WEBVTT - How To Call Out Internalised Misogyny 😶 (Oop, We Went There🤭)

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<v Speaker 1>On Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. This is the

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. It is Flex and

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<v Speaker 1>Frooms on CATA. I've been having so many thoughts these days,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know how I am with the thoughts. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to share them because, as Frooms has observed,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm more sensitive with age. Yep. But I was thinking

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<v Speaker 1>to myself, if we want to be better friends and

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<v Speaker 1>have better friendships, we and I'm talking everybody within the

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<v Speaker 1>gender binary and outside, need to be better at addressing

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<v Speaker 1>our internalized misogyny. Ooh, she said it, and I'm saying

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<v Speaker 1>it again because the basis of a lot of female

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<v Speaker 1>friendships and how they're observed is this like safe, a

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<v Speaker 1>safe space to share, to honor, to accept, to empower

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<v Speaker 1>and to do all of these things. But we fam

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<v Speaker 1>to the type of doing in a bubble and not

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<v Speaker 1>doing it where it counts, doing when the stakes are

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<v Speaker 1>so low. You know, I'm going to empower you at

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<v Speaker 1>the girl's lunch on the weekend, but I'm not going

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<v Speaker 1>to empow in the office when I know you're being

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<v Speaker 1>taken advantage of. And I'm not going to empower you,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, in your relationships when I know that you're

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<v Speaker 1>degrading yourself for someone else's attention. Women who experience internalized

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<v Speaker 1>misogyny may express it through minimizing the value of women,

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<v Speaker 1>mistrusting women, or believing a gender bias in favor of men. Yes, right,

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<v Speaker 1>And so I came across the story of girls talking

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<v Speaker 1>about her boyfriend used to drive her to work, drive

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<v Speaker 1>her car around all day, do whatever he wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>pick her up from work, but then make her feel

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<v Speaker 1>out the tank right, And she was talking about how

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<v Speaker 1>she felt as though it was an active service because

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<v Speaker 1>he was driving her around. But then when she had

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<v Speaker 1>raised the fact like I can't keep forking out hundred

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<v Speaker 1>of dollars a week in petrol, he was like, but

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<v Speaker 1>why why, Like you know, you're being selfish and she

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't advocate for herself, And then talked about how she

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<v Speaker 1>lost a bunch of friendships because their friends were calling

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<v Speaker 1>it out and saying, hey, babe, like this is not

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<v Speaker 1>appropriate conduct, and she's like, you don't know my man,

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<v Speaker 1>like you know my man La Da Lah lost a

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<v Speaker 1>bunch of friendships, the guy cheated on her breakup. Whatever.

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<v Speaker 1>What was worse than the store was the comments so

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<v Speaker 1>many other women being like, oh my god, I went

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<v Speaker 1>through a similar thing of this whole like this guy

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<v Speaker 1>taking my resources or putting me in a position where

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<v Speaker 1>I felt mistrust well of my friends give me advice

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<v Speaker 1>on how I wasn't being treated fairly, etceterattce. It's not

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<v Speaker 1>unusual for women, especially we're not all people. Let's just

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<v Speaker 1>talk about being women to hold their friends to impossible

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<v Speaker 1>standards and hold the men around them to these minis

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<v Speaker 1>skill standards, or to make excuses for the men around them,

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<v Speaker 1>or if we don't even sent to men into this conversation,

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<v Speaker 1>to not appreciate, to not empower, to not platform the

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<v Speaker 1>women in their lives like they would the men, to

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<v Speaker 1>not go the distance or go the journey with the

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<v Speaker 1>women in their lives that they would with the deadbeats

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<v Speaker 1>that are on the fringe. And it's a very dangerous

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<v Speaker 1>thing because I feel like how we treat the women

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<v Speaker 1>around them as a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>if you view women as inherently mistrustful or not as

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<v Speaker 1>skill or not as capable, you have to check it

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<v Speaker 1>because it's a very scary thing to see when it

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<v Speaker 1>creeps up on you and you're like, oh, damn oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm one of them. I'm doing that thing that I

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<v Speaker 1>thought I was above. And it's not about not being

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<v Speaker 1>above it. It's about just clocking it in a way

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<v Speaker 1>and clocking in your friends as well, in a way

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<v Speaker 1>that makes you safe enough to share and do better.

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<v Speaker 1>The solution you either need to hold the other people

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<v Speaker 1>in your life to higher standards as high as you

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<v Speaker 1>do your peers and your friends, or give your friends

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<v Speaker 1>a break. That's on that miss you already your Flexing

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<v Speaker 1>Frooms babe, you've been listening to the Flexing Frooms Daily podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.