1
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,120
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the

2
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:11,119
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers Now. Hello and

3
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,880
Speaker 1: welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. I'm doctor Justin Colson.

4
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,720
Speaker 1: This is the podcast for the time poor parent who

5
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,599
Speaker 1: just wants answers Now, and today it's all about answers

6
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,760
Speaker 1: to your questions. Every Tuesday on the pod, I answer

7
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:27,360
Speaker 1: your questions about making your family happier. If you would

8
00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:29,640
Speaker 1: like to submit a question, I love it when you do.

9
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:32,560
Speaker 1: Submit your questions via Happy families dot com dot au.

10
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:35,920
Speaker 1: Just go to the website, click on the podcasts link

11
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,839
Speaker 1: and push the record button. Leave your message there. It

12
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,640
Speaker 1: is that simple. Our first message comes through from an

13
00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:46,599
Speaker 1: anonymous listener who says, I'm having some trouble with screens,

14
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,720
Speaker 1: except I'm the one having difficulty. I find I'm often

15
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,279
Speaker 1: getting stuck on them, and especially my three year old

16
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,720
Speaker 1: ends up watching silly amounts of TV. How can I

17
00:00:54,720 --> 00:01:00,520
Speaker 1: ditch screens for myself? Any tips or tricks would be great. So,

18
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,040
Speaker 1: first off, really great that you've got the self awareness

19
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:05,319
Speaker 1: to be mindful of the fact that you are using

20
00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:06,600
Speaker 1: your screen too much. Wouldn't it be great if you

21
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:09,000
Speaker 1: had the regulation to match the awareness so that you

22
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,640
Speaker 1: could pull it back. And I love the fact that

23
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,040
Speaker 1: you've recognized the more that you're on your screen, the

24
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,800
Speaker 1: more that your kids are on theirs. Anonymous, thank you

25
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,679
Speaker 1: so much for the question. Let's have a look at

26
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,480
Speaker 1: some statistics before I step into some solutions. So digital

27
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,440
Speaker 1: is on the app from the We Are Social twenty

28
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:27,040
Speaker 1: twenty three Digital Report. Total population of Australia twenty six

29
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,560
Speaker 1: point three million, thirty two point seven of them are connected.

30
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,960
Speaker 1: To sell your mobile connections, let me say that again.

31
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,319
Speaker 1: We have a population of twenty six point three million,

32
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,039
Speaker 1: but we have thirty two point seven million mobile phones

33
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:43,520
Speaker 1: connected to the Internet. In other words, one hundred and

34
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,880
Speaker 1: twenty four point three percent of the population are connected.

35
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:49,160
Speaker 1: Some people have more than one mobile phone. In other words,

36
00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,360
Speaker 1: twenty five point three of the twenty six point three

37
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:56,680
Speaker 1: million recognized as Internet users based on adoption and use

38
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,560
Speaker 1: of connected devices and services, and twenty one point three

39
00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:03,480
Speaker 1: million actively using social media right now and in terms

40
00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,920
Speaker 1: of time on the most popular platforms Dart it's about

41
00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:10,520
Speaker 1: a year old now. Facebook seventeen hours and forty eight

42
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,800
Speaker 1: minutes per user per month, TikTok twenty nine hours, thirty

43
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,960
Speaker 1: six minutes per month. Again, this is all people sixteen

44
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,680
Speaker 1: to sixty four. We've got Instagram eight hours thirty six

45
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 1: a month, What's App five hours thirty six month, YouTube

46
00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:28,480
Speaker 1: seventeen hours per month as well. In other words, we

47
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,839
Speaker 1: are social, We are online a lot, and it can't

48
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:35,200
Speaker 1: not I know it's a double negative, but it can't

49
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,000
Speaker 1: not affect our relationships. Every time we click, every time

50
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,600
Speaker 1: we like, every time we swipe, every time we comment,

51
00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,560
Speaker 1: every time we share, we feed the algorithm and we

52
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,520
Speaker 1: tell the algorithm what to do to keep us there longer.

53
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,600
Speaker 1: This is such a big challenge. It's massive for our kids,

54
00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:52,880
Speaker 1: but it's huge for us as parents as well. So

55
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,800
Speaker 1: let me go through a handful of ideas that some

56
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:58,120
Speaker 1: I like, some I don't like. But these are ideas

57
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:02,320
Speaker 1: that I've used historically to reduce my phone usage because

58
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,520
Speaker 1: I am kind of addicted to it and these things

59
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,040
Speaker 1: have helped me. Number One, something as simple as sticking

60
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,280
Speaker 1: a hair tidy around the phone. When you do that

61
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,040
Speaker 1: and you put it right in the middle, it means

62
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,639
Speaker 1: that it's really easy to answer phone calls and sort

63
00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:16,959
Speaker 1: of swipe to the left or the right, and the

64
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,800
Speaker 1: bottom of the screen to pick up that call, but

65
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 1: you can't really use the phone for a whole lot more.

66
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,120
Speaker 1: Put a couple of hair tidies around it and promise

67
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,760
Speaker 1: yourself that you're not going to move them. It just

68
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:29,560
Speaker 1: makes swiping on the phone annoying. It's tedious, and it's

69
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,560
Speaker 1: a really quick fix. I don't think that it's the

70
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,640
Speaker 1: most helpful thing. It's pretty easy to get around, but

71
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,680
Speaker 1: you're increasing the friction and making it a bit harder

72
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,880
Speaker 1: to use the phone. Another one that's really common that

73
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,120
Speaker 1: I've also found to be not particularly helpful but everyone

74
00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:46,000
Speaker 1: raves about it is going grayscale, so making the telephone

75
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:49,360
Speaker 1: black and white. It's just not nice to use. Of course,

76
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,440
Speaker 1: then you don't like using it, and the whole idea

77
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:54,040
Speaker 1: is I want to use the thing, but obviously that's

78
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,760
Speaker 1: the issue. It's just that it's so easy to change

79
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,040
Speaker 1: it back. Here are some things that I have done, though,

80
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,320
Speaker 1: that I found to be really really helpful. Number one,

81
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,960
Speaker 1: delete apps. Like I've got a couple of apps that

82
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,840
Speaker 1: I have to use for social media for work, but

83
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,440
Speaker 1: I only use them when I'm doing work stuff. I

84
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,480
Speaker 1: simply post and walk away. I don't read the comments.

85
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,560
Speaker 1: I don't interact. I just post and walk away. So

86
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,719
Speaker 1: if I didn't have work, I would delete the apps

87
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,480
Speaker 1: completely and deleting the apps even if you don't want

88
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,520
Speaker 1: to delete them forever. Do an experiment. Just delete it

89
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,240
Speaker 1: for a week and see how your life feels. Watch

90
00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:29,000
Speaker 1: what happens. Another idea that I found to be incredibly helpful.

91
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,039
Speaker 1: In fact, this is probably my favorite of all the

92
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,240
Speaker 1: ideas that I can share with you, is to just

93
00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,880
Speaker 1: turn off notifications. When you turn off the notifications, maybe

94
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,400
Speaker 1: keep your SMS notifications on, but turn off your notifications

95
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:44,120
Speaker 1: for email, for any social media, for any and all apps.

96
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,880
Speaker 1: Just turn every notification off. You don't need another bell

97
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,800
Speaker 1: or whistle, another ping or beep to draw you back

98
00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:51,719
Speaker 1: to the phone just so that you can find out

99
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,200
Speaker 1: that somebody gave you kudos on Strava, or so that

100
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,000
Speaker 1: you can find out that a podcast has been uploaded.

101
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,560
Speaker 1: You just don't need the notifications. Turn them off, watch

102
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,720
Speaker 1: how it changes your life. Outside of that, The other

103
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,080
Speaker 1: thing that I found to be really helpful, and this

104
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,159
Speaker 1: is probably the last one that I mentioned, is creating

105
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,159
Speaker 1: tech free zones and tech free times. So I have

106
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,680
Speaker 1: this thing where I don't look at my phone for

107
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,000
Speaker 1: the first tan fifteen minutes when I wake up, and

108
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:15,440
Speaker 1: I don't look at my phone for the last ten

109
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,000
Speaker 1: or fifteen minutes before I go to bed. They're my

110
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 1: tech free times. No phones at the dinner table, that

111
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,920
Speaker 1: kind of thing. But also no phones in the bedroom.

112
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,280
Speaker 1: Or if I'm going to use a phone and it's

113
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,800
Speaker 1: after I don't know, I say eight pm, I have

114
00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:34,000
Speaker 1: to use it standing up in the corridor. So in

115
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,320
Speaker 1: winter time that's horrible. I don't want to stand up

116
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,200
Speaker 1: in the corridor on my phone. It's cold. I'd rather

117
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,320
Speaker 1: be in bed. And so having little rules like that

118
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,760
Speaker 1: it requires a bit of self regulation. It requires a

119
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:46,120
Speaker 1: bit of discipline, but it can really make a big difference. Anonymous.

120
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,719
Speaker 1: I hope that's helpful. Get off the device. Life is

121
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,760
Speaker 1: to be lived. You're not just here to be entertained

122
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,920
Speaker 1: and have the tech platforms tell you how to live

123
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,880
Speaker 1: for your life. There's so much more to life. Life

124
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,839
Speaker 1: is so rich when you can put the screen down.

125
00:05:56,839 --> 00:06:02,560
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for the question. Question number two.

126
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:07,000
Speaker 2: Hey, Justin and Kylie, my six year old neurodiverse son

127
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,960
Speaker 2: tends to find enough intelligence in his meltdowns to go

128
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,120
Speaker 2: for what is going to trigger my husband and I emotionally,

129
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:17,479
Speaker 2: I feel like my reactions drive the behavior, but I'm

130
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,599
Speaker 2: not sure how to stop.

131
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,320
Speaker 1: This is a tough question, and I really appreciate it.

132
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,560
Speaker 1: The issue of neurodiversity with a six year old knowing

133
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,320
Speaker 1: what they're doing, that is there's a little bit of

134
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,880
Speaker 1: malice here. There's a bit of a I reckon I

135
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,840
Speaker 1: can get one over my parents. Maybe there's some truth

136
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,960
Speaker 1: to that, but whether you having eurodivergent child or not

137
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:42,080
Speaker 1: is not particularly relevant. Kids just push our buttons, regardless

138
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:45,599
Speaker 1: of whether they're ADHD autistic or whether they're just kids

139
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,760
Speaker 1: being kids. One thing that we know is that I

140
00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,599
Speaker 1: don't wake up in the morning feeling like this is

141
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:54,080
Speaker 1: their opportunity to destroy our lives. What happens instead is

142
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,920
Speaker 1: they get caught up in the moment and their big

143
00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:59,279
Speaker 1: emotions start to drive behavior that is not healthy for them,

144
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:01,520
Speaker 1: it's not adapt for us, it doesn't make the family

145
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,159
Speaker 1: feel better. So a couple of quick ideas here to

146
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,040
Speaker 1: be helpful. Number One, you're in charge of your buttons.

147
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,680
Speaker 1: Often I'll hear parents say my kids don't respect my boundaries,

148
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,880
Speaker 1: and my response to that is perhaps a little bit

149
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,680
Speaker 1: of a bit a tough laugh. It's a bit of

150
00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:16,560
Speaker 1: that sort of build a bridge and get over it

151
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,760
Speaker 1: sort of stuff. But let me say it anyway, if

152
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,840
Speaker 1: your children are not respecting your boundaries, it's because you're

153
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,160
Speaker 1: not respecting your boundaries. You can't expect your kids to

154
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,360
Speaker 1: respect your boundaries if you don't, And if you respect

155
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,320
Speaker 1: your boundaries, they don't have any choice but to respect

156
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:34,000
Speaker 1: your boundaries because you're respecting your boundaries. So you are

157
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000
Speaker 1: the one who is in charge of boundaries. You're the

158
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,280
Speaker 1: one who's in charge of buttons. If there are buttons,

159
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,760
Speaker 1: they're yours. You look after them, you protect them. You

160
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,840
Speaker 1: make sure that kids know when they've gone too far.

161
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,600
Speaker 1: This can sometimes be a source of contention and frustration.

162
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,880
Speaker 1: So I want to emphasize by acknowledging this, it's not

163
00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,400
Speaker 1: meaning that you're going to turn into a big, mean, nasty,

164
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,920
Speaker 1: growling parent because the kids have gone too close to

165
00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,160
Speaker 1: your boundaries or buttons, but rather it's the whole that

166
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,120
Speaker 1: boundary really clearly, if a child pushes past the boundary,

167
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,760
Speaker 1: you make it really clear you've just gone too far,

168
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,880
Speaker 1: or that's a boundary that you are not to cross,

169
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:14,360
Speaker 1: or my limit is here, and you've pushed to this point,

170
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,480
Speaker 1: or you just say I won't be spoken to like

171
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,560
Speaker 1: that and you walk away. Now, obviously, if you're in

172
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,840
Speaker 1: a shopping center, you can't walk around your six year old,

173
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,920
Speaker 1: as much as you probably wish that you could. But

174
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,440
Speaker 1: usually this stuff doesn't happen with your six year old

175
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,080
Speaker 1: in the shopping center. It happens in the living room.

176
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,040
Speaker 1: Why because they feel like they're safe and they can

177
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:33,160
Speaker 1: get away with it there. Protect your boundaries, what'tch your buttons.

178
00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,520
Speaker 1: You're the one who decides what they're going to be,

179
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,320
Speaker 1: and you can hold them fairly closely and fairly safely

180
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:44,199
Speaker 1: without injuring or hurting or scaring anyone else. Second idea.

181
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,679
Speaker 1: Stephen Covey highlighted this in his book Seven Habits of

182
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,440
Speaker 1: Highly Effective People. It may have come from somewhere else,

183
00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:52,240
Speaker 1: don't know. He's the one that I always give credit

184
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,839
Speaker 1: to for the idea. He explains that there's a space

185
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,079
Speaker 1: between stimulus and response where we get to choose the

186
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,240
Speaker 1: way we're going to respond to the stimulus. So the

187
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,400
Speaker 1: stimulus is you're child having this meltdown, your child targeting you,

188
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:05,400
Speaker 1: pushing buttons, whatever it is. But you get to choose

189
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,600
Speaker 1: how you're going to respond. You can choose to blow up.

190
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,360
Speaker 1: You can choose to explode, you can choose to reprimand

191
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:14,040
Speaker 1: you can choose to get furious, or you can choose

192
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,560
Speaker 1: to get curious. You can choose to understand. You can

193
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,880
Speaker 1: choose to explore. You can choose to step away. You

194
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:20,959
Speaker 1: can choose to walk outside. You can choose to get

195
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,440
Speaker 1: some air. You can choose to breathe and close your eyes.

196
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,680
Speaker 1: You can choose your response. And you have the wonderful

197
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:30,360
Speaker 1: gift of imagination, you have the wonderful gift of conscience,

198
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,040
Speaker 1: and you have the wonderful gift of free will to

199
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,959
Speaker 1: be able to choose those things for yourself. So I

200
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,000
Speaker 1: would really strongly encourage you to just remember that whole

201
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,840
Speaker 1: stimulus response formula. In between the stimulus and response is

202
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:46,800
Speaker 1: a space to choose how you're going to act. Choose wisely.

203
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,960
Speaker 1: Third idea get enough sleep. Honestly, it's the number one

204
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,400
Speaker 1: thing you can do to be a better parent is

205
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,360
Speaker 1: to get enough sleep. You can take on the world

206
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,400
Speaker 1: when you have enough sleep. When you sleep deprived, anything

207
00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,160
Speaker 1: is going to push your buttons. Idea number fo or

208
00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,840
Speaker 1: work on getting your heart right. Sometimes we look at

209
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,360
Speaker 1: our kids and we've just decided we've prejudged them right,

210
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:10,080
Speaker 1: We've become prejudiced towards our children. Yeah, you're my adhd nightmare,

211
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,240
Speaker 1: you're this one or that one. Like I hear parents

212
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,040
Speaker 1: say this stuff every now and again. I've even said

213
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,840
Speaker 1: horrible things to my kids. Why because my heart wasn't

214
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,440
Speaker 1: right towards them. See the struggle. Look at the broader context.

215
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,120
Speaker 1: Remember that they're just little. They've got their l plates on,

216
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,600
Speaker 1: and in the case of a kid who's neurodiversion, it's

217
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:29,640
Speaker 1: making life even more challenging. So near adversity complicates things.

218
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:33,200
Speaker 1: Get your heart right Number five. I can't recommend this enough.

219
00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,520
Speaker 1: Get outside when things are blowing up, get outside, get

220
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,080
Speaker 1: into the yard, go for a walk in the street.

221
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,679
Speaker 1: There's something about being in nature that changes things. Reduce

222
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,679
Speaker 1: the pressure. Have a mantra. My mantra has always been

223
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,920
Speaker 1: I'm calm and kind. I'm calm and kind. I know

224
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,840
Speaker 1: plenty of other people with much more creative ones, but

225
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,640
Speaker 1: that one's worked for me. Another idea, picture an audience.

226
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,199
Speaker 1: Imagine somebody's watching you. We're always better behave when we've

227
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:58,400
Speaker 1: got an audience. Ultimately, This is on you. This is

228
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:04,160
Speaker 1: about pairing competence and pairing relationships and not feeling too trapped.

229
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,000
Speaker 1: So if we can, if we can feel confident what

230
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,400
Speaker 1: we're doing by using those skills, we can build better

231
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:12,240
Speaker 1: relationships and over time things will even out, things will

232
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,000
Speaker 1: feel better. Good luck. I know it's hard. Thanks so

233
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,160
Speaker 1: much for your questions Today, next Tuesday two more of

234
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,200
Speaker 1: your questions send us a voice note via happy families

235
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,480
Speaker 1: dot com dot you. Just click on the podcast link

236
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,120
Speaker 1: at happy families dot com dot you, push the record button,

237
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,720
Speaker 1: leave a voice note. It's that simple. Submit your questions

238
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,439
Speaker 1: happy families dot com dot au. The Happy Families podcast

239
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,080
Speaker 1: is produced by Justin Rawan from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce

240
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: is our executive producer. For more information about making your

241
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,520
Speaker 1: family happy, you'll find it at happy families dot com

242
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:47,000
Speaker 1: dot A. You