WEBVTT - Ask Me Anything with Dr Amantha Imber: From burnout to boundaries 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:03.680 Today, I have something a little bit different, but it's 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:07.240 also something I'm going to be doing more regularly. It's 0:00:07.280 --> 0:00:10.440 an Ask Me Anything episode where I am here to 0:00:10.520 --> 0:00:15.120 answer listener questions. Today we're going to be covering everything 0:00:15.240 --> 0:00:18.960 from how I recovered from burnout through to my thoughts 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:24.120 on meditation and how I politely push back on demands 0:00:24.160 --> 0:00:27.639 for my time. Oh and also the dating app that 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:30.639 I use to find my fiance because yes, that was 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:38.080 sent through to me as a listener question. Welcome to 0:00:38.200 --> 0:00:42.040 How I Work, a show about habits, rituals, and strategies 0:00:42.120 --> 0:00:46.720 for optimizing your date. I'm your host, doctor Amantha imber So. 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:49.640 The first question for this Ask Me Anything comes from 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:53.640 Christian and Christian asks if you got distracted due to 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:57.560 a mind overload like company, health status, family affairs, how 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:02.440 do you get out of that? Well, Christian, I've been 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:08.880 in this mind state quite frequently, particularly in twenty twenty four, 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:13.760 and what I find makes the biggest difference is writing 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:17.200 everything down. I literally make a list, and then what 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:19.480 I do with that list is that I add rough 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:23.440 timings to each item on the list. How much time 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:27.920 will this thing take me? Because what our brains often 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:32.640 do is they get quite overwhelmed. They build this really 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:37.920 big list, and it's really easy to overestimate how long 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:41.319 all these things will take. And so I find if 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:44.760 I can contain it, which making a list absolutely does. 0:01:44.840 --> 0:01:48.240 It contains things to being on a physical or digital 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:51.320 sheet of paper, and then I can add rough timings 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:54.760 and that will generally give me a sense of reassurance 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:57.360 to go, Okay, I can get through everything that I 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:00.760 need to get through and hit all my deadlines. What 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:02.559 I've started to do as a bit of a ritual 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:05.080 is at the beginning of each month, I will think 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:09.120 about what are my top priorities for this month, generally 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:11.640 like what are those big bits of deep work that 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:16.239 I really need to get done, And I will make 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:19.600 a list, put timings against each one, and I will 0:02:19.600 --> 0:02:23.160 continually come back to that list throughout the month. And 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:28.960 I've found that that makes the massive difference. Next question 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:34.720 is from Vadotus. I hope I've pronounced that correctly. So 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:39.720 the question is meditation effects on work life balance? What 0:02:39.840 --> 0:02:43.079 does that do? And is having a nap in the 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:44.920 middle of the day good for managing. 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:45.640 Stress at work? 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:50.840 Okay, So look, I have never really been able to 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:54.520 get into meditation. I've tried it many times. Although my 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.200 good friends Sarah Grinberg and Lisa Leong, who've both been 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:01.960 on this show, still I'm only convincing me to, you know, 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:03.639 maybe make it a bit of a habit or think 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:06.919 about it differently. What I have done, though, for most 0:03:06.919 --> 0:03:10.560 of my life is I've used hypnosis. So I grew 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:14.440 up with a mum who is still a clinical psychologist, 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:20.440 and she specializes in hypnosis. She uh trains fellow medical 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:24.760 professionals in using hypnosis, And so for me, hypnosis was 0:03:24.760 --> 0:03:27.120 never something that I just thought about as what they 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:29.640 do on the Scooby Doo and they you know, wave 0:03:29.720 --> 0:03:31.560 the medallion in front of people to send them to 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:35.720 sleep and turn them into chickens. Hypnosis was actually a 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:39.200 tool that I, you know, you heard about my mum 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:43.000 using all the time, and I experienced from quite an 0:03:43.040 --> 0:03:47.080 early age as well. And the way I think about hypnosis, 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:53.120 where you're essentially getting someone into a state that feels 0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:55.560 like a kind of dream like state, I guess certainly 0:03:55.680 --> 0:04:01.440 a very relaxed state, not dissimilar to meditation. During hypnosis, 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:04.920 the person doing the hypnosis will be making suggestions in 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:07.800 terms of the purpose of the hypnosis. Often in my 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:11.280 mum's practice, she works a lot with oncology patients, so 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.520 often the hypnosis is to help with pain management. But 0:04:14.560 --> 0:04:16.240 for me, I've used it for all sorts of things, 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.360 particularly high stress situations like if I've got a high 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.920 stakes presentation that I'm making. 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:23.120 For example, I will. 0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:27.440 Often use hypnosis to just calm my nerves and give 0:04:27.480 --> 0:04:29.920 suggestions to my mind that I will be in a 0:04:29.960 --> 0:04:34.120 peak performance mode. So I think about hypnosis like meditation 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:38.040 on steroids, so that I guess has been my form 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:42.080 of meditation. I do also find jogging pretty good for 0:04:42.080 --> 0:04:45.799 getting me into a meditative state. Now, in terms of naps, 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:48.360 if you are someone that does not struggle to get 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:50.479 to sleep at night and stay asleep, so if you 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:53.880 don't have insomnia, naps, well, there's a whole lot of 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:58.480 great stuff about naps. Typically, what most sleep researchers would 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:06.359 recommend is don't nap for more than twenty minutes. So 0:05:06.600 --> 0:05:09.240 if I'm having a nap, I generally don't nap, but 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:13.040 occasionally I do. And I generally don't nap because I 0:05:13.040 --> 0:05:15.680 have struggled with insomnia. Is I will set an alarm 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:17.799 for thirty minutes from when I lie down in bed, 0:05:18.279 --> 0:05:20.240 and I know that it will probably take me a 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:22.159 few minutes to get to sleep. So at the thirty 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:24.000 minute mark, I know that I haven't gone into a 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:26.520 deep sleep. I'm not going to have that groggy feeling, 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:31.880 and that is the best kind of nap to have. Okay, 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:39.159 let's move on to the next question. So from anonymous, Okay, 0:05:39.200 --> 0:05:44.040 I'm currently participating in your Thrive Protocol program and loving it. 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:46.880 And FYI, that is a program that we run at 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:50.719 Inventium to help drive well being, resilience and productivity. So 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:53.760 if that is a thing in your organizations, do reach out, 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.760 get in touch. So what is on my mind this 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:59.760 week is creating healthy boundaries and being able to politely 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:03.320 put pish back on requests, demands, expectations by people who 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:06.279 can be very persistent and won't take no for an answer. 0:06:08.080 --> 0:06:10.160 So that is the gist of the question. That's a 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:10.880 little bit more there. 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:17.240 But what I would recommend here is a strategy that 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:19.359 I've heard from a few people. One of those people 0:06:19.400 --> 0:06:23.880 was Nicky Sparshot, who she is at Unilever. She used 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:27.120 to head up Unilever Australia. I believe she's now in 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:31.480 a global role. She has a strategy that she told 0:06:31.480 --> 0:06:35.039 me about called yes but and I love this strategy. 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.400 So when we get some sort of a request for 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:40.440 our time, I mean, for me, I'm quite good at 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:43.320 saying no, but I understand that sometimes this is not 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:45.360 a thing that you can do, particularly when you're in 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:49.440 the system of a large organization. So yes but involves 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:54.200 saying yes but putting some constraints around your answer. So 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:56.159 let me give you an example, because I did actually 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:59.159 use this strategy a few weeks ago with a client 0:06:59.200 --> 0:07:02.760 of ours, in Ventium, who asked me if I would 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:07.719 do I think the request was for like a forty 0:07:07.760 --> 0:07:12.440 five minute presentation or like fireside chat Q and A 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:17.320 with a large group of their employees. But they didn't 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:19.240 have a budget, and normally I charged money for that 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:22.160 kind of thing. But I wanted to help them. We've 0:07:22.200 --> 0:07:25.800 been doing work with them, and you know, we plan 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:27.360 to continue that relationship. 0:07:27.520 --> 0:07:29.040 So I said yes. 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:32.200 But so I said yes, I can absolutely do a 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:35.480 Q and A, but it can only be fifteen minutes. 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:38.800 I'm very happy to do that just as a gesture 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:43.160 of goodwill for our relationship, and my client was really 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.680 happy I was able to deliver a lot of value 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:49.960 in that fifteen minutes, but I still set a clear boundary. 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:55.240 So yes, but is an excellent tool. Let's see our 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:59.960 next question here. How do you navigate making organizational change 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:04.680 remaining committed to continuous improvement when you're relying on busy 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:11.160 colleagues making time for the collaboration. Mm, well, I I'm 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:12.560 not the best person at doing this. 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.280 Generally, I will just push forward with. 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:17.280 The change that I want to make and actually forget 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:20.080 to take people along for the journey, which is something 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:21.920 I am trying to work on. 0:08:22.680 --> 0:08:25.560 What though, I have found it's been quite a good tool. 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:30.600 Bit old fashioned, but doing a good old racy r 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:33.480 AC I So if you haven't come across racy, racy 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:37.320 is really great for setting roles clearly at the start 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:43.000 of a project. RACY stands for responsible, accountable, consulted, and informed. 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:44.840 There are a few different models like this, but I 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:49.000 like the racing. So these four roles are the things 0:08:49.080 --> 0:08:52.440 that you think about at the start of the project. 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:55.560 So who is responsible, who is actually responsible for doing 0:08:55.600 --> 0:09:00.480 the work? Who is ultimately accountable? Like if the project fails, 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:04.760 who is the person that is actually going to be 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:09.680 accountable for what happens. Who is consulted along the journey, 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:13.120 like who do we collaborate with a little bit, and 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:16.680 who is simply informed? And this is a really key 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:21.400 distinction because often we can confuse informed for consulted and 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:23.480 informed are just people that we just need to communicate with, 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:26.880 keep them updated along the journey of the project. So 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:31.160 if we can define this upfront, we can we can 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:37.439 circumvent a lot of unnecessary collaboration. If you like, next question, 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:40.600 how do you set up a nurturing environment for those 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.160 on your team with neurodiverse brains so that they can 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:46.280 be set up for success in the workplace? 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:48.200 Good question? 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:51.559 So you know what they say, if you've met one 0:09:51.600 --> 0:09:55.400 person with ADHD, you've met one person with ADHD. I 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:59.559 think this is so important. Trying to group neurodiverse brains 0:09:59.600 --> 0:10:03.679 into the one bucket is a big mistake. So the 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:06.840 best thing that you can do is just ask them, 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:12.080 ask them, like what do you need? But other than 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:15.640 asking them, I would say, one easy thing to start 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:18.640 thinking about, well not necessarily easy, but one thing to 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:22.880 start thinking about is the sensory environment. So a lot 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:28.720 of neurodiverse brains are quite sensitive to things like loud noises, 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:32.559 bright lights, lots of chit chat and interruptions. 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:35.240 The brains just don't like that. 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.160 So think about what is the physical environment that you 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:42.800 have set up for your teammates at work, particularly where 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:45.040 it's in your control, Like what is the lighting light? 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:46.680 Can people adjust the lighting? 0:10:47.600 --> 0:10:50.920 You know, bright lights, generally speaking, are not great for 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:52.040 neurodiverse brains. 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:55.959 Lots of noise not great. Can you set up quiet zones. 0:10:55.760 --> 0:11:01.360 Or quiet pods where people with differently fired brains can 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:03.840 go to get away from the noise. They are certainly 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.520 some good things to start thinking about initially. 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:09.240 Also, we have a bunch. 0:11:09.080 --> 0:11:12.280 Of different tools that we use to help to help 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.680 with collaboration and just getting the most out of all 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:17.080 sorts of brains. So one of those tools that we 0:11:17.200 --> 0:11:19.719 teach to a lot of our clients at Inventium is 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:23.920 a tool called shifting. So shifting involves in any kind 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:27.199 of a meeting where you're asking for people's thoughts or inputs, 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:29.760 which is hopefully any kind of a meeting because ideally 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:34.160 you're not using meetings just for information sharing. Is getting 0:11:34.160 --> 0:11:37.000 people to think about the question. 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:38.040 Or the problem on their own. 0:11:38.160 --> 0:11:41.680 First, give them five to ten minutes and then shift 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.439 back as a group, taken in turns to share your 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:47.720 thoughts and then build on each other's thoughts, and then 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:50.960 you can repeat and repeat and repeat for however many 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:53.680 times that you want. That's a tool called shifting that 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:57.400 we find is very good because typically how most meetings 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.160 and brainstorms are run is that they're set up to 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.559 really favor people that are highly extroverted and great at 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.360 thinking on the spot, which is really the minority of us. 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.679 So a good way to take into account all our 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.600 different brains is to give people time to think on 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.679 their own and then take it in turns to share 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:23.920 as a group. We will be back soon with strategies 0:12:23.920 --> 0:12:32.679 that I personally used to help recover from burnout. Okay, 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:36.240 this is a very specific question, and this comes off 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.000 the back of one of the newsletters that I recently shared, 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:44.559 which I think was titled my three non negotiables for 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:47.600 health Habits or something like that. If you don't sign up, 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.160 if you don't get my newsletter, there is a link 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:53.440 in the show notes. So I did talk about how 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:57.160 one of my non negotiables is having twenty to thirty grams, 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.720 not that I'm actually using scales to measure things, although 0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:01.440 I have done in the past, but you know, I 0:13:01.480 --> 0:13:04.760 can eyeball things and know how much protein I'm having. 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:07.000 So I do that with every meal. 0:13:06.840 --> 0:13:10.040 Because that is a huge, huge benefit and has a 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.400 huge impact on blood gluecose levels, which you want to 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:15.040 try and have as stable as possible throughout the day 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:19.920 for your energy levels. So the question is from Kelly 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:24.400 regarding your protein powered meals. If cereal is off the 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.880 table at breakfast, what is on the table? 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:27.800 Thanks? Okay. 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:32.560 So I typically have the same breakfast every single day. 0:13:33.280 --> 0:13:36.880 I'm a big fan of trying to reduce decisions wherever possible, 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.200 and deciding what to have for breakfast every day is 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:44.280 a decision that I try to remove from my life. 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:48.280 So what I have is I get one and you 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:52.360 might have seen these at your local supermarket. Is it's 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:56.960 like a big carton of pure egg whites. It's typically 0:13:57.000 --> 0:14:02.280 in the freezer section, and I defrost overnight and I 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:06.000 make myself an egg white omelet with spinach and tomato. 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:08.720 I make sure I use a good amount of olive 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:12.959 oil so I'm getting a good amount of healthy fats 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.920 as well, and if I'm not full after that I 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.640 will also have some yogurts, so thinking about, you know, 0:14:18.679 --> 0:14:21.120 making sure I've also got some fermented food good for 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:24.120 your gut, and also again just thinking about, you know, 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:28.320 a different source of protein and fats. So that is 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:33.800 my typical breakfast that I have almost every single day. Okay, 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:37.920 the next question is from Elise. When you're feeling overwhelmed, 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:38.760 what do you do? 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:40.200 How do you help yourself? 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:44.160 Oh? Man, I have played around with a lot of 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.960 different strategies because I feel like I spent a lot 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:52.000 of twenty twenty four and even parts of twenty twenty 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:57.760 three feeling quite overwhelmed about certain things. So the strategies 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:01.680 that have worked best for me. Firstly, cyclic sighing. If 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.120 you don't know what I'm talking about, Cyclic sighing is 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:09.560 a great breathing strategy to immediately calm your nervous system. 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:14.560 It involves taking a breath in I don't know if 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:16.680 you can hear that through the microphone, and then when 0:15:16.760 --> 0:15:18.760 you feel like you've taken a really big breath in, 0:15:19.080 --> 0:15:24.160 taking another quick breath in to really fill your lungs, 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:31.520 and then sighing out, so gradually sighing out through your 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:35.640 mouth and if you repeat that for five minutes. I 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.000 mean I would even do it just for one minute 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.120 and I would find a difference. But repeating that for 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:44.000 five minutes has been shown to really reduce that state 0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:47.600 of arousal and calm us down. So I reckon I 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:51.840 was doing that probably most days of twenty twenty four. 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:58.120 Another strategy that I find very helpful at Inventium we 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:03.360 call it scar sc is to firstly spot the stressor 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:07.280 s Spot the stressor, so identify what is the thing 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:11.120 that is making me stressed? Then see check your control, 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:14.120 So how much control do I have about this stressor 0:16:14.240 --> 0:16:16.400 is it something that I have direct control over? Is 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:19.600 it something that I can influence or is it something 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:20.840 that I have no control over? 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:24.040 And then a is accept or act. 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.520 So I will act if I have direct control or 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.600 some influence over and if I have no control over it, 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:33.480 which sadly is most of the stresses in our life, 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:36.680 I will try to accept it and not try to 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:41.680 change it. I use that a lot when I'm identifying stresses. 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:47.280 The final thing that I found very effective is making 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.480 a state change. So if for example, I'm at my 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:53.520 desk and I'm feeling stressed, a state change might be 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:56.800 going for a walk around the block, or it might 0:16:56.840 --> 0:17:02.160 be you know, more extreme, like water has very calming effects, 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:05.040 so maybe I'll just I'll jump in the shower. I 0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:09.399 remember when I was on holidays last year and I 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:11.000 was lucky enough to be staying at a place that 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:14.080 had a pool. I was having a really stressful day. 0:17:14.080 --> 0:17:16.080 I was meant to be on holidays, but I had 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.400 been hit with a couple of work emergencies. It got 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:21.879 me into quite a state of stress, which I was 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:26.600 trying to work through apply scar to SCA. But then 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:28.400 I just thought, I'm just going to go for a swim, 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:31.159 and I went for like a ten minute swim in 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:33.760 the pool, and by the time I was done in 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:37.399 the pool, my state how I was feeling had completely 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:41.439 changed and I was no longer feeling overwhelmed. So that 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:46.399 they are a few techniques on what I do. I 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.320 do also find actually hypnosis that I talked about earlier 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:53.280 is very very effective. Next question a bit of a 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:57.719 random one. After I heard you on the mid podcast. 0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:00.399 I want to know which app you found a knee on? 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:04.879 Who Neo is my fiance and the mid podcast is 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:08.119 by Mum and Me. I will put a link to 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.879 that in the show notes. It is a different kind 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:14.000 of interview that I gave where I talk about finding 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:17.960 love after getting divorced, which happened five and a half 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:20.879 years ago. Now, so how I met Neo. The app 0:18:21.359 --> 0:18:23.800 that I found Neo on was on Hinge. 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:26.440 There you go. That was over three years ago. 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:28.480 So I don't know what state Hinge is in now, 0:18:28.600 --> 0:18:32.440 but certainly at the time it was worked out well 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:36.960 for me and Neo. Okay, I'm interested in learning more 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:40.800 about professional jealousy and the impact is can have on 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.920 career growth and progression in organizations and how to deal 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:47.479 with this. Oh ah, that's such a meaty question, and 0:18:47.520 --> 0:18:49.800 you know what, I reckon. I might take that to 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:54.520 a future Ask Me Anything episode because I have so 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:56.879 much to say about that. I've thought so much about it, 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:00.600 you know, very quickly. I do try to think about 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:06.439 my own sort of my own goals and sense of 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:11.320 achievement for myself as just thinking about personal bests and 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:15.320 what can I do, because ultimately that there's always going 0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:18.400 to be people that we can do upwards. Comparisons too, 0:19:18.480 --> 0:19:20.680 in terms of social comparison theory, so people who are 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:22.800 doing better than us and we can also make downward 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:25.720 comparisons people that are doing worse than us. We're always 0:19:25.720 --> 0:19:27.879 going to have both in our life no matter where 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.880 we are. I do find that quite helpful to remember. 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:33.199 Funnily enough, it was a concept that I researched in 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:36.280 my honors thesis in psychology many many years ago. 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:38.240 But I reckon I'll get. 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:41.399 More into that in a future episode. But also I 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:45.000 do recommend checking out the interview that I did with 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:48.320 Sarah Greenberg that came out a week or two ago. 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:53.040 We do talk about some topics around that final question. 0:19:53.720 --> 0:19:54.560 I'm interested in. 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:57.720 Learning more about you recovering from burnout and what tools 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:00.679 you put into place to maintain this, especial considering your 0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:03.400 role as a business leader with a stressful schedule ongoing. 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:05.760 I'm finding this challenging in my own life, so would 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:07.440 love to hear from someone who has been through it 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:10.159 and continued to balance both a high performing role and 0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:15.400 a healthy, balanced life. Okay, great question, and again I'm 0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:19.520 gonna I'm gonna get into more content around this and 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:24.360 more strategies around this as the year progresses. But in short, 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:27.280 I made some small changes, like some of the things 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:31.520 that we've spoken about ay that I've spoken about cyclic siging, 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:34.879 applying scar state changes, They've all been things that have 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:39.720 worked incredibly well. I lean very heavily on my amazing 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:46.920 support networks, my partner NEO, my close friends, some of 0:20:47.000 --> 0:20:53.439 whom are in HR and offer particularly wise advice, you know, 0:20:53.480 --> 0:20:56.199 when it comes to all sorts of sort of people 0:20:56.280 --> 0:20:59.359 and culture and other kinds of you know, challenges that 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:03.959 I think pies a lot of leaders lives. My family 0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:07.440 are great, and also I've got some amazing peers who 0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:14.280 are also founder CEOs. So I leant heavily into support networks. 0:21:14.440 --> 0:21:18.199 And then I also asked myself this question a lot. 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:21.919 What part did I play in creating the circumstances that 0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:25.720 contributed to my burnout? You know, who did I attract 0:21:25.760 --> 0:21:28.760 into my life? Like, how was I complicit in that? 0:21:29.280 --> 0:21:32.240 What business decisions did I make? So I do think 0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:35.320 a lot about what do I need to own because 0:21:35.359 --> 0:21:37.679 I think it's very easy when you're burnt out to 0:21:37.760 --> 0:21:41.040 place the blame externally. So I will be expanding on 0:21:41.040 --> 0:21:44.960 those answers in future episodes. But that is it for 0:21:45.400 --> 0:21:49.159 today's Ask Me Anything episode. I hope you found it 0:21:49.280 --> 0:21:52.240 useful and if you have more questions that you would 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:55.679 like me to answer, Please drop me an email or 0:21:55.720 --> 0:21:59.080 you can find me on the socials. I love getting 0:21:59.119 --> 0:22:03.280 listener questions, so please send them through and I hope 0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:06.320 that you've taken at least one gem out of today's episode. 0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:10.280 If you like today's show, make sure you hit follow 0:22:10.359 --> 0:22:13.879 on your podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop. 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:16.920 How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of 0:22:16.960 --> 0:22:19.800 the warrangery people, part of the Cool And Nation. A 0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:22.399 big thank you to Martin Nimma for doing the sound mix.