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Speaker 1: Yeah, I love women.

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Speaker 2: I love sexually. Are we talking or like you say.

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Speaker 1: It's not born from strength. I never felt like those

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Speaker 1: mothers that you see pushing a car off a kid.

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Speaker 1: I never felt strong. I felt weak, but I still

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Speaker 1: kept going.

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Speaker 3: He never said to pussy Galore, hey, what what are

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Speaker 3: you after? Hear from this experience that's awesome.

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Speaker 2: Penis in vagina.

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Speaker 4: Sex is the most enjoyable thing for a man.

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Speaker 1: I can't even say that.

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Speaker 4: I just have to that's right.

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Speaker 1: Why do people who show me it's so special that

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Speaker 1: they can't talk about the secret or whatever they do?

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Speaker 1: Do you know that? I'm like, how does do? Not?

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Speaker 3: Really?

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Speaker 4: Sharing how you're going is one of the best things

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Speaker 4: you can do for your mental health, But.

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Speaker 3: When you most need to tell someone how you're going,

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Speaker 3: it's often the hardest thing to do.

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Speaker 4: And if you don't address how you are, your feelings

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Speaker 4: confessed and lead to things like anxiety, depression, even suicide.

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Speaker 3: In this podcast, we ask a range of inspiring people

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Speaker 3: how they express themselves in the hope that we can

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Speaker 3: all learn something more about arguably life's most important.

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Speaker 4: Skill, to ask yourself, how am I feeling? How do

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Speaker 4: I express how I'm feeling. How do I share my mood?

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Speaker 4: We're here with Kate Kate Langrooky Kate. This is how

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Speaker 4: we kicked it off last time. I think it's a

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Speaker 4: great way to start. What is your mood at the moment?

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Speaker 2: How are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: Goodness? We've gone straight? What about that hello?

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Speaker 2: Hello? That was kind of the way I was trying

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Speaker 2: to do. It's like, how you going? How you going?

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Speaker 2: That way to say genuine how? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: How are you feeling? Do we want to go there?

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Speaker 1: I think I am Mordy.

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Speaker 2: Was saying this beforehand. What he was like, She's just

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Speaker 2: gonna flip everything on me to sit there.

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Speaker 1: You've got your racket worked out with charmers coming the

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Speaker 1: first player.

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Speaker 3: You you pick me like a nose, You read me

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Speaker 3: like a book.

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Speaker 1: But can I can?

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Speaker 2: I say? Okay?

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Speaker 3: So you just said you love me, and I really,

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Speaker 3: I really I enjoyed that because I love you too.

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Speaker 3: And I was going to actually DM you a couple

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Speaker 3: of weeks ago, and then I found out we were

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Speaker 3: going to have you in the studio. So I think

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Speaker 3: it's better to deliver this in person, to DM you

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Speaker 3: in person, just like the old days. And I wanted

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Speaker 3: to say to you that I've known you for a

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Speaker 3: while now and we've had interactions along the way, and

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Speaker 3: saying I've picked up around you is that I feel

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Speaker 3: like you have the freedom of not caring too much

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Speaker 3: what people think of you, whilst not losing any of

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Speaker 3: your met without losing any of your warmth. Well, and

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Speaker 3: I feel like that is a really really rare trait

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Speaker 3: that people have, and I think you have it in spades,

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Speaker 3: And you.

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Speaker 1: Know, I think it's probably more rare now I think

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Speaker 1: it is. I think you're right, it is rare, whether

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Speaker 1: or not I have it, but I don't. That's something

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Speaker 1: that if you work in the area that we work in,

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Speaker 1: which is basically you guys are talking for you know,

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Speaker 1: fifteen hours a week minimum without scripts. So at some

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Speaker 1: point you're going to say something and people are not

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Speaker 1: going to like it.

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Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, chances are, chances.

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Speaker 1: Are probably within the next minute. Don't turn off people.

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Speaker 1: But and in this you know, canceled and blah blah,

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Speaker 1: and so people are very fearful. They're very fearful of ideas,

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Speaker 1: They're very fearful to show themselves. And so that's why

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Speaker 1: I think people feel a bit malnourished by the media

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Speaker 1: that they're getting because everything's so sanitars because people are

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Speaker 1: anticipating how people are going to come for them before

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Speaker 1: they've even said anything. But someone asked me about this

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Speaker 1: the other day. A girlfriend of mine said, it not

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Speaker 1: the way that you did. But and I think it's

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Speaker 1: because I grew up already. Other so, because I was

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Speaker 1: raised to Jehovah's witness and there were never any other

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Speaker 1: Jehovah's witnesses at my school. And we lived in New

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Speaker 1: Guinea and with their only Jehovah's witness family and the

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Speaker 1: whole you know, in Boganville, and then in on Sahana,

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Speaker 1: this in li Ireland, whatever. So, and then when I

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Speaker 1: went to high school, there were like two other Jehovah's

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Speaker 1: witnesses and then they left in yu teen and I

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Speaker 1: was there. So I've always.

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Speaker 2: Been the outside.

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Speaker 4: So you've always had to put up with people questioning

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Speaker 4: your stance on things, or your viewpoint or where you

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Speaker 4: come from.

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Speaker 1: Maybe and maybe also and I.

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Speaker 4: Learned that if you burn them back, then you're just

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Speaker 4: going to screw that thing rather than maybe kind of

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Speaker 4: just being with it.

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Speaker 1: I think also it so the concept of like most

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Speaker 1: of us don't want to be cast out. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: the concept of being cast out is not It's not

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Speaker 1: that I want it and you know, but so the

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Speaker 1: concept of being cast out is not as scary for

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Speaker 1: me as because when I left the Jehivah's Witnesses, I

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Speaker 1: was cast out. I was already cast out from normal

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Speaker 1: Australian society because I was a Jehvah's witness. Then when

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Speaker 1: I left the Witnesses, I was cast out by them.

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Speaker 4: So it's like, how did they go When you say

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Speaker 4: you cast out of the Jehovah's Witnesses, does that mean

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Speaker 4: like excommunicated in the.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, were Catholic sort of terminology here.

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Speaker 1: Well, I wasn't formally, which was really lucky. So it

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Speaker 1: meant my parents could still talk.

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Speaker 4: That was the next question I was going to ask

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Speaker 4: your mum and dad, how did that affect your relationship

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Speaker 4: with them?

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Speaker 1: Well? I had five blissful years where they didn't talk.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's really.

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Speaker 1: Exactly great because when they were eighteen, when they were

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Speaker 1: talking to me, it was all like my mum saying

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Speaker 1: things like your father lies in the dark with tears

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Speaker 1: streaming down his face. Oh okay, you know.

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Speaker 4: So so you're eighteen, and then you're like, nah, not

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Speaker 4: for me, because I always knew yeah, but you had

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Speaker 4: to wait till you were an adult commas to be

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Speaker 4: able to say that and have all your rights so

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Speaker 4: you could actually nick off in your own terms.

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Speaker 2: And then they were like, I wanted it to.

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Speaker 1: Be right for me.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't that.

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Speaker 1: I was like the ironies. I used to pray to

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Speaker 1: Jehovah to make me a good Jehovah's witness, and guess what,

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Speaker 1: he didn't do it. He didn't.

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Speaker 4: So you know, it's a great trap, isn't it. Faith

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Speaker 4: in general is really still very clever set up, isn't it. Hey,

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Speaker 4: just keep tipping your time into this. It'll come back,

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Speaker 4: I promise. And then the really good people tell you

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Speaker 4: where it's come back to you, and.

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Speaker 2: You're like, oh wow, I didn't even realize.

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Speaker 1: So true. But of course you can't operate without faith act.

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Speaker 1: So it's just finding where we're that the balance is.

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Speaker 4: Have you.

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Speaker 3: And I really really don't mean that, and I've I've

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Speaker 3: thought about it for a while because I always feel

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Speaker 3: really great after our interactions. Oh but I laugh, and

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Speaker 3: You've got this warmth about you, and you you I

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Speaker 3: always walk away feeling more energetic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Good, I love that because that's what we try.

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Speaker 1: That's almost exactly what we're doing on the buck Up

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Speaker 1: my podcast Brilliant. Is that our money back guarantee that

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Speaker 1: you will feel better at the end of it than

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Speaker 1: you did at the start.

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Speaker 3: Yes, And I feel like I just think we're surrounded

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Speaker 3: by so many serious things now, which you know, it's

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Speaker 3: great that times are heavy the time, The times are

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Speaker 3: really really heavy, and it's really nice, I think when

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Speaker 3: you know, you can go so far the other way

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Speaker 3: sometimes just to get a break from the seriousness. Not

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Speaker 3: to say that we should all put it in the sand.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's important to know about the serious things

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Speaker 3: that are going on. But even now and then, it's

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Speaker 3: lovely to have an interaction with you or your podcast

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Speaker 3: where it's like, oh, I just got to laugh.

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Speaker 1: Because also I think that we've equated heaviness with worthiness,

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Speaker 1: and so everyone wants to be worthy and they don't

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Speaker 1: want to be seen to be casual or superficial, or

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Speaker 1: they want to be deep and they want to blood.

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Speaker 1: And that's great, it's great. It seems to be working

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Speaker 1: really well for the world right the same way that

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Speaker 1: comedy film has never won an Academy, But if you

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Speaker 1: put some putty on your nose and you then you

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Speaker 1: get an Academy Awards. True, not to say that that's

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Speaker 1: not that's not an accomplishment, but comedy is seen as

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Speaker 1: somehow being flippant and frivolous.

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Speaker 3: And not to be taken seriously.

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Speaker 1: And what you guys do is actually very important and

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Speaker 1: a gift to the world because that is what gives

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Speaker 1: people the breath and the strength and the life and

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Speaker 1: the joy to continue wading through the motor in the

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Speaker 1: top three and fod life.

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Speaker 4: Totally, I think it's grat that's a really great point,

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Speaker 4: I think, Kate, and because I've been thinking about it

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Speaker 4: the other da because I had a really I've got

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Speaker 4: a bad relationship with that because of the way that

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Speaker 4: I think my parents dealt with grief a lot of

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Speaker 4: the time, both of them in medicine, and it's always

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Speaker 4: like if something sad is coming up, it's always like,

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Speaker 4: this is heavy, We've got to get through with serious conversations.

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Speaker 4: And so I for a very long time, I think,

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Speaker 4: really probably before I met Woody, would be like, well,

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Speaker 4: this is I can't muck around here, And I think

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Speaker 4: a lot of the time on air, if we're talking

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Speaker 4: to someone and it's about something serious, I would find

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Speaker 4: myself trapped in it. But then I more recently have

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Speaker 4: discovered that the freedom and the release of laughter during

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Speaker 4: a really.

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Speaker 2: Tough time is like the people that can do that.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't mean that they don't they careless, No, It

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Speaker 4: almost just it's just for me trumpets the fact that

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Speaker 4: they're really wise because they're not so heavily involved with

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Speaker 4: it that they're able to still hold it close without

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Speaker 4: getting too caught up in it.

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Speaker 1: What drew you to like your your with your background,

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Speaker 1: what drew you to like comedy? It must have been

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Speaker 1: that that you must have known that you needed the

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Speaker 1: end to do. Maybe maybe because that's bizarre that it

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Speaker 1: is funny, yeah, I think, but also that you came

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Speaker 1: to comedy but with a really.

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Speaker 2: Deeper that's the sad.

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Speaker 1: You're a lucky guy. Amazing.

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Speaker 2: I want to tie that in.

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Speaker 4: You were mentioning your podcast before, and I feel this

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Speaker 4: kind of like ties in actually a few different things

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Speaker 4: that we were just talking about it then, because we're

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Speaker 4: just talking about the fact that the times are heavy,

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Speaker 4: there's sort of like a particularly there's a temperature in

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Speaker 4: the country right now, very much to do with the

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Speaker 4: relationship between women and men. And I really want to

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Speaker 4: talk to you about this because I was kind of

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Speaker 4: flicking through some notes here that I've got, and you are.

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Speaker 2: You are because you got this new podcast with Nate Balbo. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: that just.

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Speaker 4: Doesn't need to be heavy, going back to going back

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Speaker 4: to his room.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't need to be It doesn't need to be heavy.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't need to You've got this new podcast with

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Speaker 4: called The Buckup. Obviously, you're with Hughesy for nearly twenty years,

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Speaker 4: one on one with another guy there. Obviously, you've got

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Speaker 4: your relationship with Peter, and I feel like you are

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Speaker 4: and you've got three boys, and you're sort of heralded

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Speaker 4: as in a lot of ways, this beautiful, fun loving

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Speaker 4: free woman, but you work constantly so closely with men,

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Speaker 4: and I find that very interesting inspirational in a lot

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Speaker 4: of ways. And I because I often find myself as

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Speaker 4: a man in the current times, hating on my own species,

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Speaker 4: if you like, And I think not help exactly, and

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Speaker 4: I think the way out of this sort of the

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Speaker 4: way out of this sort of Mexican standoff, if you like,

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Speaker 4: between our sexes is people like you who are willing

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Speaker 4: to go. Yes, there are lots of deficiencies there, but

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Speaker 4: unless we kind of just get on with things, we're

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Speaker 4: not going to get anywhere. And I really want to

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Speaker 4: know how you work with men so well and why

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Speaker 4: you work with men so well.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Well, I think, like all relationships, that they work

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Speaker 1: best if they're I mean, this is going to sound

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Speaker 1: but if you love the person, and sometimes you have to,

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Speaker 1: like in any relationship, you have to find what you

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Speaker 1: love about them, so you don't necessarily start loving the

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Speaker 1: whole package. But I love talent for it, and I

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Speaker 1: love humor. So with Hugh, who was who's was so

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Speaker 1: complicated for a long time of our working relationship as

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Speaker 1: people are, well not for a long time actually, But.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that you called him.

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Speaker 1: I called him hue and I call him Huey because

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Speaker 1: my father, years and years when he was I was

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Speaker 1: doing community radio and Hughsey would come on once a

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Speaker 1: week if he remembered and his alarm went off to

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Speaker 1: he came on as a guest, and my father heard it.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know that he knew how to listen

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Speaker 1: to community radio, but he said to me, Oh, Dad's start.

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Speaker 1: He goes, oh, Huey, he's so cute. I find him

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Speaker 1: very cute, my dad said, And Hue just kind of stuck,

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Speaker 1: so I called him Hue anyway, So I think you

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Speaker 1: start the starters. I love men. I love me like I.

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Speaker 2: Love women, right, and like you love women? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I love women?

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Speaker 2: Well, right, I love sexually? Are we talking or like,

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Speaker 2: just like what do you say.

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Speaker 1: You wish now you become Karl Sandlin right now.

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Speaker 4: That's actually interesting because he said I love men and

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Speaker 4: then he said like I love women, and I was like, well,

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Speaker 4: hang on.

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Speaker 2: What way do you love them? The same way?

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Speaker 4: Like?

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Speaker 2: Are talking? You appreciate that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you know this will but there's

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Speaker 1: nuance in the world, okay, you know that in the

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Speaker 1: Bible there's names for all the different kinds of love.

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Speaker 1: Or the Greeks have got a gar pay, which is

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Speaker 1: romantic love, and phil Phila Philadelphia that movie Philos Philip.

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Speaker 1: Why are you nodding, Tom? I'm looking at him like

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Speaker 1: he nodded.

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Speaker 4: Like Philadelphia with Tom Hanks that's brotherly love.

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Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, so there's all they got.

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Speaker 1: Different names a ross erotic love anyway, So I have

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Speaker 1: some sort of I don't have the island of Lesbos

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Speaker 1: I've tried in the past.

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Speaker 4: You love them in the same way. It's just like

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Speaker 4: you love people in general. Like you're not blanking, you're

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Speaker 4: not discriminating between them.

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Speaker 2: Is different.

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Speaker 1: No, No, I'm just qualifying that that I it's not

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Speaker 1: a sexual thing. Yeah that if men were drowning in

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Speaker 1: a lake and women were drowning in a lake and

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Speaker 1: I could only rescue, yeah, I'd have to be hard.

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Speaker 1: I'd have to be a really good swinger. I'd be

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Speaker 1: like the door Entitanic only if you anyway, But I

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Speaker 1: think you look for what you love about the person.

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Speaker 2: This is awesome, yeah, what I love.

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Speaker 1: About But I do think in life that your strength

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Speaker 1: is often also your weakness. I just think it is

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Speaker 1: like women are kind and soft and gentle, not all

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Speaker 1: of them, but kind and soft and gentle and thoughtful

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Speaker 1: and anticipatory of other people's needs, and that means they

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Speaker 1: end up in professions where they're kind of exploited for that.

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Speaker 4: Traditionally, children overly consider it, so your.

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Speaker 1: Strength is your weakness for men, their physical strengths they're

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Speaker 1: grappling with. Is a is a literal strength, but it

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Speaker 1: can also be their weakness when it's turned against women.

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Speaker 1: So for me, the question is what happens in a

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Speaker 1: man that he would that that would happen to him,

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Speaker 1: And I believe what happens is pornography as a foundation confess.

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Speaker 1: So all these men who might be weeping and whatever

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Speaker 1: good mean with good intent going it's terrible and as men,

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Speaker 1: we need to call this out. Not many of them

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Speaker 1: are calling out pornograph.

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Speaker 2: Going home and you know exactly I can't.

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Speaker 1: Well that's well, that's it. And so you really it's

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Speaker 1: a time to really be honest with yourself about what

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Speaker 1: you want. And these are good me, not bad me.

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Speaker 4: No, no, no, but no that's a good point. Like

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Speaker 4: it is entirely like, no, it's not entirely. I shouldn't

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Speaker 4: say that, but a lot of this is like totally subconscious,

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Speaker 4: totally subliminal.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like, I mean, I know.

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Speaker 4: You've got boys as well, but I had to have

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Speaker 4: a pretty confronting conversation with my partner a couple of

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Speaker 4: months ago when she sent me a podcast about sex

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Speaker 4: which is on Diary of a CEO, which was with

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Speaker 4: this orgasm expert. I'm pretty sure I told the whole

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Speaker 4: team about it because I was so blown away by it,

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Speaker 4: and this chick just she was just like, can you

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Speaker 4: listen to this? And I were sort of like struggling

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Speaker 4: to have sort of like real intimacy and desire in

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Speaker 4: our relationship after we had baby, and anyway, I was

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Speaker 4: just going in there with my I now realize fifteen

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Speaker 4: year old boy understanding of sex, which I picked up

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Speaker 4: from listening to my mates talk about how they had sex.

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Speaker 4: And you know, everything else in your life, you watch

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Speaker 4: people as to how they do it, but sex, you're

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Speaker 4: not watching anybody up close.

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Speaker 2: To it that that's supposed to know exactly.

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Speaker 1: It's actually tree to everything that you know, the essence

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Speaker 1: of yourself, even though it's like seven eleven, open all

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Speaker 1: night to sell junk food. You know you're not supposed

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Speaker 1: to do, but it can. And so now we live

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Speaker 1: in a society where because we can, we think we

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Speaker 1: should yes, or we kind of just blur it out.

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Speaker 4: And I wish, but there was no way to do that.

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Speaker 4: When I was fifteen. All I could do was watch

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Speaker 4: this CD that got sent to me and you know,

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Speaker 4: listen to my mates. We got pasted around the whole

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Speaker 4: ye level. You probably had the same CD and we

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Speaker 4: all like we had a what's it called USB, and

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Speaker 4: we all watch the same ones, and then we'd go

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Speaker 4: and talk about him, and then we talk about how

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Speaker 4: we had whatever sexual encounters you have with the chicks

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Speaker 4: on the weekend, and then that until what I'm thirty

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Speaker 4: four now you know obviously had sexual experiences with different

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Speaker 4: women along the way who taught me different things along

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Speaker 4: the way. But it took a woman saying to me

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Speaker 4: at each stage, and thank you to all of those

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Speaker 4: women with enough patients to be like that, what are

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Speaker 4: you what are you doing?

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Speaker 2: Like that's not that's.

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Speaker 1: Not well, this is you know that ways for intimacy

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Speaker 1: have developing. Now, yeah, but they were stunted.

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Speaker 2: What happened. It's a clear cut.

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Speaker 4: And the first thing this woman says is that like penis,

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Speaker 4: penis in vagina, sex is the most enjoyable thing for

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Speaker 4: a man.

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Speaker 1: I can't even look at you when you say that.

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Speaker 1: I just have to look at that's right, look at what.

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Speaker 3: Should turn the lights off?

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Speaker 2: It would be weird.

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Speaker 1: Can we just slip out let him he noticed.

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Speaker 3: This world, and then we'll just slip back movies as well, right,

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Speaker 3: like it's obviously pornography, but like I I feel like

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Speaker 3: I learned a lot about sex just through Hollywood films.

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Speaker 3: And let's use James Bond as an example. James Bond. Bond,

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Speaker 3: James Bond never said he never said to pussy Galore, Hey,

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Speaker 3: what what do you have to hear from this experience?

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Speaker 2: Or like what's going to feel good for you here?

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Speaker 3: Bonding would just.

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Speaker 2: What exactly are you after?

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Speaker 1: Don't worry because they're recasting James Bond and they probably

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Speaker 1: will have like there'll be some kind of there'll be

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Speaker 1: some kind of sensitivity training he has to go. He'll

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Speaker 1: be diversity, equity and inclusion.

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Speaker 4: He'll be that guy that's going to be the villain.

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Speaker 1: But my, my, my thing is I think that men

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Speaker 1: are magnificent creatures and the reason that we are, that

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Speaker 1: we have survived as a species is because of the

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Speaker 1: characteristics that men have of aggression, of strength, of competitiveness,

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Speaker 1: of the hunting, the whatever. But in in our society,

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Speaker 1: when those are misplaced, misused or broken.

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Speaker 4: Or redundant as well well, Like also to the thought

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Speaker 4: where you you're kind of going into work with or

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Speaker 4: wherever wherever.

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Speaker 2: You're going in your life, you're you know, genetically imbued

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Speaker 2: with this idea that you're going to.

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Speaker 4: Get in there and kick some ass, and you're not,

404
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Speaker 4: and you've got and you don't do your taekwondo climbing

405
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Speaker 4: on the weekends right because you've got to take it out.

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Speaker 4: It's awful, I mean. And I don't like that excuse either,

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Speaker 4: which is the you know, well, you know, evolutionary sense.

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Speaker 4: I ended up here, like be better than that. But

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Speaker 4: if you're not conscious of it and you're not thinking

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Speaker 4: about it, one gets the better of you because.

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Speaker 1: You're not what your biology is one thing, you can

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Speaker 1: know the topic.

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Speaker 4: But I think but the point for me here, Kate,

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Speaker 4: is that you're in I'm not saying that either Nack

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Speaker 4: Valvo Shusy or your husband Peter are like this, but

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Speaker 4: I feel like, in each of those situations, and maybe

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Speaker 4: would he brought this up at the very start with you,

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Speaker 4: you are in a situation where you're able to kind

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Speaker 4: of absorb a lot and still I'll see where the

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Speaker 4: loving path is in each of those situations where you

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Speaker 4: are the woman with a man where a lot of

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Speaker 4: the time I imagine a lot of women, a lot

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Speaker 4: of women wouldn't be able to put up with or

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Speaker 4: have the patience or even the love to continue to

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Speaker 4: be who you are in a pretty male dominated space.

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Speaker 1: It is male dominated mostly, especially if you're work in comedy.

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Speaker 1: But I just I don't know. I think also, you know,

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Speaker 1: it takes two to tango, you can tango with more

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Speaker 1: than two. But I'm not judging anybody. But so there's

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Speaker 1: a willingness in all those people does mean to also

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Speaker 1: recognize in me, which not all male comedians have, by

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Speaker 1: the way, who are well historically just quite dismissive of

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Speaker 1: women or whatever whatever, not all of them. But I

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Speaker 1: just think it's I just love that engagement. I love

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Speaker 1: the engagement of the energy between you know, the classic

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Speaker 1: the yin and the yang, the feminine and the male,

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Speaker 1: the whatever. And I love that conversation. Yeah, I just

438
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Speaker 1: think it's beautiful and uplifting and everyone it gets to

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Speaker 1: enjoy each other in a way that is in a

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Speaker 1: way that he is perfect and sometimes sometimes the perfection

441
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,879
Speaker 1: is in the imperfection, as Hughesy taught me, and he

442
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,159
Speaker 1: also taught me a lot.

443
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 4: So can I go back to that, because this is

444
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,200
Speaker 4: you were in a great Spoty, You're talking about you're

445
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,560
Speaker 4: doing Communicator at Hughes's popping on every now and then

446
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 4: you're Huey And then you said, you need to find

447
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,880
Speaker 4: the thing that you loved in someone.

448
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 2: What was the thing that you loved in him?

449
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 1: I loved his self made manness, like properly wrong side

450
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 1: of the tracks, Like came from a background where you know,

451
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,560
Speaker 1: he he recognized in himself when he was like twenty

452
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,199
Speaker 1: one or whatever that the booze was. No.

453
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 2: He became a teetotaler, ye early early.

454
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,960
Speaker 1: And from his town wa for a while. Yeah, he

455
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 1: went to w A where he picked cucumbers. And I

456
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 1: still think of him. Interpret this how you will whenever

457
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: I handle a cucumber. I oftn't think of us it

458
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:28,360
Speaker 1: because he taught me when they're spiky, they're ready. Really, yeah,

459
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 1: they're right anyway.

460
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 2: It's great tonight. Yeah, that's great.

461
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,840
Speaker 1: Actually, now maybe it's when they're not spiky, they're ready anyway.

462
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 1: I just think of him when I'm handling. Anyway. He

463
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 1: did things, and he got into who was that book

464
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,720
Speaker 1: that had that self help that self help book? I

465
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: think it was a diet one as well. Whoever that was,

466
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: it must have been in the nineties. Yeah, made the

467
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: guy who died jogging anyway, whatever, and he loved it

468
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,639
Speaker 1: so much he bought copies of that book himself and

469
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,000
Speaker 1: went auto door selling them. He's always wanted to be

470
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 1: like to if he he always wants to spread the

471
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: truth of something that he knows.

472
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 4: Sometimes, which correlation there between your dad and him in

473
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 4: that sense?

474
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 1: Like it maybe I just admired what he had done

475
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: and then but he was quite like it was challenging,

476
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 1: no doubt, challenging for us to work out.

477
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 2: What you're dynamic.

478
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, But then I was just like, well, let's

479
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 1: just go and see. You know, I got four kids,

480
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,600
Speaker 1: I got a husband, I got life. I don't have

481
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 1: time to be analyzing myself. You analyze yourself too much.

482
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 1: I'm pointing at Will, by the way.

483
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,520
Speaker 2: Sure it's not me. It could be a little bit

484
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 2: of that myself.

485
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 4: Do you think there being a mum sort of changed

486
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 4: that as well? I'm sure because it has to write.

487
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:05,720
Speaker 1: I'm sure, Well, if you're doing it proper, but you're

488
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: not doing.

489
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 4: That right because all of a sudden you're like, how

490
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 4: I don't have time to think about myself, particularly when

491
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 4: you have four children.

492
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:20,480
Speaker 1: That's true, which is you know, like life that's testing,

493
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:24,640
Speaker 1: isn't it, And you don't like it because it's it's

494
00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 1: natural to want to for you not want to be

495
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: last on this list of needs. But then also I

496
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,880
Speaker 1: have to remind myself it was my idea.

497
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 2: That you were consenting.

498
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 3: It's things you used to stress about though, become not

499
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,880
Speaker 3: so stressful when you've got kids.

500
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 2: Yes, I find what what.

501
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,159
Speaker 1: Would you stress about before that?

502
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 2: You don't now.

503
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 3: Everything going through day to day. There'd be small things

504
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 3: that'd be like, I'm worried about that, I'm overthinking. Now

505
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 3: I've got a child, yes, and she's she's going well,

506
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 3: she's healthy.

507
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 1: And also when you I even sometimes think when you

508
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,400
Speaker 1: come in the door at the end of a day,

509
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 1: particularly when your kids are really little, that you would

510
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: I would be like, oh, I'm going to sit down

511
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 1: and try and turn on the television or whatever. But

512
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 1: you can't do that because you walk in the door

513
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 1: with someone who needs something immediately, like they need a

514
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 1: nappy change, or they need something to eat, or they

515
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,520
Speaker 1: need to get ready for beat, or they need to

516
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,159
Speaker 1: So you have to find in you even at the

517
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: point you thought you were at your lower step and

518
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 1: there was nothing left in the tank. You have to

519
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 1: find more in the tank, totally. And that's the that's

520
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 1: the and that's why I think parents are incredible and families,

521
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: Australian families like this whole. You know, the pressure that

522
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: people are under at the moment is just so cruel.

523
00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 1: And also why people don't have time to mute knee

524
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 1: auto because they don't have the time and they don't

525
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: have the energy.

526
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

527
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 4: An affair or something like that, because I know someone

528
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 4: said that to me the other day.

529
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 2: They were like they were like they were talking about.

530
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 4: The fact that they were, you know, worried about their

531
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 4: partner and like, you know, they were working a lot

532
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 4: and all this sort of stuff, and it actually came up,

533
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 4: was it, I want to bring up something that I

534
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 4: was watching last night, but I'll get there to a second,

535
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,920
Speaker 4: get there in a second, which was And anyway, she

536
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,880
Speaker 4: said to me, I think he's I think.

537
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: You're about to have an affair.

538
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 4: And I was like, I know this guy, he hasn't

539
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 4: good time to scratch his own ass right now.

540
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 2: He's so exhausted.

541
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 3: But there's still people.

542
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,680
Speaker 4: Of course, I want to I want to ask you

543
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 4: something about parenting because this sort of came to me secondhand,

544
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 4: but I thought it was the most brilliant analogy, and

545
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 4: I have one hundred percent plagiarized at a number of times.

546
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,000
Speaker 2: So I was talking to Hugh Van coleen Berg.

547
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 4: He had a third kid recently, and he said, he

548
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 4: bumped into you when he had a third kid, and

549
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,320
Speaker 4: you gave him an analogy about falling out of the

550
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 4: second level of a pub.

551
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: Can you. I can't actually remember it, but told me

552
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 1: that I said that, Okay, that was that you're so

553
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 1: drunk you hit the ground and you don't injure yourself.

554
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, because you're kind of falling through the year, but

555
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 4: you're so j so you don't stiffen up, you don't

556
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 4: break any bones. And I think you said to him

557
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 4: that's parenting. As soon as you accept that you're fucked,

558
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 4: you can relax.

559
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. And then it's like you were saying before, you

560
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: don't have time to eat and up about everything. You

561
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: just have to at some point like exhaustion or what

562
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 1: is a blessing in disguise, But the blessing is you're

563
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:39,800
Speaker 1: just like whatever.

564
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 4: So that turns in with this film I was watching

565
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 4: last night, Actually, what is recommendation, and and Tommy watched

566
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 4: I watched the Sofa couple of movie on the Rocks

567
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 4: with Bill Murray. Yeah, so basically, she thinks her partner

568
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 4: is having an affair Marlon Marlon Whites, and it's just

569
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 4: a couple of things that are going wrong her dad.

570
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 4: She's got this kind of like, you know, he kind

571
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 4: of very paternalistic relationship with her dad, but she loves him.

572
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 2: Rich playboy sweeps He's far from the truth, no exactly.

573
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 4: He sweeps in basically convinces her that the guy is

574
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 4: having an affair, her husband is having an effeir. And

575
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,640
Speaker 4: the movie is about the father and the daughter trying

576
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 4: to bust this girl's husband for what's going on. And

577
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 4: there's just such a great commentary, firstly on this generation

578
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 4: of dad's because and the position that the woman is

579
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 4: in in that scenario, which is so interesting because I

580
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 4: both have daughters. And there were so many moments where

581
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 4: I was watching it going, oh my god, I want

582
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 4: to be like Bill Murray. And then I realized that

583
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 4: the thing I was aspiring to was the thing that, no,

584
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 4: I can't. That's so funny that that's in my head.

585
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 4: But the other part about it, which I thought was

586
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,680
Speaker 4: really interesting. And what we were just touching on then

587
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 4: is she's a mum obviously, so she's stayed at home,

588
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 4: she's got two kids, her partners run around having an

589
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 4: affair whatever. He's big in business, and again it was funny.

590
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:04,560
Speaker 4: I was sitting next to him watching it, just like

591
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 4: we laughed about it.

592
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 2: I was like, this is just us. So many times

593
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 2: it's us.

594
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 4: And he said this line to her, which just just

595
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 4: totally cut me in half because I've definitely said it

596
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 4: to s him before while she's been at home being

597
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 4: a mum and I've been running around and I said

598
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 4: it was you need to make time for yourself, is

599
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 4: what he says to her. And it's just the most

600
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 4: out of touch line because you just I haven't got

601
00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 4: time to make time.

602
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: You can't make you can't make time.

603
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 2: Exactly, Like that is the most out.

604
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 1: Of it and you also know it and that but

605
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 1: you can't and that makes you angry, Yes, exactly, Yeah,

606
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: it makes you angry.

607
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,960
Speaker 4: Yeah. I really wanted to tie that in with a

608
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:47,120
Speaker 4: question everyone to ask you about being a mum and

609
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 4: being a person and how, if at all, you differentiate

610
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 4: between those two things, because I know, I see you

611
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 4: at music festivals from a distance sometimes and I know

612
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 4: that you're also a mum, and I kind of like,

613
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 4: I really admire that capacity that is was So there.

614
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: Was like a period in my life when I was

615
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: nothing but a mum, which was when Lewis and eldest

616
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: son had LUKENI So that was four years where I

617
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: was like, not even probably a mum. I didn't you know,

618
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:26,960
Speaker 1: I had three other little kids and I didn't have

619
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 1: a square to spear for anything except hospital or or

620
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: trying to give the other three or.

621
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 2: You know what stage of radio was that or career

622
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 2: was that.

623
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 1: That was when I was doing Breakfast Radio with Husy and.

624
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:45,880
Speaker 3: Over doing over Breakfast Radio, which we've done Breakfast Radio

625
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 3: four years, that by itself demanding, Yeah, you're getting up

626
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: really early every day, that five days a week, same

627
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 3: time Lewis has gone through.

628
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,480
Speaker 1: So there were a lot of those shows, particularly in

629
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: the first six months that I wasn't at that we

630
00:32:58,920 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 1: never explained on.

631
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,840
Speaker 2: It and would have known.

632
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 1: The whole team knew, and in fact a lot of

633
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,960
Speaker 1: journalists and stuff new that everyone was so respectful about it.

634
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: It was amazing at the time and now in a

635
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 1: circle knew, all the comedians knew, and you know, Mick

636
00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: molloy was amazing at the time and Hellia. They were

637
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 1: just like I think some mornings I would call Sash

638
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: our producer or from that when if I couldn't leave

639
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: the hospital or we were at home or whatever, a

640
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: million a million reasons, and I'd be like, I can't

641
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 1: make it, and they were like, whenever, whatever we will,

642
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 1: we will come. They were magnificent. Hughsey was magnificent and

643
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 1: our relationship went to another level, particularly one day when

644
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: he came into the children's hospital and it was Melbourne

645
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,440
Speaker 1: Cup Day. I think for some it was some Horsey day.

646
00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 1: And I remember they've set up like TV, little TV station,

647
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 1: but the kids were they were kids were supposed to

648
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,000
Speaker 1: do their own content, but they couldn't, and so there

649
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 1: were some adults. They got so excited, the grown ups

650
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: who were running this kid's TV station, that Hughesy was

651
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 1: coming in. So they asked him, and I said, I'll

652
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: ask him if he'll come down, and of course he

653
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:21,320
Speaker 1: always would say yes, but it was so confronting and

654
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 1: it was so hard, and he was just so beautiful.

655
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: But afterwards I was just so full of respect for him,

656
00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 1: anyone who any of our friends who walked into the

657
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 1: children's hospital, into the cancer unit, or I'm sure other

658
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 1: parts of the hospital. It is. I do not underestimate

659
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 1: the gift and what it took for them to do that.

660
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,960
Speaker 1: And I also understand friends of ours who couldn't and didn't.

661
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 2: Oh wow, okay, yeah, because it's just too much.

662
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, because they just couldn't. They couldn't or too

663
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: or whatever. They were too shallow, too too much empathy,

664
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 1: too brutal for them to whatever whatever. You know. Humans.

665
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: So in that period I was nothing but a mom,

666
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: and then I as the kids got a little bit older,

667
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 1: and then.

668
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 4: We got to rejey, can I just take you back

669
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 4: there were you're just like that period, I only know

670
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 4: how to be a mom. Is that just because your

671
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 4: instincts just in overdrive there, or you're just like, I've

672
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:24,439
Speaker 4: got to look after this boy.

673
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 2: And that's the only thing that matters, is it?

674
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 1: If you have ever tried to save someone from dying,

675
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,520
Speaker 1: which you know, as my mom sayes, you know you

676
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: live long enough, bad things are going to happen, which

677
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,959
Speaker 1: will happen to everyone. If you live long enough, someone

678
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 1: you love will die. When you have a child. Your

679
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 1: father instinct, which was interesting with Peter, and mother instinct

680
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 1: is I have to keep this child alive. Yeah, it

681
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: just is like who else is going to do it?

682
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: And even when there were times where it seemed like

683
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:11,799
Speaker 1: we were losing, that was so terrible. You couldn't even

684
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:17,839
Speaker 1: fathom how people could continue beyond that. And I'm very

685
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 1: cognizant of the fact that we had a favorable outcome eventually.

686
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 1: But the impetus that you have, it's not born from strength.

687
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 1: I'd never felt like those mothers that you see pushing

688
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,080
Speaker 1: a car off a kid. I never felt strong. I

689
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 1: felt weak. Wow, I felt weak, but I still kept going.

690
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 2: Yes, ironically, is the strength, isn't it?

691
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess that's true. That's true. But never

692
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 1: felt like I'm a supermm or I'm a whatever. And

693
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 1: sometimes when I would go into the show, it would

694
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,840
Speaker 1: be the only two or three hours a day that

695
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: wasn't abat cancer, and it was such it was so.

696
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 2: How funny is that radio salvation?

697
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:14,960
Speaker 3: Salvation which is often it's like and you get to

698
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 3: just put your life aside for along two hours hours

699
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:19,279
Speaker 3: and just go back to it.

700
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: And even though it was always there and everywhere, and

701
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 1: it must have been, and especially for the people around

702
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:29,400
Speaker 1: me who knew, you know, but that was the I

703
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 1: don't know that was I was just taking anything that

704
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:33,680
Speaker 1: was a salvation at that point.

705
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 3: And what made you decide, Kate to eventually tell people

706
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 3: and by people, I mean Australia when you when you

707
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 3: So it was.

708
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 1: Actually on Lewis's birthday or my birth to His birthday

709
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: is the day before mine, so I'm the eighth of

710
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: the eighth and he's the seventh of the eighth, so

711
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 1: he was like such a good birthday present. And on

712
00:37:55,120 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 1: his birthday when he had finished treatment, so he must

713
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:04,879
Speaker 1: have been ten. It must have been the day after

714
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 1: I think it was my birthday. I came in and

715
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 1: I just said to Sash, I'm going to talk about it,

716
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: and she knew instantly and Hugh's it. They knew instantly

717
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,879
Speaker 1: what that meant. And his he was like, are you sure,

718
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: and I went, yes, I have to, because this is

719
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: this is you know, sometimes you.

720
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 4: Have to.

721
00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: You have to pave the way by welcoming what you

722
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 1: hope is going to happen, rather than waiting for it

723
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 1: to happen.

724
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,799
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean, almost like what people

725
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 4: would say, like almost like manifesting it till you make it.

726
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 1: Or whatever, like you feel shit, you put on a smile,

727
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 1: you feel much better than you would go out with

728
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 1: a grimace, even though you don't think it was like that.

729
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 1: And also I had to believe that everything was all

730
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 1: right so now I could share it. And also it

731
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 1: was Lewis's story when he was sick, and I also

732
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 1: could not have borne it to be with him publicly,

733
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 1: which I was with a bald child, but for people

734
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 1: to be coming up and I just didn't have that

735
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: for those conversations either. I just didn't have it. But

736
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,800
Speaker 1: then I was like, you know what, it's time. And

737
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 1: also because of our relationship with our listeners, I didn't

738
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: want to have that as a secret, and I wanted

739
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 1: to be able to talk to Sash and Hughesy about it.

740
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: So we talked about it that morning, and I think

741
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,640
Speaker 1: Hughsey had the way with all to go, well, don't

742
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: talk about at six o'clock.

743
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 2: In the morning, people are still waking up. He's great.

744
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 1: And also that was actually appropriate because then I had

745
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: to call Louis, I had to call Peter, my husband, say,

746
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 1: this is my mother in law and so members of

747
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: the family and my mum and dad to say, I've

748
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: got a weird situation that we're in in that respect,

749
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 1: that like, there are people that listen to.

750
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 4: You enough for you to feel as if you're not

751
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:22,759
Speaker 4: being honest to them, not sharing what's going on in

752
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 4: your life. And I don't know about but you always

753
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 4: feel like if I'm on air, I mean it's the

754
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,360
Speaker 4: same when I've got mental health issues and almost like

755
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,680
Speaker 4: I can't I can't fake this, and I.

756
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 2: Know that you can kind of tell that I'm not

757
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 2: all the way right.

758
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think that's what you I think you

759
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:45,239
Speaker 1: owe the agree and that's why, you know, going back

760
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 1: to you saying about you know, people feeling free on

761
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 1: me being free to be myself, I think that's what

762
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 1: we owe the audience. So I hate, oh God, I

763
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,800
Speaker 1: hate that Poe face. It's pulled a prop because or

764
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 1: whatever I make people being Yet I hate people being performative,

765
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: and it is showbiz, so there is an aspect of

766
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:13,319
Speaker 1: it as well. But I think the reason that there's

767
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 1: no people like show people who smile when they are

768
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: low is because you find that part of yourself and

769
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 1: bring that forward without without hiding the other part. It's

770
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,320
Speaker 1: real there. But also because that is what the people

771
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 1: who the band that played while the Titanic was what

772
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,759
Speaker 1: Why isn't there a fucking movie made about them?

773
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:40,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

774
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's all right for Leo with his twenty

775
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: six year old models. Yeah great, you're the king of

776
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 1: the world. We know, mate, But what about the band

777
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 1: that played while the Titanic was going down? Those people,

778
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,440
Speaker 1: those and we are That is what showbus is. Yeah,

779
00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 1: well said, there's showbiz people. And I think I reckon

780
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: that that is just what you And also why do

781
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,240
Speaker 1: people in showing they're so fucking special that they can't

782
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:13,480
Speaker 1: talk about the relationship secret or whatever they do?

783
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:14,120
Speaker 2: Do you know what?

784
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 1: People say that, I'm like, how does it get fucked sound?

785
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 2: Really?

786
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 1: You think that falling in love is so peculiar.

787
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 2: To you special before that? Who cares? And you're making

788
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 2: it a big.

789
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a conceit anyway, That's what I think.

790
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 2: So hang on, So this, thank you, This is such

791
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 2: a good answer.

792
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 4: But I just I do want to get back to

793
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,520
Speaker 4: because I think you are we're talking about you being

794
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 4: your mum and Lewis is Okay. Now, so this instinctive

795
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 4: motherly muscle has maybe relaxed a little bit, is there.

796
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 2: Do you feel a bit of an opening after Lewis

797
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 2: is sort of stable and then am I.

798
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 1: Again a bit of a while to not have a

799
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 1: trigger finger? Yeah, And then that was sort of came

800
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: with the process of his recovery, which was then we

801
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: had monthly checkups, and then three monthly checkups, and then

802
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,759
Speaker 1: six monthly checkups, and now we have annual checkups. And

803
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,040
Speaker 1: now he's in the long term effects clinic because he

804
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 1: had radiation and he had chemos so he's so it's not.

805
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 2: It's not it's not over.

806
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: Well, I hope it's over, but it's not done, if

807
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:37,720
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So, but I say everyone

808
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 1: has a cloud over them, and most of us just

809
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: don't know what our cloud is. But with Lewis, we

810
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,759
Speaker 1: know what the cloud is. It's a very sort of

811
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: different way to live. But yet we also execute through faith,

812
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: our faith that he is a part of the world

813
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 1: and will continue to be a part of the world.

814
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: Is a beautiful part of the world that you that

815
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 1: you just continue hoping everything will be all right.

816
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:12,919
Speaker 3: So I don't know the cloud with my daughter Remy,

817
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 3: because but at this point it's you know, she's been

818
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 3: really healthy and she's healthy.

819
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:20,160
Speaker 1: Right, clouds when she's like ninety eight. Yeah, do you

820
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 1: know what I mean? That's what we all hope for. Yeah,

821
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,439
Speaker 1: but I mean I hope I haven't wished you're too young.

822
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, But it's funny, like I do. I have moments

823
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:35,960
Speaker 3: though where I just it's funny. It's almost been I'm

824
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,840
Speaker 3: most happy. It's really weird how this happens. But like

825
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:40,280
Speaker 3: when I'm in a really joyful moment with my partner

826
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 3: Mim and Remy, and that's when just where it comes from.

827
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 3: But something pops into my head of something horrific happening

828
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,800
Speaker 3: to Remy. Yeah, and it really dragged me out of

829
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:52,480
Speaker 3: a moment, and I don't really know how to express

830
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 3: that emotion or deal with that emotion, so sort of

831
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:56,959
Speaker 3: naturally it just kind of like just put that away

832
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 3: and like that's just that's not even real. But h

833
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 3: My question to you then is, because you have experienced

834
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:08,719
Speaker 3: the cloud with lewis, what's that like thinking about your

835
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 3: children now? But I think we all as parents, you know,

836
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:15,560
Speaker 3: you worry about your kids, about them healthy and happy

837
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:19,240
Speaker 3: and getting through life. Has that changed since you actually

838
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 3: really did experience well, very close to the death of

839
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 3: one of you.

840
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: Well, I think I care less. I care less about risk. Ye,

841
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:38,880
Speaker 1: I care less about broken bones, do you know what

842
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 1: I mean? And not that I don't care, but I

843
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: know the things. I think it's really important for the

844
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 1: children to assert themselves in the world and to ride

845
00:45:54,719 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: their bikes and to walk home and to We live

846
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:05,040
Speaker 1: in Saint Kilda, so we were like one of the terrible.

847
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 4: You also grew up in Papua New Guinea, mate, that is,

848
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 4: you know, the most dangerous country in the world by some.

849
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 1: Means correct what the parts we were in at that

850
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,880
Speaker 1: time were okay, But you couldn't drag me back then.

851
00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:18,840
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no exactly.

852
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:23,439
Speaker 4: So I feel like that's asterizing with what I'm talking

853
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:25,440
Speaker 4: about about, this sense of independence that you carry. And

854
00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 4: it's funny you said that your dad's Dutch and my

855
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 4: partner's Dutch, and there's a stoic hectic but I can't.

856
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 4: There are times when I look at my daughter now

857
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 4: and she's nearly two, and I look at her and

858
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,400
Speaker 4: I almost feel a bit of strange from her because

859
00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:44,160
Speaker 4: she is so independent and that she picks herself up,

860
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 4: and the way that she dusts herself up and the

861
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:47,319
Speaker 4: way that she'll walk into a group.

862
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 1: She's okay, Dad, which one of us is to be.

863
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:53,080
Speaker 2: Because you seem to do a lot of dunk.

864
00:46:59,480 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: Like that.

865
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:04,719
Speaker 4: And I see in you what I seeing Sam as well,

866
00:47:04,800 --> 00:47:07,880
Speaker 4: which is just like her dad the same things. Her

867
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 4: dad is just like we just we just carry on, mate,

868
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 4: and I'm going to let.

869
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 2: You go and do your things.

870
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 1: They ride their bikes in the run, so he is.

871
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 1: They ride their bikes in the ring. They live in

872
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 1: a country that they had to took back from the ocean,

873
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:28,359
Speaker 1: and they wear shoes carved out of and find them

874
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: comfortable like these people are not.

875
00:47:31,880 --> 00:47:34,360
Speaker 4: So there's a sense of independence that comes with that.

876
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:37,919
Speaker 4: But it's also a beautiful sense of lays a fair

877
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,279
Speaker 4: because I think you can look at that and you

878
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 4: can go that hardens people, but it also opens them

879
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 4: because it's true and I feel like that's that's conduction,

880
00:47:47,719 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 4: this place where you I feel, that's the space that

881
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 4: I feel where you are as a sense of individuality, openness.

882
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,680
Speaker 4: But then also it might come across as to lays

883
00:47:56,719 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 4: a fair, but it really comes from a place of

884
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 4: love that that you know, like, if I don't let

885
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 4: you go and figure that out by yourself, then I'm

886
00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,839
Speaker 4: going to hurt you in the future because you haven't

887
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 4: figured it out by yourself, which I I That lesson

888
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 4: for me didn't stick until I said and I had

889
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,640
Speaker 4: a screaming argument about our child, and she was like

890
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:16,799
Speaker 4: it was really simple. It was her.

891
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 2: Of a ledge or something.

892
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 4: And I was like, I'm just going to go and

893
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 4: take her off that and she was like, that ledge

894
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:24,879
Speaker 4: is going to be in this house for the next

895
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 4: five years.

896
00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 2: She's one year old, and I reckon, it's about half

897
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:34,839
Speaker 2: a meter.

898
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: I can't. Yeah, I get it.

899
00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:38,319
Speaker 4: And I'm looking at that going, well, it's just going

900
00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 4: to end badly. I know it's going to end badly.

901
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 4: You know it's going to end badly. We had the

902
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:43,319
Speaker 4: same thing with bees the other We had a bee

903
00:48:43,320 --> 00:48:45,320
Speaker 4: in the backyard and I'm allergic to bees, and I

904
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 4: said to him. I was like, all right, well, there's

905
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 4: a couple of bees out here. She's barefooted. I'm just

906
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:50,279
Speaker 4: going to get her out here. And she was like,

907
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 4: this bees out there. Let's get her stung as quickly

908
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 4: as we can because we're both here right now if

909
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:57,920
Speaker 4: what that is just.

910
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 2: The inverse of how I would deal with the situation.

911
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:05,320
Speaker 1: But okay, so you know the secret to the Dutch

912
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:11,880
Speaker 1: is they have a saying about the rain because it

913
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,320
Speaker 1: rains all the time and all the time in hold

914
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 1: and as opposed to the Italians who are terrified of

915
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 1: the rain and will not go out in the rain,

916
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 1: a country where I spent two years, right, and they

917
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:25,799
Speaker 1: lose their minds if you go out with wet hair,

918
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 1: like they just can't Yeah, they just don't look. But

919
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,920
Speaker 1: it's just bad. And they've got like forty expressions for

920
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: sore throat, right, it's just said the rain, wet hair

921
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 1: or whatever. The Dutch have got a saying. You're not

922
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:45,279
Speaker 1: made of sugar, you won't melt. That's what you use

923
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 1: that too. You've had a baby with and you know

924
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:52,280
Speaker 1: what will You're not made of sugar, you won't melt.

925
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 1: So sometimes you like but it's you know, you don't

926
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 1: who wants to be out in the drizzling rain. But

927
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,279
Speaker 1: the Dutch know that if you don't go outside the

928
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,280
Speaker 1: drizzling rain, you won't do anything.

929
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 4: And you sum this up so beautiful before when you

930
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:08,920
Speaker 4: were talking about the and you get really passionate about it,

931
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:10,880
Speaker 4: which I find really interesting about the guys who are

932
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 4: playing off on the Titanic in this like the sense

933
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:15,920
Speaker 4: of and it's not blink. There's a real difference here,

934
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 4: and I think this is really important to point out.

935
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 4: It's not blind masculine stoicism, which is ignoring what's going

936
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 4: on and carrying on and then repressing it and then

937
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:26,959
Speaker 4: becoming a piece of shit because you hate yourself because

938
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 4: you haven't listened to how you're feeling. It's not that

939
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 4: it's acknowledging the fact that you have got something going on,

940
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:35,560
Speaker 4: but you can kind of smile with it and you

941
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:36,759
Speaker 4: can live with it, and you don't have to be

942
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 4: a cunt because.

943
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 2: It's going on.

944
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:42,279
Speaker 1: Well, that's herosism, and I feel like and that's one

945
00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:45,239
Speaker 1: of the but also that's what men have done for

946
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:51,600
Speaker 1: thousands of years, like men who have gone down minds

947
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,279
Speaker 1: to work to provide for their families or till the

948
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 1: soil or whatever they've done, or gone out hunting. That

949
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 1: is the beauty of mean and how men have provided

950
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: and protected. That's beautiful about men and when that's qualities

951
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 1: are coming to play, and I think that's what women

952
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:14,160
Speaker 1: are asking of you, guys, is can you activate those

953
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 1: parts of you that recognize what is beautiful about us

954
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,840
Speaker 1: and wants to protect that. And I don't mean in

955
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 1: a paternalistic sense.

956
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,320
Speaker 2: I mean literally, don't be overbearing about it.

957
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,279
Speaker 1: Keep your eyes out and sometimes that might men keeping

958
00:51:32,320 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: an eye on some of your male friends or whatever,

959
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:39,719
Speaker 1: or a neighbor or but just treasure what is beautiful

960
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:43,759
Speaker 1: about us and what we bring to your lives. That

961
00:51:43,880 --> 00:51:47,719
Speaker 1: we bring, the Christmas dinners and the you know, things

962
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,400
Speaker 1: that you might not even think are important. The girls

963
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: on your team who remember people's birthdays and who whatever,

964
00:51:54,280 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 1: Tom who bakes bread. I am bring the best of

965
00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: yourselves as men, which is your capacity to protect and

966
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 1: to work. And as my girlfriend Rachel once said of

967
00:52:11,840 --> 00:52:16,759
Speaker 1: her boyfriend, who was a very hard guy to understand

968
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:20,320
Speaker 1: because he was almost monosyllabic, but she said to me

969
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:25,040
Speaker 1: one day, he would carry me through the snow.

970
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:27,959
Speaker 3: Your life.

971
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,760
Speaker 1: What's not to love about that? And conversely, women, maybe

972
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 1: let ourselves cherish that about you, you know, I mean,

973
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 1: what do I know? You know? What a lot? You

974
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 1: know a lot?

975
00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 2: Okay? I want to finish by asking how are you going?

976
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 2: What's your mood because what I thought, as well, my reader,

977
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:51,239
Speaker 2: is that you.

978
00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 3: I mean, here's the thing, Kate, I actually I don't know,

979
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 3: because I think you are so good at everything we've

980
00:52:57,600 --> 00:52:59,880
Speaker 3: been talking about here. And I'm not saying you're hiding anything.

981
00:53:00,120 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 3: I think if there is, if there.

982
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 1: Is something strict search coming on, if there.

983
00:53:05,080 --> 00:53:07,239
Speaker 3: Is something going on with you right now, you are

984
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,800
Speaker 3: one of those violin players on the Titanic, and you

985
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 3: are a.

986
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 1: Well you know what bring to love about this?

987
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:13,680
Speaker 4: Right?

988
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 1: So? You guys like it's just uplifting, isn't it. It's

989
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:24,160
Speaker 1: great beautiful? So I feel like the buck up. You

990
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 1: have given me a buck up. I feel better now

991
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 1: than I did at the start, and I felt fine

992
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:30,920
Speaker 1: at the start, just a bit hungover from our from

993
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:34,839
Speaker 1: our mutual friends yesterday and a long lunch and then

994
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 1: a girlfriend's party. I feel great.

995
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 2: That's great.

996
00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 1: I feel really good. And I love seeing your faces.

997
00:53:40,360 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 1: I love seeing him the Baker. Blessed be the Baker.

998
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 4: Kate's great to see you. Kate's got a bran new

999
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 4: podcast with Nate Valveo. It is called The buck Up.

1000
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:52,279
Speaker 4: You can get it wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks

1001
00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:54,320
Speaker 4: for coming on, Love, you It's been a pleasure.

1002
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, we love you too.

1003
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 1: Thank you.

1004
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 2: Great to see you.

1005
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:00,879
Speaker 1: I'll see you again. Jo Chow

1006
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:10,359
Speaker 4: Turn aroun