1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: It's will and woody. Shit, it's about to get real 2 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,559 Speaker 1: bold beauty of it. 3 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 2: You know what, I've changed my mind. Let's not do it. 4 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 2: I've just seen you in anguish for the last three 5 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 2: minutes as you're pondering these two questions that I've put 6 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 2: to you. Or remind everyone it's something that hurt me, 7 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 2: but I didn't tell anyone. Yeah, the other option is 8 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 2: a mistake I'll never make again. It looks like you've 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,920 Speaker 2: been getting tortured by something under the desk. 10 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: Good questions. They're both really good questions. And this whole 11 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,080 Speaker 1: bit is about being vulnerable. So like, it's funny when 12 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 1: you ask yourself a question like this, the surface answers 13 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 1: iven't listened to Hugh Van Kleenberg on The Imperfect. He 14 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: is just the archetype in terms of accessing vulnerability. And 15 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: it's really I always like listening to his brain tickover 16 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: because you can hear him kind of like dismissing the 17 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: first few things, which are your ego telling you this 18 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,080 Speaker 1: is a cool thing to say, which is going to 19 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 1: make me sound vulnerable. But then like it's always the 20 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: one where you get rid of the surface level that 21 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: you go, oh that feels really uncomfortable that you know 22 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: that you're actually being vulnerable and. 23 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 2: Your ego is saying, don't say that one. 24 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: So that's the anguish I've been in. So the question, 25 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,600 Speaker 1: the question I chose was something that hurt me, but 26 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:32,080 Speaker 1: I never admitted. Oh, bloody ell, a big one. 27 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 2: It is. 28 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 1: It's really hard, but I think it's a good thing 29 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 1: to talk about because you and I spoken about it, 30 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: so it's fine. 31 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 2: What I'm involved. 32 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: Oh mate, I'm sorry you not me vulnerability, but you're 33 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: you're in there with me, okay. So what I found 34 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:59,240 Speaker 1: really hard at the time was and again we've spoken 35 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 1: about this, was when you wanted to go into the 36 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: jungle and I'm a slim and it was a really 37 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: awful time in that I had these two parts of 38 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: me because our careers have always been just like meshed together, 39 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:24,960 Speaker 1: of course, and that thing came up and I was like, 40 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 1: you know, I had this one part of me, which 41 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: is obviously just really proud and really happy for you, 42 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 1: and that's all you want to do, is you just 43 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 1: want to get around that thing. But if you're really 44 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: honest with yourself, there's this other thing that comes up 45 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: where you're like, oh, that hurts. It hurts me because 46 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: you're doing something without me, and yeah, I just found 47 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: that really tricky for a really long time. 48 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and we couldn't talk to each other. Yeah, dimensioned 49 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 2: to this whole thing where it was like because we've 50 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 2: had good conversations about it beforehand, but then there's also 51 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 2: it's just the actuality of it actually happening. Yeah, and 52 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 2: it's a really weird thing I reckon well, I know 53 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 2: for both of all. For me especially, it was like, yeah, 54 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 2: I find this very weird that I'm not I'm not 55 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 2: able to talk to you now. Yeah, it started, and 56 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 2: there's also like for me being in there, there's no 57 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 2: concept of it actually being a TV show, like you know, 58 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 2: you're on TV show, but yeah, it's hard to get 59 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 2: your head around that people are watching this. Yeah, and 60 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 2: then you can't contact anyone. You couldn't talk to you 61 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 2: about how you were going with it or you know. 62 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, And I knew that, and it was just Yeah, 63 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: it was really tricky, like it was, and it was 64 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: it was again, there was so much fanfare around it, 65 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,200 Speaker 1: and you still have so many people that come up 66 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 1: to you and say that they love watching you and 67 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: they got so match out of it and as your friend, like, 68 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you. But you know, before I 69 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: was talking about my ego, you can feel my ego 70 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: in those moments or even like you know, the stuff 71 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: you're doing, the project and stuff like that, film an 72 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: ego going like ah, like you know, he's leaving you, 73 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: and it's just hard. It's just that it's sometimes that 74 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: does hurt. But again, I know that we have spoken 75 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,839 Speaker 1: about that, but I think it's just a good thing 76 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,280 Speaker 1: to air, like I need to be going to be 77 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:23,359 Speaker 1: vulnerable about it. It can get really tricky sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I. 78 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 2: Think both of us will always have that. I think 79 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 2: if you've ever been in a duo, by the way, 80 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 2: I think that's this is what we are talking about 81 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 2: right now. It's probably something that duos don't talk about, 82 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:36,480 Speaker 2: but it's a thing. It is absolutely a thing. Yeah, 83 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 2: And you know, it's something that we will continue to 84 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,479 Speaker 2: talk about and work with because and I know whenever 85 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,839 Speaker 2: we talk about this. The weirdest thing about this is 86 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 2: that I feel like I'm in a relationship with you, 87 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 2: like a romantic relationship with you, because that's it is 88 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 2: exactly what it's like though, And I feel like a 89 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 2: lot of the time when you look at your romantic partner. 90 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 2: I think that's the best way people can relate to 91 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 2: this is like you want the best from your partner. 92 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,600 Speaker 2: I want your partner to excel in whatever they're doing. 93 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 2: But then also it's like, oh, but if you, if you, 94 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 2: if you go and do that, Yeah, where's that me? Yeah? 95 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: And the funny thing for me about this all is 96 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: like I can say, like, and we've discussed this, like 97 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: that that wasn't for me, like totally the jungle thing. 98 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 1: That was not for me, that was not where I 99 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,279 Speaker 1: was at. That's not what I wanted to do, even 100 00:05:22,279 --> 00:05:24,040 Speaker 1: if I had been asking on and do it, so 101 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 1: I know that, and like, even but I would go 102 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: back to that and be like, but that's not what 103 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: you want to do well, and I'd still feel this 104 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: really ugly thing that is jealousy effectively, that is so 105 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 1: self inflictive unless you kind of nurture it and dig 106 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,560 Speaker 1: it up and then yeah, you and I had to 107 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: have some really, yeah, really full on conversations in around 108 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,280 Speaker 1: that time about where we were going and what we 109 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:48,039 Speaker 1: were doing, and our contract negotiations were coming up. And 110 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,160 Speaker 1: it was really funny because I was on a couple 111 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: of podcasts at that time, and I was doing some writing, 112 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: and it was hilarious because it turned out that we 113 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: were both scared of the other one abandoning them. 114 00:05:58,360 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 2: Yea. 115 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: Took a couple of weeks to get to. 116 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 2: The bottom of that, hopetually. 117 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, but anyway, the question was something that hurt me, 118 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: but I could never admit it. I had to act, obviously, 119 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,480 Speaker 1: act very cool and very happy for you, which I was, 120 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: but it was hard for me to to share that 121 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,039 Speaker 1: it was actually quite hurtful. 122 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,960 Speaker 2: Amazing honesty. Again, we have had this conversation before, We've 123 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 2: talked about it before, but very honest. To view the 124 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 2: sat on radio too much, No, but that is the 125 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:29,840 Speaker 2: last time we'll do Vulnerability Beds Days is good. Hear 126 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 2: more of the boys on the full podcast just scroll up.