Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and
Speaker 1: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander peoples.
Speaker 1: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and
Speaker 1: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing
Speaker 1: and for caring for the land on which we are
Speaker 1: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,
Speaker 1: and we share our friendship and our kindness.
Speaker 2: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another
Speaker 3: Shop Back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat
Speaker 3: to one of our gorgeous community members, learn about them,
Speaker 3: their story, their money, arguably the most interest bit, and
Speaker 3: ask them all the juicy questions that you want to know.
Speaker 3: V I've got a good one.
Speaker 1: Do you actually? Because you say this every week, I
Speaker 1: don't think it's possible to have a bad way if
Speaker 1: I really yet to be disappointed. So that's okay, let's
Speaker 1: get into it. Read out the email. I want to
Speaker 1: know what we're up to today.
Speaker 3: Our diarist says, fourteen years ago, I was in the
Speaker 3: worst kind of relationship. It was mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually,
Speaker 3: and financially abusive. Ten years ago, I finally found the
Speaker 3: strength to get myself out of there, and while untangling
Speaker 3: the web of deceit I've been living in, I found
Speaker 3: out the true extent of the financial whole he'd been
Speaker 3: digging me into. I was one hundred and twenty thousand
Speaker 3: dollars in debt on credit cards I didn't even know existed.
Speaker 3: It took me seven very long years and cost me
Speaker 3: almost two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, but I finally
Speaker 3: paid it all off. Proudest moment of my life. Today,
Speaker 3: I am consumer debt free. I have an amazing job
Speaker 3: that I adore, I own my own home, and I
Speaker 3: run a successful business in my spare time. I'd love
Speaker 3: to share my phoenix rising from the ashes tail with
Speaker 3: you and your listeners.
Speaker 1: God, I have goosebumps literally look at Oh. I'm like, Oh,
Speaker 1: what a story money, darist. Welcome to the show. Hi,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Before we jump into it, Jess, we
Speaker 1: probably should do a little bit of a content warning
Speaker 1: given that really beautiful intro you gave. So I don't
Speaker 1: know what we're going to talk about today, but we're
Speaker 1: going to talk about everything that was listed. So if
Speaker 1: this isn't the episode for you and you're just not
Speaker 1: ready for it, that is totally okay. We have a
Speaker 1: heap of other money does you can jump into. But today,
Speaker 1: as always, we are going to be very raw, very real,
Speaker 1: and I am very excited to share your story money, Darist.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I that's crazy, that is so crazy.
Speaker 1: I have so many questions, but as just said offline,
Speaker 1: we have to get through the structured questions so that
Speaker 1: we're all on the same page and then we can
Speaker 1: have a good chat. So Money, Darist, let's start at
Speaker 1: the start. Can you tell me a little bit about
Speaker 1: your money story?
Speaker 4: Sure? So I grew up in a single parent family
Speaker 4: and money was kind of always tight for us. Like
Speaker 4: we're talking black and gold food and homemade clothes and stuff,
Speaker 4: like I never went hungry. There was always a roof
Speaker 4: over my head and food in the pantry. We just
Speaker 4: didn't have anything more than the basics. And once I
Speaker 4: kind of left home, it led me to to not
Speaker 4: want to replicate that for myself. But because of a
Speaker 4: few life circumstances with growing up, I just I made
Speaker 4: a bunch of really silly decisions, and yeah, I ended
Speaker 4: up getting involved with someone who really was the worst
Speaker 4: person I could have ever gotten involved with. But yeah,
Speaker 4: as I said in my letter, I was in a
Speaker 4: very very deep hole financially, but I decided that I
Speaker 4: didn't want to go bankrupt and I didn't want to
Speaker 4: kind of escape from it, so I fought my way
Speaker 4: back to the top. Paint it all off, and I'm
Speaker 4: so happy that my life is so much different now.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you, and we've
Speaker 1: only just met. Can you tell me a little bit
Speaker 1: about what your attitude towards money is now? Like, obviously,
Speaker 1: growing up it was quite tight and there's absolutely nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with black and gold. I still buy that every day,
Speaker 1: But it does become kind of stigma in your life, right,
Speaker 1: Like you kind of look at it and go, oh,
Speaker 1: that means that I can't afford you know, their CSR sugar,
Speaker 1: And I know that that is you know something that
Speaker 1: I've spoken to friends about who have been through situations
Speaker 1: like that. But what do you see money as?
Speaker 4: Now? I see money as it's not the scarce resource
Speaker 4: that I used to think it was. I think I've
Speaker 4: got my head screwed on straight finally. And to me,
Speaker 4: it's a means to enjoy myself, Like it's the reward
Speaker 4: that I get for putting in so much hard work.
Speaker 4: Like I have a day job and you know, a
Speaker 4: couple of sight hustles, so I put in a lot
Speaker 4: of hours, and so the money's the reward from that.
Speaker 4: So I like to enjoy it. Like when I go out,
Speaker 4: I like to kind of splurge every now and then.
Speaker 4: And I don't think that's a bad thing because I'm
Speaker 4: not robbing from Peter to pay Paul I budget for
Speaker 4: my splurges now.
Speaker 1: So, oh my gosh, I love this all right. So money, darrest,
Speaker 1: tell us, what do you do for work and how
Speaker 1: much money do you earn?
Speaker 4: I am so excited to answer this question, really, I am.
Speaker 4: Why are you? Because I have changed things so much
Speaker 4: in the last six months.
Speaker 1: Oh get it, queen, I love this, tell us.
Speaker 4: So I am an analyst. I got a job at
Speaker 4: a new company last year, and my numbers are so
Speaker 4: much better than before. I am on a salary of
Speaker 4: ninety five thousand. I get thirteen percent super on top
Speaker 4: of that.
Speaker 1: Oh so nice, very nice.
Speaker 4: And my total rems one hundred and seven five hundred.
Speaker 4: And then we have an annual bonus scheme as well,
Speaker 4: and that max is out at ten percent, so I
Speaker 4: could get up to a nine and a half thousand
Speaker 4: bonus in July.
Speaker 1: Money win. And then you mentioned you have a few
Speaker 1: side hustles. You don't have to tell us exactly what
Speaker 1: they are, but how much money do you earn from
Speaker 1: those and how much time does it take you each week?
Speaker 4: So I have three side hustles. I have like a
Speaker 4: crafting business where I kind of create things with my hands,
Speaker 4: which lets me kind of get my artistics streak out,
Speaker 4: which is very different to the work I do day
Speaker 4: to day, which is very kind of logical and spreadsheet based.
Speaker 1: An analytical. Yeah, I mean there's nothing wrong with spreadsheets.
Speaker 1: If you came here to talk smack about spreadsheets, we're
Speaker 1: gonna have to end todayy here, my friends.
Speaker 4: Well, no, you are gonna love my spreadsheets. My second
Speaker 4: side hustle is a wholesale supply store for the same
Speaker 4: kind of crufts that I do, so I sell to
Speaker 4: other people like me, other makers. And then I'm also
Speaker 4: in the process of setting up like a clothing and
Speaker 4: home wears bround, but I'm finding it really hard to
Speaker 4: find the extra time to dedicate to getting it off
Speaker 4: the ground. So that's kind of just in its little
Speaker 4: infancy stages at the moment.
Speaker 1: I am not surprised. I've got two side hustles full
Speaker 1: time job. By the way, it's actually really hard to
Speaker 1: start a business.
Speaker 4: Why. Yeah, so the biggest side hustle, the wholesale business,
Speaker 4: turns over about two hundred K year.
Speaker 1: Wow, that is not a side hustle. That is a
Speaker 1: full time I how to tell you this, but that's
Speaker 1: not that side hustle.
Speaker 4: Well, it's not enough to live on. Like the actual
Speaker 4: profit after I've taken every out, the actual profit is
Speaker 4: only about half of my annual salary. So I'm not
Speaker 4: ready to give up my day job yet. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: I know that I can grow that further. I just
Speaker 4: don't want to get too big too quick, and I
Speaker 4: know that managing growth is a delicate balance.
Speaker 1: So holy moly, imagine being like, oh I have a
Speaker 1: side hustle, me thinking she earns like a few extra
Speaker 1: hundred bucks or thousand bucks a year two hundred grand?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right, well I'll just get back in
Speaker 1: my box. All right, Mini dis I think you're beyond impressive.
Speaker 1: I am loving this, but I want to know, as
Speaker 1: the next question, what is your big money goal?
Speaker 4: So all of the money that was previously going toward
Speaker 4: paying down credit card repayments and things, that's all our
Speaker 4: being repointed to saving up for a massive relocation that
Speaker 4: we are hoping to do next year. We want to
Speaker 4: move and have a bit of a tree change. We
Speaker 4: want to kind of find our dream home and move
Speaker 4: to an area that's a little bit more quiet and
Speaker 4: start looking to wind down the busy life and start
Speaker 4: enjoying life a little bit more. Ultimately, I want to
Speaker 4: fire within the next kind of ten to fifteen years.
Speaker 4: So yeah, it's definitely time for us to start thinking
Speaker 4: about what we're going to do after the busy phase
Speaker 4: of our life.
Speaker 1: With that type of income, you definitely can achieve that.
Speaker 1: Like how exciting, Oh it is?
Speaker 4: It really really is and we deserve it. Like I
Speaker 4: keep pinching myself and going is this real? And like
Speaker 4: my other half is always like, yes, this is. You
Speaker 4: deserve this. We deserve it.
Speaker 3: You do it sounds like you've worked really hard to
Speaker 3: get there, so you do one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. So, being a little bit pervy, you
Speaker 1: said you have a partner, which I am really excited
Speaker 1: to hear because obviously, having gone through so much and
Speaker 1: I don't know enough about it, have come out the
Speaker 1: other side, and to have a partner, that's like, no,
Speaker 1: you deserve it. Like, oh, I think you do too, Like,
Speaker 1: let's learn more about you. So if you want to
Speaker 1: do fire, you're probably going to need some investments. So
Speaker 1: the next question is do you currently invest I certainly
Speaker 1: do give us the pervy juicy details. So I've got
Speaker 1: a hundred and seventy K in my super. It's not
Speaker 1: very much, but ten years ago I only had twelve
Speaker 1: K in super, so I've put aside a fair whack ah,
Speaker 1: that is a very big chunk.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's okay.
Speaker 1: It's okay, Jess, It's only okay.
Speaker 4: Well, I was a lot kind of further behind. I
Speaker 4: was a lot below the kind of average balances when
Speaker 4: I first saw it and looked at it. So I
Speaker 4: worked hard to kind of get it back up, and
Speaker 4: now I think I'm probably a bit above people in
Speaker 4: my age bracket, so that's good. I've also got spaceship.
Speaker 4: I have two portfolios there only about two and a
Speaker 4: half k there. I do my roundups through Rays. I've
Speaker 4: got about four and a half grand there, and I
Speaker 4: love Rays because I've never noticed a single cent of
Speaker 4: that money. It is just completely free money.
Speaker 1: Jess and I were recording an episode recently just about
Speaker 1: the different types of investing platforms that are out there,
Speaker 1: but we feel like our community has so much like
Speaker 1: to learn about what they are, Like what does a
Speaker 1: raise and a spaceship do compared to like shares ease,
Speaker 1: and then what is robo advice? And so we need
Speaker 1: to break all these But I was saying on that episode,
Speaker 1: like roundups are so powerful because it's kind of like incidental,
Speaker 1: Like it's always the small things like a coffee or
Speaker 1: like you know, going out for lunch that you go, oh,
Speaker 1: it was thirteen dollars or something, but it was fourteen
Speaker 1: dollars if it rounded up. And I just feel like
Speaker 1: small things really add up, and that it's a way
Speaker 1: that we really need to prioritize ourselves. Not necessarily through
Speaker 1: apps like that, but it's even if we just set
Speaker 1: up an automatic transfer to our savings account of like
Speaker 1: three dollars a day or something, or five dollars. Like
Speaker 1: remember ages ago, we're talking about putting your coffee money
Speaker 1: into savings. Like the small things really add up. And
Speaker 1: look at you. You got four and a half grand
Speaker 1: saved and you're saying you didn't even feel it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, never even noticed it going out of my accounts.
Speaker 1: What moneyed in?
Speaker 4: The best?
Speaker 1: Oh the best.
Speaker 4: And then I also do micro investing, so I have
Speaker 4: Shaeseas and Steak and that's like my play money. So
Speaker 4: they are total gambles, but I'm kind of doing okay
Speaker 4: because it's play money and it's like I don't care
Speaker 4: if I lose it. I've only put in one hundred
Speaker 4: and seventy five bucks, but I've gotten some huge returns
Speaker 4: on my picks there, so I've got about five hundred
Speaker 4: bucks in those at the moment, So that's really good.
Speaker 1: How cool?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then part of fire, I have some investments
Speaker 4: in ETFs via their self wealth apps. So I've only
Speaker 4: got about two and a half grand in there at
Speaker 4: the moment, but that's certainly where I'm funneling all of
Speaker 4: my savings at the moment to into my ETFs.
Speaker 1: Very cool. She's very diversified, lots of platforms, lots of
Speaker 1: things you're playing with. I love it. We do want
Speaker 1: to flip this and ask about debts now though, And
Speaker 1: I know that you a couple of years ago paid
Speaker 1: off a pretty big debt, but do you currently have
Speaker 1: any debts?
Speaker 4: The only debt that I have is the mortgage, and
Speaker 4: I'm so so proud of that. Consumer debt is all
Speaker 4: completely gone.
Speaker 1: Yay job. That's so exciting. Oh my god, I yess
Speaker 1: beIN goosebumps when people say that, Like, I kid you not,
Speaker 1: if you were here, you'd be like, you have very hairy,
Speaker 1: sticky uppy arms, fatoria. But can you tell us a
Speaker 1: bit about that feeling? Like paying off debt obviously is
Speaker 1: a really big undertaking. It is the long slog like
Speaker 1: it takes ages, especially from a situation like you were in.
Speaker 1: What was that final day of payment?
Speaker 4: Like, oh my gosh, it was amazing. So I was
Speaker 4: just doing some sums one day and I just kind
Speaker 4: of thought, oh my gosh, i think I've got enough,
Speaker 4: like in the paying down debt bank account, I think
Speaker 4: I've got enough to get the last little bit on
Speaker 4: the card. So I made some phone calls and I
Speaker 4: went and made the last payment and then oh, gosh,
Speaker 4: now what good look at me because I work from home.
Speaker 4: So I raced next door and kind of said, oh
Speaker 4: my gosh, I've just done it. I've just done the
Speaker 4: last payment. Then I then I drove down the road
Speaker 4: to the BWS and bought myself a really expensive bottle
Speaker 4: of shit.
Speaker 1: Ye yes, I feel like that is so well deserved
Speaker 1: and that was probably the most delicious glass of champagne
Speaker 1: you've had in your life. Right, absolutely, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: That makes me so happy because so many times when
Speaker 1: we're in these situations, it's stretches out, it takes forever,
Speaker 1: and then you kind of click transfer and it feels
Speaker 1: really non coincidental. We're like, oh, that part of my
Speaker 1: life is done. Like it's done. What do you mean?
Speaker 1: Like we need to be celebrating this. So I'm so
Speaker 1: glad you got the opportunity to run next door and
Speaker 1: to get some champagne and to actually enjoy it. And
Speaker 1: if you're listening to this and you're in a similar situation,
Speaker 1: please celebrate those things because you need to embrace them,
Speaker 1: like you don't want to just sit there and go oh,
Speaker 1: because that's what I did. Like when I paid off
Speaker 1: my personal debt, which was absolutely, in no way, shape
Speaker 1: or form nearly as big as yours. I just kind
Speaker 1: of like transferred it and I was like, oh, we're done.
Speaker 1: Oh and I just I expected fireworks and I got
Speaker 1: a submit screen. So so no, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1: How good? All right, let's talk about more exciting things.
Speaker 1: We want to get through these questions because Jess is
Speaker 1: trying to wrap me up as usual. The next question,
Speaker 1: when you're shopping online, do you use shopback?
Speaker 4: I don't because I don't actually shop online. Is she
Speaker 4: I have moved over to a cash system.
Speaker 3: I was going to say, are you an envelope person?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I am on the.
Speaker 4: Cash envelope stuffer, so all of my spending is in cash.
Speaker 3: Yeah, incredible.
Speaker 4: I actually have my little folder just here with all
Speaker 4: so cute, so I do cash stuffing. So my little
Speaker 4: LA wallet comes with me whenever I want to go
Speaker 4: and spend money. And aside from that, I can't spend
Speaker 4: because I don't have cash.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's genius. I feel like I am
Speaker 1: so surprised that so many people are still using cash,
Speaker 1: because obviously I'm such a taper card kind of gal
Speaker 1: and go and I'm always shocked that people still do it,
Speaker 1: but it makes so much sense, Like, especially if you're
Speaker 1: a very visual learner and you're more of a creative
Speaker 1: I find that having it in front of you is
Speaker 1: the best way to go, Okay, this is how much
Speaker 1: I have left. Even though you know what's on your card,
Speaker 1: it's just such a different experience. And then when you
Speaker 1: have to separate with the money, it just feels different.
Speaker 1: So you're more like to put another block between actually
Speaker 1: buying something. And it just makes sense, like some people
Speaker 1: need cash systems, and you're obviously thriving on it. I
Speaker 1: love that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I found that it really helps me to like
Speaker 4: picture how much I'm going to have left, Like if
Speaker 4: I've got let's say it's pay day and I've got
Speaker 4: one hundred dollars worth of spending money in my purse.
Speaker 4: If i want to go and get sushi and that's
Speaker 4: going to cost me like thirty dollars, then that's taking
Speaker 4: a third of the money out of my purse. Whereas
Speaker 4: if I'm just tapping plastic, I don't notice it. But yeah,
Speaker 4: with cash, I really think about it before I hand
Speaker 4: it over.
Speaker 1: How do you manage investments with cash?
Speaker 4: I take the cash that I save up, so like
Speaker 4: my my little investment envelope, I take that cash once
Speaker 4: it hits a thousand dollars and I go and deposit
Speaker 4: it in the back just at the atm Oh, how
Speaker 4: can then do the online stuff after that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, airpic. Oh, my gosh, I love that. That's so interesting.
Speaker 1: All right, I feel like you're going to have a
Speaker 1: really good answer to this. I want to know what
Speaker 1: your best money habit is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're gonna love this. It's you.
Speaker 1: Like, sit down, Victoria, you are not ready.
Speaker 4: So I'm an analyst by trade, and I am huge
Speaker 4: on spreadsheets and data. I have this massive spreadsheet that
Speaker 4: has got every single bill I've ever paid and all
Speaker 4: of the estimated amounts and dates going forward for the
Speaker 4: next twelve months. It has our household budget. It has
Speaker 4: how much needs to be transferred into each of our
Speaker 4: little sub accounts when we get paid. It had all
Speaker 4: of my credit card repayment projections so that I could
Speaker 4: see when each card was due to get paid off. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's got everything. And now I do it on the
Speaker 4: first day of every month, and I calculate my net
Speaker 4: worth every month.
Speaker 1: My gosh, so you did it yesterday? Were you excited
Speaker 1: about it yesterday?
Speaker 4: So excited?
Speaker 1: How good? Oh my gosh. I feel like I'm going
Speaker 1: to be asking you for your spreadsheet after this because
Speaker 1: I am so pervy on people's spreadsheets. It's bad. All right.
Speaker 1: Next question, We've got to bring the tone of this
Speaker 1: conversation down. What's your worst money habit.
Speaker 4: I think my worst my habit is probably that I
Speaker 4: like a bit of luxury in my life. So I
Speaker 4: am very fond of the finer things in life because
Speaker 4: I struggled for so long. So now that I'm not
Speaker 4: on struggle street anymore, Like I prefer to fly business,
Speaker 4: and I really love saving up all of my points
Speaker 4: so that I can upgrade to first class. And I
Speaker 4: like splurging on expensive hotels, and like I don't just
Speaker 4: get the basic room, I get the club room on
Speaker 4: the high floor with the cocktail bar and the free nibbles.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. No, no, no, that's not a bad money habit.
Speaker 1: That is you living your best life because you absolutely
Speaker 1: deserve it. Absolutely, We're not having this argument. That's not
Speaker 1: a bad money habit. Money direst I'm not going to
Speaker 1: ask you for another one. But like I'm rendering that invalid. Terrible, terrible,
Speaker 1: terrible answer to that, I think that that is fantastic
Speaker 1: and you absolutely deserve it. Like that is not a
Speaker 1: bad money habit. That is you going gin know what,
Speaker 1: Look how far I've come, and look how much I
Speaker 1: get to enjoy my life Like that is so cool?
Speaker 1: So all right, next before we go to a quick break,
Speaker 1: is money Diarist, what grade would you give your money
Speaker 1: habits if we forced you to give them a grade?
Speaker 4: I'm going to put tickets on myself here.
Speaker 1: You do, you absolutely do? All right, We have lots
Speaker 1: of questions for you right after this short break. All right,
Speaker 1: money Diarist, we are back and your story is huge.
Speaker 1: I am so inspired by you. You have a full
Speaker 1: time job, you have two side hustles, nearly three side hustles.
Speaker 1: Your side hustle turns over two hundred grand a year.
Speaker 1: You're earning like one hundred grand a year. But that
Speaker 1: is absolutely not where you have come from. Can you
Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about your history? In your
Speaker 1: email that you sent to us, you said that you
Speaker 1: had been in the worst relationship of your entire life,
Speaker 1: and there was credit going everywhere and you didn't even
Speaker 1: know about half the credit cards. I feel like listening
Speaker 1: to your diary and I know other people are going
Speaker 1: to have, you know, been along this same journey with me,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just so inspired. You speak so
Speaker 1: confidently and you just sound like this epic human that
Speaker 1: I can't right now comprehend that that was your history.
Speaker 1: So can you tell us a little bit about that
Speaker 1: and how that worked?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, sure. So fourteen years ago I got involved
Speaker 4: with a man who very quickly became my abuser, and
Speaker 4: it was just the worst time of my life. Towards
Speaker 4: the end, he was showing the scariest of all of
Speaker 4: the abuse types, and I knew that if I stayed
Speaker 4: much longer, I would die. I wouldn't make it out alive.
Speaker 4: So ten years ago, sorry.
Speaker 1: Your time, take your time.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry you're not. Don't hate to.
Speaker 1: Talk about it.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, no, it's it's all good. Heavy
Speaker 4: right At that part, I just always go.
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a lot for someone to go through.
Speaker 4: It is, yeah, it really is. So ten years ago
Speaker 4: I finally went and got some psychological help for the
Speaker 4: first time in my life, and my psychologist helped me
Speaker 4: to find the strength within to leave. They say that
Speaker 4: it takes a survivor on average about seven attempts to
Speaker 4: get out, and I managed to do it on my
Speaker 4: sixth attempt, which I was really proud of above average.
Speaker 4: I was just so happy, Like I got back in
Speaker 4: touch with all of my friends and my family whom
Speaker 4: my abuser had cut me off from. I could use
Speaker 4: the bathroom without permission, I could go grocery shopping, I could,
Speaker 4: you know, like I could just do anything I wanted
Speaker 4: and I didn't have someone yelling at me all the time.
Speaker 4: And it was like I just had this whole new life.
Speaker 4: I'd escaped and I was free. And then a couple
Speaker 4: of months later it kind of all turned back into
Speaker 4: a nightmare. I kind of found out that, well, these
Speaker 4: credit card statements just started showing up and I didn't
Speaker 4: even know about them. It turned out that there had
Speaker 4: been cards taken out in my name that like some
Speaker 4: of them were even from banks. I'd never even heard of.
Speaker 4: The two credit cards that I did know that I had,
Speaker 4: I thought that they both had a two thousand dollar limit,
Speaker 4: But when I finally got to see my bank statements
Speaker 4: for those, he'd increased those credit limits and he'd applied
Speaker 4: for all these other ones in my name and bodged
Speaker 4: my signature and stolen my driver's license and stuff, and
Speaker 4: then he'd maxed everything out. It took me tons and
Speaker 4: tons of digging, and I actually had to go and
Speaker 4: get all of my credit reports so that I could
Speaker 4: find out some of the cards because he'd put different
Speaker 4: addresses on them, and the post wasn't even coming to
Speaker 4: the house. So eventually I kind of tallied it all
Speaker 4: up and it was one hundred and twenty six thousand
Speaker 4: dollars that I owed, and I was just petrified. I
Speaker 4: was so scared. I had no idea how on earth
Speaker 4: I was going to get out of that. And like
Speaker 4: we were talking ten years ago, this was before the
Speaker 4: banking reform and before banks had DV you know, and
Speaker 4: hardship policies in place and things like that, so I
Speaker 4: was on the hook for all of it. I went
Speaker 4: to the police and they spoke to him, but he
Speaker 4: said that I knew about them, and I'd signed all
Speaker 4: the forms, so it turned into my word against his,
Speaker 4: and I had no croused. It was awful. I briefly
Speaker 4: consider going bankrupt, but I knew that, like I wanted
Speaker 4: to buy a house, and I knew that I wanted
Speaker 4: to keep my options open, like for a possible career
Speaker 4: change one day, because I know that if you've been bankrupt,
Speaker 4: you can't have some jobs. So I decided that bankruptcy
Speaker 4: wasn't something that I personally wanted to go through. So yeah,
Speaker 4: I just I moved everything that I could across to
Speaker 4: zero percent interest cards. I called all of the banks
Speaker 4: and asked them to close the accounts and just let
Speaker 4: me pay them off slowly so that nothing else could
Speaker 4: possibly get added to them.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Of course, it took me almost seven years, and the
Speaker 4: total payback figure was two hundred and forty seven thousand,
Speaker 4: four hundred and fourteen dollars and eighty four cents.
Speaker 3: The fact that you paid that amount of money off
Speaker 3: in seven years is such a testament to your willpower
Speaker 3: to be honest like that is a mind boggling amount
Speaker 3: of money, and to pay it off in such a
Speaker 3: short amount of time while recovering from trauma, while having
Speaker 3: to set yourself up with a whole new life completely
Speaker 3: different from the one you had. That is no small feet.
Speaker 3: That is incredibly impressive. So a big congratulations to you
Speaker 3: for doing that.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that was your experience, so impressed, Like
Speaker 1: I just I also can see this now that you
Speaker 1: had where you're like, look, I looked into my options
Speaker 1: and bankruptcy wasn't for me. And I think that so
Speaker 1: many people in the moment. It's like you have blinkers
Speaker 1: on when you have that much debt staring you in
Speaker 1: the face, especially having come out of a DV situation,
Speaker 1: that they go, oh, that'll get me out of the situation. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's just do that, and they think about the ramifications later.
Speaker 1: You were like, no, I'm going to look at my options,
Speaker 1: Like imagine going through that situation and maintaining a level
Speaker 1: head like you, my friend, are a superhuman like who
Speaker 1: can actually do that? But it's true, right, bankruptcy isn't
Speaker 1: for everybody, And if you want to work in certain
Speaker 1: areas or you know, in a period of time you
Speaker 1: want to buy a house, like that actually is going
Speaker 1: to stop you. So the fact that you were like,
Speaker 1: you know what, this is going to as me x amount.
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it. I'm in awe of you,
Speaker 1: Like how cool. So tell me a bit about the future,
Speaker 1: Like you've obviously gotten out of this debt and started
Speaker 1: saving aggressively, which is very exciting because you want to
Speaker 1: achieve fire. How quickly are we achieving that? Because if
Speaker 1: you can save two hundred and fifty grand in seven years,
Speaker 1: which is basically what you did, you've taught yourself how
Speaker 1: to do that. What's next? Where are we going?
Speaker 4: So we're hoping that we can relocate towards the end
Speaker 4: of next year. We are aggressively paying down the mortgage
Speaker 4: here at the moment. So along the way, while I
Speaker 4: was paying down the debt, I also bought a block
Speaker 4: of land, I saved up a deposit, I built a house.
Speaker 4: What Jes I met?
Speaker 1: This is a made up, pretend story. You can't be
Speaker 1: this good?
Speaker 4: Oh serious? I mean like I had a second job
Speaker 4: to help with saving up the deposit and things. But yeah,
Speaker 4: and I met a wonderful, patient, kind, understanding human. I
Speaker 4: got engaged and married. We had these two amazing overseas trips.
Speaker 4: But I did all of those in a really scaled
Speaker 4: down way. Like I bought the cheapest block of land
Speaker 4: in a housing estate a long way away from where
Speaker 4: I wanted to actually live. I built this minuscule little
Speaker 4: house on it, so it was just big enough for
Speaker 4: me and my dogs, and that was all that I
Speaker 4: needed at the time because it was just me. So
Speaker 4: when we got married, we had a micro wedding. There
Speaker 4: were only like twenty people there and it was a
Speaker 4: bit of a surprise. We only told the people who
Speaker 4: were going to be invited to the wedding, and after
Speaker 4: the ceremony, we just kind of jumped on a public
Speaker 4: bus and we went to a restaurant down the road
Speaker 4: and I just had our wedding reception in a restaurant,
Speaker 4: Like it was really scaled down, but it was all
Speaker 4: we needed and wanted. We got to have the people
Speaker 4: who matted the most with us there for the day,
Speaker 4: and we didn't go into any debt for it, Like
Speaker 4: I didn't get any cost us about five grands.
Speaker 1: So that is so beyond special. Like, I love that
Speaker 1: you've been able to achieve these things along the way,
Speaker 1: because so many times paying of debt that's that aggressive
Speaker 1: can often feel all consuming and overwhelming. How did you
Speaker 1: know that going through that situation? How did you know
Speaker 1: that you could buy a block of land and build
Speaker 1: a house and do all of these things, Like did
Speaker 1: you get advice or were you, you know, doing your
Speaker 1: own research? Obviously you're quite intelligent on your own, But
Speaker 1: where did you get your resources? Because I'm sure that
Speaker 1: there are some people listening right now that are either
Speaker 1: in your situation or have been in your situation, and
Speaker 1: I would love to know. I guess what resources did
Speaker 1: you rely on?
Speaker 4: Absolutely So, when I got myself free of the whole situation,
Speaker 4: I got a lot of help from a domestic violence
Speaker 4: support group in the city close to where I live,
Speaker 4: and they were really really helpful with information about like
Speaker 4: grants that you can get and lenders who are good
Speaker 4: for helping you get back up on your feet again
Speaker 4: and things like that. It was aired down, bum up,
Speaker 4: get it done. I knew that I needed to get
Speaker 4: out of the situation I was in, and I just
Speaker 4: put every spare second of my time towards achieving that goal.
Speaker 1: And I did, oh my gosh, And if there was
Speaker 1: somebody listening that was like, oh my gosh, this is
Speaker 1: me in a nutshell, I am. Look, that's the worst
Speaker 1: thing about these types of debts, right, like where people
Speaker 1: are forging your signature, Like obviously you went to the police,
Speaker 1: and I think that a lot of people would have
Speaker 1: been thinking like, sure, you would have got the cops involved,
Speaker 1: and you mentioned before you did, but you're right, it's
Speaker 1: your word against his, and I'm sure you could have
Speaker 1: taken it further, but then it would have included legal
Speaker 1: bills and you know, a lawyer and getting all of
Speaker 1: that and the emotional stress. Like, sometimes it is just better.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying this in a way where I go,
Speaker 1: just pay the debt, like nobody wants to have to
Speaker 1: do that, but sometimes you just go, do you know what.
Speaker 1: I know that's a lot of money, but I'd prefer
Speaker 1: to pay that than have any conversation about this person.
Speaker 4: Ever.
Speaker 1: Again, like, is that the situation you were in?
Speaker 4: Absolutely? One hundred percent. I knew that. Like I couldn't
Speaker 4: even show up to when you have a devo, you
Speaker 4: have to go back for another hearing to have it extended,
Speaker 4: and I couldn't even show up to that because I
Speaker 4: was just too I couldn't be in the same room.
Speaker 4: So absolutely it was a case of I just I
Speaker 4: need to put this behind me, and the way that
Speaker 4: is going to be kindest on my soul to do
Speaker 4: that is to get it done myself.
Speaker 3: What steps did you take following on from that? Obviously
Speaker 3: you've made that decision, which is a really big and
Speaker 3: hard decision to make. What steps did you take to
Speaker 3: prevent yourself from finding out that he had opened more
Speaker 3: credit cards or done something, Because obviously you've separated yourself
Speaker 3: from him, you've taken yourself out of that situation. But obviously,
Speaker 3: historically you didn't know what he was doing. He was
Speaker 3: doing it without your permission. He'd obviously figured out how
Speaker 3: to ford your signature. Were there any things, particularly that
Speaker 3: you did to make sure that that couldn't happen again?
Speaker 4: I did. Actually, there is a legal service specifically for
Speaker 4: women who have escaped from domestic violence, and the legal
Speaker 4: service actually assisted me by drafting a letter that I sent.
Speaker 4: I had it certified by JPS, and had it sent
Speaker 4: with my id off to oh gosh, it must have
Speaker 4: been about thirty or forty financial institutions that kind of said,
Speaker 4: I guarantee you I will never be applying for credit,
Speaker 4: do not accept anything with my details. And nothing has
Speaker 4: ever come up. I have all of my credit reports
Speaker 4: emailed to me once a month.
Speaker 1: Now, that's a great idea.
Speaker 4: And so nothing else has ever come up. I check regularly,
Speaker 4: and I think I'm in the all clear now.
Speaker 1: So you found out a lot of these debts because
Speaker 1: you looked at your credit score. And I feel like
Speaker 1: so many people in this situation, like you wouldn't have
Speaker 1: had any need to look into your credit score before that, right,
Speaker 1: but you would have uncovered it a lot earlier had
Speaker 1: you checked it. Is that something that you go, bloody hell, Victoria,
Speaker 1: I wish I'd known about that? Or is that something
Speaker 1: where you're like, do you know what? I'm glad that
Speaker 1: I just got out and I am done, because they
Speaker 1: feel like credit scores some people just don't even know
Speaker 1: that they can check them.
Speaker 4: I'm of two minds. I've delved into a lot of
Speaker 4: stuff from that time period with my shrink, and I'm
Speaker 4: of two minds. Part of me wishes that having those
Speaker 4: credit reports sent to every person as soon as you
Speaker 4: hit eighteen, everybody should sign up for these credit reports
Speaker 4: and have them sent to you all the time, because
Speaker 4: it's not just TV. It can just be you know,
Speaker 4: going on holiday to Thailand and swiping your credit card
Speaker 4: somewhere and having it cloned exact. Lot of those things
Speaker 4: are important, But there's another part of me that is like, well,
Speaker 4: if I had known back then before I was ready
Speaker 4: to escape. I would have just accepted what he was
Speaker 4: telling me, and I wouldn't have been able to fight back,
Speaker 4: and then it might have even been worse.
Speaker 1: Yes, So yeah, isn't it interesting how in hindsight you go,
Speaker 1: you know what, it was a really shitty situation, but
Speaker 1: the cards fell out in exactly the right way that
Speaker 1: they were meant to And now you're in this beautiful
Speaker 1: position that you absolutely deserve to be in. And I
Speaker 1: guess you're the light at the end of the tunnel
Speaker 1: for everybody in this situation who goes, oh, I just
Speaker 1: can't see it, like you can't because you only get
Speaker 1: to see it in hindsight. Like it's crazy to think that,
Speaker 1: you know, fourteen years ago, you didn't see yourself in
Speaker 1: this position. Like what would you say to yourself fourteen
Speaker 1: year younger you?
Speaker 4: I think I would probably say that I can survive anything,
Speaker 4: that I have the drive and the passion and the
Speaker 4: will inside of me, but more importantly, that I have
Speaker 4: to strength and everybody has it. You just need to
Speaker 4: figure out how to harness it. And I also firmly
Speaker 4: believe that if anyone is in a similar situation and
Speaker 4: they don't know how to get out, Go and speak
Speaker 4: to your GP, Go and get yourself a mental health
Speaker 4: care plan, and then go and get some sessions are free.
Speaker 4: Get some free sessions with a psychologist, and they will
Speaker 4: help you to find that strength and that power within
Speaker 4: and will help you get safe because without knowing how
Speaker 4: to escape a relationship like that safely, it can actually
Speaker 4: be really dangerous. But because of my shrink, we got
Speaker 4: a whole heap of stuff all kind of lined up
Speaker 4: and got all the docks in a row, and it
Speaker 4: made making that break so much easier because I had
Speaker 4: someone there to kind of take control and say these
Speaker 4: other steps were going to follow, and I didn't know
Speaker 4: what steps I needed to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you have no idea because you've never been
Speaker 1: in that situation before, Like why would you know that?
Speaker 1: But you've brought up a really important point, and that's
Speaker 1: that these situations are and can be incredibly dangerous. Like
Speaker 1: as you said before, it's incredibly hard to hear, and sadly,
Speaker 1: it's not the first time I've heard that. It's if
Speaker 1: I don't leave, I will lose my life, and it's
Speaker 1: not a case. And I think it's such a naive
Speaker 1: point of view, and people are like, well, why didn't
Speaker 1: you just leave? Like, no, that's not how this works.
Speaker 1: As you said before, it takes seven times. It took
Speaker 1: you six, which is very, very impressive. But you actually
Speaker 1: need a plan. You need to put your ducks in
Speaker 1: a row, because it's not just about you, it's about
Speaker 1: the whole situation unfolding in the way that it needs
Speaker 1: to unfold, because otherwise you're in a worse off situation
Speaker 1: than you were in the first place. Absolutely, so, one
Speaker 1: of the best tips I can you know, recommend is
Speaker 1: obviously what you said, money direst go to your GP,
Speaker 1: but the National Debt Helpline, I'm obsessed with them, Like
Speaker 1: they have so many good free resources, they have free
Speaker 1: financial counselors. They have been through all of this before.
Speaker 1: It n't their first rodeo, sadly, but go talk to
Speaker 1: people who are there for you and it doesn't have
Speaker 1: to cost money, Like absolutely GP free sessions and articulate
Speaker 1: that to your GP. You want to see someone and
Speaker 1: you want it bulk build. You don't want to have
Speaker 1: any excess or any over and that you need that
Speaker 1: and they're going to prioritize it. They're going to only
Speaker 1: refer you to somebody who that could work for. But
Speaker 1: you really need to articulate that need, because there's nothing
Speaker 1: worse than going, oh, I need to get some psych help,
Speaker 1: and you go to the GP and then they refer
Speaker 1: you to someone and there's like a gap of like
Speaker 1: sixty bucks and you're like, I can't, I can't. So
Speaker 1: make sure that you're articulating what you need, because that's
Speaker 1: actually so beyond powerful to be able to say, you
Speaker 1: know what, I just need a little bit of help
Speaker 1: right now, because we all do one hundred percent.
Speaker 4: And when I was like still in the relationship, I
Speaker 4: didn't have a card for my own bank account. He
Speaker 4: had it, so I had no access to money of
Speaker 4: any kind. He would top up my train ticket, you know,
Speaker 4: he would do the grocery shopping. I had no access
Speaker 4: to cash. So if I couldn't go to a bulk
Speaker 4: billing GP and get referred to a bulk billing psychologist,
Speaker 4: I don't think I would have been able to get out.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you are so powerful. I am so impressed.
Speaker 1: Money Direst. Thank you so much for coming and sharing
Speaker 1: your story. I know that there are going to be
Speaker 1: people listening to this going. How did she do that.
Speaker 1: That's insane, that's incredible. But some of the most powerful
Speaker 1: people I know have been through situations like yours and
Speaker 1: honestly the most inspiring humans I know. So thank you
Speaker 1: so much for sharing that with us. Oh my gosh, Jess,
Speaker 1: what a powerhouse.
Speaker 3: Incredible And if you are in a similar situation, check
Speaker 3: out the show notes. We will have a whole host
Speaker 3: of resources available to you. And if you know someone
Speaker 3: who's going through something like this, reach out because I
Speaker 3: think that it's hard to feel alone, but there are
Speaker 3: absolutely people and resources out there that can help you.
Speaker 4: You're not alone.
Speaker 3: We're here exactly right.
Speaker 4: Thanks so much for having me on the show. Guys.
Speaker 4: I've been a listener for so long and I'm just
Speaker 4: so happy that I could come on and be maybe
Speaker 4: a little bit of a voice of inspiration for some
Speaker 4: of your other listeners. So thank you.
Speaker 1: Oh Mada, you are huge, You are massive. I'm obsessed.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 4: Jess.
Speaker 1: Do you want to wrap the boring but important bids?
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course. The advice sheared on She's on the
Speaker 3: Money is general in nature and does not consider your
Speaker 3: individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational
Speaker 3: purposes and should not be relied upon to make an
Speaker 3: investment or a financial decision. And Thomas, Victoria Devine and
Speaker 3: She's on the Money are authorized representatives of Infocused Securities
Speaker 3: Australia Proprietary Limited ABN four seven oh nine seven seven
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Speaker 3: five two three zero.
Speaker 1: On Wednesday, guys bye,