WEBVTT - MINI: Christian Broke a Window!

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<v Speaker 1>Christian Christian O'Connell's show podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a Christian O'Connell show. The song that sums up

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<v Speaker 2>my weekend is this.

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<v Speaker 3>I love the sound of breaking up.

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<v Speaker 2>I I'm telling now, at the age of forty seven,

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<v Speaker 2>the horror when you go, oh God, no, the world

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<v Speaker 2>that opens up when you break a window in your

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<v Speaker 2>house at the age of forty seven is exactly the

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<v Speaker 2>age of the same horror that you felt when you

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<v Speaker 2>were thirteen. Last time I broke a window, I was thirteen.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a soccer ball, practicing free kicks in the

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<v Speaker 2>garden and my aim wasn't quite good enough, and my

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<v Speaker 2>mum happened to be literally washing up in the kitchen

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<v Speaker 2>by the kitchen window looking into the garden has this

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<v Speaker 2>big old leather football. You know, when you know it

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<v Speaker 2>was curving. I mean, David Beckham would love the curve.

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<v Speaker 2>I put on that literally aiming for the wall. It

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<v Speaker 2>was aiming for the all, but that ball was aiming

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<v Speaker 2>for the window and my mama's.

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<v Speaker 3>Face and it just went.

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<v Speaker 2>Shattered, glass falling in and into the washing base and

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<v Speaker 2>stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 4>Why you do.

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<v Speaker 3>All I heard was bucket money.

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<v Speaker 2>You know you work out there as the subtext going on.

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<v Speaker 2>So that was back when I was thirteen in.

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<v Speaker 3>Nineteen eighty six.

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<v Speaker 2>Over the weekend, I've been trying to convince my wife, right,

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<v Speaker 2>when you are in a relationship and to be married

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<v Speaker 2>for a while, it's like you're running a business together,

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<v Speaker 2>and so any new purchases have to be preappoo vibed

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<v Speaker 2>by the other kind of shareholder, okay, And I'm trying

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<v Speaker 2>to convince her in the garage to see if I

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<v Speaker 2>can have an indoor kind of golf setup where I

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<v Speaker 2>can practice my swing.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not talking about the setup Andy Lee's got, No,

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<v Speaker 3>he's got a professional beach.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, that's Jeff Bezos. What I need is a

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<v Speaker 2>more budget version of that. So at the moment I've

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<v Speaker 2>been looking at is it two budget to have a

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<v Speaker 2>washing line with some old secondhand rugs? Draights over that

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<v Speaker 2>and I whacked the ball into Okay, So if anyone

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<v Speaker 2>does know about a very budget home golf setup, please

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<v Speaker 2>let me know what to do. So my wife said, fine,

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<v Speaker 2>but does you not practice any golf inside the house

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<v Speaker 2>or outside the house. Now I did agree on that

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<v Speaker 2>right the golf swing. However, over the weekend I was

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<v Speaker 2>getting very frustrated, put the final touches to my book,

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<v Speaker 2>and so I just thought, I just need a distraction.

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<v Speaker 3>Five minutes I.

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<v Speaker 2>Picked up golfers will know this my pitching wedge, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>and this is for more shorter shots. Okay, it's got

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<v Speaker 2>higher loft on. It should get a bit of height,

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<v Speaker 2>all right. So I thought I can practice this in

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<v Speaker 2>the house. This is the only club I've got some

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<v Speaker 2>control over. Keyword here inside the house.

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<v Speaker 3>All right.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking it's not the swing. I'm not like going

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<v Speaker 2>fall back with it. I'm just going back three or

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<v Speaker 2>four inches. I'm still learning how to play golf is

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<v Speaker 2>the other thing. I don't have any control anyway. Unless

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<v Speaker 2>the first shot right, I can see the dogs. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>lining it up right, and I remember my coach told me, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>so it's just a very small pendulum, okay, body weight forward.

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<v Speaker 3>I hit a very good.

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<v Speaker 2>Pitch shot right that was too good for the small

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<v Speaker 2>distance side it to cover, and it just hit at

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<v Speaker 2>the golf ball whacked that window cracked like a spider's web,

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<v Speaker 2>opened up right and straight away the kids come running down.

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<v Speaker 3>What was that? And I'm literally stood there. I'm thirteen again.

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<v Speaker 3>The grounded and the first.

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<v Speaker 2>Of the said Mom's gonna go mad, and then run

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<v Speaker 2>back up to ring her.

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<v Speaker 3>That's an up in the house, right then, let my phone.

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<v Speaker 2>My phone is going barely seconds later, tell me they're joking, Chris.

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<v Speaker 2>She just loses it. She cracks an even bigger problem

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<v Speaker 2>than the window pane. But do you know what, You

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<v Speaker 2>can sort the glacier out on Monday. Anyway, how did

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<v Speaker 2>you break a window? Let's get some calls in, Mick,

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<v Speaker 2>how did you break the window?

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<v Speaker 3>Wasn't I It was my brother.

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<v Speaker 1>He managed to break two windows in the same location,

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<v Speaker 1>in the same manner within a week.

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<v Speaker 3>That's incredible. Tell us about the first.

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<v Speaker 1>Break, Well, he used to walk down the corridor towards

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<v Speaker 1>their room, sort of kicking his shoes off as he

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<v Speaker 1>went and flicking them into the bedroom footloose. One of

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<v Speaker 1>them went through the window above he's.

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<v Speaker 3>Dead, which is a great change to do that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he was issued with a severe reprimand the window

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<v Speaker 1>was replaced, and a week later he managed to do

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<v Speaker 1>the same thing in.

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<v Speaker 3>The manner with the old kicking off the shoes.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Now, I wasn't party to a conversation that took

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<v Speaker 1>place between him and my father, but needless to say,

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<v Speaker 1>the performance was never repeated.

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<v Speaker 3>That's incredible, make great story, well told. Thank you now

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<v Speaker 3>worries kids, Scott. I'm good, Scott.

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<v Speaker 2>I heard you had a great weekend. Thanks for colling

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<v Speaker 2>the show. How did you break the window?

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<v Speaker 4>Well, yeah, it's three weeks ago. We were having a

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<v Speaker 4>dinner party and we're making a homemade bavioli and the

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<v Speaker 4>kids were messing around out the back. So I went

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<v Speaker 4>out and told moss I come back in. They tried

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<v Speaker 4>to make a joke me and we're carrying on at

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<v Speaker 4>the window and I went to knock on the window,

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<v Speaker 4>hit at once in me hand went straight through. A

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<v Speaker 4>bit of glass went straight through my hand. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>blood squirting everywhere like a horror movie. So obviously everybody's panicking.

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<v Speaker 4>We'll call an ambulance, We'll go to hospital. I refused,

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<v Speaker 4>we were going to dinner first, So I put my

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<v Speaker 4>t shirt around it.

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<v Speaker 3>Square, quite a little bit of blood in there for

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<v Speaker 3>a bit of exercause.

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<v Speaker 4>Everybody's going that you've got to go. You're turning what

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<v Speaker 4>And we went to the hospital an air and a

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<v Speaker 4>half later.

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<v Speaker 3>And after you had that ravioli, after we.

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<v Speaker 4>Had the ravioli. Three days later, I had surgery to

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<v Speaker 4>sew back the muscle belly, but I did get to

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<v Speaker 4>finish a raviolid.

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<v Speaker 2>Banging on that window, Scott to put notice your you

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<v Speaker 2>didn't put your finger, that you put your whole fist

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<v Speaker 2>through it.

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<v Speaker 3>The Christian O'Connell Show podcast