WEBVTT - One of us hates Christmas!

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yea, yea.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm still staring at a moment when I was singing upstairs.

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<v Speaker 1>I can't come good.

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<v Speaker 2>I like put an accent on.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh go give me, and I know I can't remember

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<v Speaker 1>what it.

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<v Speaker 2>Was I was, but I thought to myself, maybe that's

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<v Speaker 2>why I've never been a good singer, because I'm trying

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<v Speaker 2>to sing in my normal talking voice. I need to

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<v Speaker 2>sing in like.

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<v Speaker 1>You're stuck, mama, mama.

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<v Speaker 2>Man?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that the frog singing? It? Put it murmur?

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<v Speaker 2>I can't think of the song, and I was upstairs

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<v Speaker 2>going shit. Am I about to stumble upon the fact

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<v Speaker 2>that I can sing?

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<v Speaker 1>My imagine will release an album?

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<v Speaker 2>I do want to hear about your hemorrhoids. Oh yes,

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<v Speaker 2>but let me just do an intro and then we

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<v Speaker 2>can get straight into your asshole. Welcome back to two

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<v Speaker 2>doting dads.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Mattie Jay and I'm as And this is a podcast,

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<v Speaker 3>a long one, and what she said, this is a

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<v Speaker 3>podcast all about parenting.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. And if

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<v Speaker 2>you have come wanting any advice, I'm sorry to say

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<v Speaker 2>that for legal reasons, we do have to make it

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<v Speaker 2>known that none is given in any capacity. On this

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<v Speaker 2>podcast zero Ash Hemorrhoids.

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<v Speaker 1>I did mention to you this morning when we were

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<v Speaker 1>on the Today Show. For those of you who did

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<v Speaker 1>see little flex there, you've dropped second time this year.

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<v Speaker 2>Congratulations, thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>That's more times than I've ever been on anything. Yeah, look,

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<v Speaker 1>de Roid's back.

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<v Speaker 2>What happened?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know?

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<v Speaker 2>Is it big? Because I'm very green here in the

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<v Speaker 2>world of hemorrhoids? Are you pushing too hard?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it just think I just must be sitting there

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<v Speaker 1>too long? Too often? My assholes?

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<v Speaker 2>A mystery you keep sending me. This is like the

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<v Speaker 2>second version of doing it videos of you on the

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<v Speaker 2>toilet where you take your shirt off as a skit.

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<v Speaker 2>How often do you go to the bathroom and then

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<v Speaker 2>have to remove remove your T shirt because cook happened?

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<v Speaker 2>Does that happen?

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<v Speaker 1>It's a real sweaty one a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you saying like once a week, twice a week?

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<v Speaker 1>Nah, once a week? Maybe I'll get a bit hot and.

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<v Speaker 2>Bothered and so currently Are you in any discomfort right now?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I'm right now. I haven't got to that point.

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<v Speaker 1>But I did shit a leaf the other day, but

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<v Speaker 1>just this podcast, what the fuck is going on over here?

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<v Speaker 2>When we left the Today Show and we will explain

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<v Speaker 2>why we were on the Today Show in just a second.

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<v Speaker 2>But when we left, you said, I have to do

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<v Speaker 2>it pooh, And I said, there's a toilet, there's a

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<v Speaker 2>toilet around the corner. And you're like, I'm not doing it.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's about a half an hour. It's a half

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<v Speaker 2>an hour drive from where the studio is to your home.

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<v Speaker 2>How did you go in the drive home?

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<v Speaker 1>I said, I just have to fart it out, And

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<v Speaker 1>then I carried on about how I love farting the

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<v Speaker 1>car because it mixes with the air.

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<v Speaker 2>What is wrong with when it reverberates off the leather?

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, you did poo out a leaf.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a full leaf, look like a maple leaf

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<v Speaker 1>or kind of leaf. Like I didn't go and inspect it,

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<v Speaker 1>like a eucalyptus fucking leaf.

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<v Speaker 2>Though, what have you been eating?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>How do you know it was a leaf? It was

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<v Speaker 2>very scratched on the way out.

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<v Speaker 1>No, no, it's separated from the main pile. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>what is coming out of my mouth? And floated to

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<v Speaker 1>the surface and it was I could still see the

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<v Speaker 1>veins in it. Oh my God, please ignore anything I've

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<v Speaker 1>just said. Do not let that judge let you do it?

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<v Speaker 2>Will you go to the doctor?

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<v Speaker 1>No, yea, I will actually yep.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry, come on mate, come on, Yeah, my wife booked

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<v Speaker 2>me a doctor's appointment, did she.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm a man. I can't do myself. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>he dig demand there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we suck.

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<v Speaker 1>Well.

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<v Speaker 2>I am wishing you were speedy recovery.

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<v Speaker 1>Thank you?

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<v Speaker 2>You see it?

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<v Speaker 1>No, believe, I don't keep it.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to see the hemorrhoid.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I don't even want to see.

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<v Speaker 2>We're not there yet.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to see it.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't wait.

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<v Speaker 1>I told you I'm going with the cream real blind

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<v Speaker 1>because I don't want to see it.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to know. When we're at the point

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<v Speaker 2>where we can confidently show each other our hemorrhoids, that's

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<v Speaker 2>where that's where I've wanted to be for an entire time.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll get there. We'll get there maybe.

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<v Speaker 2>But we have to talk about Yeah, Today's Show. Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>shout out to the Today Show for having a song.

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<v Speaker 1>They're definitely listening after that shit talk.

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<v Speaker 2>It's always we threw the idea around. We said, hey,

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<v Speaker 2>we've got this calendar. It's the sexiest unofficially the sexiest

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<v Speaker 2>calendar ever made Correct Chor Play twenty twenty four. He said,

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<v Speaker 2>would you have us on the show and they said absolutely,

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<v Speaker 2>we would love to, and ASHNEI said, it could be

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<v Speaker 2>funny if we come on in bathrobes, budges underneath and

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<v Speaker 2>new Balance sneakers, New Balance sneakers extra wide with the

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<v Speaker 2>white sock high sock, non angler midigh and mid high sock.

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<v Speaker 1>It's an awkward length sock.

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<v Speaker 2>It is who was binding you know what it is?

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<v Speaker 1>It's meant to be a full length white sock. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>but Dad's bought it and he's bought the six to

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<v Speaker 1>eight size instead of the eight.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes.

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<v Speaker 1>When they slipped down.

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<v Speaker 2>To people were looking at us, like, what the hell

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<v Speaker 2>are these two guys? To poor cleaner, I said, I'll

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<v Speaker 2>bring some cleaning equipment. So I rock up and you

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<v Speaker 2>have to come from the basement up to the reception.

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<v Speaker 2>You sign in, and I have a mop and I

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<v Speaker 2>have the dust. And as I'm coming towards the main

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<v Speaker 2>reception desk, I spot the cleaner who's there with a

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<v Speaker 2>trolley and her mop bucket. She looks at me. I

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<v Speaker 2>look at her, and she's like.

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<v Speaker 1>Get off my territory. The studio is only big enough

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<v Speaker 1>for the one of us.

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<v Speaker 2>People must yeah, very confused.

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<v Speaker 1>She probably thought, is this how they tell me that

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<v Speaker 1>I've been like?

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<v Speaker 2>She didn't. She looked panicked. She was she had the

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<v Speaker 2>look of fear in her eye, and I had to

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<v Speaker 2>kind of say, like, don't worry, I'm not gonna.

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<v Speaker 1>She've been working all night.

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<v Speaker 2>The place looks great. Yeah, bang up, job, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know what I'm doing here. But then it was also

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<v Speaker 2>weird that we're on morning TV in our budgies. But

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<v Speaker 2>also the segment before us they.

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<v Speaker 1>Had I think he was a.

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<v Speaker 2>Foreign corresponding like he was talking about war overseas, very

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<v Speaker 2>serious topic.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, we're talking about the Ukraine? Were they?

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<v Speaker 2>When we correct, like what's going to happen with the war?

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<v Speaker 2>Where we at? And then a weird gear shift to

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<v Speaker 2>then cut to you and me on the couch and

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<v Speaker 2>bathrobes with new BALANCEI.

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<v Speaker 1>What about him as a guest, and then seeing the

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<v Speaker 1>other guest, thinking this is where I'm being in bad

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<v Speaker 1>to these two guys half naked.

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<v Speaker 2>The guy who was I think I recognize him. He's

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<v Speaker 2>a pretty serious journalist.

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<v Speaker 1>I have seen him. Yeah, and we're in the green

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<v Speaker 1>room and you in the green room.

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<v Speaker 2>He must have looked at us and just been like.

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<v Speaker 1>Fuck, what's going on? Yeah, joke's on you, bro. We're

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<v Speaker 1>getting paid the same.

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<v Speaker 2>The calendar.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, Matt has got the proto type oh yeah, and

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<v Speaker 1>then over to you didn't know it was my birthday

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<v Speaker 1>with all his cake? Oh yeah, that is okay, glossy.

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<v Speaker 2>So people, I've had countless people message me as everyone

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<v Speaker 2>is just hitting me up. I can't even leave the

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<v Speaker 2>house without someone harassing me and going when's the calendar

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<v Speaker 2>going to be available?

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<v Speaker 1>So when this comes out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, the calendar will be available for sale. I have

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<v Speaker 2>to say I'm going to preface this and say that

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<v Speaker 2>there's only one hundred. Yes, it's one hundred available to.

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<v Speaker 1>Be that's the ten that I buy for myself.

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<v Speaker 2>Your grandma, NaN's getting one, NaN's getting one. These are

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<v Speaker 2>a collector's item. They are hot property. They will it's

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<v Speaker 2>not a matter of if it's when they sell out.

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<v Speaker 1>If you want to chuck your breakfast stuff every morning,

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<v Speaker 1>get one of these.

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<v Speaker 2>There is an account. It doesn't have a profile picture.

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<v Speaker 2>They have messaged me five times being like me wanting

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<v Speaker 2>to know where the calendar is and we can confirm

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<v Speaker 2>that if you would like to buy a calendar, it

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<v Speaker 2>is on the Budgy smuggler website. Yes, turns out calendars

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<v Speaker 2>are not cheap to make. I fucked up. I got

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<v Speaker 2>a quote for like ten bucks and then and the

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<v Speaker 2>guy was like, oh, do you want to double sided?

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<v Speaker 1>And I was like, who's going to get a one

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<v Speaker 1>sided calendar?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? So double sided? Double the price.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, funny man.

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<v Speaker 2>They are costing us also, so late in the day

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<v Speaker 2>to have this idea to get it ready for Christmas,

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<v Speaker 2>costing us about twenty We're going to lose money. This

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<v Speaker 2>is a terrible business venture.

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<v Speaker 1>We owe it to the people, the mothers, Yes, the

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<v Speaker 1>mothers and the wives who listen to us. We owe

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<v Speaker 1>it to them.

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<v Speaker 2>How much do you want to sell it for? Like

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<v Speaker 2>twenty two hundred dollars?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>We have to work that out, but not March twenty.

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<v Speaker 1>Parents don't have a lot of money.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like in the world of calendars, I've done

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<v Speaker 2>some research, it's a very wide net in terms of pricing.

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<v Speaker 2>Cheaper ones are ten bucks, expensive ones are forty bucks.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know how the pricing works. A friend's calendar

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<v Speaker 2>is ten bucks like Friends, Friends TV shows.

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<v Speaker 1>It should be more because Matt's dead now, Matthew Perry.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean that is a collectors It is a collect design.

0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:03.000
<v Speaker 1>It is from cotton.

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<v Speaker 2>That's we're now competing against the friend's calendar industry, which

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<v Speaker 2>is hot property out everywhere.

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<v Speaker 1>I yesterday saw there was a booth at the shopping

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<v Speaker 1>center near my place. Shout out to worlwid Square. They're

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<v Speaker 1>not sponsoring the oudside. I'm just saying that. And it's

0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:20.880
<v Speaker 1>outside of Woolies. That's where they get. Yeah, and it

0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:23.800
<v Speaker 1>was the fire and calendar, but they've changed it up

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<v Speaker 1>a bit now because obviously not too sexy. It's sexy still,

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<v Speaker 1>but there's other options. There's like a dog option and

0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:32.520
<v Speaker 1>there was another option I didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>So depending on what kind of level of sex that

0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:37.440
<v Speaker 2>you want, you can go like mid level sex with

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<v Speaker 2>a puppy, or you can go full on hornbag, you.

0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.040
<v Speaker 1>Go beast reality.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know how much is that selling for the

0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:45.679
<v Speaker 2>fireman calendar?

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<v Speaker 1>I had one there. It was the favorite house Fires. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I made that up. That would be funny though. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the thing. I sort of cruised pass. You didn't check

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<v Speaker 1>the price I didn't want to get too close case.

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<v Speaker 1>I tried to sell one to me and it was

0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:00.000
<v Speaker 1>a very handsome.

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<v Speaker 2>It was like it was a booth.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a booth.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh ship. So the firemen with their where this is.

0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:09.840
<v Speaker 1>Like imagine if that was your They're like, congratulations, you're

0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:13.920
<v Speaker 1>now a fireman. But get you're too good looking. You

0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:18.439
<v Speaker 1>have to actually stand at Warrwood Shopping Center and sell

0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:19.599
<v Speaker 1>the calendars.

0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:21.079
<v Speaker 2>Of all the real fire there's a house on fire.

0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:24.839
<v Speaker 1>No no, no, not you. He's like trying to blow it

0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:25.679
<v Speaker 1>out with calendar.

0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.240
<v Speaker 2>Well I was going to say, maybe maybe you didn't

0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:33.640
<v Speaker 2>want to have any competition there, because the world of

0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:36.160
<v Speaker 2>calendars very competitive. I know.

0:11:36.200 --> 0:11:37.559
<v Speaker 1>I was going to walk past and like push his

0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:43.960
<v Speaker 1>stall over and like, ll just take off. Good thing.

0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.040
<v Speaker 2>I didn't because the firemen have had they've had like

0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.640
<v Speaker 2>a choke hold on the industry. They have for a

0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:52.439
<v Speaker 2>very long time. As of now, as of getting.

0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:55.640
<v Speaker 1>Ready, sexy firemen, there's a couple of sexy house dads

0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:56.319
<v Speaker 1>come in your way.

0:11:56.400 --> 0:12:01.240
<v Speaker 2>They're panicking house husbands. So I'm thinking twenty nine bucks.

0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:04.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's pretty good. Okay, happy with that whatever, Okay,

0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:06.600
<v Speaker 1>give them away? Aready lost? Money doesn't really matter. Yeah,

0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:08.239
<v Speaker 1>spent the money.

0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:12.520
<v Speaker 2>Twenty nine bucks and we'll sign a couple. The first

0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:13.280
<v Speaker 2>ten will.

0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.400
<v Speaker 1>Sign random maybe in the back, sign on the back.

0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:20.320
<v Speaker 2>Back Yeah, bit so they Yeah, get them quick in

0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:22.880
<v Speaker 2>time for Christmas. That was the whole objective. We wanted

0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:25.160
<v Speaker 2>to try and get these out the door ready to

0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:28.960
<v Speaker 2>make people's Christmas morning just that little bit more specially.

0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:30.160
<v Speaker 1>I can't wait for all the husbands to come at

0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:32.920
<v Speaker 1>us and be like, how do you just look? Christmas

0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:37.199
<v Speaker 1>ruined my Christmas with this thing. Speaking of husbands, Yes,

0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:41.960
<v Speaker 1>I met a doting fan yesterday. Oh at the cafe.

0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.760
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't happen often, not every now and then, not

0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.800
<v Speaker 2>for me, But how did yours unfold?

0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I was having breakfast with Macie Well, she was having

0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:56.040
<v Speaker 1>a marshmallow different and she had two kids, beautiful kids.

0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:58.880
<v Speaker 1>Sorry I just did a terrible to do that again.

0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:03.720
<v Speaker 1>And she was coming out she said, oh, I love

0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:05.520
<v Speaker 1>the podcast, and I was like, oh, thank you. She

0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:06.920
<v Speaker 1>goes I listened to it all the time, and I

0:13:06.920 --> 0:13:08.680
<v Speaker 1>was like, thank you so much. That means well, and

0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.920
<v Speaker 1>it does. And then she said, oh, my husband hates you,

0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:15.480
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, what emotion? Maybe not hate?

0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:16.800
<v Speaker 2>Emotional rollercoaster.

0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:19.920
<v Speaker 1>That's what I heard. I heard my husband hates you,

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:23.800
<v Speaker 1>and for what reason? Because apparently where all she talks

0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.120
<v Speaker 1>about ding ding.

0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:27.760
<v Speaker 2>Ding ding a little bit jealous?

0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Well, jealousy is an ugly color.

0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:33.120
<v Speaker 2>My friend, he is get her a calendar.

0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:35.439
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to find out who she is, and I'm

0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.600
<v Speaker 1>going to give her a calendar delivered. We should deliver

0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:40.480
<v Speaker 1>it to a house I can leave it.

0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:42.120
<v Speaker 2>We're not going to do it on Christmas morning.

0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.800
<v Speaker 1>I'll find out. She must be local to me because

0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.360
<v Speaker 1>it's a cafe we always go where she lives. Yeah,

0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.640
<v Speaker 1>we'll find out. We're going to get her a calendar.

0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.559
<v Speaker 1>Her husband was there, No, no, okay, but she said,

0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.640
<v Speaker 1>I better not tell him that I ran into you.

0:13:56.360 --> 0:14:03.480
<v Speaker 1>Am I having an affair? Yeah, so shout out. I

0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:05.760
<v Speaker 1>didn't get your name. My bad.

0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.679
<v Speaker 2>But if you're listening right now, and if she is

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:10.880
<v Speaker 2>as big of a fan as what she says she is,

0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:12.080
<v Speaker 2>she will be listening.

0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.400
<v Speaker 1>She will hunt me down, so she knows my dress.

0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:17.680
<v Speaker 2>You do live very close to the cafe I do.

0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.680
<v Speaker 2>I've forgot her name. There was a couple of people,

0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:24.000
<v Speaker 2>you know. The Spotify rapped came out the top fan

0:14:24.920 --> 0:14:27.760
<v Speaker 2>was someone there in the top six percent. She came

0:14:27.760 --> 0:14:30.360
<v Speaker 2>out and said, depending on how many hours of like

0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:33.240
<v Speaker 2>listening or how many episodes you listened to for the podcast,

0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:37.040
<v Speaker 2>Spotify tells you, like what percentage of a fan you are,

0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:39.200
<v Speaker 2>so you could be like the top one percent the

0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.240
<v Speaker 2>best that I found. You're confused.

0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:42.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm so confused, but I'm with you.

0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:43.800
<v Speaker 2>So Spotify wrapped.

0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:45.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, I get that.

0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, Spotify. It's a understand that you listen.

0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:50.480
<v Speaker 1>People are literally going, this.

0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 2>Is too much turns off, So show me casey Elizabeth.

0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.280
<v Speaker 2>I just want to say she was in the top

0:14:58.560 --> 0:14:59.440
<v Speaker 2>three percent.

0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:01.240
<v Speaker 1>Well, who are the top two?

0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:03.840
<v Speaker 2>Well I did a shout out to say, who are you?

0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:07.240
<v Speaker 1>How many hours is that? Oh that's a lot.

0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:12.560
<v Speaker 2>That is one thousand, what five hundred and thirty two minutes?

0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:16.160
<v Speaker 1>I feel so sorry for your ear drums cast to

0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:17.760
<v Speaker 1>my voice for that long.

0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:19.960
<v Speaker 2>And she said, what do I get? Get a calendar?

0:15:20.440 --> 0:15:24.720
<v Speaker 1>Bam, it's just like that. Now it was only ninety eight. Yeah,

0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:28.000
<v Speaker 1>actually today show kept one, didn't they. Yeah, so now

0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.320
<v Speaker 1>it's ninety seven that I was going to count.

0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:32.479
<v Speaker 2>The bad they are running out that there's probably.

0:15:32.360 --> 0:15:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Enough of them for us to sign all of them like,

0:15:34.120 --> 0:15:34.720
<v Speaker 1>let's be honest.

0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:36.640
<v Speaker 2>Well, I was going to suggest that, but then I

0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:42.000
<v Speaker 2>know you hate anything, so I was like, we'll cap

0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:43.800
<v Speaker 2>it at ten five.

0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:46.440
<v Speaker 1>Now we'll go ten.

0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:48.800
<v Speaker 2>I do want to hit you up about something? Yes,

0:15:49.360 --> 0:15:54.560
<v Speaker 2>because we're now we're now well into December, right we are? Well, yeah,

0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:59.280
<v Speaker 2>Christmas is I think both. It's I'm going to say

0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:02.040
<v Speaker 2>circle roughly fifteen days away.

0:16:02.600 --> 0:16:03.560
<v Speaker 1>What does circle mean?

0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:06.200
<v Speaker 2>Like, I'm going to say circle means like approximately.

0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:09.640
<v Speaker 1>That's just when people say circle two thousands, like a

0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.400
<v Speaker 1>round about two thousand.

0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:13.560
<v Speaker 2>Of the line. Please call it. I'm just going to

0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.680
<v Speaker 2>google this. You ask a question, maybe I'll give you.

0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:17.520
<v Speaker 2>Don't ask.

0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:20.560
<v Speaker 1>Don't ask a question, excuse to pick your phone up.

0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:22.760
<v Speaker 2>That you don't want to find out the answer to

0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:28.560
<v Speaker 2>killing me? So means approximately, Oh.

0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:28.800
<v Speaker 1>There you go?

0:16:29.000 --> 0:16:29.360
<v Speaker 2>So you go?

0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 1>You're right? Or is that mate? Yippie always always am.

0:16:36.040 --> 0:16:39.560
<v Speaker 2>So Christmas is very very close around the corner. Obviously,

0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:43.920
<v Speaker 2>it's a very exciting time for who everyone involved, kids, parents,

0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:45.920
<v Speaker 2>It's a great time. It's one of the I would

0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 2>say arguably the best time of the entire year where

0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:53.040
<v Speaker 2>you're going except for one person, and that person is

0:16:53.040 --> 0:17:00.200
<v Speaker 2>ash Wicks. You hate Christmas. I sure should not. You

0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:01.280
<v Speaker 2>would have been a Christmas wrench.

0:17:01.640 --> 0:17:07.200
<v Speaker 1>I probably used hate. I don't hate it. So let's sorry.

0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:10.200
<v Speaker 1>Chairs are so fucking I hate this chair.

0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:14.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, sorry, I bought new chairs specifically for.

0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.679
<v Speaker 1>You because it's like some they're a bit harsh tops.

0:17:17.720 --> 0:17:19.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're like a rope.

0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:21.399
<v Speaker 1>I told you that I had like a massive pimple

0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:24.520
<v Speaker 1>in the back of my boil, scratched the ship out

0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:24.800
<v Speaker 1>of it.

0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:26.280
<v Speaker 2>It's not a hemorrhoid, it's a boil.

0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.800
<v Speaker 1>It's yes, it's hard to keep your neck on my

0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:30.520
<v Speaker 1>leg afterward.

0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:35.040
<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, you hate Christmas. But does it come from the

0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:38.359
<v Speaker 2>fact that you revealed to me as a child you

0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:39.480
<v Speaker 2>never had a Christmas tree?

0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? So when I was a kid, it's not that

0:17:41.600 --> 0:17:44.280
<v Speaker 1>we never had a Christmas tree. We just didn't have

0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:50.040
<v Speaker 1>a Christian tree in our house. As that was coming

0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:52.800
<v Speaker 1>out of the mouth. That was dumb. So at my

0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:56.000
<v Speaker 1>place of residence, in the home that I lived in,

0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:03.359
<v Speaker 1>not an orphan, sorry, Martin. No, mine nan had the

0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:08.760
<v Speaker 1>Christmas tree. The more I talk, the worse of this sound.

0:18:09.160 --> 0:18:12.280
<v Speaker 1>So my grandmother had the Christmas tree at her house

0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.119
<v Speaker 1>because we would always go there for Christmas in the afternoon,

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:21.000
<v Speaker 1>and then at home. We didn't have one ever, no, never, never,

0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:24.040
<v Speaker 1>not until we were like, oh, we moved to the

0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:27.400
<v Speaker 1>Gold Coast and Nan still lived in Sydney. She still

0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:29.960
<v Speaker 1>kept putting her Christmas tree up even though no one came.

0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:34.840
<v Speaker 1>She came.

0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:37.560
<v Speaker 2>People were just hoping, people still came, praying.

0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.800
<v Speaker 1>They'll come back. And then that's when we all of

0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:42.840
<v Speaker 1>a sudden we had to have and like we were older,

0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:44.919
<v Speaker 1>and it was more like we were getting presents for

0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:47.760
<v Speaker 1>each other more than you know, Mum and dad. It

0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:52.159
<v Speaker 1>wasn't that Mom and Dad didn't believe, like didn't like.

0:18:52.640 --> 0:19:03.000
<v Speaker 2>Well sun to cry. Okay, question the people.

0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:04.560
<v Speaker 1>Who listen to this podcast must think this is the

0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:06.320
<v Speaker 1>most complicated human being in the world.

0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:09.800
<v Speaker 2>Now, you know, Why was there ever a point when

0:19:09.840 --> 0:19:11.840
<v Speaker 2>you were younger where you would go to someone else's

0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:14.880
<v Speaker 2>house and you would see their Christmas tree. You would

0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:17.680
<v Speaker 2>then come back to your own home and go Hang

0:19:17.720 --> 0:19:18.680
<v Speaker 2>on a second.

0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:22.080
<v Speaker 1>I was never lied to about Christmas. If you've got

0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:24.080
<v Speaker 1>kids in the car and they're listening to this, yeah,

0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:28.400
<v Speaker 1>just a warning. I was never lied to about Christmas.

0:19:28.720 --> 0:19:30.640
<v Speaker 1>So is in the sand who.

0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:34.639
<v Speaker 2>Gives the gifts? Which we all know wink wink is Santa.

0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:37.159
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what really gave away is my nan dressing up

0:19:37.200 --> 0:19:38.879
<v Speaker 1>as Santa.

0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:41.440
<v Speaker 2>Look.

0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:45.439
<v Speaker 1>I also liked that about my childhood that I was

0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:47.800
<v Speaker 1>never fucking fluffed about with that shit.

0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:52.480
<v Speaker 2>I remember being in grade one approaching my mum in

0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:54.600
<v Speaker 2>the corner of the house and being like, just tell me,

0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:59.000
<v Speaker 2>how does he do it? It's impossible. There's so many

0:19:59.040 --> 0:19:59.720
<v Speaker 2>houses and.

0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Working on your sucking center off.

0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:06.400
<v Speaker 2>Right, So your parents were just straight up.

0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:08.280
<v Speaker 1>They were pretty straight up with me. Yeah, but the

0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:10.800
<v Speaker 1>neighbors kids and stuff weren't. They was still in fairyland,

0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:12.800
<v Speaker 1>so they were telling me not to tell them.

0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:14.920
<v Speaker 2>You the person then that went around to all the

0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:17.159
<v Speaker 2>kids and being like, sorry, timmy hate to break it

0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 2>to you. It doesn't fucking exist.

0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:21.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's me, that was you.

0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:22.840
<v Speaker 2>No, I was just crushing dreams.

0:20:22.920 --> 0:20:23.840
<v Speaker 1>I was respectful.

0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:25.119
<v Speaker 2>I don't think you were.

0:20:25.200 --> 0:20:28.119
<v Speaker 1>I don't even believe that. But yeah, it just it

0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:33.199
<v Speaker 1>just wasn't something that. Also, we were pretty poor in that. No,

0:20:33.480 --> 0:20:35.960
<v Speaker 1>we still celebrated Christmas. It wasn't like and I did

0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:37.560
<v Speaker 1>enjoy Christmas as a kid because I get to go

0:20:37.600 --> 0:20:39.280
<v Speaker 1>to my nan and be with my nan and stuff.

0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:43.439
<v Speaker 1>Like that, but it like wasn't something we celebrated at.

0:20:43.280 --> 0:20:46.000
<v Speaker 2>Home Christmas carols. Are you into that or not?

0:20:46.080 --> 0:20:49.159
<v Speaker 1>Really? It used to work in retail when I was

0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:52.359
<v Speaker 1>like in my teenage years. That is painful, so painful.

0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:54.800
<v Speaker 1>That another reason I also think like Christmas is like,

0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:59.600
<v Speaker 1>now I've got kids, I humor it. My wife loves it.

0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:02.920
<v Speaker 1>She Christmas. That's great. I'm not going to sit here

0:21:02.920 --> 0:21:06.440
<v Speaker 1>and completely pooh pooh on it. But I'm like, if

0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:08.560
<v Speaker 1>it didn't exist, I wouldn't bother me.

0:21:08.720 --> 0:21:11.560
<v Speaker 2>It's a lot different. Have you ever had a Christmas

0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:13.280
<v Speaker 2>overseas where it's cold?

0:21:13.840 --> 0:21:16.399
<v Speaker 1>No, the Christmas in Bali once was the best. Did

0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:17.200
<v Speaker 1>you have to see anything?

0:21:18.720 --> 0:21:21.720
<v Speaker 2>But if you have a Christmas like being in London,

0:21:22.240 --> 0:21:25.400
<v Speaker 2>it is so depressing. The weather is so bad and

0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:28.920
<v Speaker 2>miserable that the only thing that is just giving people

0:21:29.000 --> 0:21:32.800
<v Speaker 2>any glimmer of hope, like any like just minute amount

0:21:32.800 --> 0:21:37.359
<v Speaker 2>of happiness alcohol is that and Christmas. And so I

0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:40.480
<v Speaker 2>think you have a different appreciation, yeah, for Christmas when

0:21:40.480 --> 0:21:44.440
<v Speaker 2>you see that, Like, if it wasn't for Christmas, people

0:21:44.480 --> 0:21:46.240
<v Speaker 2>would be in a lot worse place than what they

0:21:46.280 --> 0:21:47.080
<v Speaker 2>are right now here.

0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:50.440
<v Speaker 1>It's just it's just busy, dude, it is busy. Look

0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:56.480
<v Speaker 1>like I said, hates a strong word. I despise it. No,

0:21:56.640 --> 0:21:59.359
<v Speaker 1>it's just I just humor it for my kids.

0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:02.320
<v Speaker 2>Now, whose idea was a Christmas tree at your place.

0:22:02.600 --> 0:22:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Where I live now?

0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:03.920
<v Speaker 2>Correct?

0:22:04.760 --> 0:22:08.720
<v Speaker 1>I think it was just know Aprils. I guess if

0:22:08.720 --> 0:22:11.000
<v Speaker 1>April was like I couldn't care less, we wouldn't have one.

0:22:11.560 --> 0:22:14.000
<v Speaker 1>She's what yeah, And then when she's like, I'm going

0:22:14.000 --> 0:22:18.080
<v Speaker 1>to set it up, I'm like, like was saying, I've

0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:20.280
<v Speaker 1>got a humor because I have kids. That's it.

0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:22.120
<v Speaker 2>I set Christmas tree up.

0:22:22.240 --> 0:22:24.600
<v Speaker 1>No, actually, I set your Christmas tree up.

0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:26.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, we did it as part of the shoot for

0:22:26.840 --> 0:22:28.080
<v Speaker 2>the calendar, not to keep plugging it.

0:22:28.119 --> 0:22:31.240
<v Speaker 1>How many times I washed my hand and Laura.

0:22:31.080 --> 0:22:33.600
<v Speaker 2>Was like, you have to take it down, not the tree,

0:22:33.680 --> 0:22:36.760
<v Speaker 2>the decorations, because I want the kids to put it on.

0:22:37.359 --> 0:22:38.520
<v Speaker 1>And we had that memory.

0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:42.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that would tarnish what I've just created with amen.

0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:44.399
<v Speaker 1>As soon as I say, Marley and Laura, do you

0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:45.199
<v Speaker 1>know what I set it up?

0:22:46.280 --> 0:22:48.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, Laula did a crap job. It's a nightmare trying

0:22:48.600 --> 0:22:50.000
<v Speaker 2>to get a four year old and a two year

0:22:50.040 --> 0:22:51.639
<v Speaker 2>old to put on decorations in a tree.

0:22:52.160 --> 0:22:55.600
<v Speaker 1>April whipped out our tree on a Sunday afternoon after

0:22:55.640 --> 0:22:59.119
<v Speaker 1>we'd been like to a thirtieth the night before. I

0:22:59.160 --> 0:23:01.280
<v Speaker 1>was like why, and she was like, no, I want

0:23:01.320 --> 0:23:02.840
<v Speaker 1>the kids to do it with me. I'm like, do

0:23:02.880 --> 0:23:05.120
<v Speaker 1>it when they're not here, it's so much easier.

0:23:04.840 --> 0:23:07.320
<v Speaker 2>Or get them to do like the final decoration.

0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:09.560
<v Speaker 1>Or something like that. And I had a tally of

0:23:09.600 --> 0:23:11.800
<v Speaker 1>how many times April lost his shit and how many

0:23:11.840 --> 0:23:14.080
<v Speaker 1>times the kids lost their shit. So April lost his

0:23:14.160 --> 0:23:19.840
<v Speaker 1>shit three times kids and the kids two meltdowns between them. Yeah,

0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:22.520
<v Speaker 1>it's not bad. Odds they kept stepping on sharp things

0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:26.760
<v Speaker 1>and like ah and then that's right. Oscar went outside

0:23:26.800 --> 0:23:28.600
<v Speaker 1>to get something for the tree and makes he just

0:23:28.640 --> 0:23:30.000
<v Speaker 1>like shut the door on him.

0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:33.960
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if this Christmas tree is a splurge and.

0:23:34.000 --> 0:23:35.560
<v Speaker 1>Got the one with the built in We're getting that

0:23:35.600 --> 0:23:36.040
<v Speaker 1>next time.

0:23:36.160 --> 0:23:38.640
<v Speaker 2>Fairy lights, but it freaks me out. And I'm sure

0:23:38.640 --> 0:23:40.919
<v Speaker 2>they're a lot better now, but I'm like, if that

0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:43.560
<v Speaker 2>I loves to keep them on, She like doesn't want

0:23:43.560 --> 0:23:45.879
<v Speaker 2>to turn them off at night time, and I'm like,

0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:48.520
<v Speaker 2>that's going to burn the house down. That thirty dollars

0:23:48.560 --> 0:23:49.720
<v Speaker 2>Christmas tree from Kmart.

0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:52.520
<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't trust it. We turn hours off. Masy comes

0:23:52.560 --> 0:23:54.239
<v Speaker 1>down the stays first thing the morning she turns back on.

0:23:56.000 --> 0:23:58.520
<v Speaker 2>It's probably not the right time to tell you Ash

0:23:58.520 --> 0:24:01.080
<v Speaker 2>as well that if you are on the Gold Coast

0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:03.760
<v Speaker 2>and you do want to get into the festive spirit

0:24:04.480 --> 0:24:08.520
<v Speaker 2>with Carrols on the beach, oh yes, on December seventeenth.

0:24:08.520 --> 0:24:10.280
<v Speaker 2>It's a Sunday, it's free.

0:24:10.480 --> 0:24:12.320
<v Speaker 1>You're not good enough to host the Sydney Ones? Is

0:24:12.320 --> 0:24:13.040
<v Speaker 1>that what the deal is?

0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:17.600
<v Speaker 2>The Sydney Ones. The Sydney Ones aren't is good?

0:24:17.680 --> 0:24:19.879
<v Speaker 1>The Domain ones? You tell me I've been to.

0:24:19.920 --> 0:24:20.359
<v Speaker 2>It's crap.

0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:21.720
<v Speaker 1>It's a night minute go there isn't it.

0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:24.240
<v Speaker 2>It's a nightmare. Where's this? One's on the beach surface,

0:24:24.240 --> 0:24:26.760
<v Speaker 2>Paradise Beach, So you've got to swim in you got Yeah,

0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:29.600
<v Speaker 2>you can be catching as you're singing like rid Off

0:24:29.600 --> 0:24:33.359
<v Speaker 2>the Red Nose Reindeer or whatever song that is. Yeah, okay,

0:24:34.359 --> 0:24:36.360
<v Speaker 2>when is it December seventeenth?

0:24:36.440 --> 0:24:36.640
<v Speaker 1>Yes?

0:24:36.960 --> 0:24:40.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to

0:24:40.400 --> 0:24:43.159
<v Speaker 2>force this upon you because I know what kind of

0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:44.000
<v Speaker 2>childhood you had.

0:24:46.000 --> 0:24:49.959
<v Speaker 1>Carry on like, it's really traumatic. She'd have seen her

0:24:49.960 --> 0:24:51.520
<v Speaker 1>around Halloween Jesus.

0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:54.600
<v Speaker 2>Just an idea, mate, let it marinate.

0:24:54.680 --> 0:24:56.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to go, okay, but you're going to go.

0:24:57.119 --> 0:24:58.960
<v Speaker 1>You're going to host it. I'll be there with your

0:24:59.160 --> 0:25:01.639
<v Speaker 1>beautiful long legged wife.

0:25:03.840 --> 0:25:06.040
<v Speaker 2>So if you want to bring the kids along.

0:25:06.240 --> 0:25:10.080
<v Speaker 1>No, okay, I'll get the rundown. We are actually on Saturday.

0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:12.159
<v Speaker 1>We're recording this now in the lead up to that

0:25:12.240 --> 0:25:14.520
<v Speaker 1>day where everyone's like, it's going to be like forty

0:25:14.520 --> 0:25:16.240
<v Speaker 1>two degrees, five hundred degrees.

0:25:16.359 --> 0:25:17.000
<v Speaker 2>Where are you going to be?

0:25:17.760 --> 0:25:20.600
<v Speaker 1>Apparently that afternoon we're doing going an avalon for some

0:25:20.680 --> 0:25:23.520
<v Speaker 1>Christmas carols. What against my will?

0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:25.800
<v Speaker 2>That's gonna it's forty degree?

0:25:25.880 --> 0:25:27.919
<v Speaker 1>I know, dude, you're telling me I've got to go

0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:30.520
<v Speaker 1>to something I hate in the hottest day of the year.

0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:31.639
<v Speaker 2>What about Mazie?

0:25:33.000 --> 0:25:33.560
<v Speaker 1>What about it?

0:25:33.680 --> 0:25:34.000
<v Speaker 2>She said?

0:25:34.000 --> 0:25:34.719
<v Speaker 1>What about me?

0:25:35.920 --> 0:25:36.680
<v Speaker 2>What about you?

0:25:37.240 --> 0:25:40.280
<v Speaker 1>Really white that I'm concerned for that day?

0:25:40.400 --> 0:25:42.760
<v Speaker 2>I've turned the kitchen light on and I've looked over

0:25:42.840 --> 0:25:44.600
<v Speaker 2>and she's like, sizzling.

0:25:44.320 --> 0:25:49.199
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, if you turn the light off. She closed, speaking

0:25:49.200 --> 0:25:53.440
<v Speaker 1>about Macy really quickly. Just on Macy, my perfect little

0:25:53.480 --> 0:25:59.879
<v Speaker 1>girl has turned. She's turned on me. The terrible Two's right,

0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:03.119
<v Speaker 1>you've got a two year old Osco wasn't bad in

0:26:03.160 --> 0:26:06.440
<v Speaker 1>the two to three in Major sort of like he

0:26:06.600 --> 0:26:11.919
<v Speaker 1>was just cheeky, cheeky talk back but not evil. Macy

0:26:12.440 --> 0:26:13.479
<v Speaker 1>flat out evil.

0:26:13.520 --> 0:26:14.320
<v Speaker 2>Why what has she done?

0:26:14.440 --> 0:26:18.040
<v Speaker 1>The silent assassin? What hasn't she done? All of a

0:26:18.080 --> 0:26:22.359
<v Speaker 1>sudden last week she starts hitting, hitting who whoever is

0:26:22.400 --> 0:26:24.560
<v Speaker 1>in her way, anyone anything.

0:26:24.680 --> 0:26:27.800
<v Speaker 2>She is so sweet. I've never heard a peep from

0:26:27.800 --> 0:26:28.920
<v Speaker 2>her hitting.

0:26:29.280 --> 0:26:30.960
<v Speaker 1>She bit April yesterday.

0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:33.920
<v Speaker 2>Bit April. Yeah, well give me the give me the

0:26:33.960 --> 0:26:34.960
<v Speaker 2>context of the bite.

0:26:35.240 --> 0:26:37.960
<v Speaker 1>So she was trying to get to April while she

0:26:38.000 --> 0:26:40.600
<v Speaker 1>was sitting like this. Yeah, she was like on her legs,

0:26:40.600 --> 0:26:42.840
<v Speaker 1>but April was trying to do something else, and because

0:26:42.960 --> 0:26:45.160
<v Speaker 1>she wasn't picking her up, bit her on the leg.

0:26:45.640 --> 0:26:47.800
<v Speaker 2>How do you combat that the back?

0:26:47.880 --> 0:26:51.160
<v Speaker 1>No, that's actually I've heard that. I've heard that. Tried

0:26:51.160 --> 0:26:52.800
<v Speaker 1>to explain that to me, but I was like, don't

0:26:52.840 --> 0:26:55.080
<v Speaker 1>you fucking bite a child right in front of me.

0:26:55.359 --> 0:26:58.600
<v Speaker 1>I think she was like pretending like he's gonna think

0:26:58.600 --> 0:27:00.240
<v Speaker 1>it's a game, like.

0:27:00.240 --> 0:27:02.040
<v Speaker 2>The other week when I farted on Marley. When she

0:27:02.040 --> 0:27:04.399
<v Speaker 2>fighted on me, Hey, I have not been fighted on

0:27:04.520 --> 0:27:05.200
<v Speaker 2>since yet.

0:27:05.400 --> 0:27:07.680
<v Speaker 1>Not probably when you're fast asleep because you never wake

0:27:07.760 --> 0:27:10.680
<v Speaker 1>up for anything. We squatted over your mouth and gone,

0:27:11.880 --> 0:27:16.800
<v Speaker 1>come on, come on cop that dad. Hitting anybody anything

0:27:17.160 --> 0:27:20.800
<v Speaker 1>in their way. Oscar especially is her favorite hit biting.

0:27:21.000 --> 0:27:24.440
<v Speaker 1>I've caught her trying to bite Oscar. She also does

0:27:24.480 --> 0:27:29.199
<v Speaker 1>this thing where she will not take no France will not.

0:27:29.880 --> 0:27:32.720
<v Speaker 1>So she was like strumming my guitar in the bedroom.

0:27:33.000 --> 0:27:35.880
<v Speaker 1>I was like, don't touch it, trying to be gentle,

0:27:36.119 --> 0:27:39.439
<v Speaker 1>like don't just like, don't move her away, you know,

0:27:39.560 --> 0:27:42.040
<v Speaker 1>tap her on the hands like no, no, no, turn around.

0:27:42.320 --> 0:27:43.160
<v Speaker 2>You beat your child?

0:27:46.280 --> 0:27:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Cut that. Yeah, then like didn't listen, wouldn't listen, kept

0:27:51.680 --> 0:27:54.680
<v Speaker 1>turning around, shaking her head, tell her to get out

0:27:54.680 --> 0:27:57.520
<v Speaker 1>of the kitchen. She's just shaking her head, smiling and

0:27:57.560 --> 0:27:58.320
<v Speaker 1>shaking her head.

0:27:58.440 --> 0:27:58.800
<v Speaker 2>Evil.

0:27:58.880 --> 0:28:02.000
<v Speaker 1>And then the other day this is the worst. So

0:28:02.960 --> 0:28:06.040
<v Speaker 1>first of all, she was me, her and Oscar were

0:28:06.080 --> 0:28:10.960
<v Speaker 1>all in bed and like she was kicking him and

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:14.040
<v Speaker 1>he's like stop and I'm like, stop kicking. So she

0:28:14.440 --> 0:28:20.160
<v Speaker 1>leans over, grabs his hair like this right, doesn't move

0:28:20.680 --> 0:28:25.159
<v Speaker 1>for those at home, hands still got a fistful of

0:28:25.200 --> 0:28:30.560
<v Speaker 1>his fucking hair. Fistful, and I go, don't. She smiles

0:28:30.640 --> 0:28:34.600
<v Speaker 1>back at me. Yanks it right, down to the like

0:28:34.680 --> 0:28:38.760
<v Speaker 1>the mattress on the bed, and he just screams, and

0:28:38.840 --> 0:28:43.280
<v Speaker 1>she's like lockjaw like a staffy. I cannot get the

0:28:43.360 --> 0:28:46.560
<v Speaker 1>hair out of her hand. And she's smiling back at

0:28:46.640 --> 0:28:52.120
<v Speaker 1>me like I've heard of like when dogs get lockjoy

0:28:52.200 --> 0:28:58.520
<v Speaker 1>got to shove hose up their ass. I didn't know

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:03.400
<v Speaker 1>what to do. Eventually, after my voice has gone to ten, Yeah,

0:29:03.440 --> 0:29:06.480
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, where has my perfect little child gone?

0:29:06.640 --> 0:29:09.200
<v Speaker 2>She's just got to you just gotta write it out.

0:29:09.240 --> 0:29:09.840
<v Speaker 2>What are you gonna do?

0:29:10.360 --> 0:29:14.760
<v Speaker 1>Actually gonna sell her on Facebook? Marketplane? How much cheap?

0:29:14.960 --> 0:29:16.440
<v Speaker 1>Take her? Get her out of the house.

0:29:16.920 --> 0:29:17.720
<v Speaker 2>She's a picture.

0:29:17.800 --> 0:29:20.080
<v Speaker 1>She's so sweet. She'll come up and give your kids

0:29:20.080 --> 0:29:22.000
<v Speaker 1>on the cheek afterwards, and you're like.

0:29:22.080 --> 0:29:25.040
<v Speaker 2>It's weird that she's abusing your son with a smile

0:29:25.080 --> 0:29:25.680
<v Speaker 2>on her face.

0:29:26.240 --> 0:29:30.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's psychotic. She's fucking evil.

0:29:29.920 --> 0:29:32.360
<v Speaker 2>Because Marley, when she has a tantrum, she she does

0:29:32.400 --> 0:29:35.400
<v Speaker 2>it in full tantrum mode. Like it's weird, isn't it

0:29:35.440 --> 0:29:38.200
<v Speaker 2>how one goes one way and the other goes opposite.

0:29:39.120 --> 0:29:41.600
<v Speaker 2>We don't really have the evil side of Lola. She's

0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:45.040
<v Speaker 2>just like a big old like Marshmallow who's funny and cheeky.

0:29:46.000 --> 0:29:49.320
<v Speaker 2>Where is Marley? Like even now? Like last night did

0:29:49.320 --> 0:29:52.480
<v Speaker 2>were at the RSL having a beautiful dinner. Everyone's having

0:29:52.520 --> 0:29:55.560
<v Speaker 2>a great time. Laura's sister's there, her family chicken pump

0:29:55.880 --> 0:30:03.360
<v Speaker 2>and I had the steak Ritzy and Marley was flipping out,

0:30:03.560 --> 0:30:07.880
<v Speaker 2>like I'm talking chairs across the room. I took her

0:30:07.920 --> 0:30:10.320
<v Speaker 2>shoes off, loved her shoes across the room as well.

0:30:10.840 --> 0:30:13.320
<v Speaker 2>Wrong with them because she couldn't play the Pokey's.

0:30:16.000 --> 0:30:17.440
<v Speaker 1>She's like the Bricki's laptop.

0:30:17.880 --> 0:30:20.520
<v Speaker 2>She's like, I want to play the games. And I

0:30:20.600 --> 0:30:22.120
<v Speaker 2>was like, there are adult games and.

0:30:22.080 --> 0:30:26.160
<v Speaker 1>She's like, what they call it New Zealand Nana's laptop

0:30:26.200 --> 0:30:30.640
<v Speaker 1>or something, Nana's piano. I don't know, something like that.

0:30:30.720 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 1>But what's wrong with them?

0:30:32.560 --> 0:30:34.760
<v Speaker 2>It's just, you know, you put it perfectly, And a

0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:36.720
<v Speaker 2>lot of people were like, I agree. When you're like,

0:30:36.720 --> 0:30:38.280
<v Speaker 2>they're just drunk.

0:30:38.160 --> 0:30:40.800
<v Speaker 1>It's like owning a drunk person. Yeah, they seriously don't

0:30:40.800 --> 0:30:44.960
<v Speaker 1>make any sense. They blabber, they can barely walk straight,

0:30:45.440 --> 0:30:46.960
<v Speaker 1>and then they keep at the end of it, they'll

0:30:47.000 --> 0:30:51.880
<v Speaker 1>be like, oh so much, man, it's the worst. Another

0:30:51.920 --> 0:30:54.760
<v Speaker 1>thing makes he's doing is going to sleep and then

0:30:54.800 --> 0:30:57.800
<v Speaker 1>shitting herself. That is the worst.

0:30:58.040 --> 0:30:59.240
<v Speaker 2>It is so annoying.

0:30:59.480 --> 0:31:03.200
<v Speaker 1>It's like performing minor surgery to like s don't wake

0:31:03.240 --> 0:31:04.760
<v Speaker 1>her up? Do you wait down there.

0:31:04.600 --> 0:31:08.440
<v Speaker 2>With a torch in my mouth, slowly trying to likewly trying.

0:31:08.240 --> 0:31:13.200
<v Speaker 1>To surgically remove a fucking nugget from her and then

0:31:13.320 --> 0:31:15.760
<v Speaker 1>wrapping her back up without awaken up.

0:31:15.840 --> 0:31:20.000
<v Speaker 2>It's painful. I'm sorry going through this. I want to

0:31:20.000 --> 0:31:23.960
<v Speaker 2>say it gets better, but it doesn't. Talking about random

0:31:24.000 --> 0:31:26.600
<v Speaker 2>behavior that laid on me that we're trying to figure out.

0:31:26.680 --> 0:31:30.080
<v Speaker 2>Last week we spoke about your friend who had a

0:31:30.200 --> 0:31:33.760
<v Speaker 2>child that, yes, bang their head against the mattress whenever

0:31:33.800 --> 0:31:35.880
<v Speaker 2>they went to bed, the head banger. They went to

0:31:35.920 --> 0:31:38.160
<v Speaker 2>the doctor. Doctor said that it's fine, they'll grow out

0:31:38.200 --> 0:31:38.400
<v Speaker 2>of there.

0:31:38.760 --> 0:31:39.680
<v Speaker 1>Several doctors.

0:31:39.880 --> 0:31:43.760
<v Speaker 2>We've had a lot of messages come through. Firstly, a

0:31:43.800 --> 0:31:47.440
<v Speaker 2>lot of people who grew up as headbangers and now

0:31:47.520 --> 0:31:51.080
<v Speaker 2>they're adults. They say they're totally fine. Hard to read

0:31:51.080 --> 0:31:51.600
<v Speaker 2>the message.

0:31:53.280 --> 0:31:56.880
<v Speaker 1>Mistakes, that's what they say.

0:31:56.920 --> 0:31:59.360
<v Speaker 2>They said that they did it just as a way

0:31:59.400 --> 0:32:01.960
<v Speaker 2>of comor fitting themselves. But I've got a few others.

0:32:01.960 --> 0:32:05.000
<v Speaker 2>There's one here from Emma. She says she loves the pod.

0:32:05.160 --> 0:32:05.400
<v Speaker 1>Thanks.

0:32:05.440 --> 0:32:08.440
<v Speaker 2>She's a final year medical student. But she says, but

0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:10.560
<v Speaker 2>obviously this is not advice, because we never give advice.

0:32:11.040 --> 0:32:13.960
<v Speaker 2>She says it's quite common in young kids as a

0:32:14.000 --> 0:32:17.320
<v Speaker 2>way to self soothed. So she said, her dad, you

0:32:17.320 --> 0:32:19.280
<v Speaker 2>said it as a kid. But she also says it's

0:32:19.320 --> 0:32:21.800
<v Speaker 2>a type of stimming, like a repetitive motion that is

0:32:21.840 --> 0:32:28.200
<v Speaker 2>particularly common with autistic children. And apparently ash twenty percent

0:32:28.200 --> 0:32:28.880
<v Speaker 2>of kids do this.

0:32:29.920 --> 0:32:32.560
<v Speaker 1>Twenty percent of kids bang their head against the mattress

0:32:32.600 --> 0:32:32.880
<v Speaker 1>like that.

0:32:33.040 --> 0:32:36.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yep, So nothing to be overly concerned about. In

0:32:36.840 --> 0:32:38.200
<v Speaker 2>case there are people listening that.

0:32:38.240 --> 0:32:41.240
<v Speaker 1>Look, the couple that are my friends that gave me this,

0:32:41.880 --> 0:32:44.520
<v Speaker 1>they're not overly concerned. They've been to doctors. They're like, look,

0:32:44.520 --> 0:32:46.400
<v Speaker 1>she's fine, she'll grow out of it. And apparently she

0:32:46.520 --> 0:32:50.040
<v Speaker 1>was doing it at Kinney too, and then she stopped

0:32:50.040 --> 0:32:52.640
<v Speaker 1>doing it at Kindy right, and then after a few

0:32:52.680 --> 0:32:57.240
<v Speaker 1>weeks went back to doing it. Interesting, very interesting.

0:32:57.280 --> 0:33:00.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, well, this case is not closed. No, we

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:00.840
<v Speaker 2>will keep this open.

0:33:00.840 --> 0:33:01.680
<v Speaker 1>We'll keep this open.

0:33:02.240 --> 0:33:04.760
<v Speaker 2>Be warned. I guess I don't want to encourage other

0:33:04.800 --> 0:33:07.680
<v Speaker 2>people to give us any type of question that requires

0:33:07.760 --> 0:33:08.600
<v Speaker 2>medical advice.

0:33:08.680 --> 0:33:11.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, this was like, oh, why not first just see.

0:33:12.080 --> 0:33:13.880
<v Speaker 2>Because it came from a friend of yours.

0:33:13.880 --> 0:33:16.760
<v Speaker 1>Act, don't send me pictures of your kids or videos

0:33:16.800 --> 0:33:19.720
<v Speaker 1>of your kids doing something like actually, why do they

0:33:19.800 --> 0:33:27.280
<v Speaker 1>do this? Because it'll be ignored, deleted unless it's really funny. Matt,

0:33:27.640 --> 0:33:30.440
<v Speaker 1>it is time for the last time.

0:33:31.840 --> 0:33:34.440
<v Speaker 2>This year makes me upset when we say that, yes,

0:33:35.040 --> 0:33:38.040
<v Speaker 2>a little bit emotional for ordinary pairent.

0:33:39.880 --> 0:33:45.400
<v Speaker 1>We desid in their repair, ordinary repair. We don't know

0:33:45.760 --> 0:33:49.720
<v Speaker 1>what we do. We don't know what we're doing because

0:33:49.760 --> 0:33:59.200
<v Speaker 1>we're repair man. There's a segment where people send in

0:33:59.240 --> 0:34:01.480
<v Speaker 1>their ordinary pair stories. We've been doing this for the

0:34:01.520 --> 0:34:04.000
<v Speaker 1>back end of the year. This is the last one.

0:34:04.280 --> 0:34:07.000
<v Speaker 1>This is the last two hundred dollars worth of budget

0:34:07.000 --> 0:34:10.279
<v Speaker 1>smoking gear we are going to give out. But at

0:34:10.280 --> 0:34:13.799
<v Speaker 1>the end of this segment there is something else that

0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:17.160
<v Speaker 1>we are willing to offer. Correct, So let's just get

0:34:17.200 --> 0:34:22.600
<v Speaker 1>to it. Let me read you my one please, and

0:34:22.640 --> 0:34:25.479
<v Speaker 1>then you can give me what you've got ash.

0:34:25.600 --> 0:34:26.760
<v Speaker 2>That sounds like a great plan.

0:34:26.880 --> 0:34:34.200
<v Speaker 1>That was the wellly constructed sentence that a man is Okay.

0:34:34.239 --> 0:34:36.960
<v Speaker 1>This one comes from Nadia and it says, I make

0:34:37.040 --> 0:34:40.600
<v Speaker 1>my son what I want for breakfast. I e yoga

0:34:40.640 --> 0:34:44.520
<v Speaker 1>granola bowl sounds good. Then she gives it straight to

0:34:44.719 --> 0:34:48.440
<v Speaker 1>him her child, which is what she wants, which is

0:34:48.440 --> 0:34:51.640
<v Speaker 1>what she wants. Correct, And then she makes my breakfast

0:34:51.920 --> 0:34:56.800
<v Speaker 1>aka wheat bigs, which of of course is their child's breakfast,

0:34:57.360 --> 0:35:00.120
<v Speaker 1>and then starts to eat that, and within seconds he

0:35:00.200 --> 0:35:02.919
<v Speaker 1>tries to switch it because he always wants to eat

0:35:02.920 --> 0:35:06.359
<v Speaker 1>what I mean. Yes, So they did say, look, this

0:35:06.440 --> 0:35:08.200
<v Speaker 1>is more of an ordinary parenting hack.

0:35:08.360 --> 0:35:09.080
<v Speaker 2>It's brilliant.

0:35:09.360 --> 0:35:10.360
<v Speaker 1>That's great. It's a good idea.

0:35:11.160 --> 0:35:14.040
<v Speaker 2>Every time whenever I make for Lola, doesn't matter what

0:35:14.200 --> 0:35:17.480
<v Speaker 2>I've got, she could have neutral gain, which he loves.

0:35:17.880 --> 0:35:19.879
<v Speaker 2>As soon as I have anything in a bowl, She's like,

0:35:20.280 --> 0:35:21.480
<v Speaker 2>give me that right now.

0:35:21.520 --> 0:35:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, give it to me right now. I find that.

0:35:23.880 --> 0:35:26.120
<v Speaker 1>And I had this conversation with my mate yesterday. He

0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:27.640
<v Speaker 1>was like, I go, what are you up to you guys?

0:35:27.640 --> 0:35:29.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm just watching my kids eat younner. He goes, I

0:35:29.960 --> 0:35:31.920
<v Speaker 1>can't believe they're eating it. I was like, I know,

0:35:32.080 --> 0:35:35.200
<v Speaker 1>I like put so much effort into their food. The

0:35:35.239 --> 0:35:37.560
<v Speaker 1>other day when they sat like kids sit down at dinner,

0:35:37.600 --> 0:35:39.399
<v Speaker 1>he comes in, I just put empty plates in front

0:35:39.440 --> 0:35:42.280
<v Speaker 1>of them to see what would happen that were fine,

0:35:42.400 --> 0:35:44.960
<v Speaker 1>that were content, and I was like what. I was

0:35:45.040 --> 0:35:48.560
<v Speaker 1>just like not interested, and then question and I was like, nah,

0:35:48.600 --> 0:35:51.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm just kidding. And I rang their food over to

0:35:51.920 --> 0:35:55.880
<v Speaker 1>them and I was like, get out of my fucking house.

0:35:58.840 --> 0:36:00.520
<v Speaker 1>What have you got from me, Matt? Okay, this one

0:36:00.560 --> 0:36:01.440
<v Speaker 1>is usually is strong.

0:36:01.600 --> 0:36:02.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's uh.

0:36:04.200 --> 0:36:06.960
<v Speaker 1>There are any dicks in this any lube.

0:36:07.080 --> 0:36:09.840
<v Speaker 2>No lube no. So last week's was a cracker.

0:36:09.960 --> 0:36:11.560
<v Speaker 1>That's a great. Yeah, that's the best one.

0:36:11.640 --> 0:36:17.520
<v Speaker 2>But this one is very good. It's ordinary adhd ooh, topical, topical,

0:36:17.719 --> 0:36:22.520
<v Speaker 2>so Abby says. My husband is usually mister dependable. He

0:36:22.600 --> 0:36:25.640
<v Speaker 2>literally never drops the ball when it comes to the kids.

0:36:26.280 --> 0:36:29.479
<v Speaker 1>God tongue.

0:36:30.680 --> 0:36:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Their eldest has ADHD and he's always losing stuff so

0:36:35.360 --> 0:36:39.000
<v Speaker 2>mainly his drink bottle is Jumpers, et cetera. He gets

0:36:39.040 --> 0:36:43.320
<v Speaker 2>it all and in a rare moment of negligence from.

0:36:43.160 --> 0:36:45.200
<v Speaker 1>The dad, well said, thank you.

0:36:45.600 --> 0:36:48.640
<v Speaker 2>He has forgotten to pack the son's lunchbox.

0:36:48.800 --> 0:36:51.400
<v Speaker 1>Another another one happens to the.

0:36:51.440 --> 0:36:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Best of us. So we sent the kid out to school,

0:36:55.239 --> 0:36:59.040
<v Speaker 2>realized that he's forgotten the lunch box. However, given his

0:36:59.080 --> 0:37:02.759
<v Speaker 2>track record, you did not want to be tarnished. He's

0:37:02.840 --> 0:37:07.600
<v Speaker 2>called the school and let's just say the kid's called Timmy.

0:37:07.719 --> 0:37:08.800
<v Speaker 1>Did you call him Timmy?

0:37:08.880 --> 0:37:11.960
<v Speaker 2>Seriously, let's call him let's call him Sam nice. He's

0:37:11.960 --> 0:37:15.880
<v Speaker 2>caught up the school and said, hey, Sam, you know

0:37:16.280 --> 0:37:20.160
<v Speaker 2>he's not very reliable. He's forgotten his lunch box and

0:37:20.480 --> 0:37:22.480
<v Speaker 2>I just want to say that, like I apologize.

0:37:22.520 --> 0:37:23.560
<v Speaker 1>So he's flat out of his blame.

0:37:23.680 --> 0:37:30.600
<v Speaker 2>He's got the ADHD unfortunately, Yeah, it's you know, it happens.

0:37:31.520 --> 0:37:33.799
<v Speaker 2>So he said, I'm just going to order from the

0:37:33.880 --> 0:37:38.520
<v Speaker 2>Touch shop, so please let Sam know go hungry exactly,

0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:41.080
<v Speaker 2>and Sam didn't even question it apparently when they were like,

0:37:41.120 --> 0:37:43.120
<v Speaker 2>oh Sam, because you forgot your lunch box, you got

0:37:43.200 --> 0:37:43.640
<v Speaker 2>touch shops?

0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:47.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay, what so okay, So let me the chain of

0:37:47.400 --> 0:37:50.880
<v Speaker 1>events here. He's been left to make the lunch, didn't

0:37:50.920 --> 0:37:53.440
<v Speaker 1>make the or did make lunch, we don't know, didn't

0:37:53.480 --> 0:37:56.160
<v Speaker 1>send the kid with lunch, then rings up the school

0:37:56.480 --> 0:37:58.920
<v Speaker 1>to blame his kid for forgetting the lunch.

0:37:59.040 --> 0:38:08.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah that's great. Oh god, well, Abby, mister dependable has

0:38:08.120 --> 0:38:10.200
<v Speaker 2>gotten you tilder bucks worth a buddy smuggling.

0:38:10.520 --> 0:38:13.279
<v Speaker 1>Still dependable, but also he blanches kids for most of

0:38:13.280 --> 0:38:14.239
<v Speaker 1>the things that suck up.

0:38:14.760 --> 0:38:17.719
<v Speaker 2>Congratulations. What was the other thing we have to offer? Ash? Yes,

0:38:17.920 --> 0:38:20.040
<v Speaker 2>so this is red hot, hot off the press.

0:38:19.840 --> 0:38:24.920
<v Speaker 1>Hot off the press being Christmas being summer. Okay, why

0:38:24.960 --> 0:38:28.480
<v Speaker 1>not go out get yourself a fresh pair of budgies,

0:38:28.520 --> 0:38:31.000
<v Speaker 1>maybe some matching budgies with the whole family, because they

0:38:31.000 --> 0:38:35.160
<v Speaker 1>come in women's, men's, kids, even dogs now have leads.

0:38:35.560 --> 0:38:37.560
<v Speaker 1>Why not? Or if you want to treat your dad,

0:38:37.920 --> 0:38:39.600
<v Speaker 1>there's some tinny holders.

0:38:39.840 --> 0:38:43.600
<v Speaker 2>Can I just say Marley and Lola love love their

0:38:43.600 --> 0:38:47.160
<v Speaker 2>little leg watermelon ones. Yeah, the pineapple ones they've got

0:38:47.200 --> 0:38:47.600
<v Speaker 2>like three.

0:38:47.640 --> 0:38:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Now, they've got heaps, heaps, heaps heaps matching. Get it

0:38:50.920 --> 0:38:55.080
<v Speaker 1>done with our twenty percent discount sight wide?

0:38:55.360 --> 0:38:55.960
<v Speaker 2>Should I do it?

0:38:56.000 --> 0:39:01.920
<v Speaker 4>And they're like, we've gone crazy here at two dining dads,

0:39:03.000 --> 0:39:07.640
<v Speaker 4>dog leashes, kids, swimwear, even mom and dad's budget smugglers,

0:39:07.640 --> 0:39:09.000
<v Speaker 4>they're all going to race out the door.

0:39:09.080 --> 0:39:14.680
<v Speaker 1>Twenty percent of sales, sales, sale, everything must go.

0:39:15.000 --> 0:39:16.880
<v Speaker 2>Buddy, Smuggler's closing down.

0:39:16.960 --> 0:39:21.680
<v Speaker 1>So the code will be No, they're not sorry. All

0:39:21.719 --> 0:39:24.319
<v Speaker 1>the employees a budge going, oh my god, is how

0:39:24.360 --> 0:39:29.480
<v Speaker 1>you're telling what's happened? Just fight everyone? Fact. So let's

0:39:30.160 --> 0:39:33.680
<v Speaker 1>treat yourself. It is. The code is actually valid until

0:39:33.800 --> 0:39:36.480
<v Speaker 1>Christmas Eve. So if you want that last minute present,

0:39:36.960 --> 0:39:41.440
<v Speaker 1>it is two doting dads is the code, will leave

0:39:41.440 --> 0:39:42.120
<v Speaker 1>it in the show not.

0:39:42.120 --> 0:39:44.080
<v Speaker 2>And do you know what the most exciting thing is? Ah?

0:39:44.400 --> 0:39:49.160
<v Speaker 2>Well that twenty nine bark calendar. Oh hang on.

0:39:49.280 --> 0:39:55.040
<v Speaker 1>So we're going to lose more money. Great?

0:39:56.000 --> 0:39:57.920
<v Speaker 2>Fuck, I'm just so stupid.

0:39:58.120 --> 0:39:59.480
<v Speaker 1>Do you want to know what the difference is? So

0:39:59.520 --> 0:40:01.160
<v Speaker 1>we want to know? Take six dollars off a chair.

0:40:01.719 --> 0:40:03.440
<v Speaker 2>All right, mister smarty pants.

0:40:03.680 --> 0:40:04.880
<v Speaker 1>It's not exactly not bad.

0:40:04.719 --> 0:40:08.960
<v Speaker 2>But'son who dropped out of school? Fifteen six dollars off?

0:40:09.000 --> 0:40:10.320
<v Speaker 2>So twenty three bars for the calendar.

0:40:10.400 --> 0:40:14.920
<v Speaker 1>That's beautiful. So plus maybe add fifty dollars make some

0:40:14.960 --> 0:40:18.799
<v Speaker 1>money back. But anyway, that's it for that segment for

0:40:19.120 --> 0:40:21.919
<v Speaker 1>this year. We'll leave you with that discount code. Share

0:40:21.960 --> 0:40:25.080
<v Speaker 1>it to whoever you like, enjoy. If you want to

0:40:25.080 --> 0:40:29.440
<v Speaker 1>buy me some, go for it. But let's move on now.

0:40:30.320 --> 0:40:31.160
<v Speaker 1>Two questions.

0:40:31.200 --> 0:40:33.120
<v Speaker 2>A couple of questions before we wrap up this episode.

0:40:33.200 --> 0:40:34.880
<v Speaker 1>This is in our final episode for the year, but

0:40:34.920 --> 0:40:38.440
<v Speaker 1>it's a final segment of ordinary parents might do something special.

0:40:38.560 --> 0:40:40.279
<v Speaker 1>Next week we'll come up with something that.

0:40:40.239 --> 0:40:43.400
<v Speaker 2>We should do. Okay, for next week's episode, do it naked.

0:40:44.960 --> 0:40:47.520
<v Speaker 2>I want to know best meltdowns?

0:40:47.800 --> 0:40:50.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, send us your best meltdown.

0:40:50.360 --> 0:40:52.719
<v Speaker 2>So, for example, from today's episode, Marley not being able

0:40:52.760 --> 0:40:55.400
<v Speaker 2>to play the Pokey's at the rsl L.

0:40:55.760 --> 0:40:57.520
<v Speaker 1>That's a random one too, I mean, I get it

0:40:57.560 --> 0:40:59.719
<v Speaker 1>the lights. Next, you'd be like I wanted to bet

0:40:59.760 --> 0:41:05.040
<v Speaker 1>on that miss the jump just over there on the

0:41:05.040 --> 0:41:05.600
<v Speaker 1>dish liquors.

0:41:06.320 --> 0:41:07.640
<v Speaker 2>What's the dish lickuer dogs?

0:41:08.000 --> 0:41:08.560
<v Speaker 1>You'll get there.

0:41:08.640 --> 0:41:14.319
<v Speaker 2>Okay, listen the questions, Ash, I've got one here. This

0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:17.440
<v Speaker 2>one is from Shannon Shan. Shout out to Shannon.

0:41:17.440 --> 0:41:18.320
<v Speaker 1>Shout out to Shan.

0:41:20.920 --> 0:41:24.360
<v Speaker 2>She wants to know, Ash, is it difficult managing sending

0:41:24.400 --> 0:41:27.640
<v Speaker 2>your boy oscar to two different daycares for example, like

0:41:27.719 --> 0:41:30.160
<v Speaker 2>friends and cares, et cetera. Do you have any tips?

0:41:30.520 --> 0:41:33.160
<v Speaker 2>Have tips like why do you send your boys to

0:41:33.239 --> 0:41:34.080
<v Speaker 2>two different daycares?

0:41:34.400 --> 0:41:37.040
<v Speaker 1>Idea? Actually, we should probably call my wife. Should be

0:41:37.200 --> 0:41:38.480
<v Speaker 1>my wife, Okay.

0:41:38.280 --> 0:41:39.840
<v Speaker 2>Let's call it. But if we ask her to be

0:41:39.880 --> 0:41:40.719
<v Speaker 2>on the pode, you'll say no.

0:41:40.800 --> 0:41:42.799
<v Speaker 1>So we'll just pretend that we're just chatting, so she

0:41:42.880 --> 0:41:46.040
<v Speaker 1>knows that we're recording today. But we'll just give a.

0:41:46.080 --> 0:41:48.160
<v Speaker 2>Call and we'll just put it on. Hold her up

0:41:48.160 --> 0:41:48.760
<v Speaker 2>to the microphone.

0:41:48.760 --> 0:41:58.239
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, let's do that. Hi, Hey, how you go on?

0:41:59.120 --> 0:41:59.719
<v Speaker 2>Are you good?

0:41:59.760 --> 0:42:02.960
<v Speaker 1>Good? Hey? Sorry to bully. That quick question that's actually

0:42:02.960 --> 0:42:06.399
<v Speaker 1>asked me a really important question and I don't know

0:42:06.560 --> 0:42:15.960
<v Speaker 1>the ANSWER's sect standard. Why do we send Oscar to

0:42:16.000 --> 0:42:17.000
<v Speaker 1>two different daycares?

0:42:18.560 --> 0:42:22.240
<v Speaker 2>Because they're two different ones a preschool and one's a daycare?

0:42:22.600 --> 0:42:25.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, is there any other better? And I think I

0:42:25.040 --> 0:42:26.040
<v Speaker 1>think preschool?

0:42:26.320 --> 0:42:29.560
<v Speaker 2>He it's pretty much like setting him up for school.

0:42:30.160 --> 0:42:32.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay, it's not cheaper or something.

0:42:33.640 --> 0:42:40.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, it's also free. Why it's free?

0:42:40.320 --> 0:42:40.719
<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

0:42:40.800 --> 0:42:43.440
<v Speaker 2>They have some ever since COVID they announced like some

0:42:43.520 --> 0:42:45.440
<v Speaker 2>funding thing and you get two three.

0:42:45.320 --> 0:42:46.200
<v Speaker 1>Days of pre school.

0:42:46.680 --> 0:42:49.880
<v Speaker 2>So April, can you not keep them at that that

0:42:49.960 --> 0:42:51.160
<v Speaker 2>one for the whole time?

0:42:51.640 --> 0:42:53.480
<v Speaker 1>No, they're not. You can only do two days a week.

0:42:53.520 --> 0:42:53.920
<v Speaker 1>Is that right?

0:42:55.760 --> 0:42:55.920
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:42:55.960 --> 0:42:57.879
<v Speaker 2>The one his favorite one? Yeah?

0:42:58.360 --> 0:43:00.920
<v Speaker 1>Favorite. I don't need this, but yeah, so that's the.

0:43:00.880 --> 0:43:02.279
<v Speaker 4>Thing that he can.

0:43:02.320 --> 0:43:04.920
<v Speaker 1>Then like they have a two day program.

0:43:04.640 --> 0:43:06.759
<v Speaker 2>For three to four year olds and then the three

0:43:06.840 --> 0:43:09.040
<v Speaker 2>day program for the four to five year olds.

0:43:09.200 --> 0:43:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I didn't know any.

0:43:10.400 --> 0:43:12.759
<v Speaker 2>Of any of this, and that's why he can only

0:43:12.760 --> 0:43:15.400
<v Speaker 2>go make them three days and it's yeah, basically like

0:43:16.440 --> 0:43:17.640
<v Speaker 2>just fitting them up for school.

0:43:17.800 --> 0:43:19.160
<v Speaker 1>I thought they just said that. I don't want to

0:43:19.160 --> 0:43:20.319
<v Speaker 1>deal with him more than two days.

0:43:24.080 --> 0:43:27.640
<v Speaker 2>Quick question before she goes, April, Sorry, is it a

0:43:27.760 --> 0:43:32.640
<v Speaker 2>night there? Having two daycares like adjusting to two different spots,

0:43:33.640 --> 0:43:34.280
<v Speaker 2>not at all.

0:43:35.080 --> 0:43:37.400
<v Speaker 1>Well, you're not the one going to two different daycas.

0:43:37.640 --> 0:43:41.920
<v Speaker 1>He's sometimes sometimes he likes one more than the other.

0:43:42.000 --> 0:43:44.040
<v Speaker 1>I propose one over the other, So getting in to

0:43:44.080 --> 0:43:46.640
<v Speaker 1>go to the second one is a bit of right pain,

0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:50.160
<v Speaker 1>but it is what it is. I d reckon. He

0:43:50.160 --> 0:43:56.040
<v Speaker 1>says that, all right, thank you, thanks April, all right,

0:43:56.120 --> 0:43:57.760
<v Speaker 1>bye bye.

0:43:58.360 --> 0:43:58.920
<v Speaker 2>Well there you go.

0:43:59.160 --> 0:44:01.800
<v Speaker 1>There you have it. But there's the answer now tips

0:44:01.800 --> 0:44:02.280
<v Speaker 1>and tricks.

0:44:02.320 --> 0:44:04.520
<v Speaker 2>Well, if you got to ask of that, oh fuck,

0:44:05.120 --> 0:44:07.520
<v Speaker 2>go back. No is it hard for you doing drop off?

0:44:07.719 --> 0:44:09.080
<v Speaker 1>It is for like the back end of the week,

0:44:09.080 --> 0:44:11.319
<v Speaker 1>because he loves the first and front of the week

0:44:11.880 --> 0:44:15.080
<v Speaker 1>because they're all older kids and it's more of a

0:44:15.200 --> 0:44:17.560
<v Speaker 1>like a I don't know, it feels like a little

0:44:17.560 --> 0:44:21.080
<v Speaker 1>community of that age kid. Okay, then the other one

0:44:21.120 --> 0:44:24.719
<v Speaker 1>there's younger kids, you know, And.

0:44:25.880 --> 0:44:27.960
<v Speaker 2>He does the front end of the week. At the

0:44:28.040 --> 0:44:28.680
<v Speaker 2>daycare that he.

0:44:28.960 --> 0:44:31.560
<v Speaker 1>Like the preschool, right, and then he got daycare.

0:44:31.680 --> 0:44:34.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, how do you manage the friends scenario? I guess

0:44:34.120 --> 0:44:35.759
<v Speaker 2>he's not really doing like playdates, is he.

0:44:36.080 --> 0:44:40.439
<v Speaker 1>Well, we haven't had a birthday yet, so yeah. Look

0:44:40.920 --> 0:44:42.520
<v Speaker 1>in the first one, he's got his clique friends that

0:44:42.560 --> 0:44:45.000
<v Speaker 1>we hang out with all the time anyway. The other one,

0:44:45.000 --> 0:44:47.160
<v Speaker 1>who's got one or two friends that he's like excited

0:44:47.160 --> 0:44:49.160
<v Speaker 1>to see when he gets there. If they're not there,

0:44:49.200 --> 0:44:52.120
<v Speaker 1>it's difficult. And sometimes there's a little bit of cross

0:44:52.120 --> 0:44:54.040
<v Speaker 1>pollination that one of the kids that he goes to

0:44:54.120 --> 0:44:55.640
<v Speaker 1>and the other one also goes to this.

0:44:55.560 --> 0:44:56.719
<v Speaker 2>One cross pollination.

0:44:59.800 --> 0:45:07.520
<v Speaker 1>And when the bees came flying and sorry, but yeah,

0:45:07.600 --> 0:45:08.200
<v Speaker 1>I would.

0:45:08.000 --> 0:45:11.560
<v Speaker 2>Say hanging out with knowing those kind of words.

0:45:11.840 --> 0:45:17.719
<v Speaker 1>That's I watched the Bee movie. Yes, actually great movie.

0:45:17.840 --> 0:45:19.319
<v Speaker 1>Also Jerry Sunfeld's coming out.

0:45:19.480 --> 0:45:21.799
<v Speaker 2>I watched Bee Movie as well. Did you graphics are

0:45:21.800 --> 0:45:23.600
<v Speaker 2>a bit shit? Also, it's weird that he's got the

0:45:23.640 --> 0:45:25.720
<v Speaker 2>hots for a woman. Sorry, we're going on a massive tangent.

0:45:25.840 --> 0:45:26.919
<v Speaker 2>Was put this back on track?

0:45:27.560 --> 0:45:33.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. Wow, it's weird that they can talk. Ah.

0:45:33.360 --> 0:45:35.440
<v Speaker 2>Yes, do we have time for a quick question?

0:45:35.560 --> 0:45:38.439
<v Speaker 1>Any tips I've got bribe, bribe, bribe, and the bride

0:45:38.480 --> 0:45:41.520
<v Speaker 1>doesn't work, threaten them. Okay. Next question, something a little

0:45:41.520 --> 0:45:43.840
<v Speaker 1>bit different for this one. Usually I'll ask you a question,

0:45:43.920 --> 0:45:46.480
<v Speaker 1>but I've got two really rapid fire questions from two

0:45:46.560 --> 0:45:49.600
<v Speaker 1>randoms that have come through on the d First one,

0:45:49.960 --> 0:45:52.279
<v Speaker 1>it's obviously about parenting. It's not just about life. Well,

0:45:52.280 --> 0:45:55.800
<v Speaker 1>it could be about life either that you decide yes.

0:45:56.040 --> 0:45:57.680
<v Speaker 1>First question is it expensive?

0:45:58.160 --> 0:46:00.759
<v Speaker 2>Ah? Yes? Like horrendous?

0:46:00.760 --> 0:46:02.839
<v Speaker 1>Okay, enough said. Does it get any better?

0:46:03.800 --> 0:46:04.040
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:46:04.440 --> 0:46:09.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's all good time for Thank you for the honesty, Matt.

0:46:10.719 --> 0:46:14.719
<v Speaker 1>If you've liked this episode, please feel free review, send

0:46:14.719 --> 0:46:18.080
<v Speaker 1>it to a friend, like, subscribe, follow us on Instagram,

0:46:18.440 --> 0:46:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Keep an eye out for this calendar and Matt's pubes.

0:46:21.560 --> 0:46:23.960
<v Speaker 2>Yes, keep an eye out for the month of June.

0:46:24.320 --> 0:46:25.840
<v Speaker 1>June specifically.

0:46:25.960 --> 0:46:29.200
<v Speaker 2>I now look at that photo and realize that why

0:46:29.239 --> 0:46:32.200
<v Speaker 2>didn't the photographer Mel, Why don't you say, hey, you

0:46:32.239 --> 0:46:36.240
<v Speaker 2>got your samtar. But if you do have any listener

0:46:36.360 --> 0:46:39.880
<v Speaker 2>questions as well, be mindful that Ash and I don't

0:46:39.920 --> 0:46:41.879
<v Speaker 2>like to give any type of medical advice, so keep

0:46:41.920 --> 0:46:44.640
<v Speaker 2>those ones to the professional. Have a crack, but anything

0:46:44.680 --> 0:46:46.640
<v Speaker 2>else send them away.

0:46:46.760 --> 0:46:48.760
<v Speaker 1>Yes, we have one more episode this year.

0:46:49.000 --> 0:46:50.200
<v Speaker 2>Yes, what a year?

0:46:51.400 --> 0:46:54.680
<v Speaker 1>What a what a year? And some sad news. Matt,

0:46:54.800 --> 0:46:59.320
<v Speaker 1>this will be my last episode of Two Learning Dads

0:47:00.160 --> 0:47:03.200
<v Speaker 1>this year. No waon't no, damn it, I fucked that up.

0:47:05.680 --> 0:47:08.520
<v Speaker 1>I was going to try and get another crack at that.

0:47:08.719 --> 0:47:12.239
<v Speaker 1>Na okay, I just think it. But anyway, Yes, the

0:47:12.280 --> 0:47:15.280
<v Speaker 1>last episode next week will be recording. Get your questions

0:47:15.280 --> 0:47:17.200
<v Speaker 1>in if you've got some good ones. Look, I'll take

0:47:17.200 --> 0:47:22.000
<v Speaker 1>the metaphor ones for Christmas. If yours kids stuck a

0:47:23.000 --> 0:47:25.160
<v Speaker 1>stuck an ornament? Other bum I want to know about.

0:47:25.200 --> 0:47:27.640
<v Speaker 2>It's the guys next week.

0:47:27.800 --> 0:47:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Thank you guys.

0:47:35.960 --> 0:47:39.600
<v Speaker 2>Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

0:47:39.600 --> 0:47:43.320
<v Speaker 2>throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

0:47:43.560 --> 0:47:46.080
<v Speaker 1>We pay our respects to their elders past and present

0:47:46.120 --> 0:47:48.879
<v Speaker 1>and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight

0:47:48.920 --> 0:47:52.560
<v Speaker 1>Island the people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagle

0:47:52.640 --> 0:47:52.879
<v Speaker 1>Land