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Speaker 1: It's a women woody podcast, minis.

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Speaker 2: But when you're in a rush or just can't be

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Speaker 2: bothered listening to them blather on for half an.

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Speaker 3: Hour, why do you think we go back to the

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Speaker 3: X for a bit of stuff and the muffin?

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Speaker 4: And hard to know, isn't it.

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Speaker 3: We've all done it, and we all know that it

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Speaker 3: can be pretty good to split the guinea pig with

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Speaker 3: your ex partner. So thirty one and six five, what

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Speaker 3: do you? What do you?

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Speaker 2: What do you?

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Speaker 5: What do you?

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Speaker 4: Guys?

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Speaker 3: Reckon? Two thirds of people. I'll add to this. I've

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Speaker 3: got the answer, by the way. Yeah, yeah, a sex

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Speaker 3: therapist is confirmed. Oh why we like going back there

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Speaker 3: so much? But two thirds of people have admitted to

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Speaker 3: their ex being on their mind too often?

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Speaker 1: Wow?

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Speaker 3: Two thirds of people, and this is forty three percent

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Speaker 3: of single women admit to sweeping the chimney with their

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Speaker 3: ex whilst looking for a new partner.

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Speaker 4: Whoa extraordinary so yeah wow?

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Speaker 3: Forty seven percent of guys stuff, yep, they stuffed the

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Speaker 3: taco with another girl while they're looking for another partner

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Speaker 3: or another guy. We're looking for another partner, So that

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Speaker 3: I suppose I've already given up a little bit of

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Speaker 3: the answer. Some of it is that it's the comfort

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Speaker 3: of knowing that you've got someone to be with while

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Speaker 3: you're looking for something else.

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Speaker 1: That was probably going to be My guess, I think

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Speaker 1: it's the comfort factor. The other one I'd throw in

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Speaker 1: there is if if you've been single for a while

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Speaker 1: and maybe you've had like a really bad date or

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Speaker 1: a really bad experience with a new guy or girl.

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Speaker 1: I think that is often a real hot time to

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Speaker 1: go back to your ex, because you can't help but

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Speaker 1: compare your most recent bad experience, yes, with your ex,

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Speaker 1: and you go, oh, whoa, my ex was way better

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Speaker 1: than that.

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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So then all of a sudden you find yourself

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Speaker 1: going back. But then I think most people find that

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Speaker 1: I think I was probably remembering time with the X

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Speaker 1: through rose colored glasses, and there's a reason why we

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Speaker 1: broke up the Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Well, well interestingly, and then this person, Tracy Cox.

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Speaker 3: Funnily enough, she she was born.

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Speaker 1: To be a sex That is outrageous, So that's.

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Speaker 4: Radio do your research beforehand. But I can't get around that.

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Speaker 4: It name's Tracy Cox.

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Speaker 3: So Tracy Cox seems to think that they are very

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Speaker 3: separate things. Being with your ex in a relationship and

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Speaker 3: the sex that you have with your Okay, so as

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Speaker 3: them because the issues often arise as you well know

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Speaker 3: you can have you can you can have wonderful slop

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Speaker 3: hockey with an ex partner or with someone in general,

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Speaker 3: and then not have a great time with them outside

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Speaker 3: of it. Yeah, that's so they are separate. It's not

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Speaker 3: about just the relationship being bad or toxic. We're talking specifically,

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Speaker 3: specifically about splurging the.

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Speaker 1: Nerg Let's go to Stefan here, let's go to Stefan. Stefan.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think you you go back to the

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Speaker 1: X too? Humpty? Do for one of a better word?

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Speaker 3: There?

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Speaker 5: You're going boy, good fun?

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Speaker 2: I think because I think we can all agree. I mean,

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Speaker 2: the sex is just that much better.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, we've agreed on that. That's the premise of

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Speaker 3: the bit step fun.

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Speaker 4: We're looking for the why. We're looking for the why.

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Speaker 5: Why Ye comfortability m.

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Speaker 1: Comfort, comfort, the comfort, the comfort.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, although there's a big part, there's a big thing

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Speaker 3: to say that when it comes for searching for pocket

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Speaker 3: change with another person, a lot of the time it's

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Speaker 3: more about the excitement as opposed to the comfort.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So that's one of the I'll tell you more of

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Speaker 3: what Tracy Couch says to add after this because we'll

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Speaker 3: take more calls on this third one to six ' five.

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Speaker 3: But she says that one of the reasons that a

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Speaker 3: lot of people will do it is because it's much

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Speaker 3: because you know you're going to get a yes when

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Speaker 3: you ask.

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Speaker 4: Them if they want to.

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Speaker 3: So a lot of the time putting yourself out there

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Speaker 3: if you are in a dating app, or if you

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Speaker 3: have to make yourself very vulnerable to extend it to

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Speaker 3: do you want to come in Netflix and chill.

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Speaker 1: Whereas with an X we'll have done it before.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's face it, like a message, you know, I'll

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Speaker 3: put the shoe on the other foot if I know,

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Speaker 3: for a guy, if you're get a message from an

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Speaker 3: X saying you up or you still out, that's effectively

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Speaker 3: like them lowering the drawbridge and bringing out a whole

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Speaker 3: bunch of trumpetears in a red carpet, like you know,

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Speaker 3: you're going to be welcome and you're going to have

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Speaker 3: a good time.

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Speaker 4: It's easy.

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Speaker 3: You don't have to worry about getting to know them

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Speaker 3: all those things you're talking about.

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Speaker 4: It more x Cox has got more Tracy that is talking.

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Speaker 3: About why all of us enjoy polishing the paupers with

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Speaker 3: an X.

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Speaker 4: Why don't we all enjoy stuff in the muffin with

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Speaker 4: the X?

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Speaker 3: Certainly, well, we know, we know for a fact that

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Speaker 3: Jalo has been riding the Bony Express ben Afflex to

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Speaker 3: be more specific.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, totally wild.

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Speaker 1: But that wasn't that wasn't just about parking the muffin bus.

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Speaker 1: That was also they're in a relationship.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, now they're back in a relationship, and some would

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Speaker 3: say it's doomed. Don't be fooled by how good roasting

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Speaker 3: the broomstick is with your ex partner? Thirty one and

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Speaker 3: six y five? Why do you think it's good happing

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Speaker 3: to go to Vanessa here? I've got the answer to

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Speaker 3: this question. By the way, I'm not just throwing it

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Speaker 3: out of there. There's a lot of teas. Tracy Cox

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Speaker 3: is a sex therapist for Daily Mail in the UK.

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Speaker 1: What's got Vanessa here? Vanessa? Why do you think people

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Speaker 1: go back to the X to do hanky panky?

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Speaker 2: Hey guys, are you good?

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Speaker 3: What do you reckon? Vanessa?

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Speaker 2: My ex and I used to well, we would never

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Speaker 2: actually dated. We just became friends of benefits, but we

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Speaker 2: would go back to each other between people we dated

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Speaker 2: because the sex was good, it was easy, we knew

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Speaker 2: what each other liked, and there was no strings.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, the no strings thing.

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Speaker 3: So she's she's here, she's she had a couple of

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Speaker 3: wins even, so we get a couple of things for her.

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Speaker 4: The connection is already there.

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Speaker 2: You get a tip for that mat to start with.

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Speaker 3: So I've already got.

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Speaker 4: The connection there, you know how it works.

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Speaker 3: The other one is and I'm using Tracy Cox's language,

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Speaker 3: not not my own, but she said, and I quote,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 4: What the orgasm triggers are, so you don't need you

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Speaker 4: don't need to do the work.

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Speaker 3: You don't need to do the instructing there as well,

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Speaker 3: Well done, Vanessa, So you get two of them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Vaness, Can I ask you so is that is

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Speaker 1: that still an arrangement you have with this guy?

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Speaker 2: So as of like two weeks ago, he's now in

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Speaker 2: a relationship, so right, and we're both we're both okay

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Speaker 2: with that. Like we had this agreement from the start

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Speaker 2: where we weren't going to catch feelings. He did at

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Speaker 2: one point and we had to end sing for a while.

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Speaker 3: But did you draw up this content back to though, Vanessa,

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Speaker 3: were you the one who said that you'd like it

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Speaker 3: to be this way?

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Speaker 4: And then he's the one. Wow, his eyes, his eyes

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Speaker 4: probably would have lit up when that happened.

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Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. I was like, we were hanging

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Speaker 2: out one night and it just kind of happened, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, look, we are mates at the end

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Speaker 2: of the day, Like, I don't want to ruin that,

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Speaker 2: so yeah, wow, we kept it like that, and it

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Speaker 2: woke like, yeah, it was a bit shoot when he

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Speaker 2: was like telling me how he felt there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and you did the good thing.

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Speaker 2: I'm not in a place to feel that for you.

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Speaker 4: You got out of there.

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Speaker 2: I have lots of issues want to ruin our friendship.

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Speaker 4: Extraordinary, very mature of you. Round of applause.

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Speaker 1: I've never heard of that working out before, and it

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Speaker 1: sounds like they're still friends, which.

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Speaker 4: Is well, he's just started seeing someone.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it feels like the stage is set for

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Speaker 3: a bit of a tragedy, isn't it Every other story

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Speaker 3: I've ever heard.

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Speaker 4: About that sort of a setup.

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Speaker 3: I was going to say, there's there's a storm coming

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Speaker 3: from Vanessa. Now another one here Wolds and look, I

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Speaker 3: I was never really it's been a long time since

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Speaker 3: I have been single and peeling the bark with multiple suitors.

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Speaker 3: But apparently they're saying that. Tracy Cox, this sex therapist,

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Speaker 3: says that it's better than having a meaningless one night

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Speaker 3: with somebody where you don't get a chance to have

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Speaker 3: any connection. You'd rather that people would rather revisit something

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Speaker 3: that they previously had rather than trying to fumble your

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Speaker 3: way through a connection with a new person.

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Speaker 1: My only argument to miss Cox there wouldn't be that

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Speaker 1: you what you sacrificed there. There was that excitement around

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Speaker 1: that first time, like well this is all new.

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Speaker 3: Although like first time, like, let's face it, that's pretty

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Speaker 3: much ninety percent of the time awful.

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Speaker 4: Block.

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Speaker 1: No no, I agree, like, well, it depends what you say,

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Speaker 1: It depends what metric is there. If your metric is

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Speaker 1: getting to as miss Cox's words, the oh yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: I think first time, good luck to you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It's like you're driving through Darwin without a map but

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Speaker 1: weird metaphor, but experience you think.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, and all of a sudden you got the GPS.

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Speaker 1: Baby, it doesn't matter where you're driving at the end

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Speaker 1: of the day.

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Speaker 4: No, no, take the God down plane. Let's go to Jessica.

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Speaker 3: Jessica, why do you think that people enjoy parking the

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Speaker 3: beef bus in Juniatown with their ex?

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Speaker 5: Hey, guys, So I've totally related and agreed with pretty

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Speaker 5: much everything said so far. Great in terms of relationships.

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Speaker 5: I was with my ex about oh god, we broke

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Speaker 5: up six years ago. I still think about him now,

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Speaker 5: actually believe or not.

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Speaker 3: Did you hear the stat I said before, jess two

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Speaker 3: thirds of people admit to thinking about their ex far

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Speaker 3: too often.

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Speaker 4: You're not alone.

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Speaker 5: I haven't had anything official or substantial since, so be

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Speaker 5: the last official thing I've had, So that's all I've

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Speaker 5: got to refer to. But after breaking up with him,

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Speaker 5: because we did start out as dating and then friends

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Speaker 5: with benefits, then we dated officially, then we broke up,

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Speaker 5: then we got back to a very messy story, and

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Speaker 5: then you broke up six years ago, and then I've

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Speaker 5: been with a couple other guys since who have been

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Speaker 5: honestly so much better. So one of them for the

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Speaker 5: last six years since I met him, we've corn kind

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Speaker 5: of on and off for the last six years.

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Speaker 4: So that's just a contractual relationship.

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Speaker 5: What you said before, you don't want to have to

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Speaker 5: keep you know, starting over again and getting used to

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Speaker 5: someone once you're comfortable.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, So Jess, that's another I'll give you

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Speaker 4: a point. Just Jess gets a being. Jess gets a being.

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Speaker 4: You can't hear.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't matter, Jesse. You've provided some great insight there.

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Speaker 3: So that was the final one. There was that you

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Speaker 3: you can actually and this is I think very interesting

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Speaker 3: when you're when you're hooking up, when you're passing the

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Speaker 3: gravy with your ex, because they are your ex and

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Speaker 3: you know that you're not going to end up with

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Speaker 3: them again, you can be a bit It's interesting.

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Speaker 4: You can almost be a bit more explorative, vulnerable.

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Speaker 3: Open, not like emotionally, but in the bedroom because you

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Speaker 3: don't have to see them anymore. But we've closed that,

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Speaker 3: we're not even trying to be in a relationship anymore.

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Speaker 4: This is just for the fun of the activity.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, let's go to the monkey bar sort of,

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Speaker 1: you know, let's hang ourselves.

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Speaker 3: Upside monkey bars.

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Speaker 4: And I'm not as wild as.

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Speaker 5: I was thought about.

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Speaker 1: I'm just trying to think of a family friendly thing.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: It's buddy, get the hula hoopad. You know, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's look at the teddy bear out. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: it's go crazy. Hear more of the boys on the

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Speaker 1: Full Show podcast.

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Speaker 2: You know you want to