WEBVTT - #82 Ellidy Pullin: Losing a Partner, IVF Struggles and Birth of Minnie ! 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.680 Ah, another day, another bonus episode to gift our listeners. 0:00:03.720 --> 0:00:06.600 Ash Yes, Matt's I love it and guess who we've 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:09.760 got on today's bonus. Let me just play your quick 0:00:09.840 --> 0:00:11.960 little sneak peek if you don't mind. 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:13.239 Yay, guys, let's go. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:15.160 It is Elodipulling. 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:20.000 What a bloody ray of sunshine she is. 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.479 She's the kind of person where you just want to 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:23.599 be a best mate. 0:00:23.800 --> 0:00:24.840 Oh absolutely. 0:00:25.000 --> 0:00:27.080 And if you're not familiar with Elidie, she's the co 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:30.200 host of a very popular podcast called Darling Shine, along 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:33.320 with Chloe Fisher, who is married to the Fisher. So 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:36.040 Elidie's a model, she's an author, and of course her 0:00:36.120 --> 0:00:38.400 mum to little Minnie Alex Chump. 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.000 Minnie is a beautiful kid who looks just like her 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:45.440 father Chumpy. How she was conceived is something that is 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:48.600 very unique but extremely beautiful. Ash. 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:49.120 Yeah. 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:51.879 In the middle of twenty twenty, sadly, Chumpy died in 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:55.040 a tragic spearfishing accident off the coast of Palm Beach. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:56.600 On that same. 0:00:56.440 --> 0:00:58.880 Day, Elidie lost the love of her life, but her 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:00.880 future as a mother was saved. 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:04.880 Despite the immense loss, Leddy has shown incredible strength and 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:08.520 resilience in managing motherhood on her own, providing a loving 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:10.600 and nurturing environment for her daughter. 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:13.280 ELDI faces the same challenges that you and I do. Matt, 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:14.080 that's for sure. 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:18.720 Yeah, that's the dummy. Also a biting child as well. 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:33.200 Shall we get into it, Let's do it. 0:01:36.600 --> 0:01:39.880 Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum. 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.560 I'm Mattie Jay, I'm Ash. 0:01:41.959 --> 0:01:44.280 And I'm Eliti Pulan. Thanks for having me. 0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.360 This is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good, 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:50.560 it is the bad and the relatable. And Ash and 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:53.920 I don't give any advice. Led have you got any 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:57.800 advice to give today? I know pressure if you do it, it. 0:01:57.760 --> 0:01:58.680 Could be accidental. 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:00.920 And don't have a big night a few days before 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:03.160 you're going to record, because I've lost my voice and 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:04.320 I sound yeah. 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.240 I saw that story. I was like, was it Sunday night? 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:10.560 My wife goes, look you, I was coming up and 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:12.120 she's like she lost a voice. I'm like, oh, it's 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:13.800 not till wednesday. I'm sure it'll be fine. And then 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:15.720 I think we spoke about it Monday. And then I 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:17.200 saw a story and I think you were talking. 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:18.240 I'm like oh, we can work with that. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:19.720 Your voices bounced back. 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:22.400 It has Actually, yeah, no, I literally couldn't speak on Monday. 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:24.560 But I literally forgot that we were doing this. So 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:27.000 you're lucky because I might have been like, hey, guys 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:28.079 to cancel. 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.640 Well, you gave us a message a couple of days ago, 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:33.800 and we thought that message was going to be the 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:37.920 one to say, sorry, yeah, we can't do it. We're 0:02:37.919 --> 0:02:38.920 gonna have to postpone it. 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:41.399 This okay, this is how take a literate I am? 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:43.280 Is this the one where I was like, hey, guys, 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:45.560 I've just moved to a new place and I don't 0:02:45.560 --> 0:02:47.360 have internet, So do you want me to hire a 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:48.600 studio or something like that? 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:50.480 And your beautiful. 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:54.840 Producer Jess was like, yeah, so we're flying up to 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.520 you and we're bringing our equipment and I was like yeah, 0:02:58.560 --> 0:03:00.720 and I'm just telling you I don't have internet, and 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:03.160 she's like, we're bringing the equipment and. 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:05.160 I was like, and I don't have internet. She's like, 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:05.600 and we. 0:03:05.560 --> 0:03:07.480 Don't need it because I'm just going to press play 0:03:07.480 --> 0:03:08.280 and uploaded later. 0:03:08.320 --> 0:03:10.400 And I was like, fuck you. I have my own 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:12.680 podcast and you think I would know this. 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:14.880 You're always not in charge of the Wi Fi. All 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:16.359 the tech is gear in your podcast. 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:18.919 I asked Chloe last night, I go, is that not normal? 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:21.720 And she goes, I always like, we always have to 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:25.720 have Wi Fi when we record, but we're pretty it's random. 0:03:25.760 --> 0:03:26.840 You guys have a good setup. 0:03:26.880 --> 0:03:28.200 Don't mind me. I'm not sure if you're going to 0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:32.280 hear this. I'm being licked by your dog, which I'm enjoying. 0:03:35.760 --> 0:03:39.320 That's just tasting the smashed abbot from this morning. Yeah, Elidi, 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:43.800 when you were a youngster, a little kid, if you will, 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:46.680 what were you like and were you different to how 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:47.360 you are now? 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:51.880 M I reckon, I'm actually I think I'm actually pretty 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:53.560 similar to now im Like I said to my mum, 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:56.480 I think recently, I'm like, fuck, why is Minnie so. 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:57.440 Annoying my kid? 0:03:57.560 --> 0:04:00.640 Like she must have been having like she must have 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:01.960 been a pest that day or. 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:02.920 Just wasn't stopped. 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:07.240 I was like, mean, he's so annoying, and Mom's like, yep, 0:04:07.320 --> 0:04:08.440 you were the exact same. 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.120 Oh my god, my dog's being annoying too right now. 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.040 Rummy, Sorry, I can hear her yapping in the background, 0:04:15.040 --> 0:04:17.880 but yeah, mom was my arm so she can keep 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:18.679 keep the licking. 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.400 Going keep that pat up. 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:24.040 No, but mom was like she always gives me this 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:26.719 look like you were the exact same, And I'm like, 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:29.599 how annoying? Like I keep saying sorry to my mom, 0:04:29.640 --> 0:04:31.640 I'm like, man, sorry, because she also did it alone 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:32.039 as well. 0:04:32.520 --> 0:04:32.719 Well. 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:35.000 Her and my dad divorce when I was like one 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:38.240 or something and we were full time with mum. So 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:41.120 I'm like, shit, sorry, mum, and she had two of us. 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:42.359 It's not easy. 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.120 It's not until you have kids that you then look 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.760 back and you're like, I am so sorry to my parents. 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.039 I'm like, I put you through hell. 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.800 So much respect for them all of a sudden, like 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:55.400 I'm so much nicer to my mom these days. 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:57.240 And my mom says the same thing about my son. 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:01.200 I'm like, god, why was he shut up? And she's like, that's. 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.720 You, mate, that's what you were like when you're exactly 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:04.240 like that. 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:07.719 So yeah annoying, Oh yeah yeah yeah? 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:10.200 Were you the were you the class clown? Would you say? 0:05:10.520 --> 0:05:12.919 I was like I was always yeah, I was always 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:14.400 getting what do we do about my dog? 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:17.000 Should I just hear? Come here? Come here, just sit here. Sorry? 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:21.559 She's like maybe she needs to be on me. Sit sorry, Okay, 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:22.680 I think she might chill now. 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:25.359 I was always the one getting sent out in class, 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:28.599 like I was, And funnily enough, i'd like just for 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.279 talking and just like my attentions, but I definitely have 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:35.000 ADHD and I just can't, you know, get And. 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:36.200 Then I'd get sent out of class. 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:38.360 And I remember a few times in primary school I'd 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.400 get sent out and I'd look to the classroom next 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:41.400 to me, and my brother would. 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:47.240 Also be sitting outside looking at it. You're like, fuck 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:47.799 not again. 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.560 So growing up, did you always think I want to 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:52.880 be a mom, I want to have a family. 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:54.960 Yes, I always wanted kids. 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:57.560 I think I thought I was probably more maternal than 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:58.640 what I actually am. 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:00.520 Like, I am such a touch person. 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:03.520 I love cuddles and I'm like super warm and friendly 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.880 and like fuzzy and shit. But like sometimes with Mini, 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:10.160 I'm like, get off me. I'm so done with being 0:06:10.200 --> 0:06:14.920 touched sometimes. Nah, that newborn phase is everything. And yeah, 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:18.520 I think I grew up like around kids a lot, 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:21.560 And yeah, I always knew I wanted to be a mum. 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:25.560 I think it's a big difference so between like being 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:27.479 young and thinking you want to have a big family 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:30.120 and then you actually start having kids, and you're like, 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:31.640 holy shit. 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:34.520 Why am I so tired all the time. It's like I. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:37.240 Think a lot of kids when they're like in primary 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.200 school or whatever, they always look to their teachers. 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:40.520 And they're like, one day, I want to be a 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:41.200 school teacher. 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:43.800 Like I definitely had that, and now I'm like, I 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:50.400 could not think of anything fucking worse way to do it. 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:52.760 I dropped Minnie off and I'm like, catch you later. 0:06:53.240 --> 0:06:55.200 You would laugh. I know sometimes when I when I 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:56.919 pick up the kids from daycare, I'm like, I just 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:58.640 feel like I should give them a hug. 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:03.280 It's going to be okay. They're all real young and sprightly. 0:07:03.360 --> 0:07:05.479 Most of the time. They're like in the early twenties. 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:07.559 I find then there's like the odd older one who's 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:08.520 just cranky. 0:07:09.320 --> 0:07:12.080 It's just cranky. Now I get it around twenty of 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:12.760 them every day. 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:13.360 Yeah. 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:16.680 No, people always say that the kind of cliche. You know, 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.080 when you stop trying to find someone, you know, when 0:07:19.120 --> 0:07:21.160 you put that to the back of your mind, that's 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:24.520 when you'll meet the person for yourself. Were you in 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:26.480 a phase when you met Chumpy? Were you like I'm 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.320 looking for someone, or were you just like, no, running 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:30.760 your own, enjoying your life. 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:31.040 Yeah. 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:34.440 See, I was like twenty or like just turning twenty, 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.520 and I was so young and like I always wanted kids, 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:39.160 but I wasn't like frothing to have them at twenty one. 0:07:39.320 --> 0:07:41.200 I was like, yeah, five years or whatever. 0:07:41.560 --> 0:07:43.920 So I was just so keen to just be like 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:45.920 in love and run around the world and. 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:48.800 Just like travel and have fun, and like kids was 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:50.840 not on my mind. 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:51.200 Then. 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:54.400 Did you want to be in a relationship when you're yeah, yeah, yeah. 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.520 I was like, I'm I love this guy, like I'll 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.080 be I want to be with him forever. 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:00.760 Hopefully this is the guy I'm with. Hopefully this is 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:01.840 the guy I do have kids with. 0:08:02.200 --> 0:08:03.800 But I was like, we need to go spend so 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:07.040 many years having fun first, you know. But we did 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:09.440 start trying for our baby when I was like twenty six, 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:11.560 so we moved up to the gold Coat. We spent 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:14.400 like five years down in Sydney and then moved up 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.520 here when I was about twenty six. And as soon 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:19.760 as we bought this hot like my house up here 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:22.240 that I'd just sold where he started trying for a baby, 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:23.640 we got a dog and we were all like, yay, 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:25.200 this is out the next like chat date. 0:08:25.280 --> 0:08:28.800 Who approached the conversation first of like, let's have kids. Yeah. 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:32.520 I think I was probably keen like a year earlier 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:36.520 to start trying, and he was really career focused and 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:40.040 he had seen like his best mate have babies while 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.839 also snowboarding, because Chump was a snowboarder who traveled the 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:45.680 world snowboarding and he'd seen his best mate do that, 0:08:45.760 --> 0:08:47.520 and he was like, I just if I'm having a kid, 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:48.600 I want to be full time. 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:52.360 He was away like a lots at a time because of. 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:55.199 Winter and seasons. 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.080 Yeah, he was always like, if we're having kids, I 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:00.920 want to be one hundred percent like retire and fully 0:09:01.160 --> 0:09:03.440 like on you and the kid and not traveling and stuff. 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:08.160 So yeah, we were trying up until like he was like, 0:09:08.160 --> 0:09:10.320 we're new full pregnant, that's when I'll retire kind of thing. 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.400 So so yeah, but he was like getting to the 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.120 tail end of his career anyway, and he was ready 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:14.800 ready to retire. 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:17.160 So we were like, just yeah, having a crat. 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:18.760 So I just want to tell us a little bit 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:22.160 about where you met Chumpy and how you felt when 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:22.920 you first met it. 0:09:23.000 --> 0:09:26.440 Yeah, yeah, okay, so you're Worrywood my dad lived in Worrywood. 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:28.280 I also grew up in Worrywood, but my mom lived 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:30.960 in Narraban, which is a suburb next to Oriwood. So 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:33.240 I would like, me and my bro would like have 0:09:33.280 --> 0:09:35.640 dinner at mom's and we lived with our stepdad at 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.480 the time, and then we'd have dinner, and then I'd 0:09:37.480 --> 0:09:39.360 literally go for a run at night to my dad's, 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:41.200 go see him, have like dessert with him or whatever, 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:43.280 and then run back. That's how close my families lived 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:44.600 like in the suburbs next to each other. 0:09:45.200 --> 0:09:47.280 Chump, he was coming to Sydney a lot. 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:49.760 He's from Victoria, but he was coming to Sydney a 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:52.320 lot to train with that Nate that I was telling 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:52.920 you about before. 0:09:52.920 --> 0:09:53.760 He's best friend from. 0:09:53.640 --> 0:09:56.199 Snowboarding, because I grew up with Nate. He lived in 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:59.240 Mona Vale and like the next suburb over again. Chump 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:02.000 was kind of in peripher all like circles. Like we 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:03.360 had like a big girl group and there was a 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:09.439 big guy. We always just hung in the same circles. 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:11.120 We always knew each other. He actually always had a 0:10:11.120 --> 0:10:14.640 girlfriend who was overseas in Bulgaria and I yeah, so 0:10:14.679 --> 0:10:16.680 he already did long distance and. 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:17.520 Break up already. 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:21.800 Yeah, well I didn't even know howd a girlfriend actually 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:23.880 it was like a fan. Well, no, they were in 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:28.520 a serious, really nice, beautiful relationship, but she was like overseas, 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:30.120 so he'd always come back. We'd be like, oh, that 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.720 hot snowboarder guy's back kind of thing. But I always 0:10:32.720 --> 0:10:35.839 had a boyfriend too, So then me and him broke up. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.160 And then yeah, it was Laura en Ofver's twenty first birthday, 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:41.160 who's one of my best friends. And he came and 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:44.440 I was recently single, and I was like not thinking, 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:47.199 like I was still gutted from my last relationship ending, 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:50.760 and yeah he was there, and I think him and 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.439 his cheek were like finishing up. Yeah, we hooked up, 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:57.280 and I was just like just we would just kind 0:10:57.280 --> 0:10:59.840 of instantly obsessed, right. 0:11:00.000 --> 0:11:04.280 As people say opposites attract, but you guys opposite. 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.559 Or we're opposites. We are opposites for sure. 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:10.400 He's a very like i'd say, really smart, got his 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:13.920 head on his shoulders, driven kind of careery, kind of 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:19.920 like I on the prize, like very focused and perfectionist vibe. 0:11:20.200 --> 0:11:24.800 And I'm really blase, like whatever goes goes, like I'm cruising. 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.640 I'm not thinking too hard. I'm not thinking too hard 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:29.640 about tomorrow. I think about that tomorrow morning, like you 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:33.720 know what I mean. It works because he definitely made 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.240 me go, okay, ship, what am I doing? Okay, I'm 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:38.080 gonna start UNI and don't know, I got think about 0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:39.160 my life and what I'm doing and like. 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.960 Get my shit together a bit. And then I definitely 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:42.679 made him go. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:47.800 Fucking alas, like have a drink and have a lot, 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:52.079 Like he was like always chilling and happy, but like loosener. 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.360 Yeah, like you know, and I think a lot. 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:56.559 Of people think typical snowbody is probably. 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:59.800 A bong head, probably just probably just like. 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.040 People just thought he was like yeah, just hell cruisy 0:12:06.120 --> 0:12:09.280 and just like this athlete, just a hell grungy dude, 0:12:09.320 --> 0:12:09.920 like a dude do. 0:12:10.480 --> 0:12:11.640 And he's not that at all. 0:12:12.040 --> 0:12:17.520 More intelligent, super super intelligent, like doesn't switch off super 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:18.800 forward thinking business. 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:20.440 I'd say, when. 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:24.920 It comes to trying for kids, apparently I don't know this, 0:12:25.120 --> 0:12:28.600 but it does pay to adhere to a schedule, Yes, 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.160 to try it certain times of the month. Who was 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:35.240 leading the charge anybody? Yeah, it's all over it. 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:39.040 He wants to know who was ovulating. 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.960 He was definitely in check with like all right, what's 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:45.760 happening now? Like what day are we up to? 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:47.720 And shit, and like he was really excited to be 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:49.360 like I'm coming home. 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:50.600 I have in my head. 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:57.240 I actually don't think this is true, but I feel like. 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:56.200 This is just maybe. 0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:58.720 I'm like not, I'm not someone that thinks about sex 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:00.360 twenty four fucking seven, I'm not. 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:01.319 I'm actually not like that. 0:13:02.440 --> 0:13:09.920 Yeah, I feel like guys do, like some a lot 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:15.080 of guys do. He'd just always be like, fuck, yeah, 0:13:15.120 --> 0:13:15.560 are you on? 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:16.680 Like are you? Like? 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:18.840 Are we on this week? Like I'm coming home and 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:20.560 I'm like, fucking oath, We're on, Like I can't wait 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:21.880 to see you. Let's just bang. 0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:26.679 But like on on those particular weeks, he'd be extra. 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:29.560 Stoked, you know yeah, and then I'd be like after that, 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:34.200 fuck and I need a don't come here, you're going 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:35.520 back over nah? 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:35.800 Nah? 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:38.200 I mean like that's the beauty of long distance, right. 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.520 It's funny because if I get into another relationship ever 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:42.719 one day, I don't really want long distance, but I 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:46.280 do look back and just absolutely love the whole like, 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.360 oh my god, they are away, you miss them, You're 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.320 fucking lusting for them, and they get back, You're like, 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:53.160 fuck yeah, Like I can't wait to just like hug 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:54.320 and ship and see you. 0:13:54.800 --> 0:13:55.559 It's exciting. 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:57.880 Yeah, it always exciting. 0:13:57.920 --> 0:14:00.120 You're canning down. It's almost like, you know, yeah, the 0:14:00.120 --> 0:14:02.120 adult Christmas were like I get to see them in 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:03.960 a week and two nights and then you have a 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:08.360 little window together. Yeah. Sometimes I mean now like Laura 0:14:08.360 --> 0:14:09.800 and I will be on the couch and I'll just 0:14:09.800 --> 0:14:12.480 be scrolling on my phone, yeah, because we're just you know. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:16.640 Yeah, yeah, definitely, you definitely cherish the time that you 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:19.320 have with each other, and you're like, you know, they're 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:20.520 going in three days, You're not. 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:22.360 You're like fucking making the most of it. 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:25.000 Yeah, and then you're crying at the airport, but then 0:14:25.040 --> 0:14:27.320 you're like actually loving this space, get to get piece 0:14:27.360 --> 0:14:30.040 with the girls and just half my moment and coming back. 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:34.640 Yes, how long were you trying for until you're like, oh, 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:36.080 why isn't it happening? 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:37.880 Yeah, so we were nearly we were trying for nearly 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:40.520 a year, but I'd already been on the forefront and 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:42.960 going to my doctor going I mean, I reckon heaps. 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:44.640 The chicks think this, Oh my god. As soon as 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:45.720 I go off the pill, We're just going to fall 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:46.560 pregnant straight away. 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:49.640 So like yeah, I was like, yeah, so I was 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:51.960 like four months in. Why the fuck am I not 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:54.960 pregnant yet? So go to the doctor. 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.880 We do my am H testing, which we talk about 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:00.800 a lot of Yeah, so this is a you guys 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:04.280 have lots of girl listeners. Yeah, yeah, Okay, we talk 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:06.360 about this is really helpful on our podcast. 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:07.200 We talk about this a lot. 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:08.840 So if you're a young girl you want to start 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:10.960 trying for a baby and it's not working or whatever, 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:14.080 get this tested as early on as you can. And 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:17.160 a lot of doctors don't just do it. You kind 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:19.440 of really have to ask. So it's called getting your 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:23.840 am H tested, and they're your it's like your amount 0:15:23.840 --> 0:15:25.240 of eggs or your level of eggs. 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:25.680 OK. 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:28.680 So we got mind tested and you have to do 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:30.720 the blood test at a certain time in your cycle 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:33.520 or whatever. And it showed that I So I was 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:35.800 like twenty six or seven at the time, and my 0:15:35.880 --> 0:15:39.560 AMH was really low. The number was like two or three, 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.400 which it probably should have been like fifteen, and it 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:44.360 was on the scale. It was showing that I was 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:49.520 like close like my biological whatever was close to me 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.080 being like thirty eight or something rather than like twenty 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:55.280 eight or twenty seven. Okay, and it but what it 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:57.320 doesn't show is so don't want that to scare anyone, 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.800 because what it showed is my egg account was really 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.240 low for my age, and you can't grow more eggs. 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:03.880 So what you have is you're born with eggs and 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:05.800 each month you lose them, so you don't get more. 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:09.240 But the quality of them was really high. So that's 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:13.040 what we found out later when I started to do IVF. Yeah, 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:15.320 so you can have really high egg count but really 0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:17.360 shit quality eggs, which is why a lot of people 0:16:17.560 --> 0:16:19.240 miscarriage a lot or I mean, I don't want to 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.640 speak too much. I'm not a doctor obviously, but that's 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:23.360 when my doctor was like, you know what, this is 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.720 kind of unfortunate for your age. You have a really 0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.640 low egg count. Turns out, my best friend Chloe, who 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:30.880 I do the podcast with, has had it, also has 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:32.000 a really low egg count. 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:32.960 Strange. 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:36.280 She was like, you know what, keep trying till the 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.440 rest of the year and then let's start thinking about 0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:41.400 freezing your eggs. You're still really young, but let's start 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:43.560 thinking about doing IVF and freezing them. 0:16:43.560 --> 0:16:43.880 And shit. 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:47.960 Then but Chump passed away like a month later, after 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:50.280 we found out that my egg count was low. So 0:16:51.520 --> 0:16:55.200 I yeah, I did go on and do IVF and 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:58.240 like have his baby later. But yeah, I didn't really 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:00.680 imagine i'd be doing that. I I did think i'd 0:17:00.680 --> 0:17:02.280 be doing IVF, but I didn't think i'd be doing 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:02.840