Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money. Hello, and
Speaker 3: welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials
Speaker 3: who want financial freedom. Today my loves it is Friday,
Speaker 3: which means Jess and I are here together to celebrate
Speaker 3: you ow incredible. She's on the Money community. Today, we're
Speaker 3: going to be sharing our favorite money wins. We're going
Speaker 3: to be helping to answer juice money dilemma, which this
Speaker 3: week is all about cheating on or breaking up with
Speaker 3: your mortgage. Broke it in pursuit of a better deal.
Speaker 3: You bitch didn't see it coming. No, And we unpacked
Speaker 3: something that is slid into our DMS. About this week,
Speaker 3: we're talking about a fiance having a secret credit card
Speaker 3: which has been completely maxed out. So to kick us
Speaker 3: off this week again, we are sans Beck because she
Speaker 3: is not well. And also where are we New Orleans?
Speaker 3: That's what I thought, so like, it's not actually that
Speaker 3: practical because Beck's in Australia. We're in New Orleans. So
Speaker 3: we figured we'd just like whip this one out. Jessica,
Speaker 3: how was New York?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, New York was amazing. We had the
Speaker 2: best time to stay bagels, We ate bag we ate pizza,
Speaker 2: We went to Broadway, we lived the dream. We recorded
Speaker 2: some fun podcasts which we did.
Speaker 3: We have so many guests International baby so fancy.
Speaker 2: We got to have a look at Square Space, have
Speaker 2: a chat to there.
Speaker 3: We went to the head office and I did a
Speaker 3: whole like financial literacy workshop with them, which I am
Speaker 3: genuinely so passionate about. But also, jess I did a
Speaker 3: financial literacy workshop.
Speaker 2: In New York.
Speaker 3: How cool? So big dog.
Speaker 2: And anyway, now this week we've been in New Orleans.
Speaker 2: We've been at fin Corn, which has been super fun.
Speaker 3: We came last year and I feel like you and
Speaker 3: I left last year feeling so motivated. Yeah, to like smash.
Speaker 3: She's on the money out of the water for the
Speaker 3: next twelve months, and I feel like this year was
Speaker 3: just like a no brainer for us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're really excited. You're doing a keynote. I'm on
Speaker 2: a panel, which is really fun, and we just get
Speaker 2: to hang out with some of our friends from home.
Speaker 3: My keynote is tomorrow, which is a little bit scary
Speaker 3: because I've never done an international keynote.
Speaker 2: She's going up in the world.
Speaker 3: I'm loving this. This is so wild.
Speaker 2: If you want us to fly to your country and
Speaker 2: get talk hit us up would be very expensive though,
Speaker 2: it would be very expensive, but also very fun.
Speaker 3: I'll do it anyway. We'll do it on zoom on
Speaker 3: zoom totally. Alright. So we have had honestly pretty good weeks.
Speaker 3: Like when it comes to a work week, Jess, has
Speaker 3: there been better?
Speaker 2: I don't think so.
Speaker 3: No, neither. Oh. Actually, remember the time we went to Disneyland,
Speaker 3: of you know what?
Speaker 2: That was pretty good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, we don't really do work it. She's on
Speaker 3: money too. All right, let's get into it. I know
Speaker 3: you have a number of community money wins. Even though
Speaker 3: we are international guys, we are still creeping on what
Speaker 3: is going on back home. So Jess, what are your
Speaker 3: favorite community money wins of the week this week?
Speaker 2: First money win this week I have comes from Tara
Speaker 2: who said I was the first caller to read the
Speaker 2: radio station when they hear the cuter call, I want
Speaker 2: one hundred.
Speaker 3: Dollars cash money win. Love that money win. That never happens.
Speaker 2: I feel like I never hear about people winning those things,
Speaker 2: so that was just really exciting for me.
Speaker 3: I mean I hear all the time because, like Jess,
Speaker 3: our studio back in Melbourne is literally in a radio station. True,
Speaker 3: but the phones go off the hook. Like sometimes if
Speaker 3: you're walking past the studio you can kind of see
Speaker 3: the switchboards light up. Remember when they were giving away
Speaker 3: Taylor Swift tickets or they broke the phones.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like it literally just stopped functioning, which I don't
Speaker 2: blame you.
Speaker 3: And all of them were like calling reception and reception.
Speaker 3: Josh a reception was literally like can you not, Like
Speaker 3: I can't get you tickets.
Speaker 2: I can't help you. If I could get tickets, I
Speaker 2: would be getting the ticket.
Speaker 3: And Josh like I didn't even get tickets go Away.
Speaker 2: Next, I got I'm on even in from Tigan, who
Speaker 2: said the tire repair shop didn't charge me for my
Speaker 2: puncture repair.
Speaker 3: Oh that's really kind.
Speaker 2: Small and really sweet. Tina said, I decided to look
Speaker 2: into solar panels for our home. Who knew, not only
Speaker 2: can you put them on a payment pan with no interest.
Speaker 3: Fees, I didn't know, there's also.
Speaker 2: Government rebates from one to three thousand dollars off the panels.
Speaker 3: Oh, money win.
Speaker 2: We saved twenty eight hundred dollars with our government rebate,
Speaker 2: and it will reduce our power bill from seven hundred
Speaker 2: dollars to around three hundred, maybe even less, which is
Speaker 2: potentially saving US eighteen hundred dollars over the year.
Speaker 3: Money win. I love this.
Speaker 2: Love that she did the mask stunning. I've got a
Speaker 2: money win from Samantha, who said I've been listening to
Speaker 2: She's on the Money for a little while now, and
Speaker 2: this week I finally downloaded my first investing app and
Speaker 2: then in brackets She's got chares Is obviously, and I
Speaker 2: invested for my very first time.
Speaker 3: Congratulations, my angel, you're an investor now. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm in my late thirties, so I feel a bit
Speaker 2: late to the potting, but better to start now than
Speaker 2: not at all.
Speaker 3: Also, did you use the code SotM to get a
Speaker 3: free ten dollars when you signed up?
Speaker 2: I hope so. How exciting, Samantha West, that's amazing, proud
Speaker 2: of you.
Speaker 3: I love this.
Speaker 2: Next, Laurence said, I picked this up free from the
Speaker 2: curb and I've got a happy little man. And it's
Speaker 2: a picture that she put in of this really cute
Speaker 2: little like wooden theater, like puppet theater. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: what adorable She's popped in so sweet a photo. I
Speaker 2: don't know if she's maybe done it up a little bit,
Speaker 2: but it is. It looks so cute and it was free.
Speaker 2: How toddler looks like they are definitely enjoying that. He's
Speaker 2: having a lot of fun. And then lastly, I've got
Speaker 2: a money win from Imagen who said I made my
Speaker 2: first sale on Deep Hop. Enjoy your hoodies, Jackie.
Speaker 3: I love this so much. You're a Deep Hop girlie.
Speaker 2: I love a Deep Pops.
Speaker 3: I know I have been checking there when I'm looking
Speaker 3: for like dresses that I wished I got last season
Speaker 3: but didn't purchase, and then I find them there for
Speaker 3: like fifty bucks and I'm like money win huge. My
Speaker 3: favorite is, actually this is very self centered, so I
Speaker 3: do apologize. My favorite is when like I message someone,
Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, is this dress available and they're like yep,
Speaker 3: no worries, and then I like ask a few questions
Speaker 3: and then I'm like, yep, oh buy it, nories, thank you,
Speaker 3: I just processed it, and they're like, also love your podcast.
Speaker 3: Sorry I do, and then I forego there, I do
Speaker 3: love money when like, yeah, I am living and breathing
Speaker 3: that she's on the monainy way of life, like don't worry.
Speaker 2: I believe in those values.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wholeheartedly, and they're like this is actually so funny,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, thanks for the dress, Gabe.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that's so hold s. All right.
Speaker 3: Beck not here because she's not in the country, but
Speaker 3: I am going to do the broke tips from the
Speaker 3: community this week. She's provided them, and I also have
Speaker 3: a tip from Beck because I was like, we didn't
Speaker 3: do one last week. You're not getting on this week.
Speaker 3: Send me once.
Speaker 2: She's here and Spirits is here in Spirits, so the
Speaker 2: first break tip comes from Rachel, and Rachel said try
Speaker 2: one month of just buying everything with no brand name
Speaker 2: on them.
Speaker 3: So like at the supermarket, includes food, clothing, if you
Speaker 3: need to buy it, et cetera, drinks, you are going
Speaker 3: to be so surprised at how much the savings add up,
Speaker 3: and you'll finally try all the home brand things you've
Speaker 3: been questioning.
Speaker 2: And everyone always says the home brand things are made
Speaker 2: in the same factory. They just have.
Speaker 3: They're not label they have to be because do you
Speaker 3: really think, like down the road there's going to be
Speaker 3: like no name pasta factory, Like it just makes no
Speaker 3: sense to have an entire factory that pumps out no
Speaker 3: name pasta.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there you go. Maybe you'll find something to
Speaker 2: be like this is literally exactly the same exactly.
Speaker 3: And can you please tell us what your favorite home
Speaker 3: brand items are because I want to know, like what
Speaker 3: are the winds because a few times right I have
Speaker 3: been pleasantly surprised. My favorite is Pringles. So the sour
Speaker 3: cream and onion pringles are my favorite type of Pringles.
Speaker 3: Don't come for me. I'm not having a fight green one.
Speaker 3: So the only ones that I will let you have red,
Speaker 3: no go away purple? Are you joking? Save that for Smiths?
Speaker 3: Like crinkle cut chips.
Speaker 4: Huh.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we could fight, but we're not going to because
Speaker 3: you're all going to agree that the green ones are
Speaker 3: the best. But they have shrunk in size, so Pringles
Speaker 3: are no longer as great a value as they used
Speaker 3: to be. Cole's home brand Pringles though are They are
Speaker 3: the exact same size as the old Pringles and they
Speaker 3: taste exactly the same and they're like one ninety nine
Speaker 3: for a tube.
Speaker 2: You know what. They did that with the red Rock
Speaker 2: deli chips as well, that are now like eight dollars
Speaker 2: bag or something. A bit know. Coles do like a
Speaker 2: deli chip that tastes literally exactly.
Speaker 3: The same, and it's just better. It's trees, it's cheaper,
Speaker 3: and you're like, I can taste the savings, taste the saving,
Speaker 3: I can taste them. Osh, So definitely try those. The
Speaker 3: next one is from Tory, and Tory says, recycle as
Speaker 3: much as possible if you find yourself with recyclable waste
Speaker 3: before you put it into the recycling bin, so if
Speaker 3: you can try and get a few more uses out
Speaker 3: of it, For example, a box from a parcel that
Speaker 3: came in the mail. They could be used as a
Speaker 3: moving box or for packing something else up that you've
Speaker 3: interesting you need to ship out. You could also use
Speaker 3: things for gift wrapping or like a glory box or
Speaker 3: something like that. I'm not sure what a glory box is.
Speaker 3: A glory box is, Oh you do? Yeah, it sounded
Speaker 3: really questionable. No, you'd open it and be really surprised.
Speaker 3: I feel like pizza, right.
Speaker 2: Or I don't know I had one. It's like an
Speaker 2: older fashioned concept you would have it. I feel like
Speaker 2: it's from our mum's generation. But you would collect things
Speaker 2: for your future home while you still lived with your parents,
Speaker 2: and it would go in your glory box. So maybe
Speaker 2: what Yeah, so maybe for like Christmas or birthdays, or
Speaker 2: if you saw something on sale.
Speaker 3: You would buy tea appointing pizza.
Speaker 2: No, it's not a disappointing pizza at all.
Speaker 3: So you'd like buy tea tails and put them in your.
Speaker 2: Glove Yeah, or pans, like your pans went on sale,
Speaker 2: Like if there was a super clearance somewhere and you
Speaker 2: were like, oh my god, well one day I'll have
Speaker 2: a house. On any pans, you'd buy the pants and
Speaker 2: they'd go in your glory box. And then the idea
Speaker 2: was when you moved out. You didn't get hit with
Speaker 2: all of the expenses the bus. Stop laughing.
Speaker 3: I can't give a straight face. Why is it called
Speaker 3: a glory box?
Speaker 2: Glory to God? Maybe I don't know. That's not my
Speaker 2: Let me google it for you one time.
Speaker 3: No, I don't even want to know.
Speaker 2: Am I going to get some questions?
Speaker 3: I think you're going to get some questionable pictures and videos, Jessica.
Speaker 2: I've googled it. It says the origin of the expression
Speaker 2: of glory box is unclear.
Speaker 3: Well, that makes sense, gloryby I'm mon clear of what
Speaker 3: a glory box is? Have you found any other definition?
Speaker 2: According to the Australian National Dictionary Center, glory box is
Speaker 2: probably related to the British dialect expression glory whole.
Speaker 3: No, it's not. Did you just make that up?
Speaker 2: Denoting a place for storing odds and ends?
Speaker 3: Oh? Okay, do you know what? I think we might
Speaker 3: move on? Because this is a very g rated podcast?
Speaker 3: Was I right, jess in thinking what I was thinking? Cool?
Speaker 3: I was? Thank you. Tory also suggests that we say
Speaker 3: that our pasta sauce jars, because she said it could
Speaker 3: actually become a really cool drinking glass. A small vase,
Speaker 3: a candle, et cetera. And we really should be trying
Speaker 3: to recycle first anyway before it actually goes in the
Speaker 3: recycling bin, which I really liked. I have one from
Speaker 3: Beck and we've it's been in America and the exchange
Speaker 3: rate is absolutely abysmal. So we have no broke tips
Speaker 3: for this week except for how we feel really broke
Speaker 3: this week.
Speaker 2: I need bex help lay it on me.
Speaker 3: Yep, all right, So Beck says, check out the free
Speaker 3: section of Marketplace first. I feel like this is channeling
Speaker 3: from your money win section Lauren, who said she got
Speaker 3: that place enter thing from the curb, but she said,
Speaker 3: check out the free section of Marketplace. You could find
Speaker 3: a money win and also you could find something that's
Speaker 3: not well marketed take home, clean it up, flip it
Speaker 3: for a profit.
Speaker 2: I've seen people do that on TikTok I. It's a genius,
Speaker 2: really smart and recycling.
Speaker 3: Beck also said when I messaged her, she said, I
Speaker 3: furnished my house over the years with heaps of free
Speaker 3: things from Facebook, Marketplace and gum Tree. You'll be super
Speaker 3: surprised if the qualities. Sometimes people just want to get
Speaker 3: rid of their things and they don't actually want money.
Speaker 3: They just want it gone and moved, and they don't
Speaker 3: want to have to like negotiate delivery fees or pickups
Speaker 3: or whatever, and like they're just like take it, yess,
Speaker 3: I don't want this anymore.
Speaker 2: If you're willing to put in the work, and if
Speaker 2: you or someone you know is strong, very something to
Speaker 2: be said in that, because I remember when my friend moved.
Speaker 2: She lived in an apartment and it was a really
Speaker 2: narrow staircase and she was on like the third floor,
Speaker 2: and she was like, over my dead body, am I
Speaker 2: carrying this couch down? And so she literally put a
Speaker 2: whole nice couch on Facebook marketplace for free. She's like,
Speaker 2: the only catch is you have to get it down
Speaker 2: the stairs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fair. That's a good game.
Speaker 2: Imagine how many people would do the same thing. They
Speaker 2: like that. I just can't be bothered moving it, but
Speaker 2: it's yours because then I don't have to pay for
Speaker 2: like a junk removal.
Speaker 3: So yeah, no, that's true. Also another hack that Beck
Speaker 3: threw in, she said, your location to the wealthier suburbs. Ah,
Speaker 3: it's so smart, genius.
Speaker 2: Find out when they have their hard rubbish collection.
Speaker 3: Well that's a good one as well, how do we
Speaker 3: find that out?
Speaker 2: Be trawling those rich suburbs.
Speaker 3: Maybe, yeah, go on their council websites, see what's up. Literally,
Speaker 3: be like, I'm not paying your rates, but I definitely
Speaker 3: will look at when you're hard rubbish collection days.
Speaker 2: One rich person's trash is definitely treasure for the rest
Speaker 2: of us.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. Alright, let's go to a really quick
Speaker 3: break on the flip side. We're going to be talking
Speaker 3: about cheating on or breaking up with your mortgage broker.
Speaker 3: And we're also going to be discussing a like spicy
Speaker 3: little DM that someone slid into our messages about and said,
Speaker 3: I have a fiance and they have a secret credit
Speaker 3: card and it's been maxed out. What do I do?
Speaker 3: Don't go anywhere, guys.
Speaker 2: Welcome back, everybody. Should we take a listen to this
Speaker 2: week's money dilemma?
Speaker 3: Hi? There, have you got a money dilemma you just
Speaker 3: can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here
Speaker 3: to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
Speaker 3: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
Speaker 3: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
Speaker 3: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
Speaker 3: just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a
Speaker 3: listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 4: Hi, she's solemn money. So I plan on breaking up
Speaker 4: with my mortgage broker or potentially it's cheat. To give
Speaker 4: you some background, I've bought my home with my first
Speaker 4: mortgage broker already and they were great. However, I'm now
Speaker 4: looking into an investment home and they said there's absolutely
Speaker 4: not thing I can.
Speaker 2: Do because of cash flow.
Speaker 4: I've asked whether there's anything else we can do and
Speaker 4: they said it's a hard no. Hence I want to
Speaker 4: get a second opinion, but I still want to stick
Speaker 4: to this mortgage broker to refinance our first home. So
Speaker 4: my questions are, can they see on their system if
Speaker 4: I engage in a second mortgage broker for our investment home?
Speaker 4: And so are there any negatives with engaging your two
Speaker 4: mortgage brokers at the same time.
Speaker 3: Thank you, This is giving me. If you're at flags, Jessica,
Speaker 3: red Flags, Yes, more so, you either, from my perspective,
Speaker 3: trust your mortgage broker inherently or you do not. If
Speaker 3: you do not trust your mortgage broker inherently, you go
Speaker 3: find a second opinion and you don't want to refinance
Speaker 3: with them, So I would be interested to know why
Speaker 3: you want to leave your first loan with your mortgage
Speaker 3: broker that honestly, you're telling me you don't trust because
Speaker 3: you're saying I want a second opinion. I did trust them,
Speaker 3: they're now telling me that cash flow is an issue.
Speaker 3: I would be asking more questions about, like, why is
Speaker 3: cash flow an issue? How does that work? To me?
Speaker 3: That makes perfect sense. I own a mortgage broking company.
Speaker 3: I fully understand that. You know, let's say, Jess, you
Speaker 3: bought your first home. You might have a whole heap
Speaker 3: of deposit, or you might have a whole heap of
Speaker 3: equity for your next home. But I look at your
Speaker 3: cash flow and I go, I'm really sorry. With the
Speaker 3: income that you make, you can't service two loans and
Speaker 3: the bank's not going to accept it. So for me,
Speaker 3: it's a massive red flag that you're feeling a bit like, oh,
Speaker 3: I really want to get a second opinion. I think
Speaker 3: a second opinion is blame them. I don't blame them, Like,
Speaker 3: I totally get that if you're not feeling your first broker,
Speaker 3: then leaving them is a good idea. But you either
Speaker 3: trust them or you do not, so go engage a
Speaker 3: mortgage broker. I would one thousand percent recommend my own
Speaker 3: business is Zella Money, because the girls there are not
Speaker 3: just going to do what you're asking of them. They're
Speaker 3: going to deeply explain to you why. So I think
Speaker 3: to me, the other red flag is that you're kind
Speaker 3: of like, oh, the broker said it was cash flow
Speaker 3: and there's nothing more we could do, full stop, end
Speaker 3: of story. Yeah, Like, whereas with my team, I know
Speaker 3: they would have gone above and beyond to explain the
Speaker 3: intricacies of why that works and at what point we
Speaker 3: could reconsider it and maybe you need more equity, maybe
Speaker 3: you need more income, but you would know deeply why
Speaker 3: they can't do it and why no other broker could
Speaker 3: do it. So I think that communication piece is missing
Speaker 3: with your current broker because you're questioning them right when
Speaker 3: you go to another broker, No, they don't have to
Speaker 3: refinance your next loan. You could absolutely leave it with
Speaker 3: your first broker. Your first broker is potentially going to
Speaker 3: know if they looked into your file, because next time
Speaker 3: they go to look into your credit, they're going to
Speaker 3: see other credit inquiries from other banks and the broken
Speaker 3: company and what that looks like. So no, you can't
Speaker 3: entirely hide it. But I think also we need to
Speaker 3: have some conviction in ourselves that if you're saying you
Speaker 3: wanted to seek a second opinion, you should have conviction
Speaker 3: that you wanted to seek a second opinion.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If they go, oh, I see some more credit inquiries,
Speaker 3: you go yeah, Yeah. I was really frustrated with the
Speaker 3: outcome because I really really wanted to buy an investment
Speaker 3: property and you say cash flow was an issue, So
Speaker 3: I got a second opinion. You're right, Greg, Like, you know,
Speaker 3: cashlow was an issue. Every other broker couldn't do it.
Speaker 3: So I'm back here, like, I don't think that's a
Speaker 3: bad thing, but I definitely wouldn't be trying to be sneaky.
Speaker 2: Yeah, particularly if there's a clawback.
Speaker 3: Yes, so that's also a really good point if you
Speaker 3: and it depends on the term of your loan. So
Speaker 3: clawback is where so you don't pay your broker jest,
Speaker 3: So your broker works for you individually for free. They
Speaker 3: get paid by the bank, but the bank says, in
Speaker 3: order to get paid by us, your client has to
Speaker 3: stay with us for a minimum of twelve months. It
Speaker 3: could be eighteen months, it could be two years. Just
Speaker 3: that means if you leave your broker and go to
Speaker 3: another broker and they refinance it during that what we
Speaker 3: call a clawback period, the broker you originally worked with,
Speaker 3: is going to get a letter from the bank saying, hey,
Speaker 3: by the way, we're taking the money that you earned
Speaker 3: away from you. And to me, that's not that ethical
Speaker 3: because people should get paid for what they deserve. Also,
Speaker 3: if you're not happy with that loan, you should be
Speaker 3: talking to the broker first about fixing it. But also
Speaker 3: I don't mean to be rude. If you have a
Speaker 3: loan that can be refinanced within the first twelve months
Speaker 3: to another broker for a better deal, like your broker's
Speaker 3: not looking after you in the first place. So I'd
Speaker 3: just be like, we don't really see it in our
Speaker 3: business because I think that our team and our clients
Speaker 3: trust us, and also we're always trying to get the
Speaker 3: best deal, Like we have reminders in our calendar every
Speaker 3: twelve months to check on certain clients and make sure
Speaker 3: that they're up to date with it and they're getting the
Speaker 3: best interest rates. In all of that, like, your broker
Speaker 3: is not a set and forget kind of relationship. From
Speaker 3: my perspective, legally they can be set and forget, but
Speaker 3: I think that the best type of brokers are the
Speaker 3: ones that are like putting reminders in their calendar, going,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, jess is loan it'll expire on this date,
Speaker 3: and the you know, set periods or do ABC, let
Speaker 3: me do some research before then, so she's always in
Speaker 3: the best possible position, Like your broker should be working hard. Yeah,
Speaker 3: from my perspective, So yeah, Like there are a few elements,
Speaker 3: elements that I go, oh, that doesn't sit right with me,
Speaker 3: But ultimately, if you want a second opinion, go and
Speaker 3: get one, but really have conviction in why you want
Speaker 3: a second opinion and maybe come to the realization that
Speaker 3: it's you not trusting your broker to begin with. Yeah,
Speaker 3: interesting rude for me. Maybe.
Speaker 2: Speaking of keeping secrets, though, this week's community DM has
Speaker 2: a little bit of it secret plot in It doesn't that.
Speaker 3: You are correct, Jessica, it's a little bit spicy. Are
Speaker 3: you ready? I strap yourselves in? My fiance has a
Speaker 3: secret credit card. Crying face. It's crying face emoji, hi ladies.
Speaker 3: On top of trying to budget for a wedding, dealing
Speaker 3: with the cost of living, and trying to get in
Speaker 3: a better financial position for our future. My fiance's credit
Speaker 3: card statement came in the mail and it showed us
Speaker 3: that we are in five thousand dollars worth of personal debt,
Speaker 3: which he has maxed out and I didn't know about.
Speaker 3: I went through the statement and it's many Apple subscriptions
Speaker 3: and really silly little things we could have covered, but
Speaker 3: it's just snowballed. And to add insult to injury, he
Speaker 3: makes his fifty dollars minimum repayment, but that doesn't make
Speaker 3: a dint in it. Do you have any advice on
Speaker 3: how to navigate this. I feel defeated. I've got two
Speaker 3: thousand dollars in savings I was going to put towards
Speaker 3: essential tech upgrades, but that seems to be completely out
Speaker 3: of the picture.
Speaker 2: Now, Oh my gosh, that's awful. It's your fiance, so
Speaker 2: you're going to be married, and I feel like it
Speaker 2: is a very big secret to keep, and I don't
Speaker 2: want to shame anyone for their debt. And I understand
Speaker 2: that that we.
Speaker 3: Should be talking openly and honestly about it, especially if
Speaker 3: you've got shared big financial goals.
Speaker 2: Well, it's interesting because I noted our listener said, I
Speaker 2: found out that where in five thousand dollars a personal debt.
Speaker 3: Like I kind of like the way she framed that, though,
Speaker 3: because if Steve had that, I would immediately go, that's
Speaker 3: an US problem, not the problem, because we're a team.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so maybe it's that I do like, I do
Speaker 2: really like it, but I also am very conscious of
Speaker 2: the fact that that's what one thousand dollars is a
Speaker 2: lot of money and a lot of debt to put
Speaker 2: yourself in, and it's a bit concerning that the partner
Speaker 2: is sounds like burying his head in the sand, paying
Speaker 2: only minimum repayments, not being open about the fact that
Speaker 2: he is in that debt. If that was me, like
Speaker 2: if I found that out, bebit salty, I'd be real salty.
Speaker 2: So so salty. And it's a hard one because you go, well,
Speaker 2: how do I approach that because technically, like she has
Speaker 2: opened his mail and obviously she said, you know, I've
Speaker 2: got all these wedding things coming, and maybe she just
Speaker 2: thought it was one of those but you don't wait
Speaker 2: if I saw a statement come in for a credit card,
Speaker 2: like I'm really sorry and no, you're not meant to
Speaker 2: open other people's mail.
Speaker 3: I'd be straight in it. I'd be like, oh, whoops,
Speaker 3: I was opening mine and I accidentally opened to this one. Ha ha.
Speaker 3: It wasn't an accident, Steven.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like it's a hard conversation to bring up, like, hey,
Speaker 2: by the way, I know you've been lying to you.
Speaker 3: So if you can lie to me, at least turn
Speaker 3: off the mail coming like I get paper, have your
Speaker 3: e statements sent to you be better at lying. We
Speaker 3: asked the community, all right, Jess, So we said, do
Speaker 3: you have a secret credit card that your partner doesn't
Speaker 3: know about? Thankfully, ninety eight percent of you said no,
Speaker 3: two percent of you said yes, two percent two percent.
Speaker 3: We said, how would you feel if your partner had
Speaker 3: a secret credit card? Sixty percent of you agreed with us,
Speaker 3: We'd feel hurt that the trust had been broken. Thirty
Speaker 3: seven percent said I'd only care if we shared our finances,
Speaker 3: and three percent said wouldn't bother me at all. I
Speaker 3: think that might change if you found out it was
Speaker 3: maxed out credit card. Jess. Yeah, having your credit card
Speaker 3: in general, it's fine. Fine having a maxed out credit
Speaker 3: card where you are in personal debt. Different story, especially
Speaker 3: for dumb stuff like dumb little like app purchases. But
Speaker 3: they do compound. And that's where debt is a really
Speaker 3: slippery kind of surface to be on. Right, And I've
Speaker 3: said before and I'll preach again and again. Nobody gets
Speaker 3: a credit card with the intention of going into debt.
Speaker 3: No one goes, all right, well, Jess, I really want
Speaker 3: to go into personal debt, so I think I'm going
Speaker 3: to apply for a ten thousand dollar limit credit card.
Speaker 3: Like you just don't do it. You and I have
Speaker 3: both been in personal debt, and when you go into debt,
Speaker 3: it feels like a necessity, like you're not going into
Speaker 3: debt because you're like, Yello, I'm just going to get
Speaker 3: a credit card and I'm going to spend my life away,
Speaker 3: like you're going into debt because life at that point
Speaker 3: in time is challenging and you're you know, saying, oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, like I have to move out, or I
Speaker 3: have to do this, or I have to spend this.
Speaker 3: Mine was just frivolous, like at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: like it just compounded. And it does. But no one
Speaker 3: gets a credit card with the intention to be in
Speaker 3: crippling personal debt. So I can guarantee that your partner
Speaker 3: or your fiance feels really awful about this too. So
Speaker 3: I think we need to make sure that we're approaching
Speaker 3: this situation with the kindness it deserves. And this, to
Speaker 3: me is a fantastic opportunity in your relationship to extend
Speaker 3: that kindness and practice set and go Okay, hey, this
Speaker 3: has come up. How are we tackling this is a problem?
Speaker 3: What does this mean? How are you going to pay
Speaker 3: it off? Have you thought about this? It's very very hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: We also asked if you're in a relationship, do you
Speaker 3: and your partnership finances it spassy. Sixty percent of you
Speaker 3: said yes, some forty percent said no. Again, there is
Speaker 3: no right or wrong way. I just really think this
Speaker 3: is let's see it as an opportunity to grow closer
Speaker 3: and you know, foster a bit more trust. So like
Speaker 3: if you were in that situation, Jess, and we were
Speaker 3: in a relationship, which we'd be real hot couple, yes,
Speaker 3: so that would make sense. But if you came to
Speaker 3: me and said I have a credit card statement or
Speaker 3: I uncovered it, I think that's actually a really great
Speaker 3: time to go, Hey, Jess, like, I think we need
Speaker 3: to have a chat. How can we approach this with kindness,
Speaker 3: because I promise yelling and screaming about it goes nowhere.
Speaker 3: In fact, it's setting expectation that if there's anything to
Speaker 3: hide from you in the future, they need to work
Speaker 3: harder instead of being open with you.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I feel like the bigger red flag for
Speaker 2: me here than the credit card is the fact that
Speaker 2: it was kept a secret. Yeah.
Speaker 3: No, I agree, I absolutely agree. And there's going to
Speaker 3: be a reason they got it. They might have been like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm really overwhelmed with their finances, or I've had it
Speaker 3: for years and it just never came up. There's going
Speaker 3: to be a reason, right, And I think that it
Speaker 3: tells you a lot about your relationship. We also asked
Speaker 3: the community, Jess as always, would you like to hear
Speaker 3: what they had to say?
Speaker 2: Absolutely so.
Speaker 3: Someone said, this is really concerning for me? Is this habitual?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Good question. Someone else said, nothing wrong with having one
Speaker 3: if it's manageable, But this seems really deliberate that he
Speaker 3: hid it from her, which is true, and that's where
Speaker 3: I see the issues.
Speaker 2: How you want to start a marriage either.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent like maybe you two desired to get
Speaker 3: a credit card because you know stuff's tight. Yeah, great,
Speaker 3: I get it. But it's a joint decision, and a
Speaker 3: joint financial decision. Someone said, I watched my parents deal
Speaker 3: with this back and forth for years run it only
Speaker 3: gets worse.
Speaker 2: Oh no, No, this.
Speaker 3: Is an opportunity to set expectations in a relationship and
Speaker 3: have beautiful, open, honest money conversations and you know what,
Speaker 3: five thousand dollars to be on the right page. So
Speaker 3: that's the money win.
Speaker 2: It's an investment in your relationship.
Speaker 3: Done. Someone said, credit card, No, it would be impacting
Speaker 3: your borrowing if you're planning on purchasing your property, which
Speaker 3: is true. True would have come up at some point
Speaker 3: because you can't hide lines of credit. You need to
Speaker 3: have a secret emergency account though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyone, everyone should. We've said that before.
Speaker 3: A squirrel account is what I've been calling it recently,
Speaker 3: because you squirrel money away like a little squirrel, and
Speaker 3: then you forget about your nuts and then it's there, exactly,
Speaker 3: it's there for a rainy day, like the squirrels in
Speaker 3: Central Park in New York. Because we were there last week,
Speaker 3: so cute. By the way, did you know, we went
Speaker 3: to New York. I'm glad that we're all on the
Speaker 3: same page, all right. Someone said, I have recently found
Speaker 3: out that my partner of four years has a secret
Speaker 3: gambling addiction and he has been lying about his savings.
Speaker 2: Oh that's so awful.
Speaker 3: It's a deal breaker for me. Fair. Also, thanks for
Speaker 3: sharing that, because that's big. Someone said, it's not the
Speaker 3: credit card. It's actually the secrecy that's the problem. It's
Speaker 3: okay to need one, but you need to be talking
Speaker 3: about it. Your debts are shared once you get married.
Speaker 3: And someone said it's his secret love, so it's his
Speaker 3: problem to deal with, not yours. I'm raven a hard price. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm rocking a hard place. I just think it's an
Speaker 3: opportunity for more open, honest money conversations. Like we all
Speaker 3: go through things, we all end up in this situation
Speaker 3: where we find ourselves in a financial pickle and we
Speaker 3: feel like we might need to pick something else up.
Speaker 3: So I just, yeah, I feel like this is an
Speaker 3: opportunity for kindness. Yeah, should you be lying, No, you
Speaker 3: need to have a chat about that too. Awkward conversation.
Speaker 3: Absolutely not acceptable to lie.
Speaker 2: But I think you're right, Like if you have the
Speaker 2: conversation and if you set those expectations, it's an opportunity
Speaker 2: potentially to really deepen your relationship with each other, to
Speaker 2: reaffirm that you do approach things as a team, to
Speaker 2: reaffirm that you do do them with kindness, and that
Speaker 2: you are there to support each other. Because maybe that's
Speaker 2: why was kept a secret, because your partner was embarrassed
Speaker 2: or unsure of how you'd react or something like that.
Speaker 2: So yeah, hopefully it's an opportunity to strengthen you, guys,
Speaker 2: rather than something that's going to pull you apart.
Speaker 3: I agree, And I also think it's important to see
Speaker 3: that there is in a relationship a different between secrets
Speaker 3: and things that might not have come up because you're
Speaker 3: not comfortable yet. So like when I got into a
Speaker 3: relationship with Steve, I was in personal debt. I had
Speaker 3: not told him yet because I was so deeply ashamed
Speaker 3: of the debt that I carried, I was so worried
Speaker 3: about his judgments on me. It actually wasn't me trying
Speaker 3: to keep secrets. Yeah, Like I wasn't out having an
Speaker 3: affair trying to you know, keep that under wraps. And
Speaker 3: like I was definitely hiding it. I was just so
Speaker 3: deeply ashamed of the death that I was carrying, and finally,
Speaker 3: when I felt comfortable, I shared it and he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's fine. And the way he approached it has meant
Speaker 3: that our relationship I feel very comfortable in. If I
Speaker 3: ever have anything to share, I know that day he's
Speaker 3: not going to judge me. I mean, that's why he's
Speaker 3: my husband. Now. I feel very comfortable with this human being.
Speaker 3: And I think that that's why I'm saying it's a
Speaker 3: really big learning opportunity for the two of you, because again,
Speaker 3: I think we need to remember that this could be
Speaker 3: one of the hardest things that he has carried. Because
Speaker 3: for me it was too so like, don't approach it
Speaker 3: with like I can't believe you didn't tell me because
Speaker 3: they're going to be sitting on the other side of
Speaker 3: the table, being like I didn't know how to bring
Speaker 3: it up. It made me feel sick. I've lost sleep
Speaker 3: over this. I would lay awake at night next to you,
Speaker 3: going is he going to end the relationship with me
Speaker 3: because I'm in debt and I, you know, look like
Speaker 3: I have my stuff together from the outside in. Yeah,
Speaker 3: So I think it's there's two sides to this coin,
Speaker 3: and you need to see both so that you can
Speaker 3: have a very honest conversation. And if it goes well,
Speaker 3: it will only put your relationship in a better position.
Speaker 2: Come back and let us know how it goes. I'm
Speaker 2: super interested.
Speaker 3: I know, all right, Jess. It is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday,
Speaker 3: and we are going to a Halloween parade in New Orleans,
Speaker 3: so we better go get our costumes. I am so
Speaker 3: excited about this. Sorry that you're not here, my friends,
Speaker 3: but you are living vicariously through us. And if you're
Speaker 3: following as if you're following us, If you're not following us, unlucky.
Speaker 3: Follow Jess Ricky on Instagram, Victoria Underscore, Divine and She's
Speaker 3: on the Money aus So if you don't want to
Speaker 3: go type in all of those usernames, just go to
Speaker 3: She's on the Money because we tag the hell out
Speaker 3: of ourselves. Anyway, have the best weekend, but not as
Speaker 3: good a weekend as us at the Halloween parade. Love
Speaker 3: you bye by The advice shared on She's on the
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