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Speaker 1: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional owners on which this

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Speaker 1: episode is being recorded, the combo marry people. We pay

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Speaker 1: our respects to elders past, present and emerging and extend

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Speaker 1: that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

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Speaker 1: Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, and this is the

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Speaker 1: Rise and Conquer Podcast. This is the podcast where we

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Speaker 1: ch have mindset, self development and becoming your higher self

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Speaker 1: mix soon with a lot of laughs, plus behind the

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Speaker 1: scenes of my life running two businesses and being among

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Speaker 1: Think of us as the perfect combo of brunch with

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Speaker 1: your besties mixed with self development. No matter where you

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Speaker 1: are in your journey, we're here to help you be curious,

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Speaker 1: pull yourself out and embrace radical self awareness. If you're

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Speaker 1: ready to get into the driver's seat of your own

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Speaker 1: life and stop letting life past you by, then you're

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Speaker 1: in the right place. Hello and welcome back to the

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Speaker 1: R and C Potty. Today we have the second episode

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Speaker 1: of our Motherhood series in celebration of our brand new

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Speaker 1: course Rebirth, Doing Motherhood on your Own Terms, And today

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Speaker 1: we have the author of Like a Mother, Emily East,

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Speaker 1: joining us for such an incredible episode. So I actually

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Speaker 1: read Emily's book a while back and she sent it

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Speaker 1: to the rn C HQ, and it was so beautiful.

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Speaker 1: It's such a beautiful reflection of you know, postpartum and

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Speaker 1: being a mum. In this episode, we really dive into

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Speaker 1: how difficult it can be to step into this new

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Speaker 1: version of yourself when you're becoming a mum. We also

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Speaker 1: chat about the importance of mastering delayed gratifydestion, getting triggered

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Speaker 1: by emotions that our children show, and shifting from the

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Speaker 1: doing mode to the being mode. Honestly, this was just

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Speaker 1: such an incredible chat. I just resonate with everything Emily says,

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Speaker 1: and you can tell she has like been in the

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Speaker 1: trenches like so much, just real life experience, and she

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Speaker 1: is just she's going for it, and it's so incredible

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Speaker 1: to see, you know, like a mom, you know, showing

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Speaker 1: up and she's doing the things and she's following her purpose.

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Speaker 1: So I think you guys are just going to absolutely

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Speaker 1: love this episode. And also we'll put all the links

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Speaker 1: in the show notes so you can grab her book.

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Speaker 1: But before we get into the episode, a tea A

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Speaker 1: weekly recommendation, please, My weekly recommendation is a bit left field.

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Speaker 1: It's just to try something you haven't done before and

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Speaker 1: get really out of your comfort zone, but don't put

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Speaker 1: pressure on yourself to.

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Speaker 2: Be good at it. It's just so fun sometimes. I

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Speaker 2: mentioned this in the last episode, but I did an

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Speaker 2: aer yoga class and I was probably the worst person

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Speaker 2: in the room. But I didn't let it get to me,

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Speaker 2: and I didn't put pressure on myself to be the best.

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Speaker 2: I just went somewhere, tried something new and got to

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Speaker 2: enjoy it.

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Speaker 1: Was it fun at the end?

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Speaker 2: Yes, it was very painful, and I now realize I've

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Speaker 2: got a lot.

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Speaker 1: Of work to do on my course strength. Have you

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Speaker 1: done one since and will you be doing more?

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Speaker 2: I do want to do more. I haven't done one

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Speaker 2: since just yet.

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Speaker 1: Should I come?

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Speaker 2: Yes, let's go together.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot of fun. I do love that for you,

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Speaker 1: and I love I've really been seeing you get out

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Speaker 1: of your comfort zone. So that's incredible. What's your recommendation.

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Speaker 1: My recommendation would be to go on a holiday, guy,

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Speaker 1: and I'll go.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 1: I just got back from a holiday guys, and it

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Speaker 1: was so incredible. I'll talk more about it in a

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Speaker 1: weekly update on the Friday's eb But I just needed it.

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Speaker 1: I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with everything going on

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Speaker 1: at work and I have, you know, been taking on

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Speaker 1: a whole lot of responsibilities lately, and I love that,

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Speaker 1: but it also meant like I was my nervous system

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Speaker 1: was feeling overwhelmed. And I also just absolutely loved that

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Speaker 1: me and Tim took it just us, because I think

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Speaker 1: when you become a parent, you often think that your

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Speaker 1: life is like not over. But I remember when I

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Speaker 1: first had IV, I even thought, oh my god, well

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Speaker 1: me and Tim are never gonna get time together, and

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Speaker 1: like we're never gonna travel because it's so difficult with

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Speaker 1: a baby, and we're never gonna, I guess, have that

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Speaker 1: romance again. And you really fall into this trap of, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's not for me. I have a child, and even

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Speaker 1: though you know it's difficult because you have to find

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Speaker 1: someone took after them, or you've got to travel with them,

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Speaker 1: and it's obviously more difficult. It's definitely a challenge, but

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Speaker 1: your perspective around it is everything. And I just fucking

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Speaker 1: love that me and Tim were on this trip and

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Speaker 1: there was no guilt around it. There was like, we

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Speaker 1: absolutely deserve this. And when me and Tim are filling

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Speaker 1: up our own buckets and our relationship buckets. IVY benefits

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Speaker 1: from that like one hundred and ten percent. And that

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Speaker 1: has been one of the coolest shifts that I have

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Speaker 1: done in regards to doing identity work around what it

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Speaker 1: means for me to be a mum. And that's what

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Speaker 1: the whole new course of rebirth is about, is to

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Speaker 1: do motherhood on your own terms. And I really really

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Speaker 1: want to clarify, like if you're someone where you're like

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Speaker 1: motherhood or on my own terms doesn't mean holidays away

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Speaker 1: from my child, amazing, That's incredible, and that's what motherhood

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Speaker 1: means for you. But it's like it's really getting to

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Speaker 1: this point where you don't see any limitations and you

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Speaker 1: don't see any Oh, well, I have to do this

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Speaker 1: because that's just what moms do. Yeah, Or I have

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Speaker 1: to you know, be this person in my relationship which

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Speaker 1: I don't even want to be, because that's what I

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Speaker 1: have to be. And you can really bring it back

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Speaker 1: to like what do I want? What do why I

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Speaker 1: want to be in regards to being a leader for

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Speaker 1: my family, and it was just really it's really incredible

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Speaker 1: because obviously, you know we're currently running rebirth and doing

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Speaker 1: all the promo for it for me and Tim to

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Speaker 1: actually be like living it of like role models for

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Speaker 1: Ivy and role models for what we want our relationship

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Speaker 1: to be, was even so incredible, and we had so

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Speaker 1: many conversations about it, and it was it was just

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Speaker 1: really beautiful because it was like celebrating our five year

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Speaker 1: wedding anniversary. And yeah, it was bliss.

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Speaker 3: I love that the lor emerge.

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Speaker 4: All right, let's get into this episode.

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Speaker 1: To the Rise and Conquer Podcasts.

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

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Speaker 1: I am so excited for this episode. I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to share your work with a Rising Conquer community. I

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Speaker 1: would love for you to just tell them a little

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Speaker 1: bit about who you are, what you do, and what

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Speaker 1: your journey has looked like up until now.

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Speaker 3: Of course, well before I became a mum, my professional

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Speaker 3: career was really built around using my mind to live

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Speaker 3: and be well and then share that with others. So

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Speaker 3: I studied biology and psychology at university and then went

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Speaker 3: to teach in secondary schools those topics, and then it

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Speaker 3: went it really more found my role into well being

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Speaker 3: and supporting sixteen year old's well being at school and

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Speaker 3: working closely with their parents. And that was all around

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Speaker 3: using my knowledge of positive psychology, how to use the brain,

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Speaker 3: how to train the brain. I had such a deep

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Speaker 3: understanding of how the brain worked that if someone felt

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Speaker 3: uncomfortable or they were having a hard time, I could

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Speaker 3: use their intellect and I could use what I knew

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Speaker 3: about the brain to help them to feel well. It

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Speaker 3: was all about mindset for me, and that then really

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Speaker 3: morphed into the corporate space. So I was working with

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Speaker 3: really big banks and big universities working with their employees

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Speaker 3: again to how to manage their energy, how to be resilient.

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Speaker 3: And again it was all through mindset and intellect work

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Speaker 3: and really positive psychology stuff, and everything was going well.

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Speaker 3: So if it was working for me to that point,

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Speaker 3: and if anything, any emotions came up that felt uncomfortable,

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Speaker 3: you know, put a positive affirmation over it, do some

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Speaker 3: meditation to sort of push it aside or to swap

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Speaker 3: it with something else, and on you go. So I

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Speaker 3: was a very positive you know, put lipstick on, pig

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Speaker 3: silver lining on every single thing. So that was sort

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Speaker 3: of my vibe. And then I became a mom. I

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Speaker 3: had my first son, and and I felt like my

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Speaker 3: whole world just crumbled around me. I felt like the

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Speaker 3: way that I saw myself had changed, the way that

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Speaker 3: I wanted other people to see myself had changed. The

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Speaker 3: things that I thought were me that came that made

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Speaker 3: me so. I was, you know, playing competitive sports I have,

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Speaker 3: I was teaching hot yoga, I would have a cocktail

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Speaker 3: with my girlfriends on the weekend, and all of a

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Speaker 3: sudden that was sort of taken away from me, and

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Speaker 3: it was like, but that's who I thought. I was like,

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Speaker 3: so who am I now? And what is actually happening?

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Speaker 3: And I tried soorry hard to squeeze my new self

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Speaker 3: into my old life using those mindset tools that I

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Speaker 3: had built my career off, so mindset, brain, intellect. And

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Speaker 3: then I had a gorgeous little surprise. I became pregnant

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Speaker 3: again with number two, and that was just five months postpartum,

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Speaker 3: so he was a beautiful little surprise. But up until then,

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Speaker 3: I had been to feel like I was experiencing. Before

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Speaker 3: I got pregnant again, I was experiencing these emotions that

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Speaker 3: I'd never felt before. When I became a new mum,

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Speaker 3: I felt greater levels of sadness, I felt greater levels

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Speaker 3: of depression, of loneliness, and I thought I can't. I

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Speaker 3: felt really alone, like am I the only one going

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Speaker 3: through this massive change? I feel like my life has

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Speaker 3: literally just crumbled, and so for it. So what I

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Speaker 3: thought to get back onto it. I thought, it's okay.

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Speaker 3: Soon soon I'll stop breastfeeding. Soon my son won't need

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Speaker 3: me as much anymore. And to live my life again,

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Speaker 3: I'll just pick where I lift off and or carry

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Speaker 3: on like nothing's changed. I'll go back to work, I'll

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Speaker 3: add mum on my to do list, and I'll be

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Speaker 3: okay again. Once I get my life back, I'll be

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Speaker 3: okay again. And I sort of have this vision of

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Speaker 3: like this beautiful, this statue of me and my life

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Speaker 3: and how I saw myself and it just shattered. But

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Speaker 3: I spent so much time trying to piece it back

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Speaker 3: together and put it back together, and that's what I

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Speaker 3: thought I needed to do. And then when I became

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Speaker 3: pregnant for the second time, was like, well, farket's just

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Speaker 3: all going to smash again. And that was the moment

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Speaker 3: that I really thought, I really surrendered to it, and

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Speaker 3: I thought, you know what, I get an opportunity now

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Speaker 3: to build a new statue and create a new life

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Speaker 3: and create a new self because I'm going to be

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Speaker 3: a mum for a really long time and it's sort

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Speaker 3: of like I'm gonna like forever. This is a lifelong thing.

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Speaker 3: Why am I trying to fight it? Why am I

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Speaker 3: trying to squeeze back into my old life? It's time

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Speaker 3: to like that girl has gone, She's not here anymore.

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Speaker 3: I've experienced things that have changed me. I've felt deeper love,

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Speaker 3: I've felt deeper fear. I've done things I never thought

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Speaker 3: that I could do. And I'm a different person. And

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Speaker 3: so the moment that I surrendered to that, the moment

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Speaker 3: that I stopped trying to squeeze back into those things

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Speaker 3: that I thought made up who I was, was the

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Speaker 3: moment that I almost set myself free. And during that time,

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Speaker 3: like I got a one on one coach. I worked

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Speaker 3: intensively with a coach I did, you know, nervous system healing.

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Speaker 3: I became a sematic therapist. I did a Central Semantics

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Speaker 3: course where I did things around sexual expression and femininity,

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Speaker 3: and then I learned how to facilitate that with other

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Speaker 3: women and you know, trauma based healing and breastwork, and

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Speaker 3: I really dove in and committed to my own healing

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Speaker 3: and journey and I wrote about it, and I wrote

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Speaker 3: about my experience, and that is my book with Like

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Speaker 3: a Mother. So yeah, I think you can really see

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Speaker 3: my journey where you know, the first part of it

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Speaker 3: is about the mind and is about the brain and intellect,

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Speaker 3: which I think is so important and particularly as mothers,

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Speaker 3: to understand a little bit about our little babies human

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Speaker 3: brains and where they're at with development. I think that's

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Speaker 3: really healthy and really helpful. And then I go deeper

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Speaker 3: into into inner wisdom and to intuition and to instinct

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Speaker 3: and I tap into in my journey, in my own healing,

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Speaker 3: I tapped into that deeper side of me. And it

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Speaker 3: was more so about I learned that my children's well

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Speaker 3: being really blied on how could stand up for myself

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Speaker 3: and how in touch I was with my intuition and

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Speaker 3: my instincts and to danding my knowing when other people

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Speaker 3: were telling me, telling me I was doing something wrong

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Speaker 3: because I know what's best for my kids. And and

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Speaker 3: it really fed and it really grew my confidence as

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Speaker 3: a mum. And you know, I went from going from

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Speaker 3: all mindset to both I need my I need all

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Speaker 3: my wisdom, and there's so much wisdom and intellect that

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Speaker 3: resides in my body that I was missing, that I

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Speaker 3: was really missing out on. So I feel like I

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Speaker 3: come from a more holistic approach now when it comes

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Speaker 3: to that. But that's the journey and that's my book.

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Speaker 3: So now what I do. I'm at home with my

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Speaker 3: babies most of the time. I have my Oh my god,

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Speaker 3: my oldest has just turned four, and my second is

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Speaker 3: about to turn three, and I'm currently pregnant with number three.

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Speaker 3: I'm sixteen weeks pregnant. So I'm wearing my favorite dreams

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Speaker 3: at the moment that I dare say will be the

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Speaker 3: last time I wear them. And I run an online

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Speaker 3: community called Soule Nation where we run full moon and

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Speaker 3: New Moon rituals with other mums who just committed to

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Speaker 3: using the shifts and the lessons that we learned from

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Speaker 3: motherhood to really create that statue and decide who, who

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Speaker 3: and I want to create and what life do I

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Speaker 3: want to lead Because I also think that nothing, there's

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Speaker 3: no nothing that really can that can compare to motherhood

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Speaker 3: when it comes to personal development, because it demands that

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Speaker 3: we show up for ourselves and our children. So that's me, George.

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Speaker 1: That's it's so incredible to hear talk about it, because

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Speaker 1: obviously you know, I've read the book, so I feel

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Speaker 1: like I know so much about your life. But it's

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Speaker 1: so incredible to you talk about it. And it's so

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Speaker 1: interesting because I resonate so much much with what you're

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Speaker 1: saying in regards to becoming a mom and it being

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Speaker 1: this like the most transformative, the most like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: my life will never be the same, and really struggling

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Speaker 1: at the start of trying to fit back into your

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Speaker 1: old self or trying to go back to your old self.

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Speaker 1: And I truly believe, like personally that's what really for

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Speaker 1: lack of a better world, fucked me up for a

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Speaker 1: year postpartum, because it's like that person is gone, She's

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Speaker 1: not there anymore, and when you're trying to get back

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Speaker 1: to her to just this constant disappointment, and it's just

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Speaker 1: not healthy to try and go backwards, when if you

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Speaker 1: think about life, we're going forward and we're moving forward

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Speaker 1: and if you can really learn how to and this

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Speaker 1: is like I think you probably resonate with. I used

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Speaker 1: to be the biggest control freak, and so I think

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Speaker 1: that's why I struggled so much, because you're trying to

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Speaker 1: control the most uncontrollable, you know, little human and how

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Speaker 1: life is supposed to be. And I think there's something

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Speaker 1: so beautiful in having that full reckoning I guess of

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Speaker 1: being like, oh wow, I'm not going backwards, I'm going forward,

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Speaker 1: and I actually get to decide what this journey is

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Speaker 1: like because before that I was like, it's it's almost

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Speaker 1: like I lost autonomy, I lost the I get to decide,

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Speaker 1: which is so interesting because before I came in mom

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Speaker 1: like I'm a manifestation coach, like that's that's who I am.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, because I was experienced something I had

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Speaker 1: never experienced, I forgot that I actually had so much

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Speaker 1: choice in how a shop and so much choice in

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Speaker 1: regards to how it could be. But again, it's you

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Speaker 1: don't have those tools, so it gets to be this beautiful,

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Speaker 1: beautiful journey. So that's yeah, it's incredible.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. And I think we I think sometimes the

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Speaker 3: message might get a little bit lost in we can

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Speaker 3: feel both, Like I can feel both. I can feel

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Speaker 3: both grateful for the life that I'm living now and

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Speaker 3: at the same time feel real grief and sadness over

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Speaker 3: the life that I'm losing. Like, we don't have to

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Speaker 3: feel one or the other, but I think I certainly

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Speaker 3: got stuck in the trap of if I'm feeling sadness

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Speaker 3: for not being who for the life that I used

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Speaker 3: to live, it means I'm not grateful for the life

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Speaker 3: that I have, and that's just not the case. We

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Speaker 3: can be both, we can feel into both at the

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Speaker 3: same time.

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Speaker 1: I think so many mothers would experience that too, where

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Speaker 1: you then feel guilty for feeling both feelings because you're

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Speaker 1: you know, you see social media where it's like the

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Speaker 1: newborn bubble and all those sorts of things, and if

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Speaker 1: you're experiencing both, and I truly believe we all do,

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Speaker 1: you're like, oh my god, I'm a bad mum. I'm

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Speaker 1: a bad person. And then you go through, you know,

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Speaker 1: the shame spiral, and it's it's not good for anyone.

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Speaker 1: I would actually love to touch on this. I want

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Speaker 1: to go straight into because I loved the part in

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Speaker 1: your book where you spoke about too much happiness and

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna read I just so that RNC listeners can hear,

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Speaker 1: and it went like, even though I focused on positive psychology,

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Speaker 1: in my studies. It took me some time to learn this.

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Speaker 1: After I graduated, the popularity of movies like The Secret,

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Speaker 1: The Heel documentary, and the work of Lewis Hay only

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Speaker 1: plunged me deeper into the shadow side of positive psychology.

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Speaker 1: I was terrified of thinking a negative thought, Scared that

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Speaker 1: if I allowed these parts of me in, I would

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Speaker 1: manifest a life I didn't want, or create an illness

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Speaker 1: that would knock my cotton socks right off, not in

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Speaker 1: a good way. I felt something was wrong with me

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Speaker 1: if I wasn't feeling good all the time. I became

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Speaker 1: so obsessed with the pursuit of happiness that I would

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Speaker 1: be overly grateful for a cup of coffee. I lacked

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Speaker 1: the confidence to send it back if it was gold.

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Speaker 1: I was obsessed with this passage because coming from a

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Speaker 1: similar background where it's like I first got into manifesting

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Speaker 1: with this secret and those sorts of things where it's

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Speaker 1: like your thoughts are your reality. So it's like you

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Speaker 1: think one bad thing. And it's really interesting because we've

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Speaker 1: actually been having this conversation in the RNC community lately,

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Speaker 1: literally just a couple of podcasts ago. It was like,

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Speaker 1: do bad thoughts create a bad life and really debunking that.

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Speaker 1: And I loved that you touched on this in your book,

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Speaker 1: and I would love for you to kind of share

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Speaker 1: a bit more because I just I think it's such

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Speaker 1: a beautiful journey, because I feel like a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: you get into self development and it's so much positive psychology,

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Speaker 1: and it's it is amazing, it's incredible, credible, and it's

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Speaker 1: life changing. But then I truly do feel like there's

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Speaker 1: then the next step of you know, going into the

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Speaker 1: shadow side and really exploring that. So I'd love for

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Speaker 1: you to express how you went through that.

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Speaker 3: Of course, well, yeah, just the experience of diving into it,

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Speaker 3: and yeah, your thoughts are your reality. I was so

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Speaker 3: scared to think of anything negative or to feel and

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Speaker 3: allow myself to lean into anything uncomfortable or negative, because

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Speaker 3: I thought that that's something wrong and I can fix it.

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Speaker 3: I can use a positive affirmation like it's a band

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Speaker 3: aid and just whack it on over top and do

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Speaker 3: it that way. But I think when positive psychology and

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Speaker 3: things like manifesting get rolled out into mainstream, I think

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Speaker 3: they simplify it, We water it down, and we put

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Speaker 3: a pretty little bow on it so that everyone can

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Speaker 3: understand it. And that was sort of a little bit

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Speaker 3: of me and I didn't realize the full scale of

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Speaker 3: positive psychology. So Martin Seligman was the founder of this

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Speaker 3: term positive psychology. But in his book he actually says

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Speaker 3: that he despises the word happiness. And one of his

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Speaker 3: book is called authentic Happiness, and he said it's only

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Speaker 3: called happiness because he publishers said it would tell more.

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Speaker 3: But that was something that I missed. He was like,

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Speaker 3: it's not living a life of meaning and living a

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Speaker 3: life for fulfillment doesn't mean you're happy all of the time.

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Speaker 3: And motherhood really woke me up to that because I

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Speaker 3: didn't have that luxury. It does not motherhood does not

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Speaker 3: provide me with the luxury of pushing down my uncomfortable emotions,

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Speaker 3: because it forces me to face them. I experienced the

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Speaker 3: broadest range of emotions on the daily. My kids pushed

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Speaker 3: me to the absolute extreme that I didn't have that

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Speaker 3: luxury anymore that I had to really learn to face

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Speaker 3: my shit, and it sort of all came up to

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Speaker 3: the surface, and so I had to learn to deal

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Speaker 3: with it. I had to learn to manage it and

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Speaker 3: sit with it. And be okay with it and sort

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Speaker 3: of move on in that way and be a little

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Speaker 3: bit more compassionate to myself and understand that this is

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Speaker 3: a human experience and I'm going to feel a range

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Speaker 3: of things and that's just what life is and that's

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Speaker 3: what we're here for.

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Speaker 1: It's so true, isn't it. And even something I pointed

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Speaker 1: out when we answered this question a couple of weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: was like you sitting there thinking, oh my gosh, I'm

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Speaker 1: in a low vibe. How dare I be in a

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Speaker 1: low vibe? That is a low vibe in itself, So

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Speaker 1: it's like, do you want to be constantly feeling guilt

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Speaker 1: and shame for not experiencing certain feelings which are truly

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Speaker 1: the full, like you said, the full level of being human,

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Speaker 1: Like you're not just here to be a happy mother

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Speaker 1: twenty four to seven. You get to feel the emotions,

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Speaker 1: you get to express yourself, and you get to go

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Speaker 1: on those journeys. Because also something I speak about is

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Speaker 1: like when you're not feeling good, you know, quote unquote

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Speaker 1: good or happy, those are the moments that are most

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Speaker 1: transformative to me because it's it's bringing a mirror to

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Speaker 1: something I want to work on or something I get

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Speaker 1: to work through, or it's bringing a mirror to what

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Speaker 1: my boundaries are, what my standards are. And it's like,

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Speaker 1: if we never had those moments of telling you those movements,

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Speaker 1: of feeling those feelings, we wouldn't know who we are,

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Speaker 1: We wouldn't know what we want, we wouldn't know, you know,

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Speaker 1: what we what's our purpose in life? If that makes sense.

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Speaker 1: So I truly resonate with so much, like it's not

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Speaker 1: all rainbows and butterflies. But it's like I even say, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, this is probably simplifying it a bit, but

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Speaker 1: it's like, how boring. Imagine just being happy all the time,

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Speaker 1: having no challenges, and it's like there would be nothing

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Speaker 1: to talk about.

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Speaker 3: So oh, I totally agree. I would all No, I

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Speaker 3: totally agree.

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Speaker 1: I know. And it's like once we can like almost

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Speaker 1: hack that and be like, oh no, this is actually

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Speaker 1: great that I'm not feeling, you know, happy all the

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Speaker 1: time because I get to really explore this and this, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be this mask of I have

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Speaker 1: to be happy all the time, because that's it's not

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Speaker 1: serving anyone.

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Speaker 3: When you were sort of talking and saying that, I

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Speaker 3: was thinking about putting my kids to bed, and I

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Speaker 3: have to read this stupid budding book a million times

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Speaker 3: and they love it and they frof over it, and

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Speaker 3: I'm like, this does not make me happy, but it

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Speaker 3: gives me meaning because I'm reading to my kids and

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Speaker 3: that's important to me. And there's a big difference between

435
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:16,760
Speaker 3: them being happy and you know, finding meaning and purpose.

436
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 1: I love that so much, and I think also, I

437
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,600
Speaker 1: I think also it's like I love the part in

438
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: your book when you explain you know that exact thing

439
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: of your identity changes when you're a mum, and if

440
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:44,000
Speaker 1: you are so attached to the specific things rather than

441
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 1: you know your purpose and leaning into that like the

442
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: big you know, halt when you become a mother, it's

443
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 1: like this big you know instance of like you said,

444
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 1: the statue crumbling. And I would love for you to

445
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: kind of touch on how we can not identify so

446
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,840
Speaker 1: much like I'm at this, I'm at that, and more

447
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 1: identify with our purpose and what that transition looked.

448
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 3: Like for you. I think one of the biggest things

449
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 3: that made the transition into motherhood so hard for me

450
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 3: because I clung so tightly on who I thought I

451
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 3: was and how I wanted other people to see me,

452
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 3: and I thought that, you know, my career and what

453
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 3: I did in my spare time and the type of

454
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 3: friends that I have, I thought that was who made

455
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,440
Speaker 3: me me. But it wasn't. That was just what I did.

456
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,440
Speaker 3: That wasn't who the core, who I am at the core.

457
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 3: So the moment that I let that go, and I

458
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 3: think really holding on to the way that we see

459
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 3: ourselves really restricts our growth because it doesn't allow us

460
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 3: to evolve. It just keeps its stuck in that place

461
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 3: where we want to be and where we think we

462
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 3: need to be. And the moment that I let that go,

463
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 3: the moment that I let go of who I thought

464
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 3: I was and who I thought made me me, gave

465
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 3: me opportunities to find out who that really was, to

466
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 3: really create that and go about it in a completely

467
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 3: different way, and to sort of live on your purpose.

468
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 3: I feel like purpose can feel really heavy, and it

469
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 3: feels like, oh, I've got to have a purpose if

470
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 3: I want to live a really good life, Like what

471
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,480
Speaker 3: the fuck's my purpose? I don't know, do I need

472
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 3: a mission statement or something, or like, how do I

473
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 3: even know what my purpose is? But I truly truly

474
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 3: believe that our purpose is us. My purpose is me,

475
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 3: Your purpose is you. It's to live your best life

476
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 3: and to come here and express what you're meant to

477
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 3: express and what you're meant to do, whatever that looks like,

478
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 3: and to actually sort of put that into something tangible

479
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,400
Speaker 3: that we can do. There's this exercise that I love

480
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 3: to do in discovering your purpose emotions. So if you

481
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 3: were to sit down in a quiet space for a

482
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:54,360
Speaker 3: moment and think about, you know, a really significant memory

483
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 3: perhaps between when you were born and when you're five

484
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 3: or seven, and then think of another memory from when

485
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 3: you seven to you know, a teenager, and then from

486
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,199
Speaker 3: there to the rest of your life. So you're thinking

487
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,480
Speaker 3: of really significant memories that stand out to you in

488
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,440
Speaker 3: your life that have meant something to you. So, for example,

489
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 3: for me, one of my memories that really stands out

490
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 3: for me is when I was really little. Is I

491
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 3: was ten. It was my tenth birthday. I ran in

492
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 3: to see my granddad and I was like, Granddad, I'm

493
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 3: ten today, it's my birthday. And he was like, oh,

494
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 3: your double figures today, and I'm like, what does that mean? Granddad?

495
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:32,440
Speaker 3: And he sat me on his knee and he told

496
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 3: me what double figures meant, And in that moment, I

497
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 3: wrote down all of my emotions that I felt. In

498
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 3: that moment, I felt special, I felt really important, I

499
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 3: felt like I was the center of attention, but in

500
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 3: a good way. I felt really loved. And then like

501
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,320
Speaker 3: another memory that really stands out to me is when

502
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,439
Speaker 3: my first son was born after labor, like again, I

503
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 3: did something that I thought I couldn't do, like at

504
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 3: the end of laby, like mo, fuck this, I'm out,

505
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 3: I can't feeld it anymore, but you do. And so

506
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 3: once I did, it was like again, I felt really

507
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 3: important and I felt really special. And so you can

508
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,879
Speaker 3: see that with these memories that really stand out in

509
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,399
Speaker 3: my life, the emotions that I felt in each of

510
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:18,919
Speaker 3: those moments they cross over. There's some there's some themes here.

511
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,240
Speaker 3: So when so that is what I like to refer

512
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 3: to as a purpose emotion. So those emotions stand out

513
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:29,720
Speaker 3: to me over the over my lifespan for a reason,

514
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 3: Like those feelings really light me up. So whenever i'm

515
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 3: you know, working, or I'm like expressing myself in new

516
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,719
Speaker 3: relationships or whatever, when I feel those emotions, things that

517
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 3: make me feel those purpose emotions. That's what I meant

518
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 3: to be doing, So that's me. Those emotions are me,

519
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 3: and they help me following those emotions, being in tune

520
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 3: with when I feel them. They help me live a

521
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 3: life that's aligned to me, that's true to me. And

522
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 3: I think that is how you can live a life

523
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 3: of purpose, because I think your purpose is you and

524
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 3: being the best you and living the best life that

525
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,320
Speaker 3: you that you possibly can. I think that's what we're

526
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 3: here for.

527
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 1: That's so beautiful. I love the idea of locking into

528
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:23,800
Speaker 1: the emotion, not necessarily it being like a thing, so

529
00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 1: that that's really really cool. I would love for you

530
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:32,719
Speaker 1: to chat about doing verse being because again this is

531
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 1: one of my favorite, you know chapters in the book

532
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: where you wrote about how surrender is the new hustle,

533
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: which I loved, and how hard it is to actually

534
00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 1: let go and surrender because it can often be seen

535
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: as like a weakness, And I would love your tips

536
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: on stepping out of the doing mindset and more into

537
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: the being so we can surrender, specifically around being a mother, because,

538
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,160
Speaker 1: like I said previously, like I'm a bit of the

539
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 1: control freak, and surrender to me previously has felt like

540
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 1: a weakness and has felt like something I don't.

541
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 2: Want to do.

542
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: And then as I have had Ivy, I've realized how

543
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 1: much I do have to surrender. And you know, she

544
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: teaches me every single day, and I think it has

545
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: been such a beautiful evolution for me. But I know

546
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: a lot of people like they don't really understand what

547
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: the difference is and why it is so important.

548
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 3: You're right, it is seen as a weakness to sort

549
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 3: of let go of control, But in my experience, when

550
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 3: I'm sure yours as well, it's nearly the strongest and

551
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 3: most courageous thing anyone can do is to let go

552
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 3: of that control. Because you let you just sort of

553
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 3: throw your hands up and you're left into the unknown.

554
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 3: And the unknown is scary. But I'd like to say

555
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 3: that I learned this lesson quite easily Georgie, but I

556
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 3: definitely did not. When I had my first two kids

557
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 3: under two, I was fully in the doing mode. It

558
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 3: was go, go go. It was hustle, hussle, it was washing,

559
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:10,080
Speaker 3: it was feeding kids, it was supermarket, it was all

560
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 3: of the mum things, to the point where I didn't

561
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 3: value myself at all. It was all about my kids.

562
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 3: It was all about what I did for them. It

563
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 3: was you know, the games that we played, the places

564
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 3: that I took them to play, the play dates. It

565
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 3: was all about what I did for them, to a

566
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 3: point where I completely burnt I completely burnt out. And

567
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,240
Speaker 3: I say it and I tell this story in my book,

568
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 3: but I was extremely underweight, I was extremely unhappy, and

569
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 3: I thought what made me a good mum was what

570
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 3: I did for my kids. And it only got to

571
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 3: a point where I couldn't go on any longer doing

572
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 3: what I was doing. I was going to end up,

573
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: you know, in a hospital bed. So I had to

574
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 3: make some changes. And after some after I was sort

575
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:58,880
Speaker 3: of scared from a bit of a healthcare it was like, Okay,

576
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,000
Speaker 3: things are going to really need to change. I'm going

577
00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 3: to start to I need to start to prioritize myself.

578
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 3: And I really made that shift of not from what

579
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 3: it's not as important. It is important what I'm doing

580
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 3: for my kids, but it's really important of who I am.

581
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:15,960
Speaker 3: And if I think about the energy that I'm bringing

582
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 3: when I'm with my kids in doing mode, it's hustle,

583
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 3: it's go. It often causes me stress and my kids

584
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 3: pick up more about the energy than what I do

585
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 3: for them. And then I thought about, like, what am

586
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: I actually really showing my kids. I'm showing them that

587
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 3: to love someone, it's more about what you do for them,

588
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 3: not about who you are, And that just didn't sit

589
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:42,040
Speaker 3: right with me. So I started to use dinner time

590
00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 3: as such a fun time in it in a house

591
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 3: with toddlers, isn't it. I started to use dinner time

592
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 3: as my sign post. So previously, in doing mode, dinner

593
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,880
Speaker 3: time would look like this. Okay, so it gets to

594
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 3: the afternoon. You've been starving your kids for the last

595
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 3: three hours in hope that they eat something for dinner.

596
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 3: So they're grumpy, they're climbing the walls. You're trying to

597
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 3: think of something to make for dinner. You're making it.

598
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 3: You've got kids screaming at your ankles. You're trying to

599
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 3: put something on the TV to get them to sit

600
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 3: still for five seconds, and it's just stressful and you

601
00:33:17,680 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 3: finally might sit down to eat. I'm not eating this,

602
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 3: you know. They're throwing it at the wall, they kick

603
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 3: it on the ground, and it's such a beautiful time.

604
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 3: And I think of my husband coming home at that moment,

605
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 3: and he would literally just be like oof. You'd feel

606
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: the energy. It would be like you could cut it

607
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,680
Speaker 3: with the knife. It is. It is stressful, it is manic,

608
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 3: it is not fun. And the kids really feed off

609
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 3: that vibe, that is the energy that they feel. So

610
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 3: it wouldn't even matter if I served up organic you know,

611
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 3: veggies and the most beautiful meal, because what has that

612
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 3: cost me? It's cost me my energy to create that.

613
00:33:56,560 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 3: So that became my signpost to go, okay, I'm heavily

614
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 3: in doing mode. My signpost and my point of where

615
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 3: I really want to switch into being mode. So I

616
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 3: started to think, who am I being in this situation?

617
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 3: What energy am I bringing to the table when it

618
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:18,720
Speaker 3: comes to dinner time. Now, I put music on, I

619
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,120
Speaker 3: pull myself a green strenk or a phizzy. I have

620
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,200
Speaker 3: a soda water in a fancy glass, and we dance,

621
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,600
Speaker 3: and I, you know, make dinner. And we still might

622
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:30,840
Speaker 3: sit down and they still throw their dinner on the floor,

623
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,399
Speaker 3: but I feel a lot more at peace with it,

624
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 3: and they're feeding off my energy, and it's more about

625
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 3: what person I am in that moment. And I have

626
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 3: beautiful memories of my grandma in the kitchen singing and cooking,

627
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 3: and I still carry that feeling. I still carry that

628
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 3: love and that feeling with me now, and I hope

629
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 3: that that's what I'm bringing to my children, is that

630
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 3: fun energy, that loving energy, that light energy, and me

631
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 3: being happy because I think me being happy is being

632
00:35:03,239 --> 00:35:05,919
Speaker 3: is them being happy rather than stressed and burnt out.

633
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:08,399
Speaker 3: So that's just a real like, don't get me wrong,

634
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 3: there are times when we need to switch into that

635
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 3: doing mode, Like I know you've tried to put it

636
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 3: other in a car seat. There are times where we

637
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 3: need to be into doing. But quite often, and particularly

638
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 3: in our culture, it's glorified that doing and it's like,

639
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 3: you know, oh, how's your day. Busy, busy, busy, And

640
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,560
Speaker 3: it's almost like you get an award for being the

641
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 3: busiest person and for doing the most. So it's really

642
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,359
Speaker 3: hard because we really attach our self worth with our

643
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 3: productivity and how much we get done. And again it's

644
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 3: hard to let that go. But the moment that you do,

645
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, you just feel your shoulders soften, and

646
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 3: the kids are different and you're different, and it's just yeah.

647
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 3: So for anyone listening who's sort of really interested in

648
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 3: switching between those I would say, choose a moment where

649
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: you feel like you're in doing mode the most, and

650
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,799
Speaker 3: use that as a signpost to really ask yourself, what

651
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 3: energy am I bringing right now? Who am I being

652
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,240
Speaker 3: in this moment, and do you know, make a shift

653
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 3: in that way.

654
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: I love that so much, and that has been a

655
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 1: huge learning curve for me, especially with going back to

656
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: work and being in the office all day and being

657
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,239
Speaker 1: in that energy, which I you know, think is necessary

658
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 1: like you said at times, and then being very intentional

659
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 1: about before I get home, before I walk in the door.

660
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,880
Speaker 1: You know, I sit in my car, I have some breaths,

661
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 1: I play my favorite playlist on the way home, and

662
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,040
Speaker 1: I literally shift my energy because I know Ivy's going

663
00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: to feel the difference. And it's funny because I even

664
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: have evidence of that of Yo, this this this one day,

665
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: I was, I was having a stressful day. I had

666
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: some you know, issues with whatever is happening at work,

667
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 1: and I wasn't intentionable how I came home. I think

668
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 1: I was, you know, cooling my podcast manager on the

669
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: way home and blah blah blah. And I got in

670
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,440
Speaker 1: the door and I remember Ivy like, and there's such

671
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: such energetic like beings when they're little, and I remember,

672
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,160
Speaker 1: you know, going to pick her up and her not

673
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: wanting to go to me in crime, and I remember

674
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,359
Speaker 1: having that moment where I was like, you're so right

675
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: because my energy is like so off right now. And obviously,

676
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,520
Speaker 1: you know, my life looks a bit different because I'm

677
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,920
Speaker 1: not at home with Ivy all the time. But being

678
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 1: very intentionable about how am I actually being in the

679
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 1: moment and is it worth me yelling at Tim for

680
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 1: I don't know, not doing something I asked or this

681
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:40,520
Speaker 1: and that, or is it more intentional about me being

682
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 1: in an energy that Ivy can be like, oh wow,

683
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: I love spending time with Mama, you know, and they

684
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,959
Speaker 1: they feel that, and I think once you can hack

685
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: that and understand that, like you said, it also brings

686
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 1: so much pressure off you and you're like, oh, I

687
00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 1: don't have to be perfect, I don't have to have

688
00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: everything done because they're just more worried about, you know,

689
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 1: me being here with them. And so that's why I've

690
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: been so intentional that having that transition time and being

691
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 1: like Okay, now I'm mum Georgie and I can go

692
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 1: in and I am you know, not gonna look at

693
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 1: the washing. I'm not gonna go straight into the being

694
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,919
Speaker 1: because I've just done that all day. So I love

695
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 1: that you touch on that something also I want to

696
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: chat about, and I've been a bit obsessed with this

697
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 1: topic right now, and it's delayed gratification. So I love

698
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: that where you spoke about how true change is like

699
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 1: hidden in our small habits and how important it is

700
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: for us to master delayed gratification. Are you able to

701
00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 1: share some tips on this and how it's kind of

702
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: really related to things a bit more as being a.

703
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 3: Mother absolutely delayed gratification, that is, let's just say that

704
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 3: that is hard, Like see they had slow internet, like excruciating,

705
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: And we live in a world where we push buttons

706
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 3: get what we want. We can buy things before we

707
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 3: have the money we have after pay. Like we're in

708
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 3: a world that feeds off and functions off our ability

709
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 3: to not be able to wait. And I think that's

710
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 3: really helpful to know, so that we keep consuming, we

711
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 3: keep buying, we keep spending our money. It really feeds

712
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 3: off making us feel that way. So I think having

713
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 3: an awareness around that it's really hard. But in my book,

714
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 3: I sort of talk about the one percent is And

715
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 3: what I mean by that is when we want to

716
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 3: make a change, or we want to make shifts, or

717
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 3: we're going through some change, quite often we feel like

718
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 3: we need to go all in or make really big

719
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 3: grand gestures to get anywhere, and we want it right now.

720
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 3: So we want to see results now. We've got to

721
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 3: do something big to get something results right away, And

722
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:52,960
Speaker 3: in my experience, particularly with motherhood, that's just not the

723
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 3: way that we can create sustainable change. So the one

724
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 3: percentas are those little tiny things that you don't eve

725
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 3: and know that you're doing them, and they're so easy

726
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 3: to not do, but they're also so easy to do

727
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 3: as well. So you know, I use an example in

728
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 3: the book about going to the gym, Like if you

729
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 3: wanted to get fit, you wanted to change, you know,

730
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 3: the way that you were caring for your body. You

731
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 3: don't go to the gym one day for nine hours.

732
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 3: You go consistently for twenty minutes, an hour, thirty minutes

733
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 3: over a time, and then you know, while a you're

734
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 3: you sort of you can make changes that way. So

735
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 3: when I'm talking about how I've related it to sort

736
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 3: of motherhood, I think about what really stands out is

737
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 3: my relationship with my husband, like through motherhood. It is

738
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 3: not very glamorous motherhood and parenthood is it. So it

739
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,040
Speaker 3: can be hard to sort of keep any romance or

740
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 3: spark alive. So if I want to sort of make

741
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 3: changes on I feel closer to my husband, what I've

742
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 3: did really early on in my in my journey was

743
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,120
Speaker 3: I'd plan a date night. I'd plan a date night.

744
00:40:56,320 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 3: It would be tricky to find someone, you know, to

745
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 3: come and have two kids who can put them to bed,

746
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,760
Speaker 3: because they're paining the ass to put to bed sometimes

747
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,799
Speaker 3: I was still breastfeeding. I would it would be sort

748
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 3: of like this big ordeal to organize, and you'd finally

749
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 3: get it organized. You know, it might be in a

750
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 3: week or two weeks, and by the time that you

751
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 3: actually get to date night, I've built up these expectations

752
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 3: of how I want this night to go in my head,

753
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 3: like I know what conversations I want to have. I

754
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,879
Speaker 3: know that I want to feel like totally in love

755
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,839
Speaker 3: with my husband again. I want to have really deep

756
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 3: and many feel conversations that I built up this night

757
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 3: so big in my head that the reality of it

758
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 3: was these expectations are you know, ridiculous and they're not

759
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:42,799
Speaker 3: very realistic. So then after date night, I end up

760
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,239
Speaker 3: more disappointed than I am connected to my husband, and

761
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 3: it just feels like, well, a big waste of time,

762
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 3: and I'm back on, you know, three steps backwards. But

763
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 3: when it comes to the one percent, I've learned, like,

764
00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 3: for example, if I want to feel closer to my husband,

765
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 3: a one percent, an example might be getting up off

766
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,799
Speaker 3: wherever I am and greeting him with a kiss as

767
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 3: soon as he gets home, like instead of here's a baby,

768
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,880
Speaker 3: see you later, Hey babe, kiss, how are you going? Like?

769
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,760
Speaker 3: That is a one percent, But because they're so easy

770
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: to do, they're so easy not to do, because we

771
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:21,360
Speaker 3: don't get any instant results or any instant feedback that

772
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 3: this is working. So you know, I could not I

773
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 3: could miss a day of greeting my husband when he

774
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 3: gets home, and I think, oh, it doesn't matter, it's

775
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 3: it's fine. But that's a decision and that will COMPI

776
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 3: compound over time, and I'll feel more distant. So I

777
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,720
Speaker 3: talk about my obsession with butter in the book George,

778
00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:43,239
Speaker 3: where I took about how much other butter? Oh my god.

779
00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 3: I also because my husband rang me yeah, I.

780
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 1: Also have an obsession with butter, so I resonate.

781
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 3: My husband rang me and he's like, oh, you've got

782
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,319
Speaker 3: a supermarket today, baby, and I'm like, oh, I wasn't

783
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,879
Speaker 3: going to. And he's like, well we're out of butter,

784
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,160
Speaker 3: and he's like, you won't cope tomorrow morning if we

785
00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 3: don't have any, and I was like, oh, yeah, no,

786
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 3: I'll make job. I'll make time to go to see Muggs.

787
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 3: But when it comes to like making change, like say

788
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 3: I want to cut back on my butter, do I

789
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:09,439
Speaker 3: really I don't think I really want to. But let's

790
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 3: just say, for the sake of this conversation, I want

791
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 3: to cut back off my butter, going cold turkey or

792
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 3: making a big change. And can I just say that

793
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 3: it's just been Easter and we've just had hot gotspuns,

794
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 3: so you can't not get around the butter. But let's

795
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 3: just say, for the sake of it, I want to

796
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,520
Speaker 3: give up and want to make changes with my relationship,

797
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 3: with my disgusting relationship with butter. Asking me to do

798
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 3: it all at once, like cold turkey. No, I'm not

799
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:37,799
Speaker 3: even interested in doing that, but I could try, and

800
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 3: it might last a week maybe two if my willpower

801
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 3: stays really strong and we don't go through Easter time.

802
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,360
Speaker 3: But if you ask me to just put one percent back,

803
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 3: even I can do that, Like I can put one

804
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 3: percent of the butter back, and it might probably a

805
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 3: normal person probably wouldn't be able to tell it. It

806
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 3: would feel like I'm not making any difference. But I

807
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 3: tell you what, if I put one percent back every

808
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 3: single day in a year, I'm three hundred and sixty

809
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 3: five times better than I was. And that's just math. Like,

810
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,360
Speaker 3: think about what about compound interest, Like it's going to

811
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 3: build and build, and the better I get, the better

812
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 3: the better gets. So that's sort of how I sort

813
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 3: of talk about the one percent and how the small

814
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:24,959
Speaker 3: things really are the big things even when they don't

815
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,880
Speaker 3: they don't feel like it or we don't notice it,

816
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 3: but they're easy to do and they're super easy not

817
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 3: to do, so that's sometimes how we really miss them.

818
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 1: I love this conversation and it's funny because I was

819
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 1: even thinking about this something that me and Timothy have

820
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: started doing. Prior to IVY. We used to have this

821
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 1: tradition and it was Sunday beach coffee where we were

822
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 1: you know, five hundred meters from the beach, or we

823
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 1: either walk or drive and we'd get a coffee and

824
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 1: we'd sit in this exact same spot. It was like

825
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 1: in house in front of a house that we absolutely loved,

826
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 1: and we would spend hours on the beach on our

827
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 1: Sunday morning discussing, having deep conversations, and it was such

828
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,640
Speaker 1: it was like, you know, it was very sacred. We

829
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,120
Speaker 1: would both never plan anything on a Sunday morning. It

830
00:45:17,239 --> 00:45:21,280
Speaker 1: was like our thing. And then since having Ivy, that obviously,

831
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,279
Speaker 1: you know, dropped away because it's really hard to get

832
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 1: a baby to the beach and try and have a

833
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 1: deep conversation when they're feeding or crying and all the things.

834
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: So that dropped away, and I remember kind of, you know, thinking, oh,

835
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,719
Speaker 1: that was something really special in our relationship. But it's like,

836
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,359
Speaker 1: I just don't see how that kind of happens. And

837
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 1: so what we have been doing recently is when I

838
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 1: wake up on a Sunday, we naturally just awake earlier,

839
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 1: so it's usually like an hour before Ivy gets up,

840
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 1: and I straight away don't go on my phone, don't

841
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 1: do anything like that. I straight away get up, I

842
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,919
Speaker 1: make me and Tim a coffee, and then I go

843
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:03,840
Speaker 1: upstairs open the blinds. We are, you know, so grateful

844
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:06,720
Speaker 1: to have water views, and we look at the ocean

845
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:12,919
Speaker 1: together and we have that conversation. Now, sometimes Ivy wakes

846
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,400
Speaker 1: up ten minutes later and so we've had ten minutes.

847
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes we might get half an hour. And I did

848
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 1: notice my brain kind of going, oh, is this even

849
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: worth it? I won't even bother, But I was like, no,

850
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:27,360
Speaker 1: that that actually matters, That ten minutes matters, that intention

851
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:31,279
Speaker 1: of us, you know, creating that space together matters. And

852
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 1: then how beautiful now that you know Ivy then Joys

853
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: joins us for a little bit, and then she gets

854
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 1: a bit crazy and we have to go downstairs. But

855
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 1: it's about realizing, yeah, those small moments actually matter, and

856
00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:47,840
Speaker 1: even I think, especially in motherhood, even though it's not

857
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 1: going to look like you could previously with making changes,

858
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:55,320
Speaker 1: because previously, for example, if you wanted to get on

859
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: a health kick, well you could go out Sunday, you

860
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 1: could meal prep, you could plan your workouts for the week,

861
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,760
Speaker 1: and you could do a big change in a small

862
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:06,959
Speaker 1: amount of time and feel very accomplished. But those sorts

863
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,319
Speaker 1: of things when you're a mother, like they're usually just

864
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 1: not as available to you. I don't like to, you know,

865
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 1: use limiting articulation around it, but it's kind of just

866
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:20,080
Speaker 1: what the truth is. So I love that you brought

867
00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:24,800
Speaker 1: this to the table because even those small, small changes

868
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:29,280
Speaker 1: is going to make a big difference, especially over time.

869
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 1: But if you straight away discredit them because they're small,

870
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: you're doing you and your family such disservice.

871
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 3: That's such a beautiful Sunday you know routine that you've

872
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 3: got going on. That's so nice. Thank you. Yeah, I

873
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 3: love that.

874
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's and that's the thing is like sometimes it's

875
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 1: you know, can be a bit chaotic and it's not

876
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: exactly what I wanted, but again sometimes it's really beautiful,

877
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 1: and I think that's that's the point.

878
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:57,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

879
00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 1: To finish off, I would love to talk to you

880
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: about out our emotions of our children, because you know,

881
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 1: Ivy's a toddler now and she's thrown the tantrums. She's

882
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 1: got big emotions and she's figuring it all out. And

883
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 1: it's quite lucky because I have been doing some like

884
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 1: aware parenting courses and you know, really digging into what

885
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 1: she's mirroring that's triggering me and I loved how you

886
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: touched on this in the book, And I remember a

887
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 1: part when you were talking about when Zepha was about

888
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: two and a half years old, and you know, he's

889
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: expressing a wide variety of emotions, and it was very

890
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 1: triggering to you because you express that you suppressed your

891
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 1: emotions and I was the exact same, you know, just

892
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,680
Speaker 1: in the environment that I was brought up in. So

893
00:48:43,719 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: I'd love for you to touch on how we can

894
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 1: kind of navigate these moments and why it's so important

895
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: for us to actually like lean into our children children

896
00:48:54,200 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: expressing their emotions.

897
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 3: First of all, sending love and patience to you, because

898
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 3: it's not an easy time.

899
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 1: Toddler's very fun.

900
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 3: They're a new you know, They're just a whole different ballgame,

901
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 3: aren't they. And I always approach this question with the

902
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,080
Speaker 3: viewpoint of the mother and coming back to the mum,

903
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 3: because I think what it is really saying is that

904
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 3: our children having these emotions, but it's what it triggers

905
00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 3: in us that's the hard part. So if my son

906
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 3: is screaming and he is having a hard time, is

907
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:33,560
Speaker 3: really angry quite often, the hard part is how I

908
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:37,319
Speaker 3: feel in that moment, how I'm feeling when he's like that,

909
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 3: and I just want him to stop because I want

910
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:43,439
Speaker 3: the feelings within me to stop. So I think you're right.

911
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 3: Kids are like this mirror that really shine back on us.

912
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 3: And what a beautiful you know, aren't they? Don't they

913
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:53,279
Speaker 3: just give us this, you know, such eliquent opportunity to

914
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:57,160
Speaker 3: work on ourselves and really expose our shadows. And it

915
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 3: is it's parts of myself that I hit in the

916
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,440
Speaker 3: shadows for a really long time that I didn't want

917
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 3: to admit that I had these parts of myself, so

918
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 3: I didn't want to know it. And so to have

919
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:10,200
Speaker 3: someone say, hey, I'm evoking this emotion in you, it's

920
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 3: time that you better start dealing with it and get

921
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 3: it out of the cupboard. It's really hard, and particularly

922
00:50:15,360 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 3: the most you know, anger, I feel like I've been

923
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 3: such I've had lots of lovely opportunities, thank you to

924
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 3: my children, to get in touch with my anger and

925
00:50:25,320 --> 00:50:27,600
Speaker 3: build a healthier relationship with it, because for a long

926
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,520
Speaker 3: time I didn't have any relationship with it. I didn't

927
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,919
Speaker 3: want to admit that I did get angry. I didn't

928
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 3: want to ever feel angry because anger is, you know,

929
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,160
Speaker 3: it's bad and oh it makes you bad mum if

930
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 3: you get angry. But I've learned sort of over time

931
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 3: how to manage my kids' big emotions, and it's not

932
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,239
Speaker 3: really so much to do with them, it's to do

933
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 3: with how I'm feeling in that moment. And as we

934
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,800
Speaker 3: sort of had the conversation just before, is kids feel

935
00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:57,400
Speaker 3: our energy and they breed off our vibe. So I

936
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:02,359
Speaker 3: quickly learned that my goal wasn't to stay calm, it

937
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 3: was to stay present. So if i'm you know, my

938
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 3: son's having some really big emotions, I want to be

939
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,399
Speaker 3: there with him to help him navigate that and help

940
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:17,640
Speaker 3: to support it. But the hardest part is by navigating

941
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 3: my own emotions during that time. So if i feel

942
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,400
Speaker 3: like I'm about to lose my shit because he's screaming,

943
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 3: my ears are starting to bleacause I can't get him

944
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 3: to stop, or my they're all they're fighting. They always fight,

945
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 3: as literally WrestleMania over here, all this all the time.

946
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 3: It can be like, oh my god, just stop, like

947
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 3: just stop, like I've learned to. I've had to learn

948
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 3: because if I'm having a hard time as a mum,

949
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 3: it's not like I can go all right, I've had enough,

950
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 3: I'm going to a yoga class. I'm getting in the car,

951
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 3: see you later, because they need me there, like I'm

952
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 3: mummy in that moment. So I've had to learn strategies

953
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:58,439
Speaker 3: in real time to navigate that, And for me, it's

954
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 3: been like I asked myself three question. Number one, what

955
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,360
Speaker 3: sensations do I feel in my body right now? Quite

956
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 3: often my jaw is clenched, my fists are clean, like

957
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:12,080
Speaker 3: I'm clenching my fists, I feel uneasy in my stomach,

958
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:15,319
Speaker 3: and quite often just noticing dropping out of my mind

959
00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,840
Speaker 3: and into my body helps me to stay present in

960
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 3: that moment. The second question I ask is what do

961
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 3: I know about this part of myself? Like is this

962
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,600
Speaker 3: a familiar feeling? Have I felt this before? Is this

963
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 3: perhaps a childhood wound that that I'm sort of working on?

964
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 3: And then number three is what does this part of

965
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:35,720
Speaker 3: me need right now? And quite often she just needs

966
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,760
Speaker 3: to feel seen or heard, Like you know, I'm cleaning

967
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 3: up the sauce that's been dropped on my couch for

968
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:44,359
Speaker 3: the fourth time, and no one's watching, and no one's

969
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 3: seeing how hard I'm working, And quite often I just

970
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:48,880
Speaker 3: need someone to say I see you and I feel you,

971
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,680
Speaker 3: and so so many times I just put my hands

972
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 3: on my chest and I say, what do I need? Like,

973
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:56,440
Speaker 3: what do I need right now? And if I can

974
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 3: give it to myself, I will, and then I can

975
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 3: sort of I'll navigate my kids' emotions in that time.

976
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 3: But sometimes it's not always like that, Like I certainly

977
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:12,520
Speaker 3: have had a conflict with I want to stay with

978
00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:14,960
Speaker 3: my children while they're having this hard time because I

979
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,080
Speaker 3: want to show them that I love them unconditionally. I

980
00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,840
Speaker 3: love them when they're happy, I love them when they behave,

981
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 3: and I also love them when they're the devil. I

982
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,400
Speaker 3: want to show them that I want to show them

983
00:53:25,440 --> 00:53:28,319
Speaker 3: how to navigate these emotions healthy. I want to be

984
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,920
Speaker 3: there with you. But also like I've had a metal

985
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:32,759
Speaker 3: car throw it at my head and sometimes it's not

986
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,799
Speaker 3: safe for me to hang around so I can say

987
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 3: to my son, you know you're hurting, mummy, I'm going

988
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 3: to give you some space. And when that comes back

989
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 3: to you when you're four year old comes up to

990
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 3: you and says we had a hard time before, didn't we, mum,

991
00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 3: Or I'm sorry for hitting you, mum, Like it just

992
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:57,160
Speaker 3: feels so good, and it makes those hard times really

993
00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:01,400
Speaker 3: worth it when you stick it out and become really

994
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 3: in touch with what triggers you. But I also do

995
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,160
Speaker 3: feel like if I if I said to you, George,

996
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give you a million dollars if you make

997
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 3: a halfway shot basketball, Like if you stand in the

998
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 3: middle of the court and you make a basketball shot,

999
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,200
Speaker 3: I'll give you a million dollars and we'll do it

1000
00:54:20,239 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 3: in a month. We'll do that shot in the month.

1001
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 3: I'll give you a chance. If I asked you when

1002
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 3: would you start practicing, like, what would you say now?

1003
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 3: You would say right now.

1004
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:30,280
Speaker 1: I'd say.

1005
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,799
Speaker 3: So. The point that I make there is you know

1006
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 3: you don't you have to do work on yourself and

1007
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 3: do these practices not in the moment that you need them.

1008
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 3: So things for me like cold therapy, breastwork have been

1009
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:52,680
Speaker 3: really helpful, nervous system flexibility training, that stuff has been

1010
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 3: really helpful in the spaces between when I actually need

1011
00:54:55,560 --> 00:55:00,840
Speaker 3: them because they broaden my capacity to hold my emotions

1012
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:03,160
Speaker 3: and my stress. But what they also do is they

1013
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:06,080
Speaker 3: help me move from I'm stressed out, I want to

1014
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:10,319
Speaker 3: yell and quickly back into connection and regulation. But over

1015
00:55:10,360 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 3: time I've just been. I've also learned that it's not

1016
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:16,600
Speaker 3: about you know, how calm I, how calm I stay at,

1017
00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:19,800
Speaker 3: how present I am in those emotions, and how self

1018
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 3: compassionate I am. Because I lose, I lose my shit.

1019
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:26,319
Speaker 3: I tell you like, I can yell and I can throw.

1020
00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,840
Speaker 3: I've known to throwing poor old Wags, the dog, the

1021
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 3: teddy at the wall when I've gotten really angry. But

1022
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:35,040
Speaker 3: I used to. I used to feel I used to

1023
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:37,880
Speaker 3: beat myself up for that. Boy, did I beat myself

1024
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,880
Speaker 3: up for that. I'm a horrible mum, not only for

1025
00:55:40,960 --> 00:55:43,719
Speaker 3: getting angry, but for also letting my children see me

1026
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 3: get so mad. But my kids are incredible. I'm proud

1027
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 3: that they have seen me get angry, and I've proud

1028
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:57,200
Speaker 3: that they've seen me manage that in a healthy, conscious way.

1029
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 3: And there's a difference between losing control my anger and

1030
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 3: expressing my anger consciously. So if I let my kids

1031
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 3: see me like, oh, I'm just so angry, like I

1032
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,279
Speaker 3: just need to get this out of my body, like,

1033
00:56:10,719 --> 00:56:13,040
Speaker 3: I'm proud that they can see me do that and

1034
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:16,320
Speaker 3: to come back into regulation. Because when my son gets angry,

1035
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 3: i'd like him to express it in a healthy way,

1036
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 3: and he's seen it and he's witnessed me do it

1037
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:24,560
Speaker 3: in a really safe way. So and I also like

1038
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 3: the fact that my kids know I've got another level,

1039
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 3: like Mummy can turn it on when she needs to.

1040
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:36,879
Speaker 3: So if I need protecting or if I need I

1041
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 3: need the beast, Mum's got it in her. Like if

1042
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:43,319
Speaker 3: I'm calm and serene all the time, I'd like them

1043
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 3: to know that, you know, if push comes to shove,

1044
00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:50,720
Speaker 3: Mum's got my back. He's I've seen it, I've seen

1045
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,879
Speaker 3: what she can do, and if I play my cards right,

1046
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:57,960
Speaker 3: she might be on my team. So I like that

1047
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 3: about it too. And for so long I would just

1048
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 3: beat myself up for feeling angry and forgetting like that,

1049
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 3: but I don't anymore. I sort of hold space for that,

1050
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,000
Speaker 3: and I'm proud of the way that my kids have

1051
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 3: responded to that in a way that they're sort of

1052
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 3: starting to mimic that as well. But we did have

1053
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 3: a lightning McQueen metal car throne at the TV the

1054
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:22,960
Speaker 3: other day the other week before we had to get

1055
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 3: a baby, so you know, I'm certainly not all right.

1056
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:28,959
Speaker 3: We claimed it our insurance. We've got a better TV

1057
00:57:29,000 --> 00:57:31,520
Speaker 3: in the end. But you know, I'm not up, certainly

1058
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 3: not perfect, but I'm you know, it's not about for me,

1059
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,840
Speaker 3: It's not about being perfect. It's about how much self

1060
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,400
Speaker 3: compassion I can hold for myself and have my kids

1061
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 3: do the same and witness me making mistakes and then

1062
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 3: saying sorry if I need to, and even saying sorry

1063
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 3: to my kids, because quite often it's a you know,

1064
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 3: it's a power thing. Mummy is more important than me.

1065
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:53,120
Speaker 3: She's bigger, she's you know, Whereas when I come down

1066
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:54,919
Speaker 3: to my kids level, I look them in the eye

1067
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:56,800
Speaker 3: and I say, I'm sorry for yelling at you, mate,

1068
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:58,680
Speaker 3: And then that comes back to me to have my

1069
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 3: three year old come up and say sorry for hitting you,

1070
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 3: Like that's pretty that's pretty powerful, and then it sort

1071
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 3: of like makes it all worth it.

1072
00:58:07,480 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 1: It's funny. When you were talking about it, I was

1073
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:14,040
Speaker 1: really reflecting on an interesting thing that me and Tim

1074
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:18,600
Speaker 1: are navigating, or have navigated, was personally. I grew up

1075
00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 1: in a family where my parents would never show any

1076
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: arguments or disagreements between them. They would always be like

1077
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:30,000
Speaker 1: very unified, and then you'd kind of hear them yelling

1078
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 1: in the bedroom kind of thing. Like not, you would

1079
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:34,840
Speaker 1: never see it. You kind of know what happens, but

1080
00:58:34,880 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: you'd never see it. And then Tim's parents are kind

1081
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:40,440
Speaker 1: of a little bit opposite where there was arguing in

1082
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 1: front of you and they don't hold back sort of thing.

1083
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 1: And what I found was, you know, I personally didn't

1084
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 1: know how to navigate disagreements with Tim because I was like,

1085
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 1: I'd never seen it, if that makes sense. So I

1086
00:58:58,280 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 1: was like, is this normal for me to be feel

1087
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 1: this angry? How do I then talk to him? And

1088
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,000
Speaker 1: Tim was kind of the same, but on the board

1089
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 1: spectrum of you know, let's really yell at each other

1090
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 1: and it's fine in two minutes, because that's what was

1091
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 1: reflected to him. So it's also realizing if your child

1092
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 1: never sees you get angry, if you're just calm, collected

1093
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:21,480
Speaker 1: and darling, it's okay and blah blah blah, they're never

1094
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,520
Speaker 1: going to be like, oh, so mom never expresses anger.

1095
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,520
Speaker 1: So if I have anger and I express it, I'm wrong.

1096
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 1: And that's also not the vibe. And I think it's

1097
00:59:31,240 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 1: also you know, for me and Tim, it's about finding

1098
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 1: how do we have these discussions and disagreements in a

1099
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:43,040
Speaker 1: very healthy way. And I think that's a big thing

1100
00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:45,960
Speaker 1: that I want to work on with i'v in her

1101
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:51,040
Speaker 1: emotions and also making sure I'm not hiding myself or

1102
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:53,960
Speaker 1: I'm not watering myself down, because then that's just going

1103
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 1: to model to her of she she should do the.

1104
00:59:57,320 --> 01:00:01,040
Speaker 3: Same one hundred and how you know, I think it's

1105
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 3: okay if your kids see you fight, as long as

1106
01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,360
Speaker 3: they see you reconcile. And it's okay if they see

1107
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 3: you get angry as long as they show you if

1108
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 3: you show them how to make amends or how to

1109
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:16,840
Speaker 3: express anger where you don't hurt anyone. We're currently learning

1110
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:19,640
Speaker 3: how to throw pillows instead of you know, metal cars.

1111
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 3: So you know, it's like I can't like think about

1112
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:28,560
Speaker 3: it as like a rather band. It's stretched back so tight.

1113
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 3: And then I'm like, no, don't let it go. You

1114
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:32,840
Speaker 3: have to stay like that. I want him to let

1115
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:34,640
Speaker 3: it go. I need to let it go, but I

1116
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 3: need to do it in a way that's sort of healthy.

1117
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:40,640
Speaker 3: So I'm walking around hitting pillows saying that when I'm angry,

1118
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 3: so that when he gets angry, that's something that he

1119
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:45,800
Speaker 3: knows he can do where you know, so you know

1120
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:48,000
Speaker 3: it's okay. One hundred percent. I agree, as long as

1121
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 3: they see that they full loop exactly, loop exactly. Yeah,

1122
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 3: so true, so true, Emily. I'd like to ask you

1123
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,200
Speaker 3: two last questions.

1124
01:00:57,200 --> 01:01:00,680
Speaker 1: So the first one is and I would very much

1125
01:01:00,760 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 1: describe you as a mom doing motherhood on her own terms.

1126
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 1: And I would love for you to share with the

1127
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 1: audience what is your favorite part of being, you know,

1128
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:13,880
Speaker 1: a mom and doing your life on your own terms.

1129
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 3: I love that, Thank you, It's a big compliment. I

1130
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:22,960
Speaker 3: like it. I think making my own rules, I love that.

1131
01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:26,600
Speaker 3: And I and my motto lately and from a community

1132
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:29,560
Speaker 3: has been using lessons from motherhood or from mom life

1133
01:01:29,600 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 3: to create our life, and manifesting is a big part

1134
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 3: of that, George, with you know, actually deciding now what

1135
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 3: life we want to create, because I don't think I've

1136
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:44,800
Speaker 3: ever had apart from motherhood. Motherhood has made me so

1137
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 3: clear on what I want. It's made me so clear

1138
01:01:48,080 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 3: on what's important to me. Never have I been clear

1139
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:54,040
Speaker 3: about the legacy that I want to leave. So if

1140
01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 3: I am learning these lessons in motherhood, it's because I'm

1141
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 3: meant to learn them and I'm create my life from them.

1142
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:05,440
Speaker 3: And like we said before, like if when we experience these,

1143
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 3: you know, uncomfortable emotions, it really exposues to us what's

1144
01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:13,360
Speaker 3: important to us. And so that's living life on my terms,

1145
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:15,440
Speaker 3: is creating my life. And I used to think I

1146
01:02:15,480 --> 01:02:17,680
Speaker 3: couldn't do it with kids. I used to think, I'll

1147
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 3: live my life and i'll be I'll have my career

1148
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,480
Speaker 3: and then I'll have my kids. But it's both. I

1149
01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 3: can have both. I can be a mom and a

1150
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:29,320
Speaker 3: fucking boss. I can be a mom because I am

1151
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,360
Speaker 3: and because I'm a mom. That's why I'm a boss.

1152
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 3: Because I'm a mom. That's why I'd be able to

1153
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:37,320
Speaker 3: create the life that I have. And early on in

1154
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 3: my maiden self thought that I couldn't have both. I

1155
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 3: had to have one or the other. Had to be

1156
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,920
Speaker 3: a mom or or I couldn't have kids. I had

1157
01:02:44,960 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 3: and I could live my own life. But that is

1158
01:02:47,040 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 3: not my experience. I'm living the life I want to

1159
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 3: live because I have my children and because of the

1160
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:55,160
Speaker 3: lessons that they've taught me and because of the right

1161
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 3: of passage that they've made me go through to be

1162
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 3: who I am today.

1163
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:05,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's incredible. It's so like, it's so

1164
01:03:05,840 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: correct too. It's our silly little minds creating the illusion

1165
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:11,240
Speaker 1: that we can't have at all, and we're not. We're

1166
01:03:11,240 --> 01:03:14,280
Speaker 1: not doing it here, especially on this podcast. So I

1167
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,240
Speaker 1: appreciate that. And the very last question, what is the

1168
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 1: best piece of advice you've ever been given?

1169
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 3: Good one? So this I have this thought of when

1170
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,120
Speaker 3: I first found out that I was pregnant with Knox,

1171
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 3: my second child, I was only I was only five

1172
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:34,040
Speaker 3: months postpartum, and I was freaking the fuck out, if

1173
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:37,760
Speaker 3: I'm honest, and I was getting my nails done. I

1174
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:40,160
Speaker 3: was because I was like, oh my god, motherhood is

1175
01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:42,920
Speaker 3: so fucking hard. I'm not having another one until Zephyr's

1176
01:03:42,920 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 3: in school, in high school, and then I'll have another one,

1177
01:03:46,240 --> 01:03:50,040
Speaker 3: like that was the plan. And then to be pregnant

1178
01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 3: at five months it was like I could not imagine.

1179
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:58,200
Speaker 3: It took a lot, it took a lot of navigating,

1180
01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:00,439
Speaker 3: and then it came with the guilty of oh my god.

1181
01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:04,280
Speaker 3: My first reaction wasn't happy as anyway, q Q the

1182
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 3: guilt trip and I was in the nail salon and

1183
01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:10,280
Speaker 3: I was sitting next to this really gorgeous old lady.

1184
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:12,560
Speaker 3: So you know those older ladies at the nail salon,

1185
01:04:12,600 --> 01:04:15,600
Speaker 3: where they they have their weekly appointment. Everyone knows their

1186
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 3: name and they have just fabulous nails and fabulous hair.

1187
01:04:18,240 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 3: We just got chatting and she said to me, if

1188
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 3: you're busy with one, you might as well be busy

1189
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 3: with two. And ever since she said that, I was like,

1190
01:04:26,000 --> 01:04:28,000
Speaker 3: oh my god, right, I'm busy with one, I might

1191
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 3: as well be busy with two. And that just helped

1192
01:04:29,840 --> 01:04:32,960
Speaker 3: me process everything. So that's something that stands out to

1193
01:04:33,040 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 3: me for sure.

1194
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:36,920
Speaker 1: I love that so much. That's actually like me and

1195
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,520
Speaker 1: him laugh all the time because before we got pregnant

1196
01:04:39,520 --> 01:04:42,080
Speaker 1: with Ivy, we had a long trying to conceive journey,

1197
01:04:42,360 --> 01:04:45,040
Speaker 1: and we actually remember ourselves being like we'd love to

1198
01:04:45,120 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 1: have twins, and then like we had Ivy, we by god,

1199
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:53,240
Speaker 1: like we grow Yeah, like we were like, let's do

1200
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:56,440
Speaker 1: it and you but it's so true because we you know,

1201
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,120
Speaker 1: we are probably gonna have two kids. So it's like

1202
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:02,280
Speaker 1: we're like, let's just smash it out. And that's so true,

1203
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:03,880
Speaker 1: Like you just you smacked it out.

1204
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 3: Yes, on identical between George, there's a little bit of

1205
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:10,600
Speaker 3: an insight scoop. There's two of me.

1206
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 1: I know I did get that tripped out when I

1207
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 1: was on your socials. I was like, what's happening right now?

1208
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 3: But that was like one of the first things when

1209
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:21,680
Speaker 3: we were pregnant. Now we're like, holy fuck, go get

1210
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:26,000
Speaker 3: a scam. There's not doing there is there Like no thanks, that's.

1211
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:30,320
Speaker 1: Just incredible and honestly, congratulations with your third pregnancy. That

1212
01:05:30,320 --> 01:05:34,200
Speaker 1: that's amazing you you are Seriously you're super bumpered.

1213
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:37,320
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Emily.

1214
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:40,080
Speaker 1: This has just been the most beautiful chat. I appreciate

1215
01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 1: so much. I will chuck all the links for your

1216
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:46,840
Speaker 1: beautiful book Like a Mother in the show notes and

1217
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 1: your socials so everyone can go and find you. But

1218
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:52,360
Speaker 1: do you want to just let the RNC community know

1219
01:05:52,400 --> 01:05:52,960
Speaker 1: where you are?

1220
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:57,560
Speaker 3: Oh my god, amazing, thank you. I've had such a

1221
01:05:57,600 --> 01:05:59,440
Speaker 3: fun time. And I said this to you before we

1222
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:01,360
Speaker 3: pressed for record. I was like, I know, I haven't really

1223
01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:04,240
Speaker 3: spoken to you in real like actual time, but I

1224
01:06:04,280 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 3: feel like I just know you and I feel like

1225
01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,880
Speaker 3: they're friends already because of, you know, getting to know

1226
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 3: each other on socials and being in each other's community.

1227
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:16,560
Speaker 3: So yeah, you can get in side my sole Nation membership.

1228
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:18,960
Speaker 3: You can just go to Emilyeast dot com dot au

1229
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:23,080
Speaker 3: if that's exciting for you, and then yeah, just the

1230
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:25,640
Speaker 3: best ways to probably reach out on my socials as well.

1231
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:29,200
Speaker 3: But I always love hearing from from readers and from

1232
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:31,320
Speaker 3: and from people, so you know, hit me.

1233
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:35,240
Speaker 1: Up amazing and ah, it has been such a pleasure,

1234
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:37,920
Speaker 1: and we look we're best friends, so I feel the

1235
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 1: exact same way. Thank you so much, Emily, Thank you,

1236
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:50,120
Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening to another episode of

1237
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,320
Speaker 1: the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed it and

1238
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:57,680
Speaker 1: want more, come connect with us on Instagram at Risinconquer

1239
01:06:57,920 --> 01:07:01,840
Speaker 1: dot podcast and join us Facebook discussion group, a Rise

1240
01:07:01,880 --> 01:07:06,000
Speaker 1: and Conquer podcast community. We're an independent podcast and we

1241
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:08,800
Speaker 1: have a small team, so we do appreciate your time

1242
01:07:08,840 --> 01:07:11,640
Speaker 1: and support. If you have a spare moment, a follow

1243
01:07:11,800 --> 01:07:15,680
Speaker 1: or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to would be

1244
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:19,840
Speaker 1: so amazing. And look, if you're feeling extra kind, a

1245
01:07:19,960 --> 01:07:22,680
Speaker 1: review on Apple Podcasts would be great.