Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the
Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Combomb
Speaker 1: Merry people. They've been having conversations and telling stories on
Speaker 1: this land for thousands of years, and we show our
Speaker 1: gratitude and respect for their contribution to our environment and culture.
Speaker 1: This is Rise and Conquer, the podcast where we strive
Speaker 1: to become the highest version of ourselves through curious conversations,
Speaker 1: healthy mindsets, laughter, connection, and a deep desire to evolve.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson. Join me as we explore parenthood, business, manifestation,
Speaker 1: and so much more. It's positive, it's practical, and it's
Speaker 1: about putting you in the driver's seat of your own life.
Speaker 2: Are you ready?
Speaker 1: Hello, my loves, and welcome back to the podcast. It
Speaker 1: is your host Georgie Stevenson, and today we have a
Speaker 1: very vulnerable episode where I am opening up and chatting
Speaker 1: to you guys about me and Tim's second trying to
Speaker 1: Conceive IVF journey. So I am going to do two
Speaker 1: podcasts and I'm going to do this podcast that's all
Speaker 1: about like the trying to conceive the infertility, and then
Speaker 1: I am going to do another podcast that is answering
Speaker 1: your questions that will be more focused on the pregnancy.
Speaker 1: So if you're listening to that and that one, the
Speaker 1: second one isn't out yet, that one will be coming out,
Speaker 1: And that's more kind of like answering questions at this
Speaker 1: moment in time, twenty weeks pregnant, Whereas what you're about
Speaker 1: to hear is literally live audio from our year long
Speaker 1: trying to conceive journey. And I think it's really important
Speaker 1: to open up and talk about this because when you
Speaker 1: are trying to conceive, especially if you haven't told anyone
Speaker 1: about it, it can feel very isolating, and especially if
Speaker 1: you have friends and family around you who are getting
Speaker 1: pregnant so easily, it can really be such a heavy
Speaker 1: time emotionally. But it's also so normal, Like I've had
Speaker 1: more than half of my girlfriends have experienced some form
Speaker 1: of infertility, so it's so normal, but I think we
Speaker 1: don't talk about it enough. So I just wanted to
Speaker 1: open up the conversation and you'll hear in these clips
Speaker 1: I'm going to go through. I started in January twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four, and I just wanted to document myself and
Speaker 1: my mental health because in our first trying to conceive journey.
Speaker 1: I honestly struggled so much and it wasn't good, and
Speaker 1: I really wanted this journey to be different. Look, it
Speaker 1: still was tricky, and I say about to get into it.
Speaker 1: We did end up having to do IVF, and we
Speaker 1: had lots of issues with IVF, but look, I am
Speaker 1: currently twenty weeks pregnant, so it all worked out, so
Speaker 1: let's get straight into it. Also, this audio is from
Speaker 1: a YouTube video, so I do have a YouTube video
Speaker 1: if you prefer to watch this instead of listen, and
Speaker 1: we will link it in the show notes. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: really want you to hear the kind of like the
Speaker 1: live documentation of it, because you can kind of feel
Speaker 1: it in the energy. You can hear it in my
Speaker 1: voice how I'm going. And I just want to normalize infertility.
Speaker 1: I want to normalize, you know, trying to conceive journeys.
Speaker 1: So let's get into it. My Loves January twenty twenty four,
Speaker 1: twelve months before we found out pregnant. So Tim and
Speaker 1: I are trying to type a baby. I thought I
Speaker 1: would like record my thoughts, feelings, emotions, all the things
Speaker 1: as we go on the journey.
Speaker 3: Last time, it took us.
Speaker 4: Over twelve months we had a miscarriage.
Speaker 3: It was so much heartache and so challenging.
Speaker 5: It was so hard, and I'm so determined for this
Speaker 5: experience to be different from my mindset to be different,
Speaker 5: so I'm going to document it.
Speaker 1: So this is the very first month. The way we're
Speaker 1: going about it right now, I've always tracked my cycle
Speaker 1: and we're just having a lot of fun, keeping things
Speaker 1: super spicy.
Speaker 3: Things are going to be different this time.
Speaker 1: Previously it was very like I'm ovulating, let's have sex as.
Speaker 3: Much just weak that, and it just did not make
Speaker 3: for a great experience.
Speaker 1: You think it sounds fun until you've been doing it
Speaker 1: for twelve months.
Speaker 4: And so for example, this month, something that's difference is
Speaker 4: like sitting in this energy of like unbothered, undas I
Speaker 4: know what I've won, I'm clear on what I want.
Speaker 1: I know my body is meant to create. I know
Speaker 1: the little beautiful soul is there and it's going to
Speaker 1: come in, and that.
Speaker 6: Is the vibe.
Speaker 1: And I get to enjoy this journey and I have
Speaker 1: this beautiful connection with my husband and this beautiful time
Speaker 1: with Ivy, and that is what's going to be different
Speaker 1: about this time around. And I'm sure there's going to
Speaker 1: be emotions and highs and lows, but that's okay. The
Speaker 1: end of January twenty twenty four, so I caught up
Speaker 1: with my bestie and she's pregnant, and I really sat
Speaker 1: in the feeling of festival, so happy for her because
Speaker 1: previously she had to go through IVF and it was
Speaker 1: natural and it was months two, So happy for her.
Speaker 1: But I really sat on the energy of, like, if
Speaker 1: she can do it naturally, so can I. And previously
Speaker 1: when we're trying to conceive things like that, you know,
Speaker 1: could have triggered me.
Speaker 3: But I am really sitting the.
Speaker 1: Energy of like, if she can do it, I can
Speaker 1: do it too, and like how magical. February twenty twenty four.
Speaker 6: Just got my parent feelings kind of neutral, not too worried.
Speaker 6: I just did some journaling this morning where I did
Speaker 6: the affirmations that my body is healed. My thyroid is healed,
Speaker 6: so I.
Speaker 7: Have issues with that, and my body is the perfect
Speaker 7: vessel for a baby to come through, and it is
Speaker 7: coming through in present tense.
Speaker 1: March twenty twenty four, Month two obviously disappointed, sad, but
Speaker 1: also I keep getting a vision of them, can see
Speaker 1: their face.
Speaker 8: I can see the curls, I can see the personality.
Speaker 9: It just is like filling me up, and I'm like,
Speaker 9: I know it's close.
Speaker 8: I know they're there. So it's like I don't have
Speaker 8: to worry. They're they're they're coming. I just get to
Speaker 8: trust and enjoy this process. It actually gets to be
Speaker 8: so beautiful.
Speaker 9: It doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to
Speaker 9: be difficult.
Speaker 1: The end of March twenty twenty four, gonna lie feeling
Speaker 1: a little bit of sadness, like doubt, like is this
Speaker 1: then to be?
Speaker 10: Especially because everyone around me is getting pregnant like everyone
Speaker 10: and like very quickly, which I love and.
Speaker 1: Adore, and it's so like expanding for me. But I've
Speaker 1: been doing like a spirit baby meditation. She's being really beautiful.
Speaker 1: I've been like walking in with the soul and I
Speaker 1: just like I can feel them. I'm just like trusting this.
Speaker 1: I've been like really connecting with the soul and they
Speaker 1: need to come in at the perfect time. Like Ivy
Speaker 1: felt like chaotic, she was like a well wind, She's
Speaker 1: a sage. It makes sense, and this baby feels really
Speaker 1: grounded and like really like I'm gonna come in at
Speaker 1: the perfect time. I'm gonna be like the glue for family,
Speaker 1: and I'm just trusting they know where to come in.
Speaker 1: They know this season, they feel so like wise, and
Speaker 1: I'm just really trusting and being present and having fun
Speaker 1: and enjoying myself and it feels good.
Speaker 6: It feels good.
Speaker 1: April twenty twenty four, Let's just see.
Speaker 3: I don't think I am not to break me.
Speaker 10: I just wanted to check because I'm about to go.
Speaker 10: And it's been a hot minute since I upticked.
Speaker 1: You guys, we kind of just like I wanted to
Speaker 1: chill for a couple of months.
Speaker 3: I'm whispering because I just.
Speaker 10: I just wanted to chill for a couple of months.
Speaker 10: And we went to Europe and it was amazing, and
Speaker 10: it has felt really good to just surrender and lean back.
Speaker 10: I'm really proud of myself for how I'm showing come
Speaker 10: during this time.
Speaker 1: July twenty twenty four, it's literally my thirtieth birthday in
Speaker 1: like two days on Saturday, and I'm just so excited
Speaker 1: to be thirty and like call in this like new era,
Speaker 1: this like softness, being a.
Speaker 11: Mom to two babies, maybe even three, and just like
Speaker 11: such a new way of doing things surrendered, detached is flow.
Speaker 3: I know it's all on its way.
Speaker 2: I just get to wait and I get to enjoy.
Speaker 1: When I'm waiting for it.
Speaker 12: At the end of July four just did another meditation
Speaker 12: connecting to baby and saying how disappointed and upset I
Speaker 12: was that they didn't come through this month, but also
Speaker 12: how grateful.
Speaker 1: I am and how excited I am, and how I
Speaker 1: know it's all gonna happen in the perfect timing, and
Speaker 1: also that it's okay, come through in the perfect timing,
Speaker 1: and I'm trusting and I'm surrendering, and I can be disappointed, will.
Speaker 9: Also being so grateful for what's to come.
Speaker 1: And then I also tapped into like my higher self
Speaker 1: when I'm about forty, I do this like timeline thing.
Speaker 1: And the wisdom that came through was stay in the frequency,
Speaker 1: stay in the vibe. You know what you want, Stay
Speaker 1: in the frequency, and it's all coming to you, and surrender,
Speaker 1: not trying to control, and it's going to happen in
Speaker 1: the perfect timing, and it's got to be better than
Speaker 1: you could have imagined. August twenty twenty four, It is
Speaker 1: safe for me to be a mother of two. It
Speaker 1: is safe for me to be a mother of two.
Speaker 1: I welcome in my second baby August twenty twenty four,
Speaker 1: So it has been about eight months of trying and
Speaker 1: me and Tim made the decision. We're like, let's just
Speaker 1: go get the tests the things you have to do,
Speaker 1: the scans and whatnot. And so we went and saw
Speaker 1: the doctor that we used last time to do aUI
Speaker 1: because he was really good.
Speaker 2: We did aUI got ivied the first.
Speaker 1: Time, and I UI is this like the basically the
Speaker 1: same chances as getting pregnant as like doing it naturally.
Speaker 2: You just think turkey baseduff. So he scanned my.
Speaker 1: Ovaries and for the day that I'm supposed to be
Speaker 1: on my period, he said, my ovaries are showing polycystic.
Speaker 2: They're polycystic ovaries.
Speaker 1: So he said it is highly unlikely that I would
Speaker 1: have a spontaneous pregnancy.
Speaker 2: Weird language.
Speaker 1: He said, my lining is very thin and my ovaries
Speaker 1: are polycystic, so they have like heaps of follicles but
Speaker 1: not a dominant. So he said, probably over you know,
Speaker 1: the last whatever months, you probably even though I'm getting
Speaker 1: symptoms of ovulating, I'm probably not even releasing an egg
Speaker 1: or if I am, the lining probably wouldn't be thick
Speaker 1: enough to like catch.
Speaker 2: It interesting.
Speaker 1: Look, and it's kind of the exact same things last time,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't not expecting yet.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so that's the update. So I think we're
Speaker 2: just gonna go straight into EUI because why not. Why
Speaker 2: keep waiting? And it feels really good. I feel really excited.
Speaker 2: So I just got a whole bunch of blood tests.
Speaker 2: See how we go. Yeah, I don't know, I feel like,
Speaker 2: feel really good. I feel really excited. It feels good
Speaker 2: because I'm like, it makes sense. I'm not going quizy.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to Lulu at.
Speaker 1: The end of August twenty twenty four jokes. So we
Speaker 1: got some test results back and tim sperm is not at.
Speaker 3: A great point, and so basically.
Speaker 1: The doctor's like, with my ovary's and tim sperm quality,
Speaker 1: IUY would not be possible.
Speaker 2: And we have to go straight to IVF. There's nothing
Speaker 2: wrong with IVF. I have a lot of friends and
Speaker 2: family who have done it again, all the work I
Speaker 2: teach the how. It's not my responsibility.
Speaker 3: The end goal of the vision is beautiful, healthy baby.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, We're just gonna have We'll think
Speaker 1: of that see how it sits.
Speaker 2: I go from there.
Speaker 1: September twenty twenty four, period is fifteen days late, not pregnant,
Speaker 1: don't know what the fuck's going on.
Speaker 2: Usually so regular, lots of fun.
Speaker 12: Going to get acupunta because you know what, whatever whatever.
Speaker 1: At the end of September twenty twenty four, I'm feeling
Speaker 1: really frustrated because as soon as I got the Piers diagnosis.
Speaker 2: Previous to that, my cycle was always on point.
Speaker 1: I thought I was always ovulating mid cycle, and then
Speaker 1: now it's like my brain knows, for example, this cycle
Speaker 1: has been thirty eight days and that has like never
Speaker 1: happened to me. So I'm feeling like a bit frustrated
Speaker 1: because I'm like, has my cycle actually you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, have I cyched myself out with the
Speaker 1: diagnosis and now my cycle's like playing up, But she's
Speaker 1: still doing her spirit baby visualizations, doing my affirmations. Trusting
Speaker 1: I've told the universe what I want, healthy baby, and
Speaker 1: obviously if it's not happening this month, it's because that
Speaker 1: wouldn't be the outcome. So I'm absolutely trusting everything is
Speaker 1: going to plan, falling a place in the perfect timing
Speaker 1: that is my lesson.
Speaker 2: That is all I have to do. I don't have
Speaker 2: to worry about the how.
Speaker 1: So that is the vibe I just like I have
Speaker 1: to remind myself of course I have human moments, but
Speaker 1: also that's what we're here for. September twenty twenty four,
Speaker 1: my period is twenty days late. Definitely not pregnant, but
Speaker 1: ignore that. But this is the new vibe moving forward.
Speaker 1: I've had the epiphanies, I've worked.
Speaker 2: Through my shit.
Speaker 1: There was actually quite a few like things work I
Speaker 1: had to do, which I can share at another time.
Speaker 1: Basically like blocks, Like the work that I teach is
Speaker 1: like manifesting, and when you can't get to something, it
Speaker 1: is a block of like okay, so why do you
Speaker 1: think you can't get there?
Speaker 2: And for me, it was a lot to do with I'm.
Speaker 9: Not healthy enough, you know, all the stuff of my thyroid.
Speaker 1: Am I going to be able to have enough time
Speaker 1: for the next baby and continue to work.
Speaker 2: On my businesses? Honestly a lot of the same shit.
Speaker 1: I had with IVY and I didn't even realize, but
Speaker 1: I had to like work through that. So I've been
Speaker 1: doing that the last couple of weeks and just being
Speaker 1: like really.
Speaker 9: Honest with my like if I was giving a.
Speaker 1: Baby right now, what would my nervous system do, Like
Speaker 1: why would I freak out?
Speaker 2: What would be like the very first thoughts and working
Speaker 2: through that.
Speaker 1: So I've been doing that behind the scenes and I
Speaker 1: can definitely share more of that work if you guys
Speaker 1: want me to.
Speaker 2: But the next.
Speaker 1: Stage of this is like I'm going to be sitting
Speaker 1: in a new.
Speaker 2: State of de Lulu again. This is work I teach.
Speaker 1: Where basically I'm going to be telling my subconscious brain
Speaker 1: at any point I can that I am pregnant, that
Speaker 1: my body can hold a pregnancy, that I am attracting
Speaker 1: that sperm, that I have the most perfect uterus, that
Speaker 1: I cannot wait to have this baby, that my work
Speaker 1: is perfect to have another baby, that like all the circumstances,
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's perfect to have a baby, and just
Speaker 1: like absolutely like sitting in like I am pregnant, Like
Speaker 1: I'm currently pregnant right now, Like I am pregnant, and
Speaker 1: it's perfect. My body is perfect, the baby is perfect.
Speaker 1: The sperm just got up there and it got into
Speaker 1: the egg and it was perfect and it worked so
Speaker 1: well because I have a perfect body for pro creating.
Speaker 1: That's what my body was meant to do, and that's
Speaker 1: what it did. It did, not what it's going to do.
Speaker 1: It did anyway. So I'm gonna sit in this state of.
Speaker 2: Delulu for the next couple of weeks. I am doing a.
Speaker 9: Meditation every morning and every night, and just like, yeah.
Speaker 2: Sitting a new state of Delulu.
Speaker 1: So the only thing with the state of Delulu again,
Speaker 1: there can't be any of those like blocks they spoke
Speaker 1: about previously.
Speaker 9: So you need to work through that first because otherwise,
Speaker 9: if you.
Speaker 1: Say I am pregnant, but then you've still got this
Speaker 1: block of like, oh but it's going to fuck up
Speaker 1: my career, your subconscious is not actually gonna believe it.
Speaker 2: So you have to do those block before. But this is, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel different.
Speaker 1: And also I'm like no, like baby, baby's so close,
Speaker 1: baby's here, Like I'm breagnant, Like this is I've jumped
Speaker 1: onto the new timeline like it's happening and not like
Speaker 1: let's see how it goes like it's happening.
Speaker 2: It's done. It's done.
Speaker 1: October twenty twenty four, so we're going straight to IVF
Speaker 1: And I got my bods this morning. I got my medication,
Speaker 1: but I feel so emotional because.
Speaker 2: I just feel like a bit of.
Speaker 9: A pity party moment.
Speaker 1: I am also my apperiens sence, but you know, just
Speaker 1: like the thoughts like I thought this time was gonna
Speaker 1: be different, like why does it have to be such
Speaker 1: a process, And so you see other people who just
Speaker 1: like instantly get pregnant, and you're just like, but also.
Speaker 6: I know.
Speaker 1: I just on the phone to.
Speaker 13: Tim having a good crime to him and he's like,
Speaker 13: bab if this is our, if this is the thing
Speaker 13: in life that we need to struggle with, it's okay.
Speaker 2: We can do it together.
Speaker 9: There's solutions, like it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 1: And I'm no, He's so good at making me realize that,
Speaker 1: and it's like, again, we all have shit we deal.
Speaker 2: With in life. This is ours and it's okay. And
Speaker 2: I like, you guys know, like I am.
Speaker 1: Throughout this whole journey, I have been trying to be
Speaker 1: so positive, but also I am human and I have
Speaker 1: human emotions or I'm just like I don't know, I
Speaker 1: just have like weird feelings, and I'm like, is this
Speaker 1: the right thing to do?
Speaker 9: Should we just.
Speaker 2: Like wait longer? I just I feel a bit like
Speaker 2: conflicted about it.
Speaker 1: I think I also feel like quite overwhelmed because it's
Speaker 1: literally like this cycle, it could all happen, and it's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just feeling all the feels about it.
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna go do my visualization. I've been doing
Speaker 1: my visualization like hypnosis thing I read myself every morning
Speaker 1: and night and it just puts me in like the
Speaker 1: best vibe.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna go do that.
Speaker 1: The end of October twenty twenty four. So in the
Speaker 1: next couple of days, we are doing our egg retrieval,
Speaker 1: which is very exciting. We did have some issues with
Speaker 1: my bloods all.
Speaker 2: It looks like.
Speaker 1: I was going to ovulate naturally, so he had to
Speaker 1: do some extra injections. But I got my results back
Speaker 1: from my doctor and he said it looks good for
Speaker 1: egg retrieval, so we're very excited. I'm definitely feeling like
Speaker 1: just a bit bloated, but I keep affirming these you know,
Speaker 1: I'll do whatever I need to do for baby, always
Speaker 1: happy to do it. And this is like me being
Speaker 1: this is us being one step closer to baby. So
Speaker 1: feeling really good, feeling really positive, putting all the positive
Speaker 1: vibes out there, and no baby's.
Speaker 2: Coming so soon.
Speaker 1: November twenty twenty four, No, not pregnant, even though I
Speaker 1: feel so bloaded. So we basically got too many eggs.
Speaker 1: I had twenty four eggs, twenty were able to be
Speaker 1: like actually used, and then thirteen have been fertilized. So
Speaker 1: we have thirteen little babies, thirteen little Tim and Georgy's.
Speaker 1: But because there was so many eggs, their wonder might
Speaker 1: be hyper stimulated, so we can't do a fresh transfer.
Speaker 1: They're going to get frozen and we're going to try
Speaker 1: next month. So like super disappointing.
Speaker 9: I also feel you can see the bruiser.
Speaker 3: I also feel like quite sick, just so bloated and
Speaker 3: like a bit constipated and just like not great. But luckily,
Speaker 3: because we have so many little babies, I won't ever
Speaker 3: have to do those injections or that procedure probably again,
Speaker 3: like I would hope.
Speaker 14: So yeah, now we're just waiting for my period, waiting
Speaker 14: another month.
Speaker 1: Tim's response was, of course, we have to wait another month,
Speaker 1: like of course, but we're not doing that.
Speaker 9: We're not in victim mentality.
Speaker 1: So anyway, really exciting you're gonna have at the end
Speaker 1: of November twenty twenty four. Today was supposed to be
Speaker 1: our embryo transfer, and twenty minutes before I was supposed
Speaker 1: to be at the doctors, my doctor called and said,
Speaker 1: come to his office, not like the vitilia office. And
Speaker 1: basically he said, you know, there's a ten percent chance
Speaker 1: that you thow out the embryo and it doesn't survive.
Speaker 1: It does happen. And he said, we thought out like
Speaker 1: the first one and it didn't survive. So we thought
Speaker 1: out a second one and it didn't survive. And then
Speaker 1: he's like, so we thought out our third one and
Speaker 1: it didn't survive. And he said, it's just not normal.
Speaker 1: He actually said, never in his career has that happened.
Speaker 1: And so they looked further into it, and there scientists,
Speaker 1: like the fucking IVS scientists after our eggs. He didn't like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's seemed they didn't put a
Speaker 1: certain solution on it. So when they froze the eggs,
Speaker 1: like basically they cooked it and none of them are
Speaker 1: viable because I'm just like human error. My doctor said, like,
Speaker 1: never in his career has this happened. Were patient, and
Speaker 1: he just feels so devastated for us because he's like,
Speaker 1: I just like this is it's happened. Oh so anyway,
Speaker 1: he said, like the fucking director signist director will be
Speaker 1: like calling us to like let us know what the
Speaker 1: fuck happened, and like, obviously we're gonna get compensated for
Speaker 1: this cycle and stuff. And is that really good feeling
Speaker 1: that I really wanted it that happened. And then it
Speaker 1: was like I don't have to go through those like
Speaker 1: injections again because it made me so seeck and so on.
Speaker 2: Well, and now I have to go through the whole
Speaker 2: fucking thing again.
Speaker 1: We had eight embryos. It's so many.
Speaker 4: Oh fuck.
Speaker 1: We're also going away soon, so I don't even know
Speaker 1: if we can do it next cycle.
Speaker 2: So that's the.
Speaker 1: Update December twenty twenty four. You know what no one
Speaker 1: tells you, the IVF bloat. I'm not pregnant, definitely.
Speaker 2: We just did.
Speaker 1: Our egg retrieval and I have been like, that's like hard.
Speaker 3: I looked like this one.
Speaker 1: I was six month six months pregnant, and it's been
Speaker 1: like this for almost a week. I did have hyperstimulation,
Speaker 1: but like I had to go to work today and
Speaker 1: literally say to the girls, oh, I'm just really bloated
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: I'm not even.
Speaker 1: Joking, guys, Like no one talks about this. As you
Speaker 1: can see, it was an emotional rollercoaster. So the last
Speaker 1: video that I actually didn't film, but after my second transfer,
Speaker 1: my second an egg retrieval, after the IVF scientists basically
Speaker 1: killed our fertilized eggs, I went through an egg retrieval
Speaker 1: and then what's wild is we got seventeen eggs and
Speaker 1: my bloods did indicate I was like quite high on
Speaker 1: my estrogen. So when I was at the egg retrieval,
Speaker 1: like after when you wake up from the gas, my
Speaker 1: doctor said, it looks like you're, you know, quite overstimulated,
Speaker 1: which happened the first time, which is why they had
Speaker 1: to freeze the eggs and I couldn't get a fresh transfer,
Speaker 1: and so he said, it looks like it's happened again,
Speaker 1: so most likely you'll have to do a frozen transfer
Speaker 1: in a month. And that was literally December, and I
Speaker 1: worked it out and it's like it would have been
Speaker 1: around Christmas time, which my fertility clinic was shut, and
Speaker 1: I just.
Speaker 14: Like spiraled and I was so upset because I was
Speaker 14: like no, I thought, like I thought would have a
Speaker 14: bait like I thought we'd be pregnant this year, and
Speaker 14: so I actually posted on social.
Speaker 1: Media and it was kind of one of those moments
Speaker 1: where I just became so detached and I was like,
Speaker 1: I just can't carry this heaviness anymore, because it felt
Speaker 1: really heavy. I show up on social media, on podcasts,
Speaker 1: on YouTube's monthly, daily, weekly, and so to carry that
Speaker 1: sort of like burden and heaviness, and you guys not
Speaker 1: know emotionally what I was going through was honestly really
Speaker 1: hard for the whole year of twenty twenty four. So
Speaker 1: when my doctor said that, I literally went home and
Speaker 1: I created that video and I'll put a link in
Speaker 1: the show notes and posted it, and it made me
Speaker 1: feel so much better because I just felt lighter. I
Speaker 1: felt detached, and I was like, you know what, fuck it,
Speaker 1: it's not my year, it's not meant to be. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna hold it in anymore. And I did find
Speaker 1: it so freeing. I do recommend if you feel ready
Speaker 1: for it, if you're going through trying to conceive journey,
Speaker 1: to open up about it and to talk to the
Speaker 1: people you feel safe about and the people you love.
Speaker 1: I personally have so much love for my community. I
Speaker 1: feel so safe in my community. So when I opened
Speaker 1: up about it, I honestly felt so held and seen
Speaker 1: and supported by you guys, and I felt so much better,
Speaker 1: and I just felt like free, Like it was freeing
Speaker 1: to finally talk about it, and what is crazy? I
Speaker 1: literally posted that and then it was a day later
Speaker 1: my doctor called and he was like, because there is
Speaker 1: like a rule with IVF that it's like if you
Speaker 1: have fifteen to seventeen eggs, anything past that, you're generally
Speaker 1: you have to go straight to frozen.
Speaker 2: You can't do fresh.
Speaker 1: And if you're like estrogen levels too high, and he's like, look,
Speaker 1: you're right on the casp, but because of what happened
Speaker 1: with your other egg retrieval, like.
Speaker 3: I feel so bad.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: And then I forgot to say he's retiring. So this
Speaker 1: is like my doctor's last month, which means not only
Speaker 1: will I miss the next cycle because it's Christmas, I
Speaker 1: have to start with a whole new doctor in the
Speaker 1: new year. And that's why I was like so devastated
Speaker 1: and so disappointed. It just felt like such like a
Speaker 1: lot of blows.
Speaker 6: And so.
Speaker 1: He was like, look, your bloods aren't optimal, and you're
Speaker 1: right on the casp, but I'm so sorry for what
Speaker 1: you have been through.
Speaker 2: If you want to.
Speaker 1: Do the fresh transfer, we will do it. I personally
Speaker 1: think it might be a waste of a fertilized egg.
Speaker 1: And I had eight We had sorry, eight fertilized eggs.
Speaker 1: And I spoke to Tim about it and he's like,
Speaker 1: let's just do it, Like we have eight eggs, Like
Speaker 1: let's just do it, and like we'll see what happened.
Speaker 2: And so, no joke.
Speaker 1: I did my transfer five days later because they're five
Speaker 1: day old eggs. They let them like cook for five days,
Speaker 1: had eight eggs, did a fresh transfer, froze the rest,
Speaker 1: and we literally got pregnant. That transfer, the one they
Speaker 1: weren't gonna do, the one they said will probably be
Speaker 1: a waste. And so it was wild because I just
Speaker 1: posted on social media about infertility and then I got pregnant,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, this is crazy.
Speaker 2: But like so divine all meant to happen.
Speaker 1: But that's my world infertility story, and yeah, just sharing
Speaker 1: it with you guys, being very raw and honest, wild times.
Speaker 1: But look, yeah, if you have any questions, put them below.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to share. Like I said, when I went
Speaker 1: through my first experience, I wish more people had spoken
Speaker 1: about it. And then when I shared it with you
Speaker 1: guys last year, I just felt like a weight has lifted.
Speaker 1: So I want to have this sort of content out
Speaker 1: in the Internet for people to like listen and here
Speaker 1: you can tell where the videos on, like emotions wild,
Speaker 1: but I'm being very vulnerable and being very open.
Speaker 2: I hope you can respect that.
Speaker 3: And obviously, look, we're still it's still early days.
Speaker 2: But I'm just so happy to be pregnant.
Speaker 1: And as much as if it was like a journey,
Speaker 1: of course, I wouldn't change a thing, and your challenges
Speaker 1: shape you. What you go through shapes you. And last
Speaker 1: year was honestly the toughest year. It was like one
Speaker 1: of the toughest years of my life for so many
Speaker 1: other reasons.
Speaker 2: But we got there. We've got this sweet little baby.
Speaker 1: We don't know the gender yet, so yeah, so, as
Speaker 1: you heard, guys, that was an absolute well wind. I
Speaker 1: just wanted to really open up and share and be
Speaker 1: really honest about it all because I know so many
Speaker 1: people go through and I think people think, oh, you
Speaker 1: just get pregnant and that's it, and it's just not
Speaker 1: the case for some people. And also my advice to
Speaker 1: people who are trying to conceive would be, and I
Speaker 1: know this is so hard and it's so counterintuitive, but
Speaker 1: you need to fill up your life during this period
Speaker 1: so it doesn't consume you. And our first trying to
Speaker 1: conceive journey with IV consumed me for twelve months, like
Speaker 1: I really didn't kind of think of anything else. I
Speaker 1: was like crying every month I wasn't pregnant, because what
Speaker 1: you focus on expands. So if you're focusing on I'm
Speaker 1: not pregnant, negative pregnancy tests, like this isn't happening for me,
Speaker 1: that's what is going to continue. That's what's going to expand.
Speaker 1: And so something that really helped me in my second
Speaker 1: trying to conceive journey was really filling up my life.
Speaker 1: So obviously I have a very full on work schedule,
Speaker 1: so that helps very helpful to have a really made
Speaker 1: sure I was like seeing friends. Last year twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four was actually the year we traveled the most. We
Speaker 1: went to Europe, we did certain things, and I think
Speaker 1: a big thing is when you're trying to conceive, you
Speaker 1: kind of put off your life you're like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going through IBF. I'm going through this,
Speaker 1: so it's like I can't do this. I can't do that,
Speaker 1: And I would honestly just suggest like, don't do that.
Speaker 1: Do life, fill up your cup, focus on you, focus
Speaker 1: on other things. While also obviously you do have to
Speaker 1: eat well, eat for your hormones. I would also recommend
Speaker 1: after six months, just going to a fertility doctor and
Speaker 1: getting all the tests done because a lot of the
Speaker 1: time it's not even you, it could be your partner sperm.
Speaker 1: It could be you know, like I got diagnosed with PSOs,
Speaker 1: so I had to change my diet and lifestyle. So
Speaker 1: it's like there's no point of like continuing in fertility
Speaker 1: for over a year where you could be helping it
Speaker 1: with supplementation. Doesn't mean you have to go straight into IVF,
Speaker 1: so don't be scared of that. But I would suggest
Speaker 1: getting the test done because again, there could be things
Speaker 1: that you could do to help it along and just
Speaker 1: feel like you're doing something. So I also would recommend that.
Speaker 1: But oh, my loves, I know it's such a tough
Speaker 1: journey if you're going through it, I just I am
Speaker 1: sending you so much love, it's a wild time, but
Speaker 1: also like having the mindset it's not if it will happen,
Speaker 1: it's when it will happen, and really like surrendering to
Speaker 1: if it's on your heart, if it's what your desire,
Speaker 1: it is on its way, it is going to happen,
Speaker 1: But don't put off your life and keep filling up
Speaker 1: your cup, keep filling up you because you don't want
Speaker 1: to look back and like regret focusing on it so
Speaker 1: much or kind of missing out on life. And that's
Speaker 1: honestly how it kind of felt with our first trying
Speaker 1: to conceive journey. So that would be my advice. I
Speaker 1: hope you liked this episode. Like I said, I will
Speaker 1: have a second episode like a pregnancy Q and a
Speaker 1: more of like an update how I'm going now. I
Speaker 1: do have a couple of complications with this pregnancy, which
Speaker 1: has been interesting. I only kind of just found out
Speaker 1: about them. But thank you for listening. Also, if you
Speaker 1: do know someone going through a trying to conceive journey,
Speaker 1: send this episode to them. I'm sure it's going to
Speaker 1: really help. If you want the meditations that I'm talking
Speaker 1: about in the voice recordings we have trying to conceive
Speaker 1: meditations on the Rise app, and we do have a
Speaker 1: free month for people who aren't members, so come, I'll
Speaker 1: put a link in the show notes you can join
Speaker 1: the Rise app and listen to those very helpful to
Speaker 1: kind of just get in that zone of receiving, of
Speaker 1: distressing your body, getting your body ready. So I love
Speaker 1: you guys so much. All the links will be in
Speaker 1: the show notes and I will chat to you in
Speaker 1: the next episode. I