Speaker 1: On Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms. This is the
Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. It is Flex and
Speaker 1: Frooms on CATA. I've been having so many thoughts these days,
Speaker 1: and you know how I am with the thoughts. I
Speaker 1: don't want to share them because, as Frooms has observed,
Speaker 1: I'm more sensitive with age. Yep. But I was thinking
Speaker 1: to myself, if we want to be better friends and
Speaker 1: have better friendships, we and I'm talking everybody within the
Speaker 1: gender binary and outside, need to be better at addressing
Speaker 1: our internalized misogyny. Ooh, she said it, and I'm saying
Speaker 1: it again because the basis of a lot of female
Speaker 1: friendships and how they're observed is this like safe, a
Speaker 1: safe space to share, to honor, to accept, to empower
Speaker 1: and to do all of these things. But we fam
Speaker 1: to the type of doing in a bubble and not
Speaker 1: doing it where it counts, doing when the stakes are
Speaker 1: so low. You know, I'm going to empower you at
Speaker 1: the girl's lunch on the weekend, but I'm not going
Speaker 1: to empow in the office when I know you're being
Speaker 1: taken advantage of. And I'm not going to empower you,
Speaker 1: you know, in your relationships when I know that you're
Speaker 1: degrading yourself for someone else's attention. Women who experience internalized
Speaker 1: misogyny may express it through minimizing the value of women,
Speaker 1: mistrusting women, or believing a gender bias in favor of men. Yes, right,
Speaker 1: And so I came across the story of girls talking
Speaker 1: about her boyfriend used to drive her to work, drive
Speaker 1: her car around all day, do whatever he wanted to
Speaker 1: pick her up from work, but then make her feel
Speaker 1: out the tank right, And she was talking about how
Speaker 1: she felt as though it was an active service because
Speaker 1: he was driving her around. But then when she had
Speaker 1: raised the fact like I can't keep forking out hundred
Speaker 1: of dollars a week in petrol, he was like, but
Speaker 1: why why, Like you know, you're being selfish and she
Speaker 1: couldn't advocate for herself, And then talked about how she
Speaker 1: lost a bunch of friendships because their friends were calling
Speaker 1: it out and saying, hey, babe, like this is not
Speaker 1: appropriate conduct, and she's like, you don't know my man,
Speaker 1: like you know my man La Da Lah lost a
Speaker 1: bunch of friendships, the guy cheated on her breakup. Whatever.
Speaker 1: What was worse than the store was the comments so
Speaker 1: many other women being like, oh my god, I went
Speaker 1: through a similar thing of this whole like this guy
Speaker 1: taking my resources or putting me in a position where
Speaker 1: I felt mistrust well of my friends give me advice
Speaker 1: on how I wasn't being treated fairly, etceterattce. It's not
Speaker 1: unusual for women, especially we're not all people. Let's just
Speaker 1: talk about being women to hold their friends to impossible
Speaker 1: standards and hold the men around them to these minis
Speaker 1: skill standards, or to make excuses for the men around them,
Speaker 1: or if we don't even sent to men into this conversation,
Speaker 1: to not appreciate, to not empower, to not platform the
Speaker 1: women in their lives like they would the men, to
Speaker 1: not go the distance or go the journey with the
Speaker 1: women in their lives that they would with the deadbeats
Speaker 1: that are on the fringe. And it's a very dangerous
Speaker 1: thing because I feel like how we treat the women
Speaker 1: around them as a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Yes,
Speaker 1: if you view women as inherently mistrustful or not as
Speaker 1: skill or not as capable, you have to check it
Speaker 1: because it's a very scary thing to see when it
Speaker 1: creeps up on you and you're like, oh, damn oh,
Speaker 1: I'm one of them. I'm doing that thing that I
Speaker 1: thought I was above. And it's not about not being
Speaker 1: above it. It's about just clocking it in a way
Speaker 1: and clocking in your friends as well, in a way
Speaker 1: that makes you safe enough to share and do better.
Speaker 1: The solution you either need to hold the other people
Speaker 1: in your life to higher standards as high as you
Speaker 1: do your peers and your friends, or give your friends
Speaker 1: a break. That's on that miss you already your Flexing
Speaker 1: Frooms babe, you've been listening to the Flexing Frooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.