WEBVTT - Peter Siddle - Ordineroli Speaking 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:08.039 Ordinarily Speaking. Most people can have one or two drinks 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:10.720 on a night out, whereas I was pissing my life 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:21.840 and career up the wall. Soon time. 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:31.720 Hello and welcome to Ordinarily Speaking, a sports podcast that 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:35.239 celebrates resilience and gets to know the human side of 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:38.360 the athletes you've come to know and love from Afar. 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:42.320 My name is Narrowly Meadows and my guest today is 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:46.120 a blowco I'm lucky enough to call a friend. Peter 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:49.880 Siddle is a former Test cricketer. He played sixty seven 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:53.760 Tests for Australia, taking two hundred and twenty one wickets. 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:56.400 He's decided to give the international side of things away, 0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:00.360 but continues his domestic career. Lots of people will know 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:05.040 him as the vegan, non drinking fast bowler from Victoria, 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:09.440 a man known as the ultimate team man. But what 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:12.280 lots of people may not know is the reason he 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:16.360 gave up drinking. He had a serious problem, and in 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:19.120 this episode he talks about it for the first time. 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:27.000 I hope you enjoyed the chat again well, SiZ, thanks 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:28.480 very much for joining me. 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:30.399 Not problem at all, looking forward to it. 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:34.240 I moved to Melbourne about eight years ago and you 0:01:34.280 --> 0:01:36.520 and I would have met over the years before that, 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:40.120 because your test career had already started and you were 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.840 well and truly getting into it. But on this particular occasion, 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.120 I remember it was late. 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:48.560 At night and or early morning. 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:51.120 Or early morning, one of the two, and I was 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.880 in a cab and I went to get out of 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:58.080 the cab and suddenly this bloke appeared at the window 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:02.800 and just started on the cab door and and basically 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:06.240 acting like a bit of a lunatic. And I suddenly went, 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:10.040 hang on, that's that's Peter Siddle. He plays test cricket 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:14.320 for Australia. And I thought, he's really shouldn't be behaving 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:17.920 like that in public. And I was, you know, a journalist. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:21.079 Luckily I wasn't a journalist that was going to take 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:23.720 out my phone and start recording you. But you would 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:26.400 have no recollection of that night. But it's not the 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:30.600 person that everyone knows. Now what sort of headspace were 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:31.320 you in back then? 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:37.440 Pretty pretty free and pretty just not a worry in 0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:40.400 the world, I think, which sounds likely to be fun 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:43.560 and and and and that I'm in a good and 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:47.079 a good place and going well. But I think at 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:49.760 the time I didn't probably feel it and see it, 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:52.760 but it probably wasn't until laid down the track that 0:02:52.800 --> 0:02:55.359 when I look back, I realized that, yeah, I wasn't 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:58.120 in a great place and I was pretty much, yeah, 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:01.399 borderline probably you could say alcoholic in a way. Yes 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:04.440 it was only a binge drinker. But the amount I 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:09.360 was probably binge drinking on the on those times was 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:15.000 very excessive. And I think the worrying thing that everyone goes, oh, yeah, 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:16.880 but that's what you know, that's what people do, and 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:19.639 that's what everyone, every young person does on weekends, and 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:23.639 that's fine. But I think the bigger picture was that 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:28.120 I'd have these blackouts, and the blackouts wouldn't pass me 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:31.400 out or you know, stop me from doing things, and 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:35.320 it just just meant that I wouldn't remember things, which 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:38.800 is yeah, like I said, at the time, you don't 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.840 really worry about it too much, but now they'll look 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:44.880 back on it that it's pretty scary really, and just 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:48.360 to think that, yeah, the situations I probably put myself 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:51.520 in at times could have been a lot worse for me. 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:53.520 Like you said that, yeah, you would journo and you 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:56.520 could have quite easily even just something small in the 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:01.840 paper or in the news about me. But yeah, obviously 0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:03.120 you didn't and thankfully for that. 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:06.760 But it's you didn't do anything too bad for an affair. 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:10.280 Statement, correct. And that's what I think worries me the 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:14.720 most is over the years when I was probably at 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:20.000 my worst with the alcohol and going through these blackouts, 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.400 people go, yes, I've had them, and oh, yeah, I've 0:04:22.440 --> 0:04:24.159 had him a handful of times. That's what people say. 0:04:24.200 --> 0:04:27.000 You know, gone out two hundred times and only had 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:30.160 them five times. It's that's pretty good. Whereas I'm the opposite. 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:33.679 I go out two hundred times, and maybe one hundred 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:38.080 and seventy of those times, I wouldn't remember a certain 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:40.840 amount of hours in the night, and it might sometimes 0:04:40.920 --> 0:04:42.800 it might be one hour, two hours. Other nights it 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:46.800 could be a whole five to six seven hours that 0:04:46.880 --> 0:04:49.480 you have no recollect I have no recollection of. And 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:53.279 I think like talking to people, I think, when I 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:57.680 met Anna, is your wife now? And wife now? And 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.840 then just talking to her about nights out, like we 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:03.120 we'd go out together and then we come home and 0:05:03.160 --> 0:05:06.279 I'd miss I'd miss hours and chat to her about 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:11.240 it and she'd go, oh you like you'll find like, yeah, 0:05:11.279 --> 0:05:13.080 you're drunk. And you were and you weren't in a 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:16.640 good way. But like, I'd still have conversations with people, 0:05:16.720 --> 0:05:22.800 I'd still be dancing, having fun, but personally, in the 0:05:22.839 --> 0:05:26.159 next day, I wouldn't have remembered X amount of hours. 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:28.640 So how much would you drink in a night? 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:34.440 Oh, ridiculous amounts? I think, you know, like I was, 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:36.159 Probably I was in a good place. I was playing 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:38.880 test cricket, so I'd get looked after it a lot 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.560 of places, which you know, it's a great thing. You know, 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:44.480 You've got a lot of friends in high places, and 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:47.760 obviously they spoil you. I had a lot of mates that, yeah, 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:52.160 ran and owned clubs and and I think, yeah, you 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:54.280 just sort of lose track of what you're doing. I'd 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:56.600 be I'd be going up, I'd be goldering drinks. I'd 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:59.000 be having shots at the bar while I was waiting 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:02.680 for my drink to get get finished. Yes, it could 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:06.240 be an excess of you know, people probably laughing. You're 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:10.440 probably talking twenty five thirty drinks, could be more, depending 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:12.400 on you know, like that, how long the day's been, 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:16.040 how long the night's been, how much money and how 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:23.359 many days it's been. Ridiculous amounts? I think I'm probably 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:27.240 lucky I didn't gamble, because gambling with the amount I 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:29.080 was drinking probably could have been Yeah, it could have 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:33.800 been a huge danger. So thankfully for that. But I 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:35.240 look back on it now and I think when we 0:06:35.279 --> 0:06:36.800 talk about it, I sort of break it down to 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:40.600 I was saying I was spending a thousand, on average, 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:44.400 one thousand dollars a week just on whether it was 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:46.880 food drink, like going out food drinks. 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:48.919 How long has it been since you've had a drink. 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:55.440 We're in February and we're coming up to May. So 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:59.360 May fifteen, twenty twelve, it was the last time I 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:03.600 touch the drop of alcohol, so coming up eight years, which, yeah, 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:07.440 it's pretty exciting really that. Yeah, to be sober that long, 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:09.800 not sort of you know, like I don't even think 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:12.160 about drink. And that's the big thing I think. You know, 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:14.760 a lot of people, yeah obviously try and do it 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:16.880 and say how hard it is, But I guess it's 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:19.960 just about you just got to wake up sometimes and 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:23.800 you know, look look at try and make life better. 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:27.080 And I think when you're going through the times I 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:29.080 was having, I was probably thinking I was having a 0:07:29.120 --> 0:07:30.880 lot of fun. I'm not going to lie. At the time, 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:32.640 I was having a lot of fun, meeting a lot 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:36.200 of people. But I think, yeah, it's now that I 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:39.440 look back on it that scares me the most about 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:40.960 what I was doing. I think, you know, just the 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:43.640 position I was put myself in and just the things 0:07:43.640 --> 0:07:44.400 that could have happened. 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:48.040 You use the word alcoholic before. Are you serious about 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:49.200 the use of that word. 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.680 I think so because I think I think if I 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:56.440 just said I was a binge drinker, that it probably 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:58.160 makes it sound better, and you know, it makes it 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:00.920 look better for everyone else, and people probably you know, 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:03.760 people probably listen to it and go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:06.120 drinks on the weekend, you know, but yeah, sometimes weekends 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:10.560 might have been you know, three, four, sometime five days 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.560 in a row. That's like, it's not I wouldn't sit 0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:16.440 at home, like at dinner and have a drink. I 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:20.280 didn't actually like, as weird as this probably sounds, I 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.760 didn't actually like alcohol. I just liked the fact to 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:25.400 get get drunk have fun. 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:29.800 You're trying to mask something. Because to drink to that 0:08:29.880 --> 0:08:33.200 extent or any sort of vice, whether it's gambling to 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:38.120 that extent, most people were trying to to self medicate. 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.439 I don't think so. I think I think I was 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:43.520 just trying to I was probably a little bit the opposite. 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:46.400 I've never been. I've been in a pretty good place, 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:50.480 I think most of the time mentally obviously, Yeah, I 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:53.600 travel a lot. There's not a lot of time at 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:57.040 home and around friends and family, so you could think 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:00.560 that it possibly could have been to something, but I 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:01.920 think it was just more of the other way that 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:04.800 I was probably trying to be, you. 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:06.559 Know, embrace the lifetime. 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:09.200 Yeah, yeah, and the biggest celebrity you know. Just yeah, 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:11.360 I was just trying to make the most of probably 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:14.960 where I was in the yeah, I don't know, in 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:16.839 the celebrity status at the time. You know, I was 0:09:16.880 --> 0:09:19.440 playing test cricket for Australia, I was doing really well, 0:09:20.440 --> 0:09:22.800 I was earning good money. I was probably just trying 0:09:22.840 --> 0:09:24.079 to live it up too much. 0:09:24.679 --> 0:09:27.680 So when you'd black out, what's the worst thing that 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:29.560 somebody told you you did the next day? 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:34.120 There's a few that, yeah, sort of come to mind, 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.760 and I think, Yeah, the first thing before I get 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:39.240 to that is, yeah, I'd wake up and it was 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:44.760 literally like my pants, pocket, phone, wallet, that's what I 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:48.400 look for. Then you get the phone, and you'd go 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:51.000 through like messages or phone calls or yeah, who you 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.160 spoke to, trying it a rough idea when you got home, 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:55.800 how long you've been home? Got no idea. 0:09:57.120 --> 0:09:57.800 Whether you're home? 0:09:57.960 --> 0:10:00.520 Yeah, that was probably that was probably water this set 0:10:00.559 --> 0:10:02.600 the first time was yeah to actually, yeah, to see 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.760 where I am. But yeah, then your phone wallet, so 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:09.920 you messaged hopefully you haven't done anything, but yeah, I think. 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:11.320 But there are occasions that you did. 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:16.120 Yeah, and I think you know, there's obviously Yeah, I've 0:10:16.160 --> 0:10:19.160 done lot loads of things, whether it's you know, put 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:24.000 myself in bad situations. I remember I drove one time. 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:28.719 This sound great, but yeah, I'd parked. This is real 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.520 early doors. I'd been out my cars at a mate's 0:10:31.559 --> 0:10:36.880 house down in down in mentone, and i'd been out 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:40.800 at a buckstoo, been out all night. I thought would 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:43.080 be a good idea to drive home. So I drove 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:46.320 all the way from from there too. I was living 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:50.880 in an apartment building in Parkville, So yeah, drove home. 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.760 How long a drivers aren't it's. 0:10:53.640 --> 0:10:58.480 Probably fifty minutes. Fifty minutes across town and kill someone 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:01.200 and yeah, like you don't think much of it. I 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:05.280 think the probably only woke up people trying to call 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:09.199 see how it was loads of miss calls and hadn't 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:11.200 woken up in any of those. I woke up to 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:14.120 my door opening, and at my apartment, there's only one 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:15.840 way you could get in, like, you couldn't get to 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.680 my level unless you had had a key, and there's 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:22.080 only one person or two people that had that key, 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:27.120 and that was my parents, and they lived an hour 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:31.319 forty five away from the apartment, and in walk my dad. 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:35.079 I stayed in bed. He just made sure I was okay, 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:40.360 checked on me, went downstairs, checked my car. There's three 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:43.280 levels underneath on the ground, parked in between a couple 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:47.040 of pillars. There's nothing wrong with it, so that's obviously 0:11:47.080 --> 0:11:48.960 a safe thing because he's probably just thinking. He's not 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.840 worried about my car. He's just worried about if there 0:11:51.880 --> 0:11:54.040 is something wrong with it, what have I hit? Who 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:59.240 have I hit? And then he came back up, said 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.440 my car was had a quick little chat to me 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:04.400 for about ten minutes, and then me just been in 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:08.280 that state and not thinking about how far he's driven 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:11.240 to get there. So it's about two hours by now 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:14.800 that he's been on the road and it is. Yeah, 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:18.280 I just pretty much said, yeah, cheers, thanks, that all 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.720 good and went back to sleep, and he pretty much 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:24.199 just walked straight out, jumped in his car and drove home, 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:27.839 and yeah, like stuff like that. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:30.719 You just he didn't know if you were alive. That 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:32.920 is that being too dramatic to say that. 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.280 No, they had no idea I could have been He 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.880 didn't even know if I was there. That's the other thing. 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.520 That's just the first place he went, and. 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:44.199 He'd been contacted by your mates or whoever, because yeah. 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:48.000 No one could get onto me. I driven the car. Yeah, 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.280 so that was that was his obviously first point. That 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:52.880 and lucky I was in bed, so that was fine. 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:54.640 But just the fact that, yeah, I just sort of 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:57.880 dismissed him. I'm not dismissed him, but just didn't think 0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.480 of the how much of effort he he'd made to 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:03.240 get up there and make sure I was okay. So 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:05.720 then yeah, just go back to sleep, him, jump in 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:06.720 the car, drive home. 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:09.800 How does it make you feel now when you think 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:10.360 about it? 0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:16.520 Disgusting? Disgusting. I think just yeah, just I always just 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:20.440 think back. It's just things that could have happened, you know, 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:24.320 like I know other sportsmen, you know, like I had 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:25.800 a mate that I spent a bit of time with, 0:13:26.040 --> 0:13:30.360 Danny Cipriani hasn't got a great rap, but he got 0:13:30.400 --> 0:13:34.280 hit on a celebration Mad Monday thing over in England 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.320 after a rugby game, hit by a bus. He was 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:41.400 in hospital for six weeks. Obviously he was fine after 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:42.800 a bit of a knee and during that kind of 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.360 thing I remember hearing about her. It was a South 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:48.920 African bloke played in the Super fifteen's, had been out 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:52.440 of a nightclub and he yeah, he passed away by 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.839 leaving and leaving a nightclub and getting hit by a bus. 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:57.360 They're the things that scare me the most, I think, 0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.480 just thinking back that my life, that I could have 0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:03.280 put myself in danger driving the car. Yeah, you never 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:05.839 want to say silly things. But it's not the only 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:07.480 time I did it. You know, I've probably done it 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:11.560 three or four times, driving while sometimes knowing what I 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:15.520 was doing, but pretty drunk and just yeah, thinking you're invincible, 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:19.200 and other times and not doing silly things, but just 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.320 the fact that yeah, the state you're in and doing 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.320 it and yeah, and then just yeah, obviously get yeah. 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:29.000 Stuff that's happened to other people bad things whilst they've 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:31.320 been intoxicated, and just think back that, you know, they 0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:34.360 could have quite easily been me. Yeah, and just just 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:36.040 that more and more there are other people that you're 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:39.760 that you're affected along the way. I had no not yeah, 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.360 probably remorse or like I just didn't have any sense 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:49.200 awareness of what they like, how they felt, how they're feeling, or. 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:50.160 What you're putting them through. 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:51.520 Yeah, what I'm putting them through. 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:53.800 Did you ever talk to your dad about that afterwards? 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.520 Nah? I still I still haven't to this day talked 0:14:57.520 --> 0:15:01.040 about it. I think I think just because it makes 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:04.160 me so sick. I was just selfish. That's probably what 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:06.200 it comes down to it. The most is I did 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:09.920 everything for myself, still looked after people on the way 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:12.360 while I was doing it, But I was very selfish 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:16.360 towards other people, how I treated people. I think that's 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:18.840 because I haven't spoken a lot about it. I think 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:21.040 that's where people, you know, when I went through all 0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:24.000 the changes and everything like that, they sort of just 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:25.880 look back and go, oh, you're an idiot, what are 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:29.080 you doing? But I didn't feel comfortable back then, you know, 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:33.480 talk about the situations that i'd been in I'd put 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:36.800 myself through to obviously get me to that position now 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:41.120 where I'm happy to talk about it, especially to younger 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:46.320 guys or my teammates more so because we're in a 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:48.480 lucky place that yes, we earn pretty good money and 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:50.400 we get to live a pretty good lifestyle, and we 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.640 got looked after quite well when we go out and 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:56.760 about and through different contacts and stuff like that. But 0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:58.840 I'll try and tell them as much as I can, 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:01.560 because at the end of the day then they can 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.760 make their own decision. If they stuff up, so be it. 0:16:04.880 --> 0:16:08.400 But least I've given them pure evidence of what it 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:11.720 can do, how bad it can get. If it helps 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.400 one player or stops one player not from drinking, but 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:19.120 you know, just maybe drinking a bit smarter, then I 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:20.160 feel I've achieved something. 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.200 Tell me about the ashes and the night that you 0:16:23.280 --> 0:16:26.840 almost almost beat someone up. Is that a fair summary? 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:30.520 Yeah? Pretty much, I think yes this. Yeah, it was 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:34.120 early on my Test career two thousand and nine ashes 0:16:34.120 --> 0:16:36.520 and first Ashes trip, but only been playing six months. 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:39.160 And yeah, we won a good Test match in Headingley 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:44.080 and Brad Hadden and I am very close mates still 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.920 to this day. One of my best mates and yeah 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:50.240 we'll out and about with Michael Clark and yeah we'd 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:51.680 had a long night and it was early hours of 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.880 the morning. And yeah, obviously over in England there's always 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.960 people hanging shit on you and you know, getting stuck 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:01.000 in and bit of banter. And we've come out of this. 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.640 I don't know, min It's just like a little food 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.679 placed early hours in the morning, having some hot chips 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:11.439 and the kabab, I think. And yeah, they kept mouthing 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:14.199 off and Hads and I both pretty agro blokes at 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:17.160 the best of times. Let alone with you know, our 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:19.639 guts full of alcohol and not in a good place. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:25.120 And yeah, pretty much we proceeded to you know, walk 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:28.040 towards him and approach him and have a go back, 0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:29.920 and yeah, sort of jumped forward a bit. It wasn't 0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:33.480 till the next morning when I woke going down to breakfast, 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.600 you know, the pretty hungover, not thinking much about, not 0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:38.840 remembering much of the last night. On the first bloke 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:41.200 I see, he's waiting down in the interception for me 0:17:41.240 --> 0:17:43.320 as the media manager, which is one of my good mates. 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:45.439 So that's fine. He's like Seid's we've got a bit 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:48.879 of a problem. I'm like, oh, I know, and he's like, 0:17:48.920 --> 0:17:52.440 I've got a video, and I'm like, oh no, what's 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:57.399 going on here? Then he shows me the video thankfully Obviously, 0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:00.879 oh nine, videos and camera weren't quite as good as 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:03.520 they are these days, so it's probably saved me to 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:05.680 an extent. But Yeah, he'd been sent a video from 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:09.320 one of the one of the papers over there. These 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:12.640 guys had pretty much set us up in a way, 0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:17.040 probably thinking that we wouldn't react, and Yeah had videoed 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:21.399 about fifteen seconds of me pretty much approaching them mouthing 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.399 off back at him. There wasn't a lot of their 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:28.840 mouthing off in the in the video, funnily enough, and 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:31.200 Yeah pretty much proceeded to get grab a bloke and 0:18:31.800 --> 0:18:34.200 had him by the throat up against the wall, and 0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:38.600 then it cuts out. So I woke up in a 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.080 good place, as in, there was nothing wrong with me, 0:18:41.200 --> 0:18:45.119 so obviously it didn't. Nothing must have eventuated after that, 0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:49.919 but you don't remember. I don't remember a thing. Literally, 0:18:50.000 --> 0:18:54.800 Yeah woke up. Yeah. Then at the first I had 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:57.359 actually heard about it, even though I committed it was 0:18:57.480 --> 0:19:00.480 Yeah off the media manager from the video he'd sent. 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:04.920 And then Yeah, thankfully that there probably wasn't clear enough 0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:08.040 and they didn't run it, so nothing ever came of it. 0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.240 So they couldn't prove it was you though you knew. 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:13.040 Yeah, yeah, you could pretty much tell that, you know, 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:15.639 the rough, rough picture of the clothes that I was 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:19.000 willing and and the voice and stuff like that you 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:21.440 could sort of tail, but probably not enough just to 0:19:21.640 --> 0:19:22.320 throw it out there. 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:24.760 So stuff like that can cost a career. 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:29.000 They can. Same as all the other stories, is that, yeah, 0:19:29.160 --> 0:19:32.080 you don't think about it at the time, like I 0:19:32.400 --> 0:19:34.920 did not even other than you know, getting a little 0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:37.280 reprimand like I got in a bit of trouble from 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:42.280 the from the manager captain obviously Pana the coach at 0:19:42.320 --> 0:19:45.479 the time. Yeah, I wasn't. I was in a lot 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:51.200 of trouble, you know. But yeah, it's not not not 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:53.200 to get put out in the public eye, I think, 0:19:53.280 --> 0:19:55.080 you know. That's that saved me a lot, just probably 0:19:55.119 --> 0:19:57.680 not so much from getting in trouble, but more just 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:00.520 probably reputation wise and things like that, like, yeah, some 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:03.240 people that could easily just get straight in the press 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:06.120 and come out of it for a really bad perception 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:08.800 of what you are as a person or who you are, and. 0:20:10.359 --> 0:20:12.560 Did you take it seriously though at the time, no, 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:13.159 probably not. 0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:16.800 I was what it was two thousand and nine. Yeah, 0:20:17.240 --> 0:20:21.400 was only twenty four, playing cricket for Australia. Yeah, I'm 0:20:21.440 --> 0:20:23.640 opening the bar and you got away with it. Yeah, 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:27.440 and yeah, I don't even think twice. Yeah I got 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:29.840 away with it. Oh yeah, I'll calm down my drinking 0:20:29.840 --> 0:20:32.239 a little bit. I pulled my head in a little bit. 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:36.160 But that's the thing. I'd go through those little phases 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:38.320 where my pull on my head in would be for 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:42.600 you know, two more weeks serious finishes. You have a 0:20:42.640 --> 0:20:44.160 big one, you go home, you back with your mates, 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:47.120 and same thing happens again. You're out having drink, having fun, 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:50.040 catching up with people, and you were going out having 0:20:50.080 --> 0:20:51.560 the blackouts on benders. 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:53.679 Is that fair to say? Like days and days on end. 0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:58.360 Yeah, I could go for days and I think, yeah, 0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:02.159 but this is able to sort of hide it, not 0:21:02.280 --> 0:21:04.600 even sometimes not even really hiding it, but just be 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:07.199 able to, you know, get by doing it. I think 0:21:07.600 --> 0:21:11.200 I could rock up the training. I could train hard. 0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:14.640 I could get through it and then go home sleep 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:18.320 all day just to just to recover, and and then 0:21:18.560 --> 0:21:21.480 you know, get closer to the weekend again and you 0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:24.200 just sort of restart it and and and go and 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:24.680 go again. 0:21:25.640 --> 0:21:29.080