Speaker 1: Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
Speaker 1: Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We
Speaker 1: pay our respect to their elders past and present and
Speaker 1: extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander
Speaker 1: people's today.
Speaker 2: This episode is recorded on Gadigal Land of the Aurora
Speaker 2: Nation right around Australia.
Speaker 3: It's the Life un Cut radio show with Brittany Hockley
Speaker 3: and Laura Burn. It is Father's Day tomorrow, so we're
Speaker 3: celebrating all dads in their glory, good and bad.
Speaker 4: Also, I will say it's too bad. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Why are we celebrating the bad ones?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Good?
Speaker 6: Point?
Speaker 4: Oh good?
Speaker 2: Oh good good good dad. Do you know who's having
Speaker 2: a terrible Father's Day? Well, I mean I don't know
Speaker 2: if it is the Father's Day in the States?
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 4: They do? It's like ye at the start of the year.
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 2: Well, Idris Elba I love him, I do. He's a
Speaker 2: very handsome stun Ye. Well, he has embarrassed his daughter
Speaker 2: by not allowing her her name is a son. She's
Speaker 2: twenty years old and he purposefully did not cast her
Speaker 2: in his new movie beast. Now, could you imagine being
Speaker 2: a young actress having and in being your dad.
Speaker 4: That's not a foot in the door, that's a whole
Speaker 4: arm and shoulder in the door.
Speaker 2: And saying, hey, Dad, here's my resume, here's my audition tape.
Speaker 2: I really want to have a go and a shot
Speaker 2: at this movie, and him going no, just probably not
Speaker 2: good enough.
Speaker 4: Wait did she audition or did she not? Even she
Speaker 4: didn't have the hide.
Speaker 5: So she auditioned to play his daughter in the film.
Speaker 2: But he thought that another girl had better chemistry than.
Speaker 4: His own daughter, so he said no.
Speaker 2: He said, no, you can't even like imagine being such
Speaker 2: a bad actress that you can't even play yourself.
Speaker 5: Yeah, somebody else can play you better.
Speaker 4: Well, my dad, my dad didn't do a similar thing.
Speaker 3: He's not a director, but my dad embarrassed me greatly
Speaker 3: when I was in my formative years, like my fifteen
Speaker 3: sixteen year old.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's what dads do, though, Like I think
Speaker 2: this stuff is character building.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, I don't know matter. So I was a
Speaker 3: costume party. It was a movie themed costume party, so
Speaker 3: that yeah, there's a good time. And I was dressed
Speaker 3: as a cockroach. I don't know what film I was
Speaker 3: meant to go as, but I had arms, like four
Speaker 3: brown arms.
Speaker 2: You you could have dressed as anything to go to
Speaker 2: a movie film costume party and your character of choice
Speaker 2: was a cockro I.
Speaker 4: Was blue with the fly. I was a brown Yeah,
Speaker 4: Loue the fly. I don't know what. Anyway, other girls
Speaker 4: loved it.
Speaker 3: This was when I was straight, and I'm using air quotes,
Speaker 3: that is when I was straight. And I kissed Sarah Hoggart,
Speaker 3: gorgeous woman, Sarah Hoggard, and she was dressed as an avatar,
Speaker 3: so she was bright blue, and I was in the
Speaker 3: backyard and we were on like hacky sacks bean bags
Speaker 3: in the backyard and it was like mid backing out
Speaker 3: with Sarah Hoggar making out with the avatar, Sarah Hoggard.
Speaker 5: Croaching avatar, cockroach and a blue avatar.
Speaker 3: And this is like at the point in your life
Speaker 3: when your mum and dad need to pick you up
Speaker 3: from parties, can't drive, and dad came to pick me up,
Speaker 3: and the parents must have said on mitches down the
Speaker 3: back and the bean bags with Sarah. So Dad walks down,
Speaker 3: He's looking, where's Mitch, Mitch? Mitch and he sees me
Speaker 3: macking on with Sarah hogguard and he comes up and
Speaker 3: he goes, Mitch made him.
Speaker 4: Oh god, sorry, buddy, didn't know. You can't keep going.
Speaker 4: Don't don't let me interrupt you two. You put your
Speaker 4: arm around the back.
Speaker 3: It was giving me tips because I think he had
Speaker 3: the inkling that I might have been gay.
Speaker 5: Like he was thrilled that it was a female.
Speaker 4: He was so happy. He's like, just churst and.
Speaker 2: Then he's like, no, you do you keep at it, son,
Speaker 2: good job.
Speaker 4: Wipes off some of the blue pants, like is that
Speaker 4: a woman?
Speaker 8: It is?
Speaker 9: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, keep going, son, I'll wait the car.
Speaker 2: Do you know my dad anytime we would bring boys
Speaker 2: home and my dad, my dad was an ex army major.
Speaker 2: He had guns in the house growing up, like it was,
Speaker 2: you know, safely, Yeah, it's tucked away.
Speaker 5: But he was a bit scary.
Speaker 2: I think for young boys who we would bring home
Speaker 2: and my dad, I'd introduce them and he'd.
Speaker 5: Say, you break her heart and I'll shoot you dead pan,
Speaker 5: dead pan.
Speaker 2: He wouldn't just to really mess them up. Oh my god,
Speaker 2: yeah I didn't really get her long term boyfriend and tell.
Speaker 3: Someone, how did your dad embarrass you? Thirteen, one of
Speaker 3: sixty five calls Can you beat the cockroach in the gardens?
Speaker 3: Father's Day in twenty four hours. So we're celebrating dads.
Speaker 3: And we were talking off the air before about embarrassing days.
Speaker 5: Are we celebrating them?
Speaker 2: We're really just I mean, we could have looked and
Speaker 2: a nice little segment about how wonderful dads are, but
Speaker 2: instead we thought how they embarrassed us over the years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I had my dad walk in on me
Speaker 3: cooking up with my first girl at that term me gay.
Speaker 3: What I didn't tell you was Laura. She asked me
Speaker 3: while we were kissing. She goes, are you gay? Like
Speaker 3: broke the kiss to ask me.
Speaker 5: There's nothing more arousing, is there? That's really a sad mood.
Speaker 5: You're like, maybe I am?
Speaker 4: Now I went, you know what, Yeah, I am.
Speaker 5: I think this is the defining moment.
Speaker 4: Hi, Sharon, how did your dad embarrass you?
Speaker 8: So?
Speaker 10: When I was in grade eleven or twelve, I had
Speaker 10: dry socket and it was I was on some pretty
Speaker 10: really heavy pain medications, but the problem was that it
Speaker 10: made me super constipated and it was so bad that
Speaker 10: I ended up using an enema at home. I didn't yeah,
Speaker 10: and I didn't know what they were meant to do,
Speaker 10: so I thought it was like instant relief, but it wasn't.
Speaker 10: So I used more than one waiting.
Speaker 2: As in you took laxatives or you put multiple enemies
Speaker 2: up your back.
Speaker 11: By Yeah, Yeah, that was I can't wait to see.
Speaker 4: How Dad comes into this.
Speaker 9: Yeah.
Speaker 10: So I obviously couldn't go to school the next day
Speaker 10: and I had an assignment like a presentation do so
Speaker 10: Dad had to call up and talk to my teacher.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 10: The next time I was in class, my teacher was like, oh,
Speaker 10: sous Shannon, how are you. I had a very interesting
Speaker 10: chat with your dad, and I just went bright red
Speaker 10: and he just smiled.
Speaker 11: At me and nodded.
Speaker 10: Months or weeks later, the longer, I was at like
Speaker 10: my boyfriend's house at the time, and I just randomly
Speaker 10: brought it up and he's like, oh my god, you're
Speaker 10: that student. He told our whole class this story.
Speaker 9: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5: Not only did your dad embarrassing your teacher, did you dirty?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 10: He told this complete other year twelve class that some
Speaker 10: students Dad told him that his daughter was.
Speaker 4: That was confidentiality. That's teacher's student breaking rules.
Speaker 5: No, and also sometimes details are not important.
Speaker 4: I agree. I agree, poor Shannon, it's a terrible daddy
Speaker 4: visceral image. All right, Taylor, wrap it up for a
Speaker 4: thirteen one I sixty five. What is your very detailed
Speaker 4: story about your dad? Embarrassing?
Speaker 8: Yes.
Speaker 9: So I was probably about sixteen years old and my
Speaker 9: dad found my diary. They had all the details in
Speaker 9: there about losing their virginity, the day, the time, all
Speaker 9: the details.
Speaker 5: But he picked it up and read it.
Speaker 9: Oh, he had a good old read of it, Yes.
Speaker 2: And didn't stop when he got he got towards some
Speaker 2: details he probably shouldn't and does not need to know.
Speaker 5: He kept reading it, he did, but I did guess work.
Speaker 9: He then thought it would be a good idea to
Speaker 9: organize a bit of an intervention. So my parents were
Speaker 9: separated and my mum rocked up at the house and
Speaker 9: we were all sitting down at the table and dad
Speaker 9: whipped out the diary on the table.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's embarrassing, awful.
Speaker 11: So embarrassed.
Speaker 4: What did he document? What part of your life?
Speaker 6: Was it?
Speaker 4: The virginity?
Speaker 2: I'm just imagining you with your diary and notes down
Speaker 2: the side.
Speaker 3: I'm picturing password journal and he has to go, Taylor,
Speaker 3: you don't password journals.
Speaker 4: Did you ever have? No, Taylor, you had a password journal?
Speaker 11: I've seen them.
Speaker 5: I didn't have one little locket. Yeah, you're very young.
Speaker 3: Password general and you had to hold the book up
Speaker 3: to your mouth. And my password used to be Mitch Launer.
Speaker 2: Like Taylor Lautner, ninety percent of people who listened to
Speaker 2: this radio show have no idea what you're talking and pens.
Speaker 4: Oh god, that's terrible.
Speaker 3: All right, thanks for your call, Taylor talking Father's Day next,
Speaker 3: because our beloved Maddie Jay has We're celebrating.
Speaker 4: Him because there's big news for him in the world
Speaker 4: of father's.
Speaker 5: He's a very good dad. I'm very lucky.
Speaker 3: He's a great dad. And Australia agrees, but not too much.
Speaker 3: He's not that good and it's not the best. It's
Speaker 3: not the best, but he's very good. He makes it
Speaker 3: on the list anyway. Well, unpacking that after a show favorite.
Speaker 7: Ask.
Speaker 2: So ask gun Cut is what we do on every
Speaker 2: Thursday episode of the podcast. It is a show favorite
Speaker 2: and it's where you, guys right in your deepest, your
Speaker 2: darkest and your burning questions and we do our best
Speaker 2: to answer them.
Speaker 4: Why are you laughing advice?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I mean, like, I mean, obviously it's solicited advice.
Speaker 2: People ask for it, but doesn't mean it's particularly good advice.
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 2: We try, it's enthusiastic, all right. The question for today
Speaker 2: is I'm in a tricky situation. I've been on four
Speaker 2: dates with a guy and it's been going so well.
Speaker 2: He is so fun, he's so nice, and he is
Speaker 2: really really sexy.
Speaker 5: Ding ding ding.
Speaker 2: However, he is a truly terrible kisser, and I don't
Speaker 2: know how to look past it. My question is, what
Speaker 2: do you do about a bad kisser? Can I help
Speaker 2: fix this? Or do I have to cut my losses? No?
Speaker 3: No, no, maybe this is my internal I love that
Speaker 3: I've jumped straight in with.
Speaker 4: I've got this is for you.
Speaker 5: Ben's jury, what you do?
Speaker 4: You can fix that one.
Speaker 2: It's pretty offensive though, when someone says to you like,
Speaker 2: oh God, can you use less tongue? Like it's just
Speaker 2: you know, no one wants to be told that they're
Speaker 2: a bad kisser.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I guess it depends on what level of bad,
Speaker 3: because too much tongue can be fixed, but not enough
Speaker 3: is a confidence issue.
Speaker 4: You know. It says a lot, but about someone.
Speaker 5: I'd never thought of it like that, because if you're using.
Speaker 3: Too much, over confident, but if you're not using enough,
Speaker 3: you don't know how, you don't know how to start.
Speaker 5: And not enough, it's kind of like you're kissing your nan.
Speaker 4: Oh nothing worse than a personally gosh.
Speaker 2: Look, I think you have to start off. Here's here's
Speaker 2: my kissing advice. I think try and manually such them
Speaker 2: into the type of kisser that you want them to be,
Speaker 2: because I feel like sometimes you can be kissing someone
Speaker 2: and you can kind of by what you're doing, show
Speaker 2: them what you like if that makes sense, and if
Speaker 2: that doesn't work, then you have to say, please stop
Speaker 2: roaming that down my throat?
Speaker 5: Or either way, did.
Speaker 4: You who leads when you kiss? Maddie, your partner both?
Speaker 2: I guess there's not one person who's like the kissing boss,
Speaker 2: like who leads when you kiss?
Speaker 4: I don't know I can now, but you're right my
Speaker 4: partner and I. It depends though.
Speaker 3: I think sometimes only the kissing and my tongue will
Speaker 3: be a bit more poky, and then his will be
Speaker 3: a bit more poky the next time.
Speaker 5: Okay, what about what side do you lean to?
Speaker 2: So there's this theory right that if you tilt your
Speaker 2: head to the right, that you're really into the person,
Speaker 2: that it's like a form of connection, that you're actually
Speaker 2: very engaged with them and you're attracted to them. But
Speaker 2: if you instinctively want to tilt your head to the left,
Speaker 2: then you there's some sort of resistance there. You're not
Speaker 2: as I mean, I mean, maybe that doesn't count for
Speaker 2: people who are left and right, Like if you're a
Speaker 2: lefty them, then maybe that's why. But no, if we
Speaker 2: have a natural side and normally it's to our right,
Speaker 2: and that indicates a strong connection.
Speaker 4: I'm always to the right now, I picture it. I'm
Speaker 4: never on my left.
Speaker 5: Imagine if you did.
Speaker 2: Though, when you think about it going kissing on the
Speaker 2: other side, it's like, oh, yeah, that's what you do
Speaker 2: if you didn't really like someone, Like, oh.
Speaker 5: Yes, make it stop faster.
Speaker 4: That's what my uncle does, Uncle Phil.
Speaker 5: When he kisses you on the right, No, he kisses me.
Speaker 4: He wants me to kiss the back of his ear.
Speaker 4: He's so awkward. You go, uncle Phil, you kiss him,
Speaker 4: and he gives you the back of his ear.
Speaker 5: That is weird, bitch Chewy. That just took a really
Speaker 5: weirdly gathering.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh hey, and then he gives you the
Speaker 3: back of his neck like he's so awkward about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's straight, that's weird. Yeah, And I don't think
Speaker 2: that you should have to tell your uncle how to kiss.
Speaker 4: It's uncle Phil.
Speaker 3: Maybe this is uncle Phil writing I never kissed my nephew.
Speaker 4: The right way.
Speaker 2: Okay, But to wrap this one up, I don't think
Speaker 2: it's necessarily a deal breaker.
Speaker 5: I do think that you can fix it.
Speaker 2: However, if you try and fix it, and it's an
Speaker 2: unfixable problem because some people just kiss differently, just like
Speaker 2: you know, every sort of like physical thing that you
Speaker 2: can do in a relationship, read between the lines. Some
Speaker 2: people are compatible and some people aren't. And I think
Speaker 2: if it comes to a point when you're just not
Speaker 2: meshing and vibing, and that's probably going to have some
Speaker 2: long term impact.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm with you.
Speaker 3: And also just pop on a tutorial, maybe go to
Speaker 3: YouTube trying to help them. Kissing the mirror, I used
Speaker 3: to kiss the mirror, not as.
Speaker 2: A twenty five year old or as a thirty two
Speaker 2: like thirty six year old lawa just kissing herself in
Speaker 2: the mirror is probably a bit problematic.
Speaker 5: Fourteen.
Speaker 4: Fine, yeah, you're right, bad advice.
Speaker 8: All right.
Speaker 3: If you want to get in touch, hit us up
Speaker 3: Life on Cut Podcast. They can send in the question right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can slide into the dms at Life on
Speaker 2: Cut Podcast on Instagram and maybe we will answer it
Speaker 2: terribly next week.
Speaker 3: Hit us up back after this very soon, Laura Burn,
Speaker 3: you will be doing the deed, not the deed. I'm
Speaker 3: sure you will be consummating, but you will be getting
Speaker 3: married to Maddy Jay later in the year.
Speaker 2: We will be Do people actually consummate on their wedding night?
Speaker 4: I think you'd be.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you haven't a good night, the last
Speaker 3: thing you'd want after a few drinks and some cake
Speaker 3: is to do it.
Speaker 2: I mean, especially if you've already got kids and stuff
Speaker 2: like we just want to go and have a sleep
Speaker 2: and you.
Speaker 3: Want to be celebrating with family and friends like No,
Speaker 3: I think it's very traditional to do that.
Speaker 5: Okay, So this was my question.
Speaker 2: We're speaking of what's traditional and what's not traditional anymore.
Speaker 2: Now there have been more and more people coming out
Speaker 2: of the woodwork recently.
Speaker 5: The article that.
Speaker 2: Got me thinking about this was Dua Lipa went to
Speaker 2: a wedding recently wearing all white.
Speaker 4: Oh that was this week.
Speaker 2: It was, but also that was the dress code. The
Speaker 2: dress code was all of the guests wearing white.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well it was for a designer, Simone Porte Jacqua Mess.
Speaker 5: Is that how you say the name?
Speaker 4: You probably not know, but I wasn't involved.
Speaker 2: You could say Jack Miss if you don't know a
Speaker 2: lot about fashion, Jackmas.
Speaker 3: I don't know what doubt it's Jackmas anyway, he makes
Speaker 3: the little designer bags.
Speaker 4: He got married. It was a gay wedding and the
Speaker 4: theme was white. But what's the problem. She looks hot.
Speaker 5: She looks insanely hot. I would be quite upset. I
Speaker 5: think if someone rocked up at my wedding wearing this.
Speaker 3: It's also sheer, like you can see a belly button,
Speaker 3: you can see her undies.
Speaker 2: But this is what makes me think that the rules
Speaker 2: around weddings are changing, you know, like the old and okay, like.
Speaker 5: The old saying what is it? Something new, something.
Speaker 4: Something bold, something brown, something fold, something new.
Speaker 5: No, it is what is it?
Speaker 2: It's something borrowed, something blue, something old, and something new. Yes,
Speaker 2: So I looked this up recently because I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: maybe I need to tick those things off.
Speaker 5: And also, who do I get the borrowed and the
Speaker 5: old thing from?
Speaker 4: I don't know something. I've got a blue pair of
Speaker 4: reebox socks if you want to just stick them in.
Speaker 2: My brass, because trust me, these poor old girls needs
Speaker 2: some help.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 2: No, but did you know that that saying actually changed
Speaker 2: so back in the day, that saying used to be
Speaker 2: something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe. Oh,
Speaker 2: we changed it because we stopped making sixpences.
Speaker 3: So we changed it to something else, high heels that
Speaker 3: would slip right out.
Speaker 2: So that makes me think, if we can change all
Speaker 2: these traditional things about weddings, what is actually the rules now?
Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to be marrying a man, so tradition's
Speaker 3: out the window when it comes to my wedding.
Speaker 4: I'm not really worried about that.
Speaker 5: What do you reckon you're gonna wear to my wedding?
Speaker 4: I want to wear a skirt to your wedding. I
Speaker 4: haven't told you yet.
Speaker 5: I'm so here for it.
Speaker 4: Do I have your permission?
Speaker 5: Absolutely? Just not a white one, okay, okay, I can
Speaker 5: do that, or a brown skirt.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 2: Here's something else that happened recently produce a key shak
Speaker 2: So producer Keisha works across our podcast. She is wonderful, amazing.
Speaker 2: I share so much about all the wedding stuff with her.
Speaker 2: She had kind of forgotten that I had shown her
Speaker 2: the dresses what our bridesmaids are wearing. Oh, and she
Speaker 2: showed me the dress that she bought, and she accidentally
Speaker 2: bought the identical dress that my bridesmaids are wearing to
Speaker 2: the wedding. And it made me think, like, am I
Speaker 2: being too controlling?
Speaker 4: Stiller?
Speaker 2: Am I being too like, oh, you know, everything needs
Speaker 2: to be the way I want it? By telling her
Speaker 2: that she can't wear that dress.
Speaker 4: Did you ask her to change?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 4: Okay, then may no? I might see.
Speaker 5: My gut is to say, maybe you are, but also
Speaker 5: who cares? I don't think.
Speaker 2: Do you want to come to the wedding looking like
Speaker 2: a bridesmaid when you're not?
Speaker 5: That's weird?
Speaker 4: Do you think it's a secret plan? And she'd be like,
Speaker 4: whe may as well stand up there as well? What's
Speaker 4: one more bridesmaid?
Speaker 5: Was somebody else recently who had had some wedding rules, yeah,
Speaker 5: that were compromised.
Speaker 4: It was j Lo I was invited famously.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, of course you were the one who lead
Speaker 5: the video.
Speaker 6: I was.
Speaker 2: But she had all of her guests sign and NDA.
Speaker 2: They couldn't share anything from the wedding with ben Affleck
Speaker 2: the recent one, Yeah yeah, one of the many, one
Speaker 2: of them, but she had everyone's on an NDA. They
Speaker 2: couldn't share anything from the wedding, and somehow someone shared
Speaker 2: a video sold it for money of her singing a
Speaker 2: song to ben Athleck, and that all got Out's.
Speaker 4: See, that is wrong. That's an invasion of privacy.
Speaker 2: And I just think like when that level of superstar,
Speaker 2: when you're when privacy is so paramount to you.
Speaker 5: And also when they've done this before.
Speaker 2: You know, one of the reasons why they didn't actually
Speaker 2: end up getting married before was because of so much
Speaker 2: public interest around their weddings. So they were engaged four things,
Speaker 2: and so they've gone to extra lengths and now it's
Speaker 2: just it feels like for them that must be taken
Speaker 2: away and it's been made a little bit less special.
Speaker 3: We would you be upsetting, say, for example, I would
Speaker 3: never do it, but I put a photo up of
Speaker 3: you on your wedding day before you got the chance
Speaker 3: to post the official photos and Daily Mail publisher.
Speaker 4: She's not that I've planned.
Speaker 5: That is literally, That's probably my one rule. I don't mind.
Speaker 2: I don't mind if people like because you know, sometimes
Speaker 2: you go to weddings and they say no phones. Yes,
Speaker 2: I don't mind if people take photos. I don't mind
Speaker 2: if people post it to social media. But please just
Speaker 2: don't post an ugly photo of me before I get
Speaker 2: a chance, Like, let me post the first photo, because
Speaker 2: we all know whatever that first photo is, that's the
Speaker 2: one Daily Mail will run forever until the dawnertime.
Speaker 3: Oh god, yeah, front page. All right, how was your
Speaker 3: wedding day ruined? Let's take some calls.
Speaker 5: Who ruined your wedding?
Speaker 4: Who ruined your wedding? How did they ruin it?
Speaker 2: We are talking weddings at the moment, and somehow we
Speaker 2: got onto how Look, I've got a wedding coming up.
Speaker 2: There's lots of planning. We're trying to figure out what
Speaker 2: are the rules. But we also wanted to know how
Speaker 2: did your wedding get ruined?
Speaker 5: What did that person do?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I didn't tee this, but my uncle very quickly at
Speaker 3: my cousin Crystal's wedding, got up and wrapped any speech
Speaker 3: is that.
Speaker 5: That's fun though, that's quirky people do.
Speaker 4: She hated it. It did go well with the crowd.
Speaker 3: But then when my grandfather died the year later, he
Speaker 3: wrapped at his funeral.
Speaker 2: Way, do you know what. My best friend was a
Speaker 2: maid of honor. She said she does speech to her
Speaker 2: husband at her wedding, and she said, I like to
Speaker 2: thank all my bridesmaids. You've been wonderful and I'll definitely
Speaker 2: use you at my next wedding. Went down like a
Speaker 2: sag of potato.
Speaker 4: Oh really, I'll see that's funny. I would have loved hard.
Speaker 3: All right, let's go to maddle Ite on thirteen one
Speaker 3: O sixty five. How did your wedding get ruined?
Speaker 8: Well, we were in the middle of our ceremony. It
Speaker 8: was outdoors, and all of a sudden we had mat
Speaker 8: see industrial sized sprinklers pop up from the ground and
Speaker 8: pointed straight at me.
Speaker 4: Industrial day.
Speaker 2: I do say that rain on the wedding day is
Speaker 2: a sign of good luck, So I wonder what a
Speaker 2: sprinkler is.
Speaker 4: They say that to make you feel better. It's not real.
Speaker 5: Does make the photos.
Speaker 8: We've been married for five years now, so something's going round.
Speaker 4: And you're happy. Maybe it's a sign of good sex,
Speaker 4: like you know, wet on your wedding day? Oh wow,
Speaker 4: No trying to make it feel better?
Speaker 3: No, no, I tried mad and Karen on thirteen one
Speaker 3: six five, Hi Karen?
Speaker 4: What ruined your wedding day?
Speaker 11: I ruined my own wedding day?
Speaker 8: Mitch?
Speaker 5: What did you do? Karen?
Speaker 11: I got to the start of the aisle and began
Speaker 11: to sob hysterically. I couldn't stop, which meant I couldn't speak,
Speaker 11: so I couldn't say my own vow. The man that
Speaker 11: I was marrying spoke louder when he had was given
Speaker 11: his vout. He just like took control of the whole church.
Speaker 5: Wait, wait, were these happy tears or.
Speaker 8: Sure?
Speaker 4: What these were?
Speaker 7: Now?
Speaker 11: No? No, they weren't happy tease Laura at all. But anyway,
Speaker 11: like we didn't know about red flags way back then.
Speaker 5: I suppose that's devastating.
Speaker 11: But then to top it off, when it came time
Speaker 11: for the minister to say, who gives this bride away?
Speaker 11: So that was my dad, but the minister forgot to
Speaker 11: say that, So my dad stood there the whole.
Speaker 5: Time we got to walk away?
Speaker 10: Know what?
Speaker 11: And I capped it off the first night in our
Speaker 11: brand new house, which was only a week later. I
Speaker 11: spent that in hospital having my pandic to move.
Speaker 5: So, yeah, that is just a comedy of errors.
Speaker 4: That's a wedding week. That's awful. Poor thing.
Speaker 3: All right, Lauren wrapped this up for us. How did
Speaker 3: you ruin your wedding day?
Speaker 12: Hi? Hey guys, I set my wedding dress on fire
Speaker 12: at my reception.
Speaker 2: You said my own wedding dress on fire? Did you
Speaker 2: fling it into a candle or something?
Speaker 8: Yeah, pretty much. I was standing.
Speaker 12: I was standing at the end of my bridal table,
Speaker 12: and I had my dress straight over my arm because
Speaker 12: it was quite long, and there was a candle right
Speaker 12: next to me, and I didn't realize I got a
Speaker 12: bit too closed, and my whole train just said a
Speaker 12: light and everyone started screaming at me that I was
Speaker 12: on fire, And.
Speaker 2: You're like, yeah, yeah, my dreams, Like no, literally, how
Speaker 2: much of your dress is on fire?
Speaker 11: It was probably the last thirty centimeters of the train
Speaker 11: I reckon fire.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's he got to it with a long train.
Speaker 4: Otherwise that would have been a bad night.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it would have been absolutely brilliant.
Speaker 2: Do you know what Mitch, nothing would ruin your wedding
Speaker 2: worse than marrying like a dud person, like just not
Speaker 2: being the right person at the end of the aisle.
Speaker 5: That's a pretty sure fire way to ruin your own wedding.
Speaker 4: I think divorce it's just the answer.
Speaker 3: All right, We're up next, Mattie Jays jording us because
Speaker 3: we are talking the most popular dads in the country.
Speaker 4: Maddie j has made the.
Speaker 5: List and he's always number one in my books, mis Ury.
Speaker 4: Well, not in the country's eyes. It's Father's Day tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Maddie j are very beloved, like he's our mutual partner
Speaker 3: wearing a polyamorous relationship.
Speaker 2: I mean, you do love him, and you do make
Speaker 2: him very aware of the fact that you love him.
Speaker 4: I do love him a lot. He knows I messaged
Speaker 4: him all the time. Has he said something about it.
Speaker 5: No, he just says it's cute that you love him
Speaker 5: so much.
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a different issue here that we're
Speaker 3: into unpack later, because I thought we had a great friendship.
Speaker 5: You do.
Speaker 2: I do think that sometimes I feel left out, like
Speaker 2: the third wheel of your little love affair that's going on.
Speaker 3: Well, I do love him so much that I was
Speaker 3: googling him and I found this last night. I don't
Speaker 3: know if you know, but there's a list of Australia's
Speaker 3: top ten best dads popular famous dads in Australia.
Speaker 4: So I don't really know who's doing this if it's
Speaker 4: like a TV week Woman's.
Speaker 5: Day list anyways, at reeks of who weekly? Doesn't it
Speaker 5: it's reeks of.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay with the exclamation point. Anyway, Our beloved Maddie
Speaker 3: Jay is fourth on the list.
Speaker 5: Ah, I mean he's my favorite dad.
Speaker 4: Yes, he's yours.
Speaker 5: Who comes up above him?
Speaker 4: Well, I reckon we call him and tell him the news.
Speaker 5: Okay, I don't know. I think he won't be very
Speaker 5: happy with that.
Speaker 4: If you think you're a pick up.
Speaker 5: It's not even an award though, is it. No, it's
Speaker 5: not got to get him to number two at least.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we should definitely get him. Let's try and get
Speaker 3: him up. I've got a plan to get him up.
Speaker 6: Hello, Hi, he am I darling.
Speaker 5: Well, thank you Annie Darling.
Speaker 4: I think that was to me.
Speaker 2: We're always competing as to who you love more. That's
Speaker 2: where we're at at this point in time.
Speaker 6: I love you both equally.
Speaker 4: Oh, good.
Speaker 5: No, it's not good.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: One you're marrying in a couple of months and the
Speaker 3: other just eats the food in your house.
Speaker 2: Well, I I want to let you know something. There's
Speaker 2: been a little bit of research that's gone down here
Speaker 2: and Mitch has been looking up who are the most
Speaker 2: famous dads in Australia. Although I might think you're number one,
Speaker 2: you're currently number four.
Speaker 4: Congratulations?
Speaker 6: Who's number one?
Speaker 4: Do you want to know? Number one is? Okay?
Speaker 3: So number one, I'll give you the list. So Maddy
Speaker 3: J comes in at number four. I beloved Maddy J.
Speaker 3: Number three is Adam Leoor.
Speaker 4: He won Master chefod a couple of years ago.
Speaker 3: Was on SBA's Got a Cooking Show. Number two. This
Speaker 3: did shock me. Guy Sebastian, Oh no, I like that.
Speaker 3: By and Jules it'd be lovely. Number one, get this right?
Speaker 3: The most popular famous dad in the country none other
Speaker 3: than Grant Dania.
Speaker 6: He has one of gold LEGI yes, although I don't
Speaker 6: think he's on TikTok so I do be them there true.
Speaker 2: Well with the younger generation, I mean maybe this is
Speaker 2: an old Google search.
Speaker 3: Maddie, Laura and I have a plan. We want to
Speaker 3: get you to the number one spot.
Speaker 6: Hey, guys, I'm in Whatever it takes, I will do it.
Speaker 5: We have a little bit of a surprise for you.
Speaker 2: We've got some questions that we need you to answer
Speaker 2: in the most responsible dad way possible. I think is
Speaker 2: the best way of putting this, Like how would you
Speaker 2: answer these questions? Also, I think this is a good
Speaker 2: little test run to see how you're going to answer
Speaker 2: these questions when our two girls ask them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because they're not far off asking these questions. So
Speaker 4: these are some of them. The Life Fund cut listeners
Speaker 4: that are children.
Speaker 5: Maddy, how did I get mummy's tummy?
Speaker 6: How did you get into mummy's tummy? It was actually
Speaker 6: a car. Acts were in the You're in the back seat,
Speaker 6: you weren't wearing a seat belt, must slammed on the brakes.
Speaker 6: You then flew to the front of the car. Luckily
Speaker 6: Money caught you with a tunny. So you work in it.
Speaker 2: Wow, I don't know if you go up the races
Speaker 2: fall and down to six.
Speaker 4: Let's get another question. Yeah, No, next one, next week, buddy,
Speaker 4: Why did money Daddy's wrestler die?
Speaker 6: The thing is, as a parent, exercise is really hard
Speaker 6: to do because you just don't have any time. Sometimes
Speaker 6: at the end of the end of the day if
Speaker 6: you haven't had your daily exercise, because we all need exercise,
Speaker 6: let's face it. And the best way to get in
Speaker 6: that thirty minutes of exercise to get the heart rate
Speaker 6: up is to do a quick little wrestle in bed
Speaker 6: to make sure that you're as healthy as can be.
Speaker 5: And wrestling is very good cardio.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thirty minute seems generous, Laura. Would you say thirty
Speaker 3: minutes of exercise at nine.
Speaker 5: In wrestling, I think we're more at like the seven
Speaker 5: minute quick workout.
Speaker 6: Yes, more wrestling and the more grunting, the more exercise
Speaker 6: there is, and everyone's happy.
Speaker 2: You might get hurt in wrestling a little bit, which
Speaker 2: is why they might be some moaning groaning.
Speaker 4: Yeah, her mom, all right, the next child, maddielegs. Lamb
Speaker 4: coups come from all them chops.
Speaker 6: Can you know sometimes when you go to the Easter
Speaker 6: Show and you see your beautiful little lamb that's maybe
Speaker 6: a few months old, that's a lamb chop. They're bloody delicious.
Speaker 4: Matt, he's dropping down the least.
Speaker 7: Matt.
Speaker 2: You're not even you're not even trying. You're trying to
Speaker 2: be the world's worst most famous dad.
Speaker 6: I think it's important that we don't shelter our kids.
Speaker 4: You know what.
Speaker 5: I know what he's doing here.
Speaker 2: He knows he can't beat grand Daniel, so he's purposely
Speaker 2: throwing in the towel.
Speaker 6: Well, this is awkward.
Speaker 3: Or I thank you, Maddie Australia's thirtieth most beloved dad.
Speaker 4: I think of his plans the shame.
Speaker 3: Can we try and get Grant danyur on maybe missus
Speaker 3: out there producing Missy you know Grant Daniel from way back.
Speaker 4: Can we call him? Maybe?
Speaker 5: Think we can. But the fact that he's number one
Speaker 5: most popular dad, he might be busy for father's he's
Speaker 5: doing dad stuff. I've got his number there. I'll give
Speaker 5: him call.
Speaker 2: Maybe he can help Matt and give Matt some advice
Speaker 2: because clearly he needs it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Mattie, you okay? If we get Grand up next,
Speaker 3: you happy to confront your nemesis.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think the feedback from you guys, in my opinion,
Speaker 6: has been outrageous.
Speaker 4: It's almost like you don't want the role Matt.
Speaker 2: I want to know from Grant what would he say
Speaker 2: to his kids if they asked me?
Speaker 5: LAMB chock.
Speaker 4: I agree, I agree.
Speaker 3: We'll do it with Grant Daniel, Australia's number one most
Speaker 3: beloved and adore dad, and Mattie J.
Speaker 4: Number thirty, number thirty.
Speaker 2: Father's Day is just around the corner and unfortunately Matty
Speaker 2: J has been listed by Google as the number four
Speaker 2: most famous dad. Now, we thought we would give Matt
Speaker 2: the opportunity of becoming number one most famous dad up
Speaker 2: there topping it Grant Danya, he is number one currently.
Speaker 5: Unfortunately Matt did not do too well.
Speaker 3: We tried to butt Thatt up. We tried to get
Speaker 3: him to beat Adam Leora and Guys Sebastian. Now he's
Speaker 3: right down there in the pit, but.
Speaker 5: We do we have gotten Grand Dan. You're on the phone.
Speaker 4: He got number one.
Speaker 5: He's not aware though that he is number one.
Speaker 3: First of all, a number one most popular dad in
Speaker 3: the country. Grant Dania, welcome to the show. Hello, are
Speaker 3: you kidding me?
Speaker 7: This is bloody better than winning.
Speaker 4: A lesson.
Speaker 2: Number one most famous dad in the country. I bet
Speaker 2: that as an accolade. You didn't know that.
Speaker 7: You have no No, I'm glad I do.
Speaker 6: That's a bloody good honor.
Speaker 7: I love my kids.
Speaker 6: I think I've got three of them, three.
Speaker 7: Of them, and they're all still alive, so I'm winning.
Speaker 5: You're doing an excellent job.
Speaker 2: Well, we have Maddie Jay here on the phone as well.
Speaker 2: It might come as some surprise he's also number four.
Speaker 5: But dropping rap.
Speaker 2: We asked some questions, and this is a big thing
Speaker 2: when you're a dad. Kids ask some compromising and difficult
Speaker 2: questions and you have to navigate your way around how
Speaker 2: to answer them in the most sensitive kid like way. Now, Grant,
Speaker 2: if a child, if one of your children are any child.
Speaker 4: Well I've got some Shall we see how good it really?
Speaker 5: I think we need it.
Speaker 4: Grant, we've got some questions from kids. So let's see.
Speaker 4: Maddie get a pen and paper out.
Speaker 3: And this is how a number one dad would respond
Speaker 3: to these questions from their children.
Speaker 6: So this is a you going to ask Grant the
Speaker 6: lamb question because he lives in a farm, so this
Speaker 6: will be interesting to see.
Speaker 3: This is the one I want to know, you want
Speaker 3: the lamb question.
Speaker 4: This is a from a child to listen to Grant, Maddie. Lambs,
Speaker 4: lamb chops come from.
Speaker 7: That is our beauty.
Speaker 6: Lamb chops is from an.
Speaker 7: Ancient form of martial arts in which the lambs to
Speaker 7: protect themselves. The monks are heard would fight off foxes,
Speaker 7: and hence the term lamb chops because when they throw.
Speaker 6: Their little leg as they go.
Speaker 7: On the foxes made by God is good.
Speaker 5: So your children are just confused.
Speaker 7: We never draw the correlation to what's in the paddock
Speaker 7: and what's on the plate.
Speaker 4: No one is.
Speaker 6: Ready for that.
Speaker 5: We just call him choppies in our house choppinata very.
Speaker 3: Different households, the maddiej and Laura and then your households.
Speaker 2: We need to go with the first question that was
Speaker 2: asked to Matt because I'm also interested to hear how
Speaker 2: a number one dad would answer this.
Speaker 5: Maddie, how did I get mummy's tummy?
Speaker 7: How did I get in Mummy's tummy? Well, I'm glad
Speaker 7: you've asked.
Speaker 6: That because you one.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, because one day Mummy was sun baking and
Speaker 7: she was just lying back on a sunbed looking up
Speaker 7: at the sky, and she yawned right at the time
Speaker 7: as a stork flew over, and that stork had a
Speaker 7: poor grip on the sack of which you were hiding in,
Speaker 7: and it dropped down and as Mummy was yawning. It
Speaker 7: went down through her sophagus into her tummy and you're here.
Speaker 6: Hooray, we love you.
Speaker 2: Ah, that is beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 6: That's cannibalism. It's the circle.
Speaker 4: Are you learning made? Are you learning things?
Speaker 9: How?
Speaker 6: My answer was far better for reference. It was a
Speaker 6: car accident.
Speaker 7: All right, She's that's grim grand Dania.
Speaker 5: How will you be celebrating Father's Day tomorrow?
Speaker 7: I'm not like Maddie, which is just you know, going
Speaker 7: through my eleven stages of facial skin care just to
Speaker 7: get my paws and I think clean.
Speaker 5: Oh, a little work of the.
Speaker 7: Hands on kind of a guy who likes to get
Speaker 7: you know. You know what the best way to be
Speaker 7: the number one dad in the world is. It's really
Speaker 7: simple kids, particularly in the Australian summertime. Who wants to
Speaker 7: go out on the trampoline. Let's put the sprinkler underneath
Speaker 7: the trampoline and put some soap SuDS on top of
Speaker 7: the trampoline.
Speaker 4: You're with me. I'm so happy there.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm already taking his shirt off.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm leather it up all right. Australia's number one
Speaker 3: and number fourth daddy.
Speaker 5: Do you know what Matthew Johnson. You're my number one dad.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he's actually mine too.
Speaker 5: I think you're not actually my dad, but you know
Speaker 5: you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: Unless I said by Google, I don't care.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Happy Father's Day, you two. Thanks for coming on
Speaker 4: the show.
Speaker 6: That's all right.
Speaker 7: Maddie will always meet my daddy happy.
Speaker 4: It's getting weird.
Speaker 3: Oh, Grant Daniel there, everybody. You can get his podcast too,
Speaker 3: and that he hosts with his wife and mother of
Speaker 3: his children. It's all true. Go have a listen. That's
Speaker 3: Grant's podcast.
Speaker 5: This is why he's number one. He does a parenting podcast.
Speaker 4: A true good point. All right, we're done laws, We're done.
Speaker 8: For the day.
Speaker 2: We are, and we have a cracking episode coming up
Speaker 2: on Life on cart On Tuesday, and that is because
Speaker 2: Branding Hockley is going to be back.
Speaker 5: Yes, finally, after a long, long.
Speaker 2: Dried desert without her, she's back. We're talking about tall
Speaker 2: poppy syndrome on this week's podcast, and we're also going
Speaker 2: on a nice little trip to Cans doing it on
Speaker 2: location podcast record.
Speaker 4: I didn't know about this.
Speaker 5: I didn't tell you.
Speaker 4: Sorry, Strifted podcast only okay, fair enough.
Speaker 2: You can get all of that if you wherever you
Speaker 2: listen to your podcasts, the iHeartRadio app.
Speaker 5: Just look up Life on cart and you know the drill.
Speaker 5: Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, Tell
Speaker 5: your friends. And Shamna love because
Speaker 4: We love lave La Love