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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Black African Woman Network. I'm Sonia Dubet

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Speaker 1: and this platform is a safe space for the modern

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Speaker 1: millennial Black African woman to be seen, be heard, and

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Speaker 1: be inspired. We're so excited to have Amanda and Rumby

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Speaker 1: of the It's Laird podcast with us for the lad

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Speaker 1: Expectations special. Over to you, ladies, enjoy.

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Speaker 2: Hi guys, the beauty of you? How are you, Romby?

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Speaker 3: I'm good. How's it going?

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Speaker 4: I'm good.

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Speaker 2: This is such a happy topic. But I feel like,

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Speaker 2: similar to how we've done this special with Bah. Thank

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Speaker 2: you again for having us. It's very important to like

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Speaker 2: highlight body image. Like I feel like if I had

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Speaker 2: like a big sister or like someone going through life

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Speaker 2: who could talk me through all these changes you know,

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Speaker 2: when you're going through puberty and when you start having,

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Speaker 2: you know, relationships, all these stages where body image always

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Speaker 2: is a thing you have to consider. Like I just

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Speaker 2: found like a lot of times I would just have

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Speaker 2: lots of doubt, never have someone to talk to you

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Speaker 2: because all of you at the same stage or comparing yourselves,

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Speaker 2: you're all there's no one with a bird's eye view. Yes,

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Speaker 2: So this episode is really really interesting to me. Like

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Speaker 2: really getting into the beauty of you, because like, how

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Speaker 2: do you feel your body image has changed over the years,

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Speaker 2: so like high school, unique career now, I.

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Speaker 5: Think, wow, I mean beautifully, it's a beautiful topic intended,

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Speaker 5: but it's so so true and so relevant as you've said,

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Speaker 5: and I think my my body image over the years

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Speaker 5: has changed and stayed the same in some regards.

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Speaker 3: I think when I was in.

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Speaker 5: You know, junior in high school, I felt very sort

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Speaker 5: of frumpy and clumsy, and like, you know, I was

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Speaker 5: referred to as like zido growing up. Yes yes, yes, girl,

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Speaker 5: and that basically means like chumpster. Like there's no other

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Speaker 5: way to really it's not a really nice there's no real.

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Speaker 3: Nice way to put it. It's like you're chubby, like

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Speaker 3: your big girl. So I think that.

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Speaker 5: From an early age that really kind of got stuck

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Speaker 5: in my head, you know, and being told like you're

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Speaker 5: too big, you're bigger.

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Speaker 3: Than your older sister, you're finishing her food.

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Speaker 5: So it made me feel like I'm greedy, I'm fat,

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Speaker 5: you know, So that was a very difficult time as

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Speaker 5: a result. Even the way I dressed, I would just

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Speaker 5: like cover myself, like I wouldn't really care about accentuating

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Speaker 5: the good parts and just like to try and hide myself,

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Speaker 5: if that makes sense.

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Speaker 3: And then as I grew up in.

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Speaker 5: High school, I think towards the end of high school

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Speaker 5: going into university, I started figuring out, like my figure,

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Speaker 5: what works for my.

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Speaker 3: Figure, and also be really active.

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Speaker 5: In high school, I used to run, like the cross

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Speaker 5: country course. I used to, you know, really trying to

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Speaker 5: be active to kind of shad that excess weight.

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Speaker 3: I felt.

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Speaker 5: Same thing through my career to now. I've always been

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Speaker 5: a pretty active person to some degree, like exercise as

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Speaker 5: part of my life for the longest. Like I may

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Speaker 5: not be consistent, like every day every week I go,

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Speaker 5: but it has been because I was always and have

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Speaker 5: always been conscious of my figure. So yeah, a difficult

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Speaker 5: relationship with my body over the years, still learning to

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Speaker 5: embrace that and still and then I've seen myself too

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Speaker 5: when I really shared a lot of weight and I

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Speaker 5: was like, oh, you look a bit count.

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Speaker 3: Does that make sense?

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Speaker 5: So it's like, yeah, like this ideal of he's got

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Speaker 5: to be thin, maybe it's not for everybody, if that

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Speaker 5: makes sense. Yeah, how you embrace your journey and what

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Speaker 5: does that look like for you?

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Speaker 4: For me, I was very told like from.

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Speaker 2: A kid and then skinny, and like in another world

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Speaker 2: that might not have been an issue, like especially a

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Speaker 2: Western world, but in an African world that was an

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Speaker 2: issue because then now it's too skinny, you know, Like

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Speaker 2: I remember like I would sit on like someone's lap,

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Speaker 2: like you know, my aunt or something, and they're like, hey,

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Speaker 2: your bones are digging into me, and it's like wow, okay,

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Speaker 2: so the unconsciously and now I stood to this day

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Speaker 2: don't sit on people's lap like I just don't, regardless

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Speaker 2: of now having.

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Speaker 4: A bit more cushion. I'm just like no, no, no.

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Speaker 2: So like it's one of those things where it's funny

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Speaker 2: because it's much you can be fat shamed, you can

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Speaker 2: be thin shamed as well, and like I had that,

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Speaker 2: you know, so what I had, you know, flat boat.

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Speaker 2: I didn't have boobs. I didn't really have much of

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Speaker 2: an ass either. So it's like it's also becomes a

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Speaker 2: thing where you're too tall for the guys and then

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Speaker 2: you don't have things that people's desire on your body.

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Speaker 2: So puberty was such a weird stage for me because

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Speaker 2: I would eat as much as I want to eat,

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Speaker 2: but it's not like the weight would go where I

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Speaker 2: wanted to go. So like it wasn't like people were like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you don't eat, Oh you must not eat, and like

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Speaker 2: I love food and such a food I still am,

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Speaker 2: but like it just wasn't. My body just wasn't built

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Speaker 2: like that, whether it was metabolism or what. And then

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Speaker 2: somehow when I came here for Korea, like UNI and

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Speaker 2: stuff to Australia, they always talk about like the Heathrow injection,

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Speaker 2: you know when.

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Speaker 4: And they go over seas and then bam, they gain weight.

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Speaker 2: People would been typically skinny and for me it didn't

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Speaker 2: happen like that at all. But then at the same time,

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Speaker 2: slowly and surely, like the way I am now is

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Speaker 2: a bit more.

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Speaker 4: I have a bit more weight.

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Speaker 2: On me than I have ever had. So it's also

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Speaker 2: that journey of this is beautiful too, like almost like

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Speaker 2: this is what you wanted and then now you got it.

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Speaker 2: But then you can't have the big ass with no

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Speaker 2: satellite on the thighs, with no you know, fu pie.

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Speaker 4: And all those things. It's like it's like you can

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Speaker 4: never win.

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Speaker 2: And then you're also competing with an ever growing space

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Speaker 2: with social media and how women are meant to look,

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Speaker 2: so my body image has just never been in sync

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Speaker 2: with how I wanted to be. I was skinny and

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Speaker 2: I lived in an African world.

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Speaker 4: That was a no no.

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Speaker 2: Now I'm not so skinny. I live in a Western world.

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Speaker 2: It's like a no no.

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Speaker 5: So it's like, and what I'm hearing from you, it

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Speaker 5: starts at an early age, and it's all these little

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Speaker 5: tidbits that come not necessarily from people who should have

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Speaker 5: anything to say about you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, your body anyway, but.

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Speaker 5: Like then it's just those things that stick with you

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Speaker 5: and then they shape you into who you.

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Speaker 3: Like.

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Speaker 5: It's just like so it's a lot, yeah, for sure,

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Speaker 5: so many thoughts about that. I mean I used to

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Speaker 5: even name my like Billy I had Roles and Royce,

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Speaker 5: you know, roy and Royce like the singer's muzoom. Your

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Speaker 5: name is my two packed rolls and Royce, like you know,

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Speaker 5: I try to be playful with it as well.

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Speaker 3: You try so many things to cope with that.

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Speaker 5: But a lot for you though, when it came to guys,

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Speaker 5: When it comes to guys, like how did this play

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Speaker 5: a role with your body image? So, like we've spoken

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Speaker 5: about from almost like a societal upbringing, childhood and like uh,

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Speaker 5: commune space. But when it came to relationships or like

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Speaker 5: the opposite sex or dating, how did that influence?

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Speaker 2: A huge role, a huge role. And I remember, like

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Speaker 2: you have to think in high school. Also you're wearing glasses, right,

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Speaker 2: so you're thinking, Okay, maybe you're not really gonna look

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Speaker 2: at my face, but if I have a banging body,

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Speaker 2: you're going to look at it. But no, not when

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Speaker 2: you don't have boobs, and not when you don't have

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Speaker 2: a nice statass. Like it just was like and then

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Speaker 2: lets not even go into colorism. Also when you have

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Speaker 2: the right skin tone, yellow bowl or whatever. So like

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Speaker 2: it was just always such it still is such a

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Speaker 2: big thing with me, like how a guy sees you?

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Speaker 2: And now that I'm married, it's also like how does

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Speaker 2: your partner I see you?

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Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 2: Like is this what's sexy is always comparing yourself to

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Speaker 2: other people and always so body image.

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Speaker 4: I've learned over the years to just accept myself for

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Speaker 4: who I am.

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Speaker 2: Yes, if I'm healthy and I'm happy, that's what counts.

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Speaker 2: But even having said that, with all the fashion trends

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Speaker 2: and everything, and I work in fashion, it's like you think, okay,

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Speaker 2: right now, the body shape that's in fashion is the

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Speaker 2: BBL the Kim Kardashian.

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Speaker 4: Body, you know, and it's like, uh no, I don't

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Speaker 4: look like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, or even if you were a crop top you

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Speaker 2: have to show the apps do the line between your

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Speaker 2: abs and things like that, and it's like.

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Speaker 4: It's a minefield.

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Speaker 3: It still is so.

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Speaker 5: Tired, like like how do you how live?

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Speaker 3: Like you're so right?

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Speaker 5: Like it's for me, I think a big part of

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Speaker 5: my my body image that that influenced me when it

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Speaker 5: came to relationships with the issue of colorism. You know,

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Speaker 5: I've always been darker skinned, even around other family or

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Speaker 5: so it was kind.

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Speaker 3: Of like they're like guys in check for you like that, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, especially coming from the environment we came from. I've

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Speaker 5: always said there's a hierarchy of like beauty and black community.

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Speaker 3: The closer to bear, the pretty you are.

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Speaker 5: Then, obviously, as we started seeing the likes of Lupitao,

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Speaker 5: you know, firstly alect Work was there, but like you

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Speaker 5: were not checking for a girl with alec work skin

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Speaker 5: tone at the same.

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Speaker 3: Time, and then you're still like it still doesn't fall

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Speaker 3: it's not me.

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Speaker 5: So there's there's a lot there's supermodels there Hollywood, it's different, right,

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Speaker 5: So I definitely played a part, you know, insecurities, you know.

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Speaker 5: I we even have a story like when you're on

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Speaker 5: holiday once together and there was a guy and I

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Speaker 5: was like, oh, like he was really, you know, attractive,

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Speaker 5: and I was like yeah, but he would never look

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Speaker 5: at me. And I remember a man that was pretty

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Speaker 5: much almost slapping me on the head like girl, like,

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Speaker 5: come to yourself.

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Speaker 3: And to be fair, he was attracted to me.

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Speaker 5: But it's like that thing where you you don't look

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Speaker 5: like what you assume people think or what you think

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Speaker 5: people would want. And I remember, it's taken me a

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Speaker 5: long time to believe that I can be attractive, that

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Speaker 5: I am attractive, you know.

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Speaker 3: So hey, hey hey Mine Fielding, Mine Fielding.

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Speaker 4: It sucks.

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Speaker 2: It's so interesting that you brought up that memory of

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Speaker 2: that guy, because do you think the way you see

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Speaker 2: yourself now is in touch with how you really actually are?

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Speaker 4: And do you think it's too hard on yourself?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 5: I think I am too hard on myself. I think

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Speaker 5: I do said a lot of expectations on myself. I'm

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Speaker 5: becoming kinder to myself. Like the thing the past three

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Speaker 5: year is the sort of mantra I'm trying to live

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Speaker 5: out is be kinder to yourself.

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Speaker 3: Like I've been really harsh to.

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Speaker 5: Myself for a long time, so it's going to take

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Speaker 5: a while for me to be more loving and kind

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Speaker 5: of to myself.

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Speaker 3: I think, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: For me, I'm like almost the opposite of you now.

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Speaker 2: I'm all public but too confident.

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Speaker 4: I think because like also, it's almost.

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Speaker 2: Like that, you know when you the typical nineties movie

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Speaker 2: when the girl who wore glasses the.

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Speaker 4: Geek comes into the overnight.

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Speaker 2: I think for me, I did a lot of things

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Speaker 2: that probably I did. Start like what you mentioned before,

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Speaker 2: I started dressing well for my shape. I started knowing

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Speaker 2: more and more about fashion and style. I know, I

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Speaker 2: ditched my glasses, like all these things where like slowly

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Speaker 2: and surely I started knowing how to do my hair,

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Speaker 2: access to stuff as well.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you know, men cap.

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Speaker 4: All these things.

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Speaker 2: So I think when I'm put on and I have

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Speaker 2: everything on, it's like an armor, you are, yeah, I

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Speaker 2: feel yeah. Then I'm like, yeah, yeah, I know this works.

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Speaker 2: I know the person I put the armor on. And

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Speaker 2: now with the world we live in where it's like

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Speaker 2: everyone pretty much has an armor on it.

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Speaker 4: Never really shows you the true you.

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Speaker 2: It works, but obviously now internally I'm trying to really

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Speaker 2: do the work, Like, even without this stuff, even without

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Speaker 2: the long weeds and the long nails and all the stuff,

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Speaker 2: all life still feel cute. And I think that's where

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Speaker 2: I'm at in my journey, where I'm like, I want

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Speaker 2: to learn how to really love me, because if I

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Speaker 2: see myself as a version of myself.

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Speaker 4: Then you're not really yourself.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, even with my journey with natural hair, it's still

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Speaker 2: because deep down in my mind, I can think when

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Speaker 2: I'm a you know, that's all I can your hair

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Speaker 2: doesn't look good enough to walk.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's but it's beautiful.

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Speaker 5: And I love that you are doing that work of

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Speaker 5: really like dissecting in the workings of you. And I

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Speaker 5: think it's an ongoing They say it's an ongoing journey,

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Speaker 5: and like you you always be kind of learning that

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Speaker 5: about yourself. But I think it's so important. I think, yeah,

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Speaker 5: we are almost at opposite ends of the journey.

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Speaker 3: I think mine is more stepping into be like.

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Speaker 5: Yeah you are beautiful, Yeah you're and being okay with

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Speaker 5: showing that and okay accentuating that and okay looking at

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Speaker 5: I don't know why. Somewhere in my head.

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Speaker 3: It was like I have to be apologetic of how

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Speaker 3: I look, how I feel, you know, like you know, yes, And.

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Speaker 5: Firstly, this is what I always say about beauty to

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Speaker 5: begin with. You can't get a prize for beauty because

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Speaker 5: you did not make yourself like beautiful. Of course you

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Speaker 5: can accentuate, of course, there's ways, of course, but at

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Speaker 5: the core of it, it's genetics. Thank you mom, dad

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Speaker 5: for giving me like the looks I have.

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Speaker 3: But it's okay to feel good about yourself no matter

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Speaker 3: what the standard.

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Speaker 5: Of beauty is out there, It's okay. So I am

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Speaker 5: learning to be like you're a beautiful person, Like it's

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Speaker 5: okay to let you out of beauty shine as well,

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Speaker 5: Like it doesn't have to always be like my internal

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Speaker 5: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: So it's so crazy, right, like, man.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm all dealing with it.

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Speaker 2: Like how do you feel though about the standards of

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Speaker 2: beauty at the moment? My colorism, I think is still there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 5: And there's also a distinction as you mentioned access, So

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Speaker 5: I think growing up you know, in Zim and being

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Speaker 5: in an African context, like access is limited, so you know,

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Speaker 5: your money speaks about what kind of makeup you have,

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Speaker 5: what kind of hair, Like I've been very honest about

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Speaker 5: not necessarily being someone who rocks and hair because I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 5: I cannot afford to fund this lifestyle, like it's too much.

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Speaker 5: And then also I'm too particular, so I would want

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Speaker 5: it to look exceptionally.

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Speaker 4: You'd want the best.

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Speaker 3: Ain't gonna work.

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Speaker 5: And then there's the distinction like you know, African Americans

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Speaker 5: and then Africans like Black Africans, like distinction there access

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Speaker 5: to products, access to fashion and style, and then so

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Speaker 5: of course colorism is a problem.

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Speaker 3: But I think in terms of standards of.

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Speaker 5: Beauty I think someone who really shifted it for me

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Speaker 5: was so large when she came with, you know, her

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Speaker 5: natural hair and the African print just from an natural

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Speaker 5: hair and kind of like doing being African. She shifted

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Speaker 5: that and you see a lot more. So I do

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Speaker 5: believe there is more representation, but I think we've got

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Speaker 5: a long, long, long still.

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Speaker 2: I do think if you're a teenager right now, it's

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Speaker 2: much better than when we were teenagers, Like even even

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Speaker 2: just the rise of Afro beats, that then means seeing

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Speaker 2: more like Tiwa Savages of the World, you know, and

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Speaker 2: she's not that girl you wouldn't want to, you know,

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Speaker 2: date or you know, like sometimes you'd see that like

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Speaker 2: you mentioned a leg work before, but it's like supermodel

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Speaker 2: are but I'm not.

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Speaker 4: But dudes weren't attracted.

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Speaker 2: But then you get like girls like Tiwa Yeami led

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Speaker 2: Day coming with the proper curves, the proper then you're

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Speaker 2: like but then also in that and sometimes like I

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Speaker 2: don't know all the curves so exactly like.

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Speaker 5: That flap, the nice.

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Speaker 3: Booty, but what yeah, the makeup.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of pressure, you know.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so if you are within Africa, you're so blessed

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Speaker 5: with access to hair. Yeah, yes, like maybe not weeds though,

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Speaker 5: yeah no, not weaves, but like the braid, but the

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Speaker 5: braid game has stepped up, like like yeah, braids and

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Speaker 5: like beads inc. Notless braids, beads and then yeah, like

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Speaker 5: all I'm saying, at least there's that, but yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 5: I think we've got a long way. I think we

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Speaker 5: are seeing more shows, but and I think that's why

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00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 5: the Born network exists too. It's like we see more shows,

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Speaker 5: but definitely get more to like the Black American experience,

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Speaker 5: and now we're seeing more of South Africa pushing through,

340
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Speaker 5: Nigeria pushing through, but universally we.

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Speaker 3: Haven't pushed through all the way yet.

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Speaker 2: If that makes yeah, yeah too to cover all the

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Speaker 2: nuances of being black, because yeah, I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: be like an American girl. And now we're also occupying

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Speaker 2: a weird space because we're Zimbabwean, but then we're entire

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Speaker 2: sporta so we're not typically dressing like Zimbabweans either, but

347
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Speaker 2: we're not typically dressing like Australians or or wherever you are,

348
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 2: so you're kind of stuck in this weird limbo as well. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's a minefield.

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Speaker 4: We keep saying this beauty is you, it's a minefield.

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Speaker 3: It's a minefield, honestly.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 5: How do you feel though about the way you look?

355
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,640
Speaker 5: By the way you look bombed? I told you when

356
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 5: we hopped on this hole that Jesus.

357
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Speaker 3: I love that look.

358
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Speaker 5: I don't know why it's giving me like London vibes.

359
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 2: Like you know, I don't don't know why because I'm

360
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:17,200
Speaker 2: just called and I ring a beanie, but I think

361
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:17,920
Speaker 2: it's really hot.

362
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 5: I've seen Londoners dressed like that at least what I

363
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 5: think or UK. Sorry, please don't come for me for

364
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,120
Speaker 5: your from things.

365
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,280
Speaker 4: I know they're gonna come here.

366
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Speaker 5: That's not how we dress, like forgive me. But like

367
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 5: it's kind of like that street they really do street where.

368
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:35,399
Speaker 4: Very street in London they do.

369
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Speaker 3: They know how like they kill it like kind.

370
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Speaker 4: Of I think more than America.

371
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,800
Speaker 5: Like, so pudos to you, but so yeah, how do

372
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,120
Speaker 5: you feel about the way you look?

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Speaker 4: Ish girl?

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of things I feel about the way.

375
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Speaker 2: Sometimes I wake up in my nose I'm like, oh

376
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 2: my gosh, I.

377
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,639
Speaker 4: Need to like pinch it.

378
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,400
Speaker 2: Sometimes, like there's a lot I wish i'd bigger boobs.

379
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,520
Speaker 2: Like sometimes I'm like, oh maybe if if I ever

380
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 2: have kids, I will after.

381
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,680
Speaker 4: Everything's done, I'm gonna get a book job.

382
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:09,520
Speaker 2: Like so clearly I got hang ups, like there's stuff

383
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,000
Speaker 2: I just But what I do feel like my body

384
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 2: right now is I love how strong I am. Like

385
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:20,120
Speaker 2: I'm really being back into fitness and into the gym

386
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:26,000
Speaker 2: and being healthy like just as a baseline, yes, and

387
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,120
Speaker 2: then yeah, like as I.

388
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Speaker 4: Said before, just finding ways to dress and to dress

389
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Speaker 4: for me.

390
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 2: But I also feel like I occupy a place that

391
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 2: gives yourself confidence, but in a false way because like

392
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,240
Speaker 2: I'm usually the only black person in the room in Australia,

393
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 2: so everybody's like, oh, whatever I do with my hair,

394
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:50,159
Speaker 2: oh Amanda, amazing, Oh it looks so good, you know,

395
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 2: typical white ally ship, you know, like everything I do.

396
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 2: If I wear something with the print, oh my god, there's.

397
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 3: A good color on you.

398
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 2: So sometimes it like pumps you up, which is good.

399
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 4: But then when I'm in a room full of black people,

400
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 4: I don't.

401
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 2: Know, like when I see it, especially if I'm in

402
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 2: Africa from zoom, then you fall onder that quirky Oh

403
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 2: she's transporters.

404
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,439
Speaker 4: She's trying to show us, you know.

405
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,800
Speaker 2: But then it's like, no, but this is where I

406
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,600
Speaker 2: now dress Australian, I guess. So it's weird because I

407
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 2: feel confident about the way I look.

408
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 4: But in certain spaces, yes, I'm with you, So not

409
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 4: in every single space. Some space I'm like, yeah, I

410
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 4: don't know anything.

411
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, Because You've a huge chunk of your adult

412
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:45,240
Speaker 5: life has been in Australia, so there's this definite distinction,

413
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 5: whereas I've had more of like living in essays zom

414
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 5: like as an adult. So I'm more aware, but how

415
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 5: I feel about how I look currently, I feel like

416
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 5: I need to get my summer body, and we're in summer.

417
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 5: This gonna work, so I always have this, you know,

418
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 5: I need even more healthy. I think it was the

419
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,600
Speaker 5: end of like school year in terms of work, so

420
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,360
Speaker 5: obviously you're not I wasn't being as.

421
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 3: Focused.

422
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 5: But I'm still pleased with myself. I've still still you know,

423
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 5: kind of kept fit. I'm happy with my body. I

424
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,679
Speaker 5: feel like I've grown abum.

425
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 3: Now I should be like you have a surfboard, ass

426
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 3: like what games? What game?

427
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,359
Speaker 5: So it's come in and like my waist it's just

428
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,920
Speaker 5: it's rolls and roys are no longer rolls and roys,

429
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 5: but rolls. It's just not leaving me. That's always been

430
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:48,879
Speaker 5: like my my my thing. Like struggle Areas is my footba.

431
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 5: It's not really a footba, it's really just rolls. And

432
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 5: but yeah, definitely still learning to look at myself in

433
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 5: the and being like, oh, I like you look good today,

434
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,359
Speaker 5: or like, you know, having to have those conversations with

435
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 5: myself in terms of how I dress. I think I've

436
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,400
Speaker 5: for the most part just always done my own thing.

437
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,199
Speaker 3: Even when I lived in essay. People are like, oh,

438
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 3: you're different. I was like, yeah, always been like you

439
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 3: know what I mean, So that's no longer.

440
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 5: I think for me, I just was like, why would

441
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,679
Speaker 5: I want to look like everybody else? Like you know,

442
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,760
Speaker 5: and my sister says this about me. She's like, you're

443
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,600
Speaker 5: allele in that you like attention, but maybe not in

444
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 5: the obvious way where.

445
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 3: You're like, listen to me, I'm the lele.

446
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 5: It's more like how you dress, how you make statement,

447
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 5: by how you present yourself.

448
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, that's that's fair. So yeah, I.

449
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 5: Think, as you say, it's an ongoing having to remind

450
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 5: myself or have and you definitely have weak moments you're like,

451
00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, like you know, I'm never going to

452
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 5: be this some too chubby or this is not right

453
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,720
Speaker 5: or you know. I had a time when I was

454
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 5: like I'm going to cut off my locks, like you know,

455
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 5: Like you just have different moments and then you have

456
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 5: good days like we're like, oh my gosh, my locks

457
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,160
Speaker 5: have grown so much. Oh my gosh, like they look

458
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 5: so healthy because also, donk hair is a big thing,

459
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,800
Speaker 5: and when you make a big change with hair, like

460
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 5: locks are quote unquote permanent.

461
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 3: It's like, did I make the right decision? Like there's

462
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 3: all that.

463
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:38,119
Speaker 5: Yeah, so yeah, no shame, I'm doing that's good.

464
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 4: That's good.

465
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 2: What thoughts of beliefs do you feel about your body

466
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:47,719
Speaker 2: compared to the way your partner or partners see you?

467
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 3: Cool?

468
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 5: I think the skinny I think I still have this

469
00:24:55,640 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 5: thing of like I need to be sin thing to

470
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 5: be like okay, fully attractive and where my partner says

471
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 5: I love your body like it's great, and then he'll

472
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 5: be like, yeah, it's going to be great for having babies,

473
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:18,400
Speaker 5: like carrying because I have hips, you know, cold bearing

474
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 5: hims are like bruh, I can't just be ready to

475
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 5: carry children.

476
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,200
Speaker 3: That just you know what I mean?

477
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,879
Speaker 5: But I get, yeah, I get what he's saying.

478
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:28,480
Speaker 3: You know.

479
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 5: Also being with someone who's not African, it's a bit

480
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 5: intimidating because you're like, it's a different beauty to what

481
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 5: is typical. Right, So then you're like, is it just

482
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 5: is he going to get tired of it? Like will

483
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:50,399
Speaker 5: you be like like I want the skinny like body again.

484
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 5: But obviously, you know, my partner reassures me like, you know,

485
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,919
Speaker 5: you're beautiful, You're so attracted like that all the times,

486
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 5: or at some point you have to start believing it

487
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:05,600
Speaker 5: because unless he's just trying to be broken record, but I.

488
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 3: Do believe he is sincere. I would like to believe sincere.

489
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:14,240
Speaker 5: So that definitely helps, like, you know, actually trying to

490
00:26:14,359 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 5: lean in and believe that and be like, you know,

491
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,199
Speaker 5: someone wouldn't be with you or say that you are

492
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 5: attractive if they didn't find you attract like you know, yeah,

493
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 5: you know, we're also past that age of like lying

494
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 5: taking that, so I think, yeah, and how do you

495
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 5: think being married like this is now even within a

496
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 5: marriage context, Like how have your belief contest from me?

497
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 2: It's been quite lid because like when I was much skinnier,

498
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 2: like when I first moved to Australia, obviously I was

499
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 2: I always want to do the opposite of you.

500
00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,680
Speaker 4: I want to be curvy.

501
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 2: Yes, I wanted the curves because you know, when you're

502
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 2: so skinny, it's like you want to do tell something,

503
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 2: to hold on to, something to to So for me

504
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: it was a thing. But then when I came over

505
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 2: to a Western society, skinny was in so everyone was like, oh,

506
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,239
Speaker 2: you got a hot body or whatever, and I'm like,

507
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 2: what really because where I've come from, this has not

508
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 2: been getting me any guys. Yeah, So it was kind

509
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,040
Speaker 2: of a weird space to occupy because then all of

510
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: a sudden I had to catch up talk as the

511
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:31,120
Speaker 2: people saw me, and obviously that includes partners. And then

512
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: now that I've gained a bit more weight, it's always

513
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 2: like almost like the opposite, like like, oh, I want

514
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 2: to go back to that, But I was young then

515
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 2: obviously I probably never looked back to the size I was.

516
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 4: Really I think I was like, it's not fifteen maybe

517
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:47,640
Speaker 4: even twenty kilos.

518
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 2: Lighter, and I am now, so obviously then that comes

519
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 2: with cellulite and a bit more like my thighs rub

520
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 2: like all these new sensations for me in the midst

521
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 2: of you know, also find meeting my husband and also

522
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: trying to be sexy and also then trying to maintain.

523
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 2: So it's like sometimes it's a minefield because it feels

524
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: like the society I live in doesn't accept me being

525
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,920
Speaker 2: a bit bigger, you know, they want you to be skinned,

526
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 2: they want the Western look. But then actually, because of

527
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 2: the rise of Kim Kardashian and that whole look.

528
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 3: As well, it's like kind of balancing.

529
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like, oh, okay, maybe you can have some curves,

530
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 2: but then the curves aren't realistic, like you can't have

531
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 2: a big ass and skinny diies, you know. So it's

532
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 2: like I'm always battling that where it's like, yeah, but

533
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: you see that on the social media whatever, but that's

534
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 2: not that's not real reality.

535
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 3: I saw a meme about that.

536
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 5: It was like me at the gym trying to get

537
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 5: my dream body when everyone else in LA is going

538
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 5: for like surgery and life.

539
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, like the president but lift, yeah, yeah, come on.

540
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 2: So, like in a marriage, obviously you're also conscious that

541
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 2: you will probably be or you, unless you're in an

542
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 2: open marriage, you're gonna.

543
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 4: Be the only person a person is getting right.

544
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 2: So that's also a bit of a certain pressure because

545
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 2: then it's like I always got to be the sex sexy,

546
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 2: or do I got to be like you know, so

547
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: it's yeah, I'm still navigating it.

548
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 4: You just go with the flow.

549
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 5: You know.

550
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: Sometimes you do set aside, like I'm trying to be

551
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 2: sexy here, I'm going to buy lingerie.

552
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 4: And look good for you.

553
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,160
Speaker 2: And sometimes you just half in the mirror and you're

554
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 2: counting your stretch marks. And you're like, there's good like

555
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 2: you know. So it's like a mixture of all of that.

556
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 2: But what I do appreciate is being or finding I've

557
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 2: been lucky that I've been with good men when it

558
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 2: comes to bodying, Like no one who's you know, being

559
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:57,719
Speaker 2: verbally abusive.

560
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 4: Or being in my head about how I'm not. All

561
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 4: of the guys I've.

562
00:30:01,720 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: Dated or been intimate with I have always appreciated me,

563
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:10,239
Speaker 2: so I think that's also helped me appreciate me. But

564
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 2: I've also seen situations where guys can also put a

565
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 2: certain pressure on girls, like, oh, you know the one

566
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 2: guy who said to a friend of mine, you're not

567
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,719
Speaker 2: allowed to change your dress side once you start dating.

568
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 2: You know, that was one of his deal breakers because

569
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 2: you don't want like He's like, I typically see girls

570
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 2: gaining weight when they're in there, when they're happy, you know,

571
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 2: in a relationship. So it's like it's a lot because

572
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 2: I never had that experience. So I'm pretty grateful and

573
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 2: my husband supportive, and now he knows I'm obviously very

574
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 2: into like in the gym and taking care of myself.

575
00:30:43,080 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's like he knows the effort I put

576
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 2: into myself, so it helps.

577
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful having a partner who like appreciates

578
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 5: and you know, kind of supports.

579
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 3: Your journey as not in your journey, but like I

580
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 3: don't know how to explain it, like not.

581
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: Like yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, is anything special that

582
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 2: you do, like some tips and tricks or to make

583
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 2: yourself feel.

584
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 4: Good or look good?

585
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 5: I think the looking yourself in the mirror, like something

586
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 5: like looking yourself in the mirror. I think that's something

587
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 5: I'm still really getting into it, like when you're getting

588
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 5: dressed or like just got out of the shower. It's

589
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 5: kind of like, oh, I like that, like my smile

590
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 5: or like what's you know, appreciating that about myself. Definitely,

591
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 5: I think clothes are a great way to feel like

592
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 5: let nobody lie to you that you know, being aware

593
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 5: of how you dress is a sort of like fickle thing,

594
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:58,719
Speaker 5: I think, really vain. It's a very powerful tool, Like

595
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 5: why do you think the whole idea of power.

596
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 3: Suitors in play?

597
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 5: Because it makes you feel a way and so don't underestimate.

598
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 5: So it's definitely clothes again, knowing what works from my

599
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 5: body and accentuating that and not being afraid you know

600
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 5: sometimes it's like like oh, I'll say that.

601
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 3: Outfit for like some other day, not being afraid to

602
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 3: look good whenever, like don't be don't don't ration your.

603
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 5: Look good in looking good, it's okay. That definitely is

604
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,800
Speaker 5: that In terms of beauty, yeah, makeup, and the thing

605
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 5: is I'm not someone who does make up every day.

606
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 5: Like what I will do is my eyebrows, an eyeliner,

607
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 5: lip gloss, like that's typical.

608
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 3: And then like if you want to push through, come

609
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 3: through a.

610
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 5: Little more, then it's like make up, you know. But

611
00:32:56,160 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 5: I think it's those conversations with yourself definitely, Like fitness

612
00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 5: has always been a part of me. It's like and

613
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 5: I find now with my body even like when I

614
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 5: don't work out as consistently, my body is there for me.

615
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 5: I don't know how to explain it, like yeah, it

616
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 5: doesn't completely like go into a big sac like do

617
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 5: you know what I mean? So like developing that those

618
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 5: habitats helped me so my weight doesn't fluctuate like crazy,

619
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 5: Like you know, there's definitely a muscle memory. So I've

620
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:38,680
Speaker 5: always been a fan. I love running, Like love might

621
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 5: be a strong word. I like running.

622
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 3: It's always been a thing I've just drawn.

623
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 5: To, like that cardio music, like pushing through the pain

624
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 5: and then doing some I'm enjoying, like pilates type of

625
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 5: you know, fitness.

626
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 3: Or like strength or whatever. So those are things.

627
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 5: And then food like if you're not going to change

628
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 5: like your complete diet portioning, like how much you eat.

629
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 5: I'm a huge snacker, which I need to work on

630
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 5: right now.

631
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,280
Speaker 3: It's like I love.

632
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 5: I'm not big on like meals, like having huge meals,

633
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 5: but when it comes to snacking, that's that's my kryptonite.

634
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 3: That's not kryptonite.

635
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 5: So yeah, just different things like you just got to

636
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 5: work on.

637
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 3: And also looking at people who inspire you that you

638
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 3: like their bodies, that look different, that.

639
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,919
Speaker 5: Surround yourself with things that that make you feel good

640
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 5: as opposed to feel this. Then what do you do now?

641
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 2: I mean you've said an all girl like seriously, the

642
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 2: gym was a good one.

643
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 3: You're very good at the gym.

644
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:47,120
Speaker 5: You are like, if there's someone I know in this

645
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:51,879
Speaker 5: world who is consistent about life, it is amandom. They

646
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 5: gave a flash like you are one hundred percent. Like

647
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 5: I'm like, I wish I had that commitment. I do

648
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 5: not but to you.

649
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you.

650
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,000
Speaker 2: That was also because I love food to like you

651
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:08,440
Speaker 2: know how you said big and the big meals and

652
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 2: I had alcohol, so I don't choose. Like yeah, so

653
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 2: definitely all the things you said. Definitely learning how to dress.

654
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 2: I love the gen Z energy right now mum g

655
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:26,760
Speaker 2: nineties vibe. Yes, none of the skinny skinny jeans are out.

656
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, yes, my face has finally calm at the

657
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,920
Speaker 2: right time, because, yeah, like not being restricted in like

658
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 2: how you dress, I still look good.

659
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 4: You're wearing like oversize or you're wearing big.

660
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 3: Which was not too many sweats right now.

661
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 2: Exactly, which was not typical before COVID and not typical

662
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 2: certainly ten or five years ago.

663
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 3: You know.

664
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 2: So I'm really really appreciative of like knowing how to

665
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 2: My only thing is not being a slave to it.

666
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 2: So yeah, so like putting on makeup, putting on the weeds,

667
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,080
Speaker 2: or having like long box braids done or whatever.

668
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 4: But as long as.

669
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 2: I can also equally feel confident without it all, then

670
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:14,480
Speaker 2: I think we're a okay. Because if I feel like

671
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 2: I can't step out of the house without makeup on,

672
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 2: or if I have to get my nails done.

673
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 4: Back to back or I kin'd of my natural hair,

674
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 4: then we have a problem.

675
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 3: Yes, and right.

676
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:29,320
Speaker 2: Now I'm still you know, but I think body image.

677
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:33,399
Speaker 2: I mean, for those listeners who have kids, please let

678
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:37,120
Speaker 2: us know, because that's another big hurdle, you know that

679
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:41,239
Speaker 2: Rumby and I haven't experienced going through you know, motherhood

680
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,439
Speaker 2: and then the other side of that.

681
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,359
Speaker 4: So I feel like we need to pick up this

682
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,720
Speaker 4: episode a few.

683
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 2: Years from Yeah, yeah, and like really or even have

684
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 2: a guest on just to like really dissaic because you know,

685
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 2: we only can't touch the surface. There's so much when

686
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 2: it comes to women, and then so much pressure as

687
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,879
Speaker 2: well society. Every time I go home, they're like, ah,

688
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:06,520
Speaker 2: you're eating too much, but before a couple of years

689
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 2: ago I wasn't eating now so you can never win.

690
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's been interesting, No, it's been interesting. And it's

691
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 5: such a layered no penintended, but it's such a layered feel.

692
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:24,839
Speaker 5: And I think for women there's just an immense, mense

693
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:28,280
Speaker 5: amount of pressure put on us with regards to standards

694
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 5: of beauty and also acknowledge. One thing we need to acknowledge, bruh,

695
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 5: what we see other people have access and are doing.

696
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:39,399
Speaker 3: Things that we could never. We don't have that time.

697
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 3: Like I look at some people's beauty routines, I'm like,

698
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:43,959
Speaker 3: you go to work, like.

699
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, like change an hour to put your makeup on when.

700
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 3: Bru It's just unsustainable.

701
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 4: So being very aware of that, yeah, and it can

702
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 4: be very expensive.

703
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:58,920
Speaker 2: They had like a TikTok trend where people would typically

704
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 2: show you what they expend, like getting your nails done,

705
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,840
Speaker 2: get your hair done, get your eyebrows done, getting wax,

706
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 2: getting your.

707
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 4: And then you're like, damn, I feel like it's a

708
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 4: lot of money.

709
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, so.

710
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,680
Speaker 4: Sure, be mindful of that for sure.

711
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 5: But thank you Mada, thanksk you for being open and this.

712
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 5: I hope you know our listeners, the audience can relate

713
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 5: and like there's something to take away here, let us

714
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 5: know how you navigate it.

715
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 3: We just shared a bit of ours. So yeah, thank you,

716
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 3: am Thanks Romby.

717
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,240
Speaker 4: Lovely to see you as always.

718
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 5: As always, we'll see you on the next next episode.

719
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 3: Take care, my guys,