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Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. Today it's our

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Speaker 1: first New Year's edition of I'll Do Better Tomorrow for

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Speaker 1: those of you who might be new to the pod.

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Speaker 1: On Friday, each week we review the week that was,

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Speaker 1: or in this case, the last few weeks that were,

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Speaker 1: and have a look at what's working and what's not

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Speaker 1: and how we can do better tomorrow. Why because we

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Speaker 1: think as we're transparent about what we're doing in our family,

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Speaker 1: it will help you to make your family life better

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Speaker 1: as well. Today Christmas success or failure, we did a

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Speaker 1: few new things. Did it work or not? Plus New

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Speaker 1: Year's resolutions, we've got to talk about them and how

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Speaker 1: they're playing out for us so far. Stay with us.

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Speaker 1: All of that and more is next. Hello and welcome

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Speaker 1: to the Happy Families podcast, where you get real parenting

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Speaker 1: solutions every single day. This is austraightest, most downloaded parenting podcast.

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Speaker 1: We're really proud and grateful for that. Thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for listening. My name's Docs justin course. I'm here with Kylie,

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Speaker 1: mum to our six kids, my wife of Oh my goodness,

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Speaker 1: we're coming up to twenty eight years in a few weeks,

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Speaker 1: and it's older but it's Moorrow, Kylie. You're running this

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Speaker 1: one because there's been a lot going on the last

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Speaker 1: few weeks. And while we've been doing our best to

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Speaker 1: work with the family across summer, I've also been working

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Speaker 1: in the office a lot because there's this book about

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Speaker 1: boys that's coming out in a few months time, and

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Speaker 1: I'm putting the finishing touches on the finishing touches. The

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Speaker 1: final manuscript is oh so close, so close. I'm so excited,

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Speaker 1: so older bet it tomorrow. Christmas failure or success.

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Speaker 2: I am going to say we nailed it this year,

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Speaker 2: and I wish.

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Speaker 1: Witch lave.

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Speaker 2: Then I hate me twenty five years to learn these things.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to share a few tips with you.

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Speaker 1: We had such a great Christmas this year, didn't we.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was good in all the right ways. It

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Speaker 2: was just such a beautiful day, and I think there

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Speaker 2: were some really key factors that make the difference. So

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Speaker 2: we have three adult children working in a shoe store

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Speaker 2: at the moment, and I had this genius idea to

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Speaker 2: ask them to start bringing home shoe boxes. And I

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Speaker 2: decided to wrap all of the kid's presence into shoe boxes.

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Speaker 2: So it meant that sometimes multiple presents went into one box.

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Speaker 2: But it also meant that come time to opening presents,

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Speaker 2: everyone opened the same amount of presents. That was the

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Speaker 2: first thing. The second thing was it made rapping so easy.

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Speaker 2: Who does not love a box with square edges, clean,

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Speaker 2: easy to wrap made such a difference and I actually

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Speaker 2: went through less wrapping paper as a result. But lastly

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Speaker 2: I coded the wrapping.

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Speaker 1: That was so cool. The kids are looking at the

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Speaker 1: boxes like which one's mine, which one's mine?

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Speaker 2: Well, I said, I coded it, but I didn't put

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Speaker 2: any tags. There was no tags, so there was just

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Speaker 2: these beautifully wrapped presents, all boxes underneath the tree, and

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Speaker 2: they had no idea who was who's until the day

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Speaker 2: and we actually had some fun with it. I got

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Speaker 2: everyone to pick a different wrapping paper from underneath the

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Speaker 2: tree on Christmas Day, they each got to unwrap it

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Speaker 2: and then work out who's president was, and that's how

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Speaker 2: they determined what gift wrapped they got. Yeah, it was

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Speaker 2: just a lot of fun.

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Speaker 1: Can I jump in really quickly and highlight Generally I

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Speaker 1: kind of get overlooked at Christmas, and I'm pretty relaxed

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Speaker 1: about that, like I don't need much and just seeing

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Speaker 1: everyone experience the joy and giving is my favorite way

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Speaker 1: to celebrate Christmas. But this year, for the first time,

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Speaker 1: over the kids, there have been sporadic moments here and there,

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Speaker 1: but for the first time ever, all of the kids

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Speaker 1: really really thought hard about spoiling me and I had

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Speaker 1: the best Christmas ever as well, Like they were really thoughtful,

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Speaker 1: and as I opened the combined gift that they all

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Speaker 1: chipped in for, I just sat there and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm actually speechless, Like this is just so good.

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Speaker 2: And what was crazy is one of the it's actually

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Speaker 2: spilled the beans a few weeks before Christmas.

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Speaker 1: I totally forgot that you.

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Speaker 2: Number one, totally forgot. But I actually think part of

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Speaker 2: it was because you thought there was no way, no

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Speaker 2: way they would do anything like that.

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Speaker 1: And let's just say everybody's happy with the gift. Because

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Speaker 1: the pizza that we booked.

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Speaker 2: In that gift we call was delicious.

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Speaker 1: Was pretty hard to be so anyway, I think it

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Speaker 1: was a massive win. Just such a delightful, delightful opportunity

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Speaker 1: to sit down and celebrate and be with the family.

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Speaker 1: I loved it. We also did something a little bit

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Speaker 1: different so our particular church, we don't have Christmas Day services,

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Speaker 1: and I've always felt like that's a bit of a miss.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we should be going to a Christmas

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Speaker 1: Day service to celebrate the most important day on the

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Speaker 1: Christian calendar. So we went to another church with some friends,

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Speaker 1: and I just felt so great to have that moment

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Speaker 1: and our kids really like I was expecting resistance and pushback,

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Speaker 1: and there was a little bit, but then they all

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Speaker 1: were like, now that was really good. We're so glad

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Speaker 1: we did that. So that was another just another nice touched,

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Speaker 1: another nice element that made the day really nice.

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Speaker 2: And I think the other thing that really stood out

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Speaker 2: to me about the day was we actually kept the

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Speaker 2: food really simple. We had delicious meals, but we just

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Speaker 2: kept it really simple, so I didn't spend lots of

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Speaker 2: time in the kitchen and I got to be a

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Speaker 2: part of the family experience. We just focused on time together.

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Speaker 2: We got into the pool, we had a volleyball net

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Speaker 2: setup and we just played this big ball game together,

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Speaker 2: which we haven't done because we've had lots of little

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Speaker 2: kids for so long. So it was really it was

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Speaker 2: just a beautiful day. By the end of it, I

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Speaker 2: wasn't exhausted, I wasn't frazzled. I was actually just filled

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Speaker 2: was so much gratitude for the beautiful family that we've

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Speaker 2: created together and for the joy that we were able

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Speaker 2: to experience. And as I sat there and I reflected

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Speaker 2: on just the joy on their faces as they're open

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Speaker 2: to their presence. It's really easy to kind of, I guess,

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Speaker 2: get caught up in the materialism of Christmas. But in

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Speaker 2: those moments, what I actually was really grateful for as

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Speaker 2: I reflected on who give the best gifts, it's the

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Speaker 2: people that know us the best. Yeah, they know us

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Speaker 2: so well that they know exactly what we need, even

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Speaker 2: when we sometimes can't articulate what we need or what

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Speaker 2: we hope for or what we want. And I feel

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Speaker 2: like it was a little bit of a pat on

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Speaker 2: the back for you and I in recognition that the

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Speaker 2: effort that we've been putting in to build the foundation

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Speaker 2: of strong, loving relationships with our kids all kind of

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Speaker 2: came together in this beautiful bubble of goodness as each

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Speaker 2: kid just delighted in the things that were under the

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Speaker 2: Christmas tree for.

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Speaker 1: Them this year year one hundred percent, So that's a

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Speaker 1: big win. And hopefully those hints and ideas will be

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Speaker 1: useful for next Christmas. Make some notes come back to

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Speaker 1: this podcast episode in November twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 2: I do have to acknowledge a special mention to Santa.

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Speaker 2: I don't know where he found these mangoes, but these

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Speaker 2: mangoes were so big they were like in themselves.

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Speaker 1: We have a tradition that there's mango stuffed in every

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Speaker 1: child's stocking.

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Speaker 2: Which started when we were poor students who couldn't afford

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Speaker 2: to fill this kid's stockings. So I thought, if I

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Speaker 2: stick a mango in there, that'll take up the whole toe.

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Speaker 1: It'll clog the thing up, right. And now these mangoes

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Speaker 1: did not fit in the stock.

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Speaker 2: They did not.

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Speaker 1: They were literally as big as you had. Anyway, after

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Speaker 1: the break our New Year's resolutions, we're going for a

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Speaker 1: two for one here. We think that some ideas with

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Speaker 1: our New Year's resolutions will also be helpful for you

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Speaker 1: as you kick off twenty twenty six. Stay with us,

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Speaker 1: We're back. This is the Happy Families Podcast. Kylie. We've

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Speaker 1: won when it comes to Christmas, just gone the best

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Speaker 1: one we've ever had. It's taken us a long time

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Speaker 1: to get there. Now it's time to talk about our

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Speaker 1: new Year's resolutions, because I think we're nailing it's the

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Speaker 1: years of getting it wrong and then years of not

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Speaker 1: doing it all because we kept getting it wrong. We're

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Speaker 1: getting it really, really right. So just some context here.

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Speaker 1: Years and years and years ago, I was doing business

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Speaker 1: meetings every quarter, quarterly goals, what's your vision, all that

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Speaker 1: sort of stuff. And then I realized that if I

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Speaker 1: was doing that for my business, my family was way

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Speaker 1: more important. Why are we not doing that as a family.

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Speaker 1: So you and I started going away. Sometimes it was tricky,

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Speaker 1: babysitting was a bit of a challenge, but we started

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Speaker 1: going away every quarter to spend two nights talking about

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Speaker 1: the stuff that matters for our family and for our

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Speaker 1: finances and our spiritual lives and our physical health and

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Speaker 1: our children and all that sort of stuff. It got

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Speaker 1: too hard with the kids, and we didn't do it

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Speaker 1: for a few years.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think too. Sometimes you don't recognize just how

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Speaker 2: much goodness comes from something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, can we que let it slide? Yeah yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're doing fine now, we don't need that. We're fine.

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Speaker 1: But we did it again in December for the New Year,

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Speaker 1: the new quarter, and we set some really big goals

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Speaker 1: for this year in all the dome ino our lives,

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Speaker 1: whether it's financial or spiritual or physical health, or time

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Speaker 1: with the kids and the way we support them, or

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Speaker 1: our relationship with one another. Like we went through everything

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Speaker 1: and the business we spent keeps time on that, and

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Speaker 1: like you said, it feels like having done that has

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Speaker 1: given us the recalibration that we need.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, when I think about the last few years, since

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Speaker 2: Emily came home from school and we started homeschooling. If

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Speaker 2: I'm being completely honest, the last few years, I feel

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Speaker 2: like I've been in a bit of a brain fog

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Speaker 2: and I have really I feel like I've been in

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Speaker 2: survival mode. It's been really hard to find motivation to

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Speaker 2: be intentional about how I use my time, and I've

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Speaker 2: just been really kind of floundering. And so having that

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Speaker 2: time with you before Christmas to recalibrate, to actually get

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Speaker 2: on the same page together. Because while we talk often

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Speaker 2: about the things that we want without setting intentional expectations

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Speaker 2: around how we will achieve what we're going to achieve,

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Speaker 2: it's kind of that cliche, you know, goals that aren't

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Speaker 2: written down are just dreams, hopes that just wishes, They

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Speaker 2: just they don't become anything, and it's given us the

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Speaker 2: clarity that we've needed to step into twenty twenty six

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Speaker 2: with intention and purpose.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so what do you want to say about the goals?

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Speaker 1: Do you want to do some bragging here or what.

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Speaker 2: I kind of do? Because this is a really big deal.

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Speaker 2: Let's do this is a really big deal. On New

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Speaker 2: Year's Day, I went through all of the cuppets, including

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Speaker 2: oh my hidden stash in my wardrobe, cuppets that I

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Speaker 2: didn't even nobody knew about, including all of my New

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Speaker 2: Zealand chocolate that we brought on our recent holiday, and

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Speaker 2: lollies that are literally like childhood favorites that we brought

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Speaker 2: while we were overseas, and I packed them all up

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Speaker 2: and I gave them away. That was a really big

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Speaker 2: deal for me.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we need a massive out of a

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Speaker 1: court right now.

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Speaker 2: That was a really, really big deal. But I feel

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Speaker 2: like it was a huge win because for the first

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Speaker 2: time I was open to doing it. And can I

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Speaker 2: just say this is the big clap. We're almost three

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Speaker 2: weeks in and I have not eaten any process sugar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So that's the thing is no more process sugar,

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Speaker 1: full stop, and a story.

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Speaker 2: And the goal around that is we're not purchasing it

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Speaker 2: and if it's given to us, we'll regift it, and

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Speaker 2: it's just not allowed to be in the house. We're

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Speaker 2: just not doing it.

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Speaker 1: It's a massive win. And we started exercising like we've

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Speaker 1: got a routine. Gosh, I'm saying we've got a routine.

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Speaker 1: But for the last week I've been traveling Southeast Queensland

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Speaker 1: doing professional development in schools all over the place because

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Speaker 1: at the start of the year and this is.

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Speaker 2: You're still kind of sticking with a plan even though

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Speaker 2: it's not the plan. We're just we're trying to move

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Speaker 2: our bodies every day.

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Speaker 1: But I'm back on the bike like I'm riding except

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Speaker 1: for this week and next week. I'm running three hundred

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Speaker 1: k's a week, two hundred and fifty three hundred k's

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Speaker 1: a week again, and we're doing calisthenics. So it's not

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Speaker 1: like we're spending a mots are on lifting weights or

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Speaker 1: anything that's body weight exercises. But we've got somebody who's

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Speaker 1: given us some really good guidance around this, and we're

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Speaker 1: feeling the word that I would use is we've set

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Speaker 1: these goals. We're implementing it. We're eating well, we're moving

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Speaker 1: our bodies, and we're feeling vital, and it just it

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Speaker 1: helps around the house, it helps with the kids. We've

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Speaker 1: got energy that we haven't had for so long.

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Speaker 2: And here's the crazy thing. I don't feel like we're

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Speaker 2: being fanatical about things like there's no.

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Speaker 1: Calorie It doesn't sound fanatical at all.

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Speaker 2: There's no calorie counting going on with eliminated process sugars.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's an important part, right, But we're also

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Speaker 2: just limiting our carb intake. It's not like we've kind

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Speaker 2: of gone cold turkey. We're enjoying an abundant variety of

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Speaker 2: fruits and vegetables. We're kind of living in that whole

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Speaker 2: food aisle instead of living in the processed aisle at

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Speaker 2: the shops. But I think the other thing that's really

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Speaker 2: important for me, I don't know if it works so

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Speaker 2: much for you, if it's I don't know if it's

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Speaker 2: a girl thing or not. But having that opportunity to

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Speaker 2: just daily reflect and affirm the goals that we've set

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Speaker 2: and our intention and then tracking my progress is making

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Speaker 2: such a difference. Because it's so easy to get distracted.

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Speaker 2: It's so easy to get discouraged and to be honest.

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Speaker 2: In Week one, there was a moment where I literally

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Speaker 2: kind of almost fell off the band. It was so close,

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Speaker 2: and then I just remembered what I'm doing and why

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Speaker 2: I'm doing it. The reality is I want to feel strong,

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Speaker 2: I want to feel capable, and I want to be

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Speaker 2: able to enjoy life with my grand baby.

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Speaker 1: You want to be able to lift up our granddaughter.

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Speaker 1: I wasting to say that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, in twenty years, I still want to be able

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Speaker 2: to have fun with them.

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Speaker 1: So we need to wrap this up. The take home

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Speaker 1: message first off, when it comes to Christmas, less is more.

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Speaker 2: And coded wrapping tape is the most fun, so much fun.

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Speaker 1: And obviously there's a bunch of other things that we

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Speaker 1: talked about, but less is more would be how I

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Speaker 1: would summarize that and just focused on time and being

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Speaker 1: really thoughtful about the people that you love and what

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Speaker 1: would light them up. And the take home message from

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Speaker 1: this second part is people are really down on goals,

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Speaker 1: but goals work. But goals work best when you turn

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Speaker 1: them into a lifestyle, into a habit, into a rhythm

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Speaker 1: or a routine, into a pattern. You make the big call,

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Speaker 1: but then you do the work daily. You don't say, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do this triathlon in March, or I'm

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Speaker 1: going to run a marathon in November. Instead you say

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Speaker 1: I'm going to become a runner because that's what I

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Speaker 1: want to do, or I'm going to become a callousthenics, gym,

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Speaker 1: whatever's workout person because I value strength and vitality. And

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Speaker 1: making that shift is it's changing the game for us,

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Speaker 1: making a really big difference. There are take home messages,

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Speaker 1: have a great weekend. We need to wrap it up there.

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Speaker 1: Our time is done. Will be back. We won't be

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Speaker 1: back on Monday. It's Australia Day. Happy Australia Day, everybody

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Speaker 1: for the twenty sixth. We're back instead on the twenty seventh,

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Speaker 1: talking about creating a great relationship with your child's teacher

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Speaker 1: based on a question we've had from a mum who's

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Speaker 1: wanting to get twenty twenty six off to a great start.

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Speaker 1: At Plus, we're talking about why we're homeschool on Wednesday

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Speaker 1: next week as well. Lots of cool content coming up

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Speaker 1: on the pod that The Happy Families podcast is produced by

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Speaker 1: Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Mimhammon's provides research admin and

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Speaker 1: all of our other support. And if you would like

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Speaker 1: more support yourself to make your family happier, you can

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Speaker 1: find it at happy families dot com dot au