WEBVTT - Ask Uncut - Make A U Turn You Bad Girl

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<v Speaker 1>This episode was recorded on cameragle Land. Hi guys, and

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<v Speaker 1>welcome back to another episode of lifelone. Cut. I'm Laura,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Britney.

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<v Speaker 2>Why are you whispering?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm having a hard day and I'm trying to get

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<v Speaker 2>myself in the room.

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<v Speaker 1>I love that you're having a hard day.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me just check the time, ten o'clock, ten am,

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<v Speaker 2>ten am. What can we do to fix this predicament?

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<v Speaker 1>I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually that's a lie. I woke up in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of my bed, flanked by two children. One who has

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<v Speaker 1>a very specific way of sleeping. She wanted her douna

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<v Speaker 1>rolled up into a sausage that she could use it

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<v Speaker 1>as a pillow and would only sleep with a specific blanket,

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<v Speaker 1>but it had to be tucked in under her neck

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<v Speaker 1>and her toes had to also have it tucked in

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<v Speaker 1>under her and the other one just wanted to sleep

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<v Speaker 1>and fathom what you're talking. The other one wanted to

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<v Speaker 1>sleep on top of me. So I have had terrible

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<v Speaker 1>nights sleep.

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<v Speaker 3>I love that I don't need to ask who is

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<v Speaker 3>who I was the one who wanted the specific pillows.

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<v Speaker 1>With sausage mate. That kid, I know, I talk about

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<v Speaker 1>her almost every day, but she is just a wild

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<v Speaker 1>bit of gear. She's a unicorn and every day she

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<v Speaker 1>changes like there's no consistency at all.

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<v Speaker 2>Got to keep you on your toes always. It doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>help that. Then I got you a coffee and they

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<v Speaker 2>gave you the wrong coffee. They gave you skim milk,

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<v Speaker 2>and you never drink skim milk. So we couldn't even

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<v Speaker 2>bring you back to ground zero with the coffee.

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<v Speaker 1>And my fortune cookie that I got this morning said

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<v Speaker 1>that I was going to receive some energy, and I've

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<v Speaker 1>received one night.

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<v Speaker 2>I really froth this. We got fortune cookies because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>big on this kind of stuff. Fortune cookies on I do.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it. I love this stuff. I love like

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<v Speaker 2>going to fortune tellers. I love psychics. I love fortune cookies.

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<v Speaker 1>Pretty's vibe and unsubscribed this week fortune cookies.

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<v Speaker 2>So hang on, this is the funniest part. Let's all

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<v Speaker 2>just say what we got.

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<v Speaker 1>You got energy is coming your way and brace it

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<v Speaker 1>when it comes.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, thank God, waiting with.

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<v Speaker 1>Dated breath energy.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm waiting for your energy. Keisha.

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<v Speaker 4>Mine was something like happiness will always follow you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she was very felt pretty.

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<v Speaker 4>Much compliment a fortune much true?

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<v Speaker 1>You are like you are like sunshine personified nothing you said.

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<v Speaker 1>I was in such a bad mood and Keish got

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<v Speaker 1>into the car and I was like, so happy and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so angry.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything brings Kisha down. You're not even like the cheating boyfriend.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like, there was probably something going on in his

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<v Speaker 2>life and we'll work it up.

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<v Speaker 1>She was so nice.

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<v Speaker 2>I wish I was that nice, and I got big

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<v Speaker 2>decisions need to be made soon, which I was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>that is a big thing as well. I believe in that.

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<v Speaker 2>But then Keisha doesn't get how it works. Grace out

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<v Speaker 2>radio producer didn't like what hers was. So Keisha's like,

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<v Speaker 2>you can have mine.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, you can't just swap your fortune cookie,

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<v Speaker 1>like I told you.

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe that's how the happiness follows.

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<v Speaker 1>Me the nicest person. Yeah, she's just giving it away. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>looks something I wanted to share with you guys. You

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<v Speaker 1>might remember on last week's Ask gun Cut, I made

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<v Speaker 1>an admission. I admitted that I was very old when

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<v Speaker 1>I realized that chickens have sex. Okay, I just thought

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<v Speaker 1>I never thought that they had coitus. I thought that

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<v Speaker 1>a maze a rooster just fertilized the egg when it

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<v Speaker 1>was outside of the chicken. I don't know why I

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<v Speaker 1>thought that. I don't know how I thought that that happened.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe I hadn't actually given it a lot of thought,

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<v Speaker 1>but it is something that I discovered when I was

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<v Speaker 1>about twenty five, that chickens do. In fact, mate, I

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<v Speaker 1>am quite concerned about what is happening inside of your brain,

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<v Speaker 1>because not long before that, you also were shocked that

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<v Speaker 1>spiders had to have sex to have babies, like both

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<v Speaker 1>of you were.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm a bit confused if anyone ever had the sex

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<v Speaker 2>chat with you and you understand how things procreate.

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<v Speaker 1>I think maybe it's just because the eggs are not

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<v Speaker 1>inside the body, So I just assumed that maybe they

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<v Speaker 1>didn't have to what maybe because the eggs come outside,

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<v Speaker 1>they just sprayed something on them. I don't know. Skip school,

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<v Speaker 1>okay did.

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<v Speaker 2>You skip club? By all?

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<v Speaker 3>It can do immaculate conception, can't like see, don't see

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<v Speaker 3>horses fertilize outside.

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<v Speaker 2>They carry it as some they carry the eggs on

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<v Speaker 2>the outside. They carry it on the outside.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, Now there isn't a macon a nat Giopoka.

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<v Speaker 1>There has to be there has to be some sort

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<v Speaker 1>of animal that lays the eggs and then the male

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<v Speaker 1>animal just comes along and sprays them like it would

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<v Speaker 1>like a fertilized like Scott's grass feeder, like they just

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<v Speaker 1>pH and it's done. Well, Look, I'm not the only

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<v Speaker 1>person who believes this, and an.

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<v Speaker 2>Image of something like shooting ejaculation, of like fertilizing everything,

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<v Speaker 2>just shuning.

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<v Speaker 1>It out the message that I just received because you

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<v Speaker 1>think I'm an idiot, And I would like to just

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<v Speaker 1>say thank you so much to so many of you

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<v Speaker 1>who message to say that you also question this and

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<v Speaker 1>that this was also something you didn't know. I received

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<v Speaker 1>a message from a woman named doctor Nadia.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you think that we should name and shame her

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<v Speaker 2>on the I don't know if you should. Yes, she

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<v Speaker 2>wrote it to you personally, that's okaracter a.

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<v Speaker 4>Lot in the life Uncut DMS.

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<v Speaker 1>If we don't put a name in Nadia, we love you,

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<v Speaker 1>Nadia said so, just listening to Monday's ask gun Cut.

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<v Speaker 1>And I was today years old when I realized that

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<v Speaker 1>chickens need to mate. I thought the same thing, that

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<v Speaker 1>a male just fertilized the egg after it's laid. If

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<v Speaker 1>it makes you feel any better, I'm thirty six years old.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a dentist who just got a PhD in oral cancer.

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<v Speaker 1>So she's a genius and she didn't even know that

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<v Speaker 1>chickens fuck.

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<v Speaker 2>There were an alarming number of messages that came through

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<v Speaker 2>that were similar to that, an alarming number of people

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<v Speaker 2>which and I never called you an idiot, I laughed.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't call you an idiot, but there's an alarming

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<v Speaker 2>number of people that thought that this is how it happened,

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<v Speaker 2>which was really surprising to me.

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<v Speaker 1>You may not have said idiot, but you have said

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<v Speaker 1>several times I'm confused and concerned about what's going on

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<v Speaker 1>in your brain, which might correct, which might infer the former.

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<v Speaker 2>Take from that, what you will?

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<v Speaker 1>I do want to ask, I asked on the last episode,

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<v Speaker 1>But I think it's I think with something we have

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<v Speaker 1>to unpack. I want to know what is the thing

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<v Speaker 1>that you found out was not true or you just

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<v Speaker 1>believed it to be the way that it was, and

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<v Speaker 1>then you found out at like a ridiculously old age.

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<v Speaker 1>Another one for me is that I can't tell you

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<v Speaker 1>how old I was, but like, I just remember the

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<v Speaker 1>day that I had this revelation. I thought that all

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<v Speaker 1>planets were all at an equi distance, like stars, moons, planets,

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<v Speaker 1>everything was all at an equi distance from the Earth

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<v Speaker 1>like that there was no depth to space. They were

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<v Speaker 1>just all like almost like like stuck to her.

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<v Speaker 2>But I don't think that's that shocking.

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<v Speaker 1>You a piece of contact out in the sky.

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<v Speaker 2>When you think about growing up and you get like

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<v Speaker 2>posters of planets and stuff, That's how it's sort of presented.

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<v Speaker 2>It's almost presented as like there's Earth and then there's

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<v Speaker 2>the planets. And if you don't go into depth about

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<v Speaker 2>the planet system, which I'm sure you didn't as a child,

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<v Speaker 2>that's what it would look like.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I actually think I did, and I just

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<v Speaker 1>really didn't process that part of the learning.

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<v Speaker 2>You went to Catholic schools.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, yeah, Hey, I have a question for you guys.

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<v Speaker 3>Did you know that you can pick which voice you

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<v Speaker 3>have on Syria and you can pick from different accents

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<v Speaker 3>and genders.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I found out very recently that you actually can choose.

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<v Speaker 3>So I've gone through and I've picked one with a

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<v Speaker 3>nice because you know how I love an Irish and

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<v Speaker 3>a British accent. I've picked Oh god, yeah, I've picked

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<v Speaker 3>a man with an Irish accent to be my Siri guy.

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<v Speaker 3>At the same time that I learned that you can

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<v Speaker 3>change the Siri voice, I was actually scrolling on Instagram

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<v Speaker 3>and I came across these video by a guy named

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<v Speaker 3>Devin Braithwait.

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<v Speaker 2>And he had made this video to.

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<v Speaker 3>Reply to a comment that he had received on a

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<v Speaker 3>previous video, and the comment said, petition to make this

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<v Speaker 3>man my Alexa and GPS voice. And I just wanted

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<v Speaker 3>to bring it to you guys today and get your

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<v Speaker 3>immediate reactions. I want to know how you feel about

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<v Speaker 3>it and whether you would like to make this your

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<v Speaker 3>GPS voice.

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<v Speaker 5>Can't he gorgeous, I'm going to need you to take

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<v Speaker 5>a left of the next set of line. Here, gorgeous,

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<v Speaker 5>the speed limit has just been induced to sixty. It's

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<v Speaker 5>be a good girl and slow down for Mey, gorgeous,

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<v Speaker 5>you've been at back girl. You messed your exit. I'm

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<v Speaker 5>going to need you to make a U turn at

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<v Speaker 5>the next safest.

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<v Speaker 2>Opportunity through slow You've missed a.

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<v Speaker 5>Two hundred meters. You're going to take a ride down

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<v Speaker 5>Wilson Avenue. Hey, gorgeous, you are doing such a great job.

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<v Speaker 5>There are reports of a speed camera ahead, so just

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<v Speaker 5>be careful, drive safe. Hey, gorgeous, you ever reached your destination?

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<v Speaker 5>Thank you for writing with me.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you. I would one hundred percent have that, but

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<v Speaker 2>I would also one hundred percent miss my destination.

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<v Speaker 4>I deliberately just so that he could tell you that

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<v Speaker 4>you were a bad girl.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly, just so he's like, turn around, turn around, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>just like that turn.

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<v Speaker 1>Around, going around around, around about.

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<v Speaker 4>I've just stuck on the round.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know whether I.

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<v Speaker 1>Found that arousing or just funny. But then then again,

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<v Speaker 1>I also just find dirty talk funny. Usually I end

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<v Speaker 1>up laughing. That tries and I'm like, what does that say?

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<v Speaker 1>We're not gonna get to that.

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<v Speaker 2>Meanwhile, I'm still on the roundabout. That's hot. That was hot?

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<v Speaker 1>That was hot?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that a real option? I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean the guy's Instagram, he's got quite a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of followers. His name is Devin Braithwait, tell anyone who's interested.

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<v Speaker 3>I will link it in the show notes. Maybe it

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<v Speaker 3>will be your vibe for the week.

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<v Speaker 2>Can I get a visual? Yeah, he's hot? Oh do

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<v Speaker 2>you know? Sometimes you never know? Oh, it's hot. He's hot.

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<v Speaker 2>He's hot, have allaws?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, yeah, Okay, he's very good looking.

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<v Speaker 4>Let's get into our vibes of the week. Laura, what

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<v Speaker 4>are you vibing?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm recommending a Netflix movie that I watched over the weekend.

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<v Speaker 1>It's on the recommended list at the moment, so you

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<v Speaker 1>might have seen it, but I hadn't really thought anything

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<v Speaker 1>about it, and then as I clicked on it and

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<v Speaker 1>I got halfway through it, I was like, this movie

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<v Speaker 1>is amazing. So if you have some free time this weekend,

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<v Speaker 1>watch this. It is called The Six Triple Eight. It's

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<v Speaker 1>only just been released, and it's a movie that is

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<v Speaker 1>about World War Two and it's about the all black

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<v Speaker 1>female battalions, so the Women's Corp that came out of

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<v Speaker 1>the United States, the very first black women's corp to

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<v Speaker 1>be deployed overseas to fight in the war. The story

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<v Speaker 1>around this is absolutely remarkable and it follows one main

0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:52.400
<v Speaker 1>character lead. It talks about the mission that they were

0:09:53.000 --> 0:09:56.120
<v Speaker 1>designated within the war, and the mission itself is something

0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:58.240
<v Speaker 1>that they felt was very beneath them, and it was

0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:01.640
<v Speaker 1>to be able to redistribute the male. So during World

0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:04.679
<v Speaker 1>War Two, the male had been completely congested, and so

0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.920
<v Speaker 1>no soldiers were receiving letters from loved ones, and no

0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:10.840
<v Speaker 1>loved ones back home were receiving letters from soldiers. So

0:10:10.880 --> 0:10:14.800
<v Speaker 1>people going like years without knowing that their sons or

0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.160
<v Speaker 1>their husbands were alive or dead or anything.

0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:19.360
<v Speaker 2>No communications would just lead you to think the.

0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:22.960
<v Speaker 1>Worst horrific, right, But also in that think about the

0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:26.160
<v Speaker 1>morale for the soldiers who were never hearing from their family.

0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:28.640
<v Speaker 1>So there was this real mismatch in like the morale

0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:31.240
<v Speaker 1>being so low but them feeling as though it was

0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.040
<v Speaker 1>an insurmountable task to be able to deliver these millions

0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:37.920
<v Speaker 1>of letters. Now, there was a battalion of black American

0:10:37.960 --> 0:10:41.760
<v Speaker 1>women who were training in order to fight in the war,

0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:44.040
<v Speaker 1>but because of racism and the time, it was felt

0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.600
<v Speaker 1>that they were not going to be able to be successful,

0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:49.160
<v Speaker 1>and they were never deployed even though they were training.

0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:51.240
<v Speaker 1>And this was the mission that they were tasked with,

0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:52.800
<v Speaker 1>and the reason why they were tasked with it is

0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:56.280
<v Speaker 1>because it was seemingly impossible for them to complete. I

0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:57.880
<v Speaker 1>don't want to give it away, and I know that

0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:02.160
<v Speaker 1>talking about male during the war probably doesn't sound particularly exciting,

0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:06.000
<v Speaker 1>but it was just the most fascinating watch and there's

0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:09.320
<v Speaker 1>a really beautiful storyline that plays throughout it as well.

0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:13.079
<v Speaker 1>That's very heartbreaking, but it really kind of like gives

0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:16.040
<v Speaker 1>that emotional and personal connection to the story. And I

0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:20.040
<v Speaker 1>absolutely loved it. Like big recommendation Netflix, The six Triple Eight.

0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:22.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna watch it again this weekend with my mother

0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:24.520
<v Speaker 1>in law. So it is based on a real story.

0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:26.760
<v Speaker 1>It's based on a real story. It's based on real

0:11:26.760 --> 0:11:29.960
<v Speaker 1>women who were part of this battalion. They're also still

0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.800
<v Speaker 1>alive a lot of them, and so at the very end,

0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:34.760
<v Speaker 1>I think it's really cool that you've watched the story

0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:37.440
<v Speaker 1>about these women and then it tells you where they

0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:39.880
<v Speaker 1>are and what happened to them in their lives. You

0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:42.040
<v Speaker 1>see photos of them now with like Michelle Obama and

0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:45.400
<v Speaker 1>getting their recognition and the accolades that they never received

0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:47.839
<v Speaker 1>during the war but have received now as old women.

0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 3>That's a recommendation, Absolutely fantastic.

0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:53.200
<v Speaker 2>That's a good vibe. Thank you well. My vibe this

0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:55.520
<v Speaker 2>week is something that I've been talking to the girls

0:11:55.520 --> 0:11:58.079
<v Speaker 2>about a lot, and I have been begging them to

0:11:58.080 --> 0:11:59.560
<v Speaker 2>get on board, and I am going to make them

0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.080
<v Speaker 2>listen so that we can fully discuss this on the podcast,

0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:03.720
<v Speaker 2>like for me, this is what I want to talk

0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:06.920
<v Speaker 2>about for an entire episode. Bear with me. It's called

0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:10.040
<v Speaker 2>The Telepathy Tapes, and it is a podcast series. Now

0:12:10.280 --> 0:12:12.680
<v Speaker 2>it's not like a little left field podcast series. It

0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:14.840
<v Speaker 2>has been the number one podcast series in the world,

0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.079
<v Speaker 2>knocked Joe Rogan off the list for a little while.

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:19.640
<v Speaker 2>It's all everyone is sort of talking about. You might

0:12:19.679 --> 0:12:21.720
<v Speaker 2>have seen it if like me, you would have seen

0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.280
<v Speaker 2>it advertised to you on podcast, you know when it's

0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:27.000
<v Speaker 2>like this is number one trending. But I went past

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:28.199
<v Speaker 2>it a lot because I didn't even look at what

0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:30.439
<v Speaker 2>it was. I was like whatever, And then somebody recommended

0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:31.920
<v Speaker 2>it to me and they said I'd enjoy it, so

0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:36.160
<v Speaker 2>I listened and was absolutely hooked. Now it is about telepathy,

0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:43.040
<v Speaker 2>and it is about exploring communication in non speaking autistic children.

0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:46.920
<v Speaker 2>So it's specifically looking. It's an investative journalist and a neuroscientist,

0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:48.960
<v Speaker 2>and there's a couple of other doctors that run these

0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:52.600
<v Speaker 2>tests on autistic children that are non verbal, kids that

0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:54.840
<v Speaker 2>have never been able to communicate, kids that have been

0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.520
<v Speaker 2>pushed to the side in the schooling system because people

0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:00.360
<v Speaker 2>think they can't speak, people think they're not intelligent because

0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.160
<v Speaker 2>they can't speak. And it's all of these parents that

0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.400
<v Speaker 2>have come forward from all around the world, So this

0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:07.600
<v Speaker 2>is not one or two Like I've got goosebumps now,

0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:09.760
<v Speaker 2>I just needed all this theme. These parents are coming

0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:12.920
<v Speaker 2>forward saying my child can read my mind. I know

0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:16.040
<v Speaker 2>I sound crazy, but this is happening. I can prove it.

0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.360
<v Speaker 2>And all of a sudden, once one person spoke up,

0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:21.079
<v Speaker 2>all these families have said the same thing. Now there's

0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:24.160
<v Speaker 2>video footage of this. So they explore whether these kids

0:13:24.200 --> 0:13:28.480
<v Speaker 2>can actually communicate via the mind with their parents, and

0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:32.360
<v Speaker 2>it really makes you question everything you think you have

0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:35.040
<v Speaker 2>ever known. And I have a science degree. I really

0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:36.679
<v Speaker 2>need to front this because I know I sound crazy,

0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.480
<v Speaker 2>but there is proof that they are doing it and

0:13:39.520 --> 0:13:42.360
<v Speaker 2>you cannot challenge it. Like they have these independent testers

0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.960
<v Speaker 2>that are coming in that are holding cards up to

0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:47.120
<v Speaker 2>the parents behind the kids' backs. The kids are in

0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:50.240
<v Speaker 2>separate rooms, and because the kids are nonverbal, they have

0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.440
<v Speaker 2>machines that help them type, so they can touch on

0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.160
<v Speaker 2>the buttons and it comes up and it says it

0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:56.960
<v Speaker 2>out loud straight away. The parent will be shown a

0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:00.280
<v Speaker 2>random word, a random number. Sometimes it's a six digit

0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:04.680
<v Speaker 2>number from another room and immediately the parent thinks that

0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:07.280
<v Speaker 2>the child starts to type it and it is always

0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:11.480
<v Speaker 2>correct and you cannot explain it. You can't explain it.

0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 2>It is crazy. And then finally, when these kids are

0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:18.520
<v Speaker 2>given the chance to speak, they know multiple languages. Their

0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:21.280
<v Speaker 2>parents don't know how they know it, what they are consuming,

0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.880
<v Speaker 2>they see different spirits and stuff and the way that

0:14:23.920 --> 0:14:27.360
<v Speaker 2>they're talking. You need to listen to believe it. What

0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:30.880
<v Speaker 2>I love the most is it's really challenging your expectations

0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:32.720
<v Speaker 2>of what you think is possible in this world and

0:14:32.760 --> 0:14:35.200
<v Speaker 2>what we think we know purely because we've never given

0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:38.000
<v Speaker 2>them a chance. And it just made me open my

0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:40.960
<v Speaker 2>eyes and look at that world in a completely different way.

0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:43.120
<v Speaker 2>And this is what I said to Keisha that you know,

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.640
<v Speaker 2>Keisha's also has a science degree, and I said said

0:14:45.680 --> 0:14:47.560
<v Speaker 2>same thing to my sister. I said, you don't have

0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:51.080
<v Speaker 2>to believe it to appreciate it and to start thinking.

0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:54.560
<v Speaker 2>It's really thought provoking. So I really would love everyone

0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:56.200
<v Speaker 2>to listen. I want this to be going off in

0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.440
<v Speaker 2>the discussion group. I want to be doing a podcast

0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.359
<v Speaker 2>on it because it's so fast.

0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 3>I think that whole mentality around you know, what is

0:15:03.200 --> 0:15:06.080
<v Speaker 3>scientific or proven. It's an interesting one to dive into

0:15:06.160 --> 0:15:08.520
<v Speaker 3>because I actually come from a medical science background where

0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:10.080
<v Speaker 3>I worked in a research lab for a year and

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:11.800
<v Speaker 3>a half, and you know, we're kind of trained to

0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:14.200
<v Speaker 3>be like, if the evidence is there, the evidence is there.

0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:17.640
<v Speaker 3>But I also want to be open minded enough to go, well,

0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.120
<v Speaker 3>maybe we just haven't measured it yet, maybe we don't

0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:24.520
<v Speaker 3>have the ability to test it fairly, or you know

0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.080
<v Speaker 3>what I mean, Like gravity existed before Newton discovered it,

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:27.400
<v Speaker 3>is my.

0:15:27.360 --> 0:15:30.040
<v Speaker 2>Point, And that's the point they make in this. They say, I.

0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:32.480
<v Speaker 3>Never want to be like there's no evidence of that,

0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:35.280
<v Speaker 3>blah blah blah. What you're saying is rubbish, because the

0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:37.400
<v Speaker 3>truth is is that I don't know whether something will

0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:40.560
<v Speaker 3>come out in the future, and like I would initially

0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.520
<v Speaker 3>when you told me about this, I was like, I

0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.600
<v Speaker 3>don't know if telepathy is really my vibe.

0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:47.560
<v Speaker 4>That's just not what I'm going to be interested.

0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.520
<v Speaker 1>I think it was because the way the brit prefacer

0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:53.160
<v Speaker 1>originally was like I'm really into telepathy, now really into telepathy,

0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.040
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, what does that even mean? No

0:15:55.200 --> 0:15:58.240
<v Speaker 1>context about like what the actual podcast was about. So

0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:00.280
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I haven't listened to it yet, and I

0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:03.120
<v Speaker 1>feel like it's not necessarily something that I would normally

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:05.960
<v Speaker 1>gravitate to, but you've spoken about it so highly that

0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:07.160
<v Speaker 1>I absolute would give it a listen.

0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:09.240
<v Speaker 2>I think you really really enjoy it. And they are

0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.920
<v Speaker 2>making it because of the success. They're turning it into

0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:14.000
<v Speaker 2>a documentary, so they asked so that it will be

0:16:14.160 --> 0:16:16.720
<v Speaker 2>very visual because when you're listening to it, it's.

0:16:16.560 --> 0:16:17.280
<v Speaker 1>Hard to believe.

0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:19.440
<v Speaker 2>But they actually have videos that they've put on YouTube

0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:22.120
<v Speaker 2>of their experiments to back it, and now they're like,

0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:23.880
<v Speaker 2>you know what, let's go hard, Let's do a doco.

0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.880
<v Speaker 2>It's going to be amazing. So Telepathy Tapes literally anywhere

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:28.320
<v Speaker 2>you can get your podcast is one of the biggest

0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:29.000
<v Speaker 2>pods in the world.

0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:33.080
<v Speaker 3>My vibe seems like highly processed sugar in comparison to

0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:36.040
<v Speaker 3>both of yours, but is for anyone who just wants

0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:39.600
<v Speaker 3>a bit of a really easy but fun TV show

0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 3>to consume. It is actually on ten Play, so it's free,

0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:46.640
<v Speaker 3>and it is the US version of Traitors season three.

0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:49.960
<v Speaker 3>So do you guys know about this show, The Traders, Yes,

0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:51.400
<v Speaker 3>we have an Aussie version.

0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:54.240
<v Speaker 3>It's kind of a mix between reality TV with like

0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:57.560
<v Speaker 3>a psychological competition. So the way that the whole thing

0:16:57.640 --> 0:16:59.680
<v Speaker 3>works is that they get twenty people, they send them

0:16:59.720 --> 0:17:03.560
<v Speaker 3>to castle in the Scottish Highlands and they are designated

0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.280
<v Speaker 3>as to whether they are a traitor or a faithful

0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:08.520
<v Speaker 3>and there's a lot more faithful than what there are traders.

0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:11.919
<v Speaker 3>The whole concept is that the faithfuls are kind of

0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.600
<v Speaker 3>supposed to sniff out and discover who the traders are.

0:17:15.119 --> 0:17:18.080
<v Speaker 4>So in each episode, the traders will.

0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:22.000
<v Speaker 3>Kill someone and then also everyone will sit around in

0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:24.920
<v Speaker 3>a boardroom and they will discuss and they will openly

0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:26.560
<v Speaker 3>vote in front of each other for who.

0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:31.360
<v Speaker 1>In Australia though did Yeah, it was like a real oh.

0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:32.600
<v Speaker 2>They brought it back a few years later and it

0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:33.200
<v Speaker 2>flopped again.

0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.399
<v Speaker 3>Interesting, it's massive in the UK, but this version, and

0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:38.320
<v Speaker 3>I think the reason that it's kind of got me

0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.600
<v Speaker 3>into a different level because I have seen the UK

0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:42.160
<v Speaker 3>version where there's just like normies.

0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:44.200
<v Speaker 4>This version had.

0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 3>Me hooked because the host is Alan Cumming, you know,

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:50.080
<v Speaker 3>the Scottish actor and producer. He's in like Spike Kids, Burlesque,

0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:51.959
<v Speaker 3>The Good Wife. You would know him if you saw him,

0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:54.399
<v Speaker 3>is that type. He hosts it. But then some of

0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:57.520
<v Speaker 3>the cast are people like you know vander pump Rules,

0:17:57.520 --> 0:17:59.960
<v Speaker 3>Tom Sandevil, the guy who was in the cheating scandal.

0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:03.640
<v Speaker 3>They've got Durinda Medley from Real Housewives of New York.

0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:07.400
<v Speaker 3>They've got Kroshelle from Selling Sunset G Flip's wife. And

0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.200
<v Speaker 3>there's like Survivor players, there's Big Brother players, So they're

0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 3>people who are actually known.

0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:14.200
<v Speaker 4>If you're into reality.

0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:15.399
<v Speaker 2>TV, it's like you're still a version.

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:17.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, which I think just gives you a bit

0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:19.560
<v Speaker 3>of an extra layer of like, I know what that

0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:22.880
<v Speaker 3>person's like. For example, Boston rob is one of the

0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:25.760
<v Speaker 3>most well known Survivor players from the American series. He

0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:28.400
<v Speaker 3>was on like five seasons of Survivor. He is known

0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.800
<v Speaker 3>to be so cunning, and so when he gets entered

0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.639
<v Speaker 3>into the house, people already know enough about him to

0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:36.840
<v Speaker 3>be like, Oh, I'm suspicious of you from the get go,

0:18:36.920 --> 0:18:37.880
<v Speaker 3>because that's who you are.

0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:40.520
<v Speaker 4>You're really manipulative. It's very, very fun.

0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:42.879
<v Speaker 3>The only thing that I am annoyed about is that

0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:44.800
<v Speaker 3>they only release one episode a week and it's on

0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:47.560
<v Speaker 3>like a Friday, Arbo for us, and so I have

0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:49.600
<v Speaker 3>to wait entire week for another episode.

0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:50.920
<v Speaker 4>I am currently.

0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:54.040
<v Speaker 3>Obsessed with it, And yeah, I just can't wait till Friday.

0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:55.400
<v Speaker 3>So if you just want a bit of a fun

0:18:55.560 --> 0:18:58.560
<v Speaker 3>escapism kind of TV show, really fun one to watch

0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:00.480
<v Speaker 3>with your partner as well while you're having dinner or

0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:01.440
<v Speaker 3>something cute.

0:19:01.480 --> 0:19:02.960
<v Speaker 4>It's the US version of Traders.

0:19:03.040 --> 0:19:05.720
<v Speaker 1>It is on tenplay for free. All right, Well let's

0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:06.560
<v Speaker 1>get into the questions.

0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:09.960
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So question number one. I was with my ex

0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:12.119
<v Speaker 2>for almost three years when we had a baby. The

0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:14.880
<v Speaker 2>baby was one and things in our relationship went downhill.

0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:17.560
<v Speaker 2>We called it off due to my partner needing some space.

0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:20.399
<v Speaker 2>Three weeks after breaking up, we had a chat that

0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:22.040
<v Speaker 2>we were going to start to see each other again,

0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:23.679
<v Speaker 2>and no one else like they're going to try and

0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:27.080
<v Speaker 2>work it out. I have now found a used condom

0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:31.639
<v Speaker 2>in the bin, but we don't use condoms. Some background,

0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:34.280
<v Speaker 2>he did get asked to be a sperm donor by

0:19:34.320 --> 0:19:37.400
<v Speaker 2>a friend, so he has said that he has masturbated

0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:41.399
<v Speaker 2>into the condom to save it. Am I wrong in

0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:47.400
<v Speaker 2>not believing why the condom was used? Personally? I don't

0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:50.000
<v Speaker 2>think anyone that's going to be a sperm donor is

0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:52.159
<v Speaker 2>masturbating to a condom put it in the bin, and

0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:53.600
<v Speaker 2>that's where they're saving the condom.

0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:58.320
<v Speaker 1>But also wouldn't you just masturbate into a jar, like

0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:00.199
<v Speaker 1>if they're coming to pick up the sperm, Because when

0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:02.280
<v Speaker 1>you think about it as a sperm donor if you're

0:20:02.280 --> 0:20:05.320
<v Speaker 1>going to do like the turkey basting situation, it has

0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:07.840
<v Speaker 1>to be done in real time, like you've got a

0:20:07.920 --> 0:20:10.199
<v Speaker 1>very short period of time to get the sperm into you.

0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:12.960
<v Speaker 1>The sperm has to be kept warm. There's quite a

0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:16.240
<v Speaker 1>few rules around it in order to keep the sperm viable.

0:20:16.680 --> 0:20:19.560
<v Speaker 1>So I would have thought best case scenario would have

0:20:19.640 --> 0:20:22.399
<v Speaker 1>been that he would have whoever it is that is

0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:25.160
<v Speaker 1>going to use the sperm, would be there in another room,

0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:26.840
<v Speaker 1>would get it from him and be able to like

0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:30.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, turkey base themselves straight away. Or alternatively, he

0:20:30.560 --> 0:20:32.239
<v Speaker 1>would be putting it in a jar. So if you're

0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:35.000
<v Speaker 1>putting it in a jar, then wouldn't you just masturbate

0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:37.159
<v Speaker 1>into the jar so that you're not cross contaminating it

0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:39.439
<v Speaker 1>by doing it into a No? I think that, I

0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:40.240
<v Speaker 1>think condom.

0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:42.000
<v Speaker 2>No. I think doing into the condom would be the

0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:44.160
<v Speaker 2>best thing anyway, I don't know the science. I think

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:47.920
<v Speaker 2>that's probably less contamination than a jar because it's sterile

0:20:47.920 --> 0:20:49.600
<v Speaker 2>and cleaning. You just opened it so the inside of

0:20:49.600 --> 0:20:51.359
<v Speaker 2>the condom will just be sperm. I don't That's not

0:20:51.400 --> 0:20:53.960
<v Speaker 2>the bit that shocks me. He's put it in the bin.

0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:56.640
<v Speaker 2>You put something in the bin when you throw it away.

0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:57.959
<v Speaker 2>You put something in the bin when you don't want

0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.560
<v Speaker 2>it anymore. That's what a bin is. You were trying

0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:03.720
<v Speaker 2>to save sperm for a donation, You're not putting the

0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:07.399
<v Speaker 2>condom in the bin. Yeah. To me, this is screaming

0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:10.920
<v Speaker 2>that he has probably most likely slept with someone else

0:21:11.280 --> 0:21:13.200
<v Speaker 2>and put the condom in the bin. And I don't

0:21:13.200 --> 0:21:15.440
<v Speaker 2>want to say that to hurt anyone's feelings, But if

0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:17.280
<v Speaker 2>my partner had told me that the condom was in

0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:19.040
<v Speaker 2>the bin with sperm in it because he was going

0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:19.760
<v Speaker 2>to be a sperm.

0:21:19.920 --> 0:21:22.160
<v Speaker 1>I'd call it bullshit.

0:21:22.520 --> 0:21:24.200
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm sorry, I'm like bullshit.

0:21:24.520 --> 0:21:27.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, all of the red flags are there, right, Like,

0:21:27.520 --> 0:21:30.240
<v Speaker 1>all the red flags are right there. But it's also

0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:33.160
<v Speaker 1>not definitive proof. He could have masturbated into a condom

0:21:33.240 --> 0:21:35.919
<v Speaker 1>because he didn't want to get junk anywhere, like you know,

0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:37.600
<v Speaker 1>he could like there are other reasons.

0:21:37.800 --> 0:21:40.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but he said it was for the sperm donation.

0:21:40.280 --> 0:21:43.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that just seems like such a fucking weird excuse,

0:21:43.080 --> 0:21:47.479
<v Speaker 1>doesn't it. I guess, like other questions, you might not

0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:49.520
<v Speaker 1>know it might be a bit dry, like like it's

0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:52.000
<v Speaker 1>not dry, it's in the condom. No, because because like

0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:56.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to think of a situation where it would

0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:01.399
<v Speaker 1>be feasible and smart to put the sperm into the condom,

0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:03.199
<v Speaker 1>And the reason for that is because it needs to

0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:06.639
<v Speaker 1>be put into a turkey baster, So a condom is

0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:09.200
<v Speaker 1>not a very easy way to then put a turkey

0:22:09.200 --> 0:22:12.640
<v Speaker 1>based into a flaccid condom and suck the liquid out.

0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:15.240
<v Speaker 1>You would be smarter to do it straight into a

0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:17.640
<v Speaker 1>sterile jar like you would put urine samples in at

0:22:17.640 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 1>the doctor's, Like that's what someone who's trying to do

0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:22.120
<v Speaker 1>this properly would do, and then you would turkey based

0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:24.639
<v Speaker 1>out of the jar and insert it into yourself. For me,

0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:27.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, it just is screaming too many red flags

0:22:27.640 --> 0:22:31.320
<v Speaker 1>to believe that what he's saying is true. I don't

0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:34.160
<v Speaker 1>want to say definitively like absolutely he's cheating on you,

0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:36.520
<v Speaker 1>because we could be wrong and then that would suck.

0:22:36.920 --> 0:22:39.520
<v Speaker 1>But my only other thing is is it's impossible for

0:22:39.600 --> 0:22:42.720
<v Speaker 1>us to know exactly However, if your intuition is telling

0:22:42.760 --> 0:22:45.880
<v Speaker 1>you that something is really fucking wrong. You're probably right,

0:22:46.000 --> 0:22:47.840
<v Speaker 1>like you just probably are. And if you guys have

0:22:47.920 --> 0:22:50.119
<v Speaker 1>been through a lot of other issues in the past,

0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:53.159
<v Speaker 1>you'd opened up your relationship, you've now closed your relationship

0:22:53.160 --> 0:22:58.119
<v Speaker 1>again and there's been uncertainty around things and you're still

0:22:58.160 --> 0:23:01.000
<v Speaker 1>feeling like this, then I would say there may be

0:23:01.040 --> 0:23:04.000
<v Speaker 1>a chance that, like, he's just not the most trustworthy person.

0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:06.479
<v Speaker 2>You could also, I mean, if you know the couple

0:23:06.760 --> 0:23:08.800
<v Speaker 2>that he was going to be donating for, Like I

0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:11.239
<v Speaker 2>don't know if you know them or not, chances are

0:23:11.280 --> 0:23:12.760
<v Speaker 2>you do. If you were with him and you've got

0:23:12.760 --> 0:23:15.080
<v Speaker 2>a baby with him, and that's a couple close enough

0:23:15.080 --> 0:23:17.320
<v Speaker 2>to him to have asked ask them, hey, you could

0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:20.240
<v Speaker 2>just ask them. You could just say, hey, did it work?

0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:23.760
<v Speaker 2>And I'd be like, I did what work? You could

0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:26.680
<v Speaker 2>suss it out that way. But you're so right, Laura.

0:23:26.840 --> 0:23:30.440
<v Speaker 2>Your intuition is everything, and you probably do know deep down,

0:23:30.840 --> 0:23:33.480
<v Speaker 2>But you have to also think. I don't want to

0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:35.520
<v Speaker 2>say he's cheating on you either, definitively, but I'm gonna

0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:38.560
<v Speaker 2>say this is what I think when someone is caught

0:23:38.920 --> 0:23:40.879
<v Speaker 2>in an act like that and you have sprung it

0:23:40.920 --> 0:23:42.600
<v Speaker 2>on them. Hey, I found the condom in the bin.

0:23:43.480 --> 0:23:47.360
<v Speaker 2>What's what's going on? They say, the first crazy thing

0:23:47.400 --> 0:23:48.720
<v Speaker 2>that has come to their head to get out of

0:23:48.720 --> 0:23:51.160
<v Speaker 2>a situation. That's what I think he's done. I think

0:23:51.200 --> 0:23:53.080
<v Speaker 2>he's been like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm doing that

0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:56.879
<v Speaker 2>sperm donation thing. Like it's in the bin. That's for me.

0:23:57.119 --> 0:24:00.439
<v Speaker 2>If it was tied up in a knot in a

0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:03.240
<v Speaker 2>safe place on the bench or like something obvious, or

0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:06.840
<v Speaker 2>in the fridge or wherever, that's what I mean. If

0:24:06.840 --> 0:24:09.239
<v Speaker 2>it was somewhere that was like very obvious, that was

0:24:09.440 --> 0:24:11.679
<v Speaker 2>what he was doing. Because I used condom goes in

0:24:11.760 --> 0:24:13.720
<v Speaker 2>the bin, So if you had it in a safe

0:24:14.000 --> 0:24:16.840
<v Speaker 2>jar on the bench, that's more believable. And you're like, yeah,

0:24:16.840 --> 0:24:18.439
<v Speaker 2>my sperm's in a jar on the bench because I'm

0:24:18.480 --> 0:24:20.600
<v Speaker 2>sperm donation because it's going to use condom in the bin.

0:24:21.240 --> 0:24:21.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:24.360
<v Speaker 1>Sorry. The only reason why I was like unsure about that, though,

0:24:24.440 --> 0:24:26.920
<v Speaker 1>is because if the person, so like from a technical perspective,

0:24:27.160 --> 0:24:30.000
<v Speaker 1>if the person he's donating sperm to was physically in

0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:32.200
<v Speaker 1>the house and he's done it into a condom, he

0:24:32.240 --> 0:24:34.720
<v Speaker 1>would hand her the condom and she would then have

0:24:34.760 --> 0:24:36.840
<v Speaker 1>to insert it into herself, so it wouldn't be a

0:24:36.880 --> 0:24:40.199
<v Speaker 1>tied up condom, it would be a used condom. But

0:24:40.320 --> 0:24:42.160
<v Speaker 1>the red flag I'm having is not about it being

0:24:42.160 --> 0:24:43.920
<v Speaker 1>tied up. It's not about it being in the bin.

0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:48.639
<v Speaker 1>It's the fact that had it been used for artificial insemination,

0:24:49.160 --> 0:24:51.359
<v Speaker 1>there would have been a turkey baster, there would have

0:24:51.359 --> 0:24:53.840
<v Speaker 1>been a syringe, there would have been other things in

0:24:53.880 --> 0:24:56.520
<v Speaker 1>that bin that would have shown you because no one's

0:24:56.560 --> 0:24:59.280
<v Speaker 1>getting a condom that's got sperm in it and just

0:24:59.560 --> 0:25:01.960
<v Speaker 1>flipping inside out and shoving it up the vagina with

0:25:01.960 --> 0:25:03.080
<v Speaker 1>a finger, do you know what I mean? Like that

0:25:03.200 --> 0:25:06.000
<v Speaker 1>is such an inefficient way of trying to inseminate yourself.

0:25:06.080 --> 0:25:08.480
<v Speaker 1>So for me, that's the red flags, not the fact

0:25:08.520 --> 0:25:09.040
<v Speaker 1>that it's in the bin.

0:25:09.160 --> 0:25:11.239
<v Speaker 2>There's actually another red flag we haven't even touched on.

0:25:11.280 --> 0:25:13.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh God, has he just created a baby without talking

0:25:13.800 --> 0:25:15.840
<v Speaker 2>to you about it? How did we not even think

0:25:15.880 --> 0:25:17.880
<v Speaker 2>of that? If he has said, yeah, I just gave

0:25:17.880 --> 0:25:20.720
<v Speaker 2>my sperm to somebody else, he's the father of your child,

0:25:20.800 --> 0:25:23.960
<v Speaker 2>and you're back together, that is also the discussion. So

0:25:24.000 --> 0:25:26.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm calling bullshit on it. No one is going out

0:25:26.640 --> 0:25:30.000
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship donating their sperm to other people without

0:25:30.000 --> 0:25:32.720
<v Speaker 2>having a conversation. Yeah, so I agree.

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:35.439
<v Speaker 1>I completely agree. Look, things are not looking good is

0:25:35.480 --> 0:25:38.080
<v Speaker 1>what we might conclude with this one. I do just

0:25:38.119 --> 0:25:40.720
<v Speaker 1>come back to that, if your intuition's telling you something's wrong,

0:25:40.760 --> 0:25:41.560
<v Speaker 1>it's probably wrong.

0:25:41.840 --> 0:25:44.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. And also I'm sorry because that sucks. I realize

0:25:44.000 --> 0:25:46.600
<v Speaker 2>that we're just nutting something out. Well he nutted it out, elp.

0:25:47.000 --> 0:25:49.240
<v Speaker 2>I realize that we're just nutting it out and having

0:25:49.240 --> 0:25:51.560
<v Speaker 2>the discussion. But you know, you are listening to this

0:25:51.640 --> 0:25:54.840
<v Speaker 2>and this is your relationship and you definitely need to

0:25:54.840 --> 0:25:56.879
<v Speaker 2>have a conversation. I'm sorry that you found that because

0:25:56.880 --> 0:25:59.040
<v Speaker 2>there is that moment too. You know, when you know

0:25:59.119 --> 0:26:01.600
<v Speaker 2>in a relationship and you have that moment, Usually we

0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:03.359
<v Speaker 2>all ignore it. We've all done it, you know, the

0:26:03.440 --> 0:26:07.480
<v Speaker 2>moment you've seen the evidence, you've seen something, and it

0:26:07.520 --> 0:26:09.919
<v Speaker 2>makes you feel sick because you're like, I know what

0:26:09.960 --> 0:26:12.199
<v Speaker 2>this means. But then usually we try and put it

0:26:12.240 --> 0:26:14.160
<v Speaker 2>to the side and talk ourselves out of it because

0:26:14.200 --> 0:26:16.240
<v Speaker 2>we want to believe. You want to believe that that's

0:26:16.240 --> 0:26:18.480
<v Speaker 2>what he's done. You want to believe your relationship is fine,

0:26:18.520 --> 0:26:19.840
<v Speaker 2>and then not doing the dirty And.

0:26:20.080 --> 0:26:22.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean and when someone's lying straight to your face,

0:26:22.560 --> 0:26:24.359
<v Speaker 1>and you love them. You want to believe that, so

0:26:24.480 --> 0:26:27.720
<v Speaker 1>you make allowances for your brain to kind of reconcile

0:26:27.800 --> 0:26:28.879
<v Speaker 1>the thing that they're telling you.

0:26:29.400 --> 0:26:31.760
<v Speaker 2>I think I'm almoys would be more angry that my

0:26:31.800 --> 0:26:34.440
<v Speaker 2>partner went and tried to father another child without telling

0:26:34.480 --> 0:26:36.320
<v Speaker 2>me than if he had cheated on me once.

0:26:36.440 --> 0:26:38.119
<v Speaker 1>Like, you gotta be angry about both, to be honest,

0:26:38.200 --> 0:26:41.160
<v Speaker 1>of course, But that's a huge thing, bringing another child

0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:43.800
<v Speaker 1>into the world without a discussion. Well, it's not his child,

0:26:44.000 --> 0:26:44.879
<v Speaker 1>it's just a sperdination.

0:26:45.000 --> 0:26:46.800
<v Speaker 2>Well we don't know that, don't Yeah, we don't know

0:26:46.840 --> 0:26:48.639
<v Speaker 2>what their involvement is or what he's agreed to. My

0:26:48.680 --> 0:26:51.520
<v Speaker 2>point is, if you are doing that without at least

0:26:51.520 --> 0:26:53.600
<v Speaker 2>a discussion, then that's a pretty big thing.

0:26:53.800 --> 0:26:57.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, agree, all right. Question number two, fast moving relationships

0:26:57.520 --> 0:26:58.160
<v Speaker 1>and theft.

0:26:58.480 --> 0:26:59.600
<v Speaker 2>This is all kind of combo.

0:27:00.040 --> 0:27:02.760
<v Speaker 1>This is a really long one. It's a very long question.

0:27:02.920 --> 0:27:05.720
<v Speaker 1>It's worth it strap on in everybody. I've been seeing

0:27:05.760 --> 0:27:08.160
<v Speaker 1>a guy for about six months. One of those romances

0:27:08.200 --> 0:27:11.200
<v Speaker 1>that just moves quite fast and feels so perfect, feels

0:27:11.240 --> 0:27:14.840
<v Speaker 1>red flag. I have not hadship, I have not had

0:27:14.880 --> 0:27:18.400
<v Speaker 1>many adult relationships I've never felt this loved and if

0:27:18.440 --> 0:27:21.240
<v Speaker 1>you know, you know, so it's all full steam ahead

0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:24.159
<v Speaker 1>for me. We've had a few comments from friends and

0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:26.400
<v Speaker 1>family about the speed that we are moving, but that's

0:27:26.440 --> 0:27:29.720
<v Speaker 1>probably expected. We're currently applying for houses so that we

0:27:29.760 --> 0:27:32.720
<v Speaker 1>can live together. He has kids from past relationship that

0:27:32.760 --> 0:27:35.320
<v Speaker 1>he has a lot of the time. I love these kids,

0:27:35.320 --> 0:27:37.560
<v Speaker 1>so it's no problem for me that they're here and

0:27:37.600 --> 0:27:39.560
<v Speaker 1>that I can be that role in their life. I

0:27:39.600 --> 0:27:41.960
<v Speaker 1>am so excited to get a place together and start

0:27:41.960 --> 0:27:45.200
<v Speaker 1>our life together. My question is I have just found

0:27:45.280 --> 0:27:48.199
<v Speaker 1>out that he has some well legal proceedings coming up

0:27:48.240 --> 0:27:53.680
<v Speaker 1>this year. He used someone else's bank details to purchase

0:27:53.760 --> 0:27:57.720
<v Speaker 1>items for himself, so effectively, he is being done for

0:27:57.760 --> 0:28:00.600
<v Speaker 1>stealing and fraud. But he stands by that he was

0:28:00.640 --> 0:28:03.040
<v Speaker 1>told that he could spend the money on himself, even

0:28:03.080 --> 0:28:05.359
<v Speaker 1>though he thought it seemed a bit odd at the time.

0:28:06.200 --> 0:28:08.840
<v Speaker 1>Wait for this he would be plead and guilty, as

0:28:08.840 --> 0:28:11.520
<v Speaker 1>his lawyer advised him that this was the best outcome

0:28:11.560 --> 0:28:14.280
<v Speaker 1>for him. I'm so conflicted, as I have never felt

0:28:14.280 --> 0:28:16.720
<v Speaker 1>this loved by someone and felt like I was really

0:28:16.760 --> 0:28:19.760
<v Speaker 1>finally getting my fairy tale ending after watching everyone else

0:28:19.800 --> 0:28:22.360
<v Speaker 1>get theirs. Is it a bad idea to stand by

0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:25.440
<v Speaker 1>someone and support them while he goes through this knowing

0:28:25.480 --> 0:28:28.200
<v Speaker 1>that he has stolen from someone else. I can't even

0:28:28.240 --> 0:28:31.160
<v Speaker 1>fathom having to try and find someone else at this point,

0:28:31.160 --> 0:28:33.040
<v Speaker 1>as I really just want kids on my own in

0:28:33.080 --> 0:28:35.000
<v Speaker 1>the next few years, and it took me ten years

0:28:35.000 --> 0:28:37.679
<v Speaker 1>to find this person. Now, there are some other details

0:28:37.680 --> 0:28:39.880
<v Speaker 1>surrounding this that we can't share. We've been asked not

0:28:39.920 --> 0:28:41.960
<v Speaker 1>to share by the person who has provided the information.

0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:44.120
<v Speaker 1>But I do think that a little bit of context

0:28:44.160 --> 0:28:46.840
<v Speaker 1>is important so that we can unpack it. It's not

0:28:46.880 --> 0:28:49.480
<v Speaker 1>a small sum of money. It's over ten thousand dollars.

0:28:49.920 --> 0:28:52.719
<v Speaker 1>And the person that this money was stolen from it

0:28:52.760 --> 0:28:55.200
<v Speaker 1>was taking advantage of someone who is very vulnerable, put

0:28:55.240 --> 0:28:57.160
<v Speaker 1>it that way. So there are two bits of information

0:28:57.200 --> 0:28:58.080
<v Speaker 1>I think are important.

0:28:58.480 --> 0:29:01.240
<v Speaker 2>The added information it does take it to another level,

0:29:01.400 --> 0:29:03.800
<v Speaker 2>but for me, it's not the bill and end all,

0:29:03.840 --> 0:29:05.760
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't change it that much for me. At the

0:29:05.840 --> 0:29:09.280
<v Speaker 2>end of the day, I would be very concerned if

0:29:09.320 --> 0:29:12.520
<v Speaker 2>I was six months into a relationship with someone that

0:29:12.720 --> 0:29:14.600
<v Speaker 2>sounds like it might be a bit love Bomby you

0:29:14.600 --> 0:29:17.920
<v Speaker 2>said it was like very full on and moving really fast.

0:29:18.320 --> 0:29:21.200
<v Speaker 2>If six months in, when we're talking about moving in together,

0:29:21.360 --> 0:29:23.080
<v Speaker 2>I found out that he was going to court from

0:29:23.120 --> 0:29:25.800
<v Speaker 2>stealing from someone using that money on himself, like taking

0:29:25.840 --> 0:29:28.720
<v Speaker 2>their bank details. And I want to say this lightly

0:29:28.840 --> 0:29:31.000
<v Speaker 2>because we don't know the rest of it, but this

0:29:31.080 --> 0:29:32.920
<v Speaker 2>is a red flag that I don't think i'd be

0:29:32.920 --> 0:29:36.479
<v Speaker 2>committing to six months in. We all know guilty. A

0:29:36.480 --> 0:29:38.200
<v Speaker 2>lot can happen in six months, and you can fall

0:29:38.200 --> 0:29:43.000
<v Speaker 2>head over heels, but you have to be very careful

0:29:43.280 --> 0:29:46.600
<v Speaker 2>because in this situation, you have said you really want

0:29:46.600 --> 0:29:48.320
<v Speaker 2>to be loved, and you feel the love and you

0:29:48.520 --> 0:29:50.720
<v Speaker 2>just want that relationship. You have to be careful that

0:29:50.760 --> 0:29:53.480
<v Speaker 2>you are not mixing this up and trying to make

0:29:53.720 --> 0:29:56.720
<v Speaker 2>him ten times better in your mind because you want

0:29:56.720 --> 0:29:58.640
<v Speaker 2>the situation to work out. You really need to take

0:29:58.640 --> 0:30:01.280
<v Speaker 2>a step back and look at this from an outside perspective,

0:30:01.360 --> 0:30:03.480
<v Speaker 2>at what he has done and what you think he's

0:30:03.560 --> 0:30:07.480
<v Speaker 2>capable of. I hate to say this, but you really

0:30:07.520 --> 0:30:09.600
<v Speaker 2>don't know someone after six months. I will be the

0:30:09.600 --> 0:30:11.640
<v Speaker 2>first person to say you don't say it, I'll say it.

0:30:11.800 --> 0:30:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know him, No.

0:30:12.760 --> 0:30:15.200
<v Speaker 2>But you can be so in love with someone, but

0:30:15.240 --> 0:30:17.480
<v Speaker 2>that doesn't mean you know them. You know I was

0:30:17.520 --> 0:30:19.360
<v Speaker 2>with someone for two years, I was getting married to you,

0:30:19.440 --> 0:30:21.400
<v Speaker 2>and then I found out he had a double life.

0:30:21.440 --> 0:30:23.400
<v Speaker 1>I think the thing that is important to keep contact

0:30:23.400 --> 0:30:26.200
<v Speaker 1>on with this is that you need to keep your

0:30:26.240 --> 0:30:28.200
<v Speaker 1>wits about you, because when I say you don't know

0:30:28.320 --> 0:30:31.240
<v Speaker 1>someone at six months, you can know someone at six months.

0:30:31.520 --> 0:30:33.600
<v Speaker 1>If someone is being honest with you, if they're telling

0:30:33.600 --> 0:30:36.560
<v Speaker 1>you exactly who they are, if they're being transparent, if

0:30:36.560 --> 0:30:40.320
<v Speaker 1>they are all of the things that you want in

0:30:40.360 --> 0:30:43.200
<v Speaker 1>a partner, they are that, but they're being it because

0:30:43.320 --> 0:30:46.360
<v Speaker 1>it's actually authentic to them, then yeah, six months you

0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:49.400
<v Speaker 1>do know someone. But six months is not enough time

0:30:49.520 --> 0:30:52.080
<v Speaker 1>to know whether you're in a relationship with someone who

0:30:52.120 --> 0:30:55.680
<v Speaker 1>is lying to you, especially when love bombing can be

0:30:55.760 --> 0:30:58.640
<v Speaker 1>involved and your judgment can be clouded and they seem

0:30:58.800 --> 0:31:02.520
<v Speaker 1>so amazing, because it could be a case I'm not

0:31:02.520 --> 0:31:04.600
<v Speaker 1>saying it absolutely is, but it could be a case

0:31:04.640 --> 0:31:07.200
<v Speaker 1>that they are presenting the best version of themselves to you,

0:31:07.480 --> 0:31:09.680
<v Speaker 1>and it's very easy for someone to keep that facade

0:31:09.720 --> 0:31:11.680
<v Speaker 1>up for six months. Well yeah, The thing is, though,

0:31:11.760 --> 0:31:14.000
<v Speaker 1>is that he's almost not kept the facade up for

0:31:14.040 --> 0:31:17.440
<v Speaker 1>six months. He's kept it up until this very very

0:31:17.480 --> 0:31:20.720
<v Speaker 1>massive flaw was revealed. You've only just recently found this out.

0:31:21.080 --> 0:31:23.240
<v Speaker 1>He could have shared this with you at any point

0:31:23.280 --> 0:31:24.960
<v Speaker 1>over the last six months if he was going to

0:31:24.960 --> 0:31:27.720
<v Speaker 1>be transparent with you and honest, but obviously that would

0:31:27.760 --> 0:31:30.400
<v Speaker 1>have impacted the way that you felt about him. So

0:31:30.440 --> 0:31:33.080
<v Speaker 1>he chose to keep things a secret until a point

0:31:33.080 --> 0:31:35.760
<v Speaker 1>where he couldn't possibly keep it secret anymore and he

0:31:35.840 --> 0:31:38.760
<v Speaker 1>had to share it. So if I was in this relationship,

0:31:38.800 --> 0:31:40.280
<v Speaker 1>and I know it's easier to be said than done

0:31:40.320 --> 0:31:42.320
<v Speaker 1>when you feel as though you're totally in love with someone,

0:31:42.600 --> 0:31:44.719
<v Speaker 1>but I would be slowing it down. And if your

0:31:44.760 --> 0:31:48.880
<v Speaker 1>friends and your family are raising the alarm about a relationship,

0:31:49.680 --> 0:31:52.200
<v Speaker 1>it is something to listen to because they know you

0:31:52.400 --> 0:31:54.880
<v Speaker 1>and they probably can see things that you can't see.

0:31:55.040 --> 0:31:57.360
<v Speaker 1>So I would say, are not saying break up with him,

0:31:57.600 --> 0:32:00.400
<v Speaker 1>but just fucking wind it back. You do need to

0:32:00.440 --> 0:32:02.560
<v Speaker 1>be moving in with him. You don't need to be

0:32:02.640 --> 0:32:06.400
<v Speaker 1>totally entwined in his life after six months. Just slow

0:32:06.480 --> 0:32:08.600
<v Speaker 1>things down a little bit and let him get through

0:32:08.600 --> 0:32:13.600
<v Speaker 1>this court proceeding and everything else, and maybe that tiny

0:32:13.640 --> 0:32:16.640
<v Speaker 1>bit of distance will allow you to have clearer judgment

0:32:16.720 --> 0:32:19.080
<v Speaker 1>and decide whether or not he is the person who's

0:32:19.080 --> 0:32:22.720
<v Speaker 1>saying is or whether actually he is a person who

0:32:22.720 --> 0:32:24.600
<v Speaker 1>can take advantage of someone to steal from them.

0:32:24.680 --> 0:32:27.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's absolutely no rush. He's six months deep. There's

0:32:27.160 --> 0:32:29.400
<v Speaker 2>no rush to be moving in together. You can continue

0:32:29.400 --> 0:32:31.440
<v Speaker 2>to date slowly if you want to continue to date

0:32:31.480 --> 0:32:35.360
<v Speaker 2>at all. You do only know somebody from what they

0:32:35.400 --> 0:32:37.880
<v Speaker 2>allow you to know, Like they keep from you what

0:32:37.960 --> 0:32:39.959
<v Speaker 2>they want, and they show you the parts that they

0:32:40.000 --> 0:32:42.120
<v Speaker 2>want to show you. And that's what he's done. When

0:32:42.160 --> 0:32:45.400
<v Speaker 2>I really peel this back, for me, I just think

0:32:45.440 --> 0:32:49.320
<v Speaker 2>the foundations or one of the strongholds of a relationship

0:32:49.680 --> 0:32:53.840
<v Speaker 2>is having the same morals. This person's morals do not

0:32:53.880 --> 0:32:56.120
<v Speaker 2>align with mine, and I don't think that I could

0:32:56.120 --> 0:32:58.240
<v Speaker 2>stay in a relationship. It's not like you've been with

0:32:58.320 --> 0:33:00.239
<v Speaker 2>him for five years and you're like, shit, you did

0:33:00.280 --> 0:33:02.160
<v Speaker 2>that three years ago, Like, you know, we need to

0:33:02.160 --> 0:33:04.479
<v Speaker 2>work through this. This is six months that he has

0:33:04.560 --> 0:33:05.920
<v Speaker 2>kept from you. It has come out that he has

0:33:05.960 --> 0:33:08.440
<v Speaker 2>stolen from someone vulnerable. I don't know. For me, that

0:33:08.640 --> 0:33:11.120
<v Speaker 2>is a really big red flag for his morals don't

0:33:11.120 --> 0:33:13.400
<v Speaker 2>align with mine. Morals for me is a very big

0:33:13.400 --> 0:33:16.480
<v Speaker 2>part of forming a relationship. And what you think is okay, totally.

0:33:16.560 --> 0:33:18.959
<v Speaker 1>And also just because someone is nice and loving to

0:33:19.000 --> 0:33:22.719
<v Speaker 1>you and they give you the best version of themselves.

0:33:23.040 --> 0:33:25.520
<v Speaker 1>If they're the type of person who can take advantage

0:33:25.640 --> 0:33:30.000
<v Speaker 1>of someone who is super vulnerable and take from them

0:33:30.320 --> 0:33:32.680
<v Speaker 1>and steal from them, I think that says a hell

0:33:32.680 --> 0:33:34.960
<v Speaker 1>of a lot about their character. You can't discard the

0:33:35.000 --> 0:33:38.479
<v Speaker 1>way that someone treats someone else because they take all

0:33:38.560 --> 0:33:40.880
<v Speaker 1>the other boxes, like I think that that is something

0:33:40.920 --> 0:33:44.640
<v Speaker 1>that's very dangerous, and you may find that when he's

0:33:44.680 --> 0:33:46.680
<v Speaker 1>not as in love with you anymore, he treats you

0:33:46.720 --> 0:33:48.520
<v Speaker 1>in a way where he takes advantage of you because

0:33:48.560 --> 0:33:52.040
<v Speaker 1>he clearly doesn't have a very honest or I guess,

0:33:52.080 --> 0:33:55.920
<v Speaker 1>like genuine moral compass like he You know, I don't know.

0:33:56.000 --> 0:33:59.000
<v Speaker 1>I worry about this situation from the information that you've

0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:01.440
<v Speaker 1>given us. When you say like it's been advised to

0:34:01.480 --> 0:34:04.080
<v Speaker 1>him to plead guilty, it must be very very clear

0:34:04.120 --> 0:34:06.360
<v Speaker 1>cut that he is guilty, and that's why he's been

0:34:06.400 --> 0:34:09.719
<v Speaker 1>advised to plead guilty. And secondly, when he says that

0:34:09.760 --> 0:34:12.319
<v Speaker 1>he admitted that, yeah, it did seem strange that this

0:34:12.360 --> 0:34:15.440
<v Speaker 1>person was giving me the money. If it seemed strange,

0:34:15.719 --> 0:34:18.480
<v Speaker 1>then surely you would investigate it, like is he an idiot?

0:34:18.600 --> 0:34:20.480
<v Speaker 1>Is he someone who you speak to and you're like, yeah,

0:34:20.560 --> 0:34:23.440
<v Speaker 1>my boyfriend's actually like he's super gullible and he's a

0:34:23.440 --> 0:34:26.280
<v Speaker 1>little bit dumb, and that's why he would have fallen

0:34:26.360 --> 0:34:28.400
<v Speaker 1>for that? Or did he once again, like, is it

0:34:28.520 --> 0:34:30.840
<v Speaker 1>pretty clear cut that he must have taken advantage of

0:34:30.880 --> 0:34:33.360
<v Speaker 1>a situation that clearly seemed wrong from the get go.

0:34:33.600 --> 0:34:36.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's hard to answer because I'm a big fan

0:34:36.800 --> 0:34:40.480
<v Speaker 2>of saying people can make mistakes, but in this specific situation,

0:34:40.800 --> 0:34:43.160
<v Speaker 2>whilst I believe he can make a mistake, this was

0:34:43.200 --> 0:34:45.480
<v Speaker 2>a really shitty mistake that I think says a lot.

0:34:45.520 --> 0:34:47.600
<v Speaker 2>And I don't think you're deep enough in it yet

0:34:48.200 --> 0:34:50.120
<v Speaker 2>to have to stay in it. That's my thing. You're

0:34:50.120 --> 0:34:52.719
<v Speaker 2>six months, you're feeling it out, you really want the love.

0:34:53.160 --> 0:34:55.799
<v Speaker 2>I will say, you will find love again, Like there

0:34:55.880 --> 0:34:57.719
<v Speaker 2>is more love out there in the world. This isn't

0:34:57.719 --> 0:34:59.359
<v Speaker 2>the only person that's going to make you feel this

0:34:59.400 --> 0:35:03.440
<v Speaker 2>way ever. Really think carefully, step back, don't move in

0:35:03.480 --> 0:35:07.040
<v Speaker 2>with him yet, slow down the relationship. Maybe have some

0:35:07.080 --> 0:35:10.320
<v Speaker 2>conversations with your friends and family about why they're concerned,

0:35:10.360 --> 0:35:12.200
<v Speaker 2>because they may be seeing things or not that's my

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:15.239
<v Speaker 2>advice from this situation, but tread very carefully.

0:35:15.360 --> 0:35:18.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that one more makes me feel not good. I know,

0:35:18.360 --> 0:35:19.759
<v Speaker 1>I feel like it has all the red flags for

0:35:19.800 --> 0:35:22.880
<v Speaker 1>a very bad relationship. So do I okay? All right?

0:35:22.960 --> 0:35:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Next to question, my husband and I eloped overseas. We

0:35:28.120 --> 0:35:30.160
<v Speaker 1>made the decision to keep it a surprise and tell

0:35:30.239 --> 0:35:33.320
<v Speaker 1>everyone at the time, with individual messages to our immediate

0:35:33.360 --> 0:35:36.640
<v Speaker 1>families and social media informing all other families and friends.

0:35:37.160 --> 0:35:40.120
<v Speaker 1>Everyone so far has been extremely happy for us and

0:35:40.280 --> 0:35:44.280
<v Speaker 1>shared that excitement, mainly my husband's family. My parents, however,

0:35:44.440 --> 0:35:47.160
<v Speaker 1>have not contacted me since we told them over two

0:35:47.360 --> 0:35:51.560
<v Speaker 1>weeks ago, absolute radio silence. I preempted this reaction from

0:35:51.560 --> 0:35:54.000
<v Speaker 1>my mum, seeing as my mother in law was actually

0:35:54.080 --> 0:35:56.360
<v Speaker 1>on holiday with us and was able to be at

0:35:56.400 --> 0:35:57.880
<v Speaker 1>the elopement. Oh that's got to.

0:35:57.880 --> 0:36:00.839
<v Speaker 2>Hurt, oh her.

0:36:01.080 --> 0:36:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I knew that this would upset her. However, I still

0:36:03.640 --> 0:36:06.239
<v Speaker 1>hope she could put aside her personal hurt to still

0:36:06.239 --> 0:36:08.760
<v Speaker 1>be happy for us. I am angry at my parents

0:36:08.760 --> 0:36:10.839
<v Speaker 1>for their lack of interest in such a pivotal point

0:36:10.920 --> 0:36:13.400
<v Speaker 1>in my life, and am adamant that I am not

0:36:13.480 --> 0:36:15.360
<v Speaker 1>the one who needs to reach out at this time.

0:36:15.760 --> 0:36:17.719
<v Speaker 1>Am I right to leave the ball in their court

0:36:17.800 --> 0:36:20.720
<v Speaker 1>to reach out. Every day that goes by seriously affects

0:36:20.719 --> 0:36:23.680
<v Speaker 1>how our relationship looks in the future. Please note, my

0:36:23.800 --> 0:36:27.280
<v Speaker 1>mum is often a selfish person who is always the victim.

0:36:27.640 --> 0:36:30.040
<v Speaker 1>My dad hurts more though, as he appears to have

0:36:30.120 --> 0:36:33.200
<v Speaker 1>sided with my mum in not messaging me personally either.

0:36:35.000 --> 0:36:39.200
<v Speaker 2>I hate to say this, but I borderline, well not borderline,

0:36:39.200 --> 0:36:41.200
<v Speaker 2>I am. I'm sort of on your mom and dad's side.

0:36:41.200 --> 0:36:44.280
<v Speaker 2>I completely understand what they're saying. You said you're angry

0:36:44.360 --> 0:36:46.520
<v Speaker 2>from their lack of interest in your wedding. I don't

0:36:46.560 --> 0:36:48.480
<v Speaker 2>think that's it. I don't think they have a lack

0:36:48.520 --> 0:36:50.839
<v Speaker 2>of interest. I think they're angry because they probably had

0:36:50.880 --> 0:36:54.239
<v Speaker 2>an interest. Not only were they not included, but his

0:36:54.400 --> 0:36:57.960
<v Speaker 2>family was included. Like his family was there. That really

0:36:58.000 --> 0:37:00.160
<v Speaker 2>has to sting. I'm not saying that they're handling it

0:37:00.200 --> 0:37:02.279
<v Speaker 2>the right way. I don't think there's a right way

0:37:02.320 --> 0:37:04.640
<v Speaker 2>in this situation. I do think you have to have

0:37:04.680 --> 0:37:06.960
<v Speaker 2>a bit of understanding for maybe how hurt they.

0:37:06.840 --> 0:37:09.600
<v Speaker 1>Are by it. I read this and that just made

0:37:09.640 --> 0:37:15.120
<v Speaker 1>me feel really, really sad. I think, look, I know

0:37:15.280 --> 0:37:16.880
<v Speaker 1>that you're saying that you don't feel like you need

0:37:16.920 --> 0:37:18.960
<v Speaker 1>to reach out to your mum and that you're angry

0:37:19.000 --> 0:37:21.359
<v Speaker 1>and you're hurt by their lack of interest. The one

0:37:21.360 --> 0:37:24.239
<v Speaker 1>thing I want to say about this is that I

0:37:24.320 --> 0:37:27.680
<v Speaker 1>think if you were planning on excluding your mum and

0:37:27.800 --> 0:37:30.680
<v Speaker 1>including your mother in law, there should have been a

0:37:30.680 --> 0:37:34.640
<v Speaker 1>preemptive conversation. And I think it's very, very challenging after

0:37:34.719 --> 0:37:37.480
<v Speaker 1>the fact to turn around and say, all, my mum's

0:37:37.520 --> 0:37:39.880
<v Speaker 1>often selfish and my mum's often this person. It's like

0:37:40.239 --> 0:37:42.920
<v Speaker 1>that was a communication and a conversation that could have

0:37:42.960 --> 0:37:45.920
<v Speaker 1>happened prior, where you could have talked to your mum

0:37:45.960 --> 0:37:48.520
<v Speaker 1>and had an open discussion, because as far as she's aware,

0:37:49.160 --> 0:37:51.319
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't know that you feel that way about her,

0:37:51.440 --> 0:37:53.279
<v Speaker 1>or you know, you haven't given us that information, so

0:37:53.880 --> 0:37:57.120
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't know that you think those things of her,

0:37:57.680 --> 0:38:02.719
<v Speaker 1>and so her experience of this is that you rejected her.

0:38:02.840 --> 0:38:05.000
<v Speaker 1>You did not want your mom there, You wanted your

0:38:05.040 --> 0:38:07.799
<v Speaker 1>mother in law there, and you care about your relationship

0:38:07.880 --> 0:38:09.880
<v Speaker 1>with your partner's mum more than you care about the

0:38:09.880 --> 0:38:12.640
<v Speaker 1>relationship with your own mum. And it would be nice

0:38:12.680 --> 0:38:17.919
<v Speaker 1>if your mom could be so she could be so selfless. Yes, selfless,

0:38:18.040 --> 0:38:21.160
<v Speaker 1>and she could be so above it all to be like,

0:38:21.200 --> 0:38:23.239
<v Speaker 1>do you know what, sweetheart, it doesn't matter whatever you

0:38:23.280 --> 0:38:25.880
<v Speaker 1>wanted on that day, even if that is your happiness

0:38:25.920 --> 0:38:28.760
<v Speaker 1>without me, I get it. That would be so nice.

0:38:29.280 --> 0:38:31.319
<v Speaker 1>I think about how maybe I would react as a

0:38:31.400 --> 0:38:34.080
<v Speaker 1>mom if Molly turned around and said that she got

0:38:34.120 --> 0:38:36.720
<v Speaker 1>married and she didn't want me there, but she had

0:38:36.880 --> 0:38:40.600
<v Speaker 1>her partner's mom there. I would feel devastated. And you

0:38:40.640 --> 0:38:43.480
<v Speaker 1>feel devastated because you, as a parent, you give your

0:38:43.480 --> 0:38:45.400
<v Speaker 1>whole life to your kids. You do you make so

0:38:45.560 --> 0:38:49.560
<v Speaker 1>many sacrifices for their happiness and to support them and

0:38:49.600 --> 0:38:51.359
<v Speaker 1>to be a part of their lives and to love them.

0:38:51.520 --> 0:38:53.640
<v Speaker 1>And you might not do it perfect, like you might

0:38:53.680 --> 0:38:56.279
<v Speaker 1>not be an amazing parent, and you might make mistakes,

0:38:56.760 --> 0:38:58.759
<v Speaker 1>but you also need to be given the opportunity to

0:38:58.920 --> 0:39:01.640
<v Speaker 1>know that you've made mistakes and to try and rectify

0:39:01.680 --> 0:39:05.120
<v Speaker 1>those things. So if you, as the adult child, are

0:39:05.160 --> 0:39:07.759
<v Speaker 1>not having those conversations with your parents, but yet you're

0:39:07.760 --> 0:39:12.160
<v Speaker 1>punishing them, it's really really fucking unfair. And I'm so

0:39:12.200 --> 0:39:13.799
<v Speaker 1>sorry if you listened to this and you thought that

0:39:13.880 --> 0:39:16.880
<v Speaker 1>maybe we would side with you, But I think that

0:39:17.040 --> 0:39:19.480
<v Speaker 1>a really honest and open situation has to be had

0:39:19.520 --> 0:39:21.239
<v Speaker 1>with your mum, where you both sit down and talk

0:39:21.239 --> 0:39:23.560
<v Speaker 1>about the ways that you're feeling and the reason why

0:39:23.600 --> 0:39:25.840
<v Speaker 1>you made the decision that you made, because you're not

0:39:25.920 --> 0:39:27.400
<v Speaker 1>going to get to a place of repair.

0:39:27.920 --> 0:39:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I also don't think your dad is siding with your mom.

0:39:31.520 --> 0:39:34.799
<v Speaker 2>I think he's probably just as upset. From their perspective,

0:39:34.920 --> 0:39:37.600
<v Speaker 2>you made an active choice. You made an active choice

0:39:37.600 --> 0:39:40.279
<v Speaker 2>to exclude you to go on a holiday and get

0:39:40.320 --> 0:39:43.440
<v Speaker 2>married with one set of parents and not even worn

0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:46.040
<v Speaker 2>the other set of parents that it was happening. I

0:39:46.080 --> 0:39:50.160
<v Speaker 2>can't see a world in where I think that that

0:39:50.200 --> 0:39:52.960
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't end up the way it's ended up. And I'm

0:39:52.960 --> 0:39:54.799
<v Speaker 2>sure your parents are happy for you that you know

0:39:54.840 --> 0:39:57.719
<v Speaker 2>their daughter got married, but they're very, very hurt because

0:39:57.719 --> 0:40:01.000
<v Speaker 2>that is a very it's not even a there's probably

0:40:01.040 --> 0:40:04.040
<v Speaker 2>a level of embarrassment too, like, oh, we won't you

0:40:04.080 --> 0:40:08.240
<v Speaker 2>don't even think enough of us or value us enough

0:40:08.280 --> 0:40:10.040
<v Speaker 2>to even let us know what's happening. Like we were

0:40:10.120 --> 0:40:12.800
<v Speaker 2>left in the dark while they were at your wedding,

0:40:12.840 --> 0:40:15.320
<v Speaker 2>Like we didn't even know you're getting married. They're watching

0:40:15.360 --> 0:40:17.520
<v Speaker 2>you get married, they're in the wedding photos. They have

0:40:17.680 --> 0:40:21.240
<v Speaker 2>that memory, it's a pretty big statement to have made.

0:40:21.440 --> 0:40:22.960
<v Speaker 2>I do think you need to reach out to your

0:40:22.960 --> 0:40:26.040
<v Speaker 2>parents even though you're hurt. You can tell them that

0:40:26.080 --> 0:40:28.759
<v Speaker 2>you're hurt by their response, but I do think you

0:40:28.840 --> 0:40:31.600
<v Speaker 2>need to take a step back and understand just how

0:40:31.680 --> 0:40:32.360
<v Speaker 2>hurt they're feeling.

0:40:32.440 --> 0:40:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I also have a question. You wrote, we made

0:40:34.040 --> 0:40:36.840
<v Speaker 1>the decision to keep it a surprise and tell everyone

0:40:36.960 --> 0:40:40.600
<v Speaker 1>at the same time, with individual messages to our immediate

0:40:40.640 --> 0:40:44.320
<v Speaker 1>family and social media informing all other family and friends.

0:40:44.719 --> 0:40:46.560
<v Speaker 1>So when you say you did it at the same time,

0:40:46.760 --> 0:40:49.520
<v Speaker 1>was it like Instagram posts and personal messages all at

0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:52.520
<v Speaker 1>the same time. As a parent, my question is is like,

0:40:53.320 --> 0:40:56.200
<v Speaker 1>how fractured is your relationship with your mum and dad?

0:40:56.880 --> 0:41:00.400
<v Speaker 1>Did they know that it was fractured? Is it an

0:41:00.560 --> 0:41:04.520
<v Speaker 1>unrepairable relationship? Because the way you're behaving that to me

0:41:04.800 --> 0:41:07.960
<v Speaker 1>speaks volumes that you're saying to your parents you're not

0:41:08.000 --> 0:41:10.879
<v Speaker 1>as important to me for xyz reasons. But if they

0:41:10.960 --> 0:41:12.640
<v Speaker 1>don't know that, then this is going to come as

0:41:12.640 --> 0:41:14.440
<v Speaker 1>a huge shock. And I do think that there is

0:41:14.480 --> 0:41:19.040
<v Speaker 1>a responsibility that we have as adults to have conversations

0:41:19.040 --> 0:41:21.960
<v Speaker 1>with our parents when something has been hurtful or something

0:41:22.280 --> 0:41:24.319
<v Speaker 1>has made us feel a certain way, and that might

0:41:24.360 --> 0:41:28.480
<v Speaker 1>be prolonged years of a dysfunctional relationship. But we need

0:41:28.520 --> 0:41:31.640
<v Speaker 1>to be also a participants in resolving that relationship with

0:41:31.640 --> 0:41:33.799
<v Speaker 1>our parents if we want to. But if we don't

0:41:33.800 --> 0:41:35.600
<v Speaker 1>want to, you then can't be mad at how your

0:41:35.600 --> 0:41:37.759
<v Speaker 1>parents react to the decisions you make.

0:41:38.640 --> 0:41:40.840
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, my only thing that I'm kind of I'm trying

0:41:40.840 --> 0:41:43.239
<v Speaker 3>to not read between the lines too much, but I

0:41:43.400 --> 0:41:45.839
<v Speaker 3>just don't want us to make assumptions because we don't

0:41:45.880 --> 0:41:49.320
<v Speaker 3>know why this person didn't want her parents at her wedding.

0:41:49.520 --> 0:41:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, do you know what I mean?

0:41:51.560 --> 0:41:53.840
<v Speaker 3>And you've said the one line that I am just

0:41:53.920 --> 0:41:56.399
<v Speaker 3>reading over is like, please note my mum is often

0:41:56.440 --> 0:42:00.120
<v Speaker 3>a selfish person who is always the victim. Was that

0:42:00.200 --> 0:42:02.080
<v Speaker 3>why you didn't want her at your wedding?

0:42:02.120 --> 0:42:02.200
<v Speaker 5>Like?

0:42:02.880 --> 0:42:05.440
<v Speaker 3>Sometimes I think for a lot of our parents' generation,

0:42:05.960 --> 0:42:08.440
<v Speaker 3>they struggle a lot with self reflection of where they

0:42:08.480 --> 0:42:12.279
<v Speaker 3>could be in the wrong in the dynamics of their

0:42:12.360 --> 0:42:14.960
<v Speaker 3>children's relationships. And I could be projecting a little bit here,

0:42:15.000 --> 0:42:18.520
<v Speaker 3>but it just makes me question, like, does your parent

0:42:18.680 --> 0:42:21.360
<v Speaker 3>have a complete lack of awareness? And why is the

0:42:21.400 --> 0:42:25.040
<v Speaker 3>responsibility on this girl to make her parents aware of

0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:27.319
<v Speaker 3>why she has a fractured relationship with them is my

0:42:27.400 --> 0:42:29.640
<v Speaker 3>only question. And I know that that's like a little

0:42:29.640 --> 0:42:31.480
<v Speaker 3>bit deep, but I just want to give her the

0:42:31.480 --> 0:42:33.480
<v Speaker 3>benefit of the doubt of like, there could be a

0:42:33.560 --> 0:42:35.959
<v Speaker 3>really good reason for why she didn't want her parents

0:42:36.040 --> 0:42:37.800
<v Speaker 3>at the wedding and they're kind of kicking off about it,

0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:39.279
<v Speaker 3>and she's like, oh, great, now I've got to.

0:42:39.200 --> 0:42:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Deal with this.

0:42:39.680 --> 0:42:41.719
<v Speaker 2>I agree with that, Keish. I do agree that we

0:42:41.760 --> 0:42:43.960
<v Speaker 2>don't know the situation, and maybe she didn't want them

0:42:43.960 --> 0:42:46.960
<v Speaker 2>there for a valid reason, But then those two things

0:42:47.000 --> 0:42:50.279
<v Speaker 2>don't align. If your relationship is so fractured that you

0:42:50.320 --> 0:42:53.000
<v Speaker 2>don't want them at your wedding, why does it matter

0:42:53.080 --> 0:42:55.520
<v Speaker 2>so much that they haven't spoken to you in two

0:42:55.560 --> 0:42:56.960
<v Speaker 2>weeks about it? And why does it matter so much

0:42:57.000 --> 0:42:59.240
<v Speaker 2>that they're not happy for you? If the relationship's fractured

0:42:59.320 --> 0:43:01.640
<v Speaker 2>enough that you don't have to involve them, that's my question.

0:43:01.880 --> 0:43:04.120
<v Speaker 2>And to not even have had that initial combination, I.

0:43:04.120 --> 0:43:05.839
<v Speaker 3>Think maybe she could have been in a situation where

0:43:05.840 --> 0:43:07.400
<v Speaker 3>it was a lose lose, like if she could have

0:43:07.480 --> 0:43:09.840
<v Speaker 3>told them and invited them, she might not have actually

0:43:09.880 --> 0:43:12.520
<v Speaker 3>wanted them to be there for her special day. But

0:43:12.719 --> 0:43:15.120
<v Speaker 3>then she's got to deal with the consequences as well.

0:43:15.160 --> 0:43:17.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I think it's a really tricky one.

0:43:17.640 --> 0:43:19.719
<v Speaker 1>I agree with everything you said Keisha as well, but

0:43:20.280 --> 0:43:22.520
<v Speaker 1>I think you know, I knew this would upset her. However,

0:43:22.560 --> 0:43:24.600
<v Speaker 1>I still hope that she could put aside her personal

0:43:24.680 --> 0:43:28.040
<v Speaker 1>hurt to be happy for us. I kind of think

0:43:28.080 --> 0:43:29.880
<v Speaker 1>you went in there knowing what the response was going

0:43:29.960 --> 0:43:32.200
<v Speaker 1>to be, Like, you set this situation up, and it's

0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:34.359
<v Speaker 1>like you almost set yourself up for the disappointment because

0:43:34.400 --> 0:43:36.600
<v Speaker 1>you expected your parents to behave in a way that's

0:43:36.640 --> 0:43:40.040
<v Speaker 1>not congruent with how they've always behaved. But the thing is,

0:43:40.120 --> 0:43:43.080
<v Speaker 1>and I do come back to this, if you want

0:43:43.239 --> 0:43:46.279
<v Speaker 1>to change your relationship with your parents, you have to

0:43:46.320 --> 0:43:49.120
<v Speaker 1>try right, Like, you cannot expect that your parents are

0:43:49.120 --> 0:43:51.879
<v Speaker 1>going to reach Nirvana one day, realize all the things

0:43:51.880 --> 0:43:53.960
<v Speaker 1>that they did wrong when you were growing up and

0:43:54.520 --> 0:43:57.719
<v Speaker 1>apologize and say I just have been thinking about it.

0:43:57.760 --> 0:43:59.520
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I wasn't the best parent. It's never going to

0:43:59.560 --> 0:44:02.520
<v Speaker 1>fucking happen. And the only way that happens is if

0:44:02.560 --> 0:44:05.279
<v Speaker 1>you have a conversation with them and you say, hey, mamma,

0:44:05.360 --> 0:44:07.799
<v Speaker 1>know you tried really hard with these things. But these

0:44:07.800 --> 0:44:11.040
<v Speaker 1>are reasons why sometimes I find it hard to communicate

0:44:11.080 --> 0:44:13.319
<v Speaker 1>with you. And the thing is, your mom's either going

0:44:13.400 --> 0:44:15.640
<v Speaker 1>to show up and she's going to care about the

0:44:15.680 --> 0:44:18.360
<v Speaker 1>relationship which she has with you and take some accountability

0:44:18.680 --> 0:44:23.160
<v Speaker 1>because the relationship is more important than her pride or

0:44:23.160 --> 0:44:25.640
<v Speaker 1>her feelings, or she's not. But that's going to give

0:44:25.680 --> 0:44:27.560
<v Speaker 1>you a really clear indication as to who she is.

0:44:27.960 --> 0:44:30.600
<v Speaker 1>Expecting that your mom is going to behave differently without

0:44:30.600 --> 0:44:33.440
<v Speaker 1>giving her the tools or the explanation is setting her

0:44:33.520 --> 0:44:35.560
<v Speaker 1>up to fail, I think. And that's what's happened in

0:44:35.560 --> 0:44:39.360
<v Speaker 1>this situation. You knew she would be hurt, and she was, Yeah,

0:44:39.760 --> 0:44:42.080
<v Speaker 1>it's so hard, and now I feel like I'm raining down.

0:44:42.280 --> 0:44:44.279
<v Speaker 1>Maybe I also come to this with my own sort

0:44:44.280 --> 0:44:46.440
<v Speaker 1>of like skin in the game. You know, my mom

0:44:46.480 --> 0:44:49.120
<v Speaker 1>and I we have great, great relationship and we've you know,

0:44:49.239 --> 0:44:52.200
<v Speaker 1>we've had big conversations throughout my adult life around the

0:44:52.200 --> 0:44:55.240
<v Speaker 1>things that I felt resentful for when I was younger.

0:44:55.520 --> 0:44:57.960
<v Speaker 1>My mom was way more receptive than I expected her

0:44:57.960 --> 0:45:00.600
<v Speaker 1>to be. She surprised me, and I think that's sometimes

0:45:00.760 --> 0:45:02.840
<v Speaker 1>that is a really nice outcome. It's not always the

0:45:02.880 --> 0:45:05.400
<v Speaker 1>outcome that we have as as you know kids of

0:45:05.440 --> 0:45:07.640
<v Speaker 1>our parents, but it can be the outcome, and I

0:45:07.640 --> 0:45:10.480
<v Speaker 1>think it's worth uncomfortable conversations for.

0:45:11.520 --> 0:45:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. My wrap of this is we don't know the situation,

0:45:16.480 --> 0:45:19.080
<v Speaker 2>but you do give them a little bit of grace.

0:45:19.480 --> 0:45:21.719
<v Speaker 2>I would do the reaching out and say, hey, do

0:45:21.760 --> 0:45:23.880
<v Speaker 2>you want to do you want to chat? I understand

0:45:23.960 --> 0:45:27.160
<v Speaker 2>this isn't going the way that we all had a hope,

0:45:27.520 --> 0:45:27.840
<v Speaker 2>but I know.

0:45:27.880 --> 0:45:29.520
<v Speaker 1>You mum, let's have a conversation about it.

0:45:29.600 --> 0:45:30.360
<v Speaker 2>Yes, good advice.

0:45:30.520 --> 0:45:34.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I know that that's a shitty

0:45:34.400 --> 0:45:36.440
<v Speaker 1>one and I'm sorry if I rained down hard on you.

0:45:36.480 --> 0:45:38.640
<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's the mum and me. I'm like, it might

0:45:38.719 --> 0:45:39.399
<v Speaker 1>be to your wedding mom.

0:45:39.400 --> 0:45:43.239
<v Speaker 2>Like my mom's upset that I haven't even shown in

0:45:43.280 --> 0:45:46.160
<v Speaker 2>my wedding dress. Like she's like, show me your dress.

0:45:46.239 --> 0:45:47.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I haven't said it you for the same thing.

0:45:47.680 --> 0:45:49.360
<v Speaker 2>I was like, not, mum, if you couldn't make it

0:45:49.400 --> 0:45:51.480
<v Speaker 2>down to see it, you can see it all the day.

0:45:52.360 --> 0:45:56.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm such a mole, all right, Last question question number four.

0:45:56.680 --> 0:45:58.960
<v Speaker 2>My mother in law plays a minimal role in our

0:45:59.040 --> 0:46:01.719
<v Speaker 2>daughter's life, but recently we have asked her to mind

0:46:01.719 --> 0:46:04.880
<v Speaker 2>our little one for one hour each week. When my

0:46:04.920 --> 0:46:07.279
<v Speaker 2>mother in law comes over, she's always calling me a

0:46:07.480 --> 0:46:11.360
<v Speaker 2>mean mom mum ye to my daughter like she's referring

0:46:11.360 --> 0:46:14.120
<v Speaker 2>to her as like, oh, that's your mean mum that

0:46:14.280 --> 0:46:18.440
<v Speaker 2>goets so bad, so bad. For example, we were heading

0:46:18.440 --> 0:46:20.440
<v Speaker 2>off for a big swim in the river, the furthest

0:46:20.480 --> 0:46:22.680
<v Speaker 2>I would have ever swam, and I have made myself

0:46:22.719 --> 0:46:25.080
<v Speaker 2>some food which was different to my daughter's dinner, as

0:46:25.120 --> 0:46:27.480
<v Speaker 2>I have a lot of allergies. Of course, my daughter

0:46:27.520 --> 0:46:29.280
<v Speaker 2>wanted to have some of mine, but I was trying

0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:32.080
<v Speaker 2>to encourage her to just eat her own food. In

0:46:32.239 --> 0:46:34.840
<v Speaker 2>steps the mother in law, who consistently calls me a

0:46:34.960 --> 0:46:37.960
<v Speaker 2>mean mum over and over again for not allowing my

0:46:38.040 --> 0:46:39.280
<v Speaker 2>daughter to eat my dinner.

0:46:39.920 --> 0:46:40.560
<v Speaker 1>A daughter is.

0:46:40.560 --> 0:46:43.839
<v Speaker 2>Eighteen months and will probably begin to understand the animosity

0:46:43.880 --> 0:46:46.520
<v Speaker 2>here soon. I always play nice and laugh it off.

0:46:46.920 --> 0:46:49.080
<v Speaker 2>She never does this when my husband is around, so

0:46:49.160 --> 0:46:51.160
<v Speaker 2>when I tell him about it, as much as he

0:46:51.239 --> 0:46:53.680
<v Speaker 2>believes me, it does make it tricky to bring up.

0:46:54.360 --> 0:46:57.359
<v Speaker 2>I have started saying things like, hey, that's not very

0:46:57.400 --> 0:47:01.879
<v Speaker 2>fair or kind, but she just continues any further suggestions.

0:47:01.960 --> 0:47:04.560
<v Speaker 2>My family lives four hours away, so I do really

0:47:04.560 --> 0:47:06.279
<v Speaker 2>need the one hour break, so I can go and

0:47:06.280 --> 0:47:08.719
<v Speaker 2>hang out with my husband and do some exercise.

0:47:08.280 --> 0:47:09.240
<v Speaker 1>And just have some space.

0:47:09.800 --> 0:47:12.200
<v Speaker 2>Our second baby is on the way, so I can't

0:47:12.200 --> 0:47:16.440
<v Speaker 2>afford to damage the relationship too much. It sounds horrible.

0:47:16.760 --> 0:47:20.560
<v Speaker 1>She sounds like like you always hear about like stepmother.

0:47:20.840 --> 0:47:23.520
<v Speaker 2>No, it sounds like you know when sometimes mother in

0:47:23.600 --> 0:47:26.440
<v Speaker 2>laws can get jealous of their son, Like you know

0:47:26.480 --> 0:47:29.000
<v Speaker 2>how there's that weird relationship. They get jealous like you're

0:47:29.040 --> 0:47:29.720
<v Speaker 2>the other woman.

0:47:29.920 --> 0:47:32.640
<v Speaker 3>It's like Freudian or something like that.

0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:34.200
<v Speaker 2>It's like that in penis.

0:47:34.400 --> 0:47:37.279
<v Speaker 1>Penis said the Freudian penis, and I was like, I

0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:38.640
<v Speaker 1>don't think that's the technical term.

0:47:40.239 --> 0:47:40.800
<v Speaker 2>That's funny.

0:47:40.800 --> 0:47:43.360
<v Speaker 1>It's definitely got to do that. Freudian penis was a

0:47:43.360 --> 0:47:47.000
<v Speaker 1>bit too penises, he wore. He absolutely had a fucking

0:47:47.080 --> 0:47:51.480
<v Speaker 1>mummy fetish. That guy Like, yeah, I think you've probably

0:47:51.520 --> 0:47:53.520
<v Speaker 1>been a little bit too soft on They're like, hey,

0:47:53.560 --> 0:47:55.239
<v Speaker 1>that's not very nice. We don't say these things. I

0:47:55.280 --> 0:47:57.280
<v Speaker 1>do think you need to have a slightly more direct

0:47:57.320 --> 0:48:00.960
<v Speaker 1>conversation with her. She's dissing you, yeah, and she It

0:48:01.000 --> 0:48:03.360
<v Speaker 1>doesn't have to be confrontational, it doesn't have to be unkind.

0:48:04.080 --> 0:48:05.960
<v Speaker 1>But I do think the next time it happens. Just

0:48:06.000 --> 0:48:08.719
<v Speaker 1>be like, hey, whatever her name is, it actually makes

0:48:08.760 --> 0:48:10.640
<v Speaker 1>me really upset when you call me a mean mom.

0:48:10.680 --> 0:48:12.480
<v Speaker 1>I know you're joking, and I know you don't mean it,

0:48:12.520 --> 0:48:14.960
<v Speaker 1>but could you stop saying that? It hurts my feelings

0:48:15.120 --> 0:48:16.799
<v Speaker 1>and I'm doing the best I can as a mum.

0:48:17.120 --> 0:48:18.960
<v Speaker 1>That's all you have to say. And if she continues

0:48:18.960 --> 0:48:21.080
<v Speaker 1>it after that, then you know that this is something

0:48:21.120 --> 0:48:23.680
<v Speaker 1>that's super pointed. She might have no concept that she's

0:48:23.680 --> 0:48:24.279
<v Speaker 1>even doing it.

0:48:24.960 --> 0:48:26.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh, she knows she's doing it.

0:48:26.080 --> 0:48:26.200
<v Speaker 5>I know.

0:48:26.200 --> 0:48:27.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt.

0:48:27.480 --> 0:48:28.960
<v Speaker 2>I also would love to give it the benefit of

0:48:28.960 --> 0:48:30.359
<v Speaker 2>the doubt. I always like to do that she knows

0:48:30.360 --> 0:48:32.560
<v Speaker 2>she's doing it, especially when you've brought it up and

0:48:32.920 --> 0:48:35.040
<v Speaker 2>she doesn't say she's joking, and she doubles down and

0:48:35.040 --> 0:48:37.720
<v Speaker 2>continues to say it. I understand you need to balance

0:48:37.760 --> 0:48:41.320
<v Speaker 2>this relationship because you need her and there's another baby coming,

0:48:41.440 --> 0:48:43.560
<v Speaker 2>so you definitely are going to need some help because

0:48:43.600 --> 0:48:47.080
<v Speaker 2>your family's not around. But also you do have to

0:48:47.080 --> 0:48:50.319
<v Speaker 2>get on top of it now because your children. I

0:48:50.320 --> 0:48:52.279
<v Speaker 2>don't need to tell you this, but they're vacuums. This

0:48:52.360 --> 0:48:54.360
<v Speaker 2>is what they're learning. If they're learning right now. The

0:48:54.400 --> 0:48:56.040
<v Speaker 2>first thing she's going to start saying is like, my

0:48:56.200 --> 0:48:58.919
<v Speaker 2>mum is mean, and there's like this subliminal message that's

0:48:58.920 --> 0:49:01.280
<v Speaker 2>put in. She's going to start to side with the grandma.

0:49:01.960 --> 0:49:03.880
<v Speaker 1>The grandma doesn't spend enough time with them to actually

0:49:03.880 --> 0:49:05.359
<v Speaker 1>be influential, you know, an.

0:49:05.280 --> 0:49:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Hour a week, Like, no, that's enough.

0:49:07.440 --> 0:49:10.879
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I think my look, I feel kind

0:49:10.880 --> 0:49:13.279
<v Speaker 1>of two ways about it. Partly, I'm like, I know

0:49:13.360 --> 0:49:16.760
<v Speaker 1>that you need her, and I know that it creates

0:49:16.800 --> 0:49:19.160
<v Speaker 1>relief for you having her to like help out for

0:49:19.200 --> 0:49:21.799
<v Speaker 1>that one hour a week. But if she keeps that up,

0:49:22.000 --> 0:49:24.239
<v Speaker 1>I would be thinking, all right, well, if that's what

0:49:24.280 --> 0:49:26.560
<v Speaker 1>she's saying in front of you, what is she saying

0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:29.240
<v Speaker 1>when you're not there? Because if you're gone for that hour,

0:49:29.400 --> 0:49:32.520
<v Speaker 1>that is unsupervised time with someone who is speaking really

0:49:32.560 --> 0:49:35.600
<v Speaker 1>negatively about you. Can you pay for a babysitter for

0:49:35.600 --> 0:49:37.719
<v Speaker 1>an hour? Is that a possibility? Is there anything else

0:49:37.719 --> 0:49:39.760
<v Speaker 1>that you can exhaust? I know that that costs money.

0:49:40.000 --> 0:49:42.880
<v Speaker 1>I know it may not be as convenient, but I

0:49:42.920 --> 0:49:45.359
<v Speaker 1>do think a conversation has to be had, and if

0:49:45.360 --> 0:49:48.759
<v Speaker 1>nothing changes, then a different solution needs to be met,

0:49:48.840 --> 0:49:53.000
<v Speaker 1>because you can't have someone who completely compromises your parenting,

0:49:53.120 --> 0:49:54.920
<v Speaker 1>questions your parenting, and puts you down in front of

0:49:54.960 --> 0:49:57.480
<v Speaker 1>your kids, just simply because you need like that one

0:49:57.520 --> 0:49:59.200
<v Speaker 1>hour break a week, Like there has to be a

0:49:59.200 --> 0:50:01.600
<v Speaker 1>different solution there, I think. And it's all right, not

0:50:01.640 --> 0:50:02.080
<v Speaker 1>even not right.

0:50:02.120 --> 0:50:03.960
<v Speaker 2>But if it's a one off, like you don't give

0:50:04.000 --> 0:50:05.960
<v Speaker 2>your child an ice cream and she's like, oh, mommy's

0:50:06.000 --> 0:50:08.680
<v Speaker 2>being mean, come here. But when it's like constant every

0:50:08.719 --> 0:50:10.839
<v Speaker 2>decision or every bit of discipline that you were doing

0:50:10.880 --> 0:50:15.120
<v Speaker 2>on your daughter, yeah, and then the default is to say, oh,

0:50:15.120 --> 0:50:18.920
<v Speaker 2>she's mean because she's disciplining you, but like presenting herself

0:50:18.960 --> 0:50:22.200
<v Speaker 2>as like the warm grandma, the safe place, like there

0:50:22.320 --> 0:50:25.120
<v Speaker 2>is a separation and a divide. It seems like we're

0:50:25.120 --> 0:50:27.920
<v Speaker 2>being dramatic, but that kind of stuff develops over time,

0:50:28.040 --> 0:50:31.479
<v Speaker 2>but it also becomes more evident. The thing is, you've

0:50:31.640 --> 0:50:34.359
<v Speaker 2>noticed that she has a change of behavior when she's

0:50:34.400 --> 0:50:37.000
<v Speaker 2>around your husband verse when it's just the two of

0:50:37.000 --> 0:50:39.800
<v Speaker 2>you on your own, And I think that that's very telling.

0:50:39.880 --> 0:50:41.759
<v Speaker 2>So if you have noticed that and it's something that

0:50:41.800 --> 0:50:45.640
<v Speaker 2>you really do see her behavior shift, I honestly think, uh,

0:50:46.160 --> 0:50:49.239
<v Speaker 2>not confrontational, don't accuse her of it, just the next

0:50:49.239 --> 0:50:51.600
<v Speaker 2>time she does say it and you catch it instead

0:50:51.600 --> 0:50:54.160
<v Speaker 2>of being like, oh, that's not nice, don't talk to

0:50:54.200 --> 0:50:55.920
<v Speaker 2>her in a way that you would talk to your daughter,

0:50:56.080 --> 0:50:58.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, like you don't need to play into that

0:50:58.120 --> 0:51:01.799
<v Speaker 2>kind of language. I genuinely think she will respond well

0:51:01.840 --> 0:51:04.320
<v Speaker 2>to that, and if she doesn't, then she's a psychopath

0:51:04.320 --> 0:51:06.760
<v Speaker 2>analysis like, no one can respond badly to that unless

0:51:06.760 --> 0:51:09.400
<v Speaker 2>they're like have some sort of personality disorder, yeah, or

0:51:09.400 --> 0:51:12.640
<v Speaker 2>even dialogue like, I'm worried she's going to start believing you,

0:51:12.960 --> 0:51:15.320
<v Speaker 2>Like that's a way of saying, hey, I know you're joking.

0:51:15.320 --> 0:51:17.520
<v Speaker 2>And I was to throw away comment, but she's at

0:51:17.520 --> 0:51:19.160
<v Speaker 2>the age now where she's learning a lot, and I'm

0:51:19.160 --> 0:51:20.839
<v Speaker 2>worried that she's going to believe you, and I don't

0:51:20.840 --> 0:51:23.080
<v Speaker 2>want her to associate me with being a mean.

0:51:23.040 --> 0:51:25.960
<v Speaker 1>Mum or even even like on that brit Not so

0:51:26.080 --> 0:51:28.600
<v Speaker 1>much that she's going to believe you, But you are

0:51:28.640 --> 0:51:31.560
<v Speaker 1>making it okay for her to say it because you're

0:51:31.640 --> 0:51:34.799
<v Speaker 1>saying it so then, and you're calling me names and

0:51:34.880 --> 0:51:36.960
<v Speaker 1>we don't call people names, right like, you're making it

0:51:37.040 --> 0:51:40.360
<v Speaker 1>okay for when she has more, you know, vocabulary, and

0:51:40.400 --> 0:51:43.000
<v Speaker 1>she has more words her reaction to me when I

0:51:43.040 --> 0:51:44.520
<v Speaker 1>say no to her, is she's going to say you're

0:51:44.520 --> 0:51:46.600
<v Speaker 1>a mean mum. That's what she's going to say back

0:51:46.640 --> 0:51:49.320
<v Speaker 1>to you, because they powrot everything. So yeah, I absolutely

0:51:49.320 --> 0:51:51.040
<v Speaker 1>would be getting on top of that, and that has

0:51:51.120 --> 0:51:51.920
<v Speaker 1>to change.

0:51:52.400 --> 0:51:55.480
<v Speaker 2>So the husband things that the alarm for me, it's

0:51:55.520 --> 0:51:57.520
<v Speaker 2>like when she's not doing it in front of the husband,

0:51:57.520 --> 0:51:59.920
<v Speaker 2>that's also a choice, which means it's not just throw

0:52:00.320 --> 0:52:03.640
<v Speaker 2>joke comments. And has she ever said that to your

0:52:03.719 --> 0:52:06.920
<v Speaker 2>husband when he has disciplined her. Has she ever said like, oh,

0:52:07.040 --> 0:52:08.920
<v Speaker 2>daddy's so mean? Because probably not.

0:52:09.280 --> 0:52:12.840
<v Speaker 1>That weird daddy? Hey, do you know what I would

0:52:12.840 --> 0:52:14.680
<v Speaker 1>love to talk about one day? We can talk about it,

0:52:14.719 --> 0:52:18.000
<v Speaker 1>not now because we don't have time. But is it

0:52:18.200 --> 0:52:22.000
<v Speaker 1>weird to get into the habit of calling your partner daddy?

0:52:22.400 --> 0:52:24.399
<v Speaker 1>So like daddy because you're referring to them as dad

0:52:24.440 --> 0:52:26.440
<v Speaker 1>for the kids, but then they just become daddy or

0:52:26.480 --> 0:52:28.719
<v Speaker 1>you become mummy. No, lots of people do that, but

0:52:28.760 --> 0:52:31.360
<v Speaker 1>it becomes very unsexual, right, and so then it's like

0:52:31.400 --> 0:52:33.160
<v Speaker 1>you're no longer calling them by their name.

0:52:33.480 --> 0:52:35.799
<v Speaker 2>Do you use daddy sexually? No?

0:52:35.880 --> 0:52:38.680
<v Speaker 1>It's not about so that. Okay, it's actually a good

0:52:38.760 --> 0:52:40.480
<v Speaker 1>unpack and it might be something we do in a

0:52:40.480 --> 0:52:44.279
<v Speaker 1>different episode. It's a really interesting sex ologists podcast. I'll

0:52:44.280 --> 0:52:45.759
<v Speaker 1>find it and i'll give you guys a details for

0:52:45.800 --> 0:52:49.279
<v Speaker 1>it around how the lack of desire grows from how

0:52:49.320 --> 0:52:52.560
<v Speaker 1>you refer to your partner in like a childlike way.

0:52:52.960 --> 0:52:55.000
<v Speaker 1>So you're no longer speaking to them in a way

0:52:55.040 --> 0:52:58.080
<v Speaker 1>that you would speak to them as your husband or spouse.

0:52:57.800 --> 0:52:58.720
<v Speaker 2>Because you're sexual.

0:52:58.840 --> 0:53:01.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're speaking to them as though they are also

0:53:01.840 --> 0:53:03.480
<v Speaker 1>the daddy of your chime. Do you know what I mean?

0:53:03.480 --> 0:53:07.120
<v Speaker 1>It's like creates this real separation in desire. Yeah. And

0:53:07.200 --> 0:53:08.640
<v Speaker 1>I was listening to it recently and I was like,

0:53:08.640 --> 0:53:10.399
<v Speaker 1>I don't think i've called Matt and Matt in like

0:53:10.680 --> 0:53:13.359
<v Speaker 1>two years. I only call him daddy in a non

0:53:13.400 --> 0:53:13.919
<v Speaker 1>sexy way.

0:53:13.960 --> 0:53:16.399
<v Speaker 2>But did you ever That's that's a genuine question because

0:53:16.400 --> 0:53:19.360
<v Speaker 2>it's not for me. Did you are you a daddy person?

0:53:19.480 --> 0:53:19.520
<v Speaker 5>No?

0:53:19.680 --> 0:53:21.200
<v Speaker 1>Of course I didn't call him daddy, but I called

0:53:21.280 --> 0:53:23.439
<v Speaker 1>him Matt. And at least Matt makes him a man,

0:53:23.560 --> 0:53:25.399
<v Speaker 1>and daddy makes him a daddy, you know what I mean,

0:53:25.440 --> 0:53:27.920
<v Speaker 1>Like his like his daddy and going downs daddy. It's

0:53:28.000 --> 0:53:29.960
<v Speaker 1>just acutifies him I'm.

0:53:29.800 --> 0:53:33.880
<v Speaker 3>Looking at this conversation if the answer is still to

0:53:33.960 --> 0:53:36.439
<v Speaker 3>not use sexualized language in front of the children, because

0:53:36.480 --> 0:53:39.320
<v Speaker 3>that's fucking weird and we're going back into Freud territory.

0:53:39.480 --> 0:53:43.360
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm saying, I'm genuinely saying when you're saying, you

0:53:43.360 --> 0:53:45.720
<v Speaker 2>call him daddy, so it's not sexual anymore, I'm saying,

0:53:45.880 --> 0:53:47.600
<v Speaker 2>was it ever sexual for you? Was that a term

0:53:47.640 --> 0:53:49.520
<v Speaker 2>that you was daddy? A term that you guys use,

0:53:49.560 --> 0:53:51.319
<v Speaker 2>That's what I'm saying. Wasn't it something you use that

0:53:51.360 --> 0:53:52.520
<v Speaker 2>it's changed the meaning.

0:53:52.600 --> 0:53:54.759
<v Speaker 1>I think you misunderstand what I'm saying. I don't mean

0:53:54.800 --> 0:53:58.240
<v Speaker 1>that the term daddy is the term that is sexualized.

0:53:58.560 --> 0:54:00.680
<v Speaker 1>What you're doing is if I always referred to you

0:54:00.760 --> 0:54:03.839
<v Speaker 1>as mummy, I'm no longer calling you brit I am

0:54:03.880 --> 0:54:07.560
<v Speaker 1>like infantizing you as like mummy, And so it builds

0:54:07.600 --> 0:54:10.440
<v Speaker 1>this lack of desire in you because you're no longer

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:13.200
<v Speaker 1>referring to your partner as the person that they are,

0:54:13.200 --> 0:54:15.440
<v Speaker 1>as the identity that they are, the human that they are.

0:54:15.800 --> 0:54:18.319
<v Speaker 1>They are only the role of mummy or daddy, right,

0:54:18.360 --> 0:54:20.880
<v Speaker 1>And there's nothing sexy about being a mummy or a daddy,

0:54:20.920 --> 0:54:24.439
<v Speaker 1>is what I'm saying right, my children.

0:54:24.719 --> 0:54:25.920
<v Speaker 4>Well, and also yeah, I get it.

0:54:26.000 --> 0:54:26.640
<v Speaker 2>I get yeah.

0:54:26.680 --> 0:54:29.279
<v Speaker 1>So it's a very interesting unpack. And I listened to

0:54:29.360 --> 0:54:32.000
<v Speaker 1>this podcast on it and I was like, yeah, like

0:54:32.400 --> 0:54:35.080
<v Speaker 1>fucking ding ding ding, Like you really do slip into

0:54:35.080 --> 0:54:38.279
<v Speaker 1>these roles in parenting where you're no longer seeing each

0:54:38.320 --> 0:54:40.920
<v Speaker 1>other as like your desirable partner, You're just seeing them

0:54:40.960 --> 0:54:42.600
<v Speaker 1>as like the dad of your kids or the mom

0:54:42.600 --> 0:54:43.240
<v Speaker 1>of your kids.

0:54:43.360 --> 0:54:43.839
<v Speaker 2>Do you know what?

0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:45.960
<v Speaker 3>We have a sexologist, you guys have got a chat

0:54:45.960 --> 0:54:49.960
<v Speaker 3>with her coming up quite soon. Maybe we can ask her.

0:54:50.080 --> 0:54:52.600
<v Speaker 1>We can have daddy chat, call me daddy, daddy play

0:54:52.800 --> 0:54:54.680
<v Speaker 1>all right. Well that's it from us, guys. If you

0:54:54.760 --> 0:54:57.880
<v Speaker 1>loved it the episode, go leave a review, subscribe, and

0:54:58.000 --> 0:55:02.560
<v Speaker 1>also watch us on YouTube tube because we're there every week.

0:55:02.640 --> 0:55:06.960
<v Speaker 1>And also, lastly, but very importantly, please go and vote

0:55:07.000 --> 0:55:09.239
<v Speaker 1>for Matt and the I'm a Celebrity Jungle because people

0:55:09.280 --> 0:55:11.200
<v Speaker 1>are getting eliminated left right and send her now. We've

0:55:11.200 --> 0:55:12.120
<v Speaker 1>got to save his arts.

0:55:12.200 --> 0:55:13.160
<v Speaker 2>He's not going nowhere.

0:55:13.200 --> 0:55:15.640
<v Speaker 1>He did so well. He literally ate an asshole, which

0:55:15.640 --> 0:55:17.840
<v Speaker 1>I've been joking about, but he got his asshole.

0:55:18.040 --> 0:55:19.319
<v Speaker 2>We manifested that.

0:55:19.640 --> 0:55:20.280
<v Speaker 1>Last week.

0:55:20.680 --> 0:55:23.239
<v Speaker 2>We manifested the asshole not only the eating challenge, but

0:55:23.320 --> 0:55:23.919
<v Speaker 2>like the butt.

0:55:24.320 --> 0:55:26.839
<v Speaker 1>I've been manifesting the anus since, like the Get Go.

0:55:26.960 --> 0:55:28.759
<v Speaker 2>And You Will for the TV show, Well, I do

0:55:28.840 --> 0:55:30.799
<v Speaker 2>love it when Maddie's ass If you back up into

0:55:30.880 --> 0:55:33.360
<v Speaker 2>himp shit, that's trying to put a subliminal message in

0:55:33.400 --> 0:55:34.520
<v Speaker 2>just bending over in the kitchen.

0:55:34.600 --> 0:55:38.160
<v Speaker 3>You write the headlines yourself, you are only.

0:55:38.200 --> 0:55:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Laura Burns says she does love it when her husband

0:55:40.719 --> 0:55:42.880
<v Speaker 1>eats us mine preferably.

0:55:42.520 --> 0:55:43.880
<v Speaker 4>Anyway, that's different mask guys.

0:55:44.160 --> 0:55:46.600
<v Speaker 2>You know the drill tea mumtayd dat te don Tee,

0:55:46.640 --> 0:55:49.280
<v Speaker 2>Friends and shad A love because we love love