Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land. Hi guys, and welcome back
Speaker 2: to another episode of Life.
Speaker 3: I'm Cut, I'm Laura, and I'm.
Speaker 1: Brittany, and we have a huge episode for you today.
Speaker 1: We are speaking with Olivia Rogers. Now Olivia, she was
Speaker 1: Miss Universe Australia. She's an author, she's a speech pathologist,
Speaker 1: she's an overachiever, She's divine.
Speaker 2: She has also, though, been in the media quite a
Speaker 2: lot recently, and the reasons for that haven't been around
Speaker 2: her successes or the things that she has created for herself,
Speaker 2: of course.
Speaker 1: Not because that would be ridiculous.
Speaker 2: She has been in the media because of her divorce.
Speaker 2: She was married for eight months and it was very
Speaker 2: polarizing the way in which the media spoke about the
Speaker 2: breakdown of her marriage. We wanted to talk to Olivia
Speaker 2: about redefining the breakup narrative and also about an article
Speaker 2: that came out last year which dubbed it the micro marriage,
Speaker 2: and how she felt about seeing her own experience her
Speaker 2: relationship being talked about in such a negative life.
Speaker 1: She also speaks about something pretty important and that is
Speaker 1: surrounding the want and desire to have a baby and
Speaker 1: how maybe that was a bit of a band aid.
Speaker 3: To try and fix the relationship.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, not a literal band aid, like a baby
Speaker 2: band aid, but we hear it so much right where
Speaker 2: people think that maybe a marriage will fix a broken relationship,
Speaker 2: or having a baby might make the relationship better. And
Speaker 2: the thing I loved about what Olivia spoke about is
Speaker 2: this idea that you might not even realize that you're
Speaker 2: doing it, that they may be the reasons why you
Speaker 2: want something so bad until you're out of the relationship.
Speaker 3: A very very honest, raw and open chat.
Speaker 2: Now we also speak about something that has made quite
Speaker 2: the stir on Instagram, and that is a post by
Speaker 2: Snazzana and Sam Wood.
Speaker 1: Yes, I feel very strongly about that one. And then you, Laura,
Speaker 1: have a oh I think it's funny. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm hard to laugh. A ridiculously unfortunate story surrounding
Speaker 1: your wedding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all that and more, let's get into it. Holy duly,
Speaker 2: it has been a week. What a wild morning and
Speaker 2: it's only Tuesday. It's nine Monday, Okay, I know, but
Speaker 2: people listening to this are gonna think it's Tuesday and
Speaker 2: that it's confusing for them.
Speaker 1: It is Monday morning, nine thirty in the morning when
Speaker 1: we're recording this, and I feel like so much has
Speaker 1: already happened.
Speaker 3: We've been in hysterics all morning.
Speaker 1: There's been boxes of vibrators and Dodos and penis strokers
Speaker 1: floating around.
Speaker 2: We spoke about it on last week's episode, how no
Speaker 2: one ever sends us things, and then someone brought us
Speaker 2: a vibrator and we were really excited about it.
Speaker 3: And now they're coming hot. They're like kidding us in
Speaker 3: the head. They're flying in left, front and center.
Speaker 2: Literally everybody is sending us vibrators right now, and we've
Speaker 2: had enough.
Speaker 3: Keisha's looking at me like we need more.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 3: Keisha's like one for you, one for me, one for me,
Speaker 3: one for me, one for you, one for me.
Speaker 2: Keisha's vibrator collection from being the producer of this show
Speaker 2: is out of fucking control.
Speaker 1: Now. There is one that came in that was like
Speaker 1: addressed to Ben. It was like, Brittany can take this
Speaker 1: for Ben. I've never seen it before, and I just want.
Speaker 3: To ask you. Actually I think I know the answer.
Speaker 1: But it's like this little U shape it's called a stroker,
Speaker 1: and the penis, I think, lays in it like a.
Speaker 3: Little glides on it. Do you know what it looks like?
Speaker 3: It'd look like a.
Speaker 1: Hot dog, you know, put your frank fit into the
Speaker 1: hot dog bun.
Speaker 3: It's like a little bun hugger.
Speaker 2: It's a bun hugger. It's a Frankfurt. Do you know
Speaker 2: what hot dogs? I've got a bones pick. Matty also
Speaker 2: has a cock a bone. He's got a penis too.
Speaker 2: Why didn't he get a cop ring?
Speaker 3: Why don't Why.
Speaker 1: Don't he get a it's a hot dog? But my
Speaker 1: question is does matt use that stuff? Because I don't
Speaker 1: feel like he would. Maybe we could do you.
Speaker 3: Know what I'm picturing.
Speaker 1: I'm just picturing you laying in bed with a hot
Speaker 1: dog in your hand, and he just has to go
Speaker 1: and put it in there.
Speaker 3: It's probably a good thing he didn't get sent one.
Speaker 3: There's a lot, guys, there is so much to unpack.
Speaker 2: Something else that happened before we get into like the
Speaker 2: real nitty gritty of the episode Another life thing I
Speaker 2: wanted to tell you about, Britt. Last night I received
Speaker 2: our full length of our wedding video.
Speaker 3: Oh that's exciting. Yeah, can I see it? Not yet, Okay.
Speaker 3: So Matt and I are laying in bed together. We
Speaker 3: were like so excited with the hot dog, with that
Speaker 3: hot dog. I was just holding it for them.
Speaker 2: He was just docked in a hot dog, and I
Speaker 2: was like, now's the time for us to romantically watch
Speaker 2: our wedding video together. So we got given a short
Speaker 2: clip of it last week and I put up on
Speaker 2: social media.
Speaker 3: This week, we received the long form version of it,
Speaker 3: any of the teaser, the wedding teas.
Speaker 2: So we lay down in bed to watch the video
Speaker 2: together and it starts playing and it's like quite a
Speaker 2: beautiful song that starts playing, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: in the song is the name of Matt's ex girlfriend.
Speaker 3: What do you mean? I mean like, it's a love
Speaker 3: song that has a name in it.
Speaker 2: So it's like X name, I love you so much,
Speaker 2: X name, I can't live without you X name.
Speaker 3: I knew that. I so say it's Sally. It's like Sally,
Speaker 3: I can live with them.
Speaker 1: Literally, Sally, You're the one Sallo Ruster sala.
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So that's the background, that's the tracking music to your
Speaker 1: wedding video is his ex's name.
Speaker 3: It was like a cruel joke. It's like a you
Speaker 3: want candy camera. I thought I was being punked.
Speaker 2: So I don't want to say the X whose name
Speaker 2: it was, because that's just gonna turn into a Daily
Speaker 2: Mount article. But there it is in this beautiful and
Speaker 2: it's a gorgeous video.
Speaker 3: It's so well beautifully put together.
Speaker 2: We look so happy, and there's the backing track, which
Speaker 2: was I will never love anyone like I love You's name.
Speaker 3: Surely it's a stitch up.
Speaker 1: No, I was gonna say, surely, that's like just an oversight.
Speaker 3: You don't pay. You're paying this. It's not like it's
Speaker 3: just no, yeah, you're paying the videographer. It has to
Speaker 3: have been the biggest oversight. You're gonna have to show me.
Speaker 3: Obviously you're not gonna play here, but you're gonna have
Speaker 3: to show me. Okay, here's my question though.
Speaker 2: If you're a videographer and you're creating a wedding video
Speaker 2: for someone, why would you choose a song that has
Speaker 2: a name of someone who's not in the video, like,
Speaker 2: why would you think that that's a good song to choose.
Speaker 2: My name is Laura, his name is Matt, and here
Speaker 2: is a song about Sally and how much Matt loves Sally.
Speaker 1: I am gonna have to hear it to make an
Speaker 1: educated opinion. Can we take a more break out and
Speaker 1: watch it now? Okay, Oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1: It is literally that Okay, firstly beautiful video. You look
Speaker 1: very happy and you look like a supermodel. I cannot
Speaker 1: believe this is a like just for you guys playing
Speaker 1: at home, because Laura's never going to play that because
Speaker 1: that would be wild. It's literally like there's only one
Speaker 1: person in the world for me. It's you, Sally, Like
Speaker 1: that's what it is. And I can't wait to be
Speaker 1: with you or forever and if there's no one else
Speaker 1: that I can ever hot dog with except you.
Speaker 2: I don't want to give too much of the lyrics
Speaker 2: away because they also don't want people to go and
Speaker 2: google the song and then to be able to find.
Speaker 3: It out, so I'm gonna pay them all now.
Speaker 2: Basically, they're saying like, I'm never going to fall in
Speaker 2: love again after falling in love with you, like that's
Speaker 2: the lyrics. The lyrics are like it's you, like you're
Speaker 2: the only person I'm going to fall in love with,
Speaker 2: and then he married me.
Speaker 1: What it's sane is what it's saying is Laura is
Speaker 1: the prize at the carnival because I didn't get the
Speaker 1: good prize, Like I couldn't win a big teddy bear,
Speaker 1: which is you?
Speaker 3: So I'm going to take.
Speaker 1: This little skunk. No, I went home with the used
Speaker 1: to showbag instead. No, they're expensive, they're pretty good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's the one you pick, So that's fine, right, No,
Speaker 1: that is so funny. I hope you're not too upset,
Speaker 1: but it's definitely unintentional. I'm going to call it's unintentional.
Speaker 1: I okay, I'm not upset. I'm not upset. I definitely
Speaker 1: for a minute cut in.
Speaker 3: I'm not upset.
Speaker 2: Guys, I am not upset. You know when someone's upset
Speaker 2: and they're trying to convince you everything's fine. I'm fine,
Speaker 2: everything is fine.
Speaker 3: I just stopped talking to me because I'm on the verch.
Speaker 2: I was laying in bed next to Matt and I
Speaker 2: just looked at him and I was like, did that
Speaker 2: just say what I think it's set, and he looked
Speaker 2: at me and was like, yeah, I think it did.
Speaker 3: And I was like, well, this is fucking awkward, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Did you laugh though, or were you just bit like
Speaker 1: I'm actually upse I.
Speaker 3: Haven't laughed yet, but I mean I did. Now that's nice. Okay.
Speaker 1: Well, while we're on the love train, whether it is
Speaker 1: loving your ex'es or your current partner, your current husband.
Speaker 3: Your wife, we need to do a big.
Speaker 1: Congratulations, a big shout out to our good friend Rebel Wilson,
Speaker 1: who just got.
Speaker 3: Engaged this morning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she kept that exclusive from us, didn't she. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she could have dropped it right, She could have sent
Speaker 1: me in. I could have been there, like no, I
Speaker 1: was in Disneyland. I don't know the details. I haven't
Speaker 1: spoken to her. I've left her a voice message, but
Speaker 1: it's really sweet and it's funny because it was only
Speaker 1: ten days ago. Now. We did an episode where we're
Speaker 1: talking about how quickly things are moving and how life can.
Speaker 3: Change so much, and then a week later it's changed again.
Speaker 3: So it's so nice to see. We love love.
Speaker 2: That's the whole reason why we started this podcast, and
Speaker 2: we talk about it.
Speaker 3: Ex boyfriends. Yeah, but you know.
Speaker 2: What, mostly because we love love, all right, there's something
Speaker 2: else that's happened in the media world, in the influence
Speaker 2: of world this week, and we wanted to talk about
Speaker 2: it because we had some polarizing feels about this one.
Speaker 2: And now let me say this first, we kind of
Speaker 2: had a bit of a fight over whether we should
Speaker 2: talk about this. Britt you wanted to speak about I
Speaker 2: like that. I'm bread combing what it is. Basically, it's
Speaker 2: Sam and s Nazana have been in the news recently
Speaker 2: because Da Da Dah. Snazana posted a photo on Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day of their very expensive cars and said him and
Speaker 2: her staying in tonight or something of that effect.
Speaker 1: I think the reason we decided to talk about this
Speaker 1: is for me, it made me quite angry.
Speaker 3: And what made me angry is not Snazzana's post.
Speaker 1: It's not the fact that they're worth seventy million dollars congratulations,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. What made me a bit upset and angry
Speaker 1: is the response from the media and from other people
Speaker 1: over the fact that they have made money and they
Speaker 1: are successful. Now, what we're talking about is on Valentine's Days,
Speaker 1: Nazana put a photo up of some beautiful vehicles that
Speaker 1: she owns out the front of a beautiful house.
Speaker 2: It was a black Mercedes Benz G Class very nice,
Speaker 2: and a white Porsche. I thought it was a king,
Speaker 2: but apparently it's not. That it's something else and a word.
Speaker 2: I think it's a push.
Speaker 3: Well, we don't know because we don't have them. I
Speaker 3: think it's like a kror kr yep. Really we are
Speaker 3: well into the cargage. Yeah, this morning Laura was like,
Speaker 3: what's a king? I was like, what will never own?
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, we're never gonna own it, okay, But
Speaker 2: just to give you like the information on that, like
Speaker 2: on the types of cars that they are. So the
Speaker 2: Mercedes Benz G Class costs around two hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: thousand dollars, right, and then the Porsche costs around three
Speaker 2: hundred and forty thousand dollars.
Speaker 3: So beautiful luxury cars totally.
Speaker 2: So the combined total of wealth in those two cars
Speaker 2: in that one photo was over six hundred and fifty
Speaker 2: thousand dollars. When you think about it, the average income
Speaker 2: of Australians is ninety thousand dollars, So you know, that's
Speaker 2: six years of someone's entire working ability tied up just
Speaker 2: in cars.
Speaker 1: So off the back of this photo of the luxury
Speaker 1: cars out in the front of what looks like a
Speaker 1: really lovely house, they were receiving some hate and some
Speaker 1: backlash and negativity on the photos. There was a Daily
Speaker 1: Mail article about it, because of course there was a
Speaker 1: Daily Male article about it. But now I feel like
Speaker 1: it's going to just be this thing that's attached to them.
Speaker 1: We've spoken about it before with Zoe Foster Blake. When
Speaker 1: a woman becomes very successful, all of a sudden, everything
Speaker 1: is about what they're wearing, how much money they've got.
Speaker 3: What they're doing.
Speaker 1: Has nothing to do with that, right, The articles have
Speaker 1: nothing to do with it. But this article that has come
Speaker 1: out after this.
Speaker 3: Photo, it's a photo.
Speaker 1: So Nazana just has a photo, a selfie in the
Speaker 1: mirror in the bathroom. There's nothing in the bathroom like
Speaker 1: it's just a clean bathroom, and it's a photo of
Speaker 1: her just she just looks hot. And the headline is
Speaker 1: Sam Wood's wife's Nazana uses ninety two dollar designer soap
Speaker 1: after sparking backlash for humble brag posts about her luxury cars,
Speaker 1: and then later on in the article they talk about
Speaker 1: how much the perfume is worth, because all that's in
Speaker 1: this photo is in at the perfume and the soap,
Speaker 1: So they've talked in the headline about how much the
Speaker 1: soap is. They've talked in the article about how much
Speaker 1: the perfume is. But the thing that really grinds my
Speaker 1: gears is that the headline, in big bold writings says,
Speaker 1: did you forget that you used to be a single mum?
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you don't ever forget your past and
Speaker 1: moments like that, especially if there have been times of struggling,
Speaker 1: which I'm making an assumption. I don't know Snazanna world,
Speaker 1: but I'm assuming when you're a single mom, there's.
Speaker 3: Always going to be tough moments. I don't think that's
Speaker 3: something that you would forget. I guess.
Speaker 2: One of the things that I have a real issue
Speaker 2: with is how the media once a woman becomes successful
Speaker 2: and is in the category of having so much money
Speaker 2: that the wealth is almost unbelievable.
Speaker 3: I'm talking in the millions and millions of dollars.
Speaker 2: The types of articles that are written are written in
Speaker 2: a way to characterize them as though they're bad people
Speaker 2: because they have a lot of money, like look at
Speaker 2: them step out in their Gucci shoes, and then we
Speaker 2: like to kind of itemize the amount of money that
Speaker 2: someone has spent on clothing, which I think it tries
Speaker 2: to imply that that person is vacuous or that they're materialistic,
Speaker 2: and it creates a persona, It creates a character around
Speaker 2: that person. Whereas Sam and Snazzana have always been super relatable,
Speaker 2: super likable people, and I think that people have followed
Speaker 2: them from their bachelor journey where's Aa was a single mum,
Speaker 2: Sam was a guy who had a fitness thing you
Speaker 2: know that he was doing, and they have evolved into
Speaker 2: this immense wealth, both incredibly lovely people, both people who
Speaker 2: I think that their general followers have followed and feel
Speaker 2: like they can relate to because maybe they saw a
Speaker 2: bit of themselves in them, or they saw their family
Speaker 2: as being aspirational. Now, I think that there's two parts
Speaker 2: of this conversation that's pretty interesting. One is the way
Speaker 2: that media like to latch onto something ie money, and
Speaker 2: create that sort of characterization that I just mentioned. But
Speaker 2: also I think the tides have changed with social media.
Speaker 2: People don't want to look at people's immense wealth like
Speaker 2: I saw the post because I know that it was
Speaker 2: Valentine's dafflicted past it and for a second I was
Speaker 2: kind of like, oh wow, that's.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't even know what that car is.
Speaker 3: I don't know how to say the name.
Speaker 2: But that pepper that looks expensive, and I think reason
Speaker 2: why it makes people get their guard up about it
Speaker 2: some people and I'm playing Devil's advocate here, Increasingly people
Speaker 2: don't want to see on Instagram things that make them
Speaker 2: feel bad. They want to see on Instagram things that
Speaker 2: they relate to. Going to say, it doesn't mean that
Speaker 2: we should be up in arms about it. What you
Speaker 2: should do is you should just unfollow and move on.
Speaker 2: But I do understand why there are some people who
Speaker 2: feel as though and it comes from a place of
Speaker 2: not having, It comes from a place of jealousy, It
Speaker 2: comes from a place of torp poppy syndrome. But I
Speaker 2: understand why that post maybe miss the mark in this
Speaker 2: current climate.
Speaker 1: I understand too, But I disagree with you when you
Speaker 1: say people don't want to see that wealth. I think
Speaker 1: the opposite. People are obsessed with people that live a
Speaker 1: life they can't imagine. That's why the Kardashians are the
Speaker 1: most followed people in the world. They're all billionaires, three
Speaker 1: of the four billionaires. True, we love to see how
Speaker 1: the other half live. But the problem with this is
Speaker 1: Snazana and Sam's followers weren't those people. But if Snazana
Speaker 1: and Sam are evolving and they do want to start
Speaker 1: to post these kind of things and the luxury things,
Speaker 1: that is so okay. All that means is their audience
Speaker 1: can change.
Speaker 2: What you mean is that their followers weren't following them
Speaker 2: for that content. They've isolated their followers because their follower
Speaker 2: are there for like the relatable family posts, not for
Speaker 2: the west super wealthy posts.
Speaker 3: Yes, they got to tap into the Kardashian space, but.
Speaker 1: I think that's okay. I think that this is what
Speaker 1: happens you at the end of the day. Us as
Speaker 1: a consumer, we're in charge if you want to press
Speaker 1: that follow or that unfollowed button. I don't like the
Speaker 1: fact that like people then feel the need to go
Speaker 1: and pile on and bombard and abuse and bully someone.
Speaker 1: There is absolutely no need for it. And some of
Speaker 1: the comments that were on this post, like this is
Speaker 1: just she just posted a photo of her cars. At
Speaker 1: the end of the day, Some of the comments were,
Speaker 1: you were a No. One single mother that joined the
Speaker 1: Bachelor TV show, Stay grounded. Someone else said, can't stand
Speaker 1: shelf posts like this. If I wanted posts like this,
Speaker 1: I'd follow the Kardashians. Geez, money changes people. Someone else said,
Speaker 1: good to see your husband's fortune, Now whar's yours?
Speaker 3: Wow? I just think and like, there's a.
Speaker 2: Multitude me off as a mum because I'm like, the
Speaker 2: sacrifices she has made to raise their children has allowed
Speaker 2: for that fortune.
Speaker 3: Do not get me started on that conversation.
Speaker 1: A lot of the fitness posts have been back after pregnancy,
Speaker 1: getting the body back to your strength and fitness, which
Speaker 1: is Snazzanna as well.
Speaker 2: I totally Snazanna's actually been when you think about it,
Speaker 2: like that, she's the pin up of their brand. Like
Speaker 2: the entire twenty eight Days as a concept has been,
Speaker 2: and I shouldn't say entire, A big part of the
Speaker 2: twenty eight Days branding has evolved around Snazzana's ability to
Speaker 2: have this incredible body after having babies, and I think
Speaker 2: that without her being like the flagship of the brand,
Speaker 2: it wouldn't have grown as immensely. She is so imperative
Speaker 2: to what twenty eight days is So that makes me
Speaker 2: annoyed because I'm like, you can't extrapolate the two of.
Speaker 3: Them, exactly.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's one person out there any of
Speaker 1: these people that are writing these bullying comments. Any of them,
Speaker 1: I can guarantee you if they have made seventy million dollars,
Speaker 1: they go and buy a nice car as well.
Speaker 2: So my thing isn't so much about the individual comments,
Speaker 2: because I think on an individual basis, it comes from
Speaker 2: a place of her Like I said, it comes from
Speaker 2: a place of tall poppy syndrome. The issue I have
Speaker 2: is how the media perpetuates it and encourages it.
Speaker 3: It's very, very steeped.
Speaker 2: In misogyny because we never ever see articles that say, hey,
Speaker 2: look at this man and the expensive suit he's wearing
Speaker 2: and the expensive car. Carl Sandelanz drives a Rolls Royce,
Speaker 2: and you never see the things that he owns itemized out.
Speaker 3: You never see it done to a man.
Speaker 2: You only see it done to the likes of incredibly
Speaker 2: successful women like Zoe Foster Blake and Snazana.
Speaker 3: Exactly, which is why I have steam coming out of
Speaker 3: my brain right now.
Speaker 2: I think with this whole situation, and the reason why
Speaker 2: it has blown up in the way that it has. Ultimately,
Speaker 2: people don't want to feel like they're being looked down
Speaker 2: on social media. They don't want to feel like they're
Speaker 2: having somebody else's success pushed into their face or flaunted
Speaker 2: into their face, especially when the reason why you have
Speaker 2: followed someone is because of their relatability. Am I saying
Speaker 2: that they shouldn't post these things. Absolutely not. They can
Speaker 2: live their life and do whatever they want to, And
Speaker 2: I don't think that they did anything wrong whatsoever. But
Speaker 2: do I think that maybe it was a mismatch in
Speaker 2: what the expectations that their followers have. Absolutely I think
Speaker 2: that that post was to the wrong audience. And I
Speaker 2: think you have to when you have a social media following,
Speaker 2: you have to know your audience. You have to cater
Speaker 2: to the people who have loved and supported you for
Speaker 2: so long because they're part of your brand, they're part
Speaker 2: of your business, they're part of what has made you
Speaker 2: get to the point that you're at. Well. I guess
Speaker 2: then the question is like nobody's posting a photo of
Speaker 2: a trailer and a torago next to each other and
Speaker 2: being like but then him and her staying in tonight.
Speaker 1: But then do you not ever evolve and change just
Speaker 1: because you had an audience from ten years ago? That's
Speaker 1: my question. It is not relatable. But that's also okay,
Speaker 1: Well enough about that, Enough about the cars. We probably
Speaker 1: never will have enoughing about Australia's Kardashians. Good on him,
Speaker 1: I say, I want to talk about an accidentally unfiltered
Speaker 1: that has something to do with Tony May.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it's your brain. How are you like? What
Speaker 3: have I done?
Speaker 4: Hey?
Speaker 2: Ww dot Tony May dot com dot. You just launched
Speaker 2: a bridal collection and have a look.
Speaker 3: Well, what's funny? You say? Bridal collection? Oh shit, what's happened?
Speaker 3: How do you have an accidentally unfiltered about this? Somebody
Speaker 3: just swallowed it and then shout it out. Bust them.
Speaker 1: A friend of mine, let's call her Beth, has been
Speaker 1: in a lot Sally Beth, a friend of mine, let's
Speaker 1: call it Beth, has been in a long term relationship
Speaker 1: for years. A few months ago, her partner was in
Speaker 1: a car accident. He was completely fine, but there was
Speaker 1: an accident and he had to get a replacement car. Now,
Speaker 1: he had purchased a Tony May engagement ring to propose
Speaker 1: with and he decided to store it in the car
Speaker 1: so that she would never find it. Yes, a bold decision,
Speaker 1: I know what you're thinking. Oh. He kept in there
Speaker 1: for the two weeks that he had the car, and
Speaker 1: then the day came that he had to return the
Speaker 1: higher vehicle.
Speaker 3: Now, I don't know why this guy's vehicle. Let's not
Speaker 3: jump on this bandwagon, because I'm sure he's feeling it nice.
Speaker 3: He put an engagement ring in a higher car.
Speaker 1: Now, he is a typical trade and had rubbish everywhere.
Speaker 1: He was in such a rush, so he quickly grabbed
Speaker 1: everything and just threw.
Speaker 3: It all in the bin. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Little did he know he had thrown out the engagement
Speaker 1: ring too. By the time he realized it was too late,
Speaker 1: the ring was so far gone. He ended up telling
Speaker 1: Beth that he was going to propose a month later,
Speaker 1: and then he accidentally threw it out.
Speaker 3: They still aren't engaged.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, or she responded with In this moment,
Speaker 5: she looked at him blankly and said, you are the
Speaker 5: reason we don't own a house.
Speaker 3: He literally is.
Speaker 2: What do I do in that instance if someone emails
Speaker 2: me and says, hey, I'm sorry, I threw my engage
Speaker 2: ring in.
Speaker 3: The bin, like, do I give them a discount for
Speaker 3: a second? Well, I don't know.
Speaker 1: But what you're doing now is probably setting yourself up
Speaker 1: to give a lot of discounts because a lot.
Speaker 3: Of emails are going to come in, Like I left
Speaker 3: it in a car. So my thing here is right.
Speaker 1: Like the first thing my brain gravitates too, is I
Speaker 1: wouldn't be telling Beth that story until I had actually proposed.
Speaker 1: So I would have sauced a ring somehow proposed and
Speaker 1: then said, want an all funny story, you don't rub.
Speaker 3: It in their face and said guess what almost happened?
Speaker 2: But now it's not well, I mean he probably has
Speaker 2: to save up to buy another one, which could be
Speaker 2: bloody you.
Speaker 1: Even how much worse is it to say you almost
Speaker 1: got engaged, fy but not?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I just expect him to propose, but
Speaker 2: without a ring, get a burger ring?
Speaker 3: Just proposed to me, you can get really nice rings.
Speaker 2: Just thought you're about to say you can get really
Speaker 2: nice burger rings. You can.
Speaker 3: I love a burger ing. All right, let's get into
Speaker 3: the chat with Olivia.
Speaker 1: Joining us on the podcast today is former Miss Universe,
Speaker 1: Australia author of Find Your Light and just in case
Speaker 1: that's not enough, she's also a speech pathologist. Olivia Rogers,
Speaker 1: Welcome to Life Uncut.
Speaker 4: Thanks girls, I'm so excited to be on as a
Speaker 4: fan of the podcast.
Speaker 1: Olivia, you are a bit of a woman at the moment,
Speaker 1: at the moment, aren't you?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: I don't think this one morning that I wake up
Speaker 1: at the cracker dawn, roll over in bed, open the
Speaker 1: daily mail and I do not see an article on you.
Speaker 4: What a way to start the day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, There's been a bit going on the past few months.
Speaker 2: You have been so successful. You authored your book last year.
Speaker 2: But something that has been making headlines and something we've
Speaker 2: spoken about quite a bit on the podcast is the
Speaker 2: fact that recently you had to come out publicly to
Speaker 2: say that you walked away from your marriage after eight
Speaker 2: months of being married. Now, we want to get into
Speaker 2: that conversation because for us and in terms of we
Speaker 2: talk about relationships so much on this podcast, but one
Speaker 2: of the things we really wanted to talk about was
Speaker 2: reclaiming your identity post a breakup, and it's something that
Speaker 2: you have done with incredible grace in the public eye
Speaker 2: and sexiness and sexiness as you do better, just truly
Speaker 2: something that you should be so proud of. Before we
Speaker 2: get into unpacking what has been happening in your life
Speaker 2: over the past year. There is something that we do
Speaker 2: with all of our guests, and I know that you're
Speaker 2: very familiar with it since you do listen to the podcast.
Speaker 2: It's accidentally unfiltered. So bear your soul live. What is
Speaker 2: the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
Speaker 3: I love what you just said. Before we get into
Speaker 3: unpacking your grace, Let's unpack your just like come from
Speaker 3: the lows, and then we can build it back up.
Speaker 4: Oh see, I had a conversation with my sister yesterday
Speaker 4: because I was thinking about what to tell you guys.
Speaker 4: And it's not to say there's not embarrassing moments in
Speaker 4: my life. There's so many. But I feel like when
Speaker 4: someone asks you directly, it's like I don't know, Like
Speaker 4: I have like a mental blank. So I said, my sister,
Speaker 4: of all people, will happily share many, many tidbits from
Speaker 4: my life. And I messaged her to say, hey, do
Speaker 4: you have any embarrassing moments for me? And she's like,
Speaker 4: about you, You've come to me for this. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: She's like, I've literally been waiting my whole life for
Speaker 4: this moment.
Speaker 3: So she she's like, it's my time to shine. Should
Speaker 3: I phone in?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: There were so many things that I think I'd squashed
Speaker 4: down and they all just came out. I was like, Jesus,
Speaker 4: I've opened the can of worms here. She just didn't stop.
Speaker 4: They just kept coming. So they're very There's you know,
Speaker 4: little embarrassing moments and then there's like a big embarrassing moment.
Speaker 4: And I know that you guys love the big embarrassing moments.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we really do, don't something kind of like bread
Speaker 2: Crumbus and teesus with the little things you got to
Speaker 2: go for gold.
Speaker 4: Oh it's pretty embarrassing, but okay, we're gonna do it.
Speaker 4: This will be a Daily Mail article. You just wait.
Speaker 4: So my sister and I both got invited to a
Speaker 4: formal So this is many years ago. I was in
Speaker 4: year eleven, she was in year twelve. We had a
Speaker 4: few drinks, which was naughty, obviously underage drinking. I do
Speaker 4: not recommend it, but that's what we were doing. We
Speaker 4: had a really fun night. We were the last to leave
Speaker 4: the after party. The DJ dropped us home, and it
Speaker 4: was the middle of winter, and I went to bed
Speaker 4: with trackies on, a jumper, on a really big dressing gown, socks,
Speaker 4: like so many clothes because I was freezing.
Speaker 3: Did you just say that DJ dropped you home?
Speaker 4: Sorry, the DJ dropped us home? I know.
Speaker 1: We just skewed it over that piece of information.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, and I thought that DJ
Speaker 3: drop you home.
Speaker 4: I don't know because my sister and I were stayers,
Speaker 4: like we didn't want to leave. He was like, guys,
Speaker 4: I'm wrapping up, like let's go.
Speaker 1: He's like carried his equipment out and he's like, man,
Speaker 1: you need to leave.
Speaker 4: But anyway, we had a fun night, is my point.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I went to bed with all these clothes on.
Speaker 4: I woke up in the morning in my bed with
Speaker 4: the dressing gown on, my jumper is still on, my
Speaker 4: socks still on, but my pants were off, and I
Speaker 4: was like, the DJ dropped us home. He did not
Speaker 4: come in. This is not what I'm getting out. So
Speaker 4: I'm like, what is going on here? Why are my
Speaker 4: pants off? I look at the end of the side
Speaker 4: of my bed and my pants and my undies are
Speaker 4: neatly on the floor, just like I'd taken them off
Speaker 4: and stepped out of them and felt around and the
Speaker 4: side of my bed was wet.
Speaker 3: You've wet the bed?
Speaker 4: Oh, I think sort of sleep walked. I suppose because
Speaker 4: I obviously stood up, took my pants down, sat on
Speaker 4: the side of my bed.
Speaker 3: It felt like a toilet in the middle of the night, did.
Speaker 4: A little WI and then lay back down and went
Speaker 4: to sleep.
Speaker 2: At least she stood up for it. I want to
Speaker 2: like when people do this. This is my question. When
Speaker 2: you're like sleep walking and you wee like in a
Speaker 2: drawer or on your bed or wherever it is, is
Speaker 2: there not a moment when you're asleep and you're like,
Speaker 2: where's the toilet paper?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: What are you using?
Speaker 4: I can't answer that question. Low.
Speaker 1: I think if you're wetting yourself, you don't think where's
Speaker 1: the toilet paper? Like if you're wean the bed, you're
Speaker 1: not like, oh, where is my wet wife?
Speaker 2: I mean you would think that, but you've had enough
Speaker 2: consciousness to get up, to walk away, to pull your
Speaker 2: pants out, like you've done all the steps.
Speaker 3: Surely you do, a wife.
Speaker 4: But I obviously missed a few steps because I didn't
Speaker 4: get my back up.
Speaker 3: She didn't step anyway.
Speaker 4: And then I was so embarrassed and I was like,
Speaker 4: I cannot tell my mom this, like she's going to
Speaker 4: disown me. So she came past my room and I'm
Speaker 4: cleaning up. She's like, what are you doing. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 4: I think we had a Jack Rosser called Buster. I
Speaker 4: was like, so weird. I think.
Speaker 3: She was straight through that line. And now she listened
Speaker 3: to lafe on cut and she'll know the truth.
Speaker 4: My sister. And the message was like, I remember that
Speaker 4: you thought it was a dog. I was like, no,
Speaker 4: I always knew it wasn't the dog.
Speaker 3: I just do you know I have never hand on heart.
Speaker 3: I have never wet the bed. I mean besides when
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, you're a better person than
Speaker 3: both living.
Speaker 2: Yeah, not from being drunk, but just as an adult.
Speaker 3: I had a dream that I get out of it.
Speaker 2: No, I had a dream that I was in a pool,
Speaker 2: which is even worse because who pisses in a pool
Speaker 2: and doesn't.
Speaker 3: Get out of the pool. But I burn Apparently, I had.
Speaker 2: A dream that I was floating around in a pool.
Speaker 2: I was not drunk, I was not hungover, and then
Speaker 2: I woke up as an adult just wetting the bed.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is wild a lot.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well you made me feel better. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4: That's exactly what this episode and Britt, if it ever changes,
Speaker 4: let us know, Yeah.
Speaker 3: It happened, It happens.
Speaker 2: Well live we are talking, like I said, about identity today,
Speaker 2: and I mean, you have been so many things throughout
Speaker 2: your life, you Miss Australia. You have been a speech
Speaker 2: speech pathologist, geez I need one as well? Might you
Speaker 2: have been an author? For you in terms of identity, Like,
Speaker 2: how has each of these transitions been in your life?
Speaker 4: It's been interesting. I love that you guys are talking
Speaker 4: about this because it's such a difficult thing to pinpoint
Speaker 4: for a lot of people what your identity is. And
Speaker 4: I think we feel a lot of pressure to have
Speaker 4: one and to stick with it. But for me, and
Speaker 4: I think for you girls as well, like it changes
Speaker 4: over the years so much and you sort of get
Speaker 4: attached to one sort of identity, but then it's so transient.
Speaker 4: And I think when you when you want to do
Speaker 4: a whole lot of different things, it can be so
Speaker 4: many things at once as well. I felt very weird
Speaker 4: about becoming Miss Universe when my goal was to be
Speaker 4: a speech pathologist, and so much of my identity growing
Speaker 4: up was to do with my academics and my brain,
Speaker 4: and then suddenly I was put into this position where
Speaker 4: it didn't have so much to do with that. I mean,
Speaker 4: I think Miss Universe does, like they care a lot
Speaker 4: about your personality and you know, the messages you want
Speaker 4: to share, but it is a lot to do with
Speaker 4: how you look. And so I'd gone from having this
Speaker 4: strong identity of being a speech pathologist and feeling like
Speaker 4: when I told people that they respected me, to then
Speaker 4: being Miss Universe and you know, becoming an influencer and
Speaker 4: people have this instant judgment that's very different to when
Speaker 4: you say you have a degree or a career in
Speaker 4: something that people respect more.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you needed to start with your
Speaker 1: sentences with like, yes, i am Miss Universe Australia, but
Speaker 1: I'm also a speech pathologist.
Speaker 3: Like did you have to handle that?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: As in like yeah, as if you were going to
Speaker 1: gain more respect from that. But how did you if
Speaker 1: that was the case and you're just so deep in
Speaker 1: your studies, how did you find yourself competing for Miss
Speaker 1: Universe Australia.
Speaker 4: Well, i'd actually finished my degree at that point. I
Speaker 4: had been practicing as a speech pathologist for about a
Speaker 4: year and I was about to move from Adelaide to Melbourne.
Speaker 4: And I got scouted to do Miss Universe. And that
Speaker 4: sounds like such a big thing, but I think, you know,
Speaker 4: they scout girls every year via Instagram, email, in person,
Speaker 4: it happens a lot. But I yeah, At first I
Speaker 4: said no because I'd had kind of a bad experience
Speaker 4: with modeling and that sort of thing. I'd ended up
Speaker 4: with an eating disorder and I was just coming out
Speaker 4: of that, you know, I felt like I was sort
Speaker 4: of finally becoming more comfortable within myself and I thought
Speaker 4: putting myself out there like that probably wasn't a great idea.
Speaker 4: So initially I said no, and then they were quite persistent,
Speaker 4: and so I ended up doing it. I didn't think
Speaker 4: anything was going to come over it. And I sort
Speaker 4: of went in with this idea that if they told
Speaker 4: me to do something I didn't want to do, or
Speaker 4: it was a what I wanted it to be, then
Speaker 4: I would just pull the pin and end it. So anyway,
Speaker 4: long story short, I moved to Melbourne, but I got
Speaker 4: through as a state finalist for South Australia, and then
Speaker 4: I went to the National final and ended up winning,
Speaker 4: and I did not expect to win at all. Like
Speaker 4: you could see from the footage, they cut some out
Speaker 4: because the first thing I said when I won was
Speaker 4: what the fuck?
Speaker 3: I was looking out one of them, like we're taking
Speaker 3: that back. She would not a lady, This is not
Speaker 3: Ladylike bring this weird a out.
Speaker 4: Oh my god. They were like no, like stop saying that.
Speaker 4: I was looking at one of the judges because I
Speaker 4: was just so surprised and so shook, and I was
Speaker 4: just so convinced that that was not how about night
Speaker 4: was going to play out. And I was okay with that,
Speaker 4: Like I had a really good experience. I met all
Speaker 4: these girls from across Australia. But the way that I
Speaker 4: saw my life going was very much that I would
Speaker 4: continue to live in Melbourne but be a speech pathologist
Speaker 4: and maybe do a bit of like modeling and stuff
Speaker 4: on the side. I had a small Instagram following at
Speaker 4: that point, like I maybe ten thousand followers or something,
Speaker 4: so I never saw that as a pathway either. It
Speaker 4: was just something fun to do. This universe and yeah,
Speaker 4: it ended up that night really changed my life.
Speaker 2: Well, speaking of how it changed your life, you are
Speaker 2: someone who does have a huge following on social media,
Speaker 2: and part of that following, and I guess part of
Speaker 2: the kind of the curse and also the joy of
Speaker 2: being an influence on social media is that you share
Speaker 2: so much of your personal life. You share so much
Speaker 2: of the highlight reel of your life, which is also
Speaker 2: why I guess in your case, your relationship was really public.
Speaker 2: But then that also then means that the breakdown of
Speaker 2: a relationship becomes public, even if you don't want it
Speaker 2: to be, even if you don't put it on social media.
Speaker 2: It's almost like because people are invested in the good times,
Speaker 2: they feel like they have a right to know the
Speaker 2: bad times as well. Can you tell us a little
Speaker 2: bit about the last year and a half your relationship?
Speaker 2: And I guess more so like what this last eight
Speaker 2: months has been like for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So it's funny timing that we're recording today because
Speaker 4: yesterday would have been a year since I got married.
Speaker 3: How does that feel live? I was about to say,
Speaker 3: like a happy anniversary.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can say that to come
Speaker 1: out even though you know the situation. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's a funny day.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's been hard, like it's been very, very hard
Speaker 4: in many ways. And the public interest and scrutiny is
Speaker 4: probably the hardest part because you know, it is such
Speaker 4: a private thing, but people expect so much of you
Speaker 4: from you when you put yourself out there, and people said,
Speaker 4: you know, you were so public with your relationship, so
Speaker 4: why won't you be public with your breakup? But when
Speaker 4: you really look back at it, I actually wasn't that
Speaker 4: public about my relationship, Like, yes, he was on my socials,
Speaker 4: but I wasn't every day saying this is where we're at,
Speaker 4: this is what we're doing. We had a fight last night.
Speaker 4: We you know, I wasn't sharing all the ins and outs,
Speaker 4: and that would be weird if I did, and it
Speaker 4: would be weird if anyone did. I don't think anybody
Speaker 4: does that. Like, yes, you see glimpses of people's relationships
Speaker 4: on socials, but you never truly know what's going on.
Speaker 4: And I think I think part of it was, like
Speaker 4: my wedding was very public, and I get that, and
Speaker 4: I think that's why people expected more from me when
Speaker 4: it came to the relationship. Breakdown. But it's all well
Speaker 4: and good for me to share what I want to share.
Speaker 4: But at the end of the day of relationships to
Speaker 4: people and whatever I'm sharing about my ex, you know,
Speaker 4: he hasn't said okay to that, and he wasn't in
Speaker 4: the public eye. So it's not really fair to take
Speaker 4: two people through that kind of thing when it's just
Speaker 4: one of you that's put yourself in that position. I
Speaker 4: think it's very different if both people are in the
Speaker 4: public eye in a similar way.
Speaker 3: That's a really good point.
Speaker 4: Yeah, But even then I think, like it's not it's
Speaker 4: no one's business, and you share what you want to share,
Speaker 4: and you have to be also ready to share it.
Speaker 4: So like I'm excited to have this conversation with you
Speaker 4: guys today, I feel like the dust has settled a
Speaker 4: little and I can maybe say more than I have previously.
Speaker 4: But even still, I think I've always got to be careful.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, so much of it comes down to processing,
Speaker 2: because I think that for anybody when something is happening,
Speaker 2: you know, with any break you know, we don't know
Speaker 2: the specifics around your breakup, but there can be feelings
Speaker 2: of anger or betrayal or frustration, or those feelings are
Speaker 2: so big and they're so raw when they very first happen,
Speaker 2: and it's almost like you need to get through those
Speaker 2: initial feelings to really understand how you actually feel. And
Speaker 2: if you say things in the moment of anger, then
Speaker 2: they're out there for the whole world to see. And
Speaker 2: then once the dust does settle and your feelings do settle,
Speaker 2: you're like, well, I don't feel as angry as I did,
Speaker 2: and I wish that I had maybe phrased that differently.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah, And once it's out there, you can't take
Speaker 4: it back, especially when people are hanging on to every
Speaker 4: word you say and wanting to make an article out
Speaker 4: of everything. Yeah. My dad had always said to me,
Speaker 4: don't write a message in anger. Yeah, And I think
Speaker 4: that's on a bigger scale when you are in the
Speaker 4: public eye.
Speaker 2: Can we go back a bit, I mean and speaking
Speaker 2: about when things were great for the two of you,
Speaker 2: What was your wedding like? What was your wedding day like?
Speaker 2: Because that is something that you've shared a little bit
Speaker 2: of on social media since, but for you now reflecting back,
Speaker 2: how was your wedding?
Speaker 4: My wedding was fun. It was a really good day.
Speaker 4: But I I would say it wasn't a good day
Speaker 4: because of him. It was a good day despite him.
Speaker 4: That's probably going to sound a little harsh, but we
Speaker 4: weren't actually in a good place when we got married,
Speaker 4: which also is probably going to be interesting for people
Speaker 4: to hear because it looked like such a happy day.
Speaker 4: I genuinely was happy on the day because I was
Speaker 4: surrounded by all of my favorite people, and I had
Speaker 4: put so much time and effort and money and everything
Speaker 4: into this day being the best day that it could be.
Speaker 4: And it was beautiful weather, everything was going to plan.
Speaker 4: There was no drama, so all of those things were good.
Speaker 4: But I found it really challenging to write my vowels
Speaker 4: because we had, in the lead up to the wedding
Speaker 4: hadn't been in a good place.
Speaker 1: Was there a part of you that thought on that
Speaker 1: day or leading up to the day, that maybe you
Speaker 1: shouldn't do it, but you get caught up in this
Speaker 1: snowball effect of well, we've been together and we've planned
Speaker 1: it and everyone expects it and it's happening and we'll
Speaker 1: work through whatever it is.
Speaker 3: Or was there a part of you this life I
Speaker 3: just really shouldn't be doing this?
Speaker 4: Both I. Yeah, I had had my doubts along the way.
Speaker 4: I think COVID made it hard because we postponed it
Speaker 4: a couple of times because of COVID, And in a way,
Speaker 4: I thought, this gives us more time to sort our
Speaker 4: stuff out so that we're in a good spot before
Speaker 4: the wedding. But there were times along the way where
Speaker 4: Mum and I had had conversations and she was like,
Speaker 4: you know, you don't need to do this. But I
Speaker 4: also kind of felt like I made my bed and
Speaker 4: I had to lie in it. And you know, there
Speaker 4: was so much interest around the wedding and then I
Speaker 4: sort of leant into that, and I think it is
Speaker 4: easy to get caught up in it all, in planning
Speaker 4: it all, and then it felt like I had too
Speaker 4: much to lose, Like it felt like too much to
Speaker 4: pull away from if I was to change my mind
Speaker 4: or cancel the day. And I also knew that the
Speaker 4: public interest in that would be enormous. And then I
Speaker 4: wasn't sure if you know, if I was going to
Speaker 4: cancel the wedding, if down the track, I would change
Speaker 4: my mind and we would still get married. I felt
Speaker 4: like that was also a massive call to make, so
Speaker 4: I kind of just forced all those feelings down and
Speaker 4: just was like, Okay, no, I'm doing this. I've made
Speaker 4: my mind up and I'm going to stick it out.
Speaker 2: And was there big issues in the relationship or was
Speaker 2: it a communication issue?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I with the day that I split
Speaker 4: up with my ex, I called my sister, or the
Speaker 4: day that I was sort of I suppose making the decision,
Speaker 4: I called my sister, and my sister said, for one,
Speaker 4: She's like, God, if you're calling me, then you must
Speaker 4: be serious about this because she's always going to give
Speaker 4: me a very honest opinion. You know. We discussed a
Speaker 4: lot of things, and I said, I feel like an
Speaker 4: idiot because we haven't been married for very long. And
Speaker 4: she said, You're not an idiot, You're an optimist. And
Speaker 4: you know you've been trying at this for almost five years.
Speaker 4: It's not just the period of the marriage. And yeah,
Speaker 4: there were a lot of big issues. So I think too,
Speaker 4: Like someone said to me, you know, obviously all relationships
Speaker 4: have problems, but I think the difference is when you
Speaker 4: have a good, healthy relationship, if something comes up, can
Speaker 4: work on it as a team, discuss it. You might argue,
Speaker 4: but then you're going to try and get through that.
Speaker 4: But when it's the same things that keep coming up
Speaker 4: over and over and over again, you're like flogging a
Speaker 4: dead horse, and there's only so many times you can
Speaker 4: do that. And I had I felt like I just
Speaker 4: didn't have anything left to give.
Speaker 2: I think socially, there's this perspective that when a marriage
Speaker 2: ends early on, that it's a failure, you know, like,
Speaker 2: how can you only be married for eight months? That
Speaker 2: there's this perception of, like weoll then maybe you didn't
Speaker 2: try hard enough, or you shouldn't have gotten married in
Speaker 2: the first place. But I genuinely think, and I remember
Speaker 2: when we read this article around micro marriages, it was
Speaker 2: like they'd coined a term, like it was a new trend.
Speaker 2: How angry it made me feel for you, especially because
Speaker 2: I think it takes an incredible amount of courage to
Speaker 2: walk away from a short lived marriage, because a part
Speaker 2: of you would be thinking, well, what if I try harder,
Speaker 2: what if I stay longer? What are people going to
Speaker 2: think of this being such a short period of time.
Speaker 2: Do you think for yourself that the fact that it
Speaker 2: was eight months made it harder to live? Or were
Speaker 2: you like I cannot invest any more time in this relationship.
Speaker 4: Yeah, a bit of both. I called my dad the
Speaker 4: same day that I called my sister. I had all
Speaker 4: these you know, heavy conversations, and I guess I wanted
Speaker 4: to make sure that everyone was going to be on
Speaker 4: my team when I made the call. But I literally,
Speaker 4: up until that day had been doing fertility treatment. So
Speaker 4: it was on the same day that I decided, like,
Speaker 4: I need to cancel this treatment and I need to
Speaker 4: end this relationship. And I said to my dad. The
Speaker 4: exact words I said were, do you think I should
Speaker 4: wait until it's been a year, just so that it's
Speaker 4: been a year. And he said, don't be ridiculous, like
Speaker 4: how are you feeling in the marriage? And I said,
Speaker 4: I'm miserable. And he said that it's not a way
Speaker 4: to live. And he said, you know, the thing with
Speaker 4: a short marriage is that people know that you don't
Speaker 4: just change your mind, and people know that there must
Speaker 4: be something really wrong if you have to end it
Speaker 4: after that amount of time.
Speaker 1: We said that as friends in a discussion to each
Speaker 1: other off camera. We just said, you don't get married
Speaker 1: for fun and then walk away for no reason. Something
Speaker 1: has happened in their relationship and it's really no one's business,
Speaker 1: but it's even a discussion between friends, and there's a
Speaker 1: part of us that sort of is like, I hate
Speaker 1: we're talking about it because it's another woman going through something.
Speaker 1: But it was more of a in defense of you
Speaker 1: saying people don't just get up and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: well I'm done, Like if you're doing that, you've tried.
Speaker 2: But also on that brit as well, like that was
Speaker 2: the thing that I think is so important because you know,
Speaker 2: for one, live, we're so grateful for you sharing this
Speaker 2: because we know how incredibly personal it is, and also
Speaker 2: that it's, you know, one of the first times you've
Speaker 2: spoken about this in detail in public. But it is
Speaker 2: so empowering to people who are in relationships that are
Speaker 2: not healthy that they don't feel like they can leave.
Speaker 4: There was a lot of feedback online from people saying, oh,
Speaker 4: you know, she just wanted the big marriage, or she
Speaker 4: just wanted the attention of a marriage or something along
Speaker 4: those lines, or got too caught up in the idea
Speaker 4: of a marriage. That's not the case, but I do
Speaker 4: think that there's something to say about thinking that a
Speaker 4: marriage is going to be a solution. In a way,
Speaker 4: it's like I thought all of these issues that we had,
Speaker 4: I'm like, he's made this commitment to me, and he's
Speaker 4: going to make this commitment to me on that day,
Speaker 4: So surely from that day onwards things will improve. And
Speaker 4: I think in most and I can't speak for everyone,
Speaker 4: but I would say that there's probably a common denominator
Speaker 4: within short marriages that whatever you hope is going to
Speaker 4: change once you say I do, when it doesn't, you're like, oh, Okay,
Speaker 4: it was just a big day. It was not like
Speaker 4: this momentous thing that was going to suddenly like heal everything.
Speaker 2: How do you when you go through a breakup like this,
Speaker 2: because this isn't just, you know, a typical breakdown of
Speaker 2: a relationship. This is you know, you were thinking that
Speaker 2: you were on track for trying for a baby, you
Speaker 2: had everything in place, you'd bought a new house together,
Speaker 2: all the things that tick all those big life boxes
Speaker 2: of where you think your life is going. How do
Speaker 2: you deal with the identity whiplash with thinking everything is
Speaker 2: heading in one direction and then making that huge decision
Speaker 2: that life is going to go in a very very
Speaker 2: different direction.
Speaker 4: I would say that's probably been the hardest part, because yeah,
Speaker 4: I think my identity was wrapped up in being a
Speaker 4: wife then also wanting to be a mum, and we
Speaker 4: were trying for probably about ten months, maybe a little
Speaker 4: bit longer. We'd been doing fertility treatment, Like I said,
Speaker 4: up until that day that I made the decision, and
Speaker 4: I was so set on the idea of being a mum,
Speaker 4: you know, behind closed doors, because I hadn't actually shared.
Speaker 4: I'd shared that I wanted to have children, but I
Speaker 4: hadn't shared what we were going through at that time
Speaker 4: because it was so raw and difficult. It was a
Speaker 4: big part of my identity behind closed doors, and I
Speaker 4: was sort of preparing myself for that next stage of
Speaker 4: my life. And I've always wanted to be a mum,
Speaker 4: and I'm sure one day that will happen. I think
Speaker 4: I just sort of came to the realization that I
Speaker 4: would be better doing it on my own, and maybe
Speaker 4: I will, I don't know, but yeah, I think that
Speaker 4: was the hardest thing because on that day I made
Speaker 4: the call. I said to my sister, I don't know
Speaker 4: what to do about this fertility treatment, and she said, well,
Speaker 4: how would you feel if you found out tomorrow that
Speaker 4: you were pregnant? And I said, I would be terrified,
Speaker 4: and she said, well, there's your answer. So I was
Speaker 4: grieving that probably the most when that week that I
Speaker 4: made the decision. Yeah, there were days where I couldn't
Speaker 4: get out of bed because I was just so upset.
Speaker 4: I think the thing I want to say is because
Speaker 4: again people have said, and I've seen commentary around how
Speaker 4: can you go so suddenly from wanting to be pregnant
Speaker 4: with someone to then breaking up? But in hindsight, and
Speaker 4: I've spoken to my sych a lot about this, I
Speaker 4: think the reasons that I wanted a baby were similar
Speaker 4: to how I thought that the marriage was maybe going
Speaker 4: to make things better, which is so bad because I
Speaker 4: know and like I said before, I've wanted kids for
Speaker 4: my whole life, but I've never up until this point
Speaker 4: or that point when we were still together, been so
Speaker 4: desperate to have a baby. And I can see it
Speaker 4: really clearly now that I was trying to feel an
Speaker 4: emotional I think by having a baby, like I think again,
Speaker 4: I thought, Okay, well if the marriage hasn't changed things,
Speaker 4: then maybe it'll be me being pregnant that will change
Speaker 4: it or something like that. But you know, I know now,
Speaker 4: thank and I'm so grateful I think I'm really blessed
Speaker 4: that I didn't feel pregnant, because you know, adding a
Speaker 4: baby into the mix would make things so much more complicated.
Speaker 4: You think that those big moments, those big public moments
Speaker 4: as well, will give you that sort of security. Yeah,
Speaker 4: because it's like it's like them saying, Okay, I am
Speaker 4: choosing you, and you sort of think it's going to
Speaker 4: then counteract all the other stuff, but doesn't.
Speaker 2: Work like that, well, especially when it's been so many
Speaker 2: years of even though you're in a relationship together, so
Speaker 2: many years of being wanted to be chosen, like you know,
Speaker 2: them choosing the nights out or choosing the partying, or
Speaker 2: choosing to be unfaithful, whatever it is that they're choosing
Speaker 2: over you. It's like you have been so conditioned for
Speaker 2: so long to want to be chosen, and it's like,
Speaker 2: finally you are being chosen in being propos that you think, well,
Speaker 2: surely this is a sign that things are only going
Speaker 2: to get better from here. But going back to something
Speaker 2: that you shared recently Live and we both just thought
Speaker 2: it was so powerful and fucking awesome of you.
Speaker 3: We were like, get a girl, you.
Speaker 2: Rewrite that narrative you shared your wedding video. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: it was a very It was a very special edit
Speaker 2: of your wedding video. And what you wrote on Instagram
Speaker 2: was I recently received my wedding video and it was
Speaker 2: hard to watch with everything that's happened. I asked for
Speaker 2: them to do an edit that only included my family,
Speaker 2: my friends, and me, so now I can remember the
Speaker 2: happiest parts of that day with the people that I
Speaker 2: love the most in the world. Here's a glimpse of
Speaker 2: ninety seconds of the Olivia edit. What did that mean
Speaker 2: to you to put together your video of your day
Speaker 2: of just the people that you love.
Speaker 3: It was so boss. Oh thank you?
Speaker 4: I think, oh god, it caused more of a stir
Speaker 4: than I'd intended.
Speaker 3: It was fucking great. It was Ara.
Speaker 2: It's just because people haven't seen it before, and also
Speaker 2: because people expect you to be miserable. They don't expect
Speaker 2: you to be almost powerful in that moment, you know,
Speaker 2: to reclaim this idea of a breakup is something that
Speaker 2: we don't see very often.
Speaker 4: Oh thank you. It's funny because I obviously I mentioned
Speaker 4: I see a sich. I was seeing him weekly for
Speaker 4: a period during the breakup, which was amazing. He's been
Speaker 4: such a great support to me, and he'd said to me,
Speaker 4: you need to stop distracting yourself, because I'm sure anyone
Speaker 4: who follows me may have noticed. I was very very busy,
Speaker 4: and I think I've figured out in maybe the first
Speaker 4: thirteen weeks or something that I'd only spent something like
Speaker 4: six nights on my own because my friends and family
Speaker 4: had just been so amazing and I'd go and stay
Speaker 4: with friends in Adelaide or my sister, my mum, or
Speaker 4: they would come and visit here. My best friend Paul
Speaker 4: was over all the time, and like, I would have
Speaker 4: a night where I was like, oh, I'm just going
Speaker 4: to cook dinner for myself, and then I would have
Speaker 4: enough food for two. I'm like, do you want to
Speaker 4: come over? And I think it was a subconscious thing.
Speaker 4: I don't think I was intentionally trying to not be alone. Anyway,
Speaker 4: long story short, my sych said spend some more time
Speaker 4: on your own, and I was like, Okay, I'm going
Speaker 4: to do that. So tonight, this was back in December.
Speaker 4: So I'm going to be by myself. I'm going to
Speaker 4: cook myself dinner, I'm going to watch some TV. And
Speaker 4: then I got an email at nine fifteen PM saying Hey, Olivia,
Speaker 4: here's your wedding video, and people think, oh, and of
Speaker 4: course I watched it.
Speaker 3: Oh, I mean of course.
Speaker 4: Oh that was a weird moment. I in that moment,
Speaker 4: was like, I don't actually know how I'm gonna feel
Speaker 4: about this. They had told me that they'd stopped editing
Speaker 4: the video back in September because they didn't really know
Speaker 4: if we were going to still want it. But then
Speaker 4: she contacted me in November and said do you still
Speaker 4: want this? And I said, well, I mean there was
Speaker 4: so there were so many good moments on that day,
Speaker 4: and my dad spoke so beautifully, and my maid of
Speaker 4: honor spoke so beautifully, and I had so many special
Speaker 4: people there, and I know these videographers are amazing. So
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I kind of want to see
Speaker 4: it still.
Speaker 1: Well also like paid, I would be like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but I look hot as fuck.
Speaker 3: I am neither looking is good again, my makeup is done.
Speaker 1: My dressing God point my hands one point, like I
Speaker 1: want to immortalize that.
Speaker 3: I would want that video of myself as well.
Speaker 4: It's good tonight. So yeah, I had i'd said, please
Speaker 4: do still send it to me I just wasn't expecting
Speaker 4: to get it on that night when I was by myself.
Speaker 4: But anyway, I watched it and I sent a photo
Speaker 4: to a few friends and I was like, oh God,
Speaker 4: look what I just received. And then they were panicking,
Speaker 4: calling me like you're okay. I got emotional, but the
Speaker 4: things that made me emotional weren't the moments of my
Speaker 4: ex and I. They were the moments of my dad
Speaker 4: saying his speech and my maid of honor speaking and
Speaker 4: saying all these beautiful things and how happy everyone looked.
Speaker 4: And that made me sad because I'm like, well, what
Speaker 4: do I do with this video?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 4: Just get rid of it and never show anyone, and
Speaker 4: it feels like such a waste. So straight away I
Speaker 4: emailed back and I said, thanks for the video, hard
Speaker 4: to watch. I'm wondering if I can pay you to
Speaker 4: do a version that just doesn't have my eggs in it,
Speaker 4: you know, to keep for myself. And she responded straight
Speaker 4: away and was like, that's a great idea. Don't worry
Speaker 4: about paying me, we'll do it. We'll just do it
Speaker 4: for you. Like she's so nice, so so nice, and
Speaker 4: they're so talented, so yeah, she said, do you have
Speaker 4: any preferences of music, and I said, probably just something
Speaker 4: that's not romantic would be good. And then yeah, she
Speaker 4: sent it to me on Christmas Eve, so I don't know.
Speaker 4: People were funny about the timing and everything. The reason
Speaker 4: I posted it on Boxing Day was because I got
Speaker 4: it on Christmas Eve, and I didn't share it for
Speaker 4: any other reason than I think it's a happy video.
Speaker 4: And yeah, like you said, I guess I kind of
Speaker 4: did want to rewrite the narrative and have something that
Speaker 4: I can look back on and feel good about because
Speaker 4: it doesn't remind me of our relationship. It just reminds
Speaker 4: me of the amazing friends and family that I have
Speaker 4: in my life, and I'm so lucky to have those
Speaker 4: people around me. I hope it does empower other women
Speaker 4: to do the same thing, because it was empowering and
Speaker 4: it's special, Like, I'm glad I have the whole Olivia
Speaker 4: edit is four minutes long, so I still have, yeah,
Speaker 4: some great memories from that day. It's just an edited version.
Speaker 3: You know, Olivia.
Speaker 2: We touched on this a little bit earlier, this idea
Speaker 2: that society has around relationship breakdowns being a failure. How
Speaker 2: do you see the breakdown of your marriage. How do
Speaker 2: you view it for yourself.
Speaker 4: I don't see it as a failure. It was a
Speaker 4: big lesson. I've learned a lot about myself. I think
Speaker 4: the thing about having a toxic relationship is that it
Speaker 4: forces you to look at things about yourself, about the
Speaker 4: other person, but also about yourself. And there was a
Speaker 4: while there where I was convinced that every issue that
Speaker 4: we had was my fault. So I did a lot
Speaker 4: of work on myself, and the best part about that
Speaker 4: is then coming out on the other side, I am
Speaker 4: in a really good spot, Like I feel like I'm
Speaker 4: the most secure. I think this comes with age as well,
Speaker 4: but yeah, more secure and comfortable in my own skin.
Speaker 4: And I feel like I'm getting to know myself more
Speaker 4: now being on my own and it's been really powerful.
Speaker 4: So I don't see it as a failure. I see
Speaker 4: it as a very big lesson, and I feel like
Speaker 4: all relationships are you know, obviously, every relationship I've had
Speaker 4: until this point could be seen as a failure because
Speaker 4: they didn't work out. But that's such a depressing way
Speaker 4: to look at things. I think all of my ex'es
Speaker 4: have taught me something. Sometimes you have to like look
Speaker 4: a little bit deeper to see what they've taught you. Totally,
Speaker 4: but yeah, I think all of those situations teach you
Speaker 4: something and make you learn more about yourself and more
Speaker 4: about what you will and won't put up with. And
Speaker 4: I think I plan on taking those lessons into future
Speaker 4: relationships and hopefully it means that I'll be able to
Speaker 4: see red flags easier next time.
Speaker 1: Does the idea now when you say that a future relationship,
Speaker 1: does that scare you or do you feel excited by
Speaker 1: the fact that now that you've learned a bit more
Speaker 1: about what you want and who you are and what
Speaker 1: your boundaries are, are you excited to dip your toes
Speaker 1: back in?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 4: Not yet.
Speaker 3: I feel like, no, I'm such traumatized. It's a scary.
Speaker 4: Well now then, oh, it's so scary. I'm going through phases.
Speaker 4: I feel like I had a period where I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, so repulsed by men in general, and
Speaker 4: thankfully that's calmed down. I have been on a couple
Speaker 4: of dates with some really lovely guys and it didn't
Speaker 4: lead anywhere, but it just reminded me that there are
Speaker 4: good guys out there, and they're not They're not all
Speaker 4: going to be the same, but yeah, I feel like
Speaker 4: I need a solid amount of time on my own
Speaker 4: and I'm enjoying being on my own. And to be honest,
Speaker 4: I think it's the first time because I am in
Speaker 4: a good spot mentally and I do feel secure. It's
Speaker 4: the first time after a breakup that I haven't been
Speaker 4: desperate to find the next person, which is a cool
Speaker 4: place to be because I don't know. I don't think
Speaker 4: I've realized. It's only with hindsight that I can see
Speaker 4: it now that I was a serial monogamist and I,
Speaker 4: you know, from boyfriend a boyfriend, So I think I
Speaker 4: often just ended up with someone that was convenient rather
Speaker 4: than someone that I was like, you are the best
Speaker 4: person that I know, and that's what I want now.
Speaker 4: I don't want to be with anyone unless they make
Speaker 4: my life better. And yeah, so I'm pretty happy with
Speaker 4: my own for now.
Speaker 3: Well live you wrote a book and it is called
Speaker 3: Find Your Life.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: For somebody who's written a book all about self love
Speaker 2: and courage and confidence, we know how easy it is
Speaker 2: to give advice and how hard it can sometimes be
Speaker 2: to take your own advice. But yeah, I never take
Speaker 2: you know that whole like practice what you preach situation.
Speaker 2: Did you find the fact that you have written a
Speaker 2: lot about self love, the fact that this is a
Speaker 2: topic that is of true interest to you, that you
Speaker 2: know the tools. Did you almost feel more pressure to
Speaker 2: kind of live up to your own teachings when it
Speaker 2: comes to your relationships or were you sometimes like, fuck,
Speaker 2: I know the right thing to do.
Speaker 3: I don't want to do it, but my heart doesn't want.
Speaker 2: To do that, so I'm going to do this, And
Speaker 2: you know, I just think that sometimes it's so hard
Speaker 2: to practice.
Speaker 3: What we preach.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I definitely agree with that, because my book was
Speaker 4: a lot to do with my eating disorder and my
Speaker 4: relationship with my body and food, which I think I
Speaker 4: when I look back on when I wrote it, I
Speaker 4: was genuinely feeling good about that, and I still am.
Speaker 4: I'm in a good place with my recovery and that's okay.
Speaker 4: So I don't feel differently about that part of the book.
Speaker 4: But there were parts in the book that I wrote
Speaker 4: about my ex and I do think even in the moment,
Speaker 4: I felt like they weren't quite right. But yeah, I
Speaker 4: did feel pressured to sort of I mean, you're not
Speaker 4: going to spill out all of your dirty laundry into
Speaker 4: something that is permanent, like that, I would like to
Speaker 4: do an edited version.
Speaker 3: You go to the publishers, You're like, look, I edited
Speaker 3: my wedding video. Would also change for the second print?
Speaker 2: Copeege, can we please change all these paragraphs and just
Speaker 2: do a delete.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a lot that I've learned in the past,
Speaker 4: you know. I think going through something big and stressful
Speaker 4: teaches you a lot in a quick period. And I
Speaker 4: do feel like over the last six months, I've learned
Speaker 4: a lot about myself and a lot that I would
Speaker 4: like to share. But again, yeah, it's tricky. It's hard
Speaker 4: to sort of, I don't know, walk the line between
Speaker 4: how much to share as someone who has a public
Speaker 4: profile and someone who I like to be open, like
Speaker 4: I genuinely like to share my life with people, but
Speaker 4: now having just constant criticism or just constant commentary on
Speaker 4: everything I do, Yeah, it's a hard spot to be.
Speaker 4: And there's a lot more that I would like to share,
Speaker 4: and we'll see, like over the years, because I feel
Speaker 4: like there's so much that I experience that could help
Speaker 4: other women. And generally, when I'm sharing something vulnerable. That
Speaker 4: is My intention is not to hurt anybody in my life.
Speaker 4: It's only ever to help other people. And I think
Speaker 4: that's how we all learn and grow is from other
Speaker 4: people sharing their stories. So, yeah, I don't know if
Speaker 4: I answered your question. That was a real tangent.
Speaker 1: There's a real theme with our listeners, and I think
Speaker 1: with women in general, it's around surviving a breakup.
Speaker 3: And how do you do it.
Speaker 1: We get so many questions about how do you pull
Speaker 1: yourself out of bed, how do you get back on track?
Speaker 1: How do you become the person you want to be?
Speaker 1: What are some of the things that you went through
Speaker 1: and experience and some of the things that helped you
Speaker 1: get back on track. Because right now you are absolutely
Speaker 1: I don't know how you are on the inside, but
Speaker 1: on the outside you're absolutely beaning like you seem like
Speaker 1: you've gotten yourself to a really beautiful place.
Speaker 3: What are your tools?
Speaker 1: What would you tell someone right now that's laying in
Speaker 1: bed being like, I don't know where the light at
Speaker 1: the end of the tunnel is.
Speaker 4: It's probably just you've got to feel it, like you
Speaker 4: have to go through those really yucky moments and days,
Speaker 4: and you know, sometimes it takes people more than more
Speaker 4: days than others to get out of bed. But you
Speaker 4: do need to sort of process those feelings because if
Speaker 4: you just want to go out and party or distract yourself,
Speaker 4: it's not going to help. Like you're going to have
Speaker 4: to deal with those emotions at some point anyway, So
Speaker 4: trying to deal with them head on, getting as much
Speaker 4: as you can, whether that's with a professional or with
Speaker 4: your friends and family or both. I definitely lean on
Speaker 4: both a lot. Like I said, I was seeing my
Speaker 4: psych weekly at the start, and I was on the
Speaker 4: phone to friends and family constantly. And if that's what
Speaker 4: you've got to do, that's what you've got to do.
Speaker 4: It's hard to give advice for people who maybe don't
Speaker 4: have such a strong support network. I'm very lucky that
Speaker 4: I do. And if you don't, then professionals. You know,
Speaker 4: it might be a psych or it might be a
Speaker 4: counselor there's online resources, just so many things out there
Speaker 4: that you can find if you're looking for it, So
Speaker 4: just try to look for it. Listening to podcasts about
Speaker 4: people going through similar things. I know that that really helps,
Speaker 4: because I think when you're living something like that, you
Speaker 4: feel like it's just you and you feel really alone.
Speaker 4: So finding other people going through a similar thing, but
Speaker 4: also just little self care things like I had a
Speaker 4: period there where I just did not feel like eating,
Speaker 4: I didn't feel like exercising. My heart rate was through
Speaker 4: the roof, so I found it hard to exercise. I
Speaker 4: couldn't watch TV because I was just two in my head.
Speaker 4: I couldn't listen to podcasts and I love podcasts, but
Speaker 4: so finding things that work for you. So for a
Speaker 4: while I couldn't run because my heart rate was too high,
Speaker 4: so I would just walk. Couldn't listen to podcasts, so
Speaker 4: I would just listen to like breakup music.
Speaker 2: Oh like Adele, And that was the first thing that
Speaker 2: came to mind as well, just Adel.
Speaker 4: She was great, but also like the really empowering ones
Speaker 4: like you know, Lizzo and Beyonce and yeah all the
Speaker 4: girls Tata tell us with she.
Speaker 3: I love we got me through.
Speaker 4: It was funny actually, when when all of this came out,
Speaker 4: someone screenshot my recently played on Spotify and that was
Speaker 4: in all the articles and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: But you know what, like fuck, give a girl a break,
Speaker 2: like something bad, but that's what you do. You go
Speaker 2: through a breakup and you need to listen to stuff
Speaker 2: that just either you know, sometimes you need to listen
Speaker 2: to stuff that like makes you cry, because it's part
Speaker 2: of the process. You need to listen to stuff that
Speaker 2: makes you be like, yeah, that fuck you, Like that's
Speaker 2: my fuck you song like we all had that was
Speaker 2: Selena Gomez back in twenty seventeen eight repe but like
Speaker 2: you need that stuff, And I think, like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: it's part of the healing process. And I think anybody
Speaker 2: who's like, haha, look like you know they're going through or.
Speaker 3: They're listening to this, like, of course you are. Because
Speaker 3: you are in the public light.
Speaker 2: You're always going to have people that have comments or
Speaker 2: try and make you feel shameful for the way that
Speaker 2: you're going about your life. But I think it's really
Speaker 2: empowering how you speak about it and how you are
Speaker 2: vulnerable and how you're open to sharing because I just
Speaker 2: know so many people going through shitty breakups. We'll listen
Speaker 2: to this and will be like, Okay, somebody as like
Speaker 2: seemingly perfect as you are from the outset is still
Speaker 2: going through these really tough times.
Speaker 3: I did kind a.
Speaker 1: Bit to everyone rex, you know, like.
Speaker 3: A couple of yel days, and then I had a
Speaker 3: couple of like real X days.
Speaker 4: But I think that's the other thing too. I shared
Speaker 4: a video on TikTok there was it was a joke,
Speaker 4: but people thought I was serious, but they usually do.
Speaker 4: It was one of those ones where it's playing like
Speaker 4: upbeat music and it's like when you're going through a divorce,
Speaker 4: and you know, some days you're like this and you're
Speaker 4: like loving life on your own, and then next minute
Speaker 4: you're like feeling all the feelings that was me at
Speaker 4: the start. I haven't felt like that in a while,
Speaker 4: but I think knowing that it is a wave and
Speaker 4: you've got to ride the wave. And some days you
Speaker 4: will feel amazing and you're like, yeah, I'm an independent
Speaker 4: woman and I can buy myself flowers and I feel good,
Speaker 4: and then the next day you're like, what is my
Speaker 4: life and what have I done? And it's scary, Like
Speaker 4: it's it is scary, for sure, but I think you've
Speaker 4: got to lean into the positive moments and write them down.
Speaker 4: I think like journaling is also amazing. I found it
Speaker 4: hard to journal when I was feeling really low because
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't actually want this stuff to
Speaker 4: come out. But my site was like, that's when you're
Speaker 4: supposed to do it, So okay, so doing your homework.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I think knowing that time does really heal.
Speaker 4: And I know it's such a cliche, but it's true.
Speaker 4: And surrounding yourself with good people, doing the things that
Speaker 4: bring you joy and knowing that you don't have to
Speaker 4: do anything for anybody else is quite empowering. So cooking
Speaker 4: whatever food you want to cook, and I don't know,
Speaker 4: watching whatever you want to watch, like I'm loving just
Speaker 4: watching just girly things that you know, just for me.
Speaker 1: I wish I could remember who taught me this and
Speaker 1: where I heard it from, because I definitely this is
Speaker 1: not mine. I heard it from someone else, but it
Speaker 1: really resonated with me. And that's this idea of when
Speaker 1: you're making a big decision, a life decision, should I
Speaker 1: leave my husband of eight months? You know, there's this
Speaker 1: idea of thinking to ourselves, I don't want to start again.
Speaker 1: I can't start again. I don't want to go back
Speaker 1: to scratch. I've failed all this negativity. But redefining that
Speaker 1: thought process of I get to start again, I get
Speaker 1: to recreate what I want. I get to take these
Speaker 1: lessons that I've learned and go out into the future.
Speaker 1: I get to have new experiences and it's literally a
Speaker 1: reshaping of your mind and a perspective instead of looking
Speaker 1: at it like it's the worst thing to ever happen
Speaker 1: to you and how you're ever going to survive it.
Speaker 1: It's a joyous moment in a way because you've told
Speaker 1: yourself there are all these opportunities out there now that
Speaker 1: I never would have touched and I get the chance
Speaker 1: to go.
Speaker 4: And do that now, absolutely, And I think when you
Speaker 4: go into things with that mindset, then good things are
Speaker 4: going to come your way. Like I've definitely felt that.
Speaker 4: I think since everything happened, it's opened so many new
Speaker 4: doors for me that weren't even there before. And I
Speaker 4: do feel like I'm very open minded now and very
Speaker 4: open to things that are coming my way and saying
Speaker 4: yes to a lot of things. And yeah, I feel
Speaker 4: really grateful for that. So yeah, I think going into
Speaker 4: it feeling that way, or trying to feel that way,
Speaker 4: because even if you're not there yet, trying to trick
Speaker 4: yourself into feeling positive it helps. And yeah, knowing that
Speaker 4: you are grateful, you get to meet new different people
Speaker 4: and try different things and travel. And that's kind of
Speaker 4: the rule that I've made for myself this year, is
Speaker 4: to do all of the things that I probably wouldn't
Speaker 4: have done if I had stayed on the path that
Speaker 4: I was previously on.
Speaker 3: Live. Do you feel like you have any regrets at all?
Speaker 4: I wish that I didn't, because I think it's bad
Speaker 4: to have regrets. I think I regret not listening to
Speaker 4: my gut sooner, and yeah, I wish it hadn't taken
Speaker 4: me quite as long as it took me to put
Speaker 4: myself first. But I think I don't completely regret it
Speaker 4: because I think, in a way, I had to get
Speaker 4: to that point on my own and I had to
Speaker 4: go through everything that I went through to figure it
Speaker 4: all out. So so maybe I don't regret anything.
Speaker 2: I think sometimes you can regret what you have to
Speaker 2: go through, but the end lessons are something that you know.
Speaker 2: It just means that eventually, when you do enter into
Speaker 2: your next relationship, the standard for which you'll accept for
Speaker 2: yourself is so much higher.
Speaker 4: Yeah, this next person has to be bloody amazing.
Speaker 3: Oh, I have no doubt that they will be.
Speaker 2: Time for our suck and our sweet Brittany, what is
Speaker 2: your You had a great weekend durran Port Maccrory.
Speaker 3: Oh so wholesome. I had some.
Speaker 1: Oh so I was like family barbecues, you babies, it
Speaker 1: was my nana was there.
Speaker 3: It was amazing little babies. Oh my brother, how was bet?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: My brother had bear. I'm just gonna call him right now.
Speaker 1: I met him for the first time. He's I don't know.
Speaker 1: I should know two weeks ten days, you should know
Speaker 1: what's around it to two weeks newborn. Oh so cute,
Speaker 1: but he didn't do anything like his eyes. I think
Speaker 1: I only saw an eyeball once.
Speaker 2: Brittany sent me a for and it was just this tiny,
Speaker 2: little like nugget of human flesh with a vomit all
Speaker 2: over it.
Speaker 3: And I was like, cute, you were a classic mum.
Speaker 3: I sent you a photo.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, here he is was
Speaker 1: me holding him, and he did have vomit all over
Speaker 1: him and me, and that.
Speaker 3: Was all you commented on. I was like, he's also cute,
Speaker 3: but this vomit everywhere. It's the first thing you see
Speaker 3: someone clean this baby.
Speaker 1: So my suck this week is I just before I
Speaker 1: was coming back from Port mcquarie. Literally, I was supposed
Speaker 1: to be from Port to Sydney and I got a
Speaker 1: huge screw in my tire so I couldn't anyway. I
Speaker 1: called around to a mechanic and he fit me in irrelevant,
Speaker 1: but I wasn't gonna be able to drive, so that
Speaker 1: just was a really annoying My suite was meeting Bear
Speaker 1: for the first time, and I went to the Royal
Speaker 1: National Park in Sydney, which I haven't I've been It's
Speaker 1: on my list right for so long to go back,
Speaker 1: and I haven't been there in like ten years. And
Speaker 1: I finally went back there on Sunday and it was incredible.
Speaker 1: Sunday afternoon. I was like, I'm going to go down
Speaker 1: and meet a friend have a dip. It was incredible.
Speaker 1: It was like I was in another world, the North One,
Speaker 1: all the I don't know, there's one and there's it's
Speaker 1: like past Cronulla. Oh yes, beautiful, insane. If anyone is
Speaker 1: Sydney people are visiting, it is just divine. So I reckon,
Speaker 1: then my suck's there?
Speaker 3: My sweet did you go jump off the jump rock
Speaker 3: that's there? The wedding cake rock, Now that's the dangerous one.
Speaker 2: No, no, there's like a little there's like a little pond
Speaker 2: area jump. Anyone who's from Canala is gonna know what
Speaker 2: I'm talking about. Anybody else from anywhere else in Australia
Speaker 2: is gonna be like, what the fuck that?
Speaker 3: No, we went to this private beach.
Speaker 2: It was superl Did you go there in your Porsche?
Speaker 3: My cane Pepper? I definitely did not have a porch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my suck for the week, My suck for the
Speaker 2: week was probably my wedding video.
Speaker 3: To be honest, like that wasn't great. That's so funny
Speaker 3: to me. Yeah, that's I'm glad.
Speaker 1: But now because we can laugh together, Yeah with her,
Speaker 1: I'm not there yet.
Speaker 2: I would say, I know that it's a repetitive content
Speaker 2: and I should have come up with something else, but
Speaker 2: I'm gonna tick with it. My suck is probably that
Speaker 2: my wedding video had Matt's ex girlfriend's name in it
Speaker 2: over the top of my happy face. Yeah, it just
Speaker 2: really hit me somewhere away and expect to be hit and.
Speaker 3: Then oh, your sweet's getting her hood dog and my.
Speaker 2: Sweet is not the hot dog. My sweet is is
Speaker 2: that it was Lola's birthday.
Speaker 3: She's two. I don't know how it happened.
Speaker 2: I don't know how she's too, but it is and
Speaker 2: she's just the happiest, funniest little chunk of a human.
Speaker 2: We had a birthday party for her on the weekend.
Speaker 2: It made me really realize just how much things go
Speaker 2: down in your level of expectation, your level of effort,
Speaker 2: your level of everything just goes down with the second child.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because like this is the first birthday party
Speaker 2: that Lola's ever had, because it's been COVID and so
Speaker 2: you're like, she's two. But it was meant to be
Speaker 2: like a real big one. And I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: get the cake from Woolies, Oh, get the decorations from Kmart.
Speaker 3: I reckon. We spent about seventy bucks and had the
Speaker 3: best time.
Speaker 1: But the old Smarties on a Wooly's cake is underrated,
Speaker 1: totally nostalgia.
Speaker 3: I say that because it was like my cake every
Speaker 3: d you do.
Speaker 4: You know what.
Speaker 3: I actually had this argument with Matt.
Speaker 2: I would say it's more effort because I bought a
Speaker 2: really expensive cake for Maley's first birthday, cost me two
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty dollars. All I did was send an email.
Speaker 2: I had to decorate that little fuck up. I had
Speaker 2: to stand there and pick out all the pink Smarties
Speaker 2: and I had to go to Woolies and buy the
Speaker 2: ten dollar cake. The effort that that took me good saving,
Speaker 2: unsurpassed in today's economy.
Speaker 3: Very important.
Speaker 2: But yeah, the cake cost me about thirteen dollars and
Speaker 2: it got devoured.
Speaker 3: Coals and Woolies' mudcakes underrated now. It was the rainbow
Speaker 3: cake from Woolies.
Speaker 2: Highly recommend If you got a kid's party, that's my
Speaker 2: recommendation for Thursday's episode.
Speaker 3: You come here and gave it. And that's the guys.
Speaker 2: If you haven't yet subscribed to the podcast, I have
Speaker 2: a little hot tip for you. So last week I
Speaker 2: fucked up and accidentally forgot to schedule the episode Thursday's
Speaker 2: Ask Uncut episode, So if you were subscribed, it dropped
Speaker 2: into your account on Wednesday.
Speaker 1: I was driving on Wednesday afternoon because I'm subscribed obviously
Speaker 1: to my own podcast. So I got in the car
Speaker 1: on Wednesday afternoon and I guess I subscribed. It just
Speaker 1: automatically goes it sid just to play through my car,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I swear this is the episode
Speaker 1: we just recorded today. I was like, how is am
Speaker 1: I listening to this? And I checked and it was up.
Speaker 1: So I messaged the girls and I'm like, have we
Speaker 1: are we doing a special? We do have done an
Speaker 1: early release, but it's because Laura got trigger happy with
Speaker 1: your trigger finger and you press posts now instead of schedule,
Speaker 1: which is fine.
Speaker 3: Never happened in three and a half years, but I did.
Speaker 3: But all those people, all you guys out there that
Speaker 3: have subscribed, you got it early.
Speaker 1: And just to be clear, subscribing doesn't it's not a
Speaker 1: monetary thing, like we don't make any money from you subscribing.
Speaker 1: It just means that you get the episodes. It downloads
Speaker 1: to your phone easy. And one thing I remembered because
Speaker 1: I followed a new podcast this week, it's not actually
Speaker 1: subscribe on Apple anymore.
Speaker 3: It's follow.
Speaker 1: So like when you're on Apple podcasts and we say subscribe,
Speaker 1: it's actually like on the top there's these dots that
Speaker 1: you press and it's follow.
Speaker 3: And that is the definition now of subscribing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so okay, life on cut here it is free,
Speaker 2: free content go into if you're not doing it, if
Speaker 2: you haven't subscribed yet, this is your little reminder and
Speaker 2: we're gonna walk through it. Step by step, go into
Speaker 2: your Apple app, open up Life on cart there's a
Speaker 2: little plus. It's not the dots he dots on the
Speaker 2: top right hand corner, and then there's a little plus
Speaker 2: next to it.
Speaker 3: Hit the plus.
Speaker 2: And that means that if I fuck up again, you'll
Speaker 2: get the episode early. But it also means that you
Speaker 2: just get all of our episodes available to you so
Speaker 2: that you don't have to download them, you can listen
Speaker 2: to them offline, you know, all the good.
Speaker 3: Stuff, and stop releasing them early. Yes, sorry, And that's
Speaker 3: it from us. You guys know the drill.
Speaker 1: Tell you Mum, tell you dad, tea dog, Telly, friends,
Speaker 1: and share the love because we love love