WEBVTT - MINI: Ladybug Part 2 🐕‍🦺

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<v Speaker 1>Is it just me the rude shocks of young adulthood.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me just say, for those wanting a Ladybug update,

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<v Speaker 2>oh yes, yes, yes, yes, last week's episode context just

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<v Speaker 2>in case people weren't listening last week. I've decided to

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<v Speaker 2>embark on a dog walking era because I want to

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<v Speaker 2>get more steps in my day. B I get to

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<v Speaker 2>spend time with dogs. I love dogs, and see I

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<v Speaker 2>get to help someone out. Yeah, lighten the load. So

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<v Speaker 2>tick tick tick. I put a listing on some dog

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<v Speaker 2>walkers website. I went a couple of months no bites,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I got my first customer inquiry last week.

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<v Speaker 1>Yep.

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<v Speaker 2>And where we left off last week was that I

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<v Speaker 2>was going to do my first meet and greet with

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<v Speaker 2>Ladybug to make sure I'm a good fit before they

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<v Speaker 2>give me the dog walking gig.

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<v Speaker 1>And Ladybug is a black and white French bulldog.

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<v Speaker 2>I got that wrong. Actually it's not a French bulldog,

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<v Speaker 2>but similar enough. Okay, it's actually a Stafford Sheer Terrier.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah close, yeah much NICs A little black dog.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, a very cute, lovely looking dog, but also so

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<v Speaker 2>packs a punch.

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<v Speaker 1>A kind of dog that your mum would be scared of.

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<v Speaker 2>Probably yeah, okay, but she was absolutely adorable. I went

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<v Speaker 2>along to this meet and.

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<v Speaker 1>Grow You've met, You've met Lady Bug.

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<v Speaker 2>I told you that was happening.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, but I just didn't think you'd actually do it.

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<v Speaker 2>Of course I would do it. I was so excited.

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<v Speaker 2>I was really really looking forward to this. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I want this, gick. I just know that Ladybug and

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<v Speaker 2>I are going to get along so well, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was really really excited. It just warmed my heart the

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<v Speaker 2>thought of having a cute little relationship with someone else's

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<v Speaker 2>dog because I can't take on my own. And so

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<v Speaker 2>I went along to the meet and greet. It wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>a gay couple, by the way, God damn it, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>and they were waiting for me out the front. The

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<v Speaker 2>owner little Ladybug on a leash, and I say, hello,

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<v Speaker 2>three doy, who you got here? Ladybug, so excited, responds

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<v Speaker 2>to that sort of tone of voice where I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>oh no, ken, oh yeah, we're good. Girl, jumps up,

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<v Speaker 2>has her pause on my knees, getting a good scratch in.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, you're a beautiful girl, aren't you. And

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<v Speaker 2>then I said, ah, hi, by the way to the owner,

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<v Speaker 2>I've just given this dog all the attention. And then

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<v Speaker 2>the owner pulls out some dog treats from his pocket

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<v Speaker 2>and starts showing off what ladybug can do. Fucking sit, stay,

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<v Speaker 2>roll over all that, and I'm there giving it my all,

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<v Speaker 2>being like, oh, you're such a good girl, good gil ladyback,

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<v Speaker 2>Oh aren't you beautiful? And then the owner says to me,

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<v Speaker 2>why don't you try and give her a treat? Right,

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<v Speaker 2>And that's when fucking ladybug turned No way, I could

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<v Speaker 2>have been killed.

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<v Speaker 1>Are you seriously or you seriously?

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<v Speaker 2>Look look at this finger. Ladybug did that a little

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<v Speaker 2>It's healed very nice, and it was. She fucking bit

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<v Speaker 2>me as soon as I had the treats in my hand.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like and like attacked me. Wait she ground, growled, barked,

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<v Speaker 2>bit everything.

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<v Speaker 1>What do the owners did? You a freak out?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, he was like trying to pull her back on

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<v Speaker 2>the leash, but because she's quite a hefty dog, that's

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<v Speaker 2>what I mean. She's smaller but packs of punch. He

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<v Speaker 2>was like pulling the lead being like, no, come on, ladybug,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm just stepping back, going oh god, what's going on,

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<v Speaker 2>and then he goes try again, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>do I have to so again put the little treat

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<v Speaker 2>near her mouth? I fucking attacks my hand again, and

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<v Speaker 2>I was like.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh god, and this isn't how Ladybug reacted when the

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<v Speaker 1>owner gave the treat.

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<v Speaker 2>No, not at all, and so we just kind of thought, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>let's stop trying that now. We won't try that again.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I spent the next half hour walking around

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<v Speaker 2>the block multiple times with the owner and Ladybug. She

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<v Speaker 2>didn't look at me once. She only had eyes for

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<v Speaker 2>the owner every time I spoke to her in that

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<v Speaker 2>fucking voice, Hi, sweetie, liked you. She just didn't even

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<v Speaker 2>acknowledge me. Oh my god, you failed, apparently because I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't even have to flag with him that I wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>going to be available. I've been rejected. Oh no, that's hard.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been knocked back.

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<v Speaker 1>That's really I shouldn't laugh. I'm not laughing at you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm laughing at that's deficits you. It's the dog.

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<v Speaker 2>The doors didn't choose you. I was just thinking in

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<v Speaker 2>the lead up, what would I have to do to

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<v Speaker 2>fuck up this meet and greet with a dog If

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<v Speaker 2>I come and kick it. Sure, I'm like, what would

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<v Speaker 2>I have to do to fuck this up? But then

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<v Speaker 2>they rejected me because the dog didn't fucking like me. Did.

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<v Speaker 1>They let down.

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<v Speaker 2>It was very much like, oh, we're just gonna We're

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<v Speaker 2>not gonna proceed this time, but if we ever need

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<v Speaker 2>a dog worker again, we'll let you know, be on

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<v Speaker 2>this three week stint. And so I should have been

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<v Speaker 2>walking later back this morning, but I was rejected.

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<v Speaker 1>Des I'm really sorry to hear that it.

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<v Speaker 2>Was sad, because I was. I had imagined our future together.

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<v Speaker 2>I imagine it's walking off into the sunset, having a

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<v Speaker 2>gorgeous time. But then this is why I'm pissed off

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<v Speaker 2>about it. I think the owner fucking stitched me up

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<v Speaker 2>because he said to me, oh, these treats in my pocket,

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<v Speaker 2>they're the good treats. Normally, when I'm just doing day

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<v Speaker 2>to day dog walking, I've got the Povo schmackos or whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>But when she's meeting new people as an incentive to

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<v Speaker 2>be extra nized, I get her the special treats as

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<v Speaker 2>an extra award, and I'm like, no, wonder she attacked me.

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<v Speaker 2>She thought I was stealing them. She thought that I

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<v Speaker 2>was taking the treats away from her. No wonder she

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<v Speaker 2>fucking wanted blood because the fucking top shelf treats and

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<v Speaker 2>she thought that this random woman was trying to.

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<v Speaker 1>Rob her of her beautiful treat Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>And then he says to me, yeah, no, sorry about that.

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<v Speaker 2>She's normally great with people, but not great with other animals.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, what are you saying? You're a man animal?

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<v Speaker 2>Just adding insult to injury. I think that if it

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<v Speaker 2>weren't for the fucking luxury treats, I would have nailed

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<v Speaker 2>you all over me the treats.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not you, it's the treats. I'm sorry. I know

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<v Speaker 1>how excited you are seriously about.

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<v Speaker 2>Getting I'm really sorry. I just think that we should

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<v Speaker 2>be able to euthanize other people's don't be able to

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<v Speaker 2>know her because quite frankly, our streets aren't safe with

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<v Speaker 2>lady bug out and about.

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<v Speaker 1>You should preciate photos of fucking threats?

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<v Speaker 2>Is she threat?

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<v Speaker 1>What if the heat is you don't want to piss

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<v Speaker 1>them off?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care. They didn't give me the gig. Yeah

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<v Speaker 2>that's true.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm very sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>The fucking tiny black dog tried to mourn me to death.

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<v Speaker 2>In the street and.

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<v Speaker 1>Then they still made you walk it. That's cruel, sadistic.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, it was like they were hovering a treat in

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<v Speaker 2>front of me and I couldn't get it. They're like,

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<v Speaker 2>this is the dog you could have been walking if

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<v Speaker 2>you got along. For the next half hour that's paraded

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<v Speaker 2>around being like, No, she doesn't like you, Doshy still

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't like you. No, she still doesn't like you.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, Mitchell, I'm pleased to say I've got an update

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<v Speaker 1>in my dog search. I believe in the next six

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<v Speaker 1>months I'll be getting a dog.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you please like I say this as a friend? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>can you fucking not though, get a dog? The last

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<v Speaker 2>thing you need is another excuse to stay at home.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why you're getting it, isn't it fun? Dog owners

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<v Speaker 2>make it the whole personality. Sorry, I've got to get

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<v Speaker 2>home to the dog. They do, they might have fucking

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<v Speaker 2>eaten a cushion.

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<v Speaker 1>Now my dog would be very well behaved.

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<v Speaker 2>You say that, now my dog will be behaved.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get a little black white one and to

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<v Speaker 1>name it Lady, just to spite you.

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<v Speaker 2>And I hope it fucking rips everything.

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<v Speaker 1>All right?

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<v Speaker 2>Good? Also, ladybugs allergic to grasp fucking pathetically, what.

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<v Speaker 1>Kind of It's like an astronaut being allergic to space.

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<v Speaker 2>I have to only walk around the path. Well, you

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<v Speaker 2>would have had to, But I thought that I had

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<v Speaker 2>the gig because at the end of the day, when

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<v Speaker 2>I was about to go home from this meet and greet,

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<v Speaker 2>they said, right, so, Keeta, the house will be in

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<v Speaker 2>the letterbox. That'll be where it is the first time

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<v Speaker 2>you walk out. But then you can just hold onto

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<v Speaker 2>it for the next three weeks. See, you don't have

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<v Speaker 2>to keep putting it back in the letter box. I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, sweet, I got the gig, despite the fact

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<v Speaker 2>you can't stand me, and quite frankly, I can't stand her.

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<v Speaker 1>And you didn't get the gig. I'm very sorry. Sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm condolence to you to think what could have been.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't think it's over their loss. Their loss, lady bugs loss,

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<v Speaker 1>lady bugs lost.

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<v Speaker 2>I know there are dressed now. If I happened to

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<v Speaker 2>drop rat poison in the wrong backyard, terrible. Why do

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<v Speaker 2>you have raw sausages and razor blades? That's what people do.

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<v Speaker 1>They baked them. People baked dogs in dog parks. They

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<v Speaker 1>put razor blades. Neighbors who hate their neighbors dogs because

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<v Speaker 1>they're bark They put raw razor blades in raw sausage.

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<v Speaker 2>It's true. Okay, I take back my jokes.

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<v Speaker 1>That's awful. That's Brittany Harkilely, my friend and my radio

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<v Speaker 1>co host the Bonda Dog Park that she walks her

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful dog, Delilay in gets there's there's rat poison in

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<v Speaker 1>the bake them into cookies and put them into dog

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<v Speaker 1>trees and then dogs eat them and then they die

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<v Speaker 1>at because these neighbors are just awful powers.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe actually taking Lady Buck to bonder.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, we're ready for my age.

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<v Speaker 2>I sure it.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it just me? Did we all just stop getting croup? Well,

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<v Speaker 1>kroup cough?

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<v Speaker 2>What's that?

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<v Speaker 1>Did you never get kroup cough?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you explain what it is?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I've got an audio grab of what kroup cough

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like. Because growing up, oh, croup was the plague

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<v Speaker 1>Mum would free cop the kids have croup.

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<v Speaker 2>Croup is an upper airway infection that blocks breathing and

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<v Speaker 2>has a distinctive barking cough.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, no, no, this is croup. I found it online.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a croup cough. Oh gosh, it sounds like a hanky,

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<v Speaker 1>like an old man blowing his nose into a hanky.

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<v Speaker 1>I had croup a dozen times growing up. It is

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<v Speaker 1>that cough that rumbles in your chest, you know, when

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<v Speaker 1>you breathe out and it goes. Oh, that kind of

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<v Speaker 1>cough as croup.

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<v Speaker 2>Sounded like you doing coughing fit chicken on this podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>That coffe.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, sure, you don't still have it.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I don't have kroup coff because that's I've noticed

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<v Speaker 1>not getting it. I've actually like, I forget kroup cough.

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<v Speaker 1>But maybe it's a thing that only my family.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember my mum had a kid health book and

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<v Speaker 2>like the first page was croop cough. You were raised

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<v Speaker 2>before Google, so I guess, yeah, that's a good call.

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<v Speaker 1>It was actually inscribed onto a concrete tablet. Yes, so, Mitchell,

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<v Speaker 1>you've never had croup.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Maybe I did. I just didn't call

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<v Speaker 2>it that. I've got no idea. It rings not one

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<v Speaker 2>bell for me.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I had a deep, chesty cough croup.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but it didn't sound like a hanky.

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<v Speaker 1>What what does it sound like?

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<v Speaker 2>Describe it just like a normal iPad kid cough No,

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<v Speaker 2>that's not it.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a deep rumbling cough do an impression.

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<v Speaker 2>Why is your tongue? Why is your tongue out?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm hiccupping. Oh my god, something's going wrong with me.

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<v Speaker 1>That's it.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you do the wet ones all the time? That's

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<v Speaker 2>your normal cop Oh, so this isn't a real disease.

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<v Speaker 1>Mum made this up, probably because I was an ill kid.

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<v Speaker 2>She must have thought you were sick all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>But that was your part.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks Michelle.

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<v Speaker 2>Is It just Me? A podcast by a couple of meches.

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<v Speaker 2>Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.