1
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:07,040
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for.

2
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,440
Speaker 2: The time poor parent who just wants answers Now.

3
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,680
Speaker 1: Glennon Doyle has written I think three best sellers. Now.

4
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,160
Speaker 1: Oprah loves her, Brene Brown loves her, the whole world

5
00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:17,720
Speaker 1: loves her. I'm the only one that doesn't.

6
00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:21,239
Speaker 3: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum

7
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:21,800
Speaker 3: and dad.

8
00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,680
Speaker 1: This is so exciting. We're going to do something brand

9
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,440
Speaker 1: new on the podcast that we've never done before. Look

10
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,880
Speaker 1: at you, you're looking so excited about this. I'm pomped.

11
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:30,520
Speaker 3: Well, we had a heavy start to the week, so

12
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,239
Speaker 3: I'm looking forward to lightning things up.

13
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,440
Speaker 1: You know what, it has been a pretty heavy start

14
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,839
Speaker 1: to the week. We've talked about smacking our kids. We've

15
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:43,640
Speaker 1: talked about school refusal or emotion avoidant school issues, we've

16
00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,760
Speaker 1: talked about parental burnout. And today we're going to completely

17
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:49,239
Speaker 1: turn this on its head and go in a one

18
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,440
Speaker 1: hundred percent different direction. I'm so excited. Let's do it that.

19
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,800
Speaker 1: By the way, I'm justin you're Clytie. I am the

20
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,000
Speaker 1: parenting expert on Jellen Nine's Parental Guidance and the host

21
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,000
Speaker 1: of the number one podcast in Australian Parenting and Family

22
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,360
Speaker 1: The Happy Families Podcast. Thanks so much for listening. You're Kylie,

23
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,800
Speaker 1: my wife, Mudworth six kids. Today we're going to call

24
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,839
Speaker 1: this book club. It's not really book club as such,

25
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,480
Speaker 1: but you and I are both avid readers. I read

26
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,800
Speaker 1: on average something like forty to fifty books a year

27
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,080
Speaker 1: in addition to writing them and doing all the other

28
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,839
Speaker 1: stuff that I do. I just love reading books.

29
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,560
Speaker 3: I have joked a lot about the fact that I

30
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,120
Speaker 3: haven't had the privilege of reading as many books as

31
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:23,399
Speaker 3: you have.

32
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,039
Speaker 2: But I don't have a life of.

33
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,960
Speaker 1: Luxury comes I do wake up at four thirty in

34
00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:31,120
Speaker 1: the morning to get it all done. But whatever, that's fine,

35
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,280
Speaker 1: live in the life.

36
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,520
Speaker 2: But that's not true at all.

37
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,760
Speaker 3: So over the last couple of years I have actually

38
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:39,920
Speaker 3: made a really conscious effort to make book reading a

39
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:40,840
Speaker 3: huge part of my life.

40
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:42,800
Speaker 1: There is so much joy to be found in books.

41
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,640
Speaker 3: And last year I set a goal to read twenty books.

42
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,360
Speaker 1: Went last year, in the whole year, as in last year,

43
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:48,880
Speaker 1: not this year.

44
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:49,640
Speaker 2: Last year?

45
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,360
Speaker 1: Okay, and did you I read twenty one?

46
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:51,680
Speaker 2: Wow?

47
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:52,560
Speaker 1: And what about this year?

48
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,360
Speaker 2: Well, I'm sitting on seventeen.

49
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,200
Speaker 1: Really, yes, get out of here. Yes, I guess how

50
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:57,760
Speaker 1: many I've read?

51
00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,280
Speaker 2: Oh, thirty two?

52
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,200
Speaker 1: No, I'm only up to twenty. But I have written

53
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,480
Speaker 1: the book so far this year as well.

54
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 2: Oh, here we go.

55
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,200
Speaker 1: So anyway, what we're going to do here, let's stop

56
00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,760
Speaker 1: bragging and boasting. Once a month, we're going to talk

57
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,000
Speaker 1: about the latest books that we've read. And these are

58
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,200
Speaker 1: going to be unfiltered reviews, books that we've loved and hated.

59
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,639
Speaker 1: Like literally, I'm going to say what I really think,

60
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:19,440
Speaker 1: which is kind of rough, right because I'm an author

61
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,079
Speaker 1: and somebody might do the same thing to me one day.

62
00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 1: They probably have. But we're going to share with you

63
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,680
Speaker 1: the stuff that we're reading. How many do you want

64
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:27,280
Speaker 1: to do, Kylie? Given that you've read, how many did

65
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,679
Speaker 1: you say, seventeen books this year?

66
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:29,519
Speaker 2: Seventeen?

67
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,120
Speaker 3: I'm really impressed with myself. That's a huge, huge feat

68
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:33,360
Speaker 3: for me.

69
00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:34,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it really is.

70
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,240
Speaker 3: You know, going to bed at night instead of putting

71
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,400
Speaker 3: Netflix on, I just pick up a book, read a

72
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,959
Speaker 3: couple of pages, and I'm now choosing to get.

73
00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,280
Speaker 2: Up a little bit earlier than I would like, Yeah.

74
00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,000
Speaker 3: Just so I can get some reading, and because I'm

75
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,520
Speaker 3: really enjoying the things that I'm reading.

76
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,000
Speaker 1: Well, let's just do let's do two. Okay, you do one?

77
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,600
Speaker 1: Woo too, Let's just do two.

78
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,240
Speaker 2: I've read seventeen. You only want me to do two.

79
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,880
Speaker 1: Go give me your top five and then just do two.

80
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:58,680
Speaker 2: Okay.

81
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,040
Speaker 3: Out of the fifteen I've read seventeen, you said I

82
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,200
Speaker 3: was seventeen. Sorry, seventeen. Okay, out of the seventeen I've read,

83
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 3: my top five would be untamed by Glennon Doyle.

84
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,360
Speaker 2: Oh really, not in any particular order.

85
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:13,040
Speaker 1: You honestly like that.

86
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:13,840
Speaker 2: I loved it.

87
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,000
Speaker 1: Do you know? The funny thing is you read my

88
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:19,120
Speaker 1: copy of it. I underlined and doggied so many pages

89
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:22,520
Speaker 1: of that book. But you also came across the abusive

90
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,000
Speaker 1: things that I said about what she was saying. I

91
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,720
Speaker 1: would hate to be in her head. Seriously, she's a walking,

92
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,040
Speaker 1: talking contradiction. But I think she's okay with that. So

93
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,440
Speaker 1: much stuff, it was like, what are you even talking about?

94
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:33,840
Speaker 1: So you loved it? I hated it.

95
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:37,560
Speaker 2: Next Come as You Are by doctor Emily Nagasaki.

96
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,960
Speaker 1: What was so funny then, wasn't the title of the book.

97
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,360
Speaker 3: No, it's because I get her name wrong every time

98
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,080
Speaker 3: I try to say it.

99
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,560
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, it shouldn't be that hard, Okay, so

100
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,640
Speaker 1: we can talk about that. What was the third one

101
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:48,760
Speaker 1: that you wanted to say was one of the best

102
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:52,080
Speaker 1: favorite atomic habits? Oh, James clear, brilliant stuff.

103
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:55,880
Speaker 3: Yeah really, I think it actually would be probably close

104
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,600
Speaker 3: to the top of the list when it comes to

105
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:58,600
Speaker 3: self development.

106
00:03:58,680 --> 00:03:59,880
Speaker 2: I have just loved that.

107
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,840
Speaker 1: Because you wanted to do your top five so far

108
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:02,760
Speaker 1: this year, what are your next to?

109
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:04,440
Speaker 2: The Anatomy of Peace.

110
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,839
Speaker 1: Abonger, That's an old time favorite of mine.

111
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I really really loved that, And I'm going to

112
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,240
Speaker 3: stick a novel in there because I'd like to kind

113
00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,240
Speaker 3: of give myself a break every now and again. The

114
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,400
Speaker 3: Book of Belongings by Sue monk Kid. I. Hands down,

115
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,320
Speaker 3: I think it's probably the best novel I've read this year.

116
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,520
Speaker 1: Well, okay, and you gave that to me, and I

117
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:23,120
Speaker 1: enjoyed reading it as well. I wouldn't say it was

118
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,000
Speaker 1: that good, but I wouldn't say it was good. So

119
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,760
Speaker 1: now that you've done that, I feel inclined. I feel

120
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 1: compelled to do you know what, I'm not even going

121
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,039
Speaker 1: to share my top five from the year. I'm just

122
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,680
Speaker 1: going to share one book that I've loved this year

123
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,400
Speaker 1: so far. In fact, I'm going to share the books

124
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,680
Speaker 1: that I've literally just finished reading, the two books that

125
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,120
Speaker 1: I've just finished reading, and tell you what I thought

126
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:43,720
Speaker 1: of them, and then you can share your two okay two, yeah, okay.

127
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,240
Speaker 1: I'm going to start with So, for parents who are

128
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,560
Speaker 1: listening to this podcast with their children, the book that

129
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,159
Speaker 1: I'm about to recommend is not the kind of book

130
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,479
Speaker 1: that you want your children to hear about just yet.

131
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,320
Speaker 1: You probably want to be able to introduce them to

132
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,200
Speaker 1: this kind of topic at the appropriate age and in

133
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,520
Speaker 1: the appropriate time, and not on a pod with me

134
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,680
Speaker 1: talking about it. So I'm just going to give you

135
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,000
Speaker 1: a second to press pause and find another podcast to

136
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,760
Speaker 1: listen to, or go over to Spotify and listen to

137
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,599
Speaker 1: a song or something like that. The book that I've

138
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:13,240
Speaker 1: just closed and just finished reading that is definitely not

139
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:17,800
Speaker 1: for children is called She Comes First, The Thinking Man's

140
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,360
Speaker 1: Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner. Ian Kerner

141
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,760
Speaker 1: is a sex therapist, and he has given what would

142
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:31,640
Speaker 1: be called the indispensable Guide to a particular act, a

143
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,040
Speaker 1: particular intimate act. I'm just going to say it, because

144
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,480
Speaker 1: no kids are listening out to the act of cunning Lingis,

145
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,440
Speaker 1: and I thought as I picked up this book that

146
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,680
Speaker 1: I probably I mean, I've got six kids, we've got

147
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,600
Speaker 1: a wonderful relationship in all forms, and I didn't really

148
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:46,880
Speaker 1: think I was going to learn a lot about it.

149
00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,279
Speaker 1: I didn't also know that it was about that specific act.

150
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:54,040
Speaker 1: But it's a book that I think that any man

151
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,400
Speaker 1: should read. Every man should read if he cares about

152
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:02,200
Speaker 1: his wife's pleasure or his partner's pleasure. That's all I'm

153
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,400
Speaker 1: going to say, because I don't think it would be

154
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,840
Speaker 1: appropriate to talk any more about it. But let's just

155
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 1: say I'm a little bit torn in what I should

156
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:11,000
Speaker 1: say here. I don't think that I was deficient in

157
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:15,440
Speaker 1: any way, shape or form. But wow, boy, like I

158
00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,359
Speaker 1: think this is a game changer. I really think that

159
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,000
Speaker 1: it's extraordinary. So the book is called come Oh sorry,

160
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 1: it's called She Comes First by Ian Kerner, and it

161
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,120
Speaker 1: gets a five star review from me. But make sure

162
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,960
Speaker 1: that make sure that it's kept out of each of

163
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:32,320
Speaker 1: the kids.

164
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,960
Speaker 2: So it's not one of my top two.

165
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,840
Speaker 3: I'm not going to talk about it, but Come as

166
00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:41,680
Speaker 3: you Are, I guess is a wonderful female equivalent.

167
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,839
Speaker 1: Equivalent that's by Emily Nagasaki. Now that you read that

168
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,720
Speaker 1: and loved it, and that is on my shelf, I'm

169
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,640
Speaker 1: going to read it sometime in the next couple of months.

170
00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,840
Speaker 1: So that's high in my proori list because you're raved

171
00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:51,480
Speaker 1: about it, all.

172
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:52,320
Speaker 2: Right, what's your number two?

173
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,520
Speaker 1: My number two book is by Mikaelen de Cleff. Mikelen

174
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,279
Speaker 1: is not a name that I've ever heard before. It's

175
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,000
Speaker 1: like Michael with a W N on the end. Miquelen

176
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:05,160
Speaker 1: de Cleff. She is an NPR reporter in the United States,

177
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,640
Speaker 1: reports on science and the book is called Hunt Gather Parent,

178
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:15,880
Speaker 1: Hunt Gather Parent, What Ancient Cultures can teach Us about

179
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:20,200
Speaker 1: raising children. What I feel like I've read in this

180
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,960
Speaker 1: book is an ancient history of all of the stuff

181
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:28,120
Speaker 1: that I teach parents, but from the most practical, perfect

182
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:33,400
Speaker 1: perspective that I've ever come across. I loved this book.

183
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,480
Speaker 1: This may be one of the best parenting books that

184
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,280
Speaker 1: I've ever read in my life. I'm completely in love

185
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,160
Speaker 1: with it. Miqueen is going to be joining us on

186
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,960
Speaker 1: the podcast in a couple of months. I've been able

187
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,120
Speaker 1: to line that up because it's so good and I'm

188
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,360
Speaker 1: actually going to be bringing her into our next Happy

189
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,600
Speaker 1: Family's Summit, because what she has to say in this

190
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:55,200
Speaker 1: book is extraordinary, It's exquisite, it's so well done, she's

191
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:57,680
Speaker 1: so gifted in the way that she's written it. I'm

192
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,040
Speaker 1: giving it five stars. Hunt gather Parent, Miquelen do Clef.

193
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,720
Speaker 1: I could talk about it all day long. I've dogg

194
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,080
Speaker 1: hed so many pages. I've colored in almost every page somewhere.

195
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:08,880
Speaker 1: I can't wait for you to read it. I think

196
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,920
Speaker 1: you're going to love it. I'm forcing it into your

197
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,000
Speaker 1: Pilo on your bedside table. It's so done good. So

198
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,760
Speaker 1: they are my two books for this month that I'm

199
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,880
Speaker 1: reviewing and giving five stars to both of them. She

200
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,720
Speaker 1: comes first by Ian Kerner and Miquelen do Clef Hunt

201
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,960
Speaker 1: Gather Parent. I've got another handful of books that I

202
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,680
Speaker 1: have flipped through in the last month, but I put

203
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,480
Speaker 1: them away because they weren't that good. One of them

204
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,640
Speaker 1: was Noised by Daniel Carnavan. He is an absolute legend

205
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,760
Speaker 1: in the world of psychology. But this book didn't do

206
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,760
Speaker 1: it for me at all, and I won't go into

207
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,640
Speaker 1: the other ones. After the break, Let's find out what

208
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:41,600
Speaker 1: you have selected as your best books of the last month.

209
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,240
Speaker 1: If you have more than one child. There's a simple truth.

210
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,680
Speaker 1: They're going to fight, they're going to compete, and they're

211
00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:54,920
Speaker 1: going to have relationship troubles. But the real secret isn't

212
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,839
Speaker 1: how to stop the fighting, it's how to teach them kindness.

213
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,720
Speaker 1: The Teaching Kid's Kindness webinar will help you to do

214
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,160
Speaker 1: just that, but also help them build lifelong sibling bonds

215
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,760
Speaker 1: that lead to lifelong friendships. Check out Teaching Kids Kindness

216
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,439
Speaker 1: at happy families dot com dot au.

217
00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:14,840
Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time

218
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,440
Speaker 3: poor parent who just wants answers.

219
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,720
Speaker 1: Now, I'll get the smile on your face. You're just going,

220
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,640
Speaker 1: I'm in heaven. I'm talking about books. This is great.

221
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,640
Speaker 3: Well, I am in heaven, but I'm in pain because

222
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,720
Speaker 3: I don't know which two to pick. I'm gonna start

223
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,559
Speaker 3: with The Toomic Habits because this has actually been a

224
00:09:27,559 --> 00:09:29,160
Speaker 3: book that you've asked me to read a number of

225
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,199
Speaker 3: times over the years, and I just haven't been in

226
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,600
Speaker 3: the right headspace to pick it up.

227
00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,920
Speaker 1: I've got a highlight here. James Clear wrote this book

228
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,520
Speaker 1: about I think it was three or four years ago,

229
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,199
Speaker 1: now it could have even been five. He sold more

230
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,960
Speaker 1: than five million copies of the book. I mean, this

231
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:46,360
Speaker 1: book has just gone everywhere and it is so well written.

232
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,240
Speaker 3: Anyone I've mentioned it too. While they may not have

233
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 3: read it, they've heard of it. It's just honestly, it's

234
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,040
Speaker 3: been a game changer for me.

235
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:57,280
Speaker 1: It's one of those books that you can recommend to

236
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,840
Speaker 1: everyone and know that it's going to make a difference

237
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,120
Speaker 1: in their lives. It really belongs in the top five

238
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,080
Speaker 1: book lists across no matter what you look at, it's

239
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,199
Speaker 1: such a such a good book.

240
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,760
Speaker 3: So I'm probably going to butcher it a little bit.

241
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,120
Speaker 3: But he calls it atomic habits because just like atoms

242
00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:17,920
Speaker 3: are these teeny tiny things, the incremental, teeny tiny changes

243
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,440
Speaker 3: we make to our habits have long lasting impact.

244
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,000
Speaker 1: That's great.

245
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,880
Speaker 2: And so he.

246
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,679
Speaker 1: Actually says, I've memorized this quote, habits of the compound

247
00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:28,920
Speaker 1: interest of self improvement. I love that quote.

248
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I'm going to quote him because he says

249
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,040
Speaker 3: it's so easy to overestimate the importance of one defining

250
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,240
Speaker 3: moment and underestimate the value of making small improvements on

251
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,400
Speaker 3: a daily basis. He says success is the product of

252
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,240
Speaker 3: daily habits, not once in a lifetime transformations.

253
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, it's like that thing that I say in

254
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,960
Speaker 1: my workshops, dieting for a day won't change your life.

255
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think, you know, I look at the

256
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:52,920
Speaker 3: different times in my life where I've wanted to make

257
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,680
Speaker 3: change and I've tried to make that change in a day.

258
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,040
Speaker 3: I want to run five k's. So going from couch

259
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,720
Speaker 3: to five k's does take one day. But in my

260
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,520
Speaker 3: mind it's.

261
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,200
Speaker 2: Like, well I can do that.

262
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I try, and I don't succeed, and I

263
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:11,440
Speaker 3: lose motivation and give up. And so James Clear says,

264
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,360
Speaker 3: if you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you,

265
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:18,360
Speaker 3: The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again

266
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,400
Speaker 3: and again. Not because you don't want to change, but

267
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,600
Speaker 3: because you have the wrong system for change. You do

268
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,160
Speaker 3: not rise to the level of your goals.

269
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,400
Speaker 1: You full fall the level of your systems. I remember

270
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,160
Speaker 1: that quote as well.

271
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and so just one tiny thing that I changed.

272
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,440
Speaker 3: I don't drink water in winter, Like I literally stopped

273
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,839
Speaker 3: drinking and I just thought, I really need to change

274
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,280
Speaker 3: this because I get to the end of the day,

275
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,160
Speaker 3: I've got a massive headache. I just thought I'm going

276
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,320
Speaker 3: to put a drink bottle on the kitchen bench. And

277
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,319
Speaker 3: the change was that every time I walk into the kitchen,

278
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:51,160
Speaker 3: which I do throughout the day four hundred times a

279
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,600
Speaker 3: bajillion times, is I just have to drink. It wasn't

280
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,520
Speaker 3: I have to drink a cup of water. It wasn't

281
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,680
Speaker 3: you know any you know, quantity, quantity, It was just

282
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,600
Speaker 3: I just have to pick that drink bottle up and drink.

283
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,719
Speaker 3: That has literally gone from not drinking anything till the

284
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,960
Speaker 3: end of the day when I'm have a headache to

285
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,440
Speaker 3: drinking two and a half liters of water a day.

286
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,600
Speaker 2: That one tiny thing, because.

287
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,960
Speaker 1: It's about the system. And that's what I loved when

288
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,840
Speaker 1: I read the book. He basically says, stop trying to

289
00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:21,320
Speaker 1: create a habit and instead develop a system. Systems are

290
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,800
Speaker 1: really really easy to develop, but once you get that

291
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,920
Speaker 1: system sorted, it just becomes part of who you are

292
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,240
Speaker 1: and what you do rather than relying on willpower. The

293
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,559
Speaker 1: people who rely on willpower are the ones who fail.

294
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,720
Speaker 1: The people who set up systems no longer have to

295
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,000
Speaker 1: rely on willpower because it's part of the system.

296
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:40,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and this idea of stacking habits, if I'm already

297
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,240
Speaker 3: successful in something like walking into the kitchen twenty times

298
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,000
Speaker 3: a day. Then I'm going to stack another habit that

299
00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:49,960
Speaker 3: I need to be better at with something I'm already doing.

300
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,360
Speaker 1: Okay, so that was huge.

301
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,600
Speaker 2: It's been a game changer.

302
00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,320
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like you're giving a really

303
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:56,839
Speaker 1: thorough review of your books. I sort of said, read this,

304
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,520
Speaker 1: it's about that. It's great, and you're quoting things I

305
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,400
Speaker 1: need to do. I've got to improve my book review game. Obviously.

306
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 2: Well you can me too.

307
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:07,080
Speaker 1: So that's James Cliff. You only get to mention too,

308
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,280
Speaker 1: James Clear. Atomic Habits gets added to She Comes First

309
00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:14,520
Speaker 1: by Ian Kerner and Hunt Gather Parent by Miquelin du Cliff.

310
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,480
Speaker 1: What's the second one?

311
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,800
Speaker 3: Well, only because you hated it so much, I'm going

312
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:19,679
Speaker 3: to gantage.

313
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,120
Speaker 1: I can't believe that you're gonna go, oh gosh, it

314
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:22,720
Speaker 1: was so good.

315
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,800
Speaker 3: I actually wrote a couple of the quotes in my

316
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:29,160
Speaker 3: journal and I pulled them out today and I was like, which.

317
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:30,559
Speaker 2: One do I choose? Because I love them all.

318
00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,720
Speaker 3: But I really feel like this has had a huge

319
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,959
Speaker 3: impact in my mindset and the way I see myself.

320
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,920
Speaker 1: Okay, so just to be clear, Glennon Doyle has written

321
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,840
Speaker 1: I think three best sellers. Now. Oprah loves her, Brene

322
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,719
Speaker 1: Brown loves her, The whole world loves her. I'm the

323
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,800
Speaker 1: only one that doesn't. Just doesn't gel with me. But

324
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:47,600
Speaker 1: what's the quote?

325
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,719
Speaker 3: The quote is If those who are not part of

326
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,880
Speaker 3: the building of reality only consult reality for possibilities, reality

327
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,200
Speaker 3: will never change. We will keep shuffling and competing for

328
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,200
Speaker 3: a seat at their table instead of building our own tables.

329
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,920
Speaker 3: We will keep banging our heads on their glass ceilings

330
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,320
Speaker 3: instead of pitching our own huge tents outside. We will

331
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:11,320
Speaker 3: remain caged by this world instead of taking our rightful

332
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:13,000
Speaker 3: place as co creators of it.

333
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,200
Speaker 2: Each of us was.

334
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,040
Speaker 3: Born to bring forth something that has never existed, a

335
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:21,840
Speaker 3: way of being, a family, an idea, art, a community,

336
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:26,200
Speaker 3: something brand new. We are here to fully introduce ourselves,

337
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:29,160
Speaker 3: to impose ourselves and ideas and thoughts and dreams onto

338
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,840
Speaker 3: the world, leaving it changed forever by who we are

339
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 3: and what we bring forth from our depths.

340
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:34,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

341
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,280
Speaker 1: See, it doesn't do it for me. I just think

342
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:39,520
Speaker 1: she's selfish, I think think that she's narcissistic. Didn't work

343
00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,440
Speaker 1: for me, But I reckon somebody heard you read that

344
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,440
Speaker 1: and think I thought, oh my goodness, I was so good.

345
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,880
Speaker 3: Well, I'm sure that they did, because it was fantastic.

346
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 3: And what I love about it is in an age

347
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:57,240
Speaker 3: of information where we just have so much at our fingertips,

348
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 3: whether it be in the parenting sphere or newt trition

349
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,760
Speaker 3: or you know, medical or well being, there is so

350
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,960
Speaker 3: much available to us and it can be so hard

351
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,720
Speaker 3: at times to kind of navigate that space to find

352
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,480
Speaker 3: what's true for you. And when I think about the

353
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,520
Speaker 3: way I want to be, I don't want to be

354
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,040
Speaker 3: like somebody else. I want to be my own version

355
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,200
Speaker 3: of me and the family that I raise. I want

356
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 3: that to be the family that feels intuitive to me.

357
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,800
Speaker 3: So as you and I share these parenting strategies and

358
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:33,520
Speaker 3: tips to help families be happier, they've come about because

359
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,960
Speaker 3: we have worked through a process to find things that

360
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 3: fit us. And as people listen and hear from us

361
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,760
Speaker 3: and other people, they will take from that what works

362
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,760
Speaker 3: for them. But the idea that I get to show

363
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:49,120
Speaker 3: up to the world as me is powerful.

364
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,040
Speaker 1: So I get that message, I really do. But to me,

365
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 1: she presents as somebody who has every answer to everything.

366
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 1: She knows it all.

367
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I don't have to take that from it.

368
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,840
Speaker 3: I can take I can take it from that.

369
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,160
Speaker 1: In the book, she tells you she doesn't even know

370
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,600
Speaker 1: how to buy her own plane ticket.

371
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,920
Speaker 2: Like I don't know how to buy my own plane ticket.

372
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:11,960
Speaker 3: Really, I just had an amazing weekend last weekend because

373
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 3: you weren't there. I had to get us on a plane,

374
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,520
Speaker 3: pick up the higher car, drive through Sydney.

375
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,360
Speaker 1: You're a grown woman.

376
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 2: I've never done those things. How come because I just

377
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,200
Speaker 2: let you take over.

378
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,920
Speaker 3: I love the fact that I don't have to think

379
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,320
Speaker 3: about it, that I don't have to stress about it.

380
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,040
Speaker 3: It was very stressful for me, but I actually did it,

381
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 3: and it was really empowering to do it. Okay, but

382
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,800
Speaker 3: for so many people, we just we just fall in

383
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:41,000
Speaker 3: and do what needs to get done without thinking about things.

384
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,040
Speaker 3: That weekend, I had to think about it because you

385
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:43,720
Speaker 3: weren't there.

386
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 1: And you nailed it.

387
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:45,800
Speaker 2: I think I did.

388
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,320
Speaker 1: Okay, So let's summarize because we've got to wrap this up.

389
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 1: This We could argue about that particular before day. If

390
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,480
Speaker 1: you've read Glennon Doyle's Untamed, are you.

391
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:54,400
Speaker 2: And you loved it?

392
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:57,000
Speaker 1: Are you let me know you on my side or

393
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 1: Kylie's side? Send us a voice, Mamo and let us

394
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,680
Speaker 1: know what you think podcasts at Happy Families dot com

395
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,000
Speaker 1: dot I you, I read it because my friend Rebecca

396
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,120
Speaker 1: Sparrow raves about Glennan Doyle absolutely loves her to death.

397
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:08,880
Speaker 2: Love you, Beck.

398
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,119
Speaker 1: I will never pick up another Glennan Doyle as long

399
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,800
Speaker 1: as Glennan Doyle book as long as I live. But

400
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,960
Speaker 1: you know what, you'll probably buy her next one as well.

401
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:16,920
Speaker 1: And look, I.

402
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 3: Didn't agree with everything she had to say, but you

403
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,480
Speaker 3: love the book. But there was there was enough in

404
00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,280
Speaker 3: there that I loved.

405
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:25,000
Speaker 1: So how many stars are you giving it?

406
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:25,840
Speaker 2: I'm going to give it.

407
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,560
Speaker 1: For four stars? Oh okay, all right. I was expecting

408
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 1: the way you're raving about it that it looked like

409
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:30,920
Speaker 1: six out of five.

410
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:31,840
Speaker 2: Oh, you're hilarious.

411
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 1: Four stars. Four okay. And how many stars are you

412
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,560
Speaker 1: giving Come as You Are by Emily Ergoski.

413
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:37,960
Speaker 2: Oh, I think that's a five.

414
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,800
Speaker 1: Uh huh, definitely okay. And I'm giving She Comes First

415
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,960
Speaker 1: five and I'm giving Hunt Gathered Parent five. So there

416
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 1: are four books were LinkedIn in the show notes.

417
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 2: Ask me what I was going to give James?

418
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,160
Speaker 1: Oh, oh sorry, James, clear, that's a definite five. Yeah,

419
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 1: one hundred percent same same. So we will link to

420
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:55,040
Speaker 1: those books in the show notes and you can, I mean,

421
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 1: you can help us out. We get about forty cents

422
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,719
Speaker 1: if you buy via book Topia, so we'll share our

423
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,280
Speaker 1: link there so that you can jump online or buy

424
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,120
Speaker 1: wherever you want whatever. And we hope that you enjoyed

425
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,280
Speaker 1: this turn a little bit of an argument. I don't

426
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,240
Speaker 1: expect that this podcast would get us both so fired up.

427
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 1: I look forward to you reading a book that I

428
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,040
Speaker 1: loved that you don't love.

429
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,760
Speaker 2: Oh, there'll be plenty of those.

430
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,800
Speaker 1: Can't wait. This is going to be exciting. We'll be

431
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,840
Speaker 1: back in about another month with our next book Club

432
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:24,880
Speaker 1: book review podcast episode Tomorrow last day of school for Queenslanders.

433
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,040
Speaker 1: We're about to head into school holidays. We've got our

434
00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 1: old do Better Tomorrow episodes we highlight what worked well

435
00:18:30,119 --> 00:18:32,320
Speaker 1: what didn't. It's all coming up on Happy Families Podcast,

436
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,160
Speaker 1: which is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig

437
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,880
Speaker 1: Bruce is our executive producer and for more information about

438
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 1: making your family happier, we would love for you to

439
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:44,040
Speaker 1: join us in our Happy Families memberships, because happy family

440
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,360
Speaker 1: doesn't just happen. You can get those Happy Families memberships

441
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:50,080
Speaker 1: from as little as thirteen dollars a month, and there's

442
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,560
Speaker 1: so much value and it makes such a difference for

443
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,199
Speaker 1: families who take advantage of it. All the details are

444
00:18:55,240 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 1: at happy families dot com, dot aut