1 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: Pocket money, how much? How often is it LinkedIn chores? 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 1: Our views have evolved on pocket money. Today we will 3 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: answer as many questions as we possibly can to help 4 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,760 Speaker 1: you to get the pocket money mixed right, because it's 5 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: one of those perennial parenting problems and that's what we do. 6 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: We solve real parenting solutions every day. Welcome to the 7 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 1: Happy Families Podcast, Australia's most downloaded parenting podcast. I'm Justin. 8 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: I'm here with Kylie, my wife from under our six kids. 9 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: Every Tuesday on the podcast, we answer your tricky questions 10 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: about family and relations ships and wellbeing and screens and 11 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: discipline and the list goes on. If you would like 12 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,080 Speaker 1: to submit your own tricky question, please jump onto our website, 13 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: Happy families dot com dot you click the button that 14 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: says record and start talking. It's a super simple system. 15 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: If that doesn't work for you, just send us a 16 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: voice note podcasts at happy families dot com dot you. 17 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,200 Speaker 1: Now for today is tricky question? 18 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 2: Hi Justin and Kylie, It's Elise here. 19 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 3: Really simple question for you. 20 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 2: I'm just struggling to work out how. 21 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 3: To do pocket money and whether we should pay for 22 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 3: chores or not. 23 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: Do you have any advice Kyler. To start the podcast today, 24 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,760 Speaker 1: We're going to play a game. It's called yes and No. 25 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: Here are the rules. You must answer a whole bunch 26 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: of questions that I've got for you, and all you're 27 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:25,759 Speaker 1: allowed to do is say yes or no. We want 28 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: to make this easy for any parent who's trying to 29 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: work out how to deal with the pocket money thing. 30 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: Are you ready for question number one? 31 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 3: What if I don't? 32 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 2: Yes? 33 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,280 Speaker 1: That wasn't a yes or a no. I just asked 34 00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:38,279 Speaker 1: you a question. Are you ready and yes? You've already 35 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: blown it? Here we go? Okay? Question number one? Should 36 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: pocket money be a right rather than something earned through chores? 37 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 3: I don't like your wording. I can't answer. 38 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: Yes or no? Should pocket money be a right rather 39 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: than something earned through chores? 40 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 3: Sure? Yes? 41 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: Yes, so pocket money's a right? Yes, you don't earn 42 00:01:58,840 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: it through chores? 43 00:01:59,520 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 3: No? 44 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:04,639 Speaker 1: Okay? Would I love? How hard? This is the easy question? 45 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: Would you continue giving pocket money if our children were 46 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,840 Speaker 1: not keeping their room tidy? 47 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 3: Yes? 48 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,239 Speaker 1: Through grid teeth? Would you give our child double pocket 49 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: money if they got straight a's no? Should we just 50 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: out annoyed? Should we give it? 51 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm in an exam. You're just trusting 52 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 3: me out. 53 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: Should we increase pocket money automatically each year on our 54 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 1: children's birthdays? 55 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 3: No? 56 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 1: Would you? I thought we were on the same page. 57 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 1: You've just You've just gone from where I was going 58 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: to I think every okay. Would you stop pocket money 59 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: as a punishment for bad behavior? 60 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 3: No? 61 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: And the last one. Should we require our kids to 62 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: save a percentage of their pocket money as savings? 63 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:44,560 Speaker 3: Yes? 64 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: All right, now, I've got a couple of fun ones 65 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: before we dive into the details. Have you ever borrowed 66 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: money from one of our children's piggybanks? 67 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 3: Oh? Maybe, back in the early days. Yes, I may have. 68 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: How bad it's that. Have you ever pretended not to 69 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: have change just to avoid paying the kids pocket money? 70 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,080 Speaker 3: No? Have you? Actually? It was one of my favorite 71 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 3: things to do to sit down on a Sunday night 72 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 3: with the kids and pull out the money tin. 73 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: Have you ever found pocket money in the washing machine 74 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: and kept it? 75 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 3: I don't know if it was pocket money, but I 76 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 3: keep everything that I found in the washing machine. 77 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: Have you ever blamed me when you forgot to give 78 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 1: the kids pocket money? 79 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 3: Oh? 80 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, all the time. Oh my goodness. All right, today 81 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: we answer the big questions, the tricky questions, the sticky 82 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,959 Speaker 1: questions around pocket money. Let's unpack a couple of these. 83 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: First off, should pocket money be a right rather than 84 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: something earned through chores? You said pocket money should be 85 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: independent of chores. You just get pocket money, full stop. 86 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: End of story. Let's unpack that. 87 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 3: Well, the only reason I stumbled on that one was 88 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 3: because I don't believe it's a right that our children 89 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 3: get pocket money. I actually think it's a privilege. 90 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: Yes, So if you're a privileged position where you can 91 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: afford to pay the kids pocket money, you should do 92 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: it and not link it to them completing stuff in 93 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: the house. That's exactly right. All right, Let's explain why 94 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: we've talked about this. You and I have been raising 95 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: kids for twenty five plus years. Now, why did we 96 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,840 Speaker 1: land there? Because it's very different to what a lot 97 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: of well known experts, including Scott Plaid Barefoot investor, would say. 98 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,400 Speaker 3: Being part of a team, or in this case, part 99 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 3: of a family, requires a team effort for things to 100 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 3: function and flow properly. It's actually a privilege to be 101 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 3: a part of that team, to be a part of 102 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 3: that family, and things function when everybody plays a part. 103 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:28,600 Speaker 3: Everybody takes a part, and everybody takes responsibility for how 104 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 3: things function. 105 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: That means that they bring their washing into the room, 106 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: it means to help with the dishes. It means that 107 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 1: they're involved in assisting in the house. That's part you 108 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,839 Speaker 1: do is part of a family. But if that's the case, 109 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,599 Speaker 1: what's the purpose of the pocket money. 110 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 3: Pocket money is about teaching our children financial literacy. 111 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: Great, great, so this is something that we're going to 112 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: discuss further in a moment. But chores are what you 113 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,279 Speaker 1: do because you're part of the family. Receiving cash from 114 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,720 Speaker 1: the parents is about teaching you about money and how 115 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,679 Speaker 1: it works things. I know some people say, well money 116 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: works as in you get it for doing stuff, But 117 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: in this case, we're going to make the argument alternatively. 118 00:05:07,839 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: Our first pocket money rule is that money comes independent 119 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,239 Speaker 1: of responsibilities. The second one was that we would continue 120 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 1: giving pocket money if our child wasn't keeping their room tidy, 121 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: which links directly with what we've just talked about. If 122 00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:25,080 Speaker 1: your child's not keeping their room tidy, threatening them with 123 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,720 Speaker 1: no more pocket money is not going to start me 124 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: motivate better behavior in terms of room tidy. 125 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 3: Well, it just becomes a bribe, it becomes a carrot, 126 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:36,559 Speaker 3: it becomes a punishment or a reward for being part 127 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 3: of the family. Yet again it doesn't It actually is 128 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 3: counterproductive to what we're actually trying to achieve. 129 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: And you know what happens as well, is you start 130 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,479 Speaker 1: to get in the case of the kids and say, well, 131 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: you're just not going to get any pocket money, and 132 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 1: the kids have a bit of a rent and rave 133 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: they get upset because they need money. But then they 134 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: don't get the money, and you know what they do, 135 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: They start winging because I want money. And then you 136 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,239 Speaker 1: try to say, well, if you kept your room tidy, 137 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,240 Speaker 1: and it just leads to meltdones and they become less motivated, 138 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,480 Speaker 1: not more motivated, tight of the room moreover, and I 139 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: think this is probably the more important thing. Research shows 140 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: that when you pay somebody for doing something, their motivation 141 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: for doing it increases while they're being paid. But once 142 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:14,719 Speaker 1: you take away the carrot of the coins, once you 143 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: take away the pocket money, once you take away the incentive, 144 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: their motivation drops below where it had previously been. 145 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 3: But also, over a period of time, whatever the dollar 146 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 3: amount is that you've placed value on that job, it 147 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 3: no longer ceases to be enticing. So if I'm giving 148 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,040 Speaker 3: kids five dollars to clean the car, after a while, 149 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 3: they'll go, you know what, I actually value the half 150 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 3: an hour that takes me to clean more than I 151 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 3: value the five dollars. 152 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: I think sitting on the couch is more fun than cleaning. 153 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,840 Speaker 3: And that's why when you get frustrated your kids, they're 154 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 3: staring at the TV and they don't want to do 155 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 3: the jobs you've asked them. Even though it has a 156 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 3: money value to it, the currency no longer is enough 157 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 3: to get them out the door. 158 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,359 Speaker 1: We both agreed that we would not pay our children 159 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: to get a's. This is a contentious one. So many 160 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: parents pay their kids bonus if they get a's on 161 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: their report card, a's and their exams. We don't do this, 162 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: and the central reason is that we want our children 163 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 1: to learn, because learning is great. And apart from that, 164 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: there's a stick in the carrot. That is, if you 165 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: don't get the A, you actually feel like you've been punished. 166 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:23,480 Speaker 1: It's true that you can have some valuable conversations with 167 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 1: the kids and they can maybe become more motivated to 168 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: get the cash. But I don't want my kids to 169 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: be learning because it's about dollars. I want them to 170 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: be learning because learning is great. We disagreed on whether 171 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 1: or not we should increase pocket money automatically each year 172 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:37,560 Speaker 1: on the birthday. 173 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 3: The reason I say no because it's not an automatic 174 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 3: We would sit down with our kids each year and 175 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 3: have a conversation with them. 176 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 1: He's say things to make But they always went up 177 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: on their birthdays. 178 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 3: No, they did, but it wasn't automatic because we talked 179 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 3: to them about it and we discussed with them what 180 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,760 Speaker 3: they thought was a fair increase for them. So it 181 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 3: wasn't an automatic decision and wasn't arbitrary on our end. 182 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 3: There actually was some pretty heavy duty negotiations going on 183 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 3: in those conversations. 184 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: High stakes bidding for sheep farms. The last one that 185 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 1: we did both agree on should we require our kids 186 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: to save a percentage of their pocket money. We have 187 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 1: three SSA's that explain what we encourage our kids to 188 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:16,679 Speaker 1: do with their pocket money. 189 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 3: Spend, save, and support. 190 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,480 Speaker 1: So spend is obviously have fun with this kids, like 191 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,239 Speaker 1: filly boots to whatever you want. Save. 192 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,920 Speaker 3: We're saving for the future. 193 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,480 Speaker 1: Yep, it might be a car, it might be we're 194 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 1: going to the Echa or the Royal Show or whatever 195 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 1: it is that you call it in your hometown or city. 196 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: Or we're going on a holiday as a family leader 197 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: in the year, and you're going to want spending money 198 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:39,599 Speaker 1: because we're on the Gold Coast and you can go 199 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 1: to the theme parks. And then support is pick. 200 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 3: A charity, help them to recognize that there are other 201 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:50,719 Speaker 3: people who are less fortunate than themselves and that they 202 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 3: can give a small portion of what they're receiving to 203 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 3: bless and benefit others. 204 00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we normally encourage ten percent for charity and support, 205 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: and we pretty much would look at about fifty percent 206 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: for savings, especially for younger kids, because their expenses are 207 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: so low, and that would leave them with a round 208 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,680 Speaker 1: about forty percent that they can will save a little 209 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: bit for something like a book or a toy that 210 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 1: matters to them, but also that they can fritter away 211 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,720 Speaker 1: on the things that they want, like some lollies down 212 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: at the local shop or something like that. 213 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 3: So, because we chose such a high percentage for savings, 214 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 3: fifty percent, that's huge as far as a kid's concerned. 215 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,880 Speaker 3: That actually impacted the amount that we were giving them 216 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,319 Speaker 3: to start with. So we almost doubled what they would 217 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:37,400 Speaker 3: normally get in order to save that percentage. 218 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, we really wanted them to learn the excitement that 219 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: comes from seeing your bank balance go up. Yeah, kinds 220 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: of like. 221 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 3: A salary sacrifice kind of concept that they were learning, 222 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,160 Speaker 3: you know, us three and four and five year olds. 223 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,640 Speaker 1: Something else that we did, and I'll just mention it 224 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,600 Speaker 1: quickly because we're out of time. We would set a 225 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: goal with the kids, so we'd say, this is how 226 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: much you could set aside, and this is how much 227 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,439 Speaker 1: you'll end up with at the end of the month. 228 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,240 Speaker 1: But if you set aside a little bit extra up 229 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,079 Speaker 1: at this amount, and guess what, if you can reach that, 230 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: then we will bonus you. We'll give you that amount 231 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: as well. So let's say it was fifteen dollars extra 232 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: by saving really hard, we'd match that bonus fifteen dollars. 233 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 1: We wouldn't give them the whole level. We'd matched the 234 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,240 Speaker 1: fifteen dollars. Kind of sentence broke, but it was really exciting. 235 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,559 Speaker 1: The kids love the progress. Okay, we've changed the way 236 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,320 Speaker 1: we do pocket money these days. After break, we're going 237 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:22,719 Speaker 1: to tell you. 238 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:32,720 Speaker 4: How today we're talking about pocket money and well things 239 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,680 Speaker 4: have changed with six kids across now twenty five plus years. 240 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 1: We used to be really really big on how we 241 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,920 Speaker 1: did pocket money and all of the things that we've 242 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: shared with you just now explain that. But we do 243 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,080 Speaker 1: things differently with our last couple of kids who are 244 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: still young enough to receive pocket money. Let's walk you 245 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: through that fairly quickly. 246 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 3: So previously we would sit down with them once a 247 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 3: week with their own pocket money budgeting. 248 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,559 Speaker 1: Book, every Sunday morning or Sunday night, and they would. 249 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 3: Have the three categories listed and what the breakdown was 250 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 3: as you would in a normal household budget. They would 251 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 3: then have a graph that would actually show that they 252 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 3: could mark or for every dollar they saved or every 253 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 3: two dollars depending on their age group. 254 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,520 Speaker 1: Literally watching their progress, yes. 255 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 3: So they could actually see it. And then the other 256 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 3: reason that the stretch goal was so important was because 257 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,319 Speaker 3: sometimes they had no need to spend their money, but 258 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 3: then it would sit there and it would pile up, 259 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 3: and then they'd go to the shops and they'd just 260 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 3: fritter it away because they had it. And so we 261 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 3: brought in the stretch goal because it was like, well, 262 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:35,679 Speaker 3: you've got all this money left over let's add this 263 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 3: to the bank account, because that's going to get you 264 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 3: to your goal quicker. So on top of the monthly 265 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 3: stretch goal, there was a yearly stretch goal. It's really 266 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 3: important to break it down and have really small, achievable goals. 267 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 1: Sometimes. 268 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 3: I don't think it was complicated. I think they really 269 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 3: got excited. They did, and our big girls specifically have 270 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 3: got beautiful bank accounts as a result that. Let's just 271 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 3: be really clear. They were not allowed to touch, and 272 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 3: I'm not allowed to touch until they finish high school. 273 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,560 Speaker 1: Yep, so we've gotten kind of lazy. We don't do 274 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,520 Speaker 1: this at all with our younger kids. I wish we did. 275 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,400 Speaker 1: We probably need to start it again, especially with Emily 276 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: because she's still only ten and there's a few years 277 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 1: of that. The other kids are big enough that they 278 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: can go and get a job if they choose to, 279 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: and so that becomes their issue. Another thing, we don't 280 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,559 Speaker 1: pay the kids any extra pocket money once they get 281 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 1: to fifteen. It stays on a really small amount. So 282 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 1: if they want extra cash, they either go get a job, 283 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,319 Speaker 1: or if it doesn't fit with their other goals and aspirations, 284 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: we give them extra work around the house. The kind 285 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,320 Speaker 1: of stuff where if I don't want to do it, 286 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: I've probably got to pay someone to do it, Or 287 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:36,960 Speaker 1: if you don't want to do it, we'd have to 288 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: pay someone. So the mowing of the lawn or even 289 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,440 Speaker 1: the washing of the cars, that stuff that wouldn't fall 290 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: under normal family responsibilities for the kids, So we do 291 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,559 Speaker 1: pay them a little bonus for that, and that's how 292 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: they can earn some extra cash. Last thing that I 293 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 1: want to highlight is the importance of regular money conversations. 294 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,240 Speaker 1: The Psychology of Money by Morgan House or in fact, 295 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: every podcast I've ever listened to says if you want 296 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: your kids to be financially literally, you've got to talk 297 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: about finances a lot and help them to find other 298 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,679 Speaker 1: resources and outlets to learn about money as well. I 299 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,559 Speaker 1: found this and shadded in our recent Happy Families newsletter. 300 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,599 Speaker 2: The number one strategy of the top hundred families in 301 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 2: the world. Yes, okay, it's teach your kids to create 302 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,760 Speaker 2: value first, not money, because money is a store of value. 303 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 1: You have to go back to first principles. 304 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 2: If you focus on value creation, material value, what you 305 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 2: create and produce in the world solving problems. Financial reward 306 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 2: is the reward of that emotional value, good friendships, how 307 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 2: you think, how you feel, spiritual value, how you love, 308 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 2: how you live mindset, lifting me, lifting you up above 309 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 2: your issues to a higher calling to God, getting out 310 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 2: of your ego, and like, that's spiritual value. Yes, So 311 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 2: if we can teach our children, hey, we're going to 312 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,680 Speaker 2: be value hunters in this whole, that is the number 313 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 2: one greatest asset you could ever give them. It's an 314 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,439 Speaker 2: unfair advantage for the rest of their life. 315 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,560 Speaker 1: So I love this because it highlights that money is 316 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: just a store of value, and the conversation really should 317 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 1: move away from money to how am I adding value 318 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,839 Speaker 1: in the world, Because the more I add value, the 319 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 1: more things will actually come to me. Not that I'm 320 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: trying to do it transactionally because I want things. I mean. 321 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: He talks about emotions and that brings better friendships. He 322 00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,400 Speaker 1: talks about spiritual value and how that lifts you to 323 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: a higher plan and you can serve others and lift 324 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,079 Speaker 1: others as well. And the financial aspect of it is there. 325 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 1: The regular conversations about money probably matter more than anything 326 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: else we've discussed today in terms of the mechanics of 327 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:25,680 Speaker 1: pocket money. 328 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 3: Over the years our conversations around money. The way we 329 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 3: choose to remunerate the children has changed so much, But 330 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:41,000 Speaker 3: ultimately the most important part of everything that we've done 331 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 3: is having those conversations with your kids, teaching them what 332 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 3: it means to be financially literate, helping them to save 333 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 3: for the future and delay gratification and support and help 334 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 3: others and add value to the world. 335 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, couldn't have said it better myself. It's about value. 336 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 1: It's about having the conversations. I love that you're through 337 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: and delayed gratifications so important. The take home message is 338 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: have the conversations regularly. That's more important than anything else. 339 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 1: If you'd like to submit a tricky question, please send 340 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,760 Speaker 1: us a voice note. Podcasts at happy families dot com 341 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 1: dot a you. The Happy Families podcast is produced by 342 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 1: Justin Rulan from Bridge Media. For more information and more 343 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: resources about making your family happy, visit us at happy 344 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 1: families dot com dot a you.