WEBVTT - Is alcohol a problem? Learning moderation and sobriety with a sober coach 🍺 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:07.160 Get everyone Sam here. I'm about to jump on a 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:11.480 plane and shoot off to New York with my little girl, Eedie, 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:15.120 which I'm very very excited about. Haven't been overseas, have 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:17.800 not been overseas since COVID, So there you go. So 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:22.920 we're off to New York for her to interview and 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:27.520 tour around two colleges that she is hoping to get into, 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:30.560 which I'm very excited about. I'm excited about it for 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:32.720 her and I'm just excited that we get to spend 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:34.640 a bit of one on one time together which she'll 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:37.280 be really, really nice. And whether or not I'm having 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:40.360 a glass of champagne on the flight on the way over, 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:43.199 we'll probably be determined by how the conversation goes with 0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:46.879 our next guest, which is the wonderful Danny Carr. She 0:00:47.720 --> 0:00:51.520 gave up alcohol five years ago, hasn't had a sip since. 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:53.400 We're going to find out why. We're going to find 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:55.840 out what she's doing to help encourage others to do 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:58.960 the same. It's a wonderful story that's up next on 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:01.280 the Woodlife. And then make sure you hang around because 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:05.720 finally we are going to address calorie deficit. What it 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:09.240 means what you need to understand and does it work? 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:32.120 That's up next on the Woodlife through to introduce our 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.800 next guest who has actually taken time out of her 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:39.520 travel schedule. She's traveling with her family around Australia and 0:01:39.680 --> 0:01:42.959 is currently in Broome, so wonderful of her to join us. 0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:46.880 It is Danny Carr, who is a sober coach and 0:01:47.080 --> 0:01:50.320 founder of How I Quit Alcohol. Danny, thanks so much 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:51.480 for joining us on the wood Life. 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:53.440 Hi Sam, thanks for having me so. 0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:58.280 Five years ago, roughly you decided to go sober. Let's 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:01.080 start there before we sort of get into now what 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:05.080 you do, let's talk about your own experience. Why did 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:08.320 you decide to go sober five years ago? I've got 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:10.920 so many questions about this, both from I'm sure what 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:13.320 our listeners want to know and from a personal perspective. 0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:18.440 Yeah, well, basically it We've just been decades of binge 0:02:18.480 --> 0:02:21.440 drinking like and not all the time, like you know, 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:25.080 going sometimes a month or two without drinking, and then 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:29.280 thinking Okay, I've got this, and then just getting absolutely 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:31.639 hammered and just like what the hell happened last night? 0:02:32.360 --> 0:02:35.760 Waking up with those terrible hangovers and just not remembering 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:39.160 what had gone down the night before, or my husband 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:43.799 not having some massive blowout like an argument from the 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.520 night before and not really remembering what that was about. 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:50.840 But then also starting like our kids starting to notice, 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:53.480 particularly our eldest, so she was sort of noticing drunk 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:56.880 behavior and just thinking, this is not what I want 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.760 for them. But then it was it's so not only 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:03.680 in our culture, but also my husband's in the music industry. 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.080 We've been in the music industry for a long time. 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:10.120 It's just what's expected of you. It's just everywhere, and 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:14.160 growing up in the country, just from a young age, 0:03:14.280 --> 0:03:16.920 it's just what we did every single weekend. But then 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:18.920 as we were getting older, it was becoming more and 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.920 more frequent. So my husband get home from tour on 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:25.239 a Tuesday, and then we'd have a huge blowout that night, 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:26.960 and then he goes off on tour and has a 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.880 blowout that weekend. It was just becoming more and more common, 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:33.360 and the blackouts were kind of getting longer and longer, 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.600 and it was just realized, this isn't getting any better, 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:42.160 you know, and so we decided to a friend of mine, 0:03:42.320 --> 0:03:44.880 let's take a year off the booze together. Like I 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.040 was going to do it. Then asked my husband Ash, 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:49.160 did you know do you want to do this too? 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.320 And he said yes, And then we asked our friends Scott. Well, 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:55.560 we told Scott about it, his bass player from the 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:58.640 Living End. He's like, yep, I mean it. Said right, 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:00.960 let's say let's do this for one year and see 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:02.080 how I feel at the end of it. 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:04.320 Do you still feel like a drink? Now? 0:04:05.040 --> 0:04:08.520 It's so funny because not really, like, very very rarely, 0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:11.520 but when Ash and I pulled up in broom, we're 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:14.640 going to the seafood restaurant and we're about to and 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:16.640 the sun and I just said to Ash, oh my god, 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:18.599 I just had this sort of craving just for a 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:23.200 second for white wine. Oh that's interesting, and he's yeah. 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.960 Then like it passed pretty quickly, but it was interesting 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:29.680 that that just just showed up, just this little flicker 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:32.359 that came that came into my mind for a moment. 0:04:32.400 --> 0:04:35.520 But not very often. Okay, so not very often at all. Yeah. 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:39.760 I guess the thing that I notice is the huge 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:44.400 variance in people's attitude towards alcohol. Some people, if I 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:48.480 said to them, you've got to have a year off alcohol, Yeah, 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:52.680 no worries to me, that's fine. Other people like they 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:55.800 fall over and say, you are kidding. Some people, if 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:57.799 I said to them, you're going to have three alcohol 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:02.200 free days a week would be like, I can't. I 0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:04.520 had seven months off when Sneez was pregnant with our 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:09.039 third little girl, little Charlie, and I found the first 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:13.800 month hard, and it definitely got easier afterwards. You know, 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:17.960 we've got dry July about to start. Let's start there. 0:05:18.000 --> 0:05:19.880 Do you think doing it for one month is a 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:23.120 good starting point or do you think people should make 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:23.920 a bigger commitment. 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:27.839 Well, personally and just from experience and working with people now, 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:30.600 I find that the one month is good. I think 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:33.799 any time off it is great. After the one month, 0:05:34.279 --> 0:05:36.280 I think that's when you kind of dopamine levels kind 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:38.000 of level out, and you kind of get into a 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:42.279 bit more of a I don't know, your body starts 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:44.520 to get back into its own rhythm. You know, you 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:45.520 start to sleep better. 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:48.960 Yeah, so you think that can take a month, Danny, Yeah, I. 0:05:48.880 --> 0:05:51.040 Reckon it takes about a month twenty one days two 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:51.400 a month. 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:53.800 Yeah, So that's really interesting because and I just said 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:56.000 after a month that got easier. But for me, I 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:59.600 never put that down to a physiological reason. I think 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.320 I just and I don't know, maybe I'm just getting 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:07.680 better at managing it and catching up with people in 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.880 non alcoholic settings. I don't know. That's really interesting that 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:13.960 there's actually a physiological reason that it does get easier 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:15.919 after that sort of twenty one to thirty days. I 0:06:15.920 --> 0:06:18.160 think that's important that people know that. 0:06:18.720 --> 0:06:22.000 Yeah, there's a great book called Dopamine Nation by doctor 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:24.680 Anna Leemke, and that's a great book to look into 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:27.240 because she explains how the dopamine levels out after the 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:29.599 twenty one days, usually twenty one days to a month. 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.720 Then after that it's really good to start looking at 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:36.239 the behaviors that drive our drinking. So perhaps after that time, 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:38.560 if you really want to get into the needy gritties 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.880 of it, maybe give it another month after that to 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:42.960 go Okay, now I'm starting to feel a bit more 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:46.240 normal now. What So if I give it another month 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.600 after that, I start to notice what do I need it? Like, 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:52.160 what's making me need the alcohol, and looking at what 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:55.000 drives us to drink in the first place. So for me, 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:59.920 I realized after some time, I'm so uncomfortable, I'm socially 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:02.960 really awkward, and I'm really uncomfortable in a group setting. 0:07:03.440 --> 0:07:05.159 And I noticed that was what was triggering me to 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:07.839 drink and was probably what was causing me to have 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:11.160 big blackouts because it was guzzling because I felt so uncomfortable. 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:14.160 And once I realized that I was able to kind 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:16.040 of work with that a bit, and now now I'm 0:07:16.080 --> 0:07:18.720 pretty good socially. I must say I don't love it. 0:07:18.760 --> 0:07:20.800 I don't love being in a big group, but I 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:24.200 can see why that drove my drinking. So one thing 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:25.960 I find that when we take out the alcohol, we 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:28.520 start to understand our own behaviors a whole lot better 0:07:28.920 --> 0:07:32.080 and we start to see what's, yeah, what's causing this, 0:07:32.160 --> 0:07:34.920 because sometimes we're leaning on alcohol without even realizing why 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:37.320 what we want from it. One question I always asked 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:40.560 when I work with people is why, like, what does 0:07:40.560 --> 0:07:42.680 it do for you? What's right about it? And so 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:44.720 I just find you can do the month off and 0:07:44.800 --> 0:07:46.400 that's all good, but if you want to kind of 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:48.680 understand it a bit more, give it another four weeks 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:51.240 after that or another few weeks after that. Let's see 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:53.120 how you feel and to see what comes up for 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:55.520 you and see what you can learn about yourself. The 0:07:55.600 --> 0:07:58.440 twelve months that we took off from alcohol was probably 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:00.840 one of the greatest year in terms of learning about 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.880 ourselves and our own behaviors, both Ash and myself and 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:06.600 the others in the group that's stuck stuck with it. 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:09.520 I think it's I think give it a bit longer, 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:12.520 I'd say a yeah, Like I always, I think a 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:15.200 year is just amazing. One hundred days or a year, 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:18.000 you know, like, get give it a bit more time, okay, 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:20.320 and then you get some real benefits out of it. 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:23.680 And so what are the main benefits? I mean, I 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:25.840 think I have a pretty good handle. But for our 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:30.960 listeners that are perhaps focusing on what they like about alcohol, 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:33.400 do you want to paint them a bit of a 0:08:33.440 --> 0:08:36.120 wonderful positive picture to what they've got to look forward 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:37.719 to if they have one hundred days off or a 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:38.200 year off. 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:42.480 Look for us, I could go on for hours. Probably 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:45.880 the first and foremost thing is the way I found 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.400 about myself because I was waking up all the time, 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:51.600 like hating myself and having this dialect with myself all 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:54.480 the time though you've done it again or that kind 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:58.240 of stuff. So not waking up burating myself, you know, 0:08:59.120 --> 0:09:01.760 most weekend and then that would also it would last 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:04.720 for like a few days afterwards as well. So that 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.679 kind of negative conversation I was having with myself stopped. 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:10.520 So the relationship with myself changed. 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:13.120 And let's not underestimate the power of that. I mean, 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:16.520 that's huge. That's not a little thing. That is massive. 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:19.800 Yeah, Sam, that's like life changing. It's like if you 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:24.920 start to like yourself hating yourself, it changes everything. You 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:28.240 treat yourself so much better. You not just what you're eating, 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:33.920 but the conversations, the quality of your relationships, everything changes. 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:37.000 That was one of the greatest gifts our relationship. Oh 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:40.000 my god. We went from borderline we're about to break 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.080 up here, I'm on real estate dot com, you know, 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:49.000 after every big binge, yeah, looking for Arendall, to this 0:09:49.160 --> 0:09:55.160 relationship completely changed by our relationship. It's just so oh god, 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:58.800 I can't even begin, you know, and then I get. 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:01.200 And then also just on a product activity level, like 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:04.280 our productivity went through the roof. Everything improved, I can't 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:07.280 even And then just most importantly, there was probably the 0:10:07.760 --> 0:10:10.199 mental health stuff just improved. I was having a lot 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:14.600 of anxiety. The anxiety stopped completely, and that was just 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:17.479 cutting out the alcohol alone, all the other stuff I did afterwards, 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:22.760 So just endless energy levels just amazing and sleep, Like, 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:25.800 the sleep improves so much and it's not a day 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:28.160 I regret not drinking. And I was a pretty big 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.600 party girl. Yeah, that was definitely my identity. 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.920 When you do drink, there's all of that. It triggers 0:10:34.920 --> 0:10:39.360 all of these other negative behaviors that we don't necessarily 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.160 think of as drinking induced, but when we trace it back, 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:45.280 that's where they sort of start, whether it's poor influence 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:49.520 on your children, or bad relationships or taking drugs or whatever, 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:53.400 you know. And then when you don't all this time 0:10:53.400 --> 0:10:56.240 to exercise and I'm all of a sudden, I'm caring 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:59.320 more about what I eat and I'm writing a book 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:02.680 or you know, my career has taken off or whatever. 0:11:02.840 --> 0:11:06.880 You know, it's just amazing how it either shuts down 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:11.320 these opportunities or opens them up. And I just think 0:11:11.400 --> 0:11:15.520 you shouldn't underestimate the power of that. What happened, if anything, 0:11:15.600 --> 0:11:19.160 with the relationship with your kids when you stopped, And 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:24.120 also just while I remember it, how powerful was it 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:26.600 that you and your husband did it together rather than 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:27.840 trying to do it on your own. 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:31.360 Yeah, such good questions, both of them. Well, firstly, the 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:35.120 relationship with the kids. The biggest night that I had 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:38.040 before I quit, and I this night was I think 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:40.080 it might have happened in September, and I didn't quit 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:42.200 until the January, so it happened a bit before. But 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.520 I had this huge binge and it was mean to 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:47.920 be looking after my friend's kids and I ended up 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:50.439 the parents of those kids end up having to come 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:54.280 and look after me. I got so drunk and so embarrassing, 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.240 and my daughter had to hold back my hair while 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:01.320 I was vomiting, and it was awful, and I just, 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:03.400 you know, and I told her, you know, I must 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:05.120 have had something bad to eat. And I woke up 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:08.160 later that night just so full of shame and just 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:11.960 thinking this is so bad, like for my daughter to see. 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:15.920 I can't laugh this off anymore. And now that she's 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:21.200 involved and she's sort of seeing this, I know. So 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:24.880 I grew up in an addicted parent, and I can 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:29.000 really clearly remember not having that trust, not feeling safe 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:32.560 enough sometimes when you know if mum was really under 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:35.520 the influence of the drugs or the booze or the both. 0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:38.480 And I just thought then I don't ever want my 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.400 kids to feel like that, to feel not safe around me, 0:12:42.240 --> 0:12:44.080 And it's you know, I want them to be able 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:47.319 to depend on me. So that was one of the 0:12:47.320 --> 0:12:50.160 biggest drivers obviously. But I remember her saying to me 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:51.360 at the end of the year, you're not going to 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:52.520 start drinking? Can I year? 0:12:53.120 --> 0:12:58.200 And I was like, wow, that's powerful. Wow. 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:01.320 I just knew that she felt safer from me not 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:03.080 drinking and for actional drinking. 0:13:03.240 --> 0:13:05.920 So that came from her. That was not that wasn't 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:10.320 an answer to her question or that just she initiated that. 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:12.440 Yeah, she initiated that. 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:14.640 And how old was she when she did that, Danny? 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.120 She was probably nine. 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:21.680 Wow. Wow's that's amazing. 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:24.839 Yeah, and it did for us too, were like, oh god, 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:27.760 and I think Sam as well. And this also goes 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:31.120 into your next question because our relationship had improved so 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:33.520 much because you think the kids are in better sleep 0:13:33.520 --> 0:13:37.160 when you're having this big argument, you know they're probably not. 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.560 They're probably hearing it, or they're sensing the aftermath of it, 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.480 perhaps even the next day, the change and energy. So 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.400 not having that as well for a year because our 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.360 relationships started to improve so much and it's not like 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.679 we're fighting all the time. We had a pretty good relationship. 0:13:52.080 --> 0:13:53.800 And also just going back to that, it's not like 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:57.080 we were drinking every day either. So the kids are 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:59.240 getting you one way one minute and then they're seeing 0:13:59.280 --> 0:13:59.920 you the next way. 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:02.240 Yeah another minute, No consistency. 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.960 Yeah, it's so yeah, where's the consistency there? So then 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:10.000 I think doing the quitting together and not everyone gets 0:14:10.040 --> 0:14:13.040 this either, So I'm so grateful. I've got to say that, 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:15.520 because I know there's so many people that they're trying 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.120 to do it and their partner doesn't want to do it, 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:20.120 and there's this kind of incongruency there within the relationship. 0:14:20.840 --> 0:14:24.440 But to do it together was amazing, and because we 0:14:24.520 --> 0:14:26.680 went on this kind of soul journey a bit together, 0:14:26.840 --> 0:14:30.200 Like we started reading Wayne Dyer books and getting into 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.160 I don't know, just positive affirmation stuff, which Ash would 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.840 have thought so we were before, and a gratitude journal together. Well, 0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:39.800 I could write our gratitudes and talk about what we're 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:43.520 grateful for, and yoga and all this stuff that we 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:45.360 started to do together, and he was getting to whim 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:47.680 off and I don't know, we just had different things 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:51.000 to talk about now and it was all positive, and 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:54.400 so that effect on your relationship, it's got to have 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:57.120 a good effect, you know, And so it always was. 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:59.480 I always thought too, I wanted, you know, we're thinking 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:01.760 about breaking, which is so sad because we've got such 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:04.080 a relationship. Alcohol is the only thing that caused us 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:06.720 to fight. And then I thought, I'll see how I 0:15:06.760 --> 0:15:08.400 feel at the end of this, at the end of 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:10.920 this year, I'll decide if we're going to stay in 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.480 this relationship or not. And thank god, you know, at 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.040 the end, it was like cool. I was like, this 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.720 is my best friend, I love this person. But it 0:15:17.840 --> 0:15:21.120 strengthened our relationships so much. And yeah, I think doing 0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:23.880 it together really really helps. But also I know that 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:25.520 that's not a possibility for everyone. 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:28.760 There will be so many people listening to this. I'm 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:32.960 sure that know that this is them, or at least 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.280 part of what they're saying is what they're living, and 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:41.160 they haven't had the courage to talk about it, or 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:45.600 perhaps even the courage to admit it, you know, even 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:51.040 to themselves. I guess my my challenge to our listeners 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:55.160 is I think sometimes we you know, we always say, oh, yeah, 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:58.080 but that person actually has a drinking problem. You know, 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:02.000 I don't like we always like to play down our 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:05.840 own circumstance and deflect to others or look at extreme 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:09.280 kind of consequences that might not be relevant to us. 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:12.520 What I don't want is our listeners to be going, oh, 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:17.200 you know, that's applaud Danny, and it's incredible what they did. 0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:20.600 But I have much better control than that when I drink, 0:16:20.720 --> 0:16:23.920 you know whatever, And I just don't want our listeners 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:28.320 to go, Yeah, those particular things that we your lowest 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:32.000 points aren't relevant to me, and therefore I don't need 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.520 to seriously consider this. I mean, what's your advice to 0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:41.760 people you know are sitting there telling themselves this is 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:44.160 not actually as big a problem for me as it 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.840 was for Danny, and therefore I'll just continue on my way, Like, 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:50.360 how do you convince those people or how do those 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:53.440 people perhaps identify the other areas in their life in 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:56.320 which it is negatively impacting them. That's a hard question 0:16:56.400 --> 0:16:59.040 to answer, But you don't want to have to get 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.240 to rock bottom before you do something about it. I mean, 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:03.480 there's probably part of you that thinks I wish I'd 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:04.200 done this earlier. 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:08.400 Absolutely, and Ash and I've had this conversation so many times, 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:10.000 so you'd be like, oh God, I wish I'd have 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:12.080 done this sooner, because I didn't realize how good it 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.320 was going to be or how productive I was going 0:17:14.400 --> 0:17:16.800 to be because of it. In saying that, you know 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:19.760 that night that that was a pretty rock bottom moment 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.119 for me. For some people, that's not even anywhere near 0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:24.480 their rock bottom. Sure of other people, that's like, well, 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.480 that's the worst thing that could possibly happen. But that 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.720 was a one off. There was plenty of nights I 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.879 would just drink too much and maybe ring someone and 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:37.520 not quite remember the conversation, or overshare a bit too much, 0:17:37.640 --> 0:17:40.919 or you know, it's pokemon nose in where it wasn't wanted. 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.119 You know, it's just getting to be too involved. You know, 0:17:43.200 --> 0:17:44.680 those kind of things where you wake up and you 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:47.080 feel it a little bit cringey the next day. And 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:49.640 I was always just waking up feeling a bit cringy 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:54.200 and not liking that. I just didn't feel good about 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:58.240 myself after I drunk. So I think it's the only 0:17:58.480 --> 0:18:01.160 I couldn't give advice other than gauge how you feel 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:03.399 about yourself afterwards. So if you're waking up and you're 0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:06.800 feeling a bit like, oh, that's not good or I 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:08.840 didn't like I don't like how I feel about myself today. 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.960 After that, then that's a good indicator that something's up. 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:14.560 Now if you keep waking up and feeling like that 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:17.719 on a regular basis, where you feel like just not 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:21.280 at your full potential, or you're feeling ashamed of yourself, 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:26.200 or you're feeling embarrassed, you know, that's yourself telling you something. 0:18:26.040 --> 0:18:29.560 That should be enough. Yeah, yeah, identify those feelings and 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:31.000 don't and don't ignore them. 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.639 Yeah, but Sam, I'd also say too, if it's not 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:35.960 a problem, it's not a problem. So for some people 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:39.160 they can enjoy the b or two rewind or two, 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:41.880 and if it's not affecting them at all, and if 0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:44.080 they can be honest enough to say no, it's actually 0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:46.000 not affecting me, and there's plenty of people like that, 0:18:46.480 --> 0:18:49.240 then it's not a problem. It's for those people that 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.359 wake up feeling like, nah, this isn't me or I 0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:55.560 don't this is not sitting well with me, I'm not 0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:58.080 enjoying this, or I don't feel good about myself. They're 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:01.000 the people I'd say, yeah, like, have a look at 0:19:01.040 --> 0:19:01.680 it okay. 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:04.560 So with your business, Danny, How I Quit Alcohol? Is 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:07.879 there a certain type of person that comes to see you, 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:10.680 or it's really anyone. 0:19:11.280 --> 0:19:14.720 There's really all sorts of people. I've worked with people 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:17.480 that you don't believe this, that have had like they 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:19.280 just have a couple of light beers on the weekend, 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:22.000 but they can't stop. And I've had people that drink 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:27.320 every day and they're serious heavy drinkers as well. I'd 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:29.600 sort of see all sorts and everything in between. I 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.760 guess for anyone just wanting to change, to change some 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:35.480 behaviors that aren't suiting them anymore if they can't kind 0:19:35.480 --> 0:19:37.520 of quite break that. The other thing is too you 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:39.760 don't even like it's great to see a coach and 0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:41.880 to get involved with someone, say like meet it with 0:19:41.920 --> 0:19:45.080 some guidance. But there's so much great free material out 0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:46.920 there as well. Like I've got my podcast How I 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:50.000 Quit Alcohol. People contact me every day and say I 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:53.160 quit just listening to that. Sometimes that's enough for people. 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:56.480 There's so much information out there now that I think 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:59.000 people you know you can you can also do it 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:02.000 on your own, you know, if you can't afford the 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:05.000 support or you know, if that's not accessible to you. 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:06.600 You know, there's lots of ways in which you can 0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:07.120 get help. 0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:11.119 I think that's a really nice, honest message for people 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:13.679 to hear of. I've loved chatting with you, Danny. I 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:16.239 love your honesty, I love your story. I love what 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:18.520 you're doing to help encourage others to do the same. 0:20:19.040 --> 0:20:20.840 I think the fact that you and asked it together 0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:24.359 is just phenomenal and really appreciate it. Danny talk again. 0:20:24.600 --> 0:20:26.840 Awesome, Thanks so much, and thanks for having me Sam. 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:28.840 It's always great to have these conversations. 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:42.480 Oh Danny, what a refreshingly raw, honest chat. And I 0:20:42.640 --> 0:20:45.680 just I just hope that our listeners like I am 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:49.560 feeling now are going you know, I appreciate the vulnerability, 0:20:49.560 --> 0:20:53.679