WEBVTT - The Best Bits: Midday Befuddlement 

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<v Speaker 1>I Heeart podcasts.

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<v Speaker 2>You can hear more gold one I four point three podcasts,

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<v Speaker 2>playlist and listen live on the free iHeart app. Got

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<v Speaker 2>anything good?

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, this is the Christian O'Connell show podcast. Now, Patsy,

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<v Speaker 1>you got caught with the parking fine yesterday.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't get me started, but passes.

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<v Speaker 2>I think in this city there are parking signs that

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<v Speaker 2>are impenetrable, undecipherable.

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<v Speaker 1>Four to five different signs. Yeah, it's when there's.

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<v Speaker 2>Like the crest of arms, the Herald, where it's up

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<v Speaker 2>four quadrants. You're like, with no training, with no formal training,

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<v Speaker 2>how I want to know what are the different clauses

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm looking at here? It's like a legal contract

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<v Speaker 2>in a different language, isn't it? But your one is

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<v Speaker 2>one of those split down the middle with the no

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<v Speaker 2>parking sign.

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<v Speaker 3>All right, I see what you're saying, but let's put

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<v Speaker 3>it into context. One o'clock in the afternoon, half asleep,

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<v Speaker 3>been up since the middle of the night, and obviously.

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<v Speaker 2>Walking up that hill again with that sack of wooden

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<v Speaker 2>bare feet in the snow. But since midnight.

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<v Speaker 3>Mine was playing tricks yet again, and I seriously thought

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<v Speaker 3>I was in the right, I thought, No, I thought

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<v Speaker 3>it was unusual that I got to park right out

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<v Speaker 3>in the front of a cafe. I was meeting the

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<v Speaker 3>love God for lunch yesterday at Williamstown.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh lovely.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it was just one of those opportunity rings me. Hey,

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<v Speaker 3>I've got a spare twenty minutes, half an hour, let's

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<v Speaker 3>meet for oh yeah, for you know, get a lunch,

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<v Speaker 3>and how's your father and so, oh my.

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<v Speaker 1>God, restaurant.

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<v Speaker 2>Suddenly they're in the kitchen, in that meat locker.

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<v Speaker 1>And right out the front, and Bob's your uncle.

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<v Speaker 3>Right out the front is the park, which I thought

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<v Speaker 3>was really unusual.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I know, why are you always got to be suspicious?

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<v Speaker 3>A damn loading zone? And I parked there very fully, confident.

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<v Speaker 3>And when I went in and met Chris, I said,

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<v Speaker 3>you never believe I've got a park right out the front,

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<v Speaker 3>right out the front. It never happens. And then came

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<v Speaker 3>out and the damn ticket blowing in the.

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<v Speaker 1>Break more than your lunch, more far more.

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<v Speaker 3>Than the lunch. I could have flown on a lear

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<v Speaker 3>jet to Paris and had lunch.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh.

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<v Speaker 3>I was so annoyed. I thought, Oh, how stupid. I

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<v Speaker 3>just did not interpret it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's correctly, it's crystal clearly. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't want to be rude Patsy, but this is

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<v Speaker 4>just two signs. The top says loading signs seven am

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<v Speaker 4>to one pm as Monday to Saturday. From there you

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<v Speaker 4>just goboard's one pm Monday to Saturday.

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<v Speaker 1>A child could read this.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't see that.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well you can't have looked at it.

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<v Speaker 2>You must just dump that car there, thinking I work

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<v Speaker 2>in showbiz, I'll park it where I want.

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<v Speaker 1>And I threw the keys at somebody. Where's that valet? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, probably some poor guy wants to unload some fruit

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<v Speaker 2>and veggs for the place and now has to go

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<v Speaker 2>on and do laps or something.

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<v Speaker 3>And that all those peaches and that it was awful,

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<v Speaker 3>and it was kind of on a funny bit of

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<v Speaker 3>a road where there's like a bend and either side

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<v Speaker 3>of it obviously is normal parks. I don't know what

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<v Speaker 3>I was thinking. It just did not compute in my brain.

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<v Speaker 2>It is what I would say they need to do

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<v Speaker 2>in this country to save the suburbs.

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<v Speaker 1>Right from online shopping, it's really hard to park at

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<v Speaker 1>your local places.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah it is.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know what the answer is, but it's making

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<v Speaker 2>it really hard. This is why they run the risk

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<v Speaker 2>of people going online, because we're just lazy and time staff.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a nightmare. You've got these narrow little streets. Trying

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<v Speaker 2>to park is an absolute nightmare, isn't it bad?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>It is?

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<v Speaker 3>And you always a small business, Yes, I feel really

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<v Speaker 3>really sorry for them because everyone's going to the major

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<v Speaker 3>shopping malls. This is a beautiful little strip William gorgeous. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>and you know that's where you'll find those shops that

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<v Speaker 3>aren't like the big multinationals, all the little boutiques and

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<v Speaker 3>just struggling business owners who God knows.

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<v Speaker 2>We've got to hang on to that because one of

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<v Speaker 2>the lovely things about this country is all the suburbs

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<v Speaker 2>in Melbourne right are different.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I really really like that.

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<v Speaker 2>They've got their own little mum and pop stores and

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<v Speaker 2>businesses that have been in those communities for decades, right,

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<v Speaker 2>and obviously during that really got damaged, not them aunt

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<v Speaker 2>there anymore.

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<v Speaker 1>So the ones that.

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<v Speaker 2>Are really really they're part of the community. They know you, yes, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, and they ask they start to know like

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<v Speaker 2>you because they see you a lot like most weeks.

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<v Speaker 2>They know what you've been through in your life and

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<v Speaker 2>what's happened, and we really need that. That's why the

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<v Speaker 2>well the last domains of an actual community now is

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<v Speaker 2>that because some of the old pubs are dying out now,

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<v Speaker 2>no one goes to church and so that connection with

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<v Speaker 2>someone those local shops is really really important. I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know what the answers, but they need some way where

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<v Speaker 2>it's just easier for us to dump the cars without

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<v Speaker 2>fearing of I can't read this parking sign.

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<v Speaker 1>I just go click and collect.

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<v Speaker 4>At least take the parking signs completely idiot proof.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I'm having a go at Patsy having some midday befuddlement,

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<v Speaker 2>because this is exactly what happened to me yesterday at

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<v Speaker 2>one o'clock when I terrified an old lady.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh no, so full discosures to happen next Christian O'Connell

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<v Speaker 1>show podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>So Patsy had her midday fusion the essay I had

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<v Speaker 2>perfuddlement at midday. You're right, Patsy. It's with these hours

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<v Speaker 2>and the amount of years doing them that that sort

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<v Speaker 2>of one till two is the gray zone. You can

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<v Speaker 2>just wig out. My family no, not to even call

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<v Speaker 2>me unless they really need to. My wife will begin

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<v Speaker 2>if she does come, and then have you had your nap?

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<v Speaker 1>And I go, no, all.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, call me back when you work it out. And

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<v Speaker 2>you've had a cup of tea. So there needs to

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<v Speaker 2>be a buffer zone. You're bad to come out with hibernation. Anyway, Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>I was running some errands and I didn't realize at

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<v Speaker 2>the time it all drifted and I was in the

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<v Speaker 2>gray zone, and so I was returning to my car.

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't returning to my car. I was returned to

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<v Speaker 2>a car exactly the same color as mine, not exactly

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<v Speaker 2>the same make or model, but exactly the same color,

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<v Speaker 2>a mid sized suv. I rip open the door. It's unlocked,

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<v Speaker 2>and thinking I'm getting in my car. Well, suddenly an

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<v Speaker 2>old lady in the passenger seat, and I mean a

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<v Speaker 2>really old, frail lady actually shrieks. I really scared, as

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<v Speaker 2>I would do, because you know, there's all these car jackets,

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<v Speaker 2>and suddenly looks like there's some devilishly handsome, roguish one,

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<v Speaker 2>a charmer, a charmer roguish one, a rakish one, right

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<v Speaker 2>is in the car some English cat. Excuse me, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>so sorry. So two things happened. She actually was oh

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<v Speaker 2>my god, no, she was actually really, I really did

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<v Speaker 2>scare her. At the same time, I'm thinking we're part

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<v Speaker 2>just down the road from an age care home, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking, oh, this poor old deer, I'm now going

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<v Speaker 2>to have to try and explain this isn't her car

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<v Speaker 2>and take her back to the unit where there's probably

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<v Speaker 2>some alarm going right now. Then I realized in a minute,

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<v Speaker 2>this isn't the badge of.

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<v Speaker 1>My my.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm the only confused doddery fole here.

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<v Speaker 1>Going to take you back to your where there's no

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<v Speaker 1>alarm being wrong for my disappearance.

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<v Speaker 2>They're like, oh, how do you explain your way out

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<v Speaker 2>of that one?

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<v Speaker 1>To the lady, I actually went bright red, was so

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I was, I'm so sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>I thought this was my car and she just didn't

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<v Speaker 2>understand because I think she was very old and she's

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<v Speaker 2>very confused and actually really scared. She was doing that

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<v Speaker 2>thing like leaning back. The worst thing I saw my

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<v Speaker 2>last is of her clutching double handed her handbag.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the first thing you'd go for thing, and it

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<v Speaker 1>did look like a blinger one.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not the half of me, did think and won

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<v Speaker 2>if you some cash in there by myself something money's

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<v Speaker 2>tight at the moment, I could just you could spit,

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<v Speaker 2>spend me a honey or something in there. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I was just I really was like I was so

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<v Speaker 2>confused my car and I was like, my car is

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<v Speaker 2>too up, and she was like trying to look and

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<v Speaker 2>as I then got into my car, I was like

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<v Speaker 2>looking back to her and she was on the phat

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<v Speaker 2>to somebody and I thought, hopefully that's just like someone

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<v Speaker 2>who's like dumped her there, or it's on the places

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<v Speaker 2>it might be pulled over if I accidentally kidnapped an elderly.

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<v Speaker 1>And this was just like a dry run. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm very confused these hours.

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<v Speaker 2>We can't reaparking signs or what car we even getting into.

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<v Speaker 1>I should be driving from that time. The Christian Connell

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<v Speaker 1>Show podcast