WEBVTT - Voluntary torture ☠️ 0:00:08.400 --> 0:00:11.680 Hello, it's art simone, and aren't you lucky to be 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:14.880 graced with me in your ear holes? And your luck 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:18.120 doesn't stop there, no, because I have been working so 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:21.320 hard to find you everyday regular jobs that have an 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.360 interesting side to them, and then bring you the stories 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:28.400 of their weird jobs and sometimes scandalous hobbies. Let's meet 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:30.560 our regular Joe Roll the type. 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:37.600 Hello. My name is Darren and I'm thirty nine years old. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.640 I'm from Melbourne, Victoria. I've been working in the public 0:00:40.640 --> 0:00:43.040 sector for many years and in my spare time I 0:00:43.159 --> 0:00:45.520 like to hang out in comedy venues performing a little 0:00:45.520 --> 0:00:48.400 bit of comedy magic, but mainly doing sound and lighting them. 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:53.120 But I am concealing something that's pretty wild. 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:56.240 Wild. Well, Hollo, Darren, how are you? 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:57.280 I am great? 0:00:57.440 --> 0:00:59.000 Here you are in front of me. You've got your 0:00:59.120 --> 0:01:01.319 nice cap on, you got her a glasses. I'm trying 0:01:01.320 --> 0:01:03.040 to see if it's giving me any clues here today. 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:07.920 We've got a T shirt with a mountain yep oh ashemo, oh, 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:12.080 I don't know her. There is a chilly day today. 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:14.080 So you've got a nice little jacket and what is 0:01:14.080 --> 0:01:15.240 it around your neck? What's that? 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:16.760 It's a crocodile. 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:18.240 You've got a crock around your neck? 0:01:18.319 --> 0:01:18.520 Yeah? 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:20.440 Is that a clues that a clueman run that down? 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.880 Kroc neck? I've got a shit neck, but that's close enough. 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:26.399 But all right, So you know I'm from Melbourne. I 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:28.120 did you say comedy magic? 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:28.920 Yeah? 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:29.840 Please explain. 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:34.440 So I don't call myself a magician because I don't 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:35.240 like magicians. 0:01:36.720 --> 0:01:38.560 So I wanted to be a magician when I grew up, 0:01:38.560 --> 0:01:41.399 when I was a little kid. So yeah, that rude, no, 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:44.040 But okay, So what makes the comedy magician? Do you 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:45.000 just do bad tricks? 0:01:45.319 --> 0:01:47.800 Yeah? Pretty much. So my stage name is so you 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:49.560 know how You've got like the amazing Mumford and you 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:53.840 know all of these people. So I'm Melbourne's most mediocre magician. 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.160 So my stage name is the kind of okay Darren, 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:02.440 it's a bit of fun. And you said lighting and sound, Yeah, 0:02:02.440 --> 0:02:05.440 That's what I'm doing at the moment. Buttons, yeah, and 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:06.400 slide some things. 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.840 Yeah, I'm not very good at that, but I just 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:13.680 know I like lots of fall back, fold back, fall back. 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:15.520 The tech always yells at me because I call it 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.520 the wrong one. Which one is it? Tell me the 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:17.960 fold back? 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:18.200 Yeah? 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:20.519 Fall back, back, fold back. I call it fall back, 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:25.000 fall back. Yes, I'm an idiot, that's okay. So what 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:27.040 I'm going to do is ask you three questions, and 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.800 from the answer to those three questions, I have to 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:33.600 determine what it is you were concealing from me today. Okay, 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:34.640 are you ready? Right? 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:35.079 Yes? 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:40.160 Okay. Question number one, what is the worst injury you've 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:40.840 ever had? 0:02:41.840 --> 0:02:46.080 Oh, that's tough, because I've had a lot, had a 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:51.080 lot just prone to slipping, Like, yeah, yeah, if you 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:52.960 ask my fiance, I'm very accident prone. 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:55.880 I had a workplace injury and I had to have 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:59.720 surgery on my right hand. Oh, that's probably the worst 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:00.560 injury I've had. 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:04.480 What workplace can you not tell me? Oh? This is 0:03:05.080 --> 0:03:08.399 to be okay, workplace injury on the hand, we're talking 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:11.720 about prone to accidents. I am such a klutz that 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:13.520 I remember when I was a kid, I was like, Oh, 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.320 I'm going to pretend to slip on a banana pee 0:03:15.440 --> 0:03:17.640 like all the people in the cartoons do. And I 0:03:17.680 --> 0:03:19.000 was like doing it in front of the family, Like 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.480 isn't this silly? And then I slept and smashed my face. 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:25.680 So I get you, okay. I also broke my foot 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:29.160 a few weeks ago by just walking down some stairs. 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:32.160 Oh at three pm in the afternoon. So bad in 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:32.920 flat shoes. 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:34.880 I don't I understand. I've got a pinch nerve in 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.960 my shoulder at the moment. And who's mentioning it? Oh? 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:40.560 My muscles. It's really annoying. But I used to do 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:42.800 stunt work. I used to like fall down stairs, get 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:44.680 hit by cars, jump out of buildings. 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:46.680 I mean, it's a pretty good crier to be. And 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:49.080 if you're prone to accident, yea true, you're like, I've 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.400 fallen so many times in my life that I may 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:52.800 as well get paid for it. Yeah. 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:55.680 I never got injured doing that, but this pinch nerve. 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:58.160 I got that by doing the very dangerous thing of 0:03:58.240 --> 0:03:59.080 going to bed. 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:01.640 A lot of people die beds, yep, So I think 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:02.880 it's a big killer in the world. 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:05.040 So why has this not been raised before? 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:07.520 I know, I know. Look, we'll start a campaign after this. 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:11.560 But okay, question number two, if you could invite anyone 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:14.920 to dinner, dead or alive, who would it be. 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:18.440 That's an easy one for me. David Attenborough David. 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:23.000 Ashenborough, Okay, well he could be dead soon, so that's 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:27.560 a good question. Question. You're safe with the director, okay. 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:30.520 And number three, if I had a tattoo gun and 0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.920 I was forcing you to get a tattoo right now, 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:36.120 where would you get it and what would it be of? 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:42.640 I would get a hummingbird on my ribs under my 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:43.320 left arm. 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:45.440 Oh, it's all very specific, isn't it. 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:46.599 I've thought about this one. 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:53.200 Ribs left. Okay, let's look at the picture you've painted 0:04:53.240 --> 0:05:00.479 for me here today, Darren magic lighting, crocodile on the neck, ruises, 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:09.440 damaged hand, hummingbird on your left ribs and David Attenbrough Yeah, wow, Wow, 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:12.240 that's It's a whole load of shit, isn't it. Yeah, 0:05:12.360 --> 0:05:16.520 that's okay, No, okay, So I'm getting animals, right, I'm 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:20.000 getting animals because you know David Abrah, you know, or 0:05:20.800 --> 0:05:24.640 David and just like speaks really calmly. You know, maybe 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:28.200 maybe you're really into calm things. Maybe you're like maybe 0:05:28.200 --> 0:05:35.120 you make candles. That's in the maybe right, you know, 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:37.800 because that would make sense, you know, because with a hand, 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.240 the workplace accident could have been oh no, yeah, because 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:43.520 the workplace accident could have been putting your hand in 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:47.000 molten like candle wax. No, I think that's all pointing 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.160 to it. It makes sense. I think it really makes sense. 0:05:49.360 --> 0:05:52.960 And medium open magicians they work with fire, so maybe 0:05:53.279 --> 0:05:57.000 you just gotten some experience in the flame world. So, Darren, 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:58.440 are you a candle maker? 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:05.880 I am not? Oh No, I am a wildlife presenter, 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:10.720 which means that I take snakes, spiders, sharks, sea stars, octopus, 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:13.880 a whole range of different animals into kindergartens and schools 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.080 to teach kids about conservation. 0:06:17.600 --> 0:06:20.640 I always go in the right direction that I doubted myself. 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:30.440 So Darren isn't a candle maker, he is a wildlife presenter. 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:33.120 Do you think he knows range of stacy? Do you 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:34.880 think this is my moment to be on totally wild? 0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:48.159 All right? So we're here with Darren, who is not 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:51.440 a candle maker. Do you like candles? 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:52.920 I do like candle It's good to know. 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:55.440 All right, we can be friends. But you're actually a 0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:58.760 wildlife presenter. Please explain what is that entail? What do 0:06:58.839 --> 0:06:59.800 you do well? 0:06:59.839 --> 0:07:03.240 I work with children and animals. They say that you 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:05.480 shouldn't work with children or animals, but they don't say 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:06.640 that you shouldn't work with children. 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:07.880 Do you think they cancel each other out. 0:07:07.960 --> 0:07:11.240 That yeah, it does. Actually it cancels each other out 0:07:11.280 --> 0:07:13.040 and then makes it ten times worse. 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:22.760 Okay, so you're into self harm, it seems, and torture alright. 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:25.200 I'm just noting that down we all have our kinks. 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:28.080 So where do you get these animals from? What places 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.480 do you go? Who are these people? Tell me? 0:07:30.720 --> 0:07:32.920 So where do I get the animals? Yeah, there's a 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:35.520 company that I work for down in Talkie and all 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:36.520 of the animals live there. 0:07:36.560 --> 0:07:38.640 That's down my way. I live in July. 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:41.760 Oh cool, So just around the corner you've got crocodiles 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:42.720 and snakes and lizards. 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:46.080 Ah, so what animals do you? I know you've said it, 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:47.240 but Tom again, what animals? 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:53.920 So snakes, lizards, crocodiles, marsup mules, arthropods. 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:58.320 Are you trying to start an arc? Is that? Is that? 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:00.880 What happening? Are you are peering for judgment? 0:08:01.000 --> 0:08:03.120 Day? I could be? I mean, have you seen the 0:08:03.120 --> 0:08:03.600 weather later? 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:08.080 So how did you get into this? 0:08:08.960 --> 0:08:13.040 I started working with wildlife when I was seventeen years old, 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:15.560 so that was twenty two years ago. I started out 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:18.040 as a suekeeper at a very small wildlife park in 0:08:18.280 --> 0:08:21.520 northern New South Wales, which is where I grew up. Yeah, 0:08:21.520 --> 0:08:24.320 and then I was kind of volunteering as a snake 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:25.119 catcher as well. 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:28.760 You volunteered that, he my boy break then. 0:08:29.360 --> 0:08:31.280 Yeah, I am. Well, there was only two of us 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:33.680 that knew how to handle venomous snakes in a sixty 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.200 kilometer radius, so we were very busy. 0:08:36.320 --> 0:08:38.080 How do you find out if they are venomous? You 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:39.760 just let them bite you and you go out. 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:43.600 It's not advised to do that, but if you want 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:45.760 to be technical about it, you look at the scales 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:47.200 on the next to their eye. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:48.679 That's how you can tell. That's how you can get 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:49.800 a frond of them. Put eyeshadow on. 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:51.640 Oh, they'd be concealing something. 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:57.880 So you volunteered to catch snakes? Yeah, and like what 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:00.880 like relocate relegate them because in the horror movies of 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:03.440 snakes in like on a plane. Yeah, well that too, 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:07.000 but there's you know, like they're in roofs and they're 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:08.839 on drain pipes, they're in toilets and there. 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:12.520 That's pretty much what I do. And I volunteered because 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:15.680 if I say there's a charge, that people say, why 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:19.520 would I charge? You made a shovels free. 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:21.920 Okay, no, that's you definitely put a different spin on it, 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.160 because I was like, oh, no, okay, you're going you're 0:09:24.160 --> 0:09:26.480 going to save a stake. Yeah, and then how do 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:28.560 you make the jump over to what you're doing. 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:30.360 Now, because at the same time I was doing all 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:34.960 that in my spare time, I was performing musical theater. Oh, yes, 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:43.320 cats because you like animals. No, because they have integrity cats. 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:44.960 Sorry. 0:09:45.120 --> 0:09:48.040 And then the sort of job for a wildlife presenter, 0:09:48.520 --> 0:09:49.600 and I went, what is that job? 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:50.719 They just advertised that. 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:54.239 Yeah they did what Yeah, I know, right. So I 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:55.520 had a look at the job and I was like, 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:59.200 theater and animals, Yeah, it's kind of the perfect mix. 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:01.400 So I applied and I got a job. 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:03.360 They probably looked in and said, oh, actually, this one 0:10:03.360 --> 0:10:06.200 does have experience around animals, so tick. Whereas other people 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:09.880 brock up being like, Hello, here is a snake. It's 0:10:09.960 --> 0:10:13.280 long and it feels funny. Everyone want to touch the snake. 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:17.160 Come and touch the snake. Okay, maybe not that. Okay, 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:18.800 you would have to do a lot of research for 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:22.200 all this too, because you're also teaching conservation. Do you 0:10:22.200 --> 0:10:24.400 sometimes just make things up about the animals? Oh? 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:25.000 All the time? 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:30.640 This is a platypus. It's got, it's got. It's a 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:33.520 flame thrower in there as well. Be careful, don't touch it. 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:35.720 I always tell them that I'm joking afterwards. 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:38.600 What do the animals do when they're not in schools? 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:42.120 When they're not in schools? Do they live their best life? Oh? 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:44.679 And you just go get in the car, love, We're 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:45.439 going to go see some. 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:48.760 Children, exactly, and you get paid for it. They get 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:51.600 they get their favorite food doing so, and you. 0:10:51.480 --> 0:10:54.680 Have multiples because you know, sometimes animals are having a 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:55.120 bad day. 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:56.000 Yeah. Absolutely. 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:58.680 Do You sometimes walk in and you know, Sandra, and 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:03.000 the snake is like, absolutely not, I'm not doing that today, 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:04.920 and you go, all right, we're going with Sam. Yeah, 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:05.679 and you go with Sam. 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:08.360 Yeah absolutely. Because animals need a weekend as well. 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:08.880 They do. 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:09.520 Yeah. 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:11.440 Do they just like people all over the kids? 0:11:11.800 --> 0:11:15.240 Oh yeah, that's happened because they pooh once a week 0:11:15.400 --> 0:11:17.559 and so that's kind of how I say, Oh, they 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:17.920 only do. 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:22.440 You're so lucky to be shut on today exactly. And 0:11:22.480 --> 0:11:24.760 you can keep that, You could actually keep that. I 0:11:24.760 --> 0:11:27.480 feel like everything could go wrong, especially when there's children 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:31.839 and animals. Oh yeah, in the same space. I want 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:33.760 some stories. Give me some stories. There's got to be 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:34.480 some good ones. 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:38.480 There's a few. One that comes to mind is, so 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:41.160 we've got these little vans that we pack all the 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:46.920 animals in, and the animals are two of us. Pretty much. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:48.680 pretty much. I've never thought of it that way. 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:49.360 Wow. 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.680 Yeah, I was a rock star. Yeah. So we packed 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:54.760 them in and the crocodile's got his own box that's 0:11:54.840 --> 0:11:58.280 all padded and everything, and he got out or she 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:00.079 I should say, her name was Gucci. That's why she 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:01.400 bit me. Shouldn't have called her that? 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.960 Oh no, she's Gucci. Now become a Gucci after that? 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:08.640 No, no, but I was petrified to work with her. 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.680 So once they've gotten you, once they know that they 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:13.640 can get you, so then they are an absolute turd 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:15.120 for a long time. 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.600 How did you tell them, you say, Gucci, No more 0:12:17.640 --> 0:12:17.880 of this. 0:12:18.280 --> 0:12:20.720 I had it just routine. You got to get into 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:22.600 a routine with them, and there is a bit of 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:23.680 training involved. Yeah. 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:25.640 Anyway, So Guccie got out. 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:27.760 Oh, Guccie got out while in the back of the 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:32.880 van while I was on the Westgate Bridge. So I 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.040 looked in the rear vision mirror and saw a crocodile 0:12:35.120 --> 0:12:36.920 sitting on top of the box that it was meant 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:42.000 to be concealed in with mouth wide open, just roaring 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:45.480 at me. So I had to merge across five lanes 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:48.880 of traffic to get off the exit and then find 0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.600 a safe place to park to climb in the back 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:52.440 and catch her. 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:56.280 We didn't have like the west Gate Bridge. There's Westgate Park, 0:12:56.320 --> 0:13:00.640 which is a notorious cruising and like be for people 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:02.880 to hook up at. So they would have seen you 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:04.920 pulling up and then getting into the back of a 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:08.200 van thinking something completely different is happening, but it's you 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.480 wrestling a crocodile. It would have been moving and jumping. 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:12.120 Yah. 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:16.240 Oh, the same noises. If only they knew, If. 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:17.920 Only they knew that, only they knew that I was 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:19.120 wrestling the crocodile, not wrestling. 0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:25.719 Oh, I love that visual. So we've had escaped animals. 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:26.760 There has to be more. 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:32.280 My boss was doing a nighttime presentation for an award ceremony, 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:35.560 so he had a crocodile there and it was Jack. 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:37.520 It was his crocodile's name, Big Jack. 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:38.160 Awful name. 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:43.440 Yeah. So Jack was about six foot so he was 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:46.720 a handful about twenty three kilos big crocodile, but Jack 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:48.839 was in his box. I was in my civilian car 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:52.199 rather than the company van, and I got pulled over 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:56.920 for an RBT and the cops just said, what's what's 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:57.680 with the box. 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.240 In the box? And I said, it's so nosy, I 0:14:00.240 --> 0:14:01.200 don't know, aren't they? 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:03.240 Yeah, And I said I was a crocodile. And I went, oh, 0:14:03.400 --> 0:14:05.320 don't be a smart ass. What's in the what's in 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.120 the box? I said, a crocodile and they said, all 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:10.319 right out. So I pulled me out of the car. 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:13.000 I had to get the box out and they said 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.200 we'll open it up, and I said, I'm not opening it. 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:18.040 You can open it if you want, and so they did, 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:21.640 and they jumped back a mile. They were petrified. 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:24.960 What about the kids, surely there's some stories with kids 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:26.120 and animals. 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.880 There's some pretty strange things that children say when you 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:33.680 bring animals out. I remember this one time I put 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:36.080 a blue tongue lizard on the ground of the kindergarten 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:38.800 and the tongue was poking in and out, and I said, 0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:40.760 you know, have a look at her. She's sensing her environment. 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:45.680 That's how she senses. And this little boy just yelled out, ah, 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:51.960 she's licking carpet, which was funny, but the amount of 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:56.560 laughter that came from the teachers did not comprehend with. 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:01.000 Just got positive reinforcement. It's like, I don't know what 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:02.160 I said, but that's funny. 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.320 Teachers came up to me afterwards said sorry that we 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:06.200 laughed so much. But he's got two mums. 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:14.000 That shouldn't be as funny as it is. Okay, so 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:17.120 you're talking about injuries before. Where have things gone wrong 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:17.880 with the animals? 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:21.800 Thankfully, nothing in front of anyone. It's all been behind 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:25.680 the scenes, I know, right, but I've been bitten by 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:31.440 too many crocodiles. Oh no, my favorite animal, and obviously 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:32.520 i'm their favorite meal. 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:37.160 You really are into torture because it just sounds it 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:38.360 doesn't sound very nice. 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:40.440 Makes sense? Why I want my first tattoo to be 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:43.560 on the ribs too, doesn't it? Yeah, that's most painful. 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:48.040 I think you've you've made me notice something. Yeah, you've 0:15:48.040 --> 0:15:50.520 made me notice. 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:51.040 For all of us. That's good. 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:51.880 It's therapy. 0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:54.720 Are like, No, that's okay, because the world can't hurt 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:56.760 you with the crocodile's barting on you. You know, nothing 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:58.640 can feel worse than that at the moment. So true, 0:15:58.720 --> 0:16:01.640 it really helps, you said to yourself. Yeah, but at 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:04.120 the very start you said your worst injury was something 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:07.160 that happened to your hand at work. Was that a crocodile? 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:12.000 So yeah, this crocodile had broken the filter in her 0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:16.720 pond and so the water was disgusting. So I had 0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:18.840 to catch her to get her out. And when I 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:22.760 went to catch her, I rushed it a bit, and 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:25.680 I shouldn't have because I didn't make sure that I 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:27.800 could see her properly. And I just went in and 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:32.400 she grabbed my hand and then didn't pull me into 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:34.560 the pond. But I just went with her into the 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:38.080 pond because as soon as you pull back, that's when 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:41.680 they death roll. So I just went with her and 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.960 then luckily my foot hit her back and she spun 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:48.280 around to bite my foot, and that's when I got 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:48.840 my hand out. 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:51.560 And you said they'd bite you. Is that fool like? 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:53.520 Is that just like a pinch or are they fool 0:16:53.560 --> 0:16:54.240 trumping in there? 0:16:54.360 --> 0:16:58.160 No, it's a chumping hole. The closing pressure on the 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:01.320 jaws of a crocodile about the same as the closing 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.000 pressure of the brakes of a seven four seven. So 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:06.679 once they're shut, they're shut the way that they have 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:07.119 to go with it. 0:17:07.160 --> 0:17:08.879 Then otherwise your arm's gonna be ripped off, isn't it. 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:09.400 Absolutely? 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:09.760 Yeah. 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.280 I would have lost my hand for sure if I'd 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.720 pull back. But the way that their teeth line up 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:17.880 as well, it makes perforation like the interlock. The interlock. Yeah, 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:19.480 it does that so that when they chomp down on 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.600 a piece of flesh, they just do a headshake and 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:25.119 it perforates the flesh like a perforated page. So I 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:27.080 just realized, sufficient. 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.240 That's so good, isn't it. It is, I'm amazing just 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:30.480 sticking your hands in there. 0:17:31.800 --> 0:17:34.119 I don't advise putting in in a crocodile's mouth. I've 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:37.399 done it four times. I do not recommend. Wait, you 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:41.520 keep going back for more and glutton for funnies, but do. 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:43.720 You just keep going back to the same hospital And 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.240 they're like, oh, Taren. 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:48.119 Yeah, can you not? Yeah? So when I when I 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:51.240 got my fingers sliced open by a goanna, I was 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:53.520 at the same hospital and they went, oh, oh, you're 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:58.000 that crocodile guy. And then next door to me was 0:17:58.200 --> 0:18:01.040 a guy who I could because you know, they just 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:04.199 put the sheet thing up and I could hear that 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:07.040 he had a nail through his hand, and he heard 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:10.360 that I had a goanna bite, and so we both 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:12.920 kind of went open the things said can I see 0:18:12.960 --> 0:18:13.479 your injury? 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:16.440 And he's like show me yours and we're like whaw 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:20.520 and he's like a people are weird? Yeah, I love it. 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.520 I love it. I'm not going to yuck your yum. 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.719 I don't know. It's just just compare more injuries. Are 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:30.320 they trophies to you? No? Are you proud? No? Do 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:31.840 we put them on a like on the wall being 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:33.880 like with a picture of being like survive? 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:37.640 No? Hell no. It's always a reminder of how bad 0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:39.639 I am at my job. Oh my gosh. 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:42.119 I mean it's one way to be punished, isn't it. Yeah, 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:44.399 some people just lose shifts. Now you lose a limb. 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:52.520 So if you are a wildlife presenter, can you present 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:53.720 some wildlife to me? 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:56.480 I can? I have brought a couple of things. 0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:01.800 Oh no, Darren has a bag. I can't see what's 0:19:01.800 --> 0:19:08.080 in it. Aaron nervous. This is like a second level 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:12.520