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Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me Lolaberry, author, nutritionist,

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Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know

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Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately

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Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. Welcome to fearlessly Failing with Lolaberry.

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Speaker 2: Hello, it's Lowels here. This guest is Craig Harper.

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Speaker 1: So he's a bit of a not jack of all trades,

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Speaker 1: but he does a lot of awesome things. So his

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Speaker 1: written books, does motivational speaking. Pt was a conditioning coach

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Speaker 1: for AFL teams. He's currently studying his PhD in neuroscience.

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Speaker 1: He's super fascinated.

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Speaker 2: By human behavior.

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Speaker 1: We have a really honest and raw talk about failure,

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Speaker 1: about why motivation doesn't stick and uncover why giants are

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Speaker 1: so hard to stick to, which I was like, oh

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Speaker 1: my goodness, I am totally this person. And we also

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Speaker 1: talk about how to kind of get over that hump,

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Speaker 1: like what actually makes us succeed. And my favorite bit

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Speaker 1: is we talk about how to get out of your

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Speaker 1: own way. So I hope you enjoy this very honest

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Speaker 1: Harps loves to swear a bit, so this super honest

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Speaker 1: chat with Harps. Hello, we were just having a little

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Speaker 1: giggle because I'm nervous, not.

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Speaker 2: Necessarily about interviewing.

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Speaker 1: But the incredible Craig Harper has just interviewed me on

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Speaker 1: the the The U Project podcast.

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Speaker 2: Correct, he just looked at me and pointed behind his head.

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Speaker 3: Are your teeth back in stain?

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Speaker 1: He just literally looks at me, pointed behind his head,

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Speaker 1: which is the poster. So I shouldn't have got that wrong,

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Speaker 1: But I was just saying, it's nerve wreaking to go

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Speaker 1: from being interviewed to then being the interviewer.

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Speaker 2: And we have already.

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Speaker 1: Discovered that I'm a little bit OCD and like to

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Speaker 1: research for three million hours on each person.

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Speaker 2: So I'm pumped to.

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Speaker 3: Unpack all already?

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Speaker 2: Is ready Harper?

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Speaker 1: So first of all, as soon as I jump on

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Speaker 1: your website, it literally says, Craig Harper is keeping shit real.

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Speaker 3: I try to. I'm not.

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Speaker 4: I try to. I try to uncomplicate stuff a little bit.

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Speaker 4: I think sometimes in the personal development space it can

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Speaker 4: get a bit airy fairy and fluffy in a little

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Speaker 4: bit too unnecessarily technical and academic and complicated. I think

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Speaker 4: you need a bit of that, but I think you

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Speaker 4: also need to be able to relate to people in

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Speaker 4: a way which connects and resonates and sometimes the super

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Speaker 4: duper science y deep research y stuff is a little bit,

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Speaker 4: albeit perhaps accurate, not necessarily relatable.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. See, hence why you keep shit real.

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Speaker 3: Trying to keep shit real so people stay connected.

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Speaker 1: Can I ask a quick fanny question for my This

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Speaker 1: is for my dad. Actually dad's n My dad is

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Speaker 1: Nol Smith, advid Essendon footy supporter. And he was like, so,

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Speaker 1: tell me who you're interviewing tomorrow. And I started to

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Speaker 1: give him the rundown of you, and I said, I

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Speaker 1: think he was an AFL conditioning coach for a while,

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Speaker 1: and my dad's is pricked up.

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Speaker 2: He looked me straightly and he's.

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Speaker 1: Like, oh, yeah, I think I've heard about this, Craig Harper.

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Speaker 1: Can you tell us what on earth is an AFL

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Speaker 1: conditioning coach?

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Speaker 4: So?

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Speaker 2: And what your role was.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So I just worked at Saint Kilda and I've

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Speaker 4: worked with a bunch of different teams. So I worked

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Speaker 4: at Saint Kilda as a strength coach, so strength and conditioning,

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Speaker 4: so it's a bit of a team. But I was private. Well,

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Speaker 4: I was the head of all the strength stuff for

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Speaker 4: three years, so trying to obviously build functional strength, trying

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Speaker 4: to build muscular endurance, aerobic endurance, keep them injury free

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Speaker 4: when they are injured, rehab them, all the stuff about

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Speaker 4: getting the body right to execute the skill that they have,

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Speaker 4: so that you know, you might have the bet like

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Speaker 4: somebody who's got the most talent, the most potential, the

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Speaker 4: best skill, But if they don't have the body that

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Speaker 4: will allow them to run for four quarters of thirty minutes,

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Speaker 4: give or take, as well as hit and be hit

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Speaker 4: and tackle and be tackled, and to be able to

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Speaker 4: perform under pressure and in the middle of what would

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Speaker 4: for most of us be exhaustion, then they can't perform optimally.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fun.

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Speaker 1: So I imagine it would have been pretty like I

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Speaker 1: know from us speaking that your whole background, your background

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Speaker 1: is so much stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's because I'm old as fuck. No, I'm old as fine.

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Speaker 1: No, it's not that I feel like like I've got

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Speaker 1: a massive list here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but being a trainer and being really into the

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Speaker 1: way the human body moves and whatnot. But I imagine

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Speaker 1: I'm working with and it feels like you've got a

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Speaker 1: you lean or you have leaned into training professional athletes,

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Speaker 1: and I'm guessing this is me taking a stab. He

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Speaker 1: not a stab stab, but like is the I think

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Speaker 1: this is because of the more mindset stuff as.

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Speaker 4: Well, Yeah, a little bit. I mean I've worked with

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Speaker 4: a bunch of elite athletes your friend and mine, Steph

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Speaker 4: prem but one of them Jackie Cooper who was an

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Speaker 4: aerial ski jump, or a whole bunch of different olympians,

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Speaker 4: NISS and motorsport. As we said, some killed a football

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Speaker 4: club Melbourne Vick.

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Speaker 2: How do you train motors for people they're athletes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they've got to be incredibly fit, lean or more strong.

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Speaker 4: No more about aerobic endurance and an ability to you know,

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Speaker 4: you think about the I had a guy called David Reynolds,

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Speaker 4: David Reynolds who drives for oh fuck, I can't remember

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Speaker 4: the name, and he's going to kill me anyway. He's

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Speaker 4: awesome whole shit, but he's an amazing dude. And he

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Speaker 4: was talking to me about the temperature in the car

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Speaker 4: can get up to sixty five degrees a sauna. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it's hotter than a sauna sometimes, and they wear five

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Speaker 4: layers and you know all the fire resistant stuff and

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Speaker 4: so yeah, car drivers they're not a typical athlete in

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Speaker 4: the sense that we think about sportsmen and women, but

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Speaker 4: you know, they need to be in very very good

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Speaker 4: shape physically. So yeah, most most professional race car drivers

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Speaker 4: have a pretty serious conditioning program.

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Speaker 3: It's cool, cool, it's fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds so fun.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So back to your Craig Harper is keeping shit

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Speaker 1: real presenter writer?

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Speaker 2: Now? I thought you'd written four books, but it's more

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Speaker 2: like eight.

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Speaker 1: Yeah about that, and some stuff like pull your finger out,

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Speaker 1: stop fucking around? Great name, Thank you, educator.

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Speaker 3: Podcast hybrow hi brow stuff.

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Speaker 2: Well, we were just talking about my stop being a

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Speaker 2: Fat Bitch title.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that went well, so I.

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Speaker 1: K it was a safe space to talk about. So

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Speaker 1: also radio hosts the Science of Sport yep. Now, I've

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Speaker 1: listened to enough of your podcasts to know that you.

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Speaker 2: Have a wonderful radio voice. Can you just give me

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Speaker 2: like a little line in your radio Yah?

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Speaker 4: You're welcome back to Melbourne's Homeosport eleven sixteen, All Sport,

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Speaker 4: All Day. Coming up the next hour, we're chatting with

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Speaker 4: Lola Berry, that controversial chick in the media coming out

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Speaker 4: to your live podcast.

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Speaker 2: Have you had media training so you're intonation on.

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Speaker 3: The job, all on the job.

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Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, thank you for that, by the way.

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Speaker 4: But also, but honestly, I never ever spoke like that

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Speaker 4: on radio. I always just talk. If I'm talking to

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Speaker 4: somebody in the street, or I'm doing a podcast like

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Speaker 4: we are now, or I'm on radio, or I'm doing Telly,

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Speaker 4: or I'm doing a keynote, it's the same, totally. How

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Speaker 4: fucking exhausting would it be to have a special radio voice.

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Speaker 1: But many people my friend and TV and presenting and

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Speaker 1: even I teach yoga.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes the yoga teacher's voice can be different to their

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Speaker 2: real to their real voice.

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Speaker 4: I guess you don't want a yoga teacher going all right, everybody.

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Speaker 2: It's Karen. I love that you just picked the words

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Speaker 2: in the name Karen.

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Speaker 1: I don't know so Australiana, right, it's Margaret down with

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Speaker 1: dog your fuckers.

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Speaker 3: That's not working, is it.

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Speaker 1: Do you know there are some famed yoga teachers for

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Speaker 1: swearing really and they're like, get the fuck.

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Speaker 2: Into that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: And there's a militant side to yoga you don't see

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Speaker 1: in some ins.

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Speaker 3: What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: So I teach and practice vinyasa, but they're kind of

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Speaker 1: like mother and father of Vignyasa are younger and USh younger. Now,

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Speaker 1: if you're out of line back in the day, in

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Speaker 1: our younger.

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Speaker 2: Yoga, you'd be hit with a stick.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of yoga comes from old school contortionists

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Speaker 1: in England when they were like the court jester. You

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Speaker 1: get a contortionist in Yeah, a lot of it comes.

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Speaker 3: From that about the contortionists that died in his own arms.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: Oh come on, no, really, fuck off. You can have that,

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Speaker 4: you can use that, you can use that.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, that's free fun.

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Speaker 2: This is gonna be fun.

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Speaker 3: So it is.

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Speaker 2: Back to you and TV. Yes, we have been on

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Speaker 2: the same TV show.

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Speaker 3: Yes, the Channel ten Morning Show with Dave and Kim.

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Speaker 2: Yes, that's correct. I love that show. Now you were

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Speaker 2: the life renovator.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I was the kind of y one of the

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Speaker 4: better help people get their shit together person.

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Speaker 2: Awesome.

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Speaker 1: So I was the health girl. So we probably might

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Speaker 1: have crossed paths in a green room.

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Speaker 4: Or did you ever cross paths with a girl called

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Speaker 4: Arianne who was a chef on there, a cook a chef.

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Speaker 1: No, so I really got put on the chef days

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Speaker 1: generally because I'd make something right, so they'd kind of

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Speaker 1: sub me out right, because I'd do it too. Approach

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Speaker 1: contrition and let's make a healthy avocado chock moose ls.

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Speaker 1: The thing that I'm really excited to delve into with you.

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Speaker 1: You are an exercise scientist, but your passion and what

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Speaker 1: you're studying your PhD in now is neuroscience, like correct,

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Speaker 1: and what did you have on the desk here?

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Speaker 2: The psychology of.

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Speaker 4: So the neuroscientific model of the motivational process. So my

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Speaker 4: PhD is, can I just go back a tiny bit?

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Speaker 4: So like what as you said? So I come from

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Speaker 4: an exercise science background, which essentially is anatomy, physiology, biomechanics, movement,

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Speaker 4: energy systems, physiological overload, adaptation. How do we get stronger, run, faster,

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Speaker 4: jump higher, change our body composition, lower blood pressure, reduce pain,

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Speaker 4: or reduce adaptive response, increase adaptive response, all that kind

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Speaker 4: of stuff. But you get to a point where you go,

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Speaker 4: so I can tell this person what to do and

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Speaker 4: why to do it and how to do it, and

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Speaker 4: I can teach them how to use all of these

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Speaker 4: things and give them understanding and insight about all of

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Speaker 4: these scientific principles. And then Lola can come in and

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Speaker 4: tell them what to eat and why and how and

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Speaker 4: when and what's what it's doing and what it's not doing.

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Speaker 4: But then there's another element, and that is the behavior

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Speaker 4: that neither you or I can control. And the behaviors

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Speaker 4: are byproduct of the mind, because we don't accidentally eat cake,

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Speaker 4: and we don't accidentally not go to the gym, and

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Speaker 4: we don't accidentally have six beers. So for me, I

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Speaker 4: got really fascinated with why people do stuff and don't

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Speaker 4: do stuff. And I thought even by the time I

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Speaker 4: was so, I started working in gyms. When I was eighteen,

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Speaker 4: I started peteing, so I was gym instructing at eighteen.

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Speaker 4: I started doing personal training at twenty three, and I

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Speaker 4: opened Australia's first personal training center in nine and ninety.

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Speaker 4: When you were fucking two or something annoying, and you know,

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Speaker 4: for me, it was I just got to the point

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Speaker 4: where I realized, I know a fair bit about bodies

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Speaker 4: and how that all works, but I need to understand

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Speaker 4: humans better, the person who lives in the body. And

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Speaker 4: then I started to get better results because I started

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Speaker 4: to be more interested in thinking and behaving and choosing,

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Speaker 4: decision making, reacting, self talk, subjective reality, perception, awareness, self efficacy.

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Speaker 4: You know, how come I can get two people to

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Speaker 4: do the same thing and one winges and complaints and

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Speaker 4: one does it happily. Or I subject two people to

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Speaker 4: the same stimulus. One says it's painful, one says it's not.

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Speaker 4: And you know, there's just that there's a huge amount

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Speaker 4: of variability around the human experience. And so it's learning

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Speaker 4: to understand not just the physiology, but the psychology and

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Speaker 4: emotion and sociology of creating change. And everyone that goes

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Speaker 4: to a gym, everyone that listens to your podcast, everyone

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Speaker 4: that sees a I know and you go and see Teza,

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Speaker 4: everyone that sees a counselor or a psychologist or a

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Speaker 4: doctor or a nutritionist, they do that partly because they

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Speaker 4: want to change, Like nobody comes to you because they

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Speaker 4: don't want to change their diet or they don't want

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Speaker 4: to change their results.

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Speaker 3: And so everyone joins a gym for that reason. And

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Speaker 3: I remember.

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Speaker 4: Thinking a lot of people firstly, and this is you know,

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Speaker 4: I don't have the exact numbers on this, but my

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Speaker 4: perception is probably for every hundred people that join, maybe

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Speaker 4: ten get the results they wanted.

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Speaker 2: That's a low percentage.

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Speaker 4: Maybe the results they wanted and maybe two or three

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Speaker 4: percent keep them. Oh wow, right now, this is just

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Speaker 4: This is based on thirty five years of owning and

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Speaker 4: working in gyms, So I don't have hard science.

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Speaker 3: But what we know is that most people who.

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Speaker 4: Join a gym, and this is not about gyms or bodies,

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Speaker 4: this is about human behavior and thinking and psychology. Most

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Speaker 4: people who join gyms, for example, don't go. Most more

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Speaker 4: than half they either never go at all after a

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Speaker 4: period of time even though they're still members, or they

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Speaker 4: rarely go. So the figure that gets banded about a

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Speaker 4: bit is that the average active gym membership in Australia

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Speaker 4: is about fifteen to twenty percent, which means that about

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Speaker 4: eighty to eighty five percent of current members rarely go

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Speaker 4: or don't go at all.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 4: So that tells us that people make decisions all the

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Speaker 4: time that they don't follow through on. Now, you think

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Speaker 4: about when someone starts, they have an idea and intention,

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Speaker 4: a plan, and they have a need because that's why

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Speaker 4: they're there, and they have a desire. Probably then you think,

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Speaker 4: all right, so now you've got all of that, plus

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Speaker 4: you've got a program, plus you've got a bit of support,

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Speaker 4: plus you've got access to resources and facilities, and now

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Speaker 4: we're four weeks down the track and you don't come

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Speaker 4: anymore right. And so the challenge for me was always

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Speaker 4: how do I get people to get their head where

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Speaker 4: it needs to be, to get their body where they

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Speaker 4: want it.

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Speaker 1: I love this so much. I had this incredible trainer

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Speaker 1: in Sydney. Shout out to Dana Dare if you ever

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Speaker 1: listen now in La though, so I don't.

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Speaker 3: Get to selfish. Dan come back, and.

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Speaker 1: He used to say to me, and out of all

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Speaker 1: my body results, whenever I was training with Dan, I

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Speaker 1: got the best results. And he used to say to me, Lola,

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Speaker 1: out of everyone I train, he said, I train your mind,

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Speaker 1: not your body.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, is that a good thing or

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Speaker 2: a bad thing.

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Speaker 1: He's like, well, he goes, I don't train your body.

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Speaker 1: He goes, you actually do all that, You do all

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Speaker 1: the extra work outside of the two times.

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Speaker 2: You see me a week.

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Speaker 1: Correct, He's like, but when I'm here, when you're here,

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Speaker 1: I'm training your mind, which is probably why I do

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Speaker 1: resonate so well with having a therapist and working on

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Speaker 1: the mind. So my question for you is, and you've

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Speaker 1: just touched on this now, and I'm so excited to

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Speaker 1: kind of like unpack this. Why do people only stick

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Speaker 1: to something for like that ten day two week period,

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Speaker 1: maybe three weeks if they're lucky, and then drop the ball?

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Speaker 2: Is it that they feel shame? Is it that they

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Speaker 2: feel guilt? And then they drop?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: What? And why do people not have followed through?

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Speaker 1: I'm that person that will be like I started detoks tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go to yoga.

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Speaker 2: Every day ten days in.

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Speaker 1: I'm like stuff that I want to eat, the chocolated

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Speaker 1: I'm going to skip yoga tomorrow. And I'm much better

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Speaker 1: at picking myself up and moving forward because I'm comfortable

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Speaker 1: failing now and I'm more mindful. Yes, and so I

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Speaker 1: get back in there quicker.

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Speaker 2: But I used to go much longer. I was in

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Speaker 2: that percentage? So what is it that? What is that

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Speaker 2: thing that? Why do we self sabotage?

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Speaker 4: Okay, so why do we self sabotage? And why do

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Speaker 4: we not get the job done and keep it done?

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Speaker 4: They're the good questions, all right? So let me ask you.

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Speaker 4: So I'll ask you a couple of questions and the

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Speaker 4: answer will come out generally speaking, do we like comfort

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Speaker 4: or discomfort?

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Speaker 2: Generally speaking, people like comfort.

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Speaker 4: Right, and where does change happen when we're comfortable or uncomfortable?

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Speaker 3: Uncomfortable there's part of the answer. So the problem is,

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Speaker 3: or the challenge is.

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Speaker 4: That on the dichotomy is that on the one hand,

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Speaker 4: we say, I want to learn grow, I want to

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Speaker 4: be leaner, I want to be stronger, I want to

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Speaker 4: be healthier, I want more mental resilience, I want to

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Speaker 4: develop skill in this space and build a brand, build

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Speaker 4: a business, do a PhD, write a book, whatever, all

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Speaker 4: these things that take work, discipline, and discomfort, especially when

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Speaker 4: you're immersing yourself in there initially. So the thing that

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Speaker 4: people want transformation comes as a byproduct of the thing

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Speaker 4: they don't want. Pain, oh wow, discomfort, unfamiliarity. This is

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Speaker 4: where growth happens. And we don't need to change our life.

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Speaker 4: We think we need to change our life. We need

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Speaker 4: to change ourselves because when we change ourself, our life

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Speaker 4: is different. Because where you live is in your head

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Speaker 4: and your heart. You don't live externally, you live internally.

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Speaker 4: Where you do stuff is out in the world, your external, physical,

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Speaker 4: three dimensional reality. That's where we do things, have experiences,

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Speaker 4: have conversations, set up businesses, write books, do podcasts, sitting

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Speaker 4: across the table. This is part of what we do

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Speaker 4: in our life experience. But as you and I said

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Speaker 4: before we were talking about subjective reality is two people

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Speaker 4: in the one room, in the same moment in time

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Speaker 4: in Hampton, having a conversation, both having a unique experience

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Speaker 4: because your experience is not created by where we are

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Speaker 4: or what we're doing. Your experience is created by how

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Speaker 4: you process it. And that's about your experience, your history,

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Speaker 4: your mind, your data processing center that we call the brain.

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Speaker 4: And so that is and this is opening the door

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Speaker 4: a little bit. Can I be really deep on consciousness

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Speaker 4: and self awareness, starting to be the recognizer of how

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Speaker 4: my mind works and realizing that this isn't real. This

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Speaker 4: is just my mind's version of real, right, and.

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Speaker 3: So and we all.

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Speaker 4: And it's not about being weird and deep and fluffy.

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Speaker 4: It's about understanding that my reality and my experience as

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Speaker 4: it is for me is a byproduct of the story

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Speaker 4: that I'm telling myself. Because when I say, and this

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Speaker 4: is how powerful my mind is. When I, for example, say,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm in a situation with Lola, I'm

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Speaker 4: doing a podcast and this is fucking terrifying, and I'm

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Speaker 4: doing bad and she doesn't like me, and I'm going

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Speaker 4: if this is my story, then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 4: my emotional system, So that's a psychology. My emotional system

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Speaker 4: kicks in, and all of a sudden, there's fear and

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Speaker 4: more fear. Then my physiology kicks in. Now my sympathetic

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Speaker 4: nervous system switch is on. Now my heart rate increases,

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Speaker 4: my blood pressure increases, my respiration increases. Now my endocrine

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Speaker 4: system kicks in. I'm producing adrenaline, cortisol, laur prenferin. All

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Speaker 4: of these are physiological responses to a thought, and the

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Speaker 4: thought is I'm fucking up or I'm doing bad. So

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Speaker 4: there's this sequence of events and then I find myself

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Speaker 4: in a self created stress state because it's not about Lola,

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Speaker 4: because Lola's great. It's not about where we are. It's

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Speaker 4: not about what's going on, because there is, everything's fine.

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Speaker 4: But when I'm telling myself stories of doom and gloom,

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Speaker 4: I know I've offered on from your original question, but

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Speaker 4: this is you know, when I recently I went over

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Speaker 4: because I live on a very busy street and there

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Speaker 4: are cafes everywhere, and I was talking to the young

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Speaker 4: girl who's lovely. But she was making my coffee and said,

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Speaker 4: how should a gone? And she goes ah, and she

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Speaker 4: started to complain like full on, and she's normally that's

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Speaker 4: just complain ah. And she's telling me about this problem

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Speaker 4: and it really wasn't a problem. I said, it's not

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Speaker 4: really a problem, though, is it. She goes, what do

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Speaker 4: you mean? I go, you know what a problem is?

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Speaker 3: She goes what? I go, cancer? You know what a

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Speaker 3: problem is?

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Speaker 4: I go, domestic violence, that's a problem, and said and

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Speaker 4: she goes, oh fuck. And it's not about discounting what

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Speaker 4: she's saying. But when you take something that's a one

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Speaker 4: out of ten and you tell yourself it's a nine,

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Speaker 4: then that becomes your experience.

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Speaker 2: I can definitely do that dramatize.

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Speaker 4: Well, well, we're all overthinkers to a point totally. So

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Speaker 4: the two reasons we st primarily three reasons. I'll give

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Speaker 4: you one is it's hard, it's uncomfortable, right. The next

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Speaker 4: is we lose motivation. We'll talk about motivation if you

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Speaker 4: want what that is and what role it plays in

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Speaker 4: actually changing and succeeding. And then the third one is

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Speaker 4: that we are programmed to not do it. So your

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Speaker 4: mind operates, you know, conscious, subconscious, unconscious. So conscious is

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Speaker 4: right now, I'm looking at you, I'm paying attention to

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Speaker 4: your physiology. I mean, we're having a conversation. We're very

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Speaker 4: in the moment in this conscious process. But the subconscious

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Speaker 4: is that you're aware that we've probably been going for

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Speaker 4: ten minutes. You're aware of how warm or cold it

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Speaker 4: is in the room. You're aware that the windows to

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Speaker 4: your right. You're aware of all of these things that

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Speaker 4: you're not consciously focused on. That's just your subconscious awareness.

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Speaker 4: And so the challenge for us is often the things

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Speaker 4: that we need to do to succeed, lose weight, to

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Speaker 4: get in shape, become a successful media person like your

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Speaker 4: self or author, or any of the great things that

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Speaker 4: you've done. Quite often the things that we need to

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Speaker 4: do or not the things we want to do. And

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Speaker 4: so that is the challenge. We want the end result,

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Speaker 4: we want, we want the destination without the journey totally.

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Speaker 4: But the beauty of the journey is that is where

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Speaker 4: you become the person you need to become to do

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Speaker 4: the shit you want to do.

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Speaker 1: Is that where it would be a smart time to

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Speaker 1: ask about motivation, like when is the because I think

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Speaker 1: that motivation does I mean that wasn't The question I

439
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 1: wanted to ask was and that maybe the two intertwined

440
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 1: was like when then is the turning point where you

441
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 1: go from the person that never gets the results, never

442
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 1: gets the results, it's the same story over and over

443
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 1: to fuck it, I'm going to get the results this time.

444
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 2: This is the time where I fall down? Seven stand up?

445
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 3: Eight?

446
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 2: Is that when motivation kicks in?

447
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:49,679
Speaker 3: Or that's a great question.

448
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 4: So I'm going to say to you, Okay, I'll answer

449
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:58,439
Speaker 4: that I think that most people have the ability to

450
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 4: do pretty fucking amazing stuff. And I'm not saying that insincerely.

451
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 4: Most people, nearly everyone. I think also most people don't

452
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 4: use most of their potential.

453
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 3: Totally, I would agree.

454
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 4: Okay, yes, And so the question I ask people is

455
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 4: not how motivated can you be? But how productive can

456
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 4: you be when you're not motivated? Because that is what matters,

457
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 4: because the idea of being motivated all the time is ridiculous.

458
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 4: My whole PhD is around how do we succeed without

459
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 4: being motivated? Because that is the key, Because I mean,

460
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 4: motivation in an academic sense can be interchangeable or analogous

461
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 4: to the word reason. So her reason for getting out

462
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 4: of bed was to get the kids up, to get

463
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 4: them ready, or to put on a suit and go

464
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 4: to work and make a million bucks, or that could

465
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,960
Speaker 4: also be her motivation.

466
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 3: For getting out of bed whatever. So it's interchangeable.

467
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 4: But in the general kind of community, when we talk

468
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 4: about motivation, we talk about how we feel motivated. I

469
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 4: went and saw Lola talk. I'm fucking pumped, I'm excited,

470
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 4: I'm in the zone. I'm motivated. It's an emotional state.

471
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 4: The problem with that kind of motivation is that it

472
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,119
Speaker 4: isn't permanent. It comes and goes, and for most people,

473
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 4: or for many people anyway, as we spoke about with

474
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 4: the gym membership and the participation, is that once they

475
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 4: are not motivated, they stop doing what works. So the

476
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 4: challenge is not how do I stay motivated, because you won't,

477
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 4: because that's the human experience. The challenge is how do

478
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 4: I stay productive and proactive and effective when I can't

479
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 4: be fucked? Because that's a very smart question for humans

480
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 4: because we all are regularly in that space, right And

481
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 4: so part of that is you think about this. So

482
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 4: I'm sponsored by a company called Maxis, and they know

483
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 4: that I talk about this quite freely, and they, you know,

484
00:24:55,200 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 4: they run, as do many other organizations, like body transformation programs,

485
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,880
Speaker 4: which they know I'm not a massive fan of, right

486
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 4: they know that because I'm authentic. But I will also

487
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 4: say they can be good if we use them the

488
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 4: right way. But here's the problem. For a lot of people.

489
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,680
Speaker 4: They go on whosever it is six, eight, ten, twelve week,

490
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 4: four week whatever body transformation data DA. So let's just

491
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,080
Speaker 4: say ten weeks, so seventy days. This person's in the zone.

492
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 4: They're taking photos. Here's my pre photos, here's my one

493
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,160
Speaker 4: week photos. Here's my two week photos. And by the way,

494
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,919
Speaker 4: everything before the first week photo, I was hairy, and

495
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 4: I was standing in the shade, and I drank four

496
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 4: liters of water, and I was sticking my guts out

497
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 4: and here I am weak and all that kind of stuff.

498
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 4: And so what a lot of people do on those

499
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 4: programs is they lose weight, they get leaner, they change

500
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 4: their behavior, they change their exercise, they change their diet.

501
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 4: They're changing all of these things. But what they're not

502
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:56,960
Speaker 4: changing is their subconscious programming totally. And your subconscious programming

503
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 4: is you on autopilot. Because while they are consciously doing

504
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 4: things differently. They are subconsciously waiting for the days to

505
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 4: be done so they can go back to normal, which

506
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 4: is why it's a seventy day program and not a

507
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 4: life program.

508
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 3: Right.

509
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, So this is the challenge. Is so with all

510
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 4: of these programs, my proviso is for people, Yeah, do it,

511
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 4: but use it as a platform. Use it as a beginning,

512
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 4: not a start and finish.

513
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 1: I always say as well, like health or dieting shouldn't

514
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: be a detoxy, should be a lifestyle.

515
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 3: Correct.

516
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 1: But I'm still the girl that's like, I'm going to

517
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 1: do a twenty one day detox.

518
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,560
Speaker 4: And as long as that, as long as then at

519
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 4: the end on day twenty two, you're not eating your

520
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 4: own body weight in fucking timtamps, because.

521
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 3: Then wid like's the point it's I have.

522
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,440
Speaker 4: I would know, I don't know more than one hundred

523
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:52,360
Speaker 4: people who have done these programs personally who then go

524
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:57,080
Speaker 4: out and celebrate and eat ten thousand calories of shit

525
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 4: and get drunk to celebrate, get through this thing like

526
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 4: the whole time and within I would say that people

527
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,040
Speaker 4: who change their body quite a bit. Again, this is

528
00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 4: just bro science, I'm guessing, but I've been in this

529
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 4: space for a very long time. I would say ninety

530
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 4: percent of the people who change their body lose weight,

531
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 4: get leaner, change their body composition. I would say ninety

532
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,159
Speaker 4: percent of them start to regain that in the first week.

533
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:28,720
Speaker 3: Oh wow, yep, in the first week because they simply

534
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 3: stopped doing what worked. Think about this, I'm doing this thing.

535
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 4: My body's better, my food's better, my movement's better, my.

536
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:38,959
Speaker 3: Sleep, everything's better. Fuck. I can't wait till I stop.

537
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 3: It's ridiculous.

538
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 1: So it was the ten percent of then that succeed

539
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,120
Speaker 1: and hulk and stay on track as they then looking

540
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:47,959
Speaker 1: at it as a lifestyle not a diet.

541
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 4: Yes, a lot of them are, but even then some

542
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,119
Speaker 4: will drop off. Well, this is what I believe we

543
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 4: need to do, is we need to change our subconscious

544
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,679
Speaker 4: operating system. Say to me, so, I'm fifty. I just

545
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 4: turned fifty six. I was the fattest kid in my

546
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 4: school when I was fourteen. My name at school was Jumbo.

547
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 4: Everyone teaches parents' kids called me Jumbo. So I was

548
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 4: heavier when I was fourteen than I am now. Wow.

549
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 4: And so I've been training for forty two years and

550
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 4: I would train three hundred and sixty days of the year.

551
00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 4: I would have five days off for incidental things like

552
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 4: last week I had to go to Perth and do

553
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 4: a gig to Perth and back in the same day.

554
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 3: So just physically, oh that's the word. It's a killer.

555
00:28:28,440 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 3: It's a killer.

556
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 4: But I just physically couldn't get to a gym and

557
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 4: I go cool, So I won't train. It's not life

558
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 4: or death, but three hundred and sixty days of the year,

559
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 4: I would train. Not because I'm manic, not because i'm

560
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 4: but just because I work better when I work out

561
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 4: totally my body, my brain, and my emotions. I'm a

562
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 4: nicer human to be around. So I and I'm often

563
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 4: talking to corporates and invariably some dude my age is

564
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 4: you'll come up and go, fuck, what do you eat?

565
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 4: How do you how do you stay motivated? And I

566
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,240
Speaker 4: say I don't stay motivated. And they're like, but you

567
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 4: said you trained three round and sixty days a year.

568
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 4: I said, yeah, I do, and they go, well, how

569
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 4: can you do that if you're not motivated? I go

570
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,320
Speaker 4: because it's hardwired. It's it's part of my it's my

571
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 4: normal operating system. And the thing is when you've built

572
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 4: some habitual behavior like cleaning your teeth. When that's hard

573
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,240
Speaker 4: white into your subconscious. You don't need to get up

574
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 4: and say will I or won't tie. You don't need inspiration, motivation,

575
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 4: you don't even need discipline or self control because it's

576
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 4: who you are, this is what you do, So I

577
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 4: need zero. It's like I've never had alcohol. I've never

578
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,880
Speaker 4: been drunk, right, I've never had a cigarette, never done a.

579
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 2: Recreational amazing never never in your life, never had a beer.

580
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 3: I've never been.

581
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 2: There a reason why don't want to? For you knew

582
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,320
Speaker 2: that at a young age. Don't want to about like

583
00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 2: when there were parties when you never drank.

584
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 3: Never had a glass of alcohol in my life? Wow? Never.

585
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 4: And I'm not saying oh no, great. I was very

586
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 4: at a young age. I was an athlete. I was

587
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 4: training like a maniac, and it just I was always

588
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 4: quite philosophical and quite you know, like I watched my

589
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 4: mates from sixteen getting pissed and falling down, and just

590
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 4: I thought they were just morons.

591
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: So how did you go from quote unquote like the

592
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,680
Speaker 1: fact he's fourteen to then an athlete that's six.

593
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 4: Okay, it wasn't a good athlete, but I lived and

594
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 4: trained like an athlete. So I lost thirty kilos in

595
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 4: about so I just started running.

596
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 3: I had an experience. So I believe.

597
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 4: Remember we said a minute ago about potential, I believe

598
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 4: that quite often. Malcolm Gradwell wrote a really good book

599
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 4: called The Tipping Point, and I.

600
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 2: Thought, yes, we do have it next to us.

601
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I believe that we all have in terms

602
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 4: of really changing our life, our thinking, our habits, our results,

603
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 4: who we are. I believe that a lot of time,

604
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 4: that is a lot of times that is preceded by

605
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 4: an emotional tipping point. So for me, my emotional tipping

606
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 4: point was year eight, swimming sports, fattest kid in the

607
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 4: school being literally man handled up to the starting blocks

608
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 4: where I was trying to avoid it. I went and

609
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 4: hid in the change rooms. My teacher physically dragged me

610
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,080
Speaker 4: out by the arm, and I didn't want to swim

611
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 4: because I didn't want to take my t shirt off

612
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,960
Speaker 4: in front of hundreds of people. Because I was so fat.

613
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 4: I was humiliated, embarrassed. Nobody's fault, not blaming the teacher,

614
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 4: not blaming anyone. I made myself fat because I ate

615
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 4: fucking everything that wasn't nailed down.

616
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 3: Ergo the name Jumbo.

617
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 4: But so I stood up there and it felt like

618
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 4: four days before that gun went off. And then I

619
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 4: dived into the pool and swum to the other end

620
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 4: and blah blah blah, and and that experience for me

621
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 4: was painful and transformative in that I never ever wanted

622
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,120
Speaker 4: because I when you're a fat kid, well me anyway,

623
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 4: I never got changed in front of anyone. Nobody ever

624
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 4: saw me without clothes on, including my parents, right, And

625
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 4: so I was of course humiliation, shame, embarrassments. I you know,

626
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 4: I felt, Yeah, I had the worst self esteem in

627
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 4: the world. I thought it was unlovable. I thought all

628
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 4: of these things, and that's cool, A lot of people

629
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 4: feel that. But then but what happened was in that moment,

630
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 4: something in me went, We're never doing this again. This

631
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 4: is never happening again. And I went home. I'd never

632
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 4: trained in my life. I put on sneakers, and I

633
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 4: lived literally across the road fifty meters from a soccer oval,

634
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 4: and I went over there and I just went around

635
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 4: and around and around that oval, mostly walking, jogging as

636
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 4: far as I could, which was not very far. And

637
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 4: that was my first day ever of working out and

638
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 4: that day. From that day I probably ran. My obsession

639
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 4: started with running, but I probably ran every day until

640
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 4: I was about eighteen. Wow, every day, three hundred and

641
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,240
Speaker 4: sixty five days of the year, and I lost thirty

642
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 4: kilos in maybe fifteen or twelve, I can't remember, but

643
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 4: a short period of time weeks.

644
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, did your confidence change dramatically?

645
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:12,680
Speaker 4: And this is one of the this sounds weird, This

646
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,840
Speaker 4: is a weird expression, but one of the dangers of

647
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 4: getting in shape when you're a kid is that you

648
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 4: get all of this positive reinforcement that you didn't get

649
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 4: when you're a fat kid, Like you look amazing, well done. Well,

650
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 4: we're not going to pick you last for the team.

651
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 3: We're going to pick you third, so not thirtieth third.

652
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 4: And you're now you know, I'm not socially invisible anymore.

653
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 4: Like I've got a girlfriend. I'm fifteen, and this is incredible.

654
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 4: And so I'm doing a million push ups, a million

655
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:45,040
Speaker 4: sit ups, chin ups, and running like crazy person every day.

656
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:48,480
Speaker 4: And so the lesson I learned was, well, Wow, when

657
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 4: I'm lean and strong and fit, this is how I'm treated.

658
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 4: When I'm the other way, that's how I'm treated. And

659
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 4: so all of this. Understandably, this this thinking around who

660
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 4: you are and what makes you lovable becomes attached to

661
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 4: your body. So I had I was you know, we

662
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 4: think that only girls have body dysmorphia and eating disorders.

663
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,760
Speaker 3: I was the worst.

664
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 4: I was absolutely manic about food, about calories back then

665
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 4: because we weren't so educated. I went whatever I normally

666
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 4: ate before that day, I pretty much reduced that by

667
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 4: seventy percent.

668
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 3: Would eat.

669
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 4: I would eat maybe a third, oh wow, and I

670
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 4: would run all the time.

671
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 3: So in you go, yeah, just become obsessed.

672
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 1: In the lead up, and you only if you're comfortable

673
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: saying this. Was there anything that happened. I'm guessing personally

674
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,959
Speaker 1: that led you to want to eat more food than.

675
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 4: Fat little fucker who loved food grown up in the country,

676
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,400
Speaker 4: just a little jumbo, just chowing down chocolate cake and genetics.

677
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 4: I have an endomorphic body type, which means I walk

678
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 4: past the doughnut, my ass blows out.

679
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:58,360
Speaker 3: Ye.

680
00:34:58,760 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 2: I know the feeling.

681
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 4: But you know, for me, this is all and I was,

682
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 4: you know, because I was inherently you know, dysfunctional. Uh,

683
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 4: that's part of what gives me a bit of credibility now.

684
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,760
Speaker 4: Is that, you know, So when I talk about eating

685
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 4: issues and body dysmorphia and self loathing and you know,

686
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 4: being socially invisible and looking for approval, and that was me.

687
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 4: This isn't this isn't research I've done.

688
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,200
Speaker 3: This was me. This was my life.

689
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 4: So I know what it's like to be embarrassed, humiliated.

690
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 4: And there's no self pity in this because this happens

691
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,360
Speaker 4: to a lot of people, but there's you know, now,

692
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 4: all these years later, you kind of apart from my

693
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 4: technical and scientific knowledge, it helps me connect with people

694
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 4: because I love people and I don't want people to

695
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 4: feel that.

696
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,839
Speaker 3: But I want to go I get it.

697
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:54,240
Speaker 2: I've been their empathy.

698
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 4: I get it. It's not just a theory. I didn't

699
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 4: read this somewhere. I know what you feel.

700
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:02,880
Speaker 1: Totally, which makes you in neutropathy. We would say, like

701
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: the wounded healer, the healer that has been through that

702
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 1: wound is quite powerful. So you've described one tipping point

703
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 1: or have I actually had my next question for you

704
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 1: was like, what was your turning point? But after that,

705
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: so obviously there was a turning point swimming pool about

706
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:25,040
Speaker 1: to jump in fourteen years old then you know, up

707
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:29,839
Speaker 1: until fourteen to eighteen. Was you trained like a quote

708
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,600
Speaker 1: unquote crazy person, trained quite a lot, got heart, got

709
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:36,240
Speaker 1: the girlfriend, all that jazz. What about as an adult,

710
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,720
Speaker 1: whether were there any of those moments where you're like, whoa,

711
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 1: this is a turning point or a tipping point.

712
00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 4: So I carried all that mania into my adult years.

713
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 4: Of course I did, and then I became an insecure

714
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 4: bodybuilder because I was inherently insecure.

715
00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 2: Then I were you doing that healthy? Can I ask?

716
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 4: No?

717
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 2: Can I ask how you were doing it?

718
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,839
Speaker 4: So I did? Okay, So for the for the most part,

719
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:01,399
Speaker 4: I did it healthy. And then I ruptured my peck

720
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 4: in my early twenties, which got misdiagnosed as a bad

721
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 4: strain and it wasn't.

722
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 3: It was actually torn seventy percent off the bone.

723
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:09,160
Speaker 4: Wow.

724
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 3: Then pain.

725
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,799
Speaker 4: I found out too late really to have surgery. And

726
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 4: then I actually got prescribed what was it called a decagiablin,

727
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 4: which is a steroid by a doctor for the peck,

728
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 4: for the peck, for the tear. So I mean anyway,

729
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 4: so that was legit, But then there was probably a

730
00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 4: bit of not so legit for about a year after that.

731
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 4: And you know, the funny thing was then I mean

732
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 4: that was let's I don't know what I was. Let's

733
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,440
Speaker 4: say I was that. That would have been in the

734
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 4: mid eighties, so I was young, in my early early

735
00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 4: mid twenties. I mean, it was like it wasn't like

736
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 4: it is now in terms of there was no it

737
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 4: wasn't even banned. It was just you get it from

738
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 4: this bloke. It was like analogous to supplements anyway, a

739
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,239
Speaker 4: bit different now we know better now, but then you know,

740
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 4: and there was wrapped around that, because this is a

741
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 4: really interesting conversation too, is you know, well, who am I?

742
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 4: I got my entire sense of self and self worth

743
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 4: and identity from my body, largely, so love me, like me,

744
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 4: accept me, let me belong, approve of me. And because

745
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 4: I didn't think I was good enough, I always had

746
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:32,839
Speaker 4: to be the fittest, the strongest, the leanest, the best

747
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 4: built of this, which I wasn't any of that, by

748
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 4: the way, But that's that was the story. That was

749
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 4: my story, and I knew, I knew deep down that

750
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 4: that wasn't the case. But when you constantly get reinforced

751
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 4: approval from a certain thing, that it becomes hard not

752
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 4: to believe that.

753
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 3: That's how it is totally right.

754
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 4: And then I started working in the fitness industry, and

755
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 4: so I was in many ways I was a hypocrite

756
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 4: because I was teaching people things that I wasn't doing,

757
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,279
Speaker 4: you know, in that so very young I was, but

758
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 4: I was emotionally and mentally not I mean, I wasn't

759
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 4: you know, unhinged, but I still had lots of my

760
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 4: own shit. And I was a pretty good communicator, and

761
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 4: I was quite I could articulate things and explain things,

762
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 4: and I wasn't bad at doing my job. But away

763
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 4: from prying eyes, you know, I still wasn't walking all

764
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:33,480
Speaker 4: of the talk, and so, you know, and then there

765
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 4: was just a yeah, it was a journey, and it

766
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 4: was a journey of me.

767
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 3: You know.

768
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 4: Probably a story that might resonate with people is so

769
00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:43,880
Speaker 4: one day, I was probably in my bodybuilding phase, and

770
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 4: I was quite so I'm five nine and a half

771
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 4: and at the moment, I'm eighty seven eighty eight kilos

772
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,479
Speaker 4: and I've got a bit of muscle, but I'm not huge,

773
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 4: but I'm in good ish shape.

774
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 2: Right, he looks great.

775
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 4: I'm in okay shape. But at this stage I was

776
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 4: one hundred and five kilos leaner than I am now,

777
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 4: and I'm already lean.

778
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 3: Right. I was lean and I was massive.

779
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 2: It was body five percentage low five five or six.

780
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 4: And I remember I was living with a maid of

781
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 4: mine who thought I was a fuck wit, understandably, and

782
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 4: he was just not. He didn't. He was much cooler

783
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 4: than me. He had his shit together way more than me.

784
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,239
Speaker 4: And I was just still this insecure, fat kid living

785
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:27,279
Speaker 4: in this big, stupid body. And literally we were going

786
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 4: out on a Saturday night and I was.

787
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 3: Getting ready, he was getting ready.

788
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 4: I don't know where we're going, probably chasing girls or something,

789
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 4: and he's talking to me, and I'm talking to him

790
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 4: from the bathroom while I'm shaving, and he's shouting down

791
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 4: the hallway and I go, mate, I can't hear you.

792
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 4: So he walks down, he keeps talking. He gets into

793
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,439
Speaker 4: the bathroom and I'm standing in the bathroom in front

794
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 4: of the mirror, shaving, and I've got a pair of

795
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 4: jeans on, boots on, jeans on, and no shirt. And

796
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 4: he looks at me and he goes, what the fuck

797
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 4: are you doing? I go, what do you mean? What

798
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 4: do you mean? Like I thought, he meant, what do

799
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 4: you what do you as? In what activity you know,

800
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 4: I'm shaving? What do you He goes, No, what are

801
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 4: you doing? He goes, look at your body because he

802
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 4: hadn't seen me with no shirt right, And I go

803
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 4: what He goes, you look stupid? You look stupid? And

804
00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 4: I go, he goes, how big do you want to be?

805
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 4: How big do you want to be? How vanue do

806
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 4: you want? And he basically and I saw on his

807
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 4: face and he wasn't trying to be mean, he was

808
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:30,400
Speaker 4: just shocked. Yeah, He's like and it was almost like,

809
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 4: what is wrong with you? What is wrong with you

810
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 4: that you have to do this? And I just had

811
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:39,880
Speaker 4: an epiphany. I had a moment because deep down I

812
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 4: knew and so that kind of for me, I had

813
00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:43,600
Speaker 4: a bit of a moment.

814
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 2: In time that was another change.

815
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

816
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was me fearlessly failing and going, yeah, yeah,

817
00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 4: I need to change. I need to change the way

818
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 4: I think and I need to I need to find

819
00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 4: a way to get some self esteem and sense of

820
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 4: self from somewhere other than what the mirror tells me

821
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 4: or what people tell me.

822
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 1: Have you done so, whether it was that time or

823
00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 1: another time, have you done like mental health work on yourself?

824
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 3: Yeah?

825
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I also went, maybe like a lot

826
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 4: of your listeners, down the spiritual rabbit hole, which I

827
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 4: won't bore everyone with, but everything from rafter hanging, tambourine banging,

828
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 4: bloody evangelical Christianity to Buddhism, no Iahuasco, I've never done.

829
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 3: Nothing mind altering.

830
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, but a lot of my friends have done ahuasca interestingly.

831
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,760
Speaker 4: But yeah, I just I kind of got to the point.

832
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 4: And this was where my fascination with human behavior started,

833
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 4: really when I started to think, why am I like this?

834
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 4: Why do I think like this? Because the way that

835
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,279
Speaker 4: I think isn't healthy? And that's that, you know, I

836
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 4: remember years ago, must have been just after it came out.

837
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,279
Speaker 4: Eckhart told wrote a bunch of good books, but the

838
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 4: Power of Now, yeah, and a New Earth. But I

839
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 4: remember somebody gave me the Power of Now and I

840
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:07,880
Speaker 4: remember reading it and getting but I don't know, not

841
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 4: many pages in ten pages in gun this is shit,

842
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 4: Like this is just fucking pseudo spiritual fluff, right, And

843
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,439
Speaker 4: then five years later I picked it up and read

844
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 4: it and went, he's a genius. He's a genius, because

845
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 4: for whatever reason, I just wasn't there yet. You know

846
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,759
Speaker 4: and you know so and that's part of our own

847
00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 4: evolution to it totally.

848
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 3: Yeah.

849
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: So a part of your job is to empower and

850
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 1: motivate people or evoke motivation within people, even though I've

851
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 1: just kind of debunked motivation but human behavior.

852
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,200
Speaker 2: So is there any.

853
00:43:44,520 --> 00:43:47,560
Speaker 1: Moment of that that involves getting out of your own way?

854
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 2: Like is there a moment you need.

855
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,920
Speaker 1: To like let you face you shit, be aware of

856
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: it and kind of like get over yourself is I.

857
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 4: Think there's yes, definitely. And there's a big difference between

858
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,680
Speaker 4: self loathing and self awareness totally.

859
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 2: Do you want to unpack that?

860
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,839
Speaker 4: So self loathing is I'm a dicket, I'm a more

861
00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 4: on no one loves me, I'm unlovable on this on that,

862
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 4: and that comes from a place of fear and insecurity

863
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 4: and self doubt and all of that, and we all

864
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:09,799
Speaker 4: have done that.

865
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 3: I've done that.

866
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,439
Speaker 4: Self awareness is okay, so I fucked that up. What's

867
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 4: the lesson? Yeah, self awareness is I think I'm talking

868
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:23,799
Speaker 4: too much at the moment. Self awareness is how's this

869
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 4: podcast going? And that's self awareness? Self awareness is what's

870
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 4: the Craig experience like for other people? I ask CEOs

871
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 4: All the time, What do you think it's like being

872
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 4: around you?

873
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 3: Are?

874
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 4: They? Wow? Yeah, I go, what do you think that

875
00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 4: you experience is like? And I say to them, and

876
00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 4: I mean this in a nice way, because we're all

877
00:44:44,560 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 4: the same, me included. I guarantee you what you think

878
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,839
Speaker 4: of you is not what others think of you. Now,

879
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 4: that's nothing to worry about. That's something to consider totally,

880
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 4: because you are a communicator and a leader and a manager,

881
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,960
Speaker 4: guy or girl, same thing, even a mum or a

882
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 4: teacher or a dad or a coach or a mentor

883
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:10,360
Speaker 4: a role model. So you know, I remember seeing n

884
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 4: ninety five was no, it was earlier than that would

885
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,280
Speaker 4: have been. Early nineties. I did a gig with Steve Montaghetti,

886
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 4: an AFL club doctor whose name escapes me, and myself

887
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 4: at a men's health thing Campbwell civy call.

888
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,399
Speaker 3: I think it was town Hall.

889
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 4: Five hundred dudes us blokes, and it was filmed and

890
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 4: I I'd never seen me doing my thing, and they

891
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 4: sent me a VHS tape. Hilarious, right, And they sent

892
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 4: me this tape and I forgot it was there. And anyway,

893
00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 4: one night, a couple of weeks later, my then girlfriend

894
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 4: and I were sitting on the cow and she said,

895
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 4: what's this and I went, oh, that's that, and I

896
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 4: went and I thought I did a pretty good job.

897
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 4: She's like, let's watch it, and I'm like, yeah, let's

898
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 4: watch it, because I was fucking terrific put it in.

899
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:16,440
Speaker 4: Couldn't have been more humiliated, hated the way I looked, hated.

900
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 4: So as we're watching on the TV. So I had

901
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 4: a big rear data projection TV which was enormous with

902
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 4: about eight pixels, the worst quality picture ever. But all

903
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 4: I saw, and I'd never seen myself from the side.

904
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 4: As I come on to the stage, I see my

905
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 4: fucking nose come on right, and that gets there three

906
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,760
Speaker 4: minutes before the rest of me. And I'm just taking

907
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 4: in the side view of me, and I'm like, what

908
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 4: is going on with my head? And she's like, what

909
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 4: do you mean? I'm like, don't what do you mean me?

910
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:48,839
Speaker 4: Look at my nose. She's like, that's what your nose

911
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 4: looks like. And then I start to talk and I

912
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 4: sound terrible. I'm like, listen to my voice. And then

913
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 4: and then the content is not great. I thought it

914
00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 4: was a seven or an eight. It was a three

915
00:46:59,360 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 4: or a four.

916
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:00,800
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

917
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:05,720
Speaker 3: And I'm being honest, I was not very good.

918
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,000
Speaker 4: And then and I can tell you this because your

919
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 4: audience might appreciate it, It's true. And then I'm about

920
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 4: ten minutes in and Lola, I reached down and I

921
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,279
Speaker 4: just adjust my dick in front of everyone, in front

922
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:26,319
Speaker 4: of and my girlfriend looks at me and goes, what

923
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:27,280
Speaker 4: did you do?

924
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 3: I go oh, and I fell off the couch. I'm like,

925
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 3: turn it off. I couldn't watch and it.

926
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:37,880
Speaker 4: Was And so for me, that was my first, oh

927
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 4: this is what I'm like to be around moment. Oh

928
00:47:41,360 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 4: this is what watching and listening to me is like

929
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:48,200
Speaker 4: for other people. I went, fucking hell, I'm not funny,

930
00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 4: I've got a shit voice on borderline ugly, I'm not

931
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:56,399
Speaker 4: interesting at all? Right, could the self loathing came out?

932
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 4: But what it did was it really helped to me

933
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 4: become better at what I do. So there was that

934
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:06,720
Speaker 4: self loathing moment, and I was embarrassed and I hated it,

935
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,800
Speaker 4: and I never watched beyond that, never.

936
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:11,880
Speaker 3: Put it back in to insecure.

937
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 4: But what it did was it gave me a really

938
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,279
Speaker 4: good idea of what it's like being around me. And

939
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 4: that matters because we spend our life around people. Yeah,

940
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:23,759
Speaker 4: it matters what people think of you, not in an insecure,

941
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:26,800
Speaker 4: please love me, please like me, way, but it matters

942
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 4: that you understand because, for example, your job is communication

943
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 4: and connection. Like right now we're sharing thoughts and ideas

944
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 4: and stories. Now even if the data, the information, the stories,

945
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 4: the strategies are technically relevant and important and valid, but

946
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 4: the way that you and I share them is boring

947
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:51,040
Speaker 4: and dull and uninspirational, and people are not connecting, then

948
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:55,319
Speaker 4: we can't impact people the way we want to. So

949
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,279
Speaker 4: for me, as an educator and a coach, I want

950
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 4: to help people, but I can't help them if I

951
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 4: can't relate to them.

952
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 2: But so, how did seeing that impact change?

953
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:06,200
Speaker 4: Like?

954
00:49:06,239 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 2: What did it do?

955
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 1: Were you like, Okay, I'm going to give less of

956
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 1: a shit about the way I look because there are

957
00:49:09,920 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 1: certain things that we can't.

958
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 4: I can't change my nose, but it just gave me

959
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 4: in awareness, So but I probably could. But what I

960
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 4: did was I just I basically realized how un professional

961
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,880
Speaker 4: I was and how unprepared I was because I was

962
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 4: very freestyle and I just kind of winged it, and

963
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,239
Speaker 4: I'm like, I can't do that. I can't because you know, yeah,

964
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 4: I can just get up a bit funny because I'm

965
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 4: a bit amusing, and it didn't work.

966
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:43,319
Speaker 1: I love that you've touched on this idea of self

967
00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: awareness because I've always seen myself differently to how I am.

968
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: So the most common feedback I get when I'm on

969
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:52,919
Speaker 1: stage is wow, you don't look the way you sound. Yes,

970
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,720
Speaker 1: because obviously I figured out I've got a very bogan

971
00:49:56,840 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: Oka Australian accent and went to a private girls school

972
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 1: in two racks, so the two people were like, this

973
00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,560
Speaker 1: doesn't this doesn't match. And I've always known that and

974
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:08,800
Speaker 1: been okay with that. But it wasn't until I manage

975
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 1: staff at that smoothie bar that I walked in one day.

976
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,239
Speaker 1: My manager says, you're a proper real mermaid and I

977
00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 1: go what, And I thought, oh, she means my mermaid

978
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:18,479
Speaker 1: hair because I had really long hair.

979
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 2: At the time. She goes, real mermaids like in the

980
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 2: story books and in their fables.

981
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,719
Speaker 1: She's like, they are these things that seem beautiful and

982
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: soft and almost that there's like this enticing nature in them,

983
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:34,880
Speaker 1: and she goes, but they're fierce.

984
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 2: They eat you like.

985
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,879
Speaker 1: Mermaids back in the Pirate day with these beautiful things

986
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 1: that float around the ocean, but then they literally devour

987
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 1: you and eat you, and they'd reel you in with

988
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 1: their song and then they consume you.

989
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,480
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my god, what do you mean?

990
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:49,840
Speaker 2: And she's like, you're fierce.

991
00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: No one sees it until they need to, or you

992
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 1: know you're fighting for something, yes, And I didn't.

993
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,439
Speaker 2: I thought I never came out. I sure.

994
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 1: I imagine we've spent a few hours together now that

995
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 1: you would say I'm reasonably fierce as a trait of myself,

996
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:08,320
Speaker 1: I've probably I've spent time. That's why I asked about

997
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,600
Speaker 1: like kind of like getting over yourself. I give less

998
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 1: of a shit about that now, and I'm just like, well,

999
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 1: I'd rather be harnessing truth. And I think there's a

1000
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: beauty in you freestyling, because I know that's also some

1001
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,399
Speaker 1: of your style with what you do, but I think

1002
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 1: it's also this concept of going wow, like, yeah, I

1003
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 1: am seen in these other ways, and you are black.

1004
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 2: I know you grabbed your dick, but you are a

1005
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 2: blokey bloke like you are a blokey but that innately,

1006
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 2: and I'm not saying go on stage and do that again.

1007
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is like own the dude that

1008
00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:42,919
Speaker 1: you are, Like I now own that. Yeah, I can

1009
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 1: be this whimsical mermaid, but I can also when I

1010
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:49,000
Speaker 1: need to protect something or when I'm very passionate about something,

1011
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:52,359
Speaker 1: be fierce. Another interesting thing about what you said, how

1012
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 1: the first thing you saw was your schnoz. You know,

1013
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 1: in acting school, one of the first lessons we did

1014
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,440
Speaker 1: when we had to watch our seen back was the

1015
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:07,240
Speaker 1: acting teacher said, how do you feel seeing yourself?

1016
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 2: Are you self critical? And all the.

1017
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 1: Dudes in the room are like, nah, I'm fine. One

1018
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 1: guy's like, I film myself at the gym. I'm very

1019
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 1: comfortable seeing myself. And one girl said I wish I

1020
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: didn't wear that jump because it didn't make me look slim,

1021
00:52:19,719 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: And I said, like with wholeheartedly, honestly, I do not

1022
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:25,759
Speaker 1: like the look of myself. I think I'm ugly, I

1023
00:52:25,760 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 1: think i'm fat, like I'm a pretty small human, and

1024
00:52:28,719 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 1: I look after myself and I look after the way

1025
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 1: I look. Yet it was still showed me, and that

1026
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 1: was only about a month ago that I'm still severely insecure, but.

1027
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:38,800
Speaker 2: I'm also okay.

1028
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 1: To me, this is where and I'm rabbiting a bit.

1029
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:45,000
Speaker 1: But that's where self awareness is so powerful. Like I'm

1030
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:46,680
Speaker 1: happy admitting to.

1031
00:52:46,640 --> 00:52:48,479
Speaker 2: These listeners and to you and to anyone.

1032
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,759
Speaker 1: I mean that I'm massively insecure and I have huge

1033
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: insecurities that may or may not leave me, but it's

1034
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:56,480
Speaker 1: not going to stop me. And this is where it

1035
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 1: comes back to your motivation. It's not going to stop me.

1036
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 2: Do what I love.

1037
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:02,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love that.

1038
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 4: And what I love about you is that what you

1039
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 4: have which is in security everyone has, but you just

1040
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:13,439
Speaker 4: acknowledge it. Ah, yes, of course everyone. I have never

1041
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 4: met anyone who has no insecurity about something.

1042
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 3: Right.

1043
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 4: There are things where you are not insecure. There are

1044
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 4: aspects to who you are and what you do where

1045
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,239
Speaker 4: you are very confident and you probably have next to

1046
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,320
Speaker 4: no insecurity around that thing. But around other things or

1047
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:32,279
Speaker 4: other components of your human experience, there is insecurity.

1048
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 3: If I'm doing I remember.

1049
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,879
Speaker 4: Not last year, the year before, So I do over

1050
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,160
Speaker 4: one hundred corporate gigs a year, plus I do all

1051
00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:45,359
Speaker 4: my own events, So I'm in front of audiences at

1052
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:47,879
Speaker 4: at least one hundred and fifty times a year, maybe more.

1053
00:53:48,719 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 3: I had to go.

1054
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:53,960
Speaker 4: I had to go and do a gig in lawn

1055
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 4: for the Royal Australian College of Surgeons. Wow, so I'm

1056
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:03,560
Speaker 4: talking of three hundred surgeon Yes, hiik, I'm one hundred

1057
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 4: percent the dumbest person in the room. I just went

1058
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 4: in and went, ah, you know, and I said, this

1059
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,480
Speaker 4: is what I said, because there've been all these academic

1060
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 4: lecturers before me or presents s and they're very good.

1061
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 4: But I'm like, well, i can't compete with any of that.

1062
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 4: And I'm not here to talk about medicine or being

1063
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 4: a better doctor or a surgeon. I'm here to talk

1064
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 4: about how you manage you. And so my first my

1065
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,440
Speaker 4: first sentence was is it possible to be a surgeon

1066
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:30,800
Speaker 4: and a dickhead at the same time?

1067
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 3: Right?

1068
00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:34,880
Speaker 4: And half laughed and half are like, fuck, I'm not

1069
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 4: sure about this. And then we just opened that door

1070
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:41,880
Speaker 4: and spoke about the way that we self manage and

1071
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 4: the stories that we tell ourselves. And you know, like,

1072
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:47,120
Speaker 4: who you are is not what you do. You're a

1073
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 4: surgeon and you're all highly qualified and intelligent, and that's awesome,

1074
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,399
Speaker 4: but that's not who you are. That's your job, that's

1075
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 4: your career, that's your bank balance, that's your brand, that's

1076
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 4: your reputation, but none of that is you, and so

1077
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:05,000
Speaker 4: you know, and they it ended up going really well

1078
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,319
Speaker 4: and I got really nice feedback, which was good. But

1079
00:55:08,480 --> 00:55:13,040
Speaker 4: I'm insecure a lot. And it doesn't matter sometimes what

1080
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:16,719
Speaker 4: your track record is or how many It's like, you know,

1081
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 4: there's that thing. You'll get one hundred comments going lolla,

1082
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 4: you're awesome, and you'll get one going no, you're a mole, right,

1083
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,120
Speaker 4: and that's the one that you pay all your or Craig,

1084
00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:26,720
Speaker 4: you're a dickhead or you're a farkud.

1085
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 3: I get all of that.

1086
00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:30,359
Speaker 4: And you know, one of my lecturers said to me

1087
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 4: at university years ago, if you if if you want

1088
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:38,280
Speaker 4: to keep everyone happy, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing,

1089
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:42,000
Speaker 4: and stand for nothing. Yeah, And it's like it's so true,

1090
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:45,239
Speaker 4: and all you can do so this is and we

1091
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 4: spoke about this on my podcast. But all I do

1092
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 4: is I go, Okay, what are my non negotiables in

1093
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 4: terms of what I want to do?

1094
00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 2: Be?

1095
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:57,120
Speaker 4: Create my values? What are my values? What's my purpose?

1096
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:01,359
Speaker 4: What are my beliefs, what's my truth? Okay? Based on that,

1097
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,839
Speaker 4: what's non negotiable for me? And I know that all

1098
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 4: I can do is try to live in alignment, and

1099
00:56:08,680 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 4: I will fuck up, and some people will support me

1100
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:14,120
Speaker 4: and some people won't, and some people will stick around

1101
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 4: and some people won't. And that is the human experience.

1102
00:56:19,239 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 4: So all I can do is control me. I can't.

1103
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:25,719
Speaker 4: It's not in my interest to waste energy on things

1104
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 4: I can't control, which is other people's reactions, which is

1105
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 4: other people's decisions or behaviors around me.

1106
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:36,040
Speaker 2: And it's very easy to get caught up in that.

1107
00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 2: Definitely big time. I can't believe how friggin fast this

1108
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:41,040
Speaker 2: has gone. They've nearly hit.

1109
00:56:40,960 --> 00:56:45,800
Speaker 1: An hour, dude, so so and I know you've already

1110
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 1: hit this definitely many times in many different ways in

1111
00:56:49,360 --> 00:56:54,320
Speaker 1: this hour. But for people listening, what is like one

1112
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: just like change or take home? If they're like, oh

1113
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:00,759
Speaker 1: my goodness, okay, I do want to make my list

1114
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 1: of non negotiables. I do want to get to the

1115
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:06,960
Speaker 1: gym and not give up at their twenty one day mark,

1116
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 1: Like what is the way?

1117
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:10,520
Speaker 2: Is it a self worth thing or what's the one?

1118
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:16,000
Speaker 4: Everything comes at a cost, and you just need we

1119
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 4: need to be prepared to pay that price. So whether

1120
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:22,360
Speaker 4: or not it's a pair of shoes or a PhD.

1121
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,240
Speaker 4: I'm just back at UNI in my mid fifties. There's

1122
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 4: a big cost. I'm studying full time. It's not convenient,

1123
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:32,680
Speaker 4: it's not fun, it's not painless, it's not quick, it's

1124
00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:36,520
Speaker 4: not familiar. It's not easy that you know. But I

1125
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,880
Speaker 4: waited all up and went okay, So these are all

1126
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:40,320
Speaker 4: the things are you in, Craig?

1127
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:42,720
Speaker 3: Okay, okay? And it's all right?

1128
00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:47,479
Speaker 4: You know. The challenge for us is to recognize where

1129
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:56,040
Speaker 4: we are, where we want to be, either literally, financially, professionally, personally, physiologically, sociologically, relationships, whatever,

1130
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 4: Where do you want to be cool?

1131
00:57:58,520 --> 00:57:58,920
Speaker 3: Next?

1132
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 4: Then what's the price? What do you need to do

1133
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:05,040
Speaker 4: to get there? And then three will you do it?

1134
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 4: Because otherwise the rest is just fucking dialogue and theory.

1135
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:12,520
Speaker 2: How do you get that? Will you do it?

1136
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:12,720
Speaker 3: Though?

1137
00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 2: How do you get that point of like going?

1138
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 1: Because I know many influencers that have got like they

1139
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 1: talk to having manifesto books and dream journals and and

1140
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 1: I think it's much more than putting your goal under

1141
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 1: your bulow slip.

1142
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 4: You need to take away the safety in it and

1143
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:32,800
Speaker 4: then get out of jail card and you need to

1144
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 4: stop bullshitting yourself. I'm not all about ah fucking hardcore,

1145
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 4: but you need to stop fucking around, like truthfully, like

1146
00:58:39,280 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 4: we can all find a reason to not do stuff.

1147
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 4: But this is what I would say to anyone listening.

1148
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:45,480
Speaker 4: In a minute, you are going to be five years older.

1149
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 4: In a minute, you're going to wake up. You're going

1150
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 4: to be five years older, and your life is going

1151
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 4: to be either completely fucking different or exactly the same

1152
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,520
Speaker 4: or somewhere in between. And that is all about you.

1153
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 4: So you can rationalize, justify, explain, excuse you know, you

1154
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 4: can do whatever you want, but ultimately, the person driving

1155
00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,560
Speaker 4: your life, writing your story, painting your picture is you,

1156
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,160
Speaker 4: and you need to step up, own up, look up,

1157
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:15,400
Speaker 4: because life is unfair. People are pricks sometimes not all people.

1158
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 4: Some are beautiful, but some are pricks. Some people want

1159
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:21,680
Speaker 4: you to fail. Life is messy, it is awkward, it

1160
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 4: is painful, and in the middle of you of all

1161
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 4: of that is you, the decision maker, the action taker,

1162
00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:29,080
Speaker 4: and the reality creator.

1163
00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I love that.

1164
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 1: Did you see them the whole time You can't say

1165
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 1: because you're listening this, but the whole time that Craig

1166
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 1: was I just had this ginormous smile because.

1167
00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 2: You cut you. You literally slayed the bullshit just then.

1168
00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,360
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.

1169
00:59:45,760 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 3: Pleasure wonderful. I do my best.

1170
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:51,880
Speaker 1: I do my best, and you described me as real.

1171
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 1: But I believe that you're the real deal, and I

1172
00:59:54,120 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 1: believe that you share what is innately within you, and

1173
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,440
Speaker 1: I think that we're all so lucky you do that.

1174
01:00:01,560 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 2: So thank you.

1175
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:07,840
Speaker 3: Stop it, cry, thank you see ya. Love your guts everyone.

1176
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 2: Love your guts. I love that. That's your sign off,

1177
01:00:10,920 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 2: isn't it, Love your guts. Bye.

1178
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always,

1179
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:25,600
Speaker 1: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation

1180
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 1: on Instagram. I'm at Yamo lollaberry. This potty my word

1181
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 1: for podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love

1182
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: it if you could subscribe, rate and comment, and of

1183
01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: course spread the love.