WEBVTT - The Difference Between Hating Kids & Not Wanting Them 🍼 👼

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<v Speaker 1>On Flex and Frooms Flex and Frooms.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.

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<v Speaker 3>If you've been across the Flex brand since twenty eighteen, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>twenty eighteen, you would have known. I did a podcast

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<v Speaker 3>called Bourbon Flex. On that podcast, we talked a lot

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<v Speaker 3>about philosophy and psychology, but one thing that came up

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<v Speaker 3>quite a bit because it was topicals anti natalism, This

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<v Speaker 3>idea of hating children. Not no, it's not hating children.

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<v Speaker 3>It's this idea of not wanting to give birth, not

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<v Speaker 3>liking the idea that you know, we have this right

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<v Speaker 3>to birth into the world, that the world is hanging

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<v Speaker 3>on by a thread enough and adding more children into

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<v Speaker 3>the equation is not helpful in any way. That can

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<v Speaker 3>be disputed for various reasons, whether or not you believe

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<v Speaker 3>it or you don't believe it. The subset of that

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<v Speaker 3>conversation is this general children hating rhetoric, and it's rampant

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<v Speaker 3>on the internet. It's not just like I don't want kids,

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<v Speaker 3>so like I think kids are kind of grubby. People

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<v Speaker 3>who hate kids, people who speak towards kids or speak

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<v Speaker 3>about kids in a derogatory way. And it's interesting because

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<v Speaker 3>you know, we've had many a conversation about red flags

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<v Speaker 3>in the dating context, and we should talk more about

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<v Speaker 3>red flags in people, because red flag for me, people

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<v Speaker 3>who hate kids, not individual kids, hate any individual kid.

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<v Speaker 3>You want kids broadly spooks me because if we talk

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<v Speaker 3>about broadly hating any group of people, we recognize them

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<v Speaker 3>as bigots, we recognize them as sexist or racist, or

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<v Speaker 3>homophobic or transphoby. But suddenly when it's about kids who

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<v Speaker 3>are often holding to adult standards, which is strange, it's fine,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like that. Listen to this TikTok though it's

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<v Speaker 3>from a creator called Kendra Morris.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the first indications to me that somebody is

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<v Speaker 1>not doing their work is that they hate children. And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't mean that they don't want children, because there

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<v Speaker 1>are a lot of valid reasons to not want a

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<v Speaker 1>parent children. But I remember a time I've never hated children,

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<v Speaker 1>but before I perceive myself as somebody who was once

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<v Speaker 1>a child who was worthy of like attention and care

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<v Speaker 1>and nurturing or respect that I did not receive. I

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<v Speaker 1>also didn't have a lot of compassion for children who

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<v Speaker 1>I was not related to.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you think that people actually don't What did you

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<v Speaker 2>say before about children.

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<v Speaker 1>They don't.

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<v Speaker 3>They treat them like adults, they hold them to adult standards.

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<v Speaker 3>They say things like, I don't like kids because they're manipulative.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like kids because they're not aware of their space.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't like kids because they don't understand how to

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<v Speaker 3>behave appropriately. It's like, yeah, babe, they're kids. That's kind

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<v Speaker 3>of the point. They don't know anything. They don't know

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<v Speaker 3>a lot, and adults don't know a lot. I don't

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<v Speaker 3>know if I necessarily agree with the idea that hating

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<v Speaker 3>children is a sign you're not doing the work, because

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<v Speaker 3>that phrase is subjective and vague, and what is the

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<v Speaker 3>work anyway? All the work that I think I'm doing

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<v Speaker 3>gets undone when I'm put in an uncomfortable situation, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>Like you think you're building resilience when you haven't been

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<v Speaker 3>in an uncomfortable or a new environment before. Of course,

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<v Speaker 3>you think you're resilient when you're in your bubble every day.

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<v Speaker 3>You haven't been out of your bubble, you know. But

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<v Speaker 3>so let's not focus on like, you know, you're not

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<v Speaker 3>doing the work, you're not self actualizing, not evolving. That's

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<v Speaker 3>not everyone's prerogative. But I don't know how people justify

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<v Speaker 3>having progressive politics and hating kids. That's where I'm going interesting.

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<v Speaker 2>I think that people are getting their hatred out in

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<v Speaker 2>a way that is socially acceptable. It's no longer socially

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<v Speaker 2>acceptable to be an outward bigot about the whole plethora

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<v Speaker 2>of things you just stated, But with kids, it's kind

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<v Speaker 2>of like a free pass to be transgressive and to

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<v Speaker 2>like get some of your hatred out. I feel it's

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<v Speaker 2>a conversation started to be like an anarchist. It's also

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<v Speaker 2>a bit like pick me vibes, like oh I hate

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<v Speaker 2>you know, oh I hate children. I do think it's

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<v Speaker 2>it's easy to confuse.

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<v Speaker 3>That with I don't want children, or I could never

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to parent them, I don't want to

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<v Speaker 3>hang out with them. That is off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like.

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<v Speaker 2>I personally haven't heard anyone hate children.

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<v Speaker 3>I observe it a lot, and I will say this

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<v Speaker 3>is one of those conversations. And it's also why I

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<v Speaker 3>don't try I try not to do discourse on the

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<v Speaker 3>internet because I feel like people people's internet politics and

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<v Speaker 3>real life politics are very different, and so I see

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of chatter in the comments. I see a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of vitriol in the comments. I don't if it

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<v Speaker 3>would translate into a real life space where you had

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<v Speaker 3>to justify. And I think that's also it as well.

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<v Speaker 3>People have these like really inflammatory views because they don't

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<v Speaker 3>have to justify it, like because someone's not asking you

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<v Speaker 3>to like why why why? Well why, It's like I

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<v Speaker 3>just why does it matter. It's like I was having

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<v Speaker 3>an extension of a conversation, you know, when I was

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<v Speaker 3>we were talking about what's worse for you seeing highlight

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<v Speaker 3>reels or like misery content, And I was talking to

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<v Speaker 3>a friend afterwards, and I was like, I just feel

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<v Speaker 3>like I couldn't get my point across. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>I said, I didn't care about seeing misery content, and

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, no, it's not that I don't guess

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<v Speaker 3>that I don't want to care. I'm so sick of

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<v Speaker 3>being emotionally dysregulated by the Internet and not knowing which

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<v Speaker 3>feelings are mine and which I inherited from viewing too

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<v Speaker 3>much misery content, you know, like because I think on

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<v Speaker 3>the surface, I'm just scrolling away from it, but I

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<v Speaker 3>don't think my body is processing it out. And then

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<v Speaker 3>suddenly I feel really strongly about something I've never experienced,

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<v Speaker 3>or someone I've never seen before, or a person I've

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<v Speaker 3>never heard of realistically, and it's like, oh, because I

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<v Speaker 3>heard something about it, I saw a TikTok about it,

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<v Speaker 3>and then didn't process a thought afterwards. I just took

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<v Speaker 3>the emotion yes, without the thought.

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<v Speaker 2>Which is how it's designed. I guess.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like what I was saying the other day about

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<v Speaker 2>the messages the medium. I think you see the way

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<v Speaker 2>people react to things, and then you start to learn,

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<v Speaker 2>you get scared. You're like, oh, that's how people will

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<v Speaker 2>react to me. People have such strong opinions about anything.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, oh my god, I could talk about loving

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<v Speaker 2>this chocolate and someone's going to be like, you're.

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<v Speaker 3>Did you know cadgreed?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, let worry? Do you know what I mean? Like,

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<v Speaker 2>I think it like the sensationalization and the like extremism,

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<v Speaker 2>which is applied not to things that it ought to

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<v Speaker 2>be but to everyday mundane. It is like brain rot.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel that very much. So it's not good for

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<v Speaker 2>your the way you interact in the world, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think it erodes your innocence and your belief that in people.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, miss you. Dealey we'll talk to you soon.

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<v Speaker 1>You've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.

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