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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers.

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Speaker 3: Now. I'm a full time single mum to six kids working.

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Speaker 3: I don't have a teaching degree, but I have a

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Speaker 3: mum degree. I know them the best and I love

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Speaker 3: them the most. Listening to Mummy. That makes me the

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Speaker 3: best person to be beside them and guide them through life.

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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 4: It's doctor Justin Colson, the parenting expert on prudal Guidance,

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Speaker 4: shell Nind's reality TV show about parenting styles, and the

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Speaker 4: founder of Happy Families dot com dot You Kylie, mum

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Speaker 4: to our six daughters and my wife and podcast partner,

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Speaker 4: Hey Kylie. Today pretty much the last time we're going

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Speaker 4: to be talking about parental guidance. Maybe a quick wrap

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Speaker 4: up tomorrow. But we've talked to Andrew Mirriam, We've talked

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Speaker 4: to Breton Tony, We've talked to Penny and Daniel. We've

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Speaker 4: talked to Kevin and Debbie, we talked to Alison Langdon.

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Speaker 1: We've had some great convers over the last week.

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Speaker 4: And when I'm watching what's been happening on social media,

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Speaker 4: not that I'm actually watching it too closely, I'm trying

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Speaker 4: to stay away from it. But as I've watched the

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Speaker 4: conversations and heard people talking, the one parent who keeps

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Speaker 4: on coming up again and again but didn't actually make

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Speaker 4: it into that final four is Deb the homeschool mum.

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Speaker 4: Mum to six kids.

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Speaker 2: I think you're going to like just get pushed to

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Speaker 2: the side. This conversation is going to be two mums

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Speaker 2: with lots of kids having a really good conversation.

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Speaker 4: Can you imagine if we got together with Deb for

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Speaker 4: a barbecue the be twelve kids running around.

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Speaker 1: That's just another day in our house.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it kind of feels like it anyway, Deb the

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Speaker 4: homeschool Mum, it's so nice to be able to talk

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Speaker 4: to you today. Thanks so much for joining us on

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Speaker 4: the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 3: Thanks so much, Justin and Kiley, it's a pleasure to

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Speaker 3: chat with you.

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Speaker 2: Deb. People are fascinated with homeschooling, and you have started

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Speaker 2: a conversation around the country with parents.

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Speaker 1: Who are kind of going, is this something that I

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Speaker 1: could do?

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Speaker 4: But it's homeschooling on steroids right?

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, six children and you've done it from

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Speaker 2: the very beginning. What made you decide to go with homeschooling.

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Speaker 3: It really was the mother heart and the connection that

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Speaker 3: I had with my first little one, Jess, and she

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Speaker 3: was about three and my friends starting to look at

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Speaker 3: booking them into schools, and I just thought, that's so

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Speaker 3: fear and I've got so much more mothering and loving

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Speaker 3: to do on this child. I'm not ready to hand

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Speaker 3: her over to a stranger in like, you know. Literally

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Speaker 3: a few years time and then randomly a friend said, well,

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Speaker 3: what don't your homeschool like I do? You love being

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Speaker 3: around your kids. You're not eager to get rid of them.

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Speaker 3: They've never been to childcare or they were always in

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Speaker 3: my care. And that set me off on a research journey,

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Speaker 3: and here I am twelve years later. The little pressures

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Speaker 3: that I may feel with being responsible for their education

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Speaker 3: is still less than how I would juggle five six

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Speaker 3: kids going to school.

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Speaker 4: All right, A, right, So I've got to jump in

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Speaker 4: here for a sec because there is that whole thing

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Speaker 4: where you get six hours of piece and quiet in

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Speaker 4: the middle of the day. I'm just putting it out there.

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Speaker 4: As a couple, Kylie and I have toyed with homeschool

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Speaker 4: as an option on and off for probably the last

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Speaker 4: ten or twelve years and even I mean watching the

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Speaker 4: show and watching what you do, we started the conversation again,

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Speaker 4: and we've got one child in particular who we think

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Speaker 4: would probably really benefit from having a homeschool situation. But

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Speaker 4: what that does is that, well, one of the things

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Speaker 4: that we're struggling with is it really interferes with the

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Speaker 4: capacity that we have, or specifically Kylie, because unfortunately my

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Speaker 4: work hours and the fact that I've got to provide

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Speaker 4: for the family mean that I have to be inflexible

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Speaker 4: and say no, if we homeschool, it actually is going

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Speaker 4: to be ninety nine percent Kylie. Kylie kind of needs

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Speaker 4: that six hours in the middle of the day to

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Speaker 4: do so many other things that we value, like keeping

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Speaker 4: the house clean, but also but also doing things that

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Speaker 4: are really important to her. So how do you navigate

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Speaker 4: that they juggle it all? How do you juggle it

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Speaker 4: all because stuff's still going to happen and the kids

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Speaker 4: are now underfoot, always.

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Speaker 3: There, twenty four to seven. That is correct. That's where

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Speaker 3: I say it's different in obviously in the last few

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Speaker 3: years comparison with COVID and people doing school at home,

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Speaker 3: Homeschooling is a way of life. So it has always

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Speaker 3: been that for me. I've never not been without my children,

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Speaker 3: so I've just my life has grown around them. And

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Speaker 3: you have to be deliberate in finding those moments for

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Speaker 3: yourself or what you need to do. But equally, that's

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Speaker 3: where children become part of that everyday routine of housework

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Speaker 3: and keeping the family functioning.

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Speaker 4: Do they winge though I don't want to clean milm.

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Speaker 4: Do you get to that point where you're like, seriously,

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Speaker 4: I'm going to send you to school unless you start

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Speaker 4: doing some housework.

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Speaker 3: They're not perfect, And that is the first thing I

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Speaker 3: always want to say, they're kids, and kids are kids

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Speaker 3: as much as I put my hand up too, and

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Speaker 3: I just go, yeah, I don't want to either, and

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Speaker 3: I give myself that permission that day.

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Speaker 1: What would you say the hardest thing about homeschooling is.

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Speaker 3: Deb Definitely since separating and now being a single mum.

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Speaker 3: So pre that I was you Kylie, I was a

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Speaker 3: stay at home mum. All I had to do was

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Speaker 3: look after the house, the children. That was pretty much it.

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Speaker 4: Still I was going to say, you say all I

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Speaker 4: had to do, but I know that when Kylie's away out,

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Speaker 4: all I have to do is look after the house,

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Speaker 4: the kids, the meals, the ironing, the washing them and

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Speaker 4: it's like wow, like there is no especially with six kids,

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Speaker 4: there is not enough time in the day to just

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Speaker 4: do that stuff. So but anyway, I didn't interrupt.

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Speaker 3: No, I agree with you, I say, I just had

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Speaker 3: to do that because now I add the bread miner

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Speaker 3: on top of my role. So that has been in

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Speaker 3: the last twelve months particularly very challenging to juggle working

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Speaker 3: out of the home. I work in the home, some

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Speaker 3: of my businesses I run from home, and then my

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Speaker 3: other jobs I'm working out of the home. So that

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Speaker 3: that is definitely tough.

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Speaker 4: After the break, we're going to find out more about

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Speaker 4: Deb's experience on parental guidance, the big lessons learned, the

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Speaker 4: things that the kids loved and hated about the show,

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Speaker 4: and a couple of other little questions that we've got.

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Speaker 4: It's the Happy Families Podcast with Justin and Kylie.

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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.

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Speaker 5: Our Screens Creating Tension at Home, Tweens, Teens and Screens

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Speaker 5: is a webinar to guide families to healthy, safe superscreen solutions.

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Speaker 5: Bye today at happyfamilies dot com dot au slash shop.

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Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

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Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers now, and today we

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Speaker 2: are talking with homeschooling mum deb extraordinaire.

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Speaker 1: Unbelievable.

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Speaker 2: What you're doing six children at home, schooling them and

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Speaker 2: doing it alone.

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Speaker 1: That's a really big task.

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Speaker 4: In the show, for the most part, it looked like

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Speaker 4: you've got it pretty well together, and even talking to

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Speaker 4: you about it now, it sounds like, with clear intention,

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Speaker 4: with clear focus, you really do know exactly why you're

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Speaker 4: doing what you're doing, and it's obviously working for you.

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Speaker 4: I'm really curious my children, our children, sorry, our children,

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Speaker 4: Kylie and my children. As we're watching the show, they

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Speaker 4: made a couple of comments about your family specifically, they said,

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Speaker 4: Dep's kids really seem to get along, don't they, And

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Speaker 4: we said, yes, can you be more like that?

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Speaker 3: Please?

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Speaker 4: Do they actually get along that well? Or do they

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Speaker 4: still have their moments?

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Speaker 3: Again, they're certainly not perfect, and we're all individuals and

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Speaker 3: we have those days where you're tired and they're grumbly

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Speaker 3: with each other, but we share life every day and

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Speaker 3: still means that we can rub each other the wrong way.

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Speaker 3: Do not get me wrong, please, total normal family. It

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Speaker 3: is a different way of life.

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Speaker 2: You said on the show, Dev that you felt like

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Speaker 2: a failure when Jess was struggling to give up her screen.

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Speaker 2: Can you take us into that a little bit more

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Speaker 2: and what that experience was like for you.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that was real, that moment and my toughest but

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Speaker 3: singularly my best moment on the show. Just thinking that

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Speaker 3: we'd had enough discussions and conversations and modeling around technology

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Speaker 3: that it wasn't this big thing in their life or

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Speaker 3: the most important thing that they couldn't live without was

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Speaker 3: really confronting. To see that it was a pushback and

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Speaker 3: to say, not even for twenty four hours, that she

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Speaker 3: wasn't willing to negotiate that challenge. It was definitely more

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Speaker 3: that it was thrown at them, which is obviously what

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Speaker 3: the challenge was meant to do. But for me to

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Speaker 3: realize truly how they connect in that way and Doctor,

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Speaker 3: justin your comments about the three c's connection, creation and contumption,

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Speaker 3: that really helped. Obviously we won't privy to those comments

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Speaker 3: until the show in I heard that, but really that

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Speaker 3: helped me understand it to another level. I suppose a

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Speaker 3: part of my feeling like a failure was also because

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Speaker 3: our family values are about giving everything a goat. That's

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Speaker 3: how I've always parented them that let's not say no

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Speaker 3: to anything that's not within the bounds of us being harmed.

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Speaker 3: Let's just give life a goat, and if we don't

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Speaker 3: succeed or if it's not what we like, then we know.

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Speaker 3: But you can't make a decision or you don't know

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Speaker 3: unless you've tried. So that was also confronting that at

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Speaker 3: our core family value of we give everything a go

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Speaker 3: she wasn't prepared to give it a go I did

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Speaker 3: give her also post off camera. I gave her that

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Speaker 3: full decision to say, Okay, you've opted into the challenge

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Speaker 3: now because I've required you to, but you now have

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Speaker 3: the power to opped out of the challenge. So the

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Speaker 3: phone is there, You're welcome to go and take it

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Speaker 3: and use it, and you don't have to participate in

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Speaker 3: this twenty four hours. And she chose not to. She

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Speaker 3: chose to dive in and participate, and she was successful.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome.

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Speaker 2: I think you know, that was probably one of the

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Speaker 2: most real moments that we saw, and it was very raw,

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Speaker 2: and I think one of the reasons that people have

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Speaker 2: resonated so well with you. Deb is just that acknowledgment

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Speaker 2: because we all have those moments where we just feel, well,

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Speaker 2: oh yeah, we are an absolute failure. We've had the

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Speaker 2: conversations with you know, so we've taught and instructed and

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Speaker 2: inducted for so many years, and we find ourselves in

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Speaker 2: this place where our kids have their own minds and

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Speaker 2: they make their own choices, and you kind of go.

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Speaker 1: What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong?

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Speaker 2: So I really I really appreciated that as a mum

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Speaker 2: sitting there kind of just going yep, I'm there with

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Speaker 2: you and I feel that. But when you think about

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Speaker 2: the experiences that you had as a family as a whole,

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Speaker 2: you know, going into a show like this so national

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Speaker 2: TV and having your parenting critiqued, how did it affect

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Speaker 2: your family?

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Speaker 3: See, I don't see it as brave at all. That

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Speaker 3: is the word that's thrown at me a lot. We

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Speaker 3: decided as a family to do this, not knowing that

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Speaker 3: it was a competition at all. We thought it would

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Speaker 3: be some sort of documentary style. We were aware that

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Speaker 3: there were challenges involved, but clearly I thought they have

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Speaker 3: to give us something to do, to create a little

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Speaker 3: bit of entertainment.

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Speaker 4: In fairness, we very much downplayed the competition element though

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Speaker 4: it was never really about the competition, even the fact

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Speaker 4: that nobody even knew that there was a holiday on

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Speaker 4: offer until the very last day. I mean, we're really

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Speaker 4: downplayed the competition. But anyway, I done any a truth.

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Speaker 3: Look, we got an amazing experience. We got to do

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Speaker 3: some challenges and different experiences that as a single mum,

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Speaker 3: like going for fine dining. I know that wasn't shown,

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Speaker 3: but we got to go to a fine dining restaurant

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Speaker 3: that is not something that happens in my world. There's

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Speaker 3: not the finances for that. Yeah, we got so much

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Speaker 3: out of it.

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Speaker 1: What would you say your biggest learnings were.

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Speaker 3: Oh, definitely the moment with Jess that is going to

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Speaker 3: create long lasting impact for the rest of the children

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Speaker 3: coming because I just had such an understanding and empathy

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Speaker 3: now with my teens that will be coming through if

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Speaker 3: they're having those moments of struggling to release a little

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Speaker 3: bit from technology. Just to understand really where she came

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Speaker 3: from that conversation that night sitting on my bed, and

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Speaker 3: what she shared is priceless and it wasn't captured and

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Speaker 3: that's even what makes it even more perfect. Definitely, that

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Speaker 3: moment is one of the biggest learning purfs I've had

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Speaker 3: in parenting in quite a few years.

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Speaker 4: I love it, Deb, We really appreciate you having chat

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Speaker 4: with this. One last question from me. Have you gone

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Speaker 4: out and bought a hard cover UbD or efodex so

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Speaker 4: the kids can navigate you from the back seat from

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Speaker 4: now on rather than using Google?

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Speaker 3: I haven't, and I keep saying that I'm going to so.

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Speaker 4: Many homeschool lessons right there. Just drive around, drive around

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Speaker 4: the city.

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Speaker 1: They're going to figure it out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that was a real highlight.

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Speaker 5: I loved.

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Speaker 4: I loved watching watching that activity. An absolute delight to

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Speaker 4: be able to talk with you. Thank you for sharing

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Speaker 4: this part of your life with us. We appreciate it

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Speaker 4: so much.

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Speaker 3: You're very welcome.

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Speaker 4: It's deb Our homeschool from Parental Guidance on Channel nine

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Speaker 4: one's reality family TV show, The Happy Families. Podcast is

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Speaker 4: produced by Justin ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is

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Speaker 4: our executive producer. Oh Black Friday Sale, it's on right now.

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Speaker 4: I just I haven't mentioned it on the podcast, but

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Speaker 4: I'm going to take just a couple of seconds to

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Speaker 4: mention the Black Friday Sale is on. We've got sales

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Speaker 4: happening at Happy Families dot com dot U that we

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Speaker 4: never ever have. It's the only time of the year

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Speaker 4: where we have these kinds of sales. Let me tell

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Speaker 4: you really quickly what we've got. We've got thirty percent

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Speaker 4: off the premium Happy Families membership. We never do this.

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Speaker 4: It's the best price it.

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Speaker 2: Will ever be.

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Speaker 4: Thirty percent off the premium Happy Families membership, fifty percent

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Speaker 4: off all digital products, thirty percent off all of our

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Speaker 4: summit recordings, The Misconnection to Someone and the Little People

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Speaker 4: Big Feelings Summit, and twenty five percent off all books

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Speaker 4: not including the bundles. They're all at Happy Families dot

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Speaker 4: com dot AU. Just jump onto the Black Friday Sale.

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Speaker 4: We would be thrilled to be able to help your

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Speaker 4: family to be happier.

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Speaker 3: He