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Speaker 1: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Tony

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Speaker 3: Lodge and joining me as always is Miss Victoria Divine. Hello, welcome,

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Speaker 3: so today's money diary. Obviously, as always, you haven't read

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Speaker 3: the email. You don't know anything about them, so frustrating. No,

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Speaker 3: and I think that people think it's a lie, but

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Speaker 3: genuinely you've got no idea what's coming. But I really

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Speaker 3: like this one. I think you're going to like it

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Speaker 3: all right?

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Speaker 4: Can you please read me the email so I can

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Speaker 4: get across it before we give her a buzz?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Hi there, hope you're doing well. How polite?

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Speaker 4: Isn't that nice.

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Speaker 3: I'm a twenty six year old girl and I've had

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Speaker 3: a bit of an unconventional upbringing. I'd be happy to

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Speaker 3: share my money story as I'm honestly obsessed with your podcast,

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Speaker 3: which we love.

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Speaker 1: We're obsessed with it.

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Speaker 4: Too, low key got tickets on ourselves.

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Speaker 3: I moved out of home when I was seventeen years old.

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Speaker 3: I had no savings and was planning to study in Sydney.

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Speaker 3: I'm from five hours outside of Sydney. I didn't have

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Speaker 3: a great home life, so wanted to get as far

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Speaker 3: away as possible. I'd been working since fourteen and nine

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Speaker 3: months to the day, but had really poor savings habits

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Speaker 3: as I was taught to live outside my means and

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Speaker 3: put things on credit. I got myself into significant personal

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Speaker 3: debt twenty four thousand dollars. It took me a couple

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Speaker 3: of years to pay it back, and now I have

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Speaker 3: approximately thirty two thousand dollars in my bank account. I

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Speaker 3: didn't even end up using the degree I went to

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Speaker 3: Sydney to study. I'm an open it it's waste away.

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Speaker 3: I'm an open book and happy to share anything. I

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Speaker 3: had some really dark times growing up, feeling very alone

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Speaker 3: and unsure how I could make ends meet. So if

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Speaker 3: this may help or inspire someone, then it would mean

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Speaker 3: a lot to me.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that's so sad. Our community is so sweet.

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Speaker 4: Let's get her on the phone, Tony. So we've got

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Speaker 4: our money diarist on the line right now.

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Speaker 1: Hello Money Diarist, Hi, thank you so much for choosing

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Speaker 1: my money diary.

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Speaker 4: Thank you for sharing your story with us. We are

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Speaker 4: so excited about this. Money diaries are literally one of

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Speaker 4: my favorite things. And the fact that our community and

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Speaker 4: you are so willing to share stories to help our

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Speaker 4: community grow and learn is it's just so special. So

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Speaker 4: how about we jump straight into our standard questions because

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Speaker 4: I want to learn so much about you and I

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Speaker 4: want to get straight into it. Is that Okay?

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Speaker 1: That sounds great? All right?

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Speaker 4: As always, the first question is what is your attitude

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Speaker 4: towards money?

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Speaker 5: So, growing up, I would probably describe myself as having

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Speaker 5: a bit of a flippant attitude towards money. My mum

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Speaker 5: always taught me that money is just money. It can

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Speaker 5: be replaced, but there might be an expiry date on

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Speaker 5: a sale or an experience that is irreplaceable. So I

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Speaker 5: think that really encouraged me to kind of live outside

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Speaker 5: of my means. I got my first job at fourteen

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Speaker 5: and nine months, and I started working a second job

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Speaker 5: as well when I was fifteen, so I kind of

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Speaker 5: always had enough money, like I could buy what I

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Speaker 5: wanted when I wanted to, So I think that also

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Speaker 5: maybe encouraged me a little bit never to plan for

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Speaker 5: the future.

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Speaker 1: My mom. My mom also didn't really.

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Speaker 5: See a problem with loans, so she would encourage me

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Speaker 5: to take loans off of her, and then she would

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Speaker 5: just put it on the credit card. And I was

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Speaker 5: always aware that you had to pay credit card loans back,

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Speaker 5: Like my mum would go a little bit crazy when

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Speaker 5: we were overdue, and I know, I just need to

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Speaker 5: pick up a few extra shifts to pay back my portion.

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Speaker 5: But I was never too concerned because I don't think

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Speaker 5: I really ever had a proper understanding of the repercussions

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Speaker 5: of bad debts. So I wouldn't say I didn't understand

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Speaker 5: the value of money, because I always like worked for everything,

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Speaker 5: But I guess I was just a bit naive about

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Speaker 5: money and especially like repercussions of debt. Now I would

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Speaker 5: say I have quite an anxious attitude towards money. I

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Speaker 5: constantly feel like it might just stry out at any

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Speaker 5: time and that I'll be left with nothing. So I

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Speaker 5: would say I'm still on the way to having a

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Speaker 5: really positive relationship with money. I still get quite nervous

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Speaker 5: and anxious when I think about it too much.

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Speaker 4: Ah, that's so common. I feel like sometimes if you've

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Speaker 4: been in this mindset of not understanding money to the

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Speaker 4: depth that you would want to, and then you start to,

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Speaker 4: it does give you matter anxiety, and we don't want that.

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Speaker 4: We're going to work through that. So next question is

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Speaker 4: what do you do for work and how much do

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Speaker 4: you earn? Money Diarist.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so at the moment, I'm on a very variable income.

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Speaker 5: I work as a waitress, lush bartender, and I do

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Speaker 5: private parties and functions. So bookings can be requested clothed

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Speaker 5: which is sixty an hour in laundry, or swimwear which

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Speaker 5: is eighty an hour, topless which is one hundred hour,

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Speaker 5: or nude, which is two hundred an hour.

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Speaker 4: That is not the type of waitressing. I thought you

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Speaker 4: were going.

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Speaker 1: To bed so excited. That's amazing.

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Speaker 4: I love that. And for those of you playing a

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Speaker 4: long moment, Money Diarist is actually on video with us today.

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Speaker 4: I can see why they would want that. I see

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Speaker 4: why you'd make sure.

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Speaker 5: That you're way too cut, You're way too generous today

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Speaker 5: it is I'm not wrong. So yeah, like, depending how

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Speaker 5: many bookings I get depends on my income for the week.

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Speaker 5: But since at the moment I'm only working Fridays and

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Speaker 5: Saturdays because I'm actually back studying part time at the moment,

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Speaker 5: I usually try to aim to make around fifteen hundred

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Speaker 5: a week before tax and super But obviously, due to

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Speaker 5: the nature of my work, sometimes my income can be

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Speaker 5: a little or even like radically more or less than

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Speaker 5: the fifteen hundred dollars a week mark, especially because it's

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Speaker 5: seasonal work. But I guess that's just like what I

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Speaker 5: aim for each week.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, And how did COVID impact your ability to earn

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Speaker 4: an income in this space?

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Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, COVID was literally a nightmare.

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Speaker 5: I was really fortunate that I had kind of sought

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Speaker 5: not financial advice, but I had it. I was always

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Speaker 5: taxing my money before all of this happened, so I.

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Speaker 1: Had like history of it, which yeah, which.

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Speaker 5: Meant that because I was self employed, I could actually

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Speaker 5: get on job keeper. So I was on job Keeper

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Speaker 5: all the time. Yeah, so I was super lucky, but

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Speaker 5: like the majority of my friends were just not in

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Speaker 5: that position, and it was a really stressful time. But

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Speaker 5: also for me at the time, like I was kind

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Speaker 5: of I'd gone on to this bigger income, but I was.

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Speaker 1: Just a victim of lifestyle creeps.

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Speaker 5: So I was paying like four hundred and fifty dollars

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Speaker 5: a week on rent and like job keeper that covered

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Speaker 5: the essentials and then everything else like I was just

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Speaker 5: using savings for which was like not an ideal situation.

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Speaker 5: I've definitely learned from a worldwide pandemic.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely. I actually have a few friends who do the

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Speaker 4: same job as you, and some of them do it

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Speaker 4: on the side of another job, and they definitely aren't

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Speaker 4: low key. They aren't paying tax on it. So I'm

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Speaker 4: really grateful that you were in a position where you were,

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Speaker 4: I guess smart enough to make sure that you were

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Speaker 4: taxing it and putting it into super and looking after yourself,

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Speaker 4: because that obviously meant that during COVID you had an

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Speaker 4: income which is literally priceless.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Absolutely, I think it's definitely like outweighed any amount I

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Speaker 5: would have paid on tax the amount that I got back,

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Speaker 5: So yeah, this is definitely worth it.

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Speaker 4: That's a money win. If ever I heard one or

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Speaker 4: what is your big money goal that you're currently working

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Speaker 4: towards at the moment.

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Speaker 5: I think, like every money diarist, my big money goal

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Speaker 5: is to buy a house. It was actually to buy

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Speaker 5: an apartment for so long, Like, I don't know why

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Speaker 5: I to see myself in an apartment, but I listened

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Speaker 5: to all of your podcasts and I know that that

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Speaker 5: would be a very questionable investment. So yeah, I think

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Speaker 5: stare house.

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Speaker 4: What necessarily you'll have to listen to the property playbooks

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Speaker 4: so we can guide you through that journey as well.

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Speaker 5: Yes, please, I'm up to date at the moment, but

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Speaker 5: I'm waiting for the episodes to come out.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, we've met our biggest fan.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, you are so kind.

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Speaker 1: Community.

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Speaker 4: All right, all right, next question, do you currently invest?

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Speaker 5: No, I don't have any investments, and I don't currently invest.

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Speaker 5: I am super keen to though, and it was in

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Speaker 5: my financial plan, like a plan i'd made for myself

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Speaker 5: to seek proper financial advice this year by like around

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Speaker 5: the fifteenth of July.

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Speaker 1: I would have had the money for it approximately the

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Speaker 1: fifteenth of July.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but yeah, obviously, like you just announced your platform woman,

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Speaker 5: Now I'm kind of thinking maybe that would be a

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Speaker 5: better option because I listened to like the podcast about it,

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Speaker 5: as said, until you hit like two hundred thousand, and

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Speaker 5: I definitely don't have that much, so I think maybe

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Speaker 5: I might like be starting there instead of like seeking

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Speaker 5: proper financial advice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely, it's it's definitely only investment advice, but I think

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Speaker 4: it's a really big hurdle to expect people to come

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Speaker 4: up with like three to six thousand dollars or three

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Speaker 4: to seven thousand dollars sorry to get investment advice. And

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Speaker 4: you know, when you're young, that's seven grand is so

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Speaker 4: much money that could be invested, And it was just,

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Speaker 4: you know, it's not micro investing, it's the next step.

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Speaker 4: And I think that it's a really good option for

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Speaker 4: people who are in a position where they want to invest,

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Speaker 4: but they're not willing to, you know, put three grand up,

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Speaker 4: because often that's what we're starting with.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think like finding the right financial advisor can

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Speaker 5: be so hard as well. Like a couple of years ago,

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Speaker 5: I actually tried to find one, and I thought I'd

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Speaker 5: found a really good one. I went in and I

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Speaker 5: felt like as soon as I started talking to him,

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Speaker 5: and he was asking me about my income, and I

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Speaker 5: was explaining, like, you know, I work. At the time,

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Speaker 5: I was working a strip club, and like I was

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Speaker 5: explaining to him my earning capacity I guess you could say,

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Speaker 5: because I was doing it full time. And he was like, well,

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Speaker 5: how much do you earn? And I was like, well,

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Speaker 5: I guess however much I want to earn. As hard

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Speaker 5: as I work basically, and it was just like okay, then, well,

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Speaker 5: like you know, I can give you a document, it's

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Speaker 5: going to cost you over ten grand and he said

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Speaker 5: it will be around eleven thousand dollars and I just

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Speaker 5: felt like he was taking me for a ride and

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Speaker 5: I ended up kind of saying no. And then he

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Speaker 5: was like, oh, I think I could do one for

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Speaker 5: two thousand dollars for you, and I was like.

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Speaker 1: That's such a significant press. I'm like yeah.

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Speaker 5: I just felt like he was like taking advantage of me,

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Speaker 5: and I like never never sought financial advice.

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Speaker 1: Again after that, and then rose yeah, and then.

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Speaker 5: I like found this podcast and that's when I started

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Speaker 5: like reconsidering it again. But like before that, I kind

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Speaker 5: of felt like I was like, oh, I'll never go

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Speaker 5: I'll never seek financial advice, Like you know, they live

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Speaker 5: up to reputation, is like how I felt in that

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Speaker 5: way them.

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Speaker 4: That breaks my heart because our industry does have some

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Speaker 4: bad eggs who are not doing the right thing, and

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Speaker 4: it really upsets me because there are so many good

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Speaker 4: advisors out there that just want to put you in

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Speaker 4: a better financial position, and the position you're in where

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Speaker 4: you actually have essentially unlimited earning capacity is really special,

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Speaker 4: especially at a young age. And I actually have a

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Speaker 4: number of clients who work in strict clubs and work

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Speaker 4: in roles like yours, and it's really important to get

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Speaker 4: advice when you're young and doing these roles, because unfortunately

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Speaker 4: these roles aren't going to last you till you're sixty five.

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Speaker 4: There's always that limitation on a career like this where

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Speaker 4: you have to make hay while the sun's shining and

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Speaker 4: invest well and talk to someone who can set you

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Speaker 4: up financially for the long term, because often we get

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Speaker 4: blinkers on when we're in roles like this, We get

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Speaker 4: blinkers on and we go, great, the money's so good,

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Speaker 4: like I'm fine, I can spend, when in reality you

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Speaker 4: might want to exit that industry for whatever reason when

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Speaker 4: you're thirty five and go, well, I want kids now,

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Speaker 4: I want a different lifestyle, or you might say, oh,

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Speaker 4: it's just not for me anymore. What am I going

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Speaker 4: to do next? And you really need, like you genuinely

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Speaker 4: need to be having these financial conversations with someone who

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Speaker 4: can say, hey, this is what it looks like. Here's

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Speaker 4: some forward planning. What are we going to do together?

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Speaker 4: So it breaks my heart that you didn't get that offering,

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Speaker 4: because honestly, some of my favorite clients are my strip

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Speaker 4: club clients because they're just fun people to be around.

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Speaker 4: Like they're missing out, they are missing out. You didn't,

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Speaker 4: my friend.

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Speaker 3: It's also a really good example of what we say

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Speaker 3: in the podcast a lot, like if you actually connect

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Speaker 3: with someone that you're not comfortable with, try and find

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Speaker 3: someone else and try and seek someone else out, or

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Speaker 3: chat to your friends or whatever, because it's actually just

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Speaker 3: not worth putting yourself in a position where you're talking

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Speaker 3: about finance, which for most people is quite a vulnerable

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Speaker 3: thing to be discussing with basically a complete stranger. And

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Speaker 3: if you don't feel that can it's just not worth

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Speaker 3: putting well putting yourself in that position, but paying money

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Speaker 3: to chat with someone about your money that you just

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Speaker 3: don't really connect with.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I just felt so because, like ironically,

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Speaker 5: if it were a doctor, for example, and I didn't

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Speaker 5: like them straight up, I would just leave and book

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Speaker 5: an appointment at the next the next doctor, like try

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Speaker 5: to go somewhere else, and I would feel comfortable to

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Speaker 5: do that. But I think I just felt so out

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Speaker 5: of my comfort zone even entering that space that when

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Speaker 5: I thought it didn't work, I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 5: it's me, Like it's not humans that I'm not right.

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Speaker 5: I should I think I just like had never even tried,

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Speaker 5: you know, asking someone.

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Speaker 1: I had no one to ask.

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Speaker 5: And then I just felt like I was like, oh, no,

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Speaker 5: it must not be for me, like I'm just not right,

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Speaker 5: like the right thing to do.

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Speaker 4: The case all. No, no, no, I think that that

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Speaker 4: is absolutely not the case. And it Yeah, as I

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Speaker 4: said before, it really breaks my heart that people are

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Speaker 4: not getting the advice that they deserve and they clearly

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Speaker 4: want because they have one negative experience. Because you then assume,

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Speaker 4: you know what, I'd heard so much about this industry.

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Speaker 4: I'd heard it was bad, and you know what, then

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Speaker 4: my experience was bad. So I'm just going to work

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Speaker 4: it out myself, and that's not what it should be.

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Speaker 4: Let's go into the next question, and that is do

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Speaker 4: you currently have any debts?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 5: I do, so I have almost fifty thousand dollars in

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Speaker 5: hex and students startup loans. I'm obviously not on sendal

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Speaker 5: Link anymore, but I was during my last degree and

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Speaker 5: I'm also not finished studying, so that figure is highly

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Speaker 5: concerning the last two financial years. I actually haven't been

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Speaker 5: paying my SUPER either, so since like twenty eighteen, twenty

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Speaker 5: nineteen that financial year. Sorry, I've been a sole trader

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Speaker 5: working in strict clubs or privately, and whilst I do

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Speaker 5: bank and pay tax on all of my money. When

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Speaker 5: I was talking to my tax agent, he kind of

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Speaker 5: explained SUPER to me in a way that kind of

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Speaker 5: made it seem optional and unnecessary because it's considered a

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Speaker 5: and tree contribution for me as a sole trader, and

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Speaker 5: he kind of explained like maybe my money would be

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Speaker 5: better spent on.

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Speaker 1: A house deposit or something.

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Speaker 5: So I owe my SUPER about twelve thousand dollars for

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Speaker 5: the last two years. Currently, I've paid back three thousand,

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Speaker 5: and I have a separate like upsaver called super with

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Speaker 5: another seven thousand in it. But I still have another

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Speaker 5: two thousand to save, and I should have that saved

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Speaker 5: by the fifteenth of June. But I, like I heard

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Speaker 5: you say on the Mini Investors sorry.

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Speaker 4: Specific I cannot wait to jump.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I remember you like saying that if a client

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Speaker 5: came to you with twenty thousand dollars and asked you

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Speaker 5: to invest it, then you would like drip bet it

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Speaker 5: into the market slowly. So that's what I'm like doing

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Speaker 5: with my super, even though I have no idea if

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Speaker 5: that's even remotely applicab ult to my situational but right,

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Speaker 5: I haven't like separately saved.

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Speaker 1: If that makes sense, you are coming for my job.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, like you know so much more about

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Speaker 3: money than me.

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Speaker 5: I don't know if it actually has any thing to

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Speaker 5: do with the super, but I just I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I was just trying.

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Speaker 4: Oh I love that. I love that, all right? What

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Speaker 4: is your best money habit?

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Speaker 5: I think my best money habit is being really motivated

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Speaker 5: and understanding and sticking to my goals. I think that

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Speaker 5: like anyone can do the mass to work out how

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Speaker 5: much to save in a certain timeframe, but I think

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Speaker 5: that having and keeping motivation is what distinguishes someone to

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Speaker 5: actually be able to put that money and keep it away,

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Speaker 5: because I think when you know your purpose, it's just

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Speaker 5: a lot easier to sacrifice for the bigger, more longer

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Speaker 5: term goals. So yeah, I think maybe my attitude attitude

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Speaker 5: in that regard.

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Speaker 4: That is so good, and it's something that is really

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Speaker 4: relevant as well, because we can all set goals, but

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Speaker 4: sticking to them is actually the hard part. Yeah, on

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Speaker 4: their flip side of that, what is your worst money habit?

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Speaker 5: My worst money habit is that when I get really

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Speaker 5: bad anxiety, I impulse by and I always buy things

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Speaker 5: that are like completely unnecessary. They're just to make myself

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Speaker 5: feel better, like clothing or makeup or skincare.

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Speaker 1: They're like my three weaknesses.

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Speaker 5: But I'm usually really good, Like I have a word

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Speaker 5: account set aside, and I'll only actually buy something I

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Speaker 5: want when I have the money for it.

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Speaker 1: But when I get bad anxiety.

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Speaker 5: Like like I'll just have a thousand dollars sitting in

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Speaker 5: a shopping cart and I'm just like trying to convince

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Speaker 5: myself not to buy it.

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Speaker 1: Day out issue.

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Speaker 4: Well, next time that happens, you.

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Speaker 2: Call me and I'll tell you not to buy it.

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Speaker 4: You can just slide into my DMS and I'll have

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Speaker 4: a chat with you.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing it again. End everything I'm trying by.

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Speaker 4: And if I asked you to give yourself a grade,

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Speaker 4: what would you grade your money habits?

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Speaker 1: I think I would give myself a C plus. Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, no, it mays to be higher than that.

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Speaker 5: I mean, my friend, I would have been like a

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Speaker 5: triple F minus if you asked me a few years ago.

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Speaker 5: But I feel like I feel like I'm on the

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Speaker 5: road at the moment, Like I feel like I'm midway,

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Speaker 5: like I'm passing now. I know where I want to be,

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Speaker 5: but I still have, like you know, my superdebt to

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Speaker 5: pay off. And I think once that's paid, and maybe

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Speaker 5: once I've like started investing and maybe sort some financial advice,

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Speaker 5: and I feel like I actually know where I'm going,

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Speaker 5: and then I'm still hopefully in credit, like like in

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Speaker 5: the positive balance. I think that's when I feel like

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Speaker 5: I'm approaching B to A.

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Speaker 4: I love that, and I really want to ask you

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Speaker 4: some more questions about that, but we're going to do

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Speaker 4: that straight after this quick break. All right, we are back,

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Speaker 4: and I just want to straight off the bat, ask you,

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Speaker 4: how did you start working in stump clubs? Where did

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Speaker 4: that come from? How did you make the transition? And

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Speaker 4: I guess what was your motivation and support in that space?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: For me, I guess it was like a series of

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Speaker 5: a whole lot of unfortunate events all occurring at the

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Speaker 5: exact same time.

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Speaker 1: So I'll try to start from the start. I'd started.

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Speaker 5: I'd just finished the first year of my second degree,

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Speaker 5: which is actually the one I'm currently studying now, and

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Speaker 5: it was the summer holidays, which like here in Australia,

400
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Speaker 5: we have a four month break, and I moved up

401
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Speaker 5: from New South Wales up to the Gold Coast to

402
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Speaker 5: work as a waitress in a strip club, so not

403
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Speaker 5: actually dancing. A friend of mine was actually dancing up there,

404
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Speaker 5: and she told me that I could make a lot

405
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Speaker 5: in tips if I started waitressing. And at the time,

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Speaker 5: i'd like spent the last two years working for jobs,

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Speaker 5: so I was working like around the clock seven days

408
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Speaker 5: a week, like sixteen twenty hour days, seven days a week.

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Speaker 5: So I was like terrified because I'd never even been

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Speaker 5: in a strip club, but it seemed like a more

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Speaker 5: sustainable option than what I was like currently doing. So anyhow,

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Speaker 5: I was waitressing five nights a week, sometimes six or

413
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Speaker 5: seven if I got caught in, and I was paying

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Speaker 5: off So this is also when I was in like

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Speaker 5: that twenty four thousand dollars worth of debt. I was

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Speaker 5: paying off my debt really quickly because I was on

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Speaker 5: a normal wage from the waitressing, so like seven hundred

418
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Speaker 5: dollars a week there, but then I was making about

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Speaker 5: a one thousand dollars a week on top of that

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Speaker 5: in tips.

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Speaker 4: Wow, that's so much funny.

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Speaker 5: It's pretty crazy, Like I had no idea that you

423
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 5: could make that much, and I managed to almost like

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Speaker 5: completely pay off that twenty four thousand dollars. I think

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Speaker 5: I had like maybe five thousand left to pay and

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Speaker 5: that would have equated to about four to five weeks

427
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Speaker 5: worth of work because I was banking all of my

428
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Speaker 5: tip money and paying off like my debt really quickly.

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Speaker 5: But UNI was about, yeah, UNI was about to restarting

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Speaker 5: New South Wales, and I knew that it would probably

431
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Speaker 5: take me like once two years to pay off that

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Speaker 5: money if I had to quit my job and go

433
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Speaker 5: back to just a normal casual job. And so I

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Speaker 5: decided to defer UNI. But when I did that, I

435
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 5: decided to finance a brand new car. So okay, I

436
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Speaker 5: got myself into another seventeen thousand dollars worth of debt

437
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Speaker 5: in a high interest loan.

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Speaker 2: You were like, I do all this money, so it's fine.

439
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Speaker 5: I know, I know, and I'm so mortified, like retelling

440
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Speaker 5: this story.

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Speaker 4: I don't mean now I have a journey. It's Okay,

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Speaker 4: I feel like so many people are so hard on

443
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 4: themselves about decisions the past you made, and it doesn't

444
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,400
Speaker 4: serve you. It doesn't help you to be nervous or

445
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,560
Speaker 4: upset about a decision that you've made historically because you've

446
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,120
Speaker 4: already done telling me now exactly you've already done it.

447
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 4: But by feeling bad about it, what you're telling me

448
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 4: is you've learned and you've grown and you actually know

449
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 4: better now, so it's not a bad thing at all.

450
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,640
Speaker 4: That taught you a lot.

451
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true. That is true.

452
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think getting a brand new car, especially putting

453
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 5: it on finance, like I know, now that's a really

454
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 5: bad idea. But I'd had a really terrible experience with

455
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 5: the last car that I bought, which was like a

456
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 5: secondhand car. I'd just been totally stitched up, like everything

457
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 5: needed replacing on this car. So I, yeah, I thought

458
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:23,640
Speaker 5: that buying a new car would end up being more economical,

459
00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 5: and I like really desperately needed a car. It didn't

460
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 5: have to be new, but I needed a car because

461
00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,159
Speaker 5: for the last couple of months over the summer, I'd

462
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,159
Speaker 5: been getting public transport to and from work, which for me,

463
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 5: it was like a twenty five minute walk to the

464
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 5: bus stop and then a forty minute bus ride to

465
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,639
Speaker 5: the tram station and then like a trans and the

466
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 5: car noble.

467
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 1: It was on the way back.

468
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 5: Like on the way to work, that's fine, it's just

469
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 5: public transport, but on the way back, I would like

470
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,320
Speaker 5: finish work.

471
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,359
Speaker 1: Around three am.

472
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 5: Sometimes fourth it was like a Friday or Saturday, and

473
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,880
Speaker 5: the trams don't start running, So the trams don't start

474
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,720
Speaker 5: till like six fifteen and the buses don't. My bus

475
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 5: didn't come till seven thirty in the morning, so I'd

476
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 5: like finish work and then walk down to the beach

477
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 5: and just like sleep on the sand for like a

478
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 5: few hours because it was like more comfortable than a

479
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 5: park bench. And then I'd like walk back to the

480
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 5: train station. I'd like send the lamp like six point

481
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,840
Speaker 5: thirty on my phone and then like walk back and then.

482
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 4: It is so dangerous.

483
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 1: It was, yeah, it was.

484
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 5: It was so exhausting, Like I cannot explain how tired

485
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 5: I was all the time because I was doing this

486
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 5: literally every night, and like there's brown snakes on the

487
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:29,919
Speaker 5: beach as well, and like you just to be careful,

488
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 5: like there's a lot.

489
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,360
Speaker 1: Of bad stories.

490
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 5: So like, I, yeah, it was like a priority to

491
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,399
Speaker 5: get some mode of transport.

492
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 4: I would have played for you if.

493
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,440
Speaker 2: I knew that that's what you were doing.

494
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Like that is very is crazy, And

495
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 4: to be honest, as much as i'm I'm super grateful

496
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 4: that you're not doing that now. It's so dangerous to

497
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 4: do that. But I can see why. One, buying a

498
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 4: car was a decision you made, but two, at the time,

499
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,200
Speaker 4: you probably felt like you didn't really have any other option.

500
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 4: You feel like it was necessary in your situation, right,

501
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,119
Speaker 4: Like nobody does these things because they're like, oh, it

502
00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,760
Speaker 4: doesn't matter, Like I don't mind. I'm so wealthy, I

503
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,800
Speaker 4: can afford to get Newbrah. I'm just not going to

504
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 4: Like you just felt like that was the only option

505
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 4: you had.

506
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, I definitely did. I just I didn't really feel

507
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 5: like I had. I just I didn't know anyone there,

508
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 5: Like I didn't have any help sort of thing. And

509
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,840
Speaker 5: I thought I could pay it back really quickly, so

510
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 5: I didn't think that it would be that bad. But

511
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 5: it was literally ten days after I bought the car,

512
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 5: I actually got fired from my job. Oh yeah, And

513
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 5: that just totally broke me, like it was so ridiculous

514
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 5: as well. It was literally just I was about a

515
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 5: decade younger than the majority of girls at this particular

516
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 5: club that I was working out where I was waitressing.

517
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,440
Speaker 5: And for anyone that doesn't know, the dancers actually aren't

518
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:51,439
Speaker 5: on a wage. They pay to be there, and then

519
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 5: the waitresses are obviously on a wage, but they don't.

520
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,719
Speaker 5: They aren't able to earn anywhere near as much as dancers,

521
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 5: so I think they were getting a bit upset I

522
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:01,719
Speaker 5: was maybe getting a bit more attention and a bit

523
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 5: more tips.

524
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 1: Than them, so they just asked me to be removed.

525
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 5: And yeah, the specific girl that did was actually having

526
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 5: an affair with the owner.

527
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,000
Speaker 1: So literally the next day I got fired. Yeah.

528
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 4: Rama, there is so much tea in this podcast this week.

529
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 1: This is literally a Netflix show. Oh my god.

530
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 5: It was crazy, Like I literally just rocked up to

531
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 5: work and I got fired the next day and then, yeah,

532
00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 5: I literally it just broke me, Like I just deferred UNI.

533
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,600
Speaker 5: I'd just taken out this huge loan and I still

534
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,680
Speaker 5: had a couple of grand to pay over my last loan,

535
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 5: and like I just lost the best source of income

536
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 5: I'd basically ever had and I was so devastated, and

537
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 5: like in the past, I'd been working for jobs and

538
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,400
Speaker 5: I was actually making like sixteen to seventeen hundred dollars

539
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 5: a week, and all of my employers knew that I

540
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 5: had four jobs, but I thought that because of that,

541
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,679
Speaker 5: I was being taxed properly, but I actually wasn't. So

542
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,800
Speaker 5: I had a few thousand dollars owing to the ATO,

543
00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 5: and so I felt like if I got multiple jobs

544
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 5: again and I would just end up in more debt again,

545
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 5: and so that just didn't feel like an option to

546
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 5: get multiple jobs. And because I deferred UNI, I was like,

547
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 5: oh my god, like I have to make this worth

548
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 5: something like this can't. Like I just felt like I

549
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 5: was constantly redefining rock Poto and I was like, there

550
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,160
Speaker 5: has to be something come from this. So I just

551
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 5: like I was sitting in my car like crying because

552
00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,439
Speaker 5: I'd just been fired, and I was like, I've got

553
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,000
Speaker 5: to start dancing, Like I just have to do it.

554
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,439
Speaker 1: Just is what it is. I have to start dancing.

555
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 5: So I was like living on the Gold Coast and

556
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:31,439
Speaker 5: I applied for a job up in Brisbane literally to

557
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 5: like my trial was like two nights later. And yeah,

558
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 5: that's basically how it started, and you wouldn't actually believe

559
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 5: that the first day. So, like I went to my

560
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 5: job in they do like a trial job interview thing,

561
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 5: and I drove up to Brisbane. I actually left like

562
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 5: two and a half hours. It only takes like an

563
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,479
Speaker 5: hour and a half to get to Brisbane. Max, I'm

564
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,199
Speaker 5: for you. Yeah, I'm like sitting in my car, just

565
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 5: like you know, touching out my makeup, like thinking about

566
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 5: what I'll say before I go in.

567
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 4: There was such a car, why wouldn't you.

568
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm like sitting down and out of nowhere this

569
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:10,120
Speaker 5: car Tea Bonnes my car, and I'm like parked. Yeah,

570
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 5: it was my friend new car. I'm parked and I

571
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 5: was about to go into my interview. A car Tea

572
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,560
Speaker 5: bwnes me. And then he gets out and starts abusing

573
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 5: me because like I was parallel parked in front of

574
00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 5: a big white band, so he didn't see my car

575
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 5: and he thought it was a car spot. So he's

576
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,680
Speaker 5: like racing like down the main road. Oh my god,

577
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 5: I know. Like thankfully I didn't actually have to end

578
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 5: up paying anything, but it was like an insurance nightmare

579
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 5: because he didn't have insurance, and yeah, it.

580
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 1: Was just one thing for another.

581
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 5: I ended up getting the jump though, so it's like,

582
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:44,520
Speaker 5: oh for that, and then mom, Yeah, when I was dancing,

583
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 5: I was working five nights a week, I reckon, I

584
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 5: was probably making around two and a half grand up

585
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 5: in Brisbane a week, and I was just funneling all

586
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 5: of my money into that debt like I was. You

587
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 5: would never have known I was making that kind of money.

588
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,719
Speaker 5: Like I was living in a house with six people

589
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,880
Speaker 5: and like two dogs and had a mattress that I've

590
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,360
Speaker 5: like gotten off the side of the road. But all

591
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 5: of my money, I was just putting it all to

592
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 5: pay off that debt. And then I just told myself

593
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 5: when I paid it back, I was like, I will

594
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,199
Speaker 5: never get into debt again. And I've never gotten a

595
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,480
Speaker 5: credit card since, and I like am trying to like

596
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 5: rehabilitate my learning. But yeah, there's definitely like a lot

597
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 5: of just like crazy stories where I've made some you know,

598
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,160
Speaker 5: stupid mistakes out of pure stupidity.

599
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:33,640
Speaker 4: That's not stupid and bad luck. I feel like this

600
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 4: is a story that you know, I'm listening he along,

601
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 4: being like and what next. The underlying I guess theme

602
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 4: of this is so many people would have given up,

603
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 4: so many people would bury their head in the sand

604
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 4: and not do anything about their financial situation. And I

605
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 4: see it all the time. People then spiral into more

606
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 4: debt or you know, go back to you know, a

607
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 4: different job that pays not as much. And you know,

608
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 4: this isn't an option for everybody, and it's not a

609
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 4: choice that everybody would make. And that's okay. But what

610
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 4: I'm saying is you're just so tenacious. You're like, no,

611
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 4: I'm going to get it done, and this is how

612
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 4: I'm going to do it because.

613
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 3: And I'm not taking no for an answer.

614
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 4: Yeah I'm not having it. And I just love that,

615
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 4: Like you just come across as this person that I

616
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 4: want to know, Like I just want to know you

617
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 4: and your story and just so cool.

618
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 2: Please, I literally want to buy your coffee.

619
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 1: This is the coolest story of it.

620
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 5: I think, like, I think I used to be kind

621
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 5: of a bit like I am now, But I definitely

622
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 5: went through a phase I think, especially when I started dancing,

623
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,880
Speaker 5: where I was really disconnected and like really dissociating. I

624
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 5: think like I was definitely pushing myself into a place

625
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 5: that I probably wasn't comfortable, and now I'm super comfortable,

626
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 5: Like I'm in this industry voluntarily and I love it,

627
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:54,239
Speaker 5: and I have awesome friends from it and stuff, and

628
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 5: it's absolutely undoubtedly changed my life. But I think at

629
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 5: the time I to get by, I was doing anything

630
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 5: to get by, so like I really started to lose

631
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 5: myself because like I would go to work and I

632
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 5: would see other girls making money and I wouldn't be

633
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 5: making money, which I think.

634
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 1: A lot of girls go through that way.

635
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 5: You know that you could have a night where you

636
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 5: don't make something, and then the next night you pull

637
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 5: three grand, like you just don't know what's going to happen,

638
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:23,880
Speaker 5: And like I would start lying to get the customers,

639
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 5: like I would do anything whatever I need, and I

640
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 5: got good at it. But you start to like lose

641
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 5: yourself as a person, especially when you're doing it so

642
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 5: many nights a week. So I think it's taken like

643
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 5: a few years to like rebalance myself so that I'm

644
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 5: a bit more of like a I don't know, I

645
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 5: guess it's like a balanced person in general, instead of

646
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,240
Speaker 5: like either having to live at one end of the

647
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 5: extreme of the spectrum, like from a personality point.

648
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: Of view, yeah.

649
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 4: Wow, So how did you start finding yourself again? Because

650
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 4: regardless of the situation, I think that a lot of

651
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 4: people when it comes to finances do find themselves feeling

652
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 4: a little bit lost and doing the things that they

653
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 4: feel like they have to do to get by. What

654
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 4: were the steps that you were taking to I guess

655
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 4: refined yourself and you know, gain that confidence back.

656
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess it's a really good question.

657
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 5: I think some of it comes from privilege of getting

658
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 5: to a point where I actually wasn't in desperate need

659
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,200
Speaker 5: of the money, if that makes sense. So I had

660
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 5: gone from years of being in like significant amounts of

661
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 5: debt and I was so desperate for money that I

662
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 5: would do anything for that money. But then I got

663
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 5: to a point where I actually could say no. And

664
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 5: I think in that industry, it's about learning your boundaries

665
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 5: and that can take a really long time. Because I

666
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 5: think women in general, I mean all people in our society,

667
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 5: but specifically women, like we're socialized to be polite and

668
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 5: not to be outspoken and not to be not to

669
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 5: be an inconvenience, and if there's any uncomfortable in a

670
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,760
Speaker 5: situation where taught that we need to harbor that uncomfortability

671
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 5: and make everyone around us feel comfortable and feel good,

672
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,640
Speaker 5: and specifically men like, I feel like our position in

673
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 5: society sometimes is just to enable men. And when you're

674
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 5: socialized like that, and then you go into an environment

675
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:23,360
Speaker 5: that can be extremely exploitative of women, and you're in

676
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 5: an environment where it is a boys will be boys' atmosphere,

677
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,719
Speaker 5: and then they like. The way I would describe it

678
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 5: is if someone can take something from you, they will,

679
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 5: so you know, they'll cut your grass if you're getting

680
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 5: a customer. But men like, if you're not constantly asserting yourself,

681
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 5: you will be taken advantage of at every opportunity because

682
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 5: if you don't say no, they will assume it's yes.

683
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 5: So I think slowly learning what my boundaries are and

684
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 5: not just that, like I think I always knew my boundaries,

685
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 5: but learning how to assert them was really it was challenging.

686
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 5: It probably genuinely took me about a year and a half.

687
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,080
Speaker 5: Like of and like like, you will get sexually assaulted

688
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 5: if you don't tell someone no, because they will just

689
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 5: keep assuming it's yes. And even if you are telling

690
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 5: them no, they'll keep going until you were oh, and

691
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 5: you'll just sit there and cop it, And I think

692
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,200
Speaker 5: it's so easy for people to say, like, oh, well,

693
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 5: why didn't you just tell them no? Like, why didn't

694
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 5: you just walk away? It's just not that easy, especially

695
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,800
Speaker 5: when like the last No, if you're in that situation,

696
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 5: you never act how you think you'll act. And I think,

697
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 5: especially because I'd just been fired from my last job

698
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,479
Speaker 5: so unjustly, I was so scared to tread on anyone's

699
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 5: toes as well. So I guess like learning of boundaries

700
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 5: and like I remember one of my first shifts. It

701
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 5: was actually when I was waitressing. It was one of

702
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 5: my first years waging, and I was walking through the

703
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 5: club and waitresses are completely clothed. They don't take their

704
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 5: clothes off, they don't They literally just get drinks for customers,

705
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 5: like they don't really interact with customers in the same

706
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 5: way that an actual dancer would.

707
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,520
Speaker 1: And I had a guy.

708
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 5: I was just walking through like with a tray of drinks,

709
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 5: and a guy slapped me on the bum and I

710
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 5: kind of just like turned around and was like a

711
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 5: bit shocked, and then I just like kept kept walking

712
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 5: and the head waitress saw it and she grabbed me

713
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 5: and she turns back with that guy, and she was

714
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 5: just like, what the hell did you just do? Except

715
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 5: she was like using a few more profanities. She was like,

716
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 5: did you just slap like my waitress on the bum?

717
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,759
Speaker 5: And he was just like oh oh, oh, no no,

718
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,000
Speaker 5: and she like, actually I think that you did, but

719
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 5: I think you just did. And he was just like

720
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:30,839
Speaker 5: oh oh. And she's like, are you going to give

721
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 5: us some money for that? And he was just like

722
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 5: oh oh, and he like he was so speechless, and

723
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 5: she was just like, you better take fifty dollars and

724
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 5: put it in her titture right now. And he was

725
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 5: just like oh. And she was like, if you're going

726
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,279
Speaker 5: to touch a dancer, you pay. If you want to

727
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 5: touch my waitress, you better be willing to pay, and

728
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 5: like she was getting so mad at him, and that

729
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 5: was like made me realize, like, oh, you can say no,

730
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 5: like you actually have power. Yeah, you're in the pat

731
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:57,880
Speaker 5: And then yeah, it took like a year and a

732
00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 5: half to like rehabilitate my mindset to get to a

733
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 5: point where I'm like, yeah, I have power in this situation.

734
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 1: I am in control of it. And I think when

735
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 1: you learn you've.

736
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 4: Got girl, oh my god, it's so motivating.

737
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think like learning to assert your boundaries is

738
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 5: when like things started to change for me.

739
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 4: I really love the confidence that you have now, and

740
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:24,239
Speaker 4: I think it's really important, regardless of what industry or

741
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,239
Speaker 4: aspect during Like, asserting your boundaries is so important for

742
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 4: your mental health, your physical health, and your ability to

743
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,520
Speaker 4: generate an income. And sometimes we just let people get

744
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 4: away with things because we feel like, oh, like I

745
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 4: don't want to tread on someone's toes because I need

746
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 4: the money or I really need this job. And to

747
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 4: be honest, like you are, so you are worth so

748
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 4: much more than that, and you know, it breaks my

749
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 4: heart that you know, I'm so grateful that you're out

750
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 4: of this situation. But what I know for sure is

751
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 4: there's other girls in exactly the situation You're going through

752
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,839
Speaker 4: exactly the same things at this point, and I guess

753
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 4: it's I guess it's probably a good last question for you,

754
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 4: is you know, if you could talk to past you,

755
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 4: what would you tell her and what would you tell

756
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 4: people that are going through that situation at the moment?

757
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 4: How can they see the I guess light at the

758
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 4: end of the tunnel, because you don't necessarily know at

759
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 4: that stage what you're even looking for.

760
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, definitely I would say that, like.

761
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 5: It does get better and you can do it, and

762
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 5: like anything is possible if you have enough nerve, Like

763
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 5: you just need to keep fighting because like it always

764
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 5: does get better, and like focus on your goals and

765
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 5: let anything else that comes in and out of your

766
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:46,480
Speaker 5: life until you reach your goal. Just let it be

767
00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 5: water under the bridge and just know that, like you

768
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 5: did what you needed to do to get where you

769
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 5: wanted to be, and like that's okay, And like you

770
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 5: always say it on the podcast, like comparison is the

771
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 5: thief of joy, and it totally is. Like I think

772
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 5: it's so easy, especially as a youngster and especially like

773
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 5: in the era of social media, to just constantly compare

774
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 5: yourself and just be like why, like why can't I

775
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 5: have that life? Like why wasn't that mine? Like why

776
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 5: couldn't that have happened to me? And like it's so

777
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 5: easy to focus on what you don't have, but like,

778
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:21,120
Speaker 5: like I think that like you can do it, and

779
00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 5: like whatever you're going through, like it just does get better.

780
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, that that is so inspired.

781
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:32,200
Speaker 1: Ah. Honestly, this is such a great money diary and.

782
00:37:32,719 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 4: I love your story. I love you, I love everything

783
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:39,240
Speaker 4: you stand for. And it's just we need these stories.

784
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 4: We need to understand other people's experiences and what they

785
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 4: go through, to understand that our journeys aren't linear and

786
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 4: they're never going to be the same, and we can

787
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 4: learn something from everybody's journey. And it's just, you know,

788
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 4: it makes me feel so grateful that we've got the

789
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 4: shoes on the money community because we get to do

790
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 4: that through this, and you guys are so generous with

791
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 4: your stories and it just it makes my heart so full.

792
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 1: But you're so welcome.

793
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 5: Thank you so much for like giving me space to

794
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 5: like talk to people like that.

795
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,320
Speaker 1: That's really special.

796
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 3: I just also feel really grateful to hear your story

797
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 3: from a narrative that isn't spoken about very often.

798
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,399
Speaker 4: And it's a.

799
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 3: Job that people are probably scared, like it's like you

800
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 3: can't ask that, and people, you know, are afraid of

801
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 3: different things to what they know. And I think it's

802
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 3: really an important story to share that people are going

803
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 3: to hear that and realize the hustle and like the

804
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,600
Speaker 3: personal strength and power that it takes to be any

805
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 3: type of person, let alone like an industry that you

806
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,320
Speaker 3: don't hear much about. So I just truly from the

807
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 3: bottom of my heart, like, thank you so much for

808
00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 3: reaching out, because I think it's a really important story

809
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 3: for people to hear from this perspective.

810
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 4: So I agree. And it's funny because that industry is

811
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 4: always really looked down upon, and throughout my journey as

812
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 4: a financial advisor and growing Sheese on the Money, some

813
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 4: of the best women I've ever met have been in

814
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 4: that industry. Like they are the most open women. They

815
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:13,279
Speaker 4: are so accepting of everybody's journeys and stories. They are

816
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:16,360
Speaker 4: going to have your back in every single situation, and

817
00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 4: I think that that comes from them having experienced other

818
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,799
Speaker 4: people not having it for them. And you know, I

819
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 4: think it's so unfair that this industry has such a

820
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 4: negative connotation because the women in it are to Boston

821
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:30,840
Speaker 4: so beautiful.

822
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:32,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes me so sad.

823
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 5: Like I think Hollywood has definitely like thrown us under

824
00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 5: the bus there. We're always to trade as like crazy

825
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 5: drug addicts that just like you know, would swap that

826
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,760
Speaker 5: you know for work, which like it's just so untrue,

827
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 5: especially in Australia. Like I think a lot of us

828
00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 5: just like haven't had you know supportive families or haven't

829
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,799
Speaker 5: grown up with families and stuff, and so we all

830
00:39:56,200 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 5: have a new found appreciation for like women and like

831
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 5: the friendships with women. And I think like when people

832
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:06,720
Speaker 5: say things like, you know, you're better than.

833
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 1: This industry and stuff, I'm like, well, that's because you.

834
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 5: Don't know this industry like you've you've never taken the

835
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:15,359
Speaker 5: time to learn, Like, yeah, that's so.

836
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 4: It's so sucky because it's exactly like financial advice, right,

837
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,720
Speaker 4: Like you've had an experience with an advisor, so therefore

838
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 4: you're like everybody's bad, when in reality, it's the minority

839
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 4: of women in that industry that are making a bad name,

840
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 4: but they're the ones that get the press, right.

841
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, that's it. That's it.

842
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. Well, thank you so much for joining us.

843
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,799
Speaker 4: I'm genuinely so grateful for your story, and I know

844
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 4: we're going to be friends for a long time now.

845
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,520
Speaker 1: Oh I hope. So thank you so much for having me.

846
00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it.

847
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,839
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

848
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 3: We really really appreciate it.

849
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 4: We really do. It's been such an eye opening conversation

850
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 4: and I feel like you took us really left field,

851
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 4: but I'm so grateful for that. But that is obviously

852
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 4: all we have time for today. So before we go,

853
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,000
Speaker 4: we'd like to acknowledge and pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal

854
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 4: and Torres Strait Islander people's. They're the traditional custodians of

855
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 4: the lands, the waterways and the skies all across Australia.

856
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,239
Speaker 4: We thank you for sharing and for caring for the

857
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 4: land which we are able to learn. We pay all

858
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 4: respects to elders past and present, and we share our

859
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 4: friendship and our kindness.

860
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,880
Speaker 3: The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally

861
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 3: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on

862
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 3: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not

863
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,240
Speaker 3: be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

864
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:39,239
Speaker 3: And we promise Victoria Devine is an authorized representative of

865
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 3: Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN three four one

866
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:46,919
Speaker 3: three two four six three two five seven AFSL three

867
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 3: three nine one five to one. And if you have

868
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 3: a money Dara yourself that you would like to share

869
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 3: with us, we would love it if you got in

870
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 3: contact at Hello at shesothemoney dot com dot au.

871
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 4: Absolutely, we will see you next week. From Money Dairy

872
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:00,680
Speaker 4: Guys

873
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:10,840
Speaker 1: M