Speaker 1: Yeah, yea, yea.
Speaker 2: I'm still staring at a moment when I was singing upstairs.
Speaker 1: I can't come good.
Speaker 2: I like put an accent on.
Speaker 1: Oh go give me, and I know I can't remember
Speaker 1: what it.
Speaker 2: Was I was, but I thought to myself, maybe that's
Speaker 2: why I've never been a good singer, because I'm trying
Speaker 2: to sing in my normal talking voice. I need to
Speaker 2: sing in like.
Speaker 1: You're stuck, mama, mama.
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 1: Is that the frog singing? It? Put it murmur?
Speaker 2: I can't think of the song, and I was upstairs
Speaker 2: going shit. Am I about to stumble upon the fact
Speaker 2: that I can sing?
Speaker 1: My imagine will release an album?
Speaker 2: I do want to hear about your hemorrhoids. Oh yes,
Speaker 2: but let me just do an intro and then we
Speaker 2: can get straight into your asshole. Welcome back to two
Speaker 2: doting dads.
Speaker 3: I'm Mattie Jay and I'm as And this is a podcast,
Speaker 3: a long one, and what she said, this is a
Speaker 3: podcast all about parenting.
Speaker 2: It's the good, the bad, and the relatable. And if
Speaker 2: you have come wanting any advice, I'm sorry to say
Speaker 2: that for legal reasons, we do have to make it
Speaker 2: known that none is given in any capacity. On this
Speaker 2: podcast zero Ash Hemorrhoids.
Speaker 1: I did mention to you this morning when we were
Speaker 1: on the Today Show. For those of you who did
Speaker 1: see little flex there, you've dropped second time this year.
Speaker 2: Congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 1: That's more times than I've ever been on anything. Yeah, look,
Speaker 1: de Roid's back.
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 1: I don't know?
Speaker 2: Is it big? Because I'm very green here in the
Speaker 2: world of hemorrhoids? Are you pushing too hard?
Speaker 1: Is it just think I just must be sitting there
Speaker 1: too long? Too often? My assholes?
Speaker 2: A mystery you keep sending me. This is like the
Speaker 2: second version of doing it videos of you on the
Speaker 2: toilet where you take your shirt off as a skit.
Speaker 2: How often do you go to the bathroom and then
Speaker 2: have to remove remove your T shirt because cook happened?
Speaker 2: Does that happen?
Speaker 1: It's a real sweaty one a lot.
Speaker 2: Are you saying like once a week, twice a week?
Speaker 1: Nah, once a week? Maybe I'll get a bit hot and.
Speaker 2: Bothered and so currently Are you in any discomfort right now?
Speaker 1: No, I'm right now. I haven't got to that point.
Speaker 1: But I did shit a leaf the other day, but
Speaker 1: just this podcast, what the fuck is going on over here?
Speaker 2: When we left the Today Show and we will explain
Speaker 2: why we were on the Today Show in just a second.
Speaker 2: But when we left, you said, I have to do
Speaker 2: it pooh, And I said, there's a toilet, there's a
Speaker 2: toilet around the corner. And you're like, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 2: And it's about a half an hour. It's a half
Speaker 2: an hour drive from where the studio is to your home.
Speaker 2: How did you go in the drive home?
Speaker 1: I said, I just have to fart it out, And
Speaker 1: then I carried on about how I love farting the
Speaker 1: car because it mixes with the air.
Speaker 2: What is wrong with when it reverberates off the leather?
Speaker 2: But yeah, you did poo out a leaf.
Speaker 1: It was a full leaf, look like a maple leaf
Speaker 1: or kind of leaf. Like I didn't go and inspect it,
Speaker 1: like a eucalyptus fucking leaf.
Speaker 2: Though, what have you been eating?
Speaker 1: I don't know, don't know.
Speaker 2: How do you know it was a leaf? It was
Speaker 2: very scratched on the way out.
Speaker 1: No, no, it's separated from the main pile. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what is coming out of my mouth? And floated to
Speaker 1: the surface and it was I could still see the
Speaker 1: veins in it. Oh my God, please ignore anything I've
Speaker 1: just said. Do not let that judge let you do it?
Speaker 2: Will you go to the doctor?
Speaker 1: No, yea, I will actually yep.
Speaker 2: Sorry, come on mate, come on, Yeah, my wife booked
Speaker 2: me a doctor's appointment, did she.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm a man. I can't do myself. Of course,
Speaker 1: he dig demand there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we suck.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 2: I am wishing you were speedy recovery.
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 2: You see it?
Speaker 1: No, believe, I don't keep it.
Speaker 2: I want to see the hemorrhoid.
Speaker 1: No, I don't even want to see.
Speaker 2: We're not there yet.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see it.
Speaker 2: I can't wait.
Speaker 1: I told you I'm going with the cream real blind
Speaker 1: because I don't want to see it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know. When we're at the point
Speaker 2: where we can confidently show each other our hemorrhoids, that's
Speaker 2: where that's where I've wanted to be for an entire time.
Speaker 1: We'll get there. We'll get there maybe.
Speaker 2: But we have to talk about Yeah, Today's Show. Yes,
Speaker 2: shout out to the Today Show for having a song.
Speaker 1: They're definitely listening after that shit talk.
Speaker 2: It's always we threw the idea around. We said, hey,
Speaker 2: we've got this calendar. It's the sexiest unofficially the sexiest
Speaker 2: calendar ever made Correct Chor Play twenty twenty four. He said,
Speaker 2: would you have us on the show and they said absolutely,
Speaker 2: we would love to, and ASHNEI said, it could be
Speaker 2: funny if we come on in bathrobes, budges underneath and
Speaker 2: new Balance sneakers, New Balance sneakers extra wide with the
Speaker 2: white sock high sock, non angler midigh and mid high sock.
Speaker 1: It's an awkward length sock.
Speaker 2: It is who was binding you know what it is?
Speaker 1: It's meant to be a full length white sock. Okay,
Speaker 1: but Dad's bought it and he's bought the six to
Speaker 1: eight size instead of the eight.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: When they slipped down.
Speaker 2: To people were looking at us, like, what the hell
Speaker 2: are these two guys? To poor cleaner, I said, I'll
Speaker 2: bring some cleaning equipment. So I rock up and you
Speaker 2: have to come from the basement up to the reception.
Speaker 2: You sign in, and I have a mop and I
Speaker 2: have the dust. And as I'm coming towards the main
Speaker 2: reception desk, I spot the cleaner who's there with a
Speaker 2: trolley and her mop bucket. She looks at me. I
Speaker 2: look at her, and she's like.
Speaker 1: Get off my territory. The studio is only big enough
Speaker 1: for the one of us.
Speaker 2: People must yeah, very confused.
Speaker 1: She probably thought, is this how they tell me that
Speaker 1: I've been like?
Speaker 2: She didn't. She looked panicked. She was she had the
Speaker 2: look of fear in her eye, and I had to
Speaker 2: kind of say, like, don't worry, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 1: She've been working all night.
Speaker 2: The place looks great. Yeah, bang up, job, I don't
Speaker 2: know what I'm doing here. But then it was also
Speaker 2: weird that we're on morning TV in our budgies. But
Speaker 2: also the segment before us they.
Speaker 1: Had I think he was a.
Speaker 2: Foreign corresponding like he was talking about war overseas, very
Speaker 2: serious topic.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're talking about the Ukraine? Were they?
Speaker 2: When we correct, like what's going to happen with the war?
Speaker 2: Where we at? And then a weird gear shift to
Speaker 2: then cut to you and me on the couch and
Speaker 2: bathrobes with new BALANCEI.
Speaker 1: What about him as a guest, and then seeing the
Speaker 1: other guest, thinking this is where I'm being in bad
Speaker 1: to these two guys half naked.
Speaker 2: The guy who was I think I recognize him. He's
Speaker 2: a pretty serious journalist.
Speaker 1: I have seen him. Yeah, and we're in the green
Speaker 1: room and you in the green room.
Speaker 2: He must have looked at us and just been like.
Speaker 1: Fuck, what's going on? Yeah, joke's on you, bro. We're
Speaker 1: getting paid the same.
Speaker 2: The calendar.
Speaker 1: Yes, Matt has got the proto type oh yeah, and
Speaker 1: then over to you didn't know it was my birthday
Speaker 1: with all his cake? Oh yeah, that is okay, glossy.
Speaker 2: So people, I've had countless people message me as everyone
Speaker 2: is just hitting me up. I can't even leave the
Speaker 2: house without someone harassing me and going when's the calendar
Speaker 2: going to be available?
Speaker 1: So when this comes out.
Speaker 2: Yes, the calendar will be available for sale. I have
Speaker 2: to say I'm going to preface this and say that
Speaker 2: there's only one hundred. Yes, it's one hundred available to.
Speaker 1: Be that's the ten that I buy for myself.
Speaker 2: Your grandma, NaN's getting one, NaN's getting one. These are
Speaker 2: a collector's item. They are hot property. They will it's
Speaker 2: not a matter of if it's when they sell out.
Speaker 1: If you want to chuck your breakfast stuff every morning,
Speaker 1: get one of these.
Speaker 2: There is an account. It doesn't have a profile picture.
Speaker 2: They have messaged me five times being like me wanting
Speaker 2: to know where the calendar is and we can confirm
Speaker 2: that if you would like to buy a calendar, it
Speaker 2: is on the Budgy smuggler website. Yes, turns out calendars
Speaker 2: are not cheap to make. I fucked up. I got
Speaker 2: a quote for like ten bucks and then and the
Speaker 2: guy was like, oh, do you want to double sided?
Speaker 1: And I was like, who's going to get a one
Speaker 1: sided calendar?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So double sided? Double the price.
Speaker 1: Yeah, funny man.
Speaker 2: They are costing us also, so late in the day
Speaker 2: to have this idea to get it ready for Christmas,
Speaker 2: costing us about twenty We're going to lose money. This
Speaker 2: is a terrible business venture.
Speaker 1: We owe it to the people, the mothers, Yes, the
Speaker 1: mothers and the wives who listen to us. We owe
Speaker 1: it to them.
Speaker 2: How much do you want to sell it for? Like
Speaker 2: twenty two hundred dollars?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: We have to work that out, but not March twenty.
Speaker 1: Parents don't have a lot of money.
Speaker 2: I feel like in the world of calendars, I've done
Speaker 2: some research, it's a very wide net in terms of pricing.
Speaker 2: Cheaper ones are ten bucks, expensive ones are forty bucks.
Speaker 2: I don't know how the pricing works. A friend's calendar
Speaker 2: is ten bucks like Friends, Friends TV shows.
Speaker 1: It should be more because Matt's dead now, Matthew Perry.
Speaker 1: I mean that is a collectors It is a collect design.
Speaker 1: It is from cotton.
Speaker 2: That's we're now competing against the friend's calendar industry, which
Speaker 2: is hot property out everywhere.
Speaker 1: I yesterday saw there was a booth at the shopping
Speaker 1: center near my place. Shout out to worlwid Square. They're
Speaker 1: not sponsoring the oudside. I'm just saying that. And it's
Speaker 1: outside of Woolies. That's where they get. Yeah, and it
Speaker 1: was the fire and calendar, but they've changed it up
Speaker 1: a bit now because obviously not too sexy. It's sexy still,
Speaker 1: but there's other options. There's like a dog option and
Speaker 1: there was another option I didn't.
Speaker 2: So depending on what kind of level of sex that
Speaker 2: you want, you can go like mid level sex with
Speaker 2: a puppy, or you can go full on hornbag, you.
Speaker 1: Go beast reality.
Speaker 2: Do you know how much is that selling for the
Speaker 2: fireman calendar?
Speaker 1: I had one there. It was the favorite house Fires. No,
Speaker 1: I made that up. That would be funny though. That's
Speaker 1: the thing. I sort of cruised pass. You didn't check
Speaker 1: the price I didn't want to get too close case.
Speaker 1: I tried to sell one to me and it was
Speaker 1: a very handsome.
Speaker 2: It was like it was a booth.
Speaker 1: It was a booth.
Speaker 2: Oh ship. So the firemen with their where this is.
Speaker 1: Like imagine if that was your They're like, congratulations, you're
Speaker 1: now a fireman. But get you're too good looking. You
Speaker 1: have to actually stand at Warrwood Shopping Center and sell
Speaker 1: the calendars.
Speaker 2: Of all the real fire there's a house on fire.
Speaker 1: No no, no, not you. He's like trying to blow it
Speaker 1: out with calendar.
Speaker 2: Well I was going to say, maybe maybe you didn't
Speaker 2: want to have any competition there, because the world of
Speaker 2: calendars very competitive. I know.
Speaker 1: I was going to walk past and like push his
Speaker 1: stall over and like, ll just take off. Good thing.
Speaker 2: I didn't because the firemen have had they've had like
Speaker 2: a choke hold on the industry. They have for a
Speaker 2: very long time. As of now, as of getting.
Speaker 1: Ready, sexy firemen, there's a couple of sexy house dads
Speaker 1: come in your way.
Speaker 2: They're panicking house husbands. So I'm thinking twenty nine bucks.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's pretty good. Okay, happy with that whatever, Okay,
Speaker 1: give them away? Aready lost? Money doesn't really matter. Yeah,
Speaker 1: spent the money.
Speaker 2: Twenty nine bucks and we'll sign a couple. The first
Speaker 2: ten will.
Speaker 1: Sign random maybe in the back, sign on the back.
Speaker 2: Back Yeah, bit so they Yeah, get them quick in
Speaker 2: time for Christmas. That was the whole objective. We wanted
Speaker 2: to try and get these out the door ready to
Speaker 2: make people's Christmas morning just that little bit more specially.
Speaker 1: I can't wait for all the husbands to come at
Speaker 1: us and be like, how do you just look? Christmas
Speaker 1: ruined my Christmas with this thing. Speaking of husbands, Yes,
Speaker 1: I met a doting fan yesterday. Oh at the cafe.
Speaker 2: It doesn't happen often, not every now and then, not
Speaker 2: for me, But how did yours unfold?
Speaker 1: I was having breakfast with Macie Well, she was having
Speaker 1: a marshmallow different and she had two kids, beautiful kids.
Speaker 1: Sorry I just did a terrible to do that again.
Speaker 1: And she was coming out she said, oh, I love
Speaker 1: the podcast, and I was like, oh, thank you. She
Speaker 1: goes I listened to it all the time, and I
Speaker 1: was like, thank you so much. That means well, and
Speaker 1: it does. And then she said, oh, my husband hates you,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what emotion? Maybe not hate?
Speaker 2: Emotional rollercoaster.
Speaker 1: That's what I heard. I heard my husband hates you,
Speaker 1: and for what reason? Because apparently where all she talks
Speaker 1: about ding ding.
Speaker 2: Ding ding a little bit jealous?
Speaker 1: Well, jealousy is an ugly color.
Speaker 2: My friend, he is get her a calendar.
Speaker 1: I'm going to find out who she is, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to give her a calendar delivered. We should deliver
Speaker 1: it to a house I can leave it.
Speaker 2: We're not going to do it on Christmas morning.
Speaker 1: I'll find out. She must be local to me because
Speaker 1: it's a cafe we always go where she lives. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll find out. We're going to get her a calendar.
Speaker 1: Her husband was there, No, no, okay, but she said,
Speaker 1: I better not tell him that I ran into you.
Speaker 1: Am I having an affair? Yeah, so shout out. I
Speaker 1: didn't get your name. My bad.
Speaker 2: But if you're listening right now, and if she is
Speaker 2: as big of a fan as what she says she is,
Speaker 2: she will be listening.
Speaker 1: She will hunt me down, so she knows my dress.
Speaker 2: You do live very close to the cafe I do.
Speaker 2: I've forgot her name. There was a couple of people,
Speaker 2: you know. The Spotify rapped came out the top fan
Speaker 2: was someone there in the top six percent. She came
Speaker 2: out and said, depending on how many hours of like
Speaker 2: listening or how many episodes you listened to for the podcast,
Speaker 2: Spotify tells you, like what percentage of a fan you are,
Speaker 2: so you could be like the top one percent the
Speaker 2: best that I found. You're confused.
Speaker 1: I'm so confused, but I'm with you.
Speaker 2: So Spotify wrapped.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, I get that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Spotify. It's a understand that you listen.
Speaker 1: People are literally going, this.
Speaker 2: Is too much turns off, So show me casey Elizabeth.
Speaker 2: I just want to say she was in the top
Speaker 2: three percent.
Speaker 1: Well, who are the top two?
Speaker 2: Well I did a shout out to say, who are you?
Speaker 1: How many hours is that? Oh that's a lot.
Speaker 2: That is one thousand, what five hundred and thirty two minutes?
Speaker 1: I feel so sorry for your ear drums cast to
Speaker 1: my voice for that long.
Speaker 2: And she said, what do I get? Get a calendar?
Speaker 1: Bam, it's just like that. Now it was only ninety eight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: actually today show kept one, didn't they. Yeah, so now
Speaker 1: it's ninety seven that I was going to count.
Speaker 2: The bad they are running out that there's probably.
Speaker 1: Enough of them for us to sign all of them like,
Speaker 1: let's be honest.
Speaker 2: Well, I was going to suggest that, but then I
Speaker 2: know you hate anything, so I was like, we'll cap
Speaker 2: it at ten five.
Speaker 1: Now we'll go ten.
Speaker 2: I do want to hit you up about something? Yes,
Speaker 2: because we're now we're now well into December, right we are? Well, yeah,
Speaker 2: Christmas is I think both. It's I'm going to say
Speaker 2: circle roughly fifteen days away.
Speaker 1: What does circle mean?
Speaker 2: Like, I'm going to say circle means like approximately.
Speaker 1: That's just when people say circle two thousands, like a
Speaker 1: round about two thousand.
Speaker 2: Of the line. Please call it. I'm just going to
Speaker 2: google this. You ask a question, maybe I'll give you.
Speaker 2: Don't ask.
Speaker 1: Don't ask a question, excuse to pick your phone up.
Speaker 2: That you don't want to find out the answer to
Speaker 2: killing me? So means approximately, Oh.
Speaker 1: There you go?
Speaker 2: So you go?
Speaker 1: You're right? Or is that mate? Yippie always always am.
Speaker 2: So Christmas is very very close around the corner. Obviously,
Speaker 2: it's a very exciting time for who everyone involved, kids, parents,
Speaker 2: It's a great time. It's one of the I would
Speaker 2: say arguably the best time of the entire year where
Speaker 2: you're going except for one person, and that person is
Speaker 2: ash Wicks. You hate Christmas. I sure should not. You
Speaker 2: would have been a Christmas wrench.
Speaker 1: I probably used hate. I don't hate it. So let's sorry.
Speaker 1: Chairs are so fucking I hate this chair.
Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, I bought new chairs specifically for.
Speaker 1: You because it's like some they're a bit harsh tops.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like a rope.
Speaker 1: I told you that I had like a massive pimple
Speaker 1: in the back of my boil, scratched the ship out
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 2: It's not a hemorrhoid, it's a boil.
Speaker 1: It's yes, it's hard to keep your neck on my
Speaker 1: leg afterward.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, you hate Christmas. But does it come from the
Speaker 2: fact that you revealed to me as a child you
Speaker 2: never had a Christmas tree?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So when I was a kid, it's not that
Speaker 1: we never had a Christmas tree. We just didn't have
Speaker 1: a Christian tree in our house. As that was coming
Speaker 1: out of the mouth. That was dumb. So at my
Speaker 1: place of residence, in the home that I lived in,
Speaker 1: not an orphan, sorry, Martin. No, mine nan had the
Speaker 1: Christmas tree. The more I talk, the worse of this sound.
Speaker 1: So my grandmother had the Christmas tree at her house
Speaker 1: because we would always go there for Christmas in the afternoon,
Speaker 1: and then at home. We didn't have one ever, no, never, never,
Speaker 1: not until we were like, oh, we moved to the
Speaker 1: Gold Coast and Nan still lived in Sydney. She still
Speaker 1: kept putting her Christmas tree up even though no one came.
Speaker 1: She came.
Speaker 2: People were just hoping, people still came, praying.
Speaker 1: They'll come back. And then that's when we all of
Speaker 1: a sudden we had to have and like we were older,
Speaker 1: and it was more like we were getting presents for
Speaker 1: each other more than you know, Mum and dad. It
Speaker 1: wasn't that Mom and Dad didn't believe, like didn't like.
Speaker 2: Well sun to cry. Okay, question the people.
Speaker 1: Who listen to this podcast must think this is the
Speaker 1: most complicated human being in the world.
Speaker 2: Now, you know, Why was there ever a point when
Speaker 2: you were younger where you would go to someone else's
Speaker 2: house and you would see their Christmas tree. You would
Speaker 2: then come back to your own home and go Hang
Speaker 2: on a second.
Speaker 1: I was never lied to about Christmas. If you've got
Speaker 1: kids in the car and they're listening to this, yeah,
Speaker 1: just a warning. I was never lied to about Christmas.
Speaker 1: So is in the sand who.
Speaker 2: Gives the gifts? Which we all know wink wink is Santa.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what really gave away is my nan dressing up
Speaker 1: as Santa.
Speaker 2: Look.
Speaker 1: I also liked that about my childhood that I was
Speaker 1: never fucking fluffed about with that shit.
Speaker 2: I remember being in grade one approaching my mum in
Speaker 2: the corner of the house and being like, just tell me,
Speaker 2: how does he do it? It's impossible. There's so many
Speaker 2: houses and.
Speaker 1: Working on your sucking center off.
Speaker 2: Right, So your parents were just straight up.
Speaker 1: They were pretty straight up with me. Yeah, but the
Speaker 1: neighbors kids and stuff weren't. They was still in fairyland,
Speaker 1: so they were telling me not to tell them.
Speaker 2: You the person then that went around to all the
Speaker 2: kids and being like, sorry, timmy hate to break it
Speaker 2: to you. It doesn't fucking exist.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's me, that was you.
Speaker 2: No, I was just crushing dreams.
Speaker 1: I was respectful.
Speaker 2: I don't think you were.
Speaker 1: I don't even believe that. But yeah, it just it
Speaker 1: just wasn't something that. Also, we were pretty poor in that. No,
Speaker 1: we still celebrated Christmas. It wasn't like and I did
Speaker 1: enjoy Christmas as a kid because I get to go
Speaker 1: to my nan and be with my nan and stuff.
Speaker 1: Like that, but it like wasn't something we celebrated at.
Speaker 2: Home Christmas carols. Are you into that or not?
Speaker 1: Really? It used to work in retail when I was
Speaker 1: like in my teenage years. That is painful, so painful.
Speaker 1: That another reason I also think like Christmas is like,
Speaker 1: now I've got kids, I humor it. My wife loves it.
Speaker 1: She Christmas. That's great. I'm not going to sit here
Speaker 1: and completely pooh pooh on it. But I'm like, if
Speaker 1: it didn't exist, I wouldn't bother me.
Speaker 2: It's a lot different. Have you ever had a Christmas
Speaker 2: overseas where it's cold?
Speaker 1: No, the Christmas in Bali once was the best. Did
Speaker 1: you have to see anything?
Speaker 2: But if you have a Christmas like being in London,
Speaker 2: it is so depressing. The weather is so bad and
Speaker 2: miserable that the only thing that is just giving people
Speaker 2: any glimmer of hope, like any like just minute amount
Speaker 2: of happiness alcohol is that and Christmas. And so I
Speaker 2: think you have a different appreciation, yeah, for Christmas when
Speaker 2: you see that, Like, if it wasn't for Christmas, people
Speaker 2: would be in a lot worse place than what they
Speaker 2: are right now here.
Speaker 1: It's just it's just busy, dude, it is busy. Look
Speaker 1: like I said, hates a strong word. I despise it. No,
Speaker 1: it's just I just humor it for my kids.
Speaker 2: Now, whose idea was a Christmas tree at your place.
Speaker 1: Where I live now?
Speaker 2: Correct?
Speaker 1: I think it was just know Aprils. I guess if
Speaker 1: April was like I couldn't care less, we wouldn't have one.
Speaker 1: She's what yeah, And then when she's like, I'm going
Speaker 1: to set it up, I'm like, like was saying, I've
Speaker 1: got a humor because I have kids. That's it.
Speaker 2: I set Christmas tree up.
Speaker 1: No, actually, I set your Christmas tree up.
Speaker 2: Well, we did it as part of the shoot for
Speaker 2: the calendar, not to keep plugging it.
Speaker 1: How many times I washed my hand and Laura.
Speaker 2: Was like, you have to take it down, not the tree,
Speaker 2: the decorations, because I want the kids to put it on.
Speaker 1: And we had that memory.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would tarnish what I've just created with amen.
Speaker 1: As soon as I say, Marley and Laura, do you
Speaker 1: know what I set it up?
Speaker 2: Well, Laula did a crap job. It's a nightmare trying
Speaker 2: to get a four year old and a two year
Speaker 2: old to put on decorations in a tree.
Speaker 1: April whipped out our tree on a Sunday afternoon after
Speaker 1: we'd been like to a thirtieth the night before. I
Speaker 1: was like why, and she was like, no, I want
Speaker 1: the kids to do it with me. I'm like, do
Speaker 1: it when they're not here, it's so much easier.
Speaker 2: Or get them to do like the final decoration.
Speaker 1: Or something like that. And I had a tally of
Speaker 1: how many times April lost his shit and how many
Speaker 1: times the kids lost their shit. So April lost his
Speaker 1: shit three times kids and the kids two meltdowns between them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not bad. Odds they kept stepping on sharp things
Speaker 1: and like ah and then that's right. Oscar went outside
Speaker 1: to get something for the tree and makes he just
Speaker 1: like shut the door on him.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this Christmas tree is a splurge and.
Speaker 1: Got the one with the built in We're getting that
Speaker 1: next time.
Speaker 2: Fairy lights, but it freaks me out. And I'm sure
Speaker 2: they're a lot better now, but I'm like, if that
Speaker 2: I loves to keep them on, She like doesn't want
Speaker 2: to turn them off at night time, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: that's going to burn the house down. That thirty dollars
Speaker 2: Christmas tree from Kmart.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't trust it. We turn hours off. Masy comes
Speaker 1: down the stays first thing the morning she turns back on.
Speaker 2: It's probably not the right time to tell you Ash
Speaker 2: as well that if you are on the Gold Coast
Speaker 2: and you do want to get into the festive spirit
Speaker 2: with Carrols on the beach, oh yes, on December seventeenth.
Speaker 2: It's a Sunday, it's free.
Speaker 1: You're not good enough to host the Sydney Ones? Is
Speaker 1: that what the deal is?
Speaker 2: The Sydney Ones. The Sydney Ones aren't is good?
Speaker 1: The Domain ones? You tell me I've been to.
Speaker 2: It's crap.
Speaker 1: It's a night minute go there isn't it.
Speaker 2: It's a nightmare. Where's this? One's on the beach surface,
Speaker 2: Paradise Beach, So you've got to swim in you got Yeah,
Speaker 2: you can be catching as you're singing like rid Off
Speaker 2: the Red Nose Reindeer or whatever song that is. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: when is it December seventeenth?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to
Speaker 2: force this upon you because I know what kind of
Speaker 2: childhood you had.
Speaker 1: Carry on like, it's really traumatic. She'd have seen her
Speaker 1: around Halloween Jesus.
Speaker 2: Just an idea, mate, let it marinate.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go, okay, but you're going to go.
Speaker 1: You're going to host it. I'll be there with your
Speaker 1: beautiful long legged wife.
Speaker 2: So if you want to bring the kids along.
Speaker 1: No, okay, I'll get the rundown. We are actually on Saturday.
Speaker 1: We're recording this now in the lead up to that
Speaker 1: day where everyone's like, it's going to be like forty
Speaker 1: two degrees, five hundred degrees.
Speaker 2: Where are you going to be?
Speaker 1: Apparently that afternoon we're doing going an avalon for some
Speaker 1: Christmas carols. What against my will?
Speaker 2: That's gonna it's forty degree?
Speaker 1: I know, dude, you're telling me I've got to go
Speaker 1: to something I hate in the hottest day of the year.
Speaker 2: What about Mazie?
Speaker 1: What about it?
Speaker 2: She said?
Speaker 1: What about me?
Speaker 2: What about you?
Speaker 1: Really white that I'm concerned for that day?
Speaker 2: I've turned the kitchen light on and I've looked over
Speaker 2: and she's like, sizzling.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you turn the light off. She closed, speaking
Speaker 1: about Macy really quickly. Just on Macy, my perfect little
Speaker 1: girl has turned. She's turned on me. The terrible Two's right,
Speaker 1: you've got a two year old Osco wasn't bad in
Speaker 1: the two to three in Major sort of like he
Speaker 1: was just cheeky, cheeky talk back but not evil. Macy
Speaker 1: flat out evil.
Speaker 2: Why what has she done?
Speaker 1: The silent assassin? What hasn't she done? All of a
Speaker 1: sudden last week she starts hitting, hitting who whoever is
Speaker 1: in her way, anyone anything.
Speaker 2: She is so sweet. I've never heard a peep from
Speaker 2: her hitting.
Speaker 1: She bit April yesterday.
Speaker 2: Bit April. Yeah, well give me the give me the
Speaker 2: context of the bite.
Speaker 1: So she was trying to get to April while she
Speaker 1: was sitting like this. Yeah, she was like on her legs,
Speaker 1: but April was trying to do something else, and because
Speaker 1: she wasn't picking her up, bit her on the leg.
Speaker 2: How do you combat that the back?
Speaker 1: No, that's actually I've heard that. I've heard that. Tried
Speaker 1: to explain that to me, but I was like, don't
Speaker 1: you fucking bite a child right in front of me.
Speaker 1: I think she was like pretending like he's gonna think
Speaker 1: it's a game, like.
Speaker 2: The other week when I farted on Marley. When she
Speaker 2: fighted on me, Hey, I have not been fighted on
Speaker 2: since yet.
Speaker 1: Not probably when you're fast asleep because you never wake
Speaker 1: up for anything. We squatted over your mouth and gone,
Speaker 1: come on, come on cop that dad. Hitting anybody anything
Speaker 1: in their way. Oscar especially is her favorite hit biting.
Speaker 1: I've caught her trying to bite Oscar. She also does
Speaker 1: this thing where she will not take no France will not.
Speaker 1: So she was like strumming my guitar in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: I was like, don't touch it, trying to be gentle,
Speaker 1: like don't just like, don't move her away, you know,
Speaker 1: tap her on the hands like no, no, no, turn around.
Speaker 2: You beat your child?
Speaker 1: Cut that. Yeah, then like didn't listen, wouldn't listen, kept
Speaker 1: turning around, shaking her head, tell her to get out
Speaker 1: of the kitchen. She's just shaking her head, smiling and
Speaker 1: shaking her head.
Speaker 2: Evil.
Speaker 1: And then the other day this is the worst. So
Speaker 1: first of all, she was me, her and Oscar were
Speaker 1: all in bed and like she was kicking him and
Speaker 1: he's like stop and I'm like, stop kicking. So she
Speaker 1: leans over, grabs his hair like this right, doesn't move
Speaker 1: for those at home, hands still got a fistful of
Speaker 1: his fucking hair. Fistful, and I go, don't. She smiles
Speaker 1: back at me. Yanks it right, down to the like
Speaker 1: the mattress on the bed, and he just screams, and
Speaker 1: she's like lockjaw like a staffy. I cannot get the
Speaker 1: hair out of her hand. And she's smiling back at
Speaker 1: me like I've heard of like when dogs get lockjoy
Speaker 1: got to shove hose up their ass. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what to do. Eventually, after my voice has gone to ten, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I was like, where has my perfect little child gone?
Speaker 2: She's just got to you just gotta write it out.
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: Actually gonna sell her on Facebook? Marketplane? How much cheap?
Speaker 1: Take her? Get her out of the house.
Speaker 2: She's a picture.
Speaker 1: She's so sweet. She'll come up and give your kids
Speaker 1: on the cheek afterwards, and you're like.
Speaker 2: It's weird that she's abusing your son with a smile
Speaker 2: on her face.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's psychotic. She's fucking evil.
Speaker 2: Because Marley, when she has a tantrum, she she does
Speaker 2: it in full tantrum mode. Like it's weird, isn't it
Speaker 2: how one goes one way and the other goes opposite.
Speaker 2: We don't really have the evil side of Lola. She's
Speaker 2: just like a big old like Marshmallow who's funny and cheeky.
Speaker 2: Where is Marley? Like even now? Like last night did
Speaker 2: were at the RSL having a beautiful dinner. Everyone's having
Speaker 2: a great time. Laura's sister's there, her family chicken pump
Speaker 2: and I had the steak Ritzy and Marley was flipping out,
Speaker 2: like I'm talking chairs across the room. I took her
Speaker 2: shoes off, loved her shoes across the room as well.
Speaker 2: Wrong with them because she couldn't play the Pokey's.
Speaker 1: She's like the Bricki's laptop.
Speaker 2: She's like, I want to play the games. And I
Speaker 2: was like, there are adult games and.
Speaker 1: She's like, what they call it New Zealand Nana's laptop
Speaker 1: or something, Nana's piano. I don't know, something like that.
Speaker 1: But what's wrong with them?
Speaker 2: It's just, you know, you put it perfectly, And a
Speaker 2: lot of people were like, I agree. When you're like,
Speaker 2: they're just drunk.
Speaker 1: It's like owning a drunk person. Yeah, they seriously don't
Speaker 1: make any sense. They blabber, they can barely walk straight,
Speaker 1: and then they keep at the end of it, they'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh so much, man, it's the worst. Another
Speaker 1: thing makes he's doing is going to sleep and then
Speaker 1: shitting herself. That is the worst.
Speaker 2: It is so annoying.
Speaker 1: It's like performing minor surgery to like s don't wake
Speaker 1: her up? Do you wait down there.
Speaker 2: With a torch in my mouth, slowly trying to likewly trying.
Speaker 1: To surgically remove a fucking nugget from her and then
Speaker 1: wrapping her back up without awaken up.
Speaker 2: It's painful. I'm sorry going through this. I want to
Speaker 2: say it gets better, but it doesn't. Talking about random
Speaker 2: behavior that laid on me that we're trying to figure out.
Speaker 2: Last week we spoke about your friend who had a
Speaker 2: child that, yes, bang their head against the mattress whenever
Speaker 2: they went to bed, the head banger. They went to
Speaker 2: the doctor. Doctor said that it's fine, they'll grow out
Speaker 2: of there.
Speaker 1: Several doctors.
Speaker 2: We've had a lot of messages come through. Firstly, a
Speaker 2: lot of people who grew up as headbangers and now
Speaker 2: they're adults. They say they're totally fine. Hard to read
Speaker 2: the message.
Speaker 1: Mistakes, that's what they say.
Speaker 2: They said that they did it just as a way
Speaker 2: of comor fitting themselves. But I've got a few others.
Speaker 2: There's one here from Emma. She says she loves the pod.
Speaker 1: Thanks.
Speaker 2: She's a final year medical student. But she says, but
Speaker 2: obviously this is not advice, because we never give advice.
Speaker 2: She says it's quite common in young kids as a
Speaker 2: way to self soothed. So she said, her dad, you
Speaker 2: said it as a kid. But she also says it's
Speaker 2: a type of stimming, like a repetitive motion that is
Speaker 2: particularly common with autistic children. And apparently ash twenty percent
Speaker 2: of kids do this.
Speaker 1: Twenty percent of kids bang their head against the mattress
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yep, So nothing to be overly concerned about. In
Speaker 2: case there are people listening that.
Speaker 1: Look, the couple that are my friends that gave me this,
Speaker 1: they're not overly concerned. They've been to doctors. They're like, look,
Speaker 1: she's fine, she'll grow out of it. And apparently she
Speaker 1: was doing it at Kinney too, and then she stopped
Speaker 1: doing it at Kindy right, and then after a few
Speaker 1: weeks went back to doing it. Interesting, very interesting.
Speaker 2: I mean, well, this case is not closed. No, we
Speaker 2: will keep this open.
Speaker 1: We'll keep this open.
Speaker 2: Be warned. I guess I don't want to encourage other
Speaker 2: people to give us any type of question that requires
Speaker 2: medical advice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was like, oh, why not first just see.
Speaker 2: Because it came from a friend of yours.
Speaker 1: Act, don't send me pictures of your kids or videos
Speaker 1: of your kids doing something like actually, why do they
Speaker 1: do this? Because it'll be ignored, deleted unless it's really funny. Matt,
Speaker 1: it is time for the last time.
Speaker 2: This year makes me upset when we say that, yes,
Speaker 2: a little bit emotional for ordinary pairent.
Speaker 1: We desid in their repair, ordinary repair. We don't know
Speaker 1: what we do. We don't know what we're doing because
Speaker 1: we're repair man. There's a segment where people send in
Speaker 1: their ordinary pair stories. We've been doing this for the
Speaker 1: back end of the year. This is the last one.
Speaker 1: This is the last two hundred dollars worth of budget
Speaker 1: smoking gear we are going to give out. But at
Speaker 1: the end of this segment there is something else that
Speaker 1: we are willing to offer. Correct, So let's just get
Speaker 1: to it. Let me read you my one please, and
Speaker 1: then you can give me what you've got ash.
Speaker 2: That sounds like a great plan.
Speaker 1: That was the wellly constructed sentence that a man is Okay.
Speaker 1: This one comes from Nadia and it says, I make
Speaker 1: my son what I want for breakfast. I e yoga
Speaker 1: granola bowl sounds good. Then she gives it straight to
Speaker 1: him her child, which is what she wants, which is
Speaker 1: what she wants. Correct, And then she makes my breakfast
Speaker 1: aka wheat bigs, which of of course is their child's breakfast,
Speaker 1: and then starts to eat that, and within seconds he
Speaker 1: tries to switch it because he always wants to eat
Speaker 1: what I mean. Yes, So they did say, look, this
Speaker 1: is more of an ordinary parenting hack.
Speaker 2: It's brilliant.
Speaker 1: That's great. It's a good idea.
Speaker 2: Every time whenever I make for Lola, doesn't matter what
Speaker 2: I've got, she could have neutral gain, which he loves.
Speaker 2: As soon as I have anything in a bowl, She's like,
Speaker 2: give me that right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, give it to me right now. I find that.
Speaker 1: And I had this conversation with my mate yesterday. He
Speaker 1: was like, I go, what are you up to you guys?
Speaker 1: I'm just watching my kids eat younner. He goes, I
Speaker 1: can't believe they're eating it. I was like, I know,
Speaker 1: I like put so much effort into their food. The
Speaker 1: other day when they sat like kids sit down at dinner,
Speaker 1: he comes in, I just put empty plates in front
Speaker 1: of them to see what would happen that were fine,
Speaker 1: that were content, and I was like what. I was
Speaker 1: just like not interested, and then question and I was like, nah,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. And I rang their food over to
Speaker 1: them and I was like, get out of my fucking house.
Speaker 1: What have you got from me, Matt? Okay, this one
Speaker 1: is usually is strong.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's uh.
Speaker 1: There are any dicks in this any lube.
Speaker 2: No lube no. So last week's was a cracker.
Speaker 1: That's a great. Yeah, that's the best one.
Speaker 2: But this one is very good. It's ordinary adhd ooh, topical, topical,
Speaker 2: so Abby says. My husband is usually mister dependable. He
Speaker 2: literally never drops the ball when it comes to the kids.
Speaker 1: God tongue.
Speaker 2: Their eldest has ADHD and he's always losing stuff so
Speaker 2: mainly his drink bottle is Jumpers, et cetera. He gets
Speaker 2: it all and in a rare moment of negligence from.
Speaker 1: The dad, well said, thank you.
Speaker 2: He has forgotten to pack the son's lunchbox.
Speaker 1: Another another one happens to the.
Speaker 2: Best of us. So we sent the kid out to school,
Speaker 2: realized that he's forgotten the lunch box. However, given his
Speaker 2: track record, you did not want to be tarnished. He's
Speaker 2: called the school and let's just say the kid's called Timmy.
Speaker 1: Did you call him Timmy?
Speaker 2: Seriously, let's call him let's call him Sam nice. He's
Speaker 2: caught up the school and said, hey, Sam, you know
Speaker 2: he's not very reliable. He's forgotten his lunch box and
Speaker 2: I just want to say that, like I apologize.
Speaker 1: So he's flat out of his blame.
Speaker 2: He's got the ADHD unfortunately, Yeah, it's you know, it happens.
Speaker 2: So he said, I'm just going to order from the
Speaker 2: Touch shop, so please let Sam know go hungry exactly,
Speaker 2: and Sam didn't even question it apparently when they were like,
Speaker 2: oh Sam, because you forgot your lunch box, you got
Speaker 2: touch shops?
Speaker 1: Okay, what so okay, So let me the chain of
Speaker 1: events here. He's been left to make the lunch, didn't
Speaker 1: make the or did make lunch, we don't know, didn't
Speaker 1: send the kid with lunch, then rings up the school
Speaker 1: to blame his kid for forgetting the lunch.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's great. Oh god, well, Abby, mister dependable has
Speaker 2: gotten you tilder bucks worth a buddy smuggling.
Speaker 1: Still dependable, but also he blanches kids for most of
Speaker 1: the things that suck up.
Speaker 2: Congratulations. What was the other thing we have to offer? Ash? Yes,
Speaker 2: so this is red hot, hot off the press.
Speaker 1: Hot off the press being Christmas being summer. Okay, why
Speaker 1: not go out get yourself a fresh pair of budgies,
Speaker 1: maybe some matching budgies with the whole family, because they
Speaker 1: come in women's, men's, kids, even dogs now have leads.
Speaker 1: Why not? Or if you want to treat your dad,
Speaker 1: there's some tinny holders.
Speaker 2: Can I just say Marley and Lola love love their
Speaker 2: little leg watermelon ones. Yeah, the pineapple ones they've got
Speaker 2: like three.
Speaker 1: Now, they've got heaps, heaps, heaps heaps matching. Get it
Speaker 1: done with our twenty percent discount sight wide?
Speaker 2: Should I do it?
Speaker 4: And they're like, we've gone crazy here at two dining dads,
Speaker 4: dog leashes, kids, swimwear, even mom and dad's budget smugglers,
Speaker 4: they're all going to race out the door.
Speaker 1: Twenty percent of sales, sales, sale, everything must go.
Speaker 2: Buddy, Smuggler's closing down.
Speaker 1: So the code will be No, they're not sorry. All
Speaker 1: the employees a budge going, oh my god, is how
Speaker 1: you're telling what's happened? Just fight everyone? Fact. So let's
Speaker 1: treat yourself. It is. The code is actually valid until
Speaker 1: Christmas Eve. So if you want that last minute present,
Speaker 1: it is two doting dads is the code, will leave
Speaker 1: it in the show not.
Speaker 2: And do you know what the most exciting thing is? Ah?
Speaker 2: Well that twenty nine bark calendar. Oh hang on.
Speaker 1: So we're going to lose more money. Great?
Speaker 2: Fuck, I'm just so stupid.
Speaker 1: Do you want to know what the difference is? So
Speaker 1: we want to know? Take six dollars off a chair.
Speaker 2: All right, mister smarty pants.
Speaker 1: It's not exactly not bad.
Speaker 2: But'son who dropped out of school? Fifteen six dollars off?
Speaker 2: So twenty three bars for the calendar.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. So plus maybe add fifty dollars make some
Speaker 1: money back. But anyway, that's it for that segment for
Speaker 1: this year. We'll leave you with that discount code. Share
Speaker 1: it to whoever you like, enjoy. If you want to
Speaker 1: buy me some, go for it. But let's move on now.
Speaker 1: Two questions.
Speaker 2: A couple of questions before we wrap up this episode.
Speaker 1: This is in our final episode for the year, but
Speaker 1: it's a final segment of ordinary parents might do something special.
Speaker 1: Next week we'll come up with something that.
Speaker 2: We should do. Okay, for next week's episode, do it naked.
Speaker 2: I want to know best meltdowns?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, send us your best meltdown.
Speaker 2: So, for example, from today's episode, Marley not being able
Speaker 2: to play the Pokey's at the rsl L.
Speaker 1: That's a random one too, I mean, I get it
Speaker 1: the lights. Next, you'd be like I wanted to bet
Speaker 1: on that miss the jump just over there on the
Speaker 1: dish liquors.
Speaker 2: What's the dish lickuer dogs?
Speaker 1: You'll get there.
Speaker 2: Okay, listen the questions, Ash, I've got one here. This
Speaker 2: one is from Shannon Shan. Shout out to Shannon.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Shan.
Speaker 2: She wants to know, Ash, is it difficult managing sending
Speaker 2: your boy oscar to two different daycares for example, like
Speaker 2: friends and cares, et cetera. Do you have any tips?
Speaker 2: Have tips like why do you send your boys to
Speaker 2: two different daycares?
Speaker 1: Idea? Actually, we should probably call my wife. Should be
Speaker 1: my wife, Okay.
Speaker 2: Let's call it. But if we ask her to be
Speaker 2: on the pode, you'll say no.
Speaker 1: So we'll just pretend that we're just chatting, so she
Speaker 1: knows that we're recording today. But we'll just give a.
Speaker 2: Call and we'll just put it on. Hold her up
Speaker 2: to the microphone.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, let's do that. Hi, Hey, how you go on?
Speaker 2: Are you good?
Speaker 1: Good? Hey? Sorry to bully. That quick question that's actually
Speaker 1: asked me a really important question and I don't know
Speaker 1: the ANSWER's sect standard. Why do we send Oscar to
Speaker 1: two different daycares?
Speaker 2: Because they're two different ones a preschool and one's a daycare?
Speaker 1: Okay, is there any other better? And I think I
Speaker 1: think preschool?
Speaker 2: He it's pretty much like setting him up for school.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's not cheaper or something.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's also free. Why it's free?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: They have some ever since COVID they announced like some
Speaker 2: funding thing and you get two three.
Speaker 1: Days of pre school.
Speaker 2: So April, can you not keep them at that that
Speaker 2: one for the whole time?
Speaker 1: No, they're not. You can only do two days a week.
Speaker 1: Is that right?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 2: The one his favorite one? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Favorite. I don't need this, but yeah, so that's the.
Speaker 4: Thing that he can.
Speaker 1: Then like they have a two day program.
Speaker 2: For three to four year olds and then the three
Speaker 2: day program for the four to five year olds.
Speaker 1: Yes, I didn't know any.
Speaker 2: Of any of this, and that's why he can only
Speaker 2: go make them three days and it's yeah, basically like
Speaker 2: just fitting them up for school.
Speaker 1: I thought they just said that. I don't want to
Speaker 1: deal with him more than two days.
Speaker 2: Quick question before she goes, April, Sorry, is it a
Speaker 2: night there? Having two daycares like adjusting to two different spots,
Speaker 2: not at all.
Speaker 1: Well, you're not the one going to two different daycas.
Speaker 1: He's sometimes sometimes he likes one more than the other.
Speaker 1: I propose one over the other, So getting in to
Speaker 1: go to the second one is a bit of right pain,
Speaker 1: but it is what it is. I d reckon. He
Speaker 1: says that, all right, thank you, thanks April, all right,
Speaker 1: bye bye.
Speaker 2: Well there you go.
Speaker 1: There you have it. But there's the answer now tips
Speaker 1: and tricks.
Speaker 2: Well, if you got to ask of that, oh fuck,
Speaker 2: go back. No is it hard for you doing drop off?
Speaker 1: It is for like the back end of the week,
Speaker 1: because he loves the first and front of the week
Speaker 1: because they're all older kids and it's more of a
Speaker 1: like a I don't know, it feels like a little
Speaker 1: community of that age kid. Okay, then the other one
Speaker 1: there's younger kids, you know, And.
Speaker 2: He does the front end of the week. At the
Speaker 2: daycare that he.
Speaker 1: Like the preschool, right, and then he got daycare.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how do you manage the friends scenario? I guess
Speaker 2: he's not really doing like playdates, is he.
Speaker 1: Well, we haven't had a birthday yet, so yeah. Look
Speaker 1: in the first one, he's got his clique friends that
Speaker 1: we hang out with all the time anyway. The other one,
Speaker 1: who's got one or two friends that he's like excited
Speaker 1: to see when he gets there. If they're not there,
Speaker 1: it's difficult. And sometimes there's a little bit of cross
Speaker 1: pollination that one of the kids that he goes to
Speaker 1: and the other one also goes to this.
Speaker 2: One cross pollination.
Speaker 1: And when the bees came flying and sorry, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I would.
Speaker 2: Say hanging out with knowing those kind of words.
Speaker 1: That's I watched the Bee movie. Yes, actually great movie.
Speaker 1: Also Jerry Sunfeld's coming out.
Speaker 2: I watched Bee Movie as well. Did you graphics are
Speaker 2: a bit shit? Also, it's weird that he's got the
Speaker 2: hots for a woman. Sorry, we're going on a massive tangent.
Speaker 2: Was put this back on track?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Wow, it's weird that they can talk. Ah.
Speaker 2: Yes, do we have time for a quick question?
Speaker 1: Any tips I've got bribe, bribe, bribe, and the bride
Speaker 1: doesn't work, threaten them. Okay. Next question, something a little
Speaker 1: bit different for this one. Usually I'll ask you a question,
Speaker 1: but I've got two really rapid fire questions from two
Speaker 1: randoms that have come through on the d First one,
Speaker 1: it's obviously about parenting. It's not just about life. Well,
Speaker 1: it could be about life either that you decide yes.
Speaker 1: First question is it expensive?
Speaker 2: Ah? Yes? Like horrendous?
Speaker 1: Okay, enough said. Does it get any better?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Okay, that's all good time for Thank you for the honesty, Matt.
Speaker 1: If you've liked this episode, please feel free review, send
Speaker 1: it to a friend, like, subscribe, follow us on Instagram,
Speaker 1: Keep an eye out for this calendar and Matt's pubes.
Speaker 2: Yes, keep an eye out for the month of June.
Speaker 1: June specifically.
Speaker 2: I now look at that photo and realize that why
Speaker 2: didn't the photographer Mel, Why don't you say, hey, you
Speaker 2: got your samtar. But if you do have any listener
Speaker 2: questions as well, be mindful that Ash and I don't
Speaker 2: like to give any type of medical advice, so keep
Speaker 2: those ones to the professional. Have a crack, but anything
Speaker 2: else send them away.
Speaker 1: Yes, we have one more episode this year.
Speaker 2: Yes, what a year?
Speaker 1: What a what a year? And some sad news. Matt,
Speaker 1: this will be my last episode of Two Learning Dads
Speaker 1: this year. No waon't no, damn it, I fucked that up.
Speaker 1: I was going to try and get another crack at that.
Speaker 1: Na okay, I just think it. But anyway, Yes, the
Speaker 1: last episode next week will be recording. Get your questions
Speaker 1: in if you've got some good ones. Look, I'll take
Speaker 1: the metaphor ones for Christmas. If yours kids stuck a
Speaker 1: stuck an ornament? Other bum I want to know about.
Speaker 2: It's the guys next week.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
Speaker 1: Island the people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagle
Speaker 1: Land