1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Today, I have something a little bit different, but it's 2 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:07,240 Speaker 1: also something I'm going to be doing more regularly. It's 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 1: an Ask Me Anything episode where I am here to 4 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: answer listener questions. Today we're going to be covering everything 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,960 Speaker 1: from how I recovered from burnout through to my thoughts 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:24,120 Speaker 1: on meditation and how I politely push back on demands 7 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: for my time. Oh and also the dating app that 8 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,639 Speaker 1: I use to find my fiance because yes, that was 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: sent through to me as a listener question. Welcome to 10 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: How I Work, a show about habits, rituals, and strategies 11 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: for optimizing your date. I'm your host, doctor Amantha imber So. 12 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 1: The first question for this Ask Me Anything comes from 13 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: Christian and Christian asks if you got distracted due to 14 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: a mind overload like company, health status, family affairs, how 15 00:00:57,600 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: do you get out of that? Well, Christian, I've been 16 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: in this mind state quite frequently, particularly in twenty twenty four, 17 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 1: and what I find makes the biggest difference is writing 18 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:17,200 Speaker 1: everything down. I literally make a list, and then what 19 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 1: I do with that list is that I add rough 20 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,440 Speaker 1: timings to each item on the list. How much time 21 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: will this thing take me? Because what our brains often 22 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: do is they get quite overwhelmed. They build this really 23 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: big list, and it's really easy to overestimate how long 24 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,319 Speaker 1: all these things will take. And so I find if 25 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: I can contain it, which making a list absolutely does. 26 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: It contains things to being on a physical or digital 27 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: sheet of paper, and then I can add rough timings 28 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: and that will generally give me a sense of reassurance 29 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: to go, Okay, I can get through everything that I 30 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: need to get through and hit all my deadlines. What 31 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,559 Speaker 1: I've started to do as a bit of a ritual 32 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: is at the beginning of each month, I will think 33 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: about what are my top priorities for this month, generally 34 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: like what are those big bits of deep work that 35 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:16,239 Speaker 1: I really need to get done, And I will make 36 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: a list, put timings against each one, and I will 37 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: continually come back to that list throughout the month. And 38 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: I've found that that makes the massive difference. Next question 39 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: is from Vadotus. I hope I've pronounced that correctly. So 40 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: the question is meditation effects on work life balance? What 41 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,079 Speaker 1: does that do? And is having a nap in the 42 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 1: middle of the day good for managing. 43 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 2: Stress at work? 44 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: Okay, So look, I have never really been able to 45 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 1: get into meditation. I've tried it many times. Although my 46 00:02:54,919 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: good friends Sarah Grinberg and Lisa Leong, who've both been 47 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: on this show, still I'm only convincing me to, you know, 48 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,639 Speaker 1: maybe make it a bit of a habit or think 49 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,919 Speaker 1: about it differently. What I have done, though, for most 50 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 1: of my life is I've used hypnosis. So I grew 51 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: up with a mum who is still a clinical psychologist, 52 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 1: and she specializes in hypnosis. She uh trains fellow medical 53 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: professionals in using hypnosis, And so for me, hypnosis was 54 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: never something that I just thought about as what they 55 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: do on the Scooby Doo and they you know, wave 56 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: the medallion in front of people to send them to 57 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: sleep and turn them into chickens. Hypnosis was actually a 58 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: tool that I, you know, you heard about my mum 59 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: using all the time, and I experienced from quite an 60 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: early age as well. And the way I think about hypnosis, 61 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: where you're essentially getting someone into a state that feels 62 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: like a kind of dream like state, I guess certainly 63 00:03:55,680 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: a very relaxed state, not dissimilar to meditation. During hypnosis, 64 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,920 Speaker 1: the person doing the hypnosis will be making suggestions in 65 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: terms of the purpose of the hypnosis. Often in my 66 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: mum's practice, she works a lot with oncology patients, so 67 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: often the hypnosis is to help with pain management. But 68 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 1: for me, I've used it for all sorts of things, 69 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,360 Speaker 1: particularly high stress situations like if I've got a high 70 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: stakes presentation that I'm making. 71 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 2: For example, I will. 72 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: Often use hypnosis to just calm my nerves and give 73 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,920 Speaker 1: suggestions to my mind that I will be in a 74 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 1: peak performance mode. So I think about hypnosis like meditation 75 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,040 Speaker 1: on steroids, so that I guess has been my form 76 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:42,080 Speaker 1: of meditation. I do also find jogging pretty good for 77 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,799 Speaker 1: getting me into a meditative state. Now, in terms of naps, 78 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 1: if you are someone that does not struggle to get 79 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 1: to sleep at night and stay asleep, so if you 80 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: don't have insomnia, naps, well, there's a whole lot of 81 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: great stuff about naps. Typically, what most sleep researchers would 82 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:06,359 Speaker 1: recommend is don't nap for more than twenty minutes. So 83 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,240 Speaker 1: if I'm having a nap, I generally don't nap, but 84 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: occasionally I do. And I generally don't nap because I 85 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: have struggled with insomnia. Is I will set an alarm 86 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:17,799 Speaker 1: for thirty minutes from when I lie down in bed, 87 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: and I know that it will probably take me a 88 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: few minutes to get to sleep. So at the thirty 89 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: minute mark, I know that I haven't gone into a 90 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: deep sleep. I'm not going to have that groggy feeling, 91 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: and that is the best kind of nap to have. Okay, 92 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 1: let's move on to the next question. So from anonymous, Okay, 93 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 1: I'm currently participating in your Thrive Protocol program and loving it. 94 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: And FYI, that is a program that we run at 95 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:50,719 Speaker 1: Inventium to help drive well being, resilience and productivity. So 96 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: if that is a thing in your organizations, do reach out, 97 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,760 Speaker 1: get in touch. So what is on my mind this 98 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,760 Speaker 1: week is creating healthy boundaries and being able to politely 99 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: put pish back on requests, demands, expectations by people who 100 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 1: can be very persistent and won't take no for an answer. 101 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,160 Speaker 2: So that is the gist of the question. That's a 102 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 2: little bit more there. 103 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:17,240 Speaker 1: But what I would recommend here is a strategy that 104 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 1: I've heard from a few people. One of those people 105 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: was Nicky Sparshot, who she is at Unilever. She used 106 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 1: to head up Unilever Australia. I believe she's now in 107 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,480 Speaker 1: a global role. She has a strategy that she told 108 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: me about called yes but and I love this strategy. 109 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: So when we get some sort of a request for 110 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: our time, I mean, for me, I'm quite good at 111 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: saying no, but I understand that sometimes this is not 112 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,360 Speaker 1: a thing that you can do, particularly when you're in 113 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: the system of a large organization. So yes but involves 114 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: saying yes but putting some constraints around your answer. So 115 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,159 Speaker 1: let me give you an example, because I did actually 116 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,159 Speaker 1: use this strategy a few weeks ago with a client 117 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: of ours, in Ventium, who asked me if I would 118 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 1: do I think the request was for like a forty 119 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: five minute presentation or like fireside chat Q and A 120 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: with a large group of their employees. But they didn't 121 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: have a budget, and normally I charged money for that 122 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 1: kind of thing. But I wanted to help them. We've 123 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: been doing work with them, and you know, we plan 124 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: to continue that relationship. 125 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,040 Speaker 2: So I said yes. 126 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: But so I said yes, I can absolutely do a 127 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: Q and A, but it can only be fifteen minutes. 128 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: I'm very happy to do that just as a gesture 129 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: of goodwill for our relationship, and my client was really 130 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 1: happy I was able to deliver a lot of value 131 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: in that fifteen minutes, but I still set a clear boundary. 132 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: So yes, but is an excellent tool. Let's see our 133 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:59,960 Speaker 1: next question here. How do you navigate making organizational change 134 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: remaining committed to continuous improvement when you're relying on busy 135 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: colleagues making time for the collaboration. Mm, well, I I'm 136 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: not the best person at doing this. 137 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 2: Generally, I will just push forward with. 138 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,280 Speaker 1: The change that I want to make and actually forget 139 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,080 Speaker 1: to take people along for the journey, which is something 140 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: I am trying to work on. 141 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,560 Speaker 2: What though, I have found it's been quite a good tool. 142 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: Bit old fashioned, but doing a good old racy r 143 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: AC I So if you haven't come across racy, racy 144 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: is really great for setting roles clearly at the start 145 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 1: of a project. RACY stands for responsible, accountable, consulted, and informed. 146 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: There are a few different models like this, but I 147 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: like the racing. So these four roles are the things 148 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 1: that you think about at the start of the project. 149 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: So who is responsible, who is actually responsible for doing 150 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,480 Speaker 1: the work? Who is ultimately accountable? Like if the project fails, 151 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: who is the person that is actually going to be 152 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:09,680 Speaker 1: accountable for what happens. Who is consulted along the journey, 153 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: like who do we collaborate with a little bit, and 154 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 1: who is simply informed? And this is a really key 155 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 1: distinction because often we can confuse informed for consulted and 156 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: informed are just people that we just need to communicate with, 157 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 1: keep them updated along the journey of the project. So 158 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 1: if we can define this upfront, we can we can 159 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:37,439 Speaker 1: circumvent a lot of unnecessary collaboration. If you like, next question, 160 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: how do you set up a nurturing environment for those 161 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 1: on your team with neurodiverse brains so that they can 162 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: be set up for success in the workplace? 163 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:48,200 Speaker 2: Good question? 164 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 1: So you know what they say, if you've met one 165 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 1: person with ADHD, you've met one person with ADHD. I 166 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: think this is so important. Trying to group neurodiverse brains 167 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:03,679 Speaker 1: into the one bucket is a big mistake. So the 168 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 1: best thing that you can do is just ask them, 169 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: ask them, like what do you need? But other than 170 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,640 Speaker 1: asking them, I would say, one easy thing to start 171 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: thinking about, well not necessarily easy, but one thing to 172 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: start thinking about is the sensory environment. So a lot 173 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: of neurodiverse brains are quite sensitive to things like loud noises, 174 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 1: bright lights, lots of chit chat and interruptions. 175 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 2: The brains just don't like that. 176 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: So think about what is the physical environment that you 177 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: have set up for your teammates at work, particularly where 178 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: it's in your control, Like what is the lighting light? 179 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 2: Can people adjust the lighting? 180 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 1: You know, bright lights, generally speaking, are not great for 181 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: neurodiverse brains. 182 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 2: Lots of noise not great. Can you set up quiet zones. 183 00:10:55,760 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: Or quiet pods where people with differently fired brains can 184 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: go to get away from the noise. They are certainly 185 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,520 Speaker 1: some good things to start thinking about initially. 186 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 2: Also, we have a bunch. 187 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: Of different tools that we use to help to help 188 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,680 Speaker 1: with collaboration and just getting the most out of all 189 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,080 Speaker 1: sorts of brains. So one of those tools that we 190 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,719 Speaker 1: teach to a lot of our clients at Inventium is 191 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: a tool called shifting. So shifting involves in any kind 192 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:27,199 Speaker 1: of a meeting where you're asking for people's thoughts or inputs, 193 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: which is hopefully any kind of a meeting because ideally 194 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: you're not using meetings just for information sharing. Is getting 195 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: people to think about the question. 196 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 2: Or the problem on their own. 197 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: First, give them five to ten minutes and then shift 198 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,439 Speaker 1: back as a group, taken in turns to share your 199 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: thoughts and then build on each other's thoughts, and then 200 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: you can repeat and repeat and repeat for however many 201 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,680 Speaker 1: times that you want. That's a tool called shifting that 202 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,400 Speaker 1: we find is very good because typically how most meetings 203 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 1: and brainstorms are run is that they're set up to 204 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,559 Speaker 1: really favor people that are highly extroverted and great at 205 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: thinking on the spot, which is really the minority of us. 206 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 1: So a good way to take into account all our 207 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: different brains is to give people time to think on 208 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 1: their own and then take it in turns to share 209 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: as a group. We will be back soon with strategies 210 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: that I personally used to help recover from burnout. Okay, 211 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: this is a very specific question, and this comes off 212 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 1: the back of one of the newsletters that I recently shared, 213 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:44,559 Speaker 1: which I think was titled my three non negotiables for 214 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: health Habits or something like that. If you don't sign up, 215 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: if you don't get my newsletter, there is a link 216 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: in the show notes. So I did talk about how 217 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:57,160 Speaker 1: one of my non negotiables is having twenty to thirty grams, 218 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 1: not that I'm actually using scales to measure things, although 219 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 1: I have done in the past, but you know, I 220 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 1: can eyeball things and know how much protein I'm having. 221 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 2: So I do that with every meal. 222 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,040 Speaker 1: Because that is a huge, huge benefit and has a 223 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,400 Speaker 1: huge impact on blood gluecose levels, which you want to 224 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,040 Speaker 1: try and have as stable as possible throughout the day 225 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 1: for your energy levels. So the question is from Kelly 226 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,400 Speaker 1: regarding your protein powered meals. If cereal is off the 227 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: table at breakfast, what is on the table? 228 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 2: Thanks? Okay. 229 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:32,560 Speaker 1: So I typically have the same breakfast every single day. 230 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of trying to reduce decisions wherever possible, 231 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 1: and deciding what to have for breakfast every day is 232 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: a decision that I try to remove from my life. 233 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 1: So what I have is I get one and you 234 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: might have seen these at your local supermarket. Is it's 235 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: like a big carton of pure egg whites. It's typically 236 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 1: in the freezer section, and I defrost overnight and I 237 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: make myself an egg white omelet with spinach and tomato. 238 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 1: I make sure I use a good amount of olive 239 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:12,959 Speaker 1: oil so I'm getting a good amount of healthy fats 240 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 1: as well, and if I'm not full after that I 241 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 1: will also have some yogurts, so thinking about, you know, 242 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:21,120 Speaker 1: making sure I've also got some fermented food good for 243 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,120 Speaker 1: your gut, and also again just thinking about, you know, 244 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: a different source of protein and fats. So that is 245 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 1: my typical breakfast that I have almost every single day. Okay, 246 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 1: the next question is from Elise. When you're feeling overwhelmed, 247 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: what do you do? 248 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 2: How do you help yourself? 249 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 1: Oh? Man, I have played around with a lot of 250 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: different strategies because I feel like I spent a lot 251 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four and even parts of twenty twenty 252 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 1: three feeling quite overwhelmed about certain things. So the strategies 253 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,680 Speaker 1: that have worked best for me. Firstly, cyclic sighing. If 254 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: you don't know what I'm talking about, Cyclic sighing is 255 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: a great breathing strategy to immediately calm your nervous system. 256 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: It involves taking a breath in I don't know if 257 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,680 Speaker 1: you can hear that through the microphone, and then when 258 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 1: you feel like you've taken a really big breath in, 259 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 1: taking another quick breath in to really fill your lungs, 260 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 1: and then sighing out, so gradually sighing out through your 261 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,640 Speaker 1: mouth and if you repeat that for five minutes. I 262 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 1: mean I would even do it just for one minute 263 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: and I would find a difference. But repeating that for 264 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:44,000 Speaker 1: five minutes has been shown to really reduce that state 265 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: of arousal and calm us down. So I reckon I 266 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: was doing that probably most days of twenty twenty four. 267 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: Another strategy that I find very helpful at Inventium we 268 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 1: call it scar sc is to firstly spot the stressor 269 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,280 Speaker 1: s Spot the stressor, so identify what is the thing 270 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: that is making me stressed? Then see check your control, 271 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 1: So how much control do I have about this stressor 272 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,400 Speaker 1: is it something that I have direct control over? Is 273 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 1: it something that I can influence or is it something 274 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: that I have no control over? 275 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 2: And then a is accept or act. 276 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,520 Speaker 1: So I will act if I have direct control or 277 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 1: some influence over and if I have no control over it, 278 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: which sadly is most of the stresses in our life, 279 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,680 Speaker 1: I will try to accept it and not try to 280 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: change it. I use that a lot when I'm identifying stresses. 281 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:47,280 Speaker 1: The final thing that I found very effective is making 282 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 1: a state change. So if for example, I'm at my 283 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: desk and I'm feeling stressed, a state change might be 284 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: going for a walk around the block, or it might 285 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: be you know, more extreme, like water has very calming effects, 286 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: so maybe I'll just I'll jump in the shower. I 287 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:09,399 Speaker 1: remember when I was on holidays last year and I 288 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 1: was lucky enough to be staying at a place that 289 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: had a pool. I was having a really stressful day. 290 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: I was meant to be on holidays, but I had 291 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,400 Speaker 1: been hit with a couple of work emergencies. It got 292 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,879 Speaker 1: me into quite a state of stress, which I was 293 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 1: trying to work through apply scar to SCA. But then 294 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,400 Speaker 1: I just thought, I'm just going to go for a swim, 295 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 1: and I went for like a ten minute swim in 296 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,760 Speaker 1: the pool, and by the time I was done in 297 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,399 Speaker 1: the pool, my state how I was feeling had completely 298 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: changed and I was no longer feeling overwhelmed. So that 299 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: they are a few techniques on what I do. I 300 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: do also find actually hypnosis that I talked about earlier 301 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: is very very effective. Next question a bit of a 302 00:17:53,359 --> 00:17:57,719 Speaker 1: random one. After I heard you on the mid podcast. 303 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 1: I want to know which app you found a knee on? 304 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,879 Speaker 1: Who Neo is my fiance and the mid podcast is 305 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:08,119 Speaker 1: by Mum and Me. I will put a link to 306 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: that in the show notes. It is a different kind 307 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: of interview that I gave where I talk about finding 308 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,960 Speaker 1: love after getting divorced, which happened five and a half 309 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,879 Speaker 1: years ago. Now, so how I met Neo. The app 310 00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: that I found Neo on was on Hinge. 311 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 2: There you go. That was over three years ago. 312 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,480 Speaker 1: So I don't know what state Hinge is in now, 313 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 1: but certainly at the time it was worked out well 314 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:36,960 Speaker 1: for me and Neo. Okay, I'm interested in learning more 315 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: about professional jealousy and the impact is can have on 316 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,920 Speaker 1: career growth and progression in organizations and how to deal 317 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,479 Speaker 1: with this. Oh ah, that's such a meaty question, and 318 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: you know what, I reckon. I might take that to 319 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 1: a future Ask Me Anything episode because I have so 320 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,879 Speaker 1: much to say about that. I've thought so much about it, 321 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: you know, very quickly. I do try to think about 322 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:06,439 Speaker 1: my own sort of my own goals and sense of 323 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 1: achievement for myself as just thinking about personal bests and 324 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:15,320 Speaker 1: what can I do, because ultimately that there's always going 325 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: to be people that we can do upwards. Comparisons too, 326 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 1: in terms of social comparison theory, so people who are 327 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:22,800 Speaker 1: doing better than us and we can also make downward 328 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 1: comparisons people that are doing worse than us. We're always 329 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,879 Speaker 1: going to have both in our life no matter where 330 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,880 Speaker 1: we are. I do find that quite helpful to remember. 331 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,199 Speaker 1: Funnily enough, it was a concept that I researched in 332 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: my honors thesis in psychology many many years ago. 333 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 2: But I reckon I'll get. 334 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,399 Speaker 1: More into that in a future episode. But also I 335 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: do recommend checking out the interview that I did with 336 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: Sarah Greenberg that came out a week or two ago. 337 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 1: We do talk about some topics around that final question. 338 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 2: I'm interested in. 339 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: Learning more about you recovering from burnout and what tools 340 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 1: you put into place to maintain this, especial considering your 341 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 1: role as a business leader with a stressful schedule ongoing. 342 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,760 Speaker 1: I'm finding this challenging in my own life, so would 343 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,440 Speaker 1: love to hear from someone who has been through it 344 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 1: and continued to balance both a high performing role and 345 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:15,400 Speaker 1: a healthy, balanced life. Okay, great question, and again I'm 346 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna get into more content around this and 347 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:24,360 Speaker 1: more strategies around this as the year progresses. But in short, 348 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,280 Speaker 1: I made some small changes, like some of the things 349 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: that we've spoken about ay that I've spoken about cyclic siging, 350 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,879 Speaker 1: applying scar state changes, They've all been things that have 351 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 1: worked incredibly well. I lean very heavily on my amazing 352 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: support networks, my partner NEO, my close friends, some of 353 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:53,439 Speaker 1: whom are in HR and offer particularly wise advice, you know, 354 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,199 Speaker 1: when it comes to all sorts of sort of people 355 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,359 Speaker 1: and culture and other kinds of you know, challenges that 356 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:03,959 Speaker 1: I think pies a lot of leaders lives. My family 357 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 1: are great, and also I've got some amazing peers who 358 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: are also founder CEOs. So I leant heavily into support networks. 359 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,199 Speaker 1: And then I also asked myself this question a lot. 360 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,919 Speaker 1: What part did I play in creating the circumstances that 361 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 1: contributed to my burnout? You know, who did I attract 362 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: into my life? Like, how was I complicit in that? 363 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 1: What business decisions did I make? So I do think 364 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: a lot about what do I need to own because 365 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,679 Speaker 1: I think it's very easy when you're burnt out to 366 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: place the blame externally. So I will be expanding on 367 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,960 Speaker 1: those answers in future episodes. But that is it for 368 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,159 Speaker 1: today's Ask Me Anything episode. I hope you found it 369 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: useful and if you have more questions that you would 370 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:55,679 Speaker 1: like me to answer, Please drop me an email or 371 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: you can find me on the socials. I love getting 372 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 1: listener questions, so please send them through and I hope 373 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: that you've taken at least one gem out of today's episode. 374 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: If you like today's show, make sure you hit follow 375 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: on your podcast app to be alerted when new episodes drop. 376 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: How I Work was recorded on the traditional land of 377 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 1: the warrangery people, part of the Cool And Nation. A 378 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,399 Speaker 1: big thank you to Martin Nimma for doing the sound mix.