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Speaker 1: This is a Will and Woody podcast. Mini, but when

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Speaker 1: you're in a rash.

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Speaker 2: I thought this woman was a professional.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, she's she's she's professionally late. I'll tell you

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Speaker 3: that much.

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Speaker 2: It's starting to become a thing.

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Speaker 1: It isn't It.

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Speaker 3: Is our fairy god Martha, Martha Keller for Tita's. There's

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Speaker 3: no problem too big or too small.

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Speaker 1: If you're having an issue, you know who to call.

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Speaker 1: It's woman Woodies, very god Martha.

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Speaker 3: She is joining us from another studio she's running in now.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure if she's live just yet. She's famously late.

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Speaker 2: Are you there, Martha?

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Speaker 1: Guys, don't too many.

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Speaker 3: I'm here just made it like long ago.

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Speaker 1: Did you literally heard everything you just said about me? Will? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, no shame in saying any of that.

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Speaker 2: Do you have an excuse for being late?

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Speaker 1: Marfa? It is like the torrential raining Sydney's ciders. Can

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Speaker 1: I just say Sydney Siders? If you're listening, you guys

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Speaker 1: don't know how to drive in the rain. Sorry but

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Speaker 1: you don't. I thought you.

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Speaker 3: Didn't drive yourself around, mate, I thought you hated drive.

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Speaker 1: I'm a great driver. I was talking about everyone else

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Speaker 1: on the road to carass.

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Speaker 3: Such a good such a good driver that you once

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Speaker 3: drove your dad's car home with one of the one

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Speaker 3: of the doors off.

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Speaker 1: Wow, are we going to go back? Then?

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Speaker 3: I told that's true the other day because I was

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Speaker 3: at the Caltext where you had the door taken off,

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Speaker 3: and I was telling my girlfriend about it. She was like,

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Speaker 3: you couldn't believe that you drove the car home with

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Speaker 3: the door off.

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Speaker 1: You gotta do what you got to do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, that's fair enough. I think the cherry on

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Speaker 3: the cake was the Vogue magazine and the sloopy, which

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Speaker 3: you really got after the door had been taken off. Now, Mark,

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Speaker 3: the last time you were here, you gave us a

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Speaker 3: little bit of homework. We were talking about this, James.

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Speaker 3: We're talking about guys dabbing when they go to the toilet.

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Speaker 2: Can you give it a go for us?

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Speaker 1: James?

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Speaker 2: Come on, mate, don't knock it to you try it.

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Speaker 2: Give it a I'm gonna go and have over the track.

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Speaker 1: Homework for the week, have a dad. See how Sorry?

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Speaker 2: So Martha, I'm excited. I want to say I did

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Speaker 2: your homework.

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Speaker 1: And how do you feel?

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Speaker 2: I love it?

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Speaker 1: Do you really?

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Speaker 2: People don't know what we're talking about. You just give

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Speaker 2: it a toilet paper dab rather than flicking it, because

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Speaker 2: then we goes everywhere. Martha, there's so much more than

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Speaker 2: you think.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, it's music to my ears. Honestly, it's quite comfortable.

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Speaker 2: It's quite comfortable at the end. One concern for the

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Speaker 2: people that are new to dabbing is make sure you

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Speaker 2: get your toilet paper in your hand before you start winging.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because then you've got it. I can just imagine.

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Speaker 1: I'm visualizing kind of like hold on to one thing

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Speaker 1: and try and reach and bend over and grab another thing.

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Speaker 1: And then it's the tearing the toilet paper off, the annoying.

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Speaker 2: Part, that jolt that made me miss the whole toilet completely.

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Speaker 1: Imagining this because you know, sometimes like we wear bodysuits,

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Speaker 1: so girls sometimes wear a body suit and sometimes you

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Speaker 1: can't get it off if it's like a one piece one,

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Speaker 1: so you have to like move it to the side. Oh,

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Speaker 1: and so you've got it kind of like hover because

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Speaker 1: if it's a public toilet, you're not really sitting on it,

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Speaker 1: so you've got to hover over the toilet, hold the

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Speaker 1: bodysuit and flick and get the toilet paper. Yeah, which

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Speaker 1: is not me anyway. I'm glad that we're talking about

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Speaker 1: this again. We always can't get to this. We always

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Speaker 1: get to this, guys. Honestly, what's wrong with us? What's

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Speaker 1: in there? There was a lot.

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Speaker 2: One thing I've picked out from what you just said, Martha,

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Speaker 2: is that so on public toilets, do you refuse to

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Speaker 2: make contact? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I don't make contact on public toilets at all times,

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Speaker 1: even if I'm drunk.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to have those. You've got to have

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Speaker 1: the strong glue to hold you up.

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Speaker 3: I reckon, We're going to go to it. We've got

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Speaker 3: more with Marvel. Look, I'm just going to touch on

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Speaker 3: this briefly because we're not allowed to dive into any

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Speaker 3: more of this chat with Martha because that's what happens.

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Speaker 3: But I did hook it, so I feel like I

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Speaker 3: need to just, you know, tip the cap to it.

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Speaker 3: There was a study done in Korea which suggests that

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Speaker 3: a man of the length of a man's index finger

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Speaker 3: tells you exactly how long his corn cob is. Smaller

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Speaker 3: the index finger, bigger the corn cob. All right, we've

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Speaker 3: covered it, great.

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Speaker 1: Good job, awesome, smaller, bigger, Okay, yep.

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Speaker 2: Perfect. How big is Michael's index finger?

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Speaker 1: No, Michael has like the biggest hands ever.

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Speaker 3: Oh, dear, and Martha and his corn Cob is big too.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what.

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Speaker 3: In the studio I'm too big or too small.

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Speaker 1: If you're having an issue, you know who to call.

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Speaker 1: It's woman Woodies, very god, Marsha, truthormatic.

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Speaker 3: All right, we're moving on.

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Speaker 2: We're moving on.

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Speaker 3: We've covered it.

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Speaker 1: Don't ask you know, I'm always going to tell the truth.

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Speaker 2: No, it's so.

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Speaker 3: Good, it's so good. So let's talk a little bit

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Speaker 3: about this situation on Maths last night. Would because I

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Speaker 3: know you're interested in this. I personally don't have this

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Speaker 3: issue because my partner and I both hate buying clothes. Sure,

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Speaker 3: you can empathize with the Carolina and Dion situation on Maths.

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Speaker 2: I don't know all the ins and outs of Carolina

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Speaker 2: and Dean, but I know they were having a fight

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Speaker 2: over how much stuff they both had that they were

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Speaker 2: now going to.

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Speaker 3: Have too much gear put.

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Speaker 2: Into a shared space. That's right now at my domicile,

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Speaker 2: at my home, I have been relegated to the room

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Speaker 2: upstairs to put my.

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Speaker 3: Tell you have to go upstairs to put pants on

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Speaker 3: these days.

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Speaker 1: That's it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I've got my shortstageous, but if I want

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Speaker 2: to put on a longer pant, I need to climb

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Speaker 2: the stairs because mim has slowly but steadily just taken

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Speaker 2: over my side of the wardrobe. So so what I've

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Speaker 2: tried to instill in our house, Martha, and I want

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Speaker 2: to hear your thoughts on this is the one in,

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Speaker 2: one out policy. So if you buy a new top,

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Speaker 2: that's fine. I'm never going to have any issues with

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Speaker 2: her buying new stuff. Now that's that's that's her hash.

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Speaker 3: What are you trying to do with it?

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Speaker 2: Is fine? But if you're gonna bring something into the hash,

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Speaker 2: you've got to throw a top out, do you reckon?

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Speaker 2: That's a good rule, Martha.

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Speaker 1: I think that's cute for your household, but it wouldn't

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Speaker 1: really fly in our household.

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Speaker 3: No, be honest, it doesn't really fly in Woody's household either.

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Speaker 1: Like no, And like what's the point of it? Like

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Speaker 1: shopping is like you're collecting, you're building a wardrobe, you're building.

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Speaker 3: A war chest.

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Speaker 2: I get that, but what if the war chest is full,

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Speaker 2: Like the war chest is already overflowing, is it go

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Speaker 2: I'll take it.

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Speaker 1: You don't.

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Speaker 3: What annoys me about about women's shopping in general here

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Speaker 3: we go is when they're like, you point to the

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Speaker 3: thing that's been there for like ten years, Well no,

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Speaker 3: they no, they bring it out. They bring it like

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Speaker 3: I bought this like ten years ago, and you're like,

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Speaker 3: I've never seen that, right, I didn't even know that,

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Speaker 3: Like what part of the wardrobe did that come from?

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Speaker 3: I've never seen it. Yes, you've certainly never mentioned it

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Speaker 3: to me before. And then you go, well, you know,

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Speaker 3: surely we can give that away and they go.

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Speaker 1: Well, no, man, I might need it for No, when when.

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Speaker 3: You need it four in ten years.

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Speaker 1: I have like an archive of things that.

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Speaker 3: You're going to go the librarian.

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Speaker 1: Ten kilos to wear them. But I'm just like, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I'll wear that again. I wore that when I went

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Speaker 1: out on that weekend when I was waiting. Is it

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Speaker 1: a wait again?

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Speaker 3: Is it like? Because that's what because my button's is

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Speaker 3: ever the same I bought when I was twenty one,

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Speaker 3: and I might be that skinny again.

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Speaker 1: No, it is a little bit a little bit of

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Speaker 1: it is that, Yeah, I'm never going to be the

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Speaker 1: same size I was as when I was twenty one,

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Speaker 1: and but I just keep it just because it makes

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Speaker 1: me feel like shit about myself.

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Speaker 3: So much. It's a funnish. It's a funnish. You glimpse

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Speaker 3: it and you.

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Speaker 1: Cry pretty much, just a reminder, but like, just for

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Speaker 1: some perspective. We have ten wardrobes in our house. So

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Speaker 1: we have three bedrooms, ten wardrobes. One of the downstairs

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Speaker 1: rooms is basically an entire wardrobe. It's wall to.

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Speaker 3: War wardrobe, just with your stuff.

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Speaker 1: No, so nine of those wardrobes are all my things.

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Speaker 1: Michael has one wardrobe and one of his drawers in

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Speaker 1: his wardrobe is actually my bikini draw and I had

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Speaker 1: to like bribe him for that.

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Speaker 3: Really, yeah, no, fair enough. I think as soon as

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Speaker 3: you're encroaching on a man's final wardrobe, I've got a line.

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Speaker 3: I currently have got a wardrobe though, like you've.

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Speaker 2: Got a yes. But the other day Mim said, oh,

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Speaker 2: the weather's getting warmer, maybe I should move my jackets

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Speaker 2: up there, and I was like.

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Speaker 3: This is zero. It's the final it's the final line

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Speaker 3: in the sand.

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Speaker 1: You probably should there's no point having them all that

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Speaker 1: bulk in the like everyday wardrobe, Like you should put

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Speaker 1: them away somewhere so she can have more rooms shut up.

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Speaker 3: There's nothing that does my head in more than like

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Speaker 3: having to move things in wardrobes as well, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, Like once it's there, that that can

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Speaker 3: be my pant draw for twenty years as far as

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Speaker 3: I'm and we know where it is all the time.

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Speaker 3: If the middle draws the pant draw, I'm not going

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Speaker 3: to forget that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to get there and.

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Speaker 3: Be like I swear, I put my pants in you

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Speaker 3: in twenty years.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes when men puts away things in a different spot,

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Speaker 2: the hell's then then is going buying new pants?

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Speaker 3: Yahoo in general? All right, So the one in, one

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Speaker 3: out rule, I think at the end of the day

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Speaker 3: we all have to agree that's probably a man trying

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Speaker 3: to enforce that on a woman. It's just never going

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Speaker 3: to happen.

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Speaker 1: It's never going to happen. Guys, no one's doing that.

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Speaker 2: So just drop it.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't working by example like you do it and

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Speaker 1: I do it. No, I do I do it.

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Speaker 3: One in, one out.

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Speaker 2: I stick by it. Yes, if I buy something I

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Speaker 2: need to throw something out straight away.

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Speaker 3: I'm all one out, one in, Like I don't. Well,

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Speaker 3: I never get rid of until I never get rid

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Speaker 3: of clothes until it's got holes in it or I

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Speaker 3: lose it. Yeah, same thing, at which point I would

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Speaker 3: get something to replace that, and you just try.

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Speaker 1: And find the same buy your own clothes or does

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Speaker 1: your do your partners like shop for you?

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Speaker 2: Sometimes we go shopping together?

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Speaker 1: Okay you no, not you and me?

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Speaker 2: Sorry? Sorry mem and I me and I go shopping

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Speaker 2: together with yeah, and she gives me I'd love to

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Speaker 2: go coming with you?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: Did you hear it malfunctioned?

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Speaker 3: For a minute, I was like, hold the buddy line

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Speaker 3: people finding out that we've got to big W together,

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Speaker 3: And yes, it would be big W because we are

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Speaker 3: bloody cheap.

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Speaker 1: Martha.

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Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us. It's a pleasure to have you here.

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Speaker 3: Martha Calviata, it's our fairy god Martha in the studio

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Speaker 3: with us every Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: Say so mate, say you're done with that? Why not

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Speaker 1: check out more from Women Woody on The Whole Show Podcast.