1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: As one of Australia's favorite TV presenters, you won't be 2 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: surprised to learn Melissa Doyle fields a lot of requests 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: for career advice, but at the beginning of her own career, 4 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: she just wanted to become like the women she admired. 5 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: She imitated their voices and studied their styles, but quickly 6 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,799 Speaker 1: realized she would never truly be like her heroes because 7 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: she would always be herself. When she first cried on camera, 8 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: Mel was mortified, humiliated by her own lack of professionalism, 9 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: but upon reflection, she understood that her outburst was an 10 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: honest reflection of who she really was. So how did 11 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: Mel learn to not just accept her true self, but 12 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: to tap into it like a superpower. My name is 13 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: doctor Amanthea. I'm an organizational psychologist and the founder of 14 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:07,480 Speaker 1: behavioral science consultancy Inventium, and this is how I work 15 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,720 Speaker 1: a show about how to help you do your best work. 16 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,280 Speaker 1: On today's My Favorite Tip episode, we go back to 17 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 1: an interview from the past and I pick up my 18 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: favorite tip from the interview. In today's show, I speak 19 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: with Mel Doyle and we start by talking about the 20 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:27,199 Speaker 1: advice she finds herself giving again and again. 21 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 2: For me, the most important thing is recognizing who you are, because, 22 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 2: and I say this to my kids, we're all cogs 23 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 2: in a wheel, but we're all vital, but we're all 24 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 2: a little bit different. We all have something else, something 25 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 2: different to bring. And I remember, you know, in my 26 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 2: early days as a journalist and watching so many extraordinary 27 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 2: women who I admired and thought, I just want to 28 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 2: grow up and be like you, and one day recognizing 29 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 2: I never would be like them. I can only ever 30 00:01:56,360 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 2: be who I am. So it's a case of I think, 31 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 2: actually looking at yourself and working out what are my values, 32 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 2: what is important to me? Who am I that's different 33 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 2: to everybody else in my industry? What do I bring 34 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 2: that makes me me, that makes me you know, different, 35 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 2: special whatever, and any industry. I think this applies to you. Know, 36 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 2: what is your role and what makes you that a 37 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 2: little bit different to somebody else and owning it? You know, 38 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 2: I when I mentioned that the first time, I cried 39 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 2: on air, and I was mortified, and then I thought, 40 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 2: but that's who I am. So that's okay. I'm not 41 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 2: going to pretend to be one of those really cool, 42 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 2: calm kids that doesn't shed a tear and that can 43 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 2: hold it all together. You know, that's just not who 44 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,119 Speaker 2: I am, So that's all right. 45 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: On the flip side, what are some of the best 46 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: pieces of advice that have been given to you that 47 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: have really stuck. 48 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 2: My husband taught me control the controllable, best motto ever, 49 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 2: and I really and look can apply it in everything 50 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 2: from sitting in peak hour traffic to stuff happening in life. 51 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 2: But I do, I try really hard to. Just if 52 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,120 Speaker 2: I can't change it, if there's nothing I can do 53 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 2: about it, I might just have to let that go 54 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 2: or park that. And I hope you don't mind me 55 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 2: swearing here, But okay, my other one is just shit happens. 56 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: You know. 57 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 2: Sometimes shit happens and you've got to deal with it, 58 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 2: and it might be awful and it might not be 59 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 2: what you want. I'm sorry to keep bringing it, but 60 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 2: I actually mean to bring it back to the book. 61 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 2: But this is kind of where my headspace is at 62 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,000 Speaker 2: the moment. One of the women I interviewed in a 63 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 2: cat is the mom of a little boy who was 64 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 2: born with a terminal illness and he's still alive to 65 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 2: this day and he's extraordinary. But she talks about first 66 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 2: of all, acceptance. It is what it is. You know. 67 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 2: You can't waste energy and time sitting in a situation 68 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 2: wishing it was something different, because that's just a waste. 69 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 2: So except that it is what it is, and then 70 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 2: what are you going to do about it? How do 71 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: you move forward? And I think having the power to 72 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 2: control how you feel about something moving forward and what 73 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 2: you can actually do about it is really really strong. 74 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 2: So yeah, I try very hard to put my energy 75 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 2: into what I can change and alter and like go 76 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 2: all the things that I can't. Easier said than done. 77 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: If you enjoyed this extract of my chat with Mel, 78 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,720 Speaker 1: you might want to go back and listen to the 79 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: whole interview and you can find a link to that 80 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 1: in the show notes. If you're looking for more tips 81 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: to improve the way that you work, I write a 82 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: short fortnightly newsletter that contains three cool things that I've 83 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 1: discovered that helped me work better, ranging from software and 84 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,080 Speaker 1: gadgets that I'm loving through the interesting research findings. You 85 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 1: can sign up for that at Howiwork dot cod That's 86 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: how I Work dot co. Thank you for sharing part 87 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 1: of your day with me by listening to How I work. 88 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 1: If you're keen for more tips on how to work, 89 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:03,719 Speaker 1: betternect with me via LinkedIn or Instagram. I'm very easy 90 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: to find. Just search for Amantha Imba. How I Work 91 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,920 Speaker 1: was recorded on the traditional land of the Warrangery people, 92 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: part of the Koln Nation. I am so grateful for 93 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,920 Speaker 1: being able to work and live on this beautiful land, 94 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: and I want to pay my respects to elders, past, 95 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 1: present and emerging. How I Work is produced by Inventium 96 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,039 Speaker 1: with production support from Dead Set Studios, and thank you 97 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: to Martin Nimba who did the audio mix and makes 98 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,919 Speaker 1: everything sound better than it would have otherwise.