WEBVTT - FULL SHOW: Attempting to teach Laura how to SEXT 🥵 0:00:12.600 --> 0:00:18.640 Laura and come on hello everyone. 0:00:18.960 --> 0:00:23.119 Hey guys, Swifty is coming to town this weekend. 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.040 You made it something like the Christmas song and Swift 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:26.279 has come and that's not. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:28.760 How the Christmas So no one calls Swift mate, it's Taylor. 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:30.280 Yeah, but we're one day closer. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:34.200 Swift is exciting sowt okay, we're all going to a separately, 0:00:34.200 --> 0:00:36.000 but she's starting in Melbourne. We're obviously going to the 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:36.640 Sydney show. 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:40.559 I'm thinking her boyfriend, Travis Kelsey, if he's just won 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:42.400 the super Bowl, he's off, he's on holiday. 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:44.960 I reckon he's going to turn up to every single show. 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:47.960 I reckon he's coming on tour. You get bored, like 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:49.519 going to every single one. Do you think that'd a 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:51.000 come a point where you're like, oh, sit this one out, 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:52.400 just get some takeaway. 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:55.160 Taylor Swift, you'd be so into it. There's so many songs. 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.280 You got a private jet and you've seen a new country, 0:00:57.320 --> 0:00:58.840 and she's got the power to do whatever you want. 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:00.000 I don't think he's going to get bored. 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:01.520 That was not a private jet. It's not like he's 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:03.800 got to get on a you know, Cafe Pacific flight 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:05.920 and economy and get his way to Sitdney. 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:08.640 He's not a private jet, he's having parties on his jet. 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:10.880 He's getting a tailor sweet concert. You'd be O, my god. 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:13.360 Could you imagine if that was your partner, Just how 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:16.080 proud you would be watching her perform to like one 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:17.720 hundred thousand people screaming like. 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:19.520 I don't think that feeling would ever get old. 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:22.720 Imagine sending your partner a text and knowing that that's 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.160 the person on stage, like you know that their phone's backstage, 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:27.520 like sending them a little a little text, being like 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:30.280 like what you did there? Yeah, Yeah, your arse looks good. 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:32.760 You know. I mean it's very cute, isn't it. I've 0:01:32.760 --> 0:01:34.520 got my outfit, finally. I feel like I'm getting that 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:36.000 a little bit closer and a little bit more excited. 0:01:36.160 --> 0:01:38.160 Laura is teasing this like she's going to turn up 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:41.520 looking like she's probably gone to double Lane and got 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:43.479 a nice little, excuse me turtleneck. 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:45.959 I've gone to war to get a turtleneck. How do 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:46.560 you think I am? 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:50.120 Shut up, bitch, get out of here. 0:01:50.320 --> 0:01:52.600 I'm sure you look beautiful. Thank you, Sure you will. 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:54.600 Thank you in my like yeah, rolled in glitterately. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.480 No you're hot. You are hot. Everyone who goes to 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:59.760 Taylor is just hot. And listen if you don't have to, oh. 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:01.680 Really that's what that's part of my up yet escal 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:06.400 on my knees though, well sorry, just like a long. 0:02:06.280 --> 0:02:10.079 Piece of rope. Hey, if you want to get to 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:11.880 Tailor Swift, if you don't have them yet, here at 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:14.680 the pickup, we are giving you your chance at an 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:16.840 entire row for you and all your friends to win 0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:19.240 your shot. In the next fifteen minutes. We're your home 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:19.880 of Taylor Swift. 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:21.200 Very excited, absolutely excited. 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:24.240 Now speaking of nipple tassels, it is Valentine's Day, so 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:28.000 Happy Valentine's Day, Happy v Day to the world. It 0:02:28.040 --> 0:02:31.200 has been released officially by Vodaphone. They can go through 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:33.840 your phone, so they know better than anyone else the 0:02:33.919 --> 0:02:36.200 sexy texting habits of Australia. 0:02:36.360 --> 0:02:38.080 I reckon they do go through it. How else will 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:38.440 they know. 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:38.840 They have to? 0:02:38.919 --> 0:02:42.440 They don't legalities, but someone's hacked your phone for sure. 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:44.120 Now one's sitting here with my tinful hat on and 0:02:44.160 --> 0:02:45.600 my nipple tassels and I'm ready to go home. 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:47.360 Let's get started. 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:50.880 Great mentally to pick up surprisingly all right, those stats. 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:52.680 Next Happy v dates the pick up thanks to Kevis 0:02:52.680 --> 0:02:56.040 Squarehouse head on in today Great savings every day. So 0:02:56.080 --> 0:03:01.360 it is Valentine's Day, So votaphone is done. Is they 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:05.120 have released the sexting habits of Australians, So naughty texts 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:08.520 that people send, couples send and situationships and whatever not. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:11.160 So they're calling it the red Hot Love Index, which 0:03:11.200 --> 0:03:13.280 looks at yeah, the sexy texts that are sent out. 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:16.600 These are some interesting stats for your Britain, Laura. On 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:19.920 Valentine's Day last year, more than thirteen point eight million 0:03:20.000 --> 0:03:23.959 calls were made and over fifty eight million texts were sent. 0:03:24.000 --> 0:03:26.000 That's a fourteen percent increase texting. 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:26.560 Ye're on? 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:26.880 Yeah. 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:29.040 I mean that a lot of them might be you know, 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:31.400 like loving text you be my Valentine. 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:33.440 They don't have to all be sexting babe, Can you 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:34.359 bring some milk home? 0:03:34.840 --> 0:03:38.040 Surely one in five Australians, mostly men. These are some 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.680 interesting stats. We're planning on sending a risk a text 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:42.160 on Feb fourteen. I don't know how they got. 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:47.000 That, no, do you know what they almost did? 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.360 This must have been an anonymous survey though, because I 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:50.800 saw the same one that you're talking about, Mitch. And 0:03:50.800 --> 0:03:52.320 there was one thing on there which really stood out 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:54.200 to me, and it was like one fifth of men 0:03:54.240 --> 0:03:56.720 were planning on texting as many as seven women. So 0:03:56.800 --> 0:03:59.320 if you get a text this Valentine's Day from a guy, 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.520 I think he's probably text six other women at the 0:04:02.560 --> 0:04:03.040 same time. 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.280 But lore eighty three percent of women were also planning 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:06.400 on sexting three people. 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:08.600 Yeah, all right, look, you got to keep your options open. 0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:11.000 The best part of numbers game, Baby, they got stats 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.560 from each state. So the Northern Territory is the state 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:17.400 most likely to send a naughty text, followed by act Tasmania, 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.320 then New South Wales and South Australia, which just shocks 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:20.839 me completely. 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:23.920 This is ridiculous. How do they know who was thinking 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:24.839 about sending it? 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.040 Also, the idea, I don't know if I love it 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:29.880 or hate it, the idea of people sending bulk sexts 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.360 out like to seven people at a time, as long 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:34.320 as I guess it's a copy and paste of the content, 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:36.320 but not the Katie. 0:04:36.720 --> 0:04:39.520 That's why you use baby, so dous do you guys 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:43.039 send naughty texts? Britt because your partner lives overseas I'm. 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:46.400 In a long distance relationship. Ben lives in Scotland, so yes, 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:48.920 one hundred percent. We have to live our life through 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:51.599 via a phone, via FaceTime, so we've had some interesting moments, 0:04:51.640 --> 0:04:52.000 for sure. 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:53.520 I like to think I'm pretty good at it. 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.960 With the time difference, though, you'd be aroused, you'd send 0:04:56.040 --> 0:04:57.640 him a photo and then you'd have to wait six 0:04:57.680 --> 0:04:58.599 hours for him to wake up. 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.680 It's a real move killer. It definitely doesn't set the tone. 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:04.039 It's always like getting into it and you're like, sorrow, 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.039 baby fell asleep eight hours later. I never mind up 0:05:06.080 --> 0:05:06.440 at work now. 0:05:06.880 --> 0:05:07.200 Of course. 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:08.120 That's really hard. 0:05:08.200 --> 0:05:08.960 Laura, you're Maddy. 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:11.800 Do you know I've seen your phone? I know you do. 0:05:12.120 --> 0:05:14.000 I know that this is like part of your normal. 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:16.040 Like I'm in a relationship with a twenty one year old, 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:17.800 so that's all I do. I've never actually met the 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:19.960 mess the only way you can just purely sex. I 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:20.720 don't even know his name. 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:22.600 I don't know if this is just the case when 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:24.760 you're in like a long long term relationship like Matt 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:26.320 and I've been together for seven and a half years 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:28.840 now and we've got two kids, and I think at 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.560 the start we used to be quite good at it. 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:33.280 But now it's been it's been so long since I've 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:36.120 sent him a naughty text, and I now it's to 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:37.640 the point where if I was to send him a 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:39.839 naughty text, it would be awkward. Laura would be so 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:42.520 she has I have no I will back her. 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:44.960 She doesn't. I have not none, none. 0:05:45.440 --> 0:05:48.240 I wouldn't think that there's a remotely sexy thing about show. 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:50.040 What would you text Matt? Tell him? 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:52.440 Tell us can you pick the kids up this afternoon? 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:54.720 Because that's what gets to go. Hey, honey, can you 0:05:54.760 --> 0:05:56.840 please get a kid? Real honey, can you please make 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:58.120 sure that you take the green bin out? 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.360 Try some of your dirty talk? Now I know I 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:03.200 have no do I can buy the music again. Just 0:06:03.200 --> 0:06:06.680 give us some of your dirty talk, cleasure. I'm Matt, 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:08.480 your beautiful partner you met on the TV. 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.039 Felt more uncomfortable in this show in my entire What 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:13.440 if we not? What if I've got telling Laura what 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:15.159 to say and see how she can do it, I'd 0:06:15.160 --> 0:06:17.159 be like, Hey, I can't. 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.680 Okay, Hey honey, maybe tonight. 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:26.839 Oh my god, maybe tonight. Maybe tonight, Like it's not 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.680 a definite, I will sleep with you. It's fifty fifty. 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:31.280 I don't want to commit in cases I don't feel 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:35.000 like I might get done, change my mind. Okay, hold 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:37.000 on what you have a bad night and then it's 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:37.480 not happening. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:39.279 Just relax, The kids will be fine. 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:42.400 Sometimes we do put Coco melon on downstairs and we 0:06:42.480 --> 0:06:44.720 run upstairs for a quickie, but there's no talk about it. 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:45.400 It just happens. 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:49.000 Let's write some messages. Why don't you text Matt now 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:50.799 by the end of the show, we'll get his reply 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:51.640 and see what he said. 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.320 I have nothing to text you. Okay, we will do 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:57.360 it because Mitch and I are both producer grace. 0:06:57.400 --> 0:06:58.680 Can we say what we want to say on air 0:06:58.800 --> 0:06:59.800 or do we have to just text it because we 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:01.880 don't want to get it upset because it's pretty vulgar. 0:07:02.080 --> 0:07:04.479 No, we can just do something really top line. It 0:07:04.600 --> 0:07:07.520 just gets that just plants the thought, plants the seed. 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:10.840 I'm sorry, You're going to do the dirty talk for me, 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:12.080 and then I'm going to send this. 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:12.720 To my husband. 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:16.000 Yeah, yeah, okay, ready, terrible idea. 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:19.320 I think you should start with music Queans. 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:27.840 Hey, baby, I've just been feeling really tight today. My 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:31.720 shoulders are so tight and I feel really tense. I 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:35.559 feel really tense and I've just seemed to be thinking 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:36.520 about you all day. 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:37.680 It's just crazy. 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:40.960 And then you say, when I get home, if only 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:43.280 there was a big burly man to pick me up 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:45.760 and relieve me of some of that stress. What time 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.960 do you finish? Well send it. We're going to go 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.480 to some songs and when we come back, Australia's heart 0:07:50.480 --> 0:07:53.000 throw Mattie J will have reply. Is that the most 0:07:53.000 --> 0:08:00.240 action he's had in how long have you been married? D? Okay, 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:03.480 we will get bringing that update seriously. Well, hey, your 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:05.640 chance at the Taylor Swift tickets happening in literal minutes. 0:08:05.680 --> 0:08:07.440 We'll go to some traffic, then your chance here at 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:07.840 the pick up. 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:10.880 Okay, if you guys just missed it. 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:13.360 We were talking about how Votera phones brought out this like, 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:15.160 I don't even know what you call it. It's like 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:19.400 a sexty, what Australians are doing on Valentine Index, the 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:23.200 Red Hot Lover Report, And off the back of that, 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:25.000 I was saying that over the last seven and a 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.559 half years of being in a relationship with my husband Matt, 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:31.120 I have lost the art and the skill of sending 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.920 sexy text messages we just don't do it. And now 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:35.560 it's gone to a point where it feels very, very 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:39.720 awkward for me and Britta Mitch both made me send 0:08:39.720 --> 0:08:41.120 my husband to text Laura. 0:08:41.160 --> 0:08:42.880 We felt so bad for you. It was dreadful which 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:43.240 I had this. 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:45.520 I can't wait to get home and see you tonight. 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:47.440 I've been thinking about you all day as soon as 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:49.560 the kids are in bed. It's been a big day, 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:52.840 so much tension. Just need someone to pick me up 0:08:52.880 --> 0:09:00.160 and relieve me. I've been feeling so tight that not 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:03.960 even dirty. This is the beiges of dirty talks. 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.080 But he wrote, supposed to be just set the tone lightly, 0:09:07.160 --> 0:09:08.000 you going hard? 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.000 Call lord? Yeah, baby, I was setting the tone and he. 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:15.040 Wrote back bit gassy, question Mark, And I said, no, 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:16.040 I'm being serious. 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:18.839 And he's really confused by this, and he. 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:21.440 Wrote, sorry, you want me to physically pick you up, 0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:23.920 question Mark and carry you up the stairs? 0:09:24.040 --> 0:09:25.880 You say, well, loser, this meaning when I've got to 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:27.760 break it down for your buddy. Okay, Well no, that's 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:29.200 what do I run next? What's the next? 0:09:29.760 --> 0:09:30.080 Yes? 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.480 Yes, but yes, but the stairs isn't what I'm worried about. 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:34.360 The bed. The bed is the destination. 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:36.400 Make sure you pick your close up after because I'm 0:09:36.400 --> 0:09:37.360 clean friend watching. 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:40.520 It's almost like watching your friend who's just turned they got. 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.320 Their first again. I feel worried about you. 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:45.559 I'm nervous, but not in like the sex talk kind 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:49.040 of hot way, like in what is happening? What's he said? 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:50.400 You want a bit of sexy time? 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:57.520 Eh? Yes, that's good, he said, are you going to 0:09:57.600 --> 0:09:58.120 service me? 0:09:58.400 --> 0:09:58.720 Lady? 0:09:59.400 --> 0:09:59.640 Wow? 0:09:59.679 --> 0:10:03.000 All right? That's oh God, the true Maddie Jay coming out? 0:10:03.200 --> 0:10:04.040 Is he gonna die when? 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:09.400 There is nothing romantic about this soundser Are you going 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:10.040 to service me? 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:10.959 You want to check? 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:12.360 I get your oils checked. 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:12.679 Baby. 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.480 There is nothing about this carry on that is sexy, 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:17.120 and maybe that's why I gave up the sexy talk 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:17.720 in the first place. 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:22.720 Should we call him Brittain, No, No, let's call Maddie Ja. 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:24.880 Just continue it. Just you need to just continue. I 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.319 don't have a Laura. This is a challenge that Britta 0:10:27.320 --> 0:10:29.240 and I have given. You. Just have to say texting 0:10:29.280 --> 0:10:31.560 what I felt it so deeply in my bones. I 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:33.920 needed to hear your voice. Just try it. 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.360 Just please don't let me do that. No, I actually can't. 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:37.560 You can you can? 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:46.080 So you have to I'm turning out mics soft Britt, Hello, Hello, Gooday. 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:50.079 I just you know you sent that message, and well, 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:53.680 I was just thinking about us, that's all what you thinking. 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:55.719 I was thinking about all the things I want to 0:10:55.760 --> 0:10:56.320 do to you later. 0:10:58.080 --> 0:11:01.440 Oh, like propagate me. 0:11:02.760 --> 0:11:08.640 Yeah, take all my clothes off and yours. 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:13.520 I can't tell if you're crying or laughing. I'm overcome 0:11:13.559 --> 0:11:14.000 with emotion. 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:16.640 That's wrong. 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:22.000 Look, I think we should practice for our third baby. 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:25.640 Just practice. I mean, let's not get too carried away. 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.000 What part do we need to practice? 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:35.040 The horizontal dance of love part? Okay, we can. 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:36.760 We can practice for timy home. 0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:40.560 I'll be home at six o'clock. And then we get 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:42.680 the kids into bed, Get them into bed. 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:44.520 You know. We can put some music on. We can 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:48.240 undress each other. What kind of music would you want? 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:50.600 Maybe something like this? 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:56.280 Slowly, and then we can set the candles. You know, 0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.040 we can just be slow with each take our time. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:01.640 It's Valentine's Day, after all. 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:03.520 I do like to rush, don't. 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:06.720 I'm going to give you the best five minutes of 0:12:06.720 --> 0:12:07.360 your life. 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:09.960 I actually can't keep doing this. 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:15.600 I'm so welcome you to the pick up. 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:17.600 Sorry, we challenged Laura to dirty talk you. 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.760 I cannot. I can't dirty talk. He knows that he's 0:12:20.760 --> 0:12:21.400 my husband. 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:25.160 We're both pretty bad it dirty talking. But just to confirm, 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.920 are we gonna do? I still get my special treats. 0:12:28.520 --> 0:12:30.760 Look, you can get a special treat but please never 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:31.640 make me do that again. 0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.400 I've never felt more visceral, enclas. I feel so bad 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:35.120 for your relation. 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:36.040 That was terrible. 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:37.959 It's the only time you two have ever made love 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:41.280 when those two kids were made No, thank you, Maddy 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:42.520 j We feel sorry for you. 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.160 Mate. I'm like in the mood now, wait where are 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:45.680 you going going? 0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.840 Wait? Just Mitch and get you in the mood as well. 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:50.880 All three of us here we are, Hey, honey, Mitchell 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:55.560 sextu later? Was that laughter or crying? 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.880 I think something else? Or we've heard about Laura's v day? 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:01.520 Oh, I just think that Valentine's Day. It doesn't always 0:13:01.559 --> 0:13:03.000 go to plan. And I've had a bit of a 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:05.760 disaster one last year that reminded me. 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:07.319 For all those other people out there, I want to 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:07.920 tell you about it. 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:11.200 If you also have a disaster, you're not alone and 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:12.080 we want to hear about it. 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:13.920 Thirty one oh six five. If you've had a disaster 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:15.320 Valentine's Day, please call. 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:16.559 Up and let us know. All right, that's next on 0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:17.079 the pickup. 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:20.400 It is Valentine's Day, and we do love love, and 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:22.560 we love hearing all the love stories. But there's a 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.079 bunch of people out there that don't want to hear that. 0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:27.160 There's a bunch of people out there that are not 0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:31.720 loved up that want to hear Valentine's Day Gone wrong thirteen, Yeah, 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:33.760 thirty one, oh sixty five. If you have a story 0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:36.720 about a Valentine's Day present that was horrific or Valentine's 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.560 Day gone wrong, let me know. Last year, for me, 0:13:40.000 --> 0:13:43.080 I was in a very new relationship with my partner Ben. 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.679 We probably only like six weeks deep, and he lives 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:49.640 over in Scotland, so we're long distance and it's new right, 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:54.000 honeymoon phase, obsessive phase, you know, like want to do 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:54.840 the best impression. 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:56.640 So Valentine's Day comes. 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:59.240 Last year, it's the day before it's Valentine's Day Eve, 0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:01.320 and I'm driving to work in the car with my 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.800 friend and we're talking to Bed on the phone and 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:05.040 we're just having a fun conversation. 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:06.760 I'm like, Ben, have you ever gotten like a bad 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:09.760 Valentine and stay present. And he's like, not really, I 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:12.800 don't really get a present, have you? And I said, oh, 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:14.400 not a bad one, I said, but there are those 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:16.240 presents that just give you the ick, you know, those 0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:18.600 presents that you're like, why do they exist? Why do 0:14:18.640 --> 0:14:20.920 people send them? I don't get it. He's like, what 0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:25.520 do you mean? It's like Teddy Bears, dumb? Why do 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:29.520 people send adults teddy Bears? They're juvenile, they're for children. 0:14:29.760 --> 0:14:31.640 No adults put in a collection of Teddy Bears on 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:32.800 their bed, right, Laura. 0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.440 I mean some people like Teddy Bears, but they're not 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:36.680 for me. Okay, I feel like it's any The problem 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:39.880 is it's any traditional Valentine's Day gift, like as in 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:42.000 and I'm talking like the real stock standard stuff like 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.160 the little weird Teddy Bears you get from service stations. 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:47.560 So I'm like, I'm like teddy bears, dumb. Uh. Flowers 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:49.960 in a box dumb? Who sends a fly? 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:51.840 And I don't mean flowers like roses that are put 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:54.920 in a box to have protection. I'm talking about these 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:57.680 little flowers that come in a box that's like five 0:14:57.720 --> 0:14:59.960 centimes high, and the flowers just stuck in. 0:15:02.440 --> 0:15:04.440 That's full of water because you can't try out. 0:15:04.480 --> 0:15:07.440 It's very practical, not really cute flowers belong in a 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:08.200 beautiful vase. 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.800 So I just don't think those little, short, stubby flowers 0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:11.240 in a box. 0:15:11.640 --> 0:15:12.360 I don't bube them. 0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.000 So you were on a ranch in the car and 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:16.040 then the. 0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:18.880 Topp I was and I was like, look, because I 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.880 love flowers. I do love them, but I'm like roses. 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:22.600 They still triggered me a little bit. And I was 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:24.640 on the Bachelor. I got dumped, you know, first person 0:15:24.720 --> 0:15:28.400 to not get picked ever, Yeah, the history of ever trigger. 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.680 So I'm going on and on about this to the band. 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:34.600 I'm like flowers in a box Teddy bears roses. He's quiet, 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:38.920 he's quite quiet, and he's like, okay. 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.440 Think nothing of it. Valentine's Day comes the next day 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:47.840 and I get a delivery of literally flowers in a 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.880 box of roses in the shape of a giant Teddy Bear. 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:55.480 I meet a high everything. I said to Ban and 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:58.560 I felt I've never felt worse. And I called him 0:15:58.560 --> 0:15:59.800 and I said, oh my god, thank you so much. 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:01.840 He's like, no, you don't, I know you hate it. 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:04.320 And I said no, no, no, no, it's actually beautiful. 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:05.880 I was like, I'm gonna put it in my lunge room, 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:09.240 so I had it there. Okay, I mean I witnessed 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:11.720 this first hand. It was hideous, but also I think 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:12.640 it's a satire. 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:16.480 No, yeah, look, it's you don't want to criticize because like, 0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:18.800 it's so nice to get something, but if you get 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:20.680 something that you're like, oh, I'm probably gonna throw it 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:21.880 on a couple of weeks. 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:22.920 Well what do you do with it? I reckon this 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:23.440 was satire. 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.880 I think he knew and he was like a giant 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:27.360 sized novelty Teddy Bear Flowers. 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:28.920 He's not in the country, so you can just dump 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:29.920