WEBVTT - 6 months since my miscarriage 🕊 how i’ve healed & why we need to talk about it 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.920 So basically I spoke to the little soul and I 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:10.000 was just like, I just was like, it's okay, you 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:15.080 can leave, Like I don't need you to stay, because 0:00:15.080 --> 0:00:18.320 I think sometimes like you can kind of hold energy 0:00:18.360 --> 0:00:22.239 there because you feel attached to it. And so I 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:25.599 almost I almost just like gave this sort of soul 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:29.640 permission to leave and to like, you know, go off. 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:33.440 And I also remember saying something like, you know, like 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:48.720 come back to me when it's the right time. Welcome 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:51.840 back to the Rise and Conquer Podcast. I'm your host, 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:57.120 Georgie Stevenson, former lawyer turned entrepreneur, social media personality and 0:00:57.240 --> 0:01:01.560 personal development junkie. This podcast is for my girl gang 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:05.280 who want to feed their mind with positive and expansive 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:08.560 thoughts to help them step into their power and live 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:12.200 their most authentic life. We chat a variety of topics 0:01:12.280 --> 0:01:17.880 including mindset, business, relationships, health, and so much more. Basically, 0:01:18.000 --> 0:01:20.720 wherever you are on your journey, I want to help 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:24.480 you feel inspired and empowered to rise up and conquer 0:01:24.520 --> 0:01:27.320 your next bold move. I know that's going to look 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.360 different for everyone, but just no, I'm right here by 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:33.880 your side and that you have the RNC community behind you. 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:44.480 Let's do this. Hey guys, I just want to start 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:48.000 this episode with a trigger warning. In this episode, I 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:53.160 do talk about my miscarriage and loss. You know, if 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:57.320 you're currently experiencing this, first of all, sending you so 0:01:57.480 --> 0:02:01.240 much love and so much support, But this might be 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.560 a bit of a hard episode to listen to if 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.360 it's super fresh for you. Yeah, just wanted to put 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:10.400 a trigger warning in there, and yeah, send you hips 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:14.040 a love. Hello, and welcome back to the Rise and 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:19.120 Conquer Podcast. It is your host, Georgie Stevenson, and today 0:02:19.280 --> 0:02:24.000 I have a solo episode for you. You probably already 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:27.880 know by the title it is. It's a sensitive one 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:31.480 and I've honestly been meaning to do this for a 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:34.440 while and then, like every time, I kind of just 0:02:36.200 --> 0:02:39.600 can't bring myself to do it. But I did realize 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:44.560 it is it's either now it's coming up in a 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:50.359 few days that it's six months since I personally had 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:54.440 my miscarriage, and I do have an episode on that 0:02:54.639 --> 0:02:58.440 right at the start that I recorded. Honestly can't remember 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:02.000 what I said, but I guess I just wanted to 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:07.680 do an episode because, like I said in my first podcast, 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:11.919 I think it's something that happens to a lot of women, 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:15.400 but it's not necessarily something that we talk about. I 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.880 think there's a lot of shame around the topic, and 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.239 I think women, you know, have to deal with this 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.800 almost by themselves. And I really want to speak on 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:29.160 it because, yeah, I want more people to be aware. 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:32.680 I want to validate your feelings if you are going 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:37.760 through something similar. And also this episode might be helpful 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:41.160 if maybe you aren't going through something like this but 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:45.600 you have a friend, because my friends and family at 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:49.320 the time were so crucial to know how I coped. 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:51.120 So it's just going to be a bit of an episode, 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:54.000 almost like a bit of closure on the topic. I 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:56.120 feel like I can speak on it a bit more 0:03:56.200 --> 0:03:58.920 in depth now that it's you know, it's still fresh. 0:03:58.960 --> 0:04:01.840 I guess six months isn't that long. But I definitely 0:04:01.840 --> 0:04:05.960 do feel like a completely different person too late last year, 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:11.080 so I guess the backstory. And again, I don't think 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:13.320 I spoke about this on the podcast. I think I 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:16.960 kind of asked everyone just to like not ask me 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:21.239 questions about it, and I was just probably very vague, 0:04:21.279 --> 0:04:26.440 And that's just because Tim and me always just wanted 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:28.919 to you know, I share so much with you guys. 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:31.919 I share so much of my personal life on Instagram 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.040 and here in YouTube, and I love it and that's 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:38.480 my choice. And it's not like I don't want to 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:42.320 do that, but they're just ask certain things that I 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:45.760 guess I just don't feel. It's not so much comfortable, 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:48.760 but it's like there's just certain things I want to, 0:04:49.120 --> 0:04:52.520 you know, we want to deal with, and yeah, be 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:55.000 in private. You get the gist. I feel like I 0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:59.000 don't have to explain that, so I guess the first thing, 0:04:59.080 --> 0:05:03.200 and honestly, I don't. I don't think it matters either way. 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:07.240 I think a miscarriage is such a huge loss and 0:05:07.279 --> 0:05:10.440 such a trauma that it doesn't matter if you were 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:15.320 trying or not. Personally, me and Tim were trying, which 0:05:15.360 --> 0:05:19.920 is something I didn't really tell anyone. So I guess 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:22.800 a bit of a backstory is me and Tim had 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:26.480 been trying for quite some time, and I know when 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:28.560 I did record the podcast, I kind of said that 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:32.760 it was a surprise, and it was and that's just 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:36.000 because you know, me and Tim had been trying for 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:40.719 some time and it wasn't happening. And I'm I'm a 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:45.280 very proactive person. As you can probably imagine, and so I, 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:49.600 you know, it wasn't happening, and so I went for 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:51.720 like six months or so, let's just say. And then 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:54.440 so I went to the doctors, you know, just to 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:58.320 get some tests done. And that's actually when I found 0:05:58.360 --> 0:06:02.960 out about my order immune condition, which is called Hashi motos, 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:07.280 which is basically an audio immune condition of the thyroid, 0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:11.919 and it just means I had undirected thyroid. I also 0:06:12.000 --> 0:06:16.560 had really high antibodies, which is something that live in 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:20.560 your body that kind of attack your immune system or 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:23.839 just attack random things in your body because it thinks 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:29.200 it's like yeah, like it's in an immune response. And 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:32.560 so what was happening is my thyroid was getting attacked 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:35.839 and it's like, clearly my thiroid is part of my body, 0:06:35.839 --> 0:06:41.680 but my body was commune confused and that's an autoimmune reaction. Wow, 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:45.000 tongue died. So that's when I found out about that, 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:47.600 and that actually made so much sense because I had 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:49.720 all the symptoms for years and no one could really 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:55.560 figure it out. And so from that point, I you know, 0:06:55.640 --> 0:07:01.480 went and saw doctors had a whole sorry, from that point, 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:04.159 I went and saw specialists and was looking into it 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:07.320 and you know, a couple of weeks before we found 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:11.200 out we were pregnant, I actually had been told by 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:16.680 an endocrinologist, which is a hormone specialist, that I was infertile. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:21.520 So she just said, look, your body would not be 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:25.120 able to you know, produce a baby, hold a baby 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:31.320 because my hormones were crazy and yeah, it's just like 0:07:32.080 --> 0:07:36.400 my thyroid wasn't producing the right hormones and it was underactive. 0:07:36.680 --> 0:07:39.200 And basically she was like, look, your body would never 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:43.000 allow a pregnancy because it's kind it's like, you know, barely, 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:46.280 it's barely surviving itself. It's not going to be able 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:51.600 to yeah, host survivor pregnancy. So that's what I had 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:56.440 been told, and so I kind of completely shifted my 0:07:56.640 --> 0:08:02.640 mind away from yeah, any thoughts of trying or anything 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:06.480 like that, and really focused on the health issues. That's 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:11.000 also when I started to look into you know, breast 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:15.360 implant illness, and I saw so many ladies who developed 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:19.920 autoimmune conditions then got their implants out and were so 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:24.280 much healthier. And so that's when I had really like 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.400 set into motion that I was going to get my 0:08:26.440 --> 0:08:30.800 implants out. So I booked a consultation. I booked my 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:33.520 surgery and they actually had a cancelation so I could 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:37.360 get in literally within two weeks, and so that was like, 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:42.160 you know, my current reality. And then we found out 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:50.120 we were pregnant, and so you can imagine my mental 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:54.000 state of going through this whirlwind of a year of 0:08:54.080 --> 0:08:57.920 really wanting a pregnancy, trying so hard, then finding out 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.880 I was infertile at that point and you know, there's 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:05.040 no point, and then literally a couple weeks later finding 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:09.160 out I was in fact pregnant. It really felt like 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.920 a mirror, like a miracle, Like it really felt like, 0:09:13.360 --> 0:09:16.160 you know, we were given this thing and it was 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:19.679 so special and it wasn't meant to happen, but it 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:25.880 had happened for us that sort of scenario. So I 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:29.080 wasn't very far along when I miscarried. I think it 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:33.160 was only you know, like seven weeks. But in saying 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:36.079 that too, that's something else I really want to validate 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:40.040 is it does not matter how far along you are. 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:42.320 I think when you find out you're pregnant and you 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:46.199 know you do want that pregnancy, it's like it sparks 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:50.120 this like and especially because I'm like a planner and 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:53.920 a visionary sort of person, like I had already planned 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:57.880 my whole fucking next couple of years and envision what 0:09:57.920 --> 0:10:00.120 life would be like, and you know, in vision and 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.679 to him as a father and all these things, like 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:07.800 you just you kind of do it instantly, And miscarriages 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:13.679 really wasn't something that were talked about for me personally. 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:16.560 I actually had my best friend had a miscarriage, so 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:21.520 I didn't know about it. But I also, like my family, 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:24.679 I have three older brothers who all have like three kids, 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:27.000 who had kids, you know, when they were twenty one, 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:30.400 who have like or had you know what I know 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:36.679 of healthy pregnancies or fallen pregnant very fast. So I 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:40.800 kind of didn't even think about, you know, miscarriage being 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:42.920 a possibility, and it's not like something you really want 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:46.440 to think about. But yeah, so when you know, we 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:52.000 did find out we were miscarrying, because I wasn't as 0:10:52.040 --> 0:10:55.320 far as long it could just all happen naturally, so 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:57.839 I didn't have to get a DNC or anything like that. 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:03.360 But still it was just like one of the most 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:11.600 traumatic and hard experiences I have ever been through. And still, 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:15.000 you know, still to this day, it gets me upset, 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.200 and I think that's why I have put off you 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:21.719 know this podcast, but in saying that, I think it's 0:11:21.760 --> 0:11:25.120 really important to talk about it because I chose to 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:31.400 share this on my social media and the like, the like, 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:36.080 the love and support I received was so huge, and 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:40.680 it was like it was really it was really helpful 0:11:40.720 --> 0:11:43.360 for me at that time because not only, you know, 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:45.839 did I receive a lot of love and support, but 0:11:46.600 --> 0:11:50.559 I also could talk to other females who had gone 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:53.560 through what I had gone through because I don't know 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:56.720 the feelings that you feel. It's like and this is 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.280 also something I want to touch on and I could 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.600 literally do a whole Another episode is like, you know, 0:12:01.640 --> 0:12:05.800 when you're trying to get pregnant and it's not happening 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:10.840 and you're seeing all these other pregnancy announcement like one 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:14.320 of my pet hates, like Presley was like you would 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:18.439 hear other influencers literally say it took them one try, 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:21.280 like the first month and they were pregnant, and you're 0:12:21.320 --> 0:12:25.360 just sitting there going are you fucking serious? Like it 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:31.240 was the most triggering thing for me. Okay, r n C, fam, 0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:34.720 I'm going too quickly interrupt myself to ask you a 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:39.719 couple of wellness questions. Do you get enough sleep? Do 0:12:39.760 --> 0:12:44.320 you wake up feeling rested? 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By now we 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.000 know that if we aren't getting good sleep, we're not 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.120 going to be focused during the day. We know it 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:25.960 affects our mood and often we will overeat because our 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:29.200 body is looking for energy. So if you want to 0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:33.320 start with a wellness product, you will not regret Moonmilk. 0:14:34.120 --> 0:14:38.560 It's honestly life changing and I'm not even being dramatic 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:43.320 since getting amazing sleep, it just completely changes my whole 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:48.120 entire day. And yeah, so many testimonials from our NH 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:52.760 gang who agree and who are experiencing the same amazing 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:56.680 results as so RNC fam. If it sounds like something 0:14:56.800 --> 0:15:00.120 you need, I also have a sneaky discount for you. 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.840 You can just enter Rise and Conquer Podcasts at checkout 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:08.360 that is spelled completely out, no symbols, and I will 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:11.000 put a link in the show notes and the code 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:15.200 and the show notes. But enough about wellness. Let's get 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:20.920 back into the show and like to be completely honest, 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:23.960 like when you're trying and it's not happening, like you 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:27.600 can feel like shame around that because it's kind of like, 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:29.600 you know, this is what I'm this is what my 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.360 body is meant to do. And yeah, like I said, 0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:35.840 that's a whole nother podcast in itself. So then when 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:39.400 it does happen and it doesn't work out, there's just 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:44.040 so many feelings of shame. What did I do? You know, 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:48.880 why can't my body hold this pregnancy? And it's really 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:53.040 I guess it's really validating when you speak to other 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:57.960 people and their feelings, which really helped me. And so 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.800 obviously you know you have to feel completely comfortable, but 0:16:01.840 --> 0:16:05.480 I do encourage you to reach out to other people 0:16:05.760 --> 0:16:09.280 or talk about it. It was, Yeah, it was really 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:14.080 helpful for me personally to kind of I guess just 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:17.000 like no other people are in the same boat, go 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:20.520 through the same things. And for me, what was very 0:16:20.560 --> 0:16:23.120 helpful is like to see people say like, you know, 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:29.360 they got through it, They're okay now. So yeah, I 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:32.360 think also like a huge thing that helped me was 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:34.760 just like I'm a huge introvert, so I love being 0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:38.160 by myself. Is like I just took a couple of 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:41.000 weeks off, well I kind of had to because I 0:16:41.120 --> 0:16:44.600 then had my implant removal surgery literally I think a 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:48.640 week later, which was honestly kind of good because I 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:51.880 was recovering from that also. And so I think sometimes 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:56.480 with a miscarriage, you know, it can just feel like 0:16:56.960 --> 0:17:00.680 mental but it's like you need to take time off, 0:17:00.720 --> 0:17:06.679 you need to feel your feelings. And yeah, so I 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.960 really encourage you to like feel your feelings, take time off, 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:12.720 like take time off work. I saw the other day 0:17:12.760 --> 0:17:18.280 that just Cinder the New Zealand, I think prime minister, 0:17:18.359 --> 0:17:20.600 I think that's what they call well, I'm so bad 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:24.040 with politics. They have just implemented a new rule where 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:28.280 it's like anyone who has a miscarriage is entitled to 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:32.920 leave off work. And yes, it's so important because when 0:17:32.920 --> 0:17:35.400 you're trying to deal with your feelings and then it'll 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:39.000 also like show up normal for other people, it's like 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:42.800 you just can't. So it was really helpful. Just the 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:46.280 first couple of weeks is I literally did no work. 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:51.000 I just was at home. I really you know, relished 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:56.240 in being by myself. And yeah, I guess like feeling 0:17:56.280 --> 0:17:58.959 the feelings was huge for me because I think sometimes 0:17:59.000 --> 0:18:02.000 you know, any sort of feelings, we don't necessarily want 0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:05.000 to feel them, but if we don't feel them, like 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:07.280 we're not going to deal with them and we're just 0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:09.399 going to push them down and they're going to come 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:15.639 out in other ways like anxiety and depression and whatnot. 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:18.280 I think a huge feeling that I felt that I 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:23.439 very much want to validate is like hopelessness, like you know, 0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:27.160 and oh my god, if you if you know someone 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:29.600 who's going through this, the worst thing you can say 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:33.480 is like, you know, don't worry, you can keep you 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:37.280 can try. You know, you can try again. This is 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.560 a good sign. Means you're fertile. Like I was literally 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:44.800 just like shut the fuck up, like don't don't say 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:48.000 any of that, like or even and this is like 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:49.679 I know I say this all the time, but like, 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.760 you know, everything happens for a reason, and don't get 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:56.879 me wrong. Now I can look back that one hundred 0:18:56.960 --> 0:19:02.520 percent happened for a reason, and yeah, like if I 0:19:02.520 --> 0:19:05.240 hadn't had the miscarriage, I wouldn't been able to get 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:08.959 the surgery and just a whole you know, list of things. 0:19:09.000 --> 0:19:12.480 So now that I'm like six months past, it is like, yeah, 0:19:12.600 --> 0:19:15.080 I can see the bigger picture and I can see that, 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.320 but when you're in it, it's like the worst thing 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:20.679 that people just being like, oh, you know, like everything 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:23.040 happens for a reason, like obviously it wasn't meant to be, 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:27.080 and you're literally like shut the fuck up. So if 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:32.359 you're someone's friend, like don't do that. And yeah, you 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:34.520 go through a lot of feelings, like there's shock and 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:37.359 denial and I guess like the stages of grief like 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:42.720 anger and guilt and depression to spare hopelessness, like feel 0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:46.200 of those feelings go through it. No, they are so valid, 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:50.000 And like I said, it does not matter if it 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:54.880 was four weeks, if it was you know, a small 0:19:54.880 --> 0:19:58.359 amount of time is like a pregnancy really signifies this 0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:02.479 like hope, this new beginning, this new chance, and then 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:05.800 when that is taken it away, it's yeah, it's really 0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:09.560 it's really hard. It doesn't matter how early on in 0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.760 the pregnancy. Like don't get me wrong, I could imagine 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:15.840 how fucking hard it would be if I was further along. 0:20:16.720 --> 0:20:18.920 But I also want to make sure I validate people 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:22.719 who you know or even someone maybe you weren't trying 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:25.480 and you had a miscarriage, Like that's still going to 0:20:25.520 --> 0:20:28.080 be so extremely hard because I'm sure there was a 0:20:28.119 --> 0:20:30.359 stage there where you you know, decided that you did 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:35.440 want to keep it, and I think, you know, make sure, 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:38.160 like talk to your partner. It was a little hard 0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:41.199 with me and Tim because Tim isn't a huge talker, 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:44.160 and I feel like, you know, males are a little 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:48.879 bit different. They're not carrying something inside them. Their body 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:51.919 doesn't change, like they don't get the symptoms like I remember, 0:20:51.960 --> 0:20:57.679 I got pregnancy symptoms hardcore, like smell was making me 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:01.800 feel sick and I was feeling very unware. Well, to 0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:04.240 be completely honest, it wasn't didn't seem like it was 0:21:04.280 --> 0:21:06.280 going to be a great pregnancy because I was so 0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:10.800 sick even right at the start. And yeah, so I 0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:12.760 think it was a little bit hard for Tim to resonate, 0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:16.840 but he was obviously so supportive. But you know, make 0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:20.800 sure you're leaning on your partner, talking to them and yeah, 0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:23.520 like I said, just like no, it's like I think 0:21:23.560 --> 0:21:26.560 it's like the statistic it's like one in four pregnancies 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:32.160 and in miscarriage. So I guarantee you there's people around you. 0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:35.120 And that's like when I did the post on Instagram, 0:21:35.200 --> 0:21:37.800 there were so many people who I knew had experienced it, 0:21:37.960 --> 0:21:40.480 who I you know, didn't know how to experienced it. 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:44.600 Speaking about it really helped me, but obviously that's such 0:21:44.640 --> 0:21:49.840 a personal choice. And then just like I know this 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:53.359 is like so hard, but know that it's like time 0:21:53.600 --> 0:21:57.800 does heal all. For me, it was just about focusing 0:21:58.119 --> 0:22:03.800 on focusing on feeling my feelings, feeling it all, but 0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:09.080 also knowing that you know, I will feel happier one day. 0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:12.919 I will kind of get there. I just needed to 0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:17.280 go through this shitty part. And then also what I 0:22:17.359 --> 0:22:20.280 wanted to touch on. That's something that really helped me. 0:22:22.200 --> 0:22:25.280 So when me and him were trying, I was reading 0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:31.000 this book called Spirit Babies. Let me just google the author. Okay, 0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:33.439 So the book is called Spirit Baby is How to 0:22:33.560 --> 0:22:37.919 Communicate with the Children Child You're Meant to Have And 0:22:37.960 --> 0:22:43.439 it's by Walter Mick Hitchen and he is a clairvoyant. 0:22:44.760 --> 0:22:47.679 So super woo woo book. But you know, do you 0:22:47.720 --> 0:22:51.120 expect anything less from me? And so I had been 0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:55.840 recommended to read it, and I think I was listening 0:22:55.880 --> 0:22:59.679 to a podcast saying and she recommended it, and I 0:22:59.720 --> 0:23:02.439 do highly recommend, like if you are someone who is 0:23:02.480 --> 0:23:05.640 either trying and it's not happening, or going from a miscarriage. 0:23:06.680 --> 0:23:09.840 It was a really good book. So what I had 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:16.879 been doing previously to you know what happened. I was 0:23:16.920 --> 0:23:20.960 doing these spirit baby meditations and look bet with me, 0:23:21.359 --> 0:23:25.440 And basically there were just meditations where I would connect 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:29.040 with black I guess the soul of my future child 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:33.360 and draw them in and just like establish that connection. 0:23:33.640 --> 0:23:37.200 So when it was time, you know, for the soul 0:23:37.359 --> 0:23:40.680 to come down and whatnot, it would all happen anyway. 0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:43.040 So in this book he just goes through all these 0:23:43.040 --> 0:23:46.919 scenarios of like, you know, people who were trying and 0:23:46.960 --> 0:23:49.840 what they needed to do differently, or if someone was 0:23:49.880 --> 0:23:56.399 having pregnancy complications and whatnot. And also in the book 0:23:56.440 --> 0:24:00.240 he explains that you know, everyone's on every soul on 0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:04.520 their carmic journey, so if the pregnancy does end in 0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:09.040 a miscarriage, that is what that soul has chosen and 0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:11.560 it's nothing to do with you. And I think that 0:24:11.680 --> 0:24:17.560 was just very helpful for me because because I felt 0:24:17.920 --> 0:24:21.479 like the pregnancy you know, didn't happen because of my 0:24:21.960 --> 0:24:25.639 thyroid issues, I just had a lot of guilt. It's like, 0:24:26.200 --> 0:24:29.399 you know, guilt that my body couldn't hold the pregnancy 0:24:29.480 --> 0:24:33.960 like I couldn't you know, hold the baby, and so 0:24:34.240 --> 0:24:37.800 it just it was just a lot, and so you know, 0:24:37.920 --> 0:24:43.280 to have that other perspective was just very helpful for me. 0:24:44.119 --> 0:24:45.960 And then the last thing I want to touch on 0:24:46.440 --> 0:24:52.959 and I'm definitely gonna cry even more because it's just 0:24:53.000 --> 0:24:57.160 like it was such a surreal experience. But something else 0:24:57.200 --> 0:25:00.760 that I very much encourage. And I was dming my 0:25:00.920 --> 0:25:05.760 friend Chloe Zepp on Instagram and she was open about 0:25:05.800 --> 0:25:09.560 having a miscarriage briefly, so we were dming. We have 0:25:09.600 --> 0:25:12.520 been friends for years because I know her sister Amy, 0:25:13.119 --> 0:25:15.800 and so we were dming and she was saying something 0:25:15.840 --> 0:25:19.960 that really helped her was getting a womb clearing, like 0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:23.600 an energy clearing by like an energy worker. I guess, 0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:25.439 like I think it's called Riki. I don't know if 0:25:25.480 --> 0:25:28.800 it's the same. So I had this girl called Danny 0:25:28.880 --> 0:25:32.520 do it, and oh my god, it was definitely needed 0:25:32.560 --> 0:25:36.240 and also helpful for me. And I'll put Danny's details 0:25:36.320 --> 0:25:42.240 in the show notes. She's obviously Gold Coast based, so 0:25:42.320 --> 0:25:45.399 if you're on the Gold Coast. But anyway, so I 0:25:45.560 --> 0:25:48.639 got a womb c and also, guys, that's not like 0:25:48.640 --> 0:25:51.119 a like a shout out or anything like that like 0:25:51.160 --> 0:25:53.679 obviously paid for her services. She was very good. But 0:25:53.800 --> 0:25:55.840 obviously if you need it, I think it would be 0:25:55.920 --> 0:26:02.040 super helpful where basically she goes in and she just 0:26:02.280 --> 0:26:06.879 clears any stagnant energy in your womb, if the spirit 0:26:07.280 --> 0:26:11.600 you know is still there, and any blocks, and that 0:26:11.800 --> 0:26:16.320 just helps you deal with you know, deal with the 0:26:16.359 --> 0:26:18.760