Speaker 1: Falling apart over here.
Speaker 2: Oh fucking right back at.
Speaker 1: You falling apart. I'm still sick. I've got heartburn from
Speaker 1: last night, and i also have a hammer woid. I reckon.
Speaker 2: What a lucky lady April is. But you got me sick?
Speaker 1: Fuck off? I did you got me sick? Mate? You
Speaker 1: got everyone sick. No.
Speaker 2: Last time we recorded, You're so breathy in the record. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we crammed into that table at your place. I hopped
Speaker 2: in the car we finished going, it'll be a miracle
Speaker 2: if I don't get on well from this record.
Speaker 1: I wasn't contagious. We know.
Speaker 2: We definitely shouldn't have fucked afterwards as well. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: didn't help.
Speaker 1: Thought, come he's going to do it.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Doting Dad. I'm a very sick Mattie
Speaker 2: Jay and I'm Ash. And this is a podcast that
Speaker 2: is all about parenting, the.
Speaker 1: Good, the bad, and the relatable.
Speaker 2: And we just want to say the front end of
Speaker 2: this episode that if you are hoping to get any
Speaker 2: type of advice, there is absolutely none to be given whatsoever.
Speaker 1: Zero.
Speaker 2: And I also want to say that Ash and I
Speaker 2: are currently nursing what some may call a small hangover.
Speaker 1: Not me, mate, and I don't get them. I'm just sick.
Speaker 2: You are a little like even when you blink, there's
Speaker 2: pain and.
Speaker 1: It's like a slow blink.
Speaker 2: There was a football game.
Speaker 1: There was a football game last night.
Speaker 2: It was a Grand Final and we're recording this on
Speaker 2: a Monday morning. So this is post graand Final and
Speaker 2: it's a very sad day, not just because we're unwell,
Speaker 2: but because the Broncos unfortunately.
Speaker 1: Didn't get the w did They didn't when you were
Speaker 1: on track to get it. And you can't give them
Speaker 1: an inch, mate, No we can't.
Speaker 2: And we spoke about it last week that I had
Speaker 2: received a ticket to the Grand Final Ash hadn't, and
Speaker 2: you said this, Ash.
Speaker 1: I guarantee you I'll be there on Sunday. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: have like a weird got away.
Speaker 2: You're like you're just a magnet. And what happened was
Speaker 2: I got a phone call from a lovely lady who
Speaker 2: works at the Brisbane Broncos. She's like the media manager,
Speaker 2: and she said, I have two VIP tickets to the match.
Speaker 2: Keeping in mind I already had a ticket with producer Keisha.
Speaker 2: I did offer her the VIP tickets. She strikes again,
Speaker 2: politely declined, and then I called up none other the.
Speaker 1: Cat they call me always land on my feet. Don't
Speaker 1: know how I do it every every time. I just
Speaker 1: pulled through.
Speaker 2: You didn't even want it either, like it like obviously
Speaker 2: you'd accept, But it wasn't like you were out searching
Speaker 2: for it.
Speaker 1: No. I was like, Oh, I do the right thing,
Speaker 1: my boys. The worst thing I could possibly do is
Speaker 1: go to a football gaming yellets and punters. But look,
Speaker 1: an opportunity comes out.
Speaker 2: Do you know what it's like? Ash, It's like, imagine
Speaker 2: it's the gold Rush era. Yeah, Okay, everyone's digging, working hard,
Speaker 2: trying to find the gold.
Speaker 1: I just mosey on it, like there's a piece of gold.
Speaker 1: I'll take that. Actually, no, I don't want it. Okay,
Speaker 1: Oh have it?
Speaker 2: How big is that nugget? Oh it's the biggest ever discovered. Anyway.
Speaker 1: Sitting in the CEO's box at the NRL Grand Final.
Speaker 2: We went to the pre game player send off, which
Speaker 2: was quite nice.
Speaker 1: I love that we were there and they were like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're meant to be in this section where all the
Speaker 1: food and stuff is. We're just out with all the
Speaker 1: punt Like, yeah, what is this?
Speaker 2: We didn't really know what we were in for. And
Speaker 2: Jimmy a lovely actor on Home and Away?
Speaker 1: Who does he play on Home and Away?
Speaker 2: A character called Justin Morgan?
Speaker 1: Right? Is he one of the what do they call
Speaker 1: him the Riverside Boys or something?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I should know the answer to this question.
Speaker 2: I don't. He looks too squeaky clean, he's very polished.
Speaker 2: He's a fucking handsome young man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was not young though, he just looks young.
Speaker 2: He's holy shit, his.
Speaker 1: Forties, mate, what is he fifty? Shut up? If he's fifty,
Speaker 1: a fuck off.
Speaker 2: I have a guess how old he forty nine, forty seven?
Speaker 1: Wow, he looks great.
Speaker 2: He looked good, looks great.
Speaker 1: I would have thought like forty forty two, forty three, maybe.
Speaker 2: Looks unbelievably good. Also a doting dad, yes, a scout.
Speaker 2: I believe his daughter eleven years old.
Speaker 1: Yeah? Good.
Speaker 2: We might have to get him on the podcast. I
Speaker 2: didn't know if we should, Like, as we were talking parenting.
Speaker 1: We need to have like any executive decision on whether
Speaker 1: to get him on or not? Not not? Should we?
Speaker 2: No, I'm more for it. So we had a lovely
Speaker 2: pre game send off for the players all looking handsome.
Speaker 2: At that point, I was feeling great.
Speaker 1: You're very confident, very confident, and as you should have been,
Speaker 1: Like I said, that was your game.
Speaker 2: Well, I looked at Reese Welsh and if anyone's not
Speaker 2: familiar with what he's like as a.
Speaker 1: Parentel down, and.
Speaker 2: Ash looked over and I was in the corner covering
Speaker 2: in my own scene. I let that meme.
Speaker 1: From just South South Park me.
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, Ash was looking around because anyone's seeing
Speaker 2: Maddie j And I'm like in the corner, excuse me
Speaker 2: for one second as I douse myself and my own semen.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I didn't like about that?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 1: Because as we were just talking about before, I've been
Speaker 1: so sick, I've just been paracetamol aspirin. My guts are
Speaker 1: a bit hey you going, And we're in such a quiet,
Speaker 1: tight knit spot, confined to a fine hotel lobby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we couldn't let him rip because it'd be obvious it's
Speaker 1: me the guy looks sickly. And I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: like afterwards, I like mosied over to where the reception
Speaker 1: was and just and moses back, just so that I
Speaker 1: could get one out.
Speaker 2: It was air conned in the foyer and you were
Speaker 2: like already beads of sweat coming down your brow. You
Speaker 2: had a bag, a little ziplock bag full of paracetamol,
Speaker 2: and like menthoalss and excusing yourself to fart in the corners.
Speaker 1: But I still I still got there.
Speaker 2: Can I just say the biggest surprise of the entire
Speaker 2: day slash evening. We walked from so where the players
Speaker 2: get their send off. It's maybe like a kilometer or
Speaker 2: less from the stadium. So we walk over to the
Speaker 2: stadium and I'm looking around and I'm like, oh, where the.
Speaker 1: Fuck is Ash gone?
Speaker 2: I look behind me and you're shaking hands with the
Speaker 2: Prime Minister. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: It was so funny because he was like talking just
Speaker 1: like some young boy, you know, And I was like,
Speaker 1: holy shit. His security detail is quite masculine, quite tall,
Speaker 1: and I was like that weren't they. So I was
Speaker 1: like to him, I was like, you're protecting this bloke
Speaker 1: like I had, like I was mates with Elbow, and
Speaker 1: albow turns around. I was like, mate, I just want
Speaker 1: to shake.
Speaker 2: And was it like did you go for a slow shake,
Speaker 2: like because if you like coming for a fast shake
Speaker 2: you might get chicken wing down.
Speaker 1: I went in for the like the full hand slap
Speaker 1: light like we were like we were mates, and he
Speaker 1: was like, good to see you mate.
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, have a.
Speaker 1: Good night, and like carried on and then I went
Speaker 1: past the security detail before and I was like, you're
Speaker 1: a big motherfucker, right, and he was like only the
Speaker 1: biggest mate. Only it was like he was just like
Speaker 1: a good bloke.
Speaker 2: But do you reckon? They look at you, and you reckon,
Speaker 2: they do like a quick little risk assessment, a low risk.
Speaker 2: This guy panting wheezy, he's so weaky Gussie.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I'm more of a bio hazard, but
Speaker 1: I know it was good to meet the promise and
Speaker 1: so elbow if you're listening.
Speaker 2: And if he's sick right now, sorry bro, if he's
Speaker 2: waking up with a husky like.
Speaker 1: I just loved how everyone opened the door for him
Speaker 1: like very like grounded. But then he'd be like all
Speaker 1: right back into his suite and they just like opened
Speaker 1: the door and security detail followed him, and I was like, fuck,
Speaker 1: imagine what the President of the United States.
Speaker 2: To be like, Yeah, that's our version is such a warded.
Speaker 1: Down I know, but you know, if we went to
Speaker 1: the States, all of a sudden, you turn around and
Speaker 1: I'll be shaking hands. Fu did he do that?
Speaker 2: But we got really lucky because obviously we were there
Speaker 2: like we were and not I don't want to make
Speaker 2: it sound like we're turning our own horn here. However,
Speaker 2: we got invited in the end into the box, which
Speaker 2: was like the CEO of the prison Broncos. Like again Ashwicks, the.
Speaker 1: Cat slithered, the snake slithered my way.
Speaker 2: In the king Cat. And at one point, for anyone
Speaker 2: who doesn't know, Broncos are up like eighteen points.
Speaker 1: Oh h.
Speaker 2: And at that point everyone where we were sitting, everybody
Speaker 2: was hugging, we were kissing random.
Speaker 1: P Everyone's now sick.
Speaker 2: But like there was a point where they were like, hey,
Speaker 2: after the game, everyone's going to come back into the
Speaker 2: chain rooms and like we're already talking about the celebrations
Speaker 2: and I'm like, wow, are we going to party all night?
Speaker 1: We might have to cancel the podcast, And just like
Speaker 1: that it turned into a funeral. It was the box.
Speaker 2: The box is empty except for you, me and like
Speaker 2: two other people.
Speaker 1: And I was just eating Gormet party pies, just like
Speaker 1: there's that video of me and you're like filming me
Speaker 1: like nothing's happened, because obviously that's not my team. But
Speaker 1: like I was there for the Broncos.
Speaker 2: I think you had like two chicken strips, a couple
Speaker 2: of meek.
Speaker 1: Piles, Like how can you eat at a time like this?
Speaker 1: I was like, 's gonna eat?
Speaker 2: Man? It was a time of morning. I'm just just
Speaker 2: chaing out like the table.
Speaker 1: That's why I got hart. It's funny because I was like,
Speaker 1: I was in bed last night and I must have
Speaker 1: let out a burp in my sleep. It's stung all
Speaker 1: these like gourmet meat piles. Actually, I feel like a
Speaker 1: meat pie now I've said that.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. But yeah, we after the game at
Speaker 2: one of the hotels. They have like a postgame function
Speaker 2: mostly for you know, the met It's called a wake.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: People in attendance are like the members, a lot of staff,
Speaker 2: and it was very very somber.
Speaker 1: It was. It was a tough crowd. Yeah, it's like,
Speaker 1: should just get up and say something?
Speaker 2: I was like, someone needs to break the ice here.
Speaker 1: That's going to get up and say something? What are
Speaker 1: you going to go on a thirty.
Speaker 2: Hello for those of you who don't know me. I'm
Speaker 2: Maddie Jay.
Speaker 1: I've got voice. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I came home and I did the.
Speaker 1: Old set, choked off on the couch, went sleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's minus the jerk off.
Speaker 1: That's a shame.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm just going to rest my eyes
Speaker 2: for one second, and then I fell asleep. Woke up
Speaker 2: at three point thirty and I was like, fuck, had
Speaker 2: a quick shower because I was feeling and then I
Speaker 2: lay in bed, and then I was about to go
Speaker 2: to sleep, and then I just had this reoccurring thought,
Speaker 2: how the fuck did we lose the Grand Final? And
Speaker 2: I lay in bed for like two hours, just like
Speaker 2: we were three tries up.
Speaker 1: How And the thing is, I said, Ezra Man will
Speaker 1: win this game, and he scores a hat trick. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I fucking call that. And then King Cleary just came
Speaker 1: and wipe the floor with it.
Speaker 2: And absolutely sucks. My poor neighbor, let's call it Barbara.
Speaker 2: She hates it when I leave the lights on because
Speaker 2: it goes straight into her so her bedroom right behind
Speaker 2: me upstairs, lights downstairs like and sleep on the couch
Speaker 2: and lights like the whole house lights on. And I
Speaker 2: walked out this morning to get a coffee and she
Speaker 2: was like, how good was the Panthers match last night?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh.
Speaker 2: Then she was like, you have a big night. Noticed
Speaker 2: there was all the lights on at three a m.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, sorry, Barbara, not now.
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up. O. Can't you see I'm morning, Barbara.
Speaker 2: But that is the end of the NFL season.
Speaker 1: That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. And look,
Speaker 1: I'm kind of glad. I'm exhausted. I don't know how
Speaker 1: the players are feeling.
Speaker 2: Although now that we're in not only with the Prime
Speaker 2: Minister but with the Bristol Broncos, we're in the thick
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right in the middle of it.
Speaker 2: Who knows where it will be next season.
Speaker 1: I tend to find when I go to these things,
Speaker 1: they never invite me back, like one hit wonder I know,
Speaker 1: I just like get too lit up. Anyway, Matthew, that's
Speaker 1: enough of Grand Finals. I'm sure that people were sick
Speaker 1: of it. I wanted to talk to you today about
Speaker 1: disciplining your children. We do touch on this here and there.
Speaker 2: Can I just ask you quickly, ash before we get
Speaker 2: into how you discipline your children, will you ever smacked
Speaker 2: as a child.
Speaker 1: Actually, it's funny. I ask that because someone asked me
Speaker 1: that question, and I think I was definitely threatened to
Speaker 1: be smacked, but I don't recall. Oh no, yeah I
Speaker 1: was smacked. Yeah, now I think about it. We were talking
Speaker 1: about this yesterday. Yeah, that's right. Jimmy was asking this question,
Speaker 1: wasn't he. Yeah, yeah, the third doting dad now because
Speaker 1: I was, you're a wooden spoon.
Speaker 2: I was a wooden spoon, and my poor mother nowadays
Speaker 2: we're like, do you remember you used to hit us
Speaker 2: with a wooden spoon?
Speaker 1: And she's like did I just suppressed that?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I have a memory of you breaking
Speaker 2: a wooden.
Speaker 1: I wonder how many people he's the kids one on.
Speaker 1: How many people now have realized that they were hit
Speaker 1: as kids and sued their parents now as adults.
Speaker 2: Let's do it, Ellie Johnson, if you had any money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I was a wooden spoon kid too. But
Speaker 1: I was saying yesterday, once I hit the wooden spoon
Speaker 1: and Mum comes out with a hard plastic spoon, not
Speaker 1: one of those flimsy came up. Like I'm talking like
Speaker 1: hard fucking plastic and that thing thing fucking hurt Stills.
Speaker 2: But we turned out fine. But obviously nowadays he's that
Speaker 2: type of behavior you can't do that no longer warranted.
Speaker 1: It's not warranted. It's kind of like illegal. Sorry, it's illegal.
Speaker 2: So how do you dis if you can't take to
Speaker 2: them with a kitchen utensil? How do you discipline your children?
Speaker 1: Actually just hit him with the car? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: obviously not half for those listening, two different ways. Because
Speaker 1: I've got a boy or girl, discipline is different. So
Speaker 1: with Oscar there's a lot of like goad your room
Speaker 1: or like he's also older, but Macy coming up, young,
Speaker 1: Macy coming up. We haven't quite figured out what works
Speaker 1: best in terms of.
Speaker 2: Because she's super cheap, like her personality type.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's super cheeky.
Speaker 2: Okay, asking you like you take his toys?
Speaker 1: Yeah, he hates it. I'll be like, look, I'm taking
Speaker 1: this monster track and I'll hide it. I said, when
Speaker 1: you are good enough, you'll get it back. If he's really,
Speaker 1: really bad, it's straight to the bin. I one time
Speaker 1: we were upstairs and there's a balcony off our bedroom
Speaker 1: and he was just being an absolute turd. So I
Speaker 1: just took the car out of his hand and fucking
Speaker 1: launched it out the balcony door onto the road, hit
Speaker 1: by car. Done. It's like, it's just like something out
Speaker 1: of the movie. It was great, She's like a hot
Speaker 1: was car see you later, And it was like, how
Speaker 1: do you react to that? I'll meltdown. But he didn't
Speaker 1: act like that again. But I know that was the
Speaker 1: wrong thing to do because I was like, that was fucked.
Speaker 2: In the heat of the moment of the moment, it
Speaker 2: was just sometimes your emotions get the better of you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, Usually what works with him is, oh, so
Speaker 1: if you don't stop or whatever, you do that again,
Speaker 1: I'm going to take the current toy that's the favorite,
Speaker 1: and then you'll have to earn it back. Usually works,
Speaker 1: Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you thinks I'm bluffing and so
Speaker 1: it's going to go on the bin or I pretended
Speaker 1: to go in the bin. But with Macy, we haven't
Speaker 1: quite worked it out yet because she's at that age
Speaker 1: where she can't fully talk. She can say words here
Speaker 1: or there. She understands things like do you want this,
Speaker 1: and she'd be like yeah, yeah, but she doesn't understand
Speaker 1: the no, don't do that and She's so cheeky with Oscar,
Speaker 1: Like she'll walk up and like pick up something and
Speaker 1: run away with it.
Speaker 2: She's a little sign assassine. Whenever I see her, She's
Speaker 2: so sweet and innocent, and then I'm like, where the
Speaker 2: fuck are my car keys? And I look out the
Speaker 2: window and she's just driving and she's like.
Speaker 1: See a bitch. We've tried a couple, Like, obviously if
Speaker 1: I get a stern voice. She didn't take it seriously.
Speaker 1: She doesn't know that that's what that means.
Speaker 2: Lola is a bit like that. Laura tries to say,
Speaker 2: do not do that.
Speaker 1: Lola starts yeah, literally, yeah, Maysy, you'll smile back at me.
Speaker 1: And it's infuriating. But we did try something which look,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to say it worked or it didn't work.
Speaker 1: It didn't backfire either. It was just it was too
Speaker 1: cute that we just started laughing. So we did it.
Speaker 1: We're like, let's try the naughty corner.
Speaker 2: What did she do to warrant the naughty corner?
Speaker 1: Oh? She hit Oscar with a content She had a container,
Speaker 1: sorry Oscar, and he was down on the ground with
Speaker 1: his monster truckt and she just went bop on the
Speaker 1: top of the head, like yeah, yeah, it made an
Speaker 1: annoy and she knew it. She was like, she's smiling. Bag.
Speaker 1: I was like, right, I'm gonna try this in the corner,
Speaker 1: naughty corner.
Speaker 2: Where's the nordy corner.
Speaker 1: It's just like where the dog bowl is. Anyway, I'll
Speaker 1: show you this video because it is like the cutest.
Speaker 1: I couldn't start like, I was like, fuck, I have
Speaker 1: to film this. Don't turn around. You stand there and
Speaker 1: think about what you've done, and Oscars just love.
Speaker 2: He's like this is awesome. It's not me for once.
Speaker 1: But she a couple of times, I'm like, off to
Speaker 1: the naughty on it, and she'll take herself to the
Speaker 1: nooid on it, and but she'll be like, keep looking
Speaker 1: back at me.
Speaker 2: How long is she going to stay there? For? Not long?
Speaker 1: And then that's the day. But she went for two reasons.
Speaker 1: One reason was that time when she's hit Oscar and
Speaker 1: I said, you say sorry to Oscar. She'll walk up
Speaker 1: and like Patty in my that's super cute as well,
Speaker 1: And again I'm like, I can't take this seriously. And
Speaker 1: then one time she did something else. What did she do?
Speaker 1: I can't remember, but it wasn't to anyone, but it
Speaker 1: was just naughty behavior. And she did it and then
Speaker 1: she did it again, and I was like, off to
Speaker 1: the naughty corner, silly me. I say sorry, but thinking
Speaker 1: that she knew what that meant. Like I could say
Speaker 1: that to Oscar and he would say sorry, sorry, and
Speaker 1: he just walks up to Oscar, who's got nothing to
Speaker 1: do with it, and starts patting him.
Speaker 2: On the show.
Speaker 1: Anyway, So that's the approach I've taken for now, and
Speaker 1: I'll keep you updated. But it was just like I
Speaker 1: could not talk about it's so cute.
Speaker 2: Do you know what they do with daycare? Which kind
Speaker 2: of works with Marley Lola, like similar scenario. She's too
Speaker 2: young to understand what any of this means. But Marley's
Speaker 2: so emotional, like she like she's such a it.
Speaker 1: Just comes out of him, right, Yeah, but she also.
Speaker 2: Like hates to disappoint mom and dad, like mum and
Speaker 2: dad upset, and so we do this thing.
Speaker 1: I wonder who's set that standard. Matthew, don't disappoint me.
Speaker 2: But if we say to her, what you're doing right now,
Speaker 2: it empties my cup, empty my bucket. It's empty my bucket.
Speaker 1: To manipulate this child, and it's pretty red.
Speaker 2: She understands, she gets that. But the other end of
Speaker 2: the spectrum, if she does something really good, I'm like,
Speaker 2: you're feeling my cup or you're feeling my bucket one
Speaker 2: of the other. And she sometimes I'm like, my cup
Speaker 2: is full, and I fucking laugh that. And then when
Speaker 2: I so she's misbehaving and she's like in that little
Speaker 2: like she's wild and hysterical and won't get it. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to get a dress, and I'm just like, you're
Speaker 2: emptying my cup right now, and it stops her in
Speaker 2: the track.
Speaker 1: It's such like a first child things who I've noticed
Speaker 1: that like everyone talks about with your first child, because
Speaker 1: now you've got a second child, you've got to refill
Speaker 1: the first child's cup one way or another. Right when
Speaker 1: we had Macy and we did in the hospital had
Speaker 1: like a little program still there and they talk about
Speaker 1: just fill that cup. However they needed to be filled,
Speaker 1: even if you give them a cuddle and just do
Speaker 1: not let them go until they're like at a point
Speaker 1: where they're like like trying to get out. It's like
Speaker 1: you've shown them that you have the time for them. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's crazy, like I suppose like can you have
Speaker 1: picked up on that?
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I don't know how to parents, so
Speaker 2: I'm like, what are you guys up to? You guys
Speaker 2: do it quick question on daycare? Whenever I pick up
Speaker 2: the girls, they always kind of throw out the like
Speaker 2: Lola had a really good day?
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah? Did they really?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm like, ah, like has she ever had a
Speaker 2: bad day? They only like only if she's like on
Speaker 2: the brink of death with illness. How they been like, oh,
Speaker 2: she was a bit quiet. But every day they're like, shit,
Speaker 2: a great day.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. I think it's part of the training.
Speaker 2: It's just like they have to say that, right yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they still want you to pay money
Speaker 1: for them to go. They view every day they're like, look,
Speaker 1: not a great day, just we just went. It was
Speaker 1: like when Oscar was sick and he was just laying
Speaker 1: around everywhere, like the teacher there was like he was
Speaker 1: off today, He's not usually.
Speaker 2: Like but then she's like, but he had a great day.
Speaker 1: But he had a great day? Did he did? He
Speaker 1: he was at home all day?
Speaker 2: Hey, Ash, do you remember last week's episode?
Speaker 1: We don't recall is the one where I just was asking,
Speaker 1: is fucking people had to listen to me panting into
Speaker 1: the microphone.
Speaker 2: I've forgotten what an episode sounds like. Well, we're not
Speaker 2: sounding like this?
Speaker 1: Is it? Is it that we're working too hard, we're
Speaker 1: working too hard, we're parenting too hard, we're parenting too hard,
Speaker 1: that our wives are listening.
Speaker 2: I'm exhausted, give us a very very tired. But one
Speaker 2: of the listening questions was how can you tell if
Speaker 2: someone is going to be a good day?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we joked and we said that the great.
Speaker 2: I've had a couple more submissions because you know, I
Speaker 2: don't know for sure, but I'm assuming we may have
Speaker 2: a few listeners being female who you know, thinking about
Speaker 2: potentially starting a family with their partner.
Speaker 1: Maybe are we going to provide some help?
Speaker 2: That's what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1: Are you going to rattle these off me? I've got
Speaker 1: a couple them off to me and I want to
Speaker 1: react to them. Is that cool? Please? So? Do you
Speaker 1: get much?
Speaker 2: Tons? I love that, Tons.
Speaker 1: It was so funny that the way that we wrap
Speaker 1: that around getting your cars such a general maintenance thing
Speaker 1: to do with something that you'd spend all this month.
Speaker 2: Because the obvious one, right is, you know if he's caring.
Speaker 2: If he's caring, you see what he's like with other kids.
Speaker 2: Obviously that's a great.
Speaker 1: Walking around playgrounds beating kids up, or.
Speaker 2: Like going to playgrounds and trying to play with kids
Speaker 2: that aren't.
Speaker 1: His that's the bar is very low.
Speaker 2: The bar is extremely low.
Speaker 1: And we didn't set the bar the boomers, the boom.
Speaker 2: Blame the boomers. But these days, like if he's not
Speaker 2: let's say, if there's no other family members, you have
Speaker 2: young kids, you're not seeing him interact with any other kids,
Speaker 2: and you think, gosh, what can I look out for
Speaker 2: that is going to show me that he's going to
Speaker 2: be a great parent. We have some signs, so people take.
Speaker 1: Note on me.
Speaker 2: Number one, this is how to tell us someone is
Speaker 2: going to be a good dad. He packs his own
Speaker 2: lunch for work, something that I used to do back
Speaker 2: in the day.
Speaker 1: So much care little lunch bag. So true, because you
Speaker 1: could could I would just be like, I'll just kiss
Speaker 1: something when i'm there. But packing your kids lunch is
Speaker 1: one thing, But then packing your own lunch as a
Speaker 1: fully grown man.
Speaker 2: If he's bringing like a little snack and a ham
Speaker 2: sandwich fucking get pregnant right now?
Speaker 1: Is he an apprentice?
Speaker 2: Like? What the heck's going on here?
Speaker 1: But that's good?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, he's another one if he has undies that
Speaker 2: haven't totally fallen apart and have holes in it, which
Speaker 2: again bar is very low. If he wears clothing that
Speaker 2: is not half destroyed.
Speaker 1: What is it about. It's just such a basic hygiene
Speaker 1: to just replace your underpants. But like as man like
Speaker 1: April will replace her underplant underplants underpants regularly. April's like,
Speaker 1: are you still wearing these? And they're like a big
Speaker 1: fucking hole and scratched my arse off. Look, if the
Speaker 1: guy can buy a new underpants, he's going to be
Speaker 1: an excellent dad.
Speaker 2: If he doesn't piss all over the toilet seat, also
Speaker 2: a great sign.
Speaker 1: He's got good aim then too.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean not to judge those who have extended
Speaker 2: four skins.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, six skins. That is how six skins
Speaker 1: brothers out there? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And okay, this one, this one I'm not sure about.
Speaker 2: But she submitted it and she said, this is how
Speaker 2: I can tell. She says, if he lets you eat
Speaker 2: off his plate. Oh yeah, like, I guess sharing food
Speaker 2: I guess maybe because that's like a generous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you don't want to be like she goes
Speaker 1: to get something off your plate.
Speaker 2: And like, ah, I'm a bit like I mean, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm a bit like Bay, get your own.
Speaker 1: But also like if she's like, can I have a bed?
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, okay, so we are like molding together.
Speaker 2: What great dads look like pre kids?
Speaker 1: Okay, so between us we could be one good dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I mean I've not taken all the boxes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, boys, all get together and become become one good dad.
Speaker 2: Every week we'll drip feed some of these. You know,
Speaker 2: there's many many things.
Speaker 1: Out basic, just basic stuff. I love that. Should we
Speaker 1: do ordinary parents? We decided every repair ordinary repair.
Speaker 2: We don't know what we do. We don't know what
Speaker 2: we're doing because we'repair.
Speaker 1: Matthew Budget Smoker's most Ordinary parent. These were people write
Speaker 1: in and tell us their most ordinary parenting moment, and
Speaker 1: they win two hundred dollars worth of Budget Mugger product.
Speaker 2: You think you've got the winner in the bag, I've
Speaker 2: got one, which I think is not. It's going to
Speaker 2: be a close race to who gets the vouch.
Speaker 1: Should we just do I'll just say the one that
Speaker 1: I think is the winner, and.
Speaker 2: As you know, start with the one that's not the
Speaker 2: winner but still very strong and good enough to be
Speaker 2: on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we'll start with this first one from Jessica,
Speaker 1: who emailed in on two two d D at outlook
Speaker 1: dot com dot au get him in. She says, because
Speaker 1: we winged about the kid's artwork, that we get what
Speaker 1: she does is and actually this is not ordinary, this genius.
Speaker 1: When she gets all this artwork, what she does she
Speaker 1: uses it as gift wrapping and sends them back out.
Speaker 1: So she's sending them off to some other parents to
Speaker 1: do with this shit artwork.
Speaker 2: She's offloading it. Yeah, and offloading.
Speaker 1: I think, Look, it's not ordinary, it's also very good.
Speaker 2: I like it. I think Marley and Lola or Marley
Speaker 2: in particular.
Speaker 1: Would lose it if you started if we like because.
Speaker 2: She's always like, where is that rabbit that I drew
Speaker 2: three months ago? And I'm like, I don't know, and
Speaker 2: she's like, I wanted to go to bed tonight. So
Speaker 2: if I'm using that as wrapping paper, I reckon she
Speaker 2: might flip out.
Speaker 1: I tried to put some of his drawings in the
Speaker 1: bath with him, and I'm like, what did you think?
Speaker 2: Fuck?
Speaker 1: I love that kid. Okay, but do you got this
Speaker 1: is what you think? Is one that's gone through.
Speaker 2: This one's from Courtney And she says, straight off the bat,
Speaker 2: no judgment, please please? Yeah, okay, okay, she says. Now,
Speaker 2: my sister, who is twelve years younger than she is,
Speaker 2: she was fostered by her family and so she's basically
Speaker 2: because of the age difference, she's basically a third parent.
Speaker 2: And they went to the Disability Expo a couple of
Speaker 2: years ago. And at that time Courtney was studying and
Speaker 2: she was quite poor. Now, being quite poor, one thing
Speaker 2: that she couldn't afford it was tough for her was stationary.
Speaker 2: So what she would and her sister was on board.
Speaker 2: She was in a wheelchair. She would send her up
Speaker 2: at the Disability Expo to every stall and she would
Speaker 2: collect pens and paper. She does it every year now
Speaker 2: with her sister. Last year she got one hundred and
Speaker 2: thirty pence.
Speaker 1: Think of the savings. What do you do with all
Speaker 1: those people? You don't need one hundred and thirty pens?
Speaker 2: What do you she says? Am I a bad person?
Speaker 1: No? Court absolutely far from it. Savvy that is, and
Speaker 1: look think of the savings. That is good, very clever,
Speaker 1: very clever. Okay, I thought these both so far, both
Speaker 1: of the two that we've rattled off have been genius parenting.
Speaker 2: If you ask me, I think if more people were
Speaker 2: more savvy, Australia would be a better place.
Speaker 1: It would be. Yeah, totally. But I've got one which
Speaker 1: I think is the winner, which is from Page. So
Speaker 1: Page goes on to tell us that she just went
Speaker 1: out to run some errands and left two kids at
Speaker 1: home with dad. Eight, five and seven. Okay, harmless, Okay,
Speaker 1: She's gone out run some errands and she's come back
Speaker 1: and said to her husband, where are the kids. He's like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're just watching a movie. So she's gone and after.
Speaker 2: The kids are seeing Move On Disney Molana maybe Elsa,
Speaker 2: yeah you think.
Speaker 1: So she's walked into them watching Sausage Party and I
Speaker 1: don't know if you're familiar, Matthew, but they were watching
Speaker 1: the Orgie sex scene where various different foods essentially fuck
Speaker 1: each other. And because it is animated, they've obviously kids.
Speaker 2: Brilliant, brilliant.
Speaker 1: That's our winner this week for sure.
Speaker 2: That is Hey, sex education and it's entertaining.
Speaker 1: I know that's great, So Paige, we'll get in touch. Congratulations,
Speaker 1: and I don't think Courtney needs any help.
Speaker 2: She's got one hundred and thirty pens right now pocket
Speaker 2: and the thing is well.
Speaker 1: She also said at the back endo that email that
Speaker 1: she's got we just got video evidence. But whether we
Speaker 1: want that or not, I don't know. I don't want
Speaker 1: to watch this watching porn.
Speaker 2: This is a PG rated podcast. We can't be putting
Speaker 2: out that type of content. So what was her name?
Speaker 1: Her name is Page?
Speaker 2: Paige. Congratulations, you've got tred bucks worth a budge smuggler gear.
Speaker 1: Yes, and guys get them in in the DMS sent
Speaker 1: us an email. We've got a few more left over
Speaker 1: the course of this year to give away. But Matthew,
Speaker 1: should we do some questions?
Speaker 2: Let's end on a couple of questions, please.
Speaker 1: Ask run out of steam.
Speaker 2: We've done well well to push on through.
Speaker 1: Persevere through my tonsils. I reckon, I needs.
Speaker 2: I reckon you've got tons of lightists?
Speaker 1: No, I just need them out?
Speaker 2: But that would would that mean you have tons don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not a doctor, well neither am I, but I'm
Speaker 2: just putting.
Speaker 1: Ash yes.
Speaker 2: Every week we invite the good listeners of this country
Speaker 2: to ask us any question they like, and we pick
Speaker 2: out two of the best. Obviously, we're not answering in
Speaker 2: the hope that we give any advice. This is purely
Speaker 2: for entertainment purposes. But the first question is and it's
Speaker 2: very fitting that this one is targeted towards you. This
Speaker 2: poor mum has written in very confused, and she says,
Speaker 2: why does my husband's poop take so long his time
Speaker 2: when the toilet has significantly increased after we have had
Speaker 2: a baby. Please explain.
Speaker 1: This is how it works. I'm going to tell you
Speaker 1: how it works, so that in the course of a
Speaker 1: whole day, Matthew, there is the amount of time parenting
Speaker 1: in that day. The more time you spend on the toilet,
Speaker 1: that time significantly reduces. Yes, So if you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: going to do a shit, you just bought yourself thirty
Speaker 1: minutes of me time.
Speaker 2: Because it's the one activity that and I guess showering
Speaker 2: are the only situations where you completely remove yourself from
Speaker 2: any responsibility of parenting.
Speaker 1: And I locked the door too, apels not a locker,
Speaker 1: so would you look the doorf because of the kids
Speaker 1: coming in. Yeah, OUs, you can reach the door handle,
Speaker 1: lock it. If she wants to take a shit for
Speaker 1: thirty minutes. Couldn't care less.
Speaker 2: Because I actually think dads are very good at being
Speaker 2: lazy or efficient in their parenting. Any mum's out there,
Speaker 2: I encourage you to take longer shits.
Speaker 1: Take them.
Speaker 2: I think, like for their monthly poo, take as much
Speaker 2: time as you want. Yesterday, to Laura, I'm like fucking
Speaker 2: strap on in, get a glass of water, get a pillow,
Speaker 2: take as long as you want it. Yeah, a judger.
Speaker 1: I thought yesterday that I called it wele doing a
Speaker 1: shit with the door open, but she was doing a Wii.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, she was doing a Wii and
Speaker 1: it's right next to the bath, and she'd pulled the
Speaker 1: plug in the bath and the plug was making that sound.
Speaker 1: And I've walked past. That's my girl, Get a babe.
Speaker 2: Laura does it all the time. Laura does it, and
Speaker 2: the Wiize just turned into poos and then she's already
Speaker 2: like sat down the toilet seeds so she can't get up.
Speaker 1: They're actually efficient, just like shitting and piece at the
Speaker 1: same time.
Speaker 2: So men do it because we're lazy we're just.
Speaker 1: Trying to reduce the amount of parenting we.
Speaker 2: Have to do that. And sometimes I don't have any
Speaker 2: intention of being on the toilet for twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: It just happened, just doom scrolling.
Speaker 2: Once I get into that scroll.
Speaker 1: Probably why I've got hemorrhoids. That explains a lot I
Speaker 1: think I do. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Let me show me afterwards.
Speaker 1: Have a quick peep.
Speaker 2: Okay, last question. Last question is because today is a
Speaker 2: public holiday, so we've got a lovely babysitter, Charlotte. He's
Speaker 2: got the kids and they've just come home like scratching
Speaker 2: on the front door.
Speaker 1: Matthew. Similar topic. I suppose how many times does your
Speaker 1: kid fast a day? Maybe not numerically, if you're counting
Speaker 1: kids farts all day.
Speaker 2: Girls, the girls fart quite a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was saying that Oscar Oscar loves to drop
Speaker 1: it and then look at what you're like, he's done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so funny.
Speaker 2: I love a fluffy we call him Fluffies.
Speaker 1: And Macy's just a she just farts when she's startled.
Speaker 1: So like the other day she was in she was
Speaker 1: actually in bed and she was just like playing with
Speaker 1: a toy or something in bed and I come through
Speaker 1: the door and I was like, oh, morning, and she
Speaker 1: was like.
Speaker 2: It's like it's like my mom, Yeah yeah, he's really
Speaker 2: just a seventy three year old tractor toddler's body.
Speaker 1: Totally. Yeah, but I look, I wouldn't know how many
Speaker 1: times it but.
Speaker 2: My loves it, even like this morning, I was getting
Speaker 2: it ready, putting a rundies on, so I'm like, crouch
Speaker 2: over and she's just like.
Speaker 1: Looking down the barrel, down the barrel of the gun.
Speaker 2: And she's like, enjoy that. Dad. She's like, that's pretty smelly,
Speaker 2: isn't it.
Speaker 1: She was just like you smell, mate?
Speaker 2: She they're punging.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're like adult shit, it's chicks.
Speaker 2: But again again, once I turned into adults, women.
Speaker 1: Don't fight or pooh once a month. Maybe so I've heard.
Speaker 2: So I've heard. You know, you know who was the
Speaker 2: gassyist in our household? Laura by Far. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: is she unbelievably post kids.
Speaker 1: She's like April to actually April laugh farts. Sometimes we're
Speaker 1: just like laughing up and I'm like, are you fucking serious?
Speaker 2: Get out of this head. They don't Lauras don't smell
Speaker 2: like Laura's are just I'm not even trying to be cute, They're.
Speaker 1: Just pure just air.
Speaker 2: Or is mine smell like decaying flesh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I took a shit this morning. It's smelled like
Speaker 1: dog shit, so I should stop eating a dog for it.
Speaker 2: But we're a household that embraces a fart. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: love it.
Speaker 1: Anyway.
Speaker 2: On that note, we need to stop talking because we've
Speaker 2: got we've got nothing left, and we need to save
Speaker 2: a little bit of fuel in the tank because tomorrow
Speaker 2: we're chatting to Amy Gerard. Everyone like I had hundreds
Speaker 2: of messages of people saying we would love to have
Speaker 2: her on the podcast. Its locked around first Mum, and
Speaker 2: we're gonna have he wrong. We don't know when it's
Speaker 2: going to drop, but maybe a couple of weeks. We
Speaker 2: may have to make you guys wait for it, but
Speaker 2: it's coming. But if you have we're going to do
Speaker 2: Ordinary Parents next week. No, but please send him in.
Speaker 1: Please send me because we're doing another one this mom,
Speaker 1: and we'll do Parenting Lives and then November we've got
Speaker 1: to heap ordinary parenting stuff coming up because that coincides
Speaker 1: with the ordinary rig.
Speaker 2: Ah yes, yes, entries for that are they.
Speaker 1: Being Yeah, yeah, it's an international issue. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yes, So if you're listening with an ordinary rig too
Speaker 2: late next year, ordinary parent, welcome aboard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's still still something to win.
Speaker 2: Come on through. If you have enjoyed this episode. I'm
Speaker 2: guessing by the sounds of our voices there's not many
Speaker 2: of you, maybe one or two, but we would love
Speaker 2: it if you would subscribe, give us a review, Share
Speaker 2: this episode with anyone who you think may enjoy listening
Speaker 2: to Two Husky Men, Two Husky Dads winge about losing
Speaker 2: a Grand Final, and we'll talk to you guys next week.
Speaker 1: See you guys.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present,
Speaker 1: and then that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
Speaker 1: peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land