Speaker 1: Ordinarily speaking, as a sports photographer, you never expect to
Speaker 1: have to cover a tragedy, let alone one involving your mate.
Speaker 2: Time, Hello and welcome to ordinarily speaking, today's guest is
Speaker 2: a little different. Ryan Pierce is a chief photographer at
Speaker 2: Getty Images, one of Australia's leading sports photographers. For years now,
Speaker 2: he has followed the Australian men's cricket team and is
Speaker 2: the man behind the lens of some iconic images. The
Speaker 2: ones most precious to him the pictures he took of
Speaker 2: Philip hughes Hughsey was one of those people that greeted
Speaker 2: everyone with a smile, no matter which side of the
Speaker 2: fence you were on. He was cheeky and he was
Speaker 2: one hell of a cricketer. A photographer's dream. November twenty five,
Speaker 2: twenty fourteen, is a day that none of us will
Speaker 2: ever forget, a day where cricket changed forever. Ryan was
Speaker 2: there that day photographing his mate. In this chat, Ryan
Speaker 2: shares the stories behind his favorite images of Hughesy. He
Speaker 2: has put together a gallery on Instagram to accompany this episode,
Speaker 2: so if you'd like to see those photos, head to
Speaker 2: Instagram and follow at Ryan Pearce or at Ordinarily speaking
Speaker 2: throughout this chat, our thoughts always remained with the family, friends,
Speaker 2: and teammates of Philip Hughes. He was someone special. Well, Ryan,
Speaker 2: thanks very much for spending some time with me. You're
Speaker 2: a bit of a different guest to what I'm used
Speaker 2: to on this podcast. Tell me a little bit about
Speaker 2: your background.
Speaker 1: So having me Nez. Yes, I'm a sports photographer. I've
Speaker 1: been working for Getty Images for sixteen years shooting a
Speaker 1: variety of sports in Australian around the world. But the
Speaker 1: last six or seven years I've fallen into shooting one
Speaker 1: of my great love's cricket so and it's taken me
Speaker 1: around the world and to some incredible places and met
Speaker 1: so many amazing people and got to work with some
Speaker 1: great cricketers and got to know their families. It's been
Speaker 1: an amazing a few years.
Speaker 2: Why do you love cricket?
Speaker 1: Well, I grew up playing cricket and I think there's
Speaker 1: no doubt that most Australian kids want to wear the
Speaker 1: baggy green and Captain Australia. And as a kid I
Speaker 1: was Alan Border had all the.
Speaker 2: Kid because you're Captain Grumpy.
Speaker 1: I only before my coffee in the morning. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: looked the part. I just couldn't play very well and
Speaker 1: I still hold my high school record for a number
Speaker 1: of ducks in a row.
Speaker 2: So you're a bit like me. You love sport, weren't
Speaker 2: very good at it, so you decided to watch it.
Speaker 1: Absolutely But I looked the part. I had all the
Speaker 1: best kid but no idea how to play.
Speaker 2: So you are one of the leading sports photographies in
Speaker 2: the world. I can say that you maybe don't feel
Speaker 2: comfortable saying that, but as you mentioned, you get invited
Speaker 2: into those really intimate moments that no one else really
Speaker 2: is outside of the team. So if you take the
Speaker 2: Australian cricket team for example, you're there for those moments
Speaker 2: of celebration, giving the insight to the public of what
Speaker 2: they'll never experience and what a journalist like me really
Speaker 2: doesn't get the opportunity to experience. So you're there in
Speaker 2: pretty intimate times with these guys.
Speaker 1: It took a long time to get to a point
Speaker 1: where I guess you trusted and accepted, but I think
Speaker 1: that's the key in our jobs, and for me, it's
Speaker 1: just about just being a normal person to them. You know,
Speaker 1: of course you look up to them as their performances
Speaker 1: on the field, but as soon as they step off
Speaker 1: that pitch there, for me, they're just like normal people.
Speaker 1: And that I can definitely say that of the Australian
Speaker 1: cricket team. I think they're generally just normal guys who
Speaker 1: happened to be really good at cricket. That's what I
Speaker 1: explained to everyone when they asked me what are they like?
Speaker 2: You know, So tell me about the day that you
Speaker 2: met Phil Hughes.
Speaker 1: I was living in the UK at the time, working
Speaker 1: for Getty over there. I was sent out to cover
Speaker 1: a Middlesex County cricket match in the outskirts of London.
Speaker 1: It was only a couple of months after he made
Speaker 1: his debut in South Africa and burst onto the scene
Speaker 1: captured everyone's attention, and so I'd only seen him on
Speaker 1: Telly read about him in the paper. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to get a great shot of Phil Hughes, you know,
Speaker 1: being a big cricket fan, I just know I'm going
Speaker 1: to spend the day. I'm just going to sit on
Speaker 1: him as long as I can and get something good
Speaker 1: of him. I've turned up to the ground pretty early,
Speaker 1: you know. I set up as a beautiful ground, white
Speaker 1: pick at fence, lots of trees, just a classic English ground.
Speaker 1: Just after the toss, I think Middlesex won the toss
Speaker 1: and battered and I've moved around towards the change rooms,
Speaker 1: which I say change rooms was actually a tent under
Speaker 1: a tree. I poked my head around the corner and
Speaker 1: there's this little fellow sort of side on. I couldn't
Speaker 1: see who it was, reading the paper, just sitting there.
Speaker 1: Heads turned around and I just said this, get a bruzzi.
Speaker 1: Here you gone, as if I'd known him from Millionaires.
Speaker 1: And it was Phil and he was sitting there with
Speaker 1: his pat it up, ready to go out, reading the paper.
Speaker 1: And I'll never forget that moment. I said, get a mate,
Speaker 1: and he said you're an Aussie. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: work for Getty over here for a while, but I'm
Speaker 1: moving back next year, so hopefully I'll be shooting more
Speaker 1: of you when you're in the test team. That was
Speaker 1: the first time I met him, and he walked out
Speaker 1: that date about I'm pretty sure he got one hundred.
Speaker 1: I saw creatures played that day. I've never seen before
Speaker 1: him down on one knee, so unorthodox, so amazing to
Speaker 1: watch and even better the photograph. I think cricket's such
Speaker 1: a game of patience for the photographers and he can
Speaker 1: get really bogged down sometimes waiting for something good to happen.
Speaker 1: But when you get a guy like hughsy Eddie's just
Speaker 1: you can't look away for a second. It was even
Speaker 1: in a county match. So yeah, that moment will stick
Speaker 1: with me forever.
Speaker 2: So you've brought in a lot of your photos today
Speaker 2: because you've shot him a lot of times over the
Speaker 2: years and you got to know him pretty well.
Speaker 1: Is that fair to say? Yeah? I think when my
Speaker 1: first Test tour was twenty thirteen, so probably a year
Speaker 1: after I met him for the first time, and that
Speaker 1: was the Ashes in England twenty thirteen and I walked
Speaker 1: into the team. It was a new role for me.
Speaker 1: I didn't know anyone. I knew the media manager that
Speaker 1: was it. Two guys during that period really took me
Speaker 1: under their wing and made me feel really welcome and
Speaker 1: took me out for a beer, maybe one too many beers,
Speaker 1: and one of them was Phil that was David Warner.
Speaker 1: Dave was going through his own struggles during that tour
Speaker 1: off the field, but he finally got back in the
Speaker 1: team where Phil started in the team and then ended
Speaker 1: up out of the team halfway through the tour, so
Speaker 1: there was I think Daveon said to me that it
Speaker 1: was good at the time to get away from cricket
Speaker 1: and hang out with someone just away from the team
Speaker 1: just for a night and someone else's opinion on things,
Speaker 1: and I felt the same, although I don't think you
Speaker 1: ever said it. I think Phil felt like he could
Speaker 1: talk to me and I wouldn't talk about cricket to him.
Speaker 1: It would just be just generally, you know. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely viewed him as a mate and someone that
Speaker 1: always put a smile on your face generally because he
Speaker 1: had a smile on he's one hundred percent of the time,
Speaker 1: even when things were going bad for him.
Speaker 2: And I think what a lot of people listening won't
Speaker 2: understand is that when you're on tour as media, often
Speaker 2: the person that's out of the team in the twelfth
Speaker 2: man is the person that you spent the most time
Speaker 2: with because whilst the team is off being professional and playing,
Speaker 2: often they're socializing a little more. So you often get
Speaker 2: to know that twelfth man better than anyone.
Speaker 1: Very well. Yes, I think if you'd if you ask
Speaker 1: me now to roll off the people I was closest
Speaker 1: to in the Australian cricket team, most of them have
Speaker 1: spent quite a bit of time mixing the gatorade.
Speaker 2: Good at mixing drinks. The reason why you're doing this podcast.
Speaker 2: It's a hard one for you, and I know you
Speaker 2: are very clear about the fact that there's a lot
Speaker 2: of people that were closer to him than you. But
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, the truth is you
Speaker 2: also lived through what happened to feel Hughes, and you
Speaker 2: live with it. Is that fair?
Speaker 1: Oh? Absolutely? I live with it every day. There's every
Speaker 1: time I think about cricket, you think about that day,
Speaker 1: anything about him, anything about how he made you feel,
Speaker 1: You think about how he made others feel. And absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm nowhere near the closest person in this tragedy. But
Speaker 1: I was there that day and I've obviously continue to
Speaker 1: be involved with the team after that. And yeah, I've
Speaker 1: never really spoken about I never felt comfortable to speak
Speaker 1: about it, and even when family and friends bring it
Speaker 1: up and ask me about it, I tend to remove
Speaker 1: myself of conversation or the room pretty quickly because I
Speaker 1: just really struggle to talk about it. I think just
Speaker 1: recently hearing some other people talk about things they've gone through,
Speaker 1: and yeah, I just feel like I'm ready to talk
Speaker 1: about my feelings during that time and how I still
Speaker 1: feel about it.
Speaker 2: Tell me about that day. Why were you the SCG?
Speaker 1: Yes, So, Sheffield Chield was pretty pretty rare for me
Speaker 1: to cover Sheffield Chield matches because most of them are
Speaker 1: clashing with Test matches or other tours. So it was
Speaker 1: an unusually Sheffield child day because both teams were packed
Speaker 1: full of players that are even in the team or
Speaker 1: about to be picked in the Test team. And I
Speaker 1: feel went well this day, which he did. No doubt
Speaker 1: he would have been picked in the team for the
Speaker 1: first Test that was going to be at the Gabba
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks later, so or the week after.
Speaker 1: It was a very relaxed day of It was one
Speaker 1: of those days where you turn up to work and
Speaker 1: it was a blue sky, nice breeze. SCG is the
Speaker 1: best place to work in the world, hands down. I
Speaker 1: remember walking out with Brad Hadden to the middle he
Speaker 1: was capped and then he put his new South Wales
Speaker 1: caps and check it on that he hadn't worn for
Speaker 1: a while and on the way out to the toss,
Speaker 1: Hughsley was hitting balls into a net just to my
Speaker 1: left and he seen me out of the corner of
Speaker 1: my eye and just shout out again, get a Brusie.
Speaker 1: How you going? What are you doing out at Sheffield Chair?
Speaker 1: And I thought you only do test matches and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. I said, I'm just here to shoot you, mate,
Speaker 1: Just here a photograph you. He's like, good, make sure
Speaker 1: it make me look good, make me look good. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I can't remember who won the toss, but anyway, South
Speaker 1: Australia he came out all guns blazing, playing again shots
Speaker 1: that you just never rarely see, rarely see from most cricketers.
Speaker 1: Everyone was just looking at each other sideways going just
Speaker 1: not of approval. I was there that day shooting with
Speaker 1: two other photographers, Phil Hillyard from the Daily Telegraph and
Speaker 1: my colleague Mark Metcalfe. Have We just kept looking at
Speaker 1: each other going yeah, okay, he's in. He's in in
Speaker 1: that form where you're just like, no one's going to
Speaker 1: keep him out of this team. And we got the lunch,
Speaker 1: went up to the press box, grab a quick sandwich
Speaker 1: and that was the buzz. All the journals were like,
Speaker 1: who's he's in? You know, I think the journals are
Speaker 1: probably started writing their copy for that night, you know,
Speaker 1: even though the team wasn't going to be picked till
Speaker 1: a few days later. I left the press box, probably
Speaker 1: earlier than I would for after lunch, because it's pretty
Speaker 1: rushed up there generally, to get back down under the ground,
Speaker 1: because I wanted to do a picture of hugh'sy walking
Speaker 1: out of the change rooms. Obviously, the SCG change rooms
Speaker 1: are the original change room in the members pavilion, and
Speaker 1: for a photographer, it's the best place to shoot a
Speaker 1: player walking out to bat anywhere in the world. So
Speaker 1: I thought, why not do a bit of a feature
Speaker 1: picture for Hughsey that might get used at some point.
Speaker 1: So I've got down there early. He was also finished
Speaker 1: lunch early and ready, and he's just sitting on the
Speaker 1: massage table near the door, and I've walked up the
Speaker 1: stairs to the side and up to the railing and yeah,
Speaker 1: this is probably something I haven't told anyone. Still makes
Speaker 1: me smile thinking about it. He said, Now am I
Speaker 1: looking out there? How am I looking out there? BUSSI?
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, gone, all right, mate, gone, all right,
Speaker 1: not bad, not bad? He's got You've got any good shots? Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got a couple. Did you get my good side?
Speaker 1: I said, I'm trying to, mate, I'm trying to you know,
Speaker 1: just keep going the way you're going. I'll get a
Speaker 1: good picture of you. And then he's walked out the bat.
Speaker 1: Probably one of my favorite pictures of all the time,
Speaker 1: probably because of what happened later on that day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: He'm walking out the bat with this really term of
Speaker 1: look on his face, out of the members of pavilion
Speaker 1: and down onto the ground. Yeah. Never forget that moment.
Speaker 2: So it was all buzz really and celebration and typical
Speaker 2: Hughesy making everyone feel welcome and entertaining everyone, and then
Speaker 2: everything went very bloody wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did it ever? I was when you're on the
Speaker 1: side of the ground, you're constantly transmitting pictures on your laptop.
Speaker 1: I didn't actually have the camera up to my face
Speaker 1: for that ball, so I was sending, finishing, sending, probably
Speaker 1: the pictures have been walking out onto the out of
Speaker 1: the change rooms, and I heard Phil Hilly are just
Speaker 1: sitting right next to me, just let out this sort
Speaker 1: of dull noise or grant, he's just like you know,
Speaker 1: and I've looked up and I've just got the camera,
Speaker 1: picked the camera up straight away, and obviously from the
Speaker 1: time he was hit to the time he ended up
Speaker 1: on the ground, I was able to pick the camera
Speaker 1: up and photograph what happened next basically, and looking back
Speaker 1: at it now, that seemed like forever that moment, and
Speaker 1: then I think as soon as you ended up on
Speaker 1: the ground, that's when you knew something wasn't completely right.
Speaker 1: But as a photographer, and I guess a news gatherer,
Speaker 1: you keep shooting. You just kept shooting. But I remember
Speaker 1: saying the while I've still had my head up to
Speaker 1: the face up to the camera, I said, this doesn't
Speaker 1: look good. This is not good. And that's when you
Speaker 1: you tense up your heart. I just I remember the
Speaker 1: feeling my heart just going million miles an hour, and
Speaker 1: I felt sick instantly, but I just kept shooting, just
Speaker 1: kept shooting because we had no idea obviously how bad
Speaker 1: it was. Yeah, that was definitely the hardest thing I've
Speaker 1: ever had to shoot in my career, just that that moment,
Speaker 1: and then what what I guess what followed was even harder.
Speaker 2: And you're a sports photographer. This is not something that
Speaker 2: you go into your office and anticipate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you never expect to have to go
Speaker 1: to work and as a sports photographer and photograph someone
Speaker 1: in a way any more than a serious injury like
Speaker 1: a knee injury or a broken arm or a broken leg.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's that's as bad as get let alone someone
Speaker 1: you know and who's mate laying there unconscious, not knowing
Speaker 1: what's next. I don't know what kept me shooting that
Speaker 1: day because I'm not trained to as a news photographer
Speaker 1: at all. I've always said I don't think I'd ever
Speaker 1: risked my life for my job. But there's plenty of
Speaker 1: guys brilliant news photographer out there that do daily and
Speaker 1: I'm in total all of those guys. But for me,
Speaker 1: that was a total new experienced situation for me to
Speaker 1: be in.
Speaker 2: There are obviously a lot of details that we're not
Speaker 2: going to go into because we don't need to what
Speaker 2: happened next, because there was a moment for you where
Speaker 2: you and Phil Hilly are decided that's enough, we're not
Speaker 2: shooting anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, the three of us, Phil, myself and Mark.
Speaker 1: There was a moment where, just after they put Phil
Speaker 1: on the medicab and they started to drive him to
Speaker 1: the side of the members stand and the little tunnel there,
Speaker 1: I just heard this voice out of the corner of
Speaker 1: my my ear yelling just stop stop, stop, stop, And
Speaker 1: I didn't realize what it was at the time, but
Speaker 1: I looked over and it was Brad Hadden running over
Speaker 1: towards us. I thought he was talking to a medical
Speaker 1: person or someone else in the stand, but as he
Speaker 1: got closer, his voice lowered a bit and he's like, guys,
Speaker 1: stop shooting. It's not good. And immediately we didn't just
Speaker 1: stop shooting. We put our cameras on the ground and
Speaker 1: just sat there. And then it seemed like an hour,
Speaker 1: but it was probably about twenty minutes where we were
Speaker 1: forced to sit there. There's security there by that time,
Speaker 1: who just just told us to move there. It was
Speaker 1: obviously became a pretty restricted zone around that area where
Speaker 1: they brought him to the side of the ground and
Speaker 1: we just sat there and we had to watch the
Speaker 1: next probably twenty minutes unfold.
Speaker 2: How do you cope in that moment, Yeah, because it's.
Speaker 1: Not I did at the time, because I think the
Speaker 1: adrenaline kicks in and you're just like, Okay, I'm in
Speaker 1: the middle of this and you have to react. The
Speaker 1: first react. First reaction was to take photos. Second reaction
Speaker 1: was too told to stop when you're told, and we
Speaker 1: did that, but.
Speaker 2: You're it's not for me covering the later days. It
Speaker 2: was having that, you know, the relationship, friendship, colleague, however
Speaker 2: you want to call it, with Phil. And then there's
Speaker 2: also the layer on top of that of being mates
Speaker 2: with a lot of the guys. So you were mates
Speaker 2: with all of those guys out on the ground who
Speaker 2: are also going through this. That is an incredibly traumatic
Speaker 2: thing to experience on a workday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, in my way, it's the best situation in the world,
Speaker 1: knowing everyone you're photographing out there, But on that day
Speaker 1: it probably turned out to be the worst. But I
Speaker 1: can honestly say at the time when it all happened,
Speaker 1: all I was thinking about was was fel like I
Speaker 1: didn't really you know. The only I guess the only
Speaker 1: thing other person I remember really clear was was Dave Warner,
Speaker 1: who was on the medicap with him and stuck with him,
Speaker 1: with him all the time, holding his hand. That will
Speaker 1: stick with me forever. Yeah, that was Yeah, It's a
Speaker 1: different situation to be in, for sure. And I think
Speaker 1: as we started looking through the pictures on the back
Speaker 1: of our camera, and there was some really graphic pictures
Speaker 1: that as a group, we probably decided that it was
Speaker 1: best not to ever be seen. So the pictures that
Speaker 1: end up going.
Speaker 2: Out that day, they were filtered.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, there was no reason for some pictures to go
Speaker 1: out wouldn't have added to the story or the moment
Speaker 1: at all. To this day, I still have not looked
Speaker 1: at those photos again. They're sitting on a hard drive
Speaker 1: somewhere at home, and I have no need or want
Speaker 1: to look at those photos again. I'm not sure I
Speaker 1: want to relive it through still images. I love looking
Speaker 1: at pictures of Husey playing having fun, but I'm not
Speaker 1: sure looking at pictures from that incident would do me
Speaker 1: any good. So I think I'll just keep them locked
Speaker 1: away on that hard drive.
Speaker 2: How did the rest of your day unfold? Do you
Speaker 2: remember any of it? Do you remember how you dealt
Speaker 2: with it that night, how you felt that night? I do.
Speaker 1: In parts. I stayed at the ground for quite a while,
Speaker 1: only because I just didn't feel like I wanted to
Speaker 1: get in a car. I was still shaking, and even
Speaker 1: though it's ten minutes drive home to my house from
Speaker 1: the ground, I just I think I actually sat in
Speaker 1: the car when I got to the car, I sat
Speaker 1: in the car for a little bit, just things going
Speaker 1: through my head. And I got home and yeah, basically
Speaker 1: just collapsed in a heap. And I think my wife
Speaker 1: came home not long after, and she knew what was happening, obviously,
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's when I really sort of got set off,
Speaker 1: I guess, And yeah, it wasn't a good night you're
Speaker 1: listening to.
Speaker 2: Ordinarily, speaking with photographer Ryan Pearce, it was such a
Speaker 2: hard thing to cover because it then went on for
Speaker 2: a couple of days. How did you cope through those
Speaker 2: couple of days whilst also trying to be a support
Speaker 2: to people that your mates within in that fold?
Speaker 1: Well, first off, my manager at the time asked me
Speaker 1: straight off the bat, do you want to cover this?
Speaker 1: Do you want to follow this story through? And I
Speaker 1: knew there's no way in the world I could have.
Speaker 1: I was just way too close to the whole situation.
Speaker 1: So I'm glad I was given the option. I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people might not have been given the option,
Speaker 1: but I was reassigned to other things. So the day
Speaker 1: after I ended up at the ARIA Awards of all things,
Speaker 1: the show goes Forevero's Red Huppet and everything, and I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm like a zombie. I couldn't tell you who
Speaker 1: was there, who's saying who won? I couldn't tell you anything.
Speaker 1: I was just And obviously my colleagues knew what happened
Speaker 1: the day before, and they're like, why are you here?
Speaker 1: Why are you here? And I'm like, well, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to help out, and I think maybe to keep busy.
Speaker 1: It was good. If I'd stayed at home, I just
Speaker 1: would have been texting the guys all day, going looking
Speaker 1: for updates, just going how is he? That word sort
Speaker 1: of filtered through I think at night that things weren't
Speaker 1: looking that good, and that's when it really set in that, yeah,
Speaker 1: we weren't going to get to see you smile and
Speaker 1: face again.
Speaker 2: At that point. Are you just his mate?
Speaker 1: I'd like to think I always felt like that, but
Speaker 1: there was that probably five minutes where I kept doing
Speaker 1: my job, and I think that's what haunts me a
Speaker 1: little bit still. And you ask yourself, what did the
Speaker 1: same thing happen again, what would you do. It's a
Speaker 1: very fine line between doing your job and looking after
Speaker 1: your mates, especially when one goes with the other. You
Speaker 1: just got to trust in the rest of the team
Speaker 1: that they know that.
Speaker 2: How did they receive you? Did things change between those
Speaker 2: guys or were they always pretty supportive of everything?
Speaker 1: Always always really supportive. I think they could see by
Speaker 1: talking to me when they saw me how affected I was.
Speaker 2: The couple of days where we sort of knew what
Speaker 2: was happening, but we didn't yet or couldn't couldn't say
Speaker 2: it public yet. You know, we're still holding out that
Speaker 2: glimmer of hope. Do you remember the moment that you
Speaker 2: found out that that he was gone?
Speaker 1: Yep, I do, I do. I I got a message
Speaker 1: from a player. Probably was half an hour before the
Speaker 1: press conference was held. Maybe, yeah, I remember it pretty clearly,
Speaker 1: but I think I'd nearly already prepared myself for it.
Speaker 1: I turned on Fox Sports News. It's probably you on there,
Speaker 1: I guess at the time, I remember that half an
Speaker 1: hour before the but I think there was announced the
Speaker 1: press conference and everyone knew it was coming, I think,
Speaker 1: and I'm just I just remember sitting there, I'm a
Speaker 1: couch at home watching this and yeah, just in pieces
Speaker 1: wasn't good. I think I called my dad to tell
Speaker 1: him and chatted with him for a few minutes. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember it really clearly. And then I was just yeah,
Speaker 1: I just felt really.
Speaker 2: Numb after that day, well that evening, when I had
Speaker 2: to say what I had to say on air and
Speaker 2: let people know. Watching I completely broke down that night
Speaker 2: because I had to hold it together for a couple
Speaker 2: of days, and as I say, watching how mates go
Speaker 2: in and out of the hospital that night, I don't
Speaker 2: think I've ever had a outburst of just complete and
Speaker 2: utter collapse and everything that that week had taken.
Speaker 1: Was it the same for you.
Speaker 2: Did you have a moment where, because when you're working
Speaker 2: on it, you have to hold your shit together, but
Speaker 2: you're also living through it. Did you have a moment
Speaker 2: where you allowed yourself to grieve?
Speaker 1: I think at the time, if you can call that grieving,
Speaker 1: I think crying uncontrollably, I'm not I guess that's a
Speaker 1: part of grieving, but I think after that everything happened
Speaker 1: so quickly, I'm not sure I did grieve properly. I
Speaker 1: think the funeral was good again. My office gave me
Speaker 1: the option of covering the funeral and I did think
Speaker 1: about doing that, but it didn't take long to make
Speaker 1: a decision that I just wasn't up to doing it.
Speaker 1: My good mate Cameron Spencer ended up doing that. I
Speaker 1: was speaking to him again about it the other day
Speaker 1: and he's not he likes his cricket. He doesn't love
Speaker 1: his cricket. He wasn't attached to the game or the players,
Speaker 1: but he still says that's the hardest day of his career,
Speaker 1: been in that room in Maxville and seeing everyone's faces
Speaker 1: of you guys he'd photographed and known for years, and
Speaker 1: so I think that says a lot about the pressure
Speaker 1: of that day for that guy. I went up with
Speaker 1: Phil Hilliard, Peter Lawler, cricket journalists for The Australian, and
Speaker 1: my wife Will went up. Just such a blur. I
Speaker 1: guess I've never felt that way really at a funeral.
Speaker 1: Prior to that moment. I broke down a number of
Speaker 1: times and I don't know why. I don't know why, Like,
Speaker 1: obviously I was close to the situation, but I'm normally
Speaker 1: not that person to break down. Maybe it was just
Speaker 1: looking at around and all he made to the players
Speaker 1: around and the team and the staff were just in
Speaker 1: pieces and maybe that set me off, but yeah, that
Speaker 1: was a really emotional day. The wake was good. It
Speaker 1: was a celebration of his life. It was good, lots
Speaker 1: of good stories and everyone had a smile on his face,
Speaker 1: just like he would have. One of the great things
Speaker 1: Cricket Australia did, I think was turned the focus directly
Speaker 1: on how we can celebrate feel and obviously the test
Speaker 1: matches were moved though Adelaide ended up being the first Test,
Speaker 1: and I think focus really quickly turned to that. And
Speaker 1: again work gave me the option, do you want to
Speaker 1: do these test matches still? And I took me half
Speaker 1: a second. Absolutely, I want to be there because this
Speaker 1: was going to be you know, paying tribute and a
Speaker 1: lot of respect to Phil. There's no way I could
Speaker 1: be home watching this. I had to be there, photographing
Speaker 1: and capturing it. I knew it would be hard, but
Speaker 1: I had to be there.
Speaker 2: And it was certainly the most special Test match I've
Speaker 2: ever covered, you know, with ashes and all those sorts
Speaker 2: of things, or even cricket in general. World Cup. That
Speaker 2: match was like no other experience, I think anyone at
Speaker 2: the ground had had you had you had the four
Speaker 2: to eight painted on the ground, you had the Steve
Speaker 2: Smith tribute even very coally and twin tons and he
Speaker 2: was a mate with Peel as well. But Nathan Lyn
Speaker 2: needed those well, they needed the eight wickets and at
Speaker 2: four eight pm Local, which is just beyond belief, he
Speaker 2: takes that first wicket and then from there they all
Speaker 2: crumble and I get goosebumps just thinking about it. But
Speaker 2: from my perspective watching those boys get through that, we
Speaker 2: all worried whether it was too much pressure and whether
Speaker 2: they were able to mentally get up for this game.
Speaker 2: And then it just turned into this therapy for them
Speaker 2: in a very public way. But was it felt therapeutic
Speaker 2: watching them? Is that how you felt photographing it?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? I think it was that summer and then the
Speaker 1: following World Cup. The way they were playing, they look
Speaker 1: like they're floating on air.
Speaker 2: Nelly.
Speaker 1: They were so determined to do it for him and
Speaker 1: have success fulfill that. The Adelaide Test match was, I agree,
Speaker 1: one of the best Test matches I've ever covered photographically
Speaker 1: because of everything you just mentioned, but just the added
Speaker 1: meaning behind everything for everyone. I think was incredible and
Speaker 1: I think the moment that stands out to me where
Speaker 1: it hit home that this was happening, This Test match
Speaker 1: is happening. It was going to be tough. Was the
Speaker 1: day before Gavin Dovey, the team manager, invited me into
Speaker 1: the rooms. He said there's something I want you to see.
Speaker 1: So walked into the Adelaide rooms and sure enough, where
Speaker 1: Hugh's his locker would have been, were two massive photos
Speaker 1: of us that I'd taken over the years, one in
Speaker 1: his locker and then one on the wall. He's like,
Speaker 1: you don't have to photograph this if you want, but
Speaker 1: if you would like to photograph these, and he's empty locker.
Speaker 1: What wasn't empty? They had his shirt in there as well,
Speaker 1: and all the player's shirts had four oh eight in
Speaker 1: place of their test number. I thought, this is this
Speaker 1: is the moment in time. It's so with storic. So
Speaker 1: I had to photograph it, but it was it was hard.
Speaker 1: That was really hard.
Speaker 2: How proud are you of the level of respect that
Speaker 2: the Australian team showed you, the fact that they use
Speaker 2: those photos, wanted to allow you in. I mean that
Speaker 2: is a sign of respect for you.
Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely look the photos. I think it just so
Speaker 1: happened that they were mine. I think they could have
Speaker 1: been anyone's photos. But yeah, it's a privilege. It's always
Speaker 1: a privilege. Any accident, some granted by the team is
Speaker 1: always a privilege, and you never take that for granted
Speaker 1: for a second. The moment that really hit home in
Speaker 1: terms of how members of the team, all the staff
Speaker 1: feel towards me. Just before the anthems on the on
Speaker 1: the morning of the game, Grant Baldwin, who was the
Speaker 1: that still is at times of physio massuse, he was
Speaker 1: handing out they had the black armbands made with the
Speaker 1: pH on them, and he was handing him out to
Speaker 1: the boys just before they went out to the for
Speaker 1: the anthems, and he came over someone. I just felt
Speaker 1: someone grab my arm and he put one on my arm,
Speaker 1: and that was Yeah, that was a pretty special moment.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget that. But yeah, what a day, What
Speaker 1: a day to photograph like that anthem ceremony. Obviously I
Speaker 1: was way back. I'm normally right in there for the
Speaker 1: anthem ceremony under the they put the flags in front
Speaker 1: of the players and normally crouched down and shoot it
Speaker 1: quite wide. There's no way I was going in there
Speaker 1: that day. I was way back with my long lens.
Speaker 1: I was not getting anyone's face and shot it from
Speaker 1: a long way away. And images of Michael Clark gave Warner,
Speaker 1: Ryan Harris just in tears, arm in arm. Yeah, all
Speaker 1: pretty powerful images. And then all the bats. You know,
Speaker 1: players put their bats out with their baggy greens on
Speaker 1: the top. They put Phil's name on the team sheet.
Speaker 1: I took a picture of that. Yeah. Look everywhere you
Speaker 1: look that day, there was just amazing pieces to be had,
Speaker 1: and they all paid tribute to Phil when they won
Speaker 1: the test.
Speaker 2: Take us inside what you got to see that night,
Speaker 2: because you got no access that was unrivaled.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Nathan Lyon. Over the years, getting to know him
Speaker 1: a lot better, He's allowed me some pretty close and
Speaker 1: intimate access to the team song when they sing it
Speaker 1: on the ground. I've never photographed it in the change rooms.
Speaker 1: I never want to because that's their space. But if
Speaker 1: they go out on the ground at midnight and sing
Speaker 1: the team song, I want to photograph that, whether it's
Speaker 1: from just outside the circle or up in the stand.
Speaker 1: And I thought this was a good moment to really
Speaker 1: step back and shoot it from a long way away,
Speaker 1: with the added bonus that there was the four oh
Speaker 1: eight on the ground. I didn't know they were going
Speaker 1: to stand around the four oh eight and sing it,
Speaker 1: but they did. And I was up at the top
Speaker 1: of the Bradman stand and it was dark, there was
Speaker 1: hardly any light on the pitch, and yeah, the quality
Speaker 1: of the photos aren't great, but you can definitely see
Speaker 1: what's going on. And they all had a round the
Speaker 1: four ro eight, brought the ski out, put it in
Speaker 1: the middle, or cracked a beer and saying under the
Speaker 1: Southern Cross, I stand the loudest I've ever heard team song,
Speaker 1: even louder than the Ashes last year.
Speaker 2: People listening should probably also know that those photos are
Speaker 2: cherished by those players as well. A lot of what
Speaker 2: you do is for the public and for the access,
Speaker 2: but fair to say that a lot of what you
Speaker 2: do is for their family album.
Speaker 1: Absolutely. Oh the amount of stuff that will never get
Speaker 1: sent out to papers and magazines was just for the
Speaker 1: players and the families. There's a lot of that material
Speaker 1: and I really enjoy taking those pictures. And of course
Speaker 1: there's moments your new sense kicks in and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's such a beautiful picture of that player and their
Speaker 1: wife or their kids and whatever, and you know, you'd
Speaker 1: know a newspaper would run it. But that's where the
Speaker 1: Trust is.
Speaker 2: It was really hard for a lot of the boys
Speaker 2: to head to the SCG. What was it like for
Speaker 2: you to head back there?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Even harder than Adelaide for sure, because there was
Speaker 1: so much going on in Adelaide. You didn't have that
Speaker 1: much time to stop and really reflect on the weeks beforehand.
Speaker 1: But the SCG was tough. The Trust erected a plank
Speaker 1: outside the Australian Chaine Rooms of phil beautiful plaque, which
Speaker 1: is actually the artworkers of picture. I took a Phil
Speaker 1: during the twenty thirteen Ashes tour which was used through
Speaker 1: a lot of the press. On the invitation of the
Speaker 1: running order, on the funeral, it was used everywhere and
Speaker 1: they ended up making that picture for the pluck. So
Speaker 1: having a photograph that going up, that was an emotional
Speaker 1: moment and all I was thinking for the next few
Speaker 1: days of the test matches, how do I illustrate, how
Speaker 1: do I get this pluck in a picture that really
Speaker 1: makes it relevant? And thankfully day one, David Warner walks
Speaker 1: out the bat goes up to it with his glove
Speaker 1: on and pats him on the head. I didn't know
Speaker 1: what was going to happen. I had a feeling that
Speaker 1: someone might do something again. That's probably one of my
Speaker 1: favorite pictures I've ever taken. It just captures the moment perfectly,
Speaker 1: and I'm not sure how else you would try to
Speaker 1: capture that moment of the players walking out. The biggest
Speaker 1: moment that day was when they've got to sixty three
Speaker 1: and he walked across to the spot where Hughes he fell,
Speaker 1: got down his knees, kissed the ground, got up, looked
Speaker 1: to the sky. What a moment, What a moment, Just incredible.
Speaker 1: The photos don't do it justice. You just had to
Speaker 1: be there. Everyone got on the feet and never forget that.
Speaker 1: What a moment.
Speaker 2: Sport remembers people and rallies around people better than anything.
Speaker 2: I think wraps their arms around around people in moments
Speaker 2: like this. I want to finish by saying, how will
Speaker 2: you remember hughsy.
Speaker 1: And I'm saying this with the biggest smile on my face.
Speaker 1: That because that's how he made me feel. I think
Speaker 1: that's how he made everyone feel. He made you feel
Speaker 1: like the only person in the room. Every time he
Speaker 1: spoke to you. I already remember him as a fun
Speaker 1: loving kid from the country who was amazingly talented batsman.
Speaker 1: There was only just scratching the surface on it. Incredible
Speaker 1: test career, and I just feel so fortunate to have
Speaker 1: had the time I did with him. I wish I
Speaker 1: had more time with him. I wish I wish I
Speaker 1: had the chance to have more beers and funny chats
Speaker 1: with him. I wish I had the chance to photograph
Speaker 1: him batting. He's a photographer's dream. Yeah, I'll just miss him.
Speaker 1: I'll just miss him.
Speaker 2: How do you feel about talking about it now?
Speaker 1: It's still really hard. It's still really hard. But although
Speaker 1: it's a tragic event, it's really hard to feel sad
Speaker 1: about someone that made you feel so happy. And yes,
Speaker 1: he's gone, but his memory will live on forever. He'll
Speaker 1: always be sixty three, not out.
Speaker 2: Thank you for chatting, and know it's a really different
Speaker 2: perspective for people listening. As you mentioned off the top,
Speaker 2: you know you're not, you know, the closest person, but
Speaker 2: I think you have every right to feel sad, and
Speaker 2: you were mates with him, and you did go through it,
Speaker 2: and I know you live with it all the time,
Speaker 2: so yeah, I appreciate your time.
Speaker 1: Thanks NAS, thanks for the opportunity.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening to this episode of Ordinarily Speaking. A reminder,
Speaker 2: you can see the photographs that Ryan has referenced at
Speaker 2: Ordinarily Underscore Speaking or at Ryan's Instagram page at Ryan Pearce.
Speaker 2: As I said off the top, our thoughts remain with
Speaker 2: Philip Hughes's family, friends, and teammates.