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Speaker 1: Just before we get started, we'd like to acknowledge and.

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Speaker 2: Pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander peoples.

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Speaker 2: They're the traditional custodians of the lands, the waterways and

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Speaker 2: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing

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Speaker 2: and for caring for the land on which we are

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Speaker 2: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present,

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Speaker 2: and we share our friendship and our kindness.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.

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Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 4: for millennials who want financial freedom. Welcome back to another

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Speaker 4: Shop Back Money Diary Monday, where we get to chat

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Speaker 4: to one of our gorgeous community members, learn about them,

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Speaker 4: their story, their money, arguably the most interest bit, and

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Speaker 4: ask them all the juicy questions that you want to know.

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Speaker 4: V I've got a good one.

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Speaker 1: Do you actually? Because you say this every.

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Speaker 2: Week, I don't think it's possible to have a bad

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Speaker 2: way if I really yet to be disappointed. So that's okay,

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Speaker 2: let's get into it. Read out the email. I want

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Speaker 2: to know what we're up to today.

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Speaker 4: Our diarist says, fourteen years ago, I was in the

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Speaker 4: worst kind of relationship. It was mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually,

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Speaker 4: and financially abusive. Ten years ago, I finally found the

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Speaker 4: strength to get myself out of there, and while untangling

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Speaker 4: the web of deceit I've been living in, I found

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Speaker 4: out the true extent of the financial whole he'd been

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Speaker 4: digging me into. I was one hundred and twenty thousand

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Speaker 4: dollars in debt on credit cards I didn't even know existed.

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Speaker 4: It took me seven very long years and cost me

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Speaker 4: almost two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, but I finally

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Speaker 4: paid it all off. Proudest moment of my life. Today,

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Speaker 4: I am consumer debt free. I have an amazing job

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Speaker 4: that I adore, I own my own home, and I

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Speaker 4: run a successful business in my spare time. I'd love

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Speaker 4: to share my phoenix rising from the ashes tail with

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Speaker 4: you and your listeners.

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Speaker 1: God, I have goosebumps literally look at Oh. I'm like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: what a story money, darist. Welcome to the show. Hi,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Before we jump into it, Jess, we probably should do

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Speaker 2: a little bit of a content warning given that really beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Intro you gave.

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Speaker 2: So I don't know what we're going to talk about today,

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Speaker 2: but we're going to talk about everything that was listed.

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Speaker 2: So if this isn't the episode for you and you're

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Speaker 2: just not ready for it, that is totally okay. We

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Speaker 2: have a heap of other money does you can jump into.

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Speaker 2: But today, as always, we are going to be very raw,

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Speaker 2: very real, and I am very excited to share your

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Speaker 2: story money, Darist. Oh my god, I that's crazy, that

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Speaker 2: is so crazy. I have so many questions, but as

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Speaker 2: just said offline, we have to get through the structured

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Speaker 2: questions so that we're all on the same page and

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Speaker 2: then we can have a good chat. So Money, Darist,

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Speaker 2: let's start at the start. Can you tell me a

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Speaker 2: little bit about your money story?

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Speaker 5: Sure? So I grew up in a single parent family

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Speaker 5: and money was kind of always tight for us. Like

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Speaker 5: we're talking black and gold food and homemade clothes and stuff,

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Speaker 5: like I never went hungry. There was always a roof

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Speaker 5: over my head and food in the pantry. We just

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Speaker 5: didn't have anything more than the basics. And once I

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Speaker 5: kind of left home, it led me to to not

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Speaker 5: want to replicate that for myself. But because of a

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Speaker 5: few life circumstances with growing up, I just I made

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Speaker 5: a bunch of really silly decisions, and yeah, I ended

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Speaker 5: up getting involved with someone who really was the worst

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Speaker 5: person I could have ever gotten involved with. But yeah,

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Speaker 5: as I said in my letter, I was in a

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Speaker 5: very very deep hole financially, but I decided that I

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Speaker 5: didn't want to go bankrupt and I didn't want to

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Speaker 5: kind of escape from it, so I fought my way

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Speaker 5: back to the top. Paint it all off, and I'm

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Speaker 5: so happy that my life is so much different now.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you, and we've

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Speaker 1: only just met. Can you tell me a little bit.

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Speaker 2: About what your attitude towards money is now? Like, obviously,

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Speaker 2: growing up it was quite tight and there's absolutely nothing

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Speaker 2: wrong with black and gold. I still buy that every day,

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Speaker 2: But it does become kind of stigma in your life, right,

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Speaker 2: Like you kind of look at it and go, oh,

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Speaker 2: that means that I can't afford you know, their CSR sugar,

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Speaker 2: And I know that that is you know something that

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Speaker 2: I've spoken to friends about who have been through situations

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Speaker 2: like that. But what do you see money as?

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Speaker 5: Now? I see money as it's not the scarce resource

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Speaker 5: that I used to think it was. I think I've

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Speaker 5: got my head screwed on straight finally. And to me,

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Speaker 5: it's a means to enjoy myself, Like it's the reward

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Speaker 5: that I get for putting in so much hard work.

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Speaker 5: Like I have a day job and you know, a

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Speaker 5: couple of sight hustles, so I put in a lot

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Speaker 5: of hours, and so the money's the reward from that.

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Speaker 5: So I like to enjoy it. Like when I go out,

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Speaker 5: I like to kind of splurge every now and then.

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Speaker 5: And I don't think that's a bad thing because I'm

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Speaker 5: not robbing from Peter to pay Paul I budget for

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Speaker 5: my splurges now.

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Speaker 2: So, oh my gosh, I love this all right. So money, darrest,

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Speaker 2: tell us, what do you do for work and how

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Speaker 2: much money do you earn?

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Speaker 5: I am so excited to answer this question, really, I am.

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Speaker 1: Why are you?

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Speaker 5: Because I have changed things so much in the last

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Speaker 5: six months.

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Speaker 1: Oh get it, queen, I love this, tell us.

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Speaker 5: So I am an analyst. I got a job at

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Speaker 5: a new company last year, and my numbers are so

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Speaker 5: much better than before. I am on a salary of

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Speaker 5: ninety five thousand. I get thirteen percent super on top

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Speaker 5: of that.

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Speaker 1: Oh so nice, very nice.

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Speaker 5: And my total rems one hundred and seven five hundred.

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Speaker 5: And then we have an annual bonus scheme as well,

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Speaker 5: and that max is out at ten percent, so I

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Speaker 5: could get up to a nine and a half thousand

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Speaker 5: bonus in July.

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Speaker 1: Money win. And then you mentioned you have a few

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Speaker 1: side hustles.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to tell us exactly what they are,

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Speaker 2: but how much money do you earn from those and

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Speaker 2: how much time does it take you each week?

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Speaker 5: So I have three side hustles. I have like a

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Speaker 5: crafting business where I kind of create things with my hands,

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Speaker 5: which lets me kind of get my artistics streak out,

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Speaker 5: which is very different to the work I do day

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Speaker 5: to day, which is very kind of logical and spreadsheet based.

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Speaker 2: An analytical. Yeah, I mean there's nothing wrong with spreadsheets.

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Speaker 1: If you came here to talk smack about spreadsheets, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to end todayy here, my friends.

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Speaker 5: Well, no, you are gonna love my spreadsheets. My second

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Speaker 5: side hustle is a wholesale supply store for the same

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Speaker 5: kind of crufts that I do, so I sell to

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Speaker 5: other people like me, other makers. And then I'm also

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Speaker 5: in the process of setting up like a clothing and

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Speaker 5: homewars bround. But I'm finding it really hard to find

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Speaker 5: the extra time to dedicate to getting it off the ground.

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Speaker 5: So that's kind of just in its little infancy stages

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Speaker 5: at the moment.

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Speaker 1: I am not surprised. I've got two side hustles full

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Speaker 1: time job.

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Speaker 2: By the way, it's actually really hard to start a business.

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Speaker 5: Why. Yeah, So the biggest side hustle, the wholesale business,

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Speaker 5: turns over about two hundred K a year.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that is not a side hustle. That is a

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Speaker 1: full time I how to tell you this, but that's

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Speaker 1: not that side hustle.

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Speaker 5: Well, it's not enough to live on. Like the actual

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Speaker 5: profit after I've taken every out, the actual profit is

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Speaker 5: only about half of my annual salary. So I'm not

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Speaker 5: ready to give up my day job yet. Yeah, but

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Speaker 5: I know that I can grow that further. I just

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Speaker 5: don't want to get too big too quick, and I

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Speaker 5: know that managing growth is a delicate balance.

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Speaker 2: So holy moly, imagine being like, oh I have a

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Speaker 2: side hustle, me thinking she earns like a few extra

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Speaker 2: hundred bucks or thousand bucks a year two hundred grand?

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, all right, well I'll just get back in

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Speaker 2: my box. All right, Mini dis I think you're beyond impressive.

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Speaker 2: I am loving this, but I want to know, as

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Speaker 2: the next question, what is your big money goal?

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Speaker 5: So all of the money that was previously going toward

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Speaker 5: paying down credit card repayments and things, that's all our

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Speaker 5: being repointed to saving up for a massive relocation that

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Speaker 5: we are hoping to do next year. We want to

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Speaker 5: move and have a bit of a tree change. We

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Speaker 5: want to kind of find our dream home and move

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Speaker 5: to an area that's a little bit more quiet and

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Speaker 5: start looking to wind down the busy life and start

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Speaker 5: enjoying life a little bit more. Ultimately, I want to

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Speaker 5: fire within the next kind of ten to fifteen years.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, it's definitely time for us to start thinking

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Speaker 5: about what we're going to do after the busy phase

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Speaker 5: of our life.

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Speaker 2: With that type of income, you definitely can achieve that.

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Speaker 1: Like how exciting, Oh it is?

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Speaker 5: It really really is and we deserve it. Like I

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Speaker 5: keep pinching myself and going is this real? And like

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Speaker 5: my other half is always like, yes, this is. You

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Speaker 5: deserve this, We deserve it. You do it.

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Speaker 4: Sounds like you've worked really hard to get there, so

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Speaker 4: you do one hundred percent.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: So, being a little bit pervy, you said you have

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Speaker 2: a partner, which I am really excited to hear because obviously,

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Speaker 2: having gone through so much and I don't know enough

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Speaker 2: about it, have come out the other side, and to

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Speaker 2: have a partner, that's like, no, you deserve it, Like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I think you do too, Like, let's learn more about you.

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Speaker 2: So if you want to do fire, you're probably going

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Speaker 2: to need some investments. So the next question is do

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Speaker 2: you currently invest I certainly do give us the pervy

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Speaker 2: juicy details. So I've got a hundred and seventy K

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Speaker 2: in my super. It's not very much, but ten years

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Speaker 2: ago I only had twelve K in super, so I've

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Speaker 2: put aside a fair whack.

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Speaker 1: Ah, that is a very big chunk.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, Jess, It's only okay.

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Speaker 5: Well, I was a lot kind of further behind. I

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Speaker 5: was a lot below the kind of average balances when

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Speaker 5: I first saw it and looked at it. So I

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Speaker 5: worked hard to kind of get it back up, and

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Speaker 5: now I think I'm probably a bit above people in

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Speaker 5: my age bracket, so that's good. I've also got spaceship.

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Speaker 5: I have two portfolios there only about two and a

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Speaker 5: half k there. I do my roundups through Rays. I've

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Speaker 5: got about four and a half grand there, and I

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Speaker 5: love Rays because I've never noticed a single cent of

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Speaker 5: that money. It is just completely free money.

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Speaker 2: Jess and I were recording an episode recently just about

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Speaker 2: the different types of investing platforms that are out there,

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Speaker 2: but we feel like our community has so much like

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Speaker 2: to learn about what they are, Like what does a

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Speaker 2: raise and a spaceship do compared to like shares ease,

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Speaker 2: and then what is robo advice? And so we need

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Speaker 2: to break all these But I was saying on that episode,

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Speaker 2: like roundups are so powerful because it's kind of like incidental,

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Speaker 2: Like it's always the small things like a coffee or

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Speaker 2: like you know, going out for lunch that you go, oh,

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Speaker 2: it was thirteen dollars or something, but it was fourteen

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Speaker 2: dollars if it rounded up. And I just feel like

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Speaker 2: small things really add up, and that it's a way

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Speaker 2: that we really need to prioritize ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Not necessarily through.

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Speaker 2: Apps like that, but it's even if we just set

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Speaker 2: up an automatic transfer to our savings account of like

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Speaker 2: three dollars a day or something or five dollars. Like

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Speaker 2: remember ages ago, we're talking about putting your coffee money

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Speaker 2: into savings.

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Speaker 1: Like the small things really add up, and look at you.

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Speaker 2: You got four and a half grand saved and you're

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Speaker 2: saying you didn't even feel it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, never even noticed it going out of my accounts.

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Speaker 1: What moneyed in?

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Speaker 5: The best?

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Speaker 1: Oh the best.

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Speaker 5: And then I also do micro investing, so I have

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Speaker 5: Shaeseas and Steak and that's like my play money. So

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Speaker 5: they are total gambles, but I'm kind of doing okay

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Speaker 5: because it's play money and it's like I don't care

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Speaker 5: if I lose it. I've only put in one hundred

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Speaker 5: and seventy five bucks, but I've gotten some huge returns

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Speaker 5: on my picks there, so I've got about five hundred

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Speaker 5: bucks in those at the moment, So that's really good.

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Speaker 1: How cool?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and then part of fire, I have some investments

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Speaker 5: in ETFs via their self wealth apps. So I've only

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Speaker 5: got about two and a half grand in there at

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Speaker 5: the moment, but that's certainly where I'm funneling all of

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Speaker 5: my savings at the moment to into my ETFs.

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Speaker 1: Very cool.

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Speaker 2: She's very diversified, lots of platforms, lots of things you're

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Speaker 2: playing with.

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Speaker 1: I love it. We do want to flip this and

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Speaker 1: ask about debts now though, And.

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Speaker 2: I know that you a couple of years ago paid

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Speaker 2: off a pretty big debt, but do you currently.

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Speaker 1: Have any debts?

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Speaker 5: The only debt that I have is the mortgage, and

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Speaker 5: I'm so so proud of that. Consumer debt is all

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Speaker 5: completely gone.

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Speaker 1: Yay job. That's so exciting.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I yess beIN goosebumps when people say that, Like,

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Speaker 2: I kid you not. If you were here, you'd be

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Speaker 2: like you have very hairy, sticky uppy arms, fatoria. But

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Speaker 2: can you tell us a bit about that feeling? Like

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Speaker 2: paying off debt obviously is a really big undertaking. It

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Speaker 2: is the long slog like it takes ages, especially from

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Speaker 2: a situation like you were in.

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Speaker 1: What was that final day of payment?

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Speaker 5: Like, oh my gosh, it was amazing. So I was

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Speaker 5: just doing some sums one day and I just kind

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Speaker 5: of thought, oh my gosh, i think I've got enough,

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Speaker 5: like in the paying down debt bank account, I think

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Speaker 5: I've got enough to get the last little bit on

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Speaker 5: the card. So I made some phone calls and I

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Speaker 5: went and made the last payment and then oh gosh,

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Speaker 5: now what good look at me? Because I work from home.

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Speaker 5: So I raced next door and kind of said, oh

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Speaker 5: my gosh, I've just done it. I've just done the

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Speaker 5: last payment. Then I then I drove down the road

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Speaker 5: to the BWS and bought myself a really expensive bottle

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Speaker 5: of shit.

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Speaker 2: Ye yes, I feel like that is so well deserved

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Speaker 2: and that was probably the most delicious glass of champagne

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Speaker 2: you've had in your life.

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Speaker 1: Right, absolutely, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: That makes me so happy because so many times when

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Speaker 2: we're in these situations, it's stretches out, it takes forever,

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Speaker 2: and then you kind of click transfer and it feels

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Speaker 2: really non coincidental.

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Speaker 1: We're like, oh, that part of my life is done.

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Speaker 1: Like it's done. What do you mean? Like we need

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Speaker 1: to be celebrating this.

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Speaker 2: So I'm so glad you got the opportunity to run

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Speaker 2: next door and to get some champagne and to actually

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Speaker 2: enjoy it. And if you're listening to this and you're

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Speaker 2: in a similar situation, please celebrate those things because you

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Speaker 2: need to embrace them, like you don't want to just

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Speaker 2: sit there and go oh, because that's what I did.

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Speaker 2: Like when I paid off my personal debt, which was absolutely,

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Speaker 2: in no way, shape or form nearly as big as yours.

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Speaker 2: I just kind of like transferred it and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: we're done. Oh and I just I expected fireworks and

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Speaker 2: I got a submit screen. So so no, I'm so

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Speaker 2: proud of you.

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Speaker 1: How good?

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Speaker 2: All right, let's talk about more exciting things. We want

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Speaker 2: to get through these questions because Jess is trying to

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Speaker 2: wrap me up as usual. The next question, when you're

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Speaker 2: shopping online, do you use shopback?

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Speaker 5: I don't because I don't actually shop online. Is she

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Speaker 5: I have moved over to a cash system.

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Speaker 4: I was going to say, are you an envelope person?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? I am on the cash envelope stuffer, so all

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Speaker 5: of my spending is in cash.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, incredible.

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Speaker 5: I actually have my little folder just here with all

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Speaker 5: so cute, so I do cash stuffing. So my little

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Speaker 5: LA wallet comes with me whenever I want to go

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Speaker 5: and spend money. And aside from that, I can't spend

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Speaker 5: because I don't have cash.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, that's genius.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I am so surprised that so many

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Speaker 2: people are still using cash, because obviously I'm such a

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Speaker 2: taper card kind of gal. And go and I'm always

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Speaker 2: shocked that people still do it, but it makes so

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Speaker 2: much sense, Like, especially if you're a very visual learner

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Speaker 2: and you're more of a creative I find that having

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Speaker 2: it in front of you is the best way to go, Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is how much I have left. Even though you

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Speaker 2: know what's on your card, it's just such a different experience.

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Speaker 2: And then when you have to separate with the money,

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Speaker 2: it just feels different, so you're more like to put

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Speaker 2: another block between actually buying something. And it just makes sense,

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Speaker 2: like some people need cash systems, and you're obviously thriving

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Speaker 2: on it.

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Speaker 1: I love that.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I found that it really helps me to like

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Speaker 5: picture how much I'm going to have left, Like if

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Speaker 5: I've got let's say it's pay day and I've got

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Speaker 5: one hundred dollars worth of spending money in my purse.

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Speaker 5: If i want to go and get sushi and that's

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Speaker 5: going to cost me like thirty dollars, then that's taking

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Speaker 5: a third of the money out of my purse, Whereas

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Speaker 5: if I'm just tapping plastic, I don't notice it. But yeah,

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Speaker 5: with cash, I really think about it before I hand

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Speaker 5: it over.

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Speaker 1: How do you manage investments with cash.

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Speaker 5: I take the cash that I save up, so like

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Speaker 5: my my little investment envelope. I take that cash once

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Speaker 5: it hits a thousand dollars and I go and deposit

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Speaker 5: it in the back just at the atm Oh, how

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Speaker 5: can then do the online stuff after that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, airpic Oh, my gosh, I love that. That's so interesting.

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Speaker 2: All right, I feel like you're going to have a

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Speaker 2: really good answer to this. I want to know what

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Speaker 2: your best money habit is.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you're gonna love this. It's you.

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Speaker 1: Like, sit down, Victoria, you are not ready.

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Speaker 5: So I'm an analyst by trade, and I am huge

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Speaker 5: on spreadsheets and data. I have this massive spreadsheet that

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Speaker 5: has got every single bill I've ever paid and all

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Speaker 5: of the estimated amounts and dates going forward for the

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Speaker 5: next twelve months. It has our household budget. It has

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Speaker 5: how much needs to be transferred into each of our

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Speaker 5: little sub accounts when we get paid. It had all

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Speaker 5: of my credit card repayment projections so that I could

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Speaker 5: see when each card was due to get paid off. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: it's got everything. And now I do it on the

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Speaker 5: first day of every month, and I calculate my net

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Speaker 5: worth every month.

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Speaker 1: My gosh, so you did it yesterday? Were you excited

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Speaker 1: about it yesterday?

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Speaker 5: So excited?

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Speaker 1: How good? Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm going to be asking you for

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Speaker 2: your spreadsheet after this because I am so pervy on

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Speaker 2: people's spreadsheets.

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Speaker 1: It's bad. All right.

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00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,000
Speaker 2: Next question, We've got to bring the tone of this

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Speaker 2: conversation down. What's your worst money habit.

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Speaker 5: I think my worst my habit is probably that I

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Speaker 5: like a bit of luxury in my life. So I

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Speaker 5: am very fond of the finer things in life because

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Speaker 5: I struggled for so long. So now that I'm not

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Speaker 5: on struggle street anymore, Like I prefer to fly business,

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Speaker 5: and I really love saving up all of my points

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Speaker 5: so that I can upgrade to first class. And I

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Speaker 5: like splurging on expensive hotels, and like I don't just

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Speaker 5: get the basic room, I get the club room on

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Speaker 5: the high floor with the cocktail bar and the free nibbles.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, No, no, no, that's not a bad money habit.

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Speaker 2: That is you living your best life because you absolutely

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Speaker 2: deserve it. Absolutely, we're not having this argument. That's not

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Speaker 2: a bad money habit. Money direst I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: ask you for another one. But like I'm rendering that invalid. Terrible, terrible,

399
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,600
Speaker 2: terrible answer to that, I think that that is fantastic

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Speaker 2: and you absolutely deserve it. Like that is not a

401
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Speaker 2: bad money habit. That is you going gin know what,

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Speaker 2: Look how far I've come, and look how much I

403
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Speaker 2: get to enjoy my life Like that is so cool?

404
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Speaker 2: So all right, next before we go to a quick break,

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Speaker 2: is money Diarist, what grade would you give your money

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Speaker 2: habits if we forced you to give them a grade?

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Speaker 5: I'm going to put tickets on myself here.

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Speaker 1: You do, you absolutely do?

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Speaker 2: All right, We have lots of questions for you right

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Speaker 2: after this shortbreak. All right, money Diarist, we are back

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Speaker 2: and your story is huge. I am so inspired by you.

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Speaker 2: You have a full time job, you have two side hustles,

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Speaker 2: nearly three side hustles. Your side hustle turns over two

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Speaker 2: hundred grand a year. You're earning like one hundred grand

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Speaker 2: a year. But that is absolutely not where you have

416
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 2: come from. Can you tell us a little bit about

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Speaker 2: your history? In your email that you sent to us,

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Speaker 2: you said that you had been in the worst relationship

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Speaker 2: of your entire life, and there was credit going everywhere

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Speaker 2: and you didn't even know about half the credit cards.

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Speaker 2: I feel like listening to your diary and I know

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Speaker 2: other people are going to have, you know, been along

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Speaker 2: this same journey with me, I feel like I'm just

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Speaker 2: so inspired. You speak so confidently and you just sound

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Speaker 2: like this epic human that I can't right now comprehend

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Speaker 2: that that was your history. So can you tell us

427
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 2: a little bit about that and how that worked?

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Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, sure. So fourteen years ago I got involved

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Speaker 5: with a man who very quickly became my abuser, and

430
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Speaker 5: it was just the worst time of my life. Towards

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Speaker 5: the end, he was showing the scariest of all of

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Speaker 5: the abuse types, and I knew that if I stayed

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Speaker 5: much longer, I would die. I wouldn't make it out alive.

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Speaker 5: So ten years ago, sorry.

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Speaker 1: Your time, take your time.

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Speaker 4: I'm so sorry you're not. Don't hate to.

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Speaker 1: Talk about it.

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Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, no, it's it's all good. Heavy

439
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 5: right At that part, I just always go.

440
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Speaker 4: Ooh, that's a lot for someone to go through.

441
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,680
Speaker 5: It is, yeah, it really is. So ten years ago

442
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 5: I finally went and got some psychological help for the

443
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,480
Speaker 5: first time in my life, and my psychologist helped me

444
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 5: to find the strength within to leave. They say that

445
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,600
Speaker 5: it takes a survivor on average about seven attempts to

446
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,439
Speaker 5: get out, and I managed to do it on my

447
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:15,560
Speaker 5: sixth attempt, which I was really proud of above average.

448
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 5: I was just so happy, Like I got back in

449
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 5: touch with all of my friends and my family whom

450
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 5: my abuser had cut me off from. I could use

451
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 5: the bathroom without permission, I could go grocery shopping, I could,

452
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 5: you know, like I could just do anything I wanted

453
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,040
Speaker 5: and I didn't have someone yelling at me all the time.

454
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,400
Speaker 5: And it was like I just had this whole new life.

455
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 5: I'd escaped and I was free. And then a couple

456
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 5: of months later it kind of all turned back into

457
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,880
Speaker 5: a nightmare. I kind of found out that, well, these

458
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,560
Speaker 5: credit card statements just started showing up and I didn't

459
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 5: even know about them. It turned out that there had

460
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 5: been cards taken out in my name that like some

461
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 5: of them were even from banks. I'd never even heard of.

462
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,240
Speaker 5: The two credit cards that I did know that I had,

463
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,920
Speaker 5: I thought that they both had a two thousand dollar limit,

464
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 5: But when I finally got to see my bank statements

465
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,199
Speaker 5: for those, he'd increased those credit limits and he'd applied

466
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 5: for all these other ones in my name and bodged

467
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 5: my signature and stolen my driver's license and stuff, and

468
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,280
Speaker 5: then he'd maxed everything out. It took me tons and

469
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,240
Speaker 5: tons of digging, and I actually had to go and

470
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 5: get all of my credit reports so that I could

471
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 5: find out some of the cards because he'd put different

472
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 5: addresses on them, and the post wasn't even coming to

473
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 5: the house. So eventually I kind of tallied it all

474
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 5: up and it was one hundred and twenty six thousand

475
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 5: dollars that I owed, and I was just petrified. I

476
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,240
Speaker 5: was so scared. I had no idea how on earth

477
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 5: I was going to get out of that. And like

478
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 5: we were talking ten years ago, this was before the

479
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 5: banking reform and before banks had DV you know, and

480
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 5: hardship policies in place and things like that, so I

481
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,920
Speaker 5: was on the hook for all of it. I went

482
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:52,719
Speaker 5: to the police and they spoke to him, but he

483
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 5: said that I knew about them, and I'd signed all

484
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 5: the forms, so it turned into my word against his,

485
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 5: and I had no creased. It was awful. I briefly

486
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,400
Speaker 5: consider going bankrupt, but I knew that, like I wanted

487
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,280
Speaker 5: to buy a house and I knew that I wanted

488
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 5: to keep my options open, like for a possible career

489
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 5: change one day, because I know that if you've been bankrupt,

490
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,920
Speaker 5: you can't have some jobs. So I decided that bankruptcy

491
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 5: wasn't something that I personally wanted to go through. So, yeah,

492
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 5: I just I moved everything that I could across to

493
00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:24,920
Speaker 5: zero percent interest cards. I called all of the banks

494
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 5: and asked them to close the accounts and just let

495
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,560
Speaker 5: me pay them off slowly so that nothing else could

496
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 5: possibly get added to them.

497
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

498
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 5: Of course, it took me almost seven years, and the

499
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 5: total payback figure was two hundred and forty seven thousand,

500
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 5: four hundred and fourteen dollars and eighty four cents.

501
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,120
Speaker 4: The fact that you paid that amount of money off

502
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 4: in seven years is such a testament to your willpower

503
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 4: to be honest like that is a mind boggling amount

504
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,560
Speaker 4: of money, and to pay it off in such a

505
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,680
Speaker 4: short amount of time while recovering from trauma, while having

506
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 4: to set yourself up with a whole new life completely

507
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,760
Speaker 4: different from the one you had. That is no small feet.

508
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 4: That is incredibly impressive. So a big congratulations to you

509
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 4: for doing that.

510
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that was your experience, so impressed, Like

511
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 2: I just I also can see this now that you

512
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 2: had where you're like, look, I looked into my options

513
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,679
Speaker 2: and bankruptcy wasn't for me. And I think that so

514
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 2: many people in the moment. It's like you have blinkers

515
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,320
Speaker 2: on when you have that much debt staring you in

516
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 2: the face, especially having come out of a DV situation,

517
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 2: that they go, oh, that'll get me out of the situation. Okay,

518
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 2: let's just do that, and they think about the ramifications later.

519
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,639
Speaker 2: You were like, no, I'm going to look at my options,

520
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 2: Like imagine going through that situation and maintaining a level

521
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 2: head like you, my friend, are a superhuman like.

522
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 1: Who can actually do that?

523
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 2: But it's true, right, bankruptcy isn't for everybody, And if

524
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,480
Speaker 2: you want to work in certain areas or you know,

525
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 2: in a period of time you want to buy a house,

526
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 2: like that actually is going to stop you. So the

527
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 2: fact that you were like, you know what this is

528
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,880
Speaker 2: going to ask me x amount, I'm going to do it.

529
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:04,719
Speaker 1: I'm in awe of you, Like how cool.

530
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 2: So tell me a bit about the future, Like you've

531
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 2: obviously gotten out of this debt and started saving aggressively,

532
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,520
Speaker 2: which is very exciting because you want to achieve fire.

533
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 2: How quickly are we achieving that? Because if you can

534
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,560
Speaker 2: save two hundred and fifty grand in seven years, which

535
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 2: is basically what you did, you've taught yourself how to

536
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 2: do that.

537
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 1: What's next? Where are we going?

538
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 5: So we're hoping that we can relocate towards the end

539
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 5: of next year. We are aggressively paying down the mortgage

540
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 5: here at the moment. So along the way, while I

541
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 5: was paying down the debt, I also bought a block

542
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 5: of land. I saved up a deposit, I built a house.

543
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 5: What jes I met?

544
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,120
Speaker 1: This isn't made up pretend story. You can't be this good?

545
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,680
Speaker 5: Oh serious? I mean like I had a second job

546
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 5: to help with saving up the deposit and things. But yeah,

547
00:24:56,800 --> 00:25:02,879
Speaker 5: and I met a wonderful patient, kind, understanding human. I

548
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 5: got engaged and married. We had these two amazing overseas trips.

549
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 5: But I did all of those in a really scaled

550
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 5: down way. Like I bought the cheapest block of land

551
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 5: in a housing estate a long way away from where

552
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 5: I wanted to actually live. I built this minuscule little

553
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 5: house on it, so it was just big enough for

554
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 5: me and my dogs, and that was all that I

555
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 5: needed at the time because it was just me. So

556
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 5: when we got married, we had a micro wedding. There

557
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 5: were only like twenty people there and it was a

558
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 5: bit of a surprise. We only told the people who

559
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 5: were going to be invited to the wedding, and after

560
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 5: the ceremony, we just kind of jumped on a public

561
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,920
Speaker 5: bus and we went to a restaurant down the road

562
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 5: and I just had our wedding reception in a restaurant,

563
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 5: Like it was really scaled down, but it was all

564
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 5: we needed and wanted. We got to have the people

565
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,760
Speaker 5: who matted the most with us there for the day,

566
00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 5: and we didn't go into any debt for it, Like

567
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 5: I didn't get any cost us about five grands.

568
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: So that is so beyond special.

569
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 2: Like, I love that you've been able to achieve these

570
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 2: things along the way, because so many times paying of

571
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 2: debt that's that aggressive can often feel all consuming and overwhelming.

572
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: How did you know that going through that situation? How

573
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,159
Speaker 2: did you know that you could buy a block of

574
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,840
Speaker 2: land and build a house and do all of these things,

575
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 2: Like did you get advice or were you, you know,

576
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,399
Speaker 2: doing your own research? Obviously you're quite intelligent on your own,

577
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 2: But where did you get your resources? Because I'm sure

578
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 2: that there are some people listening right now that are

579
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 2: either in your situation or have been in your situation,

580
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 2: and I would love to know.

581
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 1: I guess what resources did you rely on?

582
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 5: Absolutely So, when I got myself free of the whole situation,

583
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 5: I got a lot of help from a domestic violence

584
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 5: support group in the city close to where I live,

585
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 5: and they were really really helpful with information about like

586
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 5: grants that you can get and lenders who are good

587
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 5: for helping you get back up on your feet again

588
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 5: and things like that. It was aired down, bum up,

589
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 5: get it done. I knew that I needed to get

590
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,159
Speaker 5: out of the situation I was in, and I just

591
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 5: put every spare second of my time towards achieving that goal.

592
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 2: And I did, oh my gosh, And if there was

593
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 2: somebody listening that was like, oh my gosh, this is

594
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 2: me in a nutshell, I am. Look, that's the worst

595
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 2: thing about these types of debts, right, like where people

596
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 2: are forging your signature, Like obviously you went to the police,

597
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 2: and I think that a lot of people would have

598
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 2: been thinking like, sure, you would have got the cops involved,

599
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 2: and you mentioned before you did, but you're right, it's

600
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,080
Speaker 2: your word against his, and I'm sure you could have

601
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 2: taken it further, but then it would have included legal

602
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 2: bills and you know, a lawyer and getting all of

603
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:44,479
Speaker 2: that and the emotional stress. Like, sometimes it is just better.

604
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying this in a way where I go,

605
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,199
Speaker 2: just pay the debt, like nobody wants to have to

606
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 2: do that, but sometimes you just go, do you know what.

607
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 2: I know that's a lot of money, but I'd prefer

608
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 2: to pay that than have any conversation about this person.

609
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:56,440
Speaker 5: Ever.

610
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 1: Again, like, is that the situation you were in?

611
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,119
Speaker 5: Absolutely? One hundred percent. I knew that. Like I couldn't

612
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 5: even show up to when you have a devo, you

613
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 5: have to go back for another hearing to have it extended,

614
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,919
Speaker 5: and I couldn't even show up to that because I

615
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 5: was just too I couldn't be in the same room.

616
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:19,320
Speaker 5: So absolutely it was a case of I just I

617
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 5: need to put this behind me, and the way that

618
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 5: is going to be kindest on my soul to do

619
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,120
Speaker 5: that is to get it done myself.

620
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 4: What steps did you take following on from that? Obviously

621
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 4: you've made that decision, which is a really big and

622
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 4: hard decision to make. What steps did you take to

623
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 4: prevent yourself from finding out that he had opened more

624
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 4: credit cards or done something, Because obviously you've separated yourself

625
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 4: from him, you've taken yourself out of that situation. But obviously,

626
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,680
Speaker 4: historically you didn't know what he was doing. He was

627
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 4: doing it without your permission. He'd obviously figured out how

628
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,959
Speaker 4: to forge your signature. Were there any things, particularly that

629
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 4: you did to make sure that that couldn't happen again?

630
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 5: I did. Actually, there is a legal service specifically for

631
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 5: women who have escaped from domestic violence, and the legal

632
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 5: service actually assisted me by drafting a letter that I sent.

633
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 5: I had it certified by JPS, and had it sent

634
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 5: with my id off to oh gosh, it must have

635
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,720
Speaker 5: been about thirty or forty financial institutions that kind of said,

636
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 5: I guarantee you I will never be applying for credit,

637
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 5: do not accept anything with my details. And nothing has

638
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 5: ever come up. I have all of my credit reports

639
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 5: emailed to me once a month.

640
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,440
Speaker 1: Now, that's a great idea.

641
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 5: And so nothing else has ever come up. I check regularly,

642
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 5: and I think I'm in the all clear now.

643
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: So you found out a lot of these debts because

644
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 2: you looked at your credit score. And I feel like

645
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 2: so many people in this situation, like you wouldn't have

646
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: had any need to look into your credit score before that, right,

647
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 2: but you would have uncovered it a lot earlier had

648
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: you checked it.

649
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: Is that something that you go, bloody hell, Victoria, I

650
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 1: wish I'd known about that?

651
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 2: Or is that something where you're like, do you know what?

652
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 2: I'm glad that I just got out and I am done,

653
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 2: because they feel like credit scores some people just don't

654
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 2: even know that they can check them.

655
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,440
Speaker 5: I'm of two minds. I've delved into a lot of

656
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 5: stuff from that time period with my shrink, and I'm

657
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 5: of two minds. Part of me wishes that having those

658
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 5: credit reports sent to every person as soon as you

659
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 5: hit eighteen, everybody should sign up for these credit reports

660
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 5: and have them sent to you all the time, because

661
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 5: it's not just TV. It can just be you know,

662
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 5: going on holiday to Thailand and swiping your credit card

663
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 5: somewhere and having it cloned exact. Lot of those things

664
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,320
Speaker 5: are important, But there's another part of me that is like, well,

665
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 5: if I had known back then before I was ready

666
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 5: to escape. I would have just accepted what he was

667
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 5: telling me, and I wouldn't have been able to fight back,

668
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 5: and then it might have even been worse.

669
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 2: Yes, So yeah, isn't it interesting how in hindsight you go,

670
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 2: you know what, it was a really shitty situation, but

671
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: the cards fell out in exactly the right way that

672
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: they were meant to And now you're in this beautiful

673
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 2: position that you absolutely deserve to be in. And I

674
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: guess you're the light at the end of the tunnel

675
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 2: for everybody in this situation who goes, oh, I just

676
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 2: can't see it, like you can't because you only get

677
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: to see it in hindsight. Like it's crazy to think that,

678
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,239
Speaker 2: you know, fourteen years ago, you didn't see yourself in

679
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 2: this position. Like what would you say to yourself fourteen

680
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 2: year younger you?

681
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 5: I think I would probably say that I can survive anything,

682
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 5: that I have the drive and the passion and the

683
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 5: will inside of me, but more importantly, that I have

684
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 5: to strength and everybody has it. You just need to

685
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 5: figure out how to harness it. And I also firmly

686
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 5: believe that if anyone is in a similar situation and

687
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 5: they don't know how to get out, Go and speak

688
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 5: to your GP, Go and get yourself a mental health

689
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 5: care plan, and then go and get some sessions are free.

690
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 5: Get some free sessions with a psychologist, and they will

691
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 5: help you to find that strength and that power within

692
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 5: and will help you get safe because without knowing how

693
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 5: to escape a relationship like that safely, it can actually

694
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:12,360
Speaker 5: be really dangerous. But because of my shrink, we got

695
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 5: a whole heap of stuff all kind of lined up

696
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 5: and got all the docks in a row, and it

697
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 5: made making that break so much easier because I had

698
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 5: someone there to kind of take control and say these

699
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,239
Speaker 5: other steps were going to follow, and I didn't know

700
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 5: what steps I needed to do.

701
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you have no idea because you've never been

702
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 2: in that situation before, Like why would you know that?

703
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: But you've brought up a really important point, and that's

704
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: that these situations are and can be incredibly dangerous. Like

705
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,960
Speaker 2: as you said before, it's incredibly hard to hear, and sadly,

706
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 2: it's not the first time I've heard that. It's if

707
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 2: I don't leave, I will lose my life, and it's

708
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 2: not a case. And I think it's such a naive

709
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:53,720
Speaker 2: point of view, and people are like, well, why didn't

710
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 2: you just leave? Like, no, that's not how this works.

711
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 2: As you said before, it takes seven times. It took

712
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 2: you six, which is very, very impressive. But you actually

713
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,520
Speaker 2: need a plan. You need to put your ducks in

714
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 2: a row, because it's not just about you, it's about

715
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 2: the whole situation unfolding in the way that it needs

716
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 2: to unfold, because otherwise you're in a worse off situation

717
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 2: than you were in.

718
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 1: The first place.

719
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely, so, one of the best tips I can you know,

720
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 2: recommend is obviously what you said, money direst go to

721
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 2: your GP, but the National Debt Helpline, I'm obsessed with them,

722
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 2: Like they have so many good free resources, they have

723
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 2: free financial counselors. They have been through all of this before.

724
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 2: It n't their first rodeo, sadly, but go talk to

725
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,959
Speaker 2: people who are there for you and it doesn't have

726
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: to cost money, Like absolutely GP free sessions and articulate

727
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 2: that to your GP. You want to see someone and

728
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,239
Speaker 2: you want it bulk build. You don't want to have

729
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 2: any excess or any over and that you need that

730
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 2: and they're going to prioritize it. They're going to only

731
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 2: refer you to somebody who that could work for. But

732
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 2: you really need to articulate that need, because there's nothing

733
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 2: worse than going, oh, I need to get some psych help,

734
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 2: and you go to the GP and then they refer

735
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 2: you to someone and there's like a gap of like

736
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 2: sixty bucks and you're like, I can't, I can't. So

737
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 2: make sure that you're articulating what you need, because that's

738
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,759
Speaker 2: actually so beyond powerful to be able to say, you

739
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: know what, I just need a little bit of help

740
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 2: right now, because we all do one hundred percent.

741
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 5: And when I was like still in the relationship, I

742
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,840
Speaker 5: didn't have a card for my own bank account. He

743
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 5: had it, so I had no access to money of

744
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,480
Speaker 5: any kind. He would top up my train ticket, you know,

745
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 5: he would do the grocery shopping. I had no access

746
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 5: to cash. So if I couldn't go to a bulk

747
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 5: billing GP and get referred to a bulk billing psychologist,

748
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 5: I don't think I would have been able to get out.

749
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,319
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, you are so powerful. I am so impressed.

750
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: Money Direst. Thank you so much for coming and sharing

751
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 2: your story. I know that there are going to be

752
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: people listening to this going.

753
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 1: How did she do that. That's insane, that's incredible.

754
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: But some of the most powerful people I know have

755
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 2: been through situations like yours and honestly the most inspiring

756
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: humans I know. So thank you so much for sharing

757
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,719
Speaker 2: that with us. Oh my gosh, Jess, what a powerhouse.

758
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 4: Incredible And if you are in a similar situation, check

759
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 4: out the show notes. We will have a whole host

760
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 4: of resources available to you. And if you know someone

761
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 4: who's going through something like this, reach out because I

762
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 4: think that it's hard to feel alone, but there are

763
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,160
Speaker 4: absolutely people and resources out there that can help you.

764
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 5: You're not alone.

765
00:35:27,719 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 4: We're here exactly right.

766
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,439
Speaker 5: Thanks so much for having me on the show. Guys.

767
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 5: I've been a listener for so long and I'm just

768
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 5: so happy that I could come on and be maybe

769
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 5: a little bit of a voice of inspiration for some

770
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 5: of your other listeners.

771
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 1: So thank you. Oh Mada, you are huge, You are massive.

772
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:42,880
Speaker 1: I'm obsessed.

773
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for coming, Jess. Do you want

774
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:46,920
Speaker 2: to wrap the boring but important bids?

775
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 5: Yeah?

776
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 2: Of course.

777
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 4: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

778
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 4: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

779
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 4: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

780
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 4: not be relied upon to make an investment or a

781
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,640
Speaker 4: financial decision. And we've Thomas, Victoria Devine and she's on

782
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 4: the money. Are authorized representatives of Infocused Securities Australia Proprietary

783
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 4: Limited ABN four seven oh nine seven seven nine seven

784
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 4: O four nine if SL two three six five two

785
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:12,239
Speaker 4: three zero

786
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 2: On Wednesday, guys, bye,