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Speaker 1: Quest.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome friends to the Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you had dreams. That's why I picked that song,

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Speaker 1: helped set this up. Maybe you had dreams. We all

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Speaker 1: have dreams. Some of them don't get to happen though,

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Speaker 1: do they Today? I want to know what did you

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Speaker 1: try out for but not get it? Sketching up with

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Speaker 1: an old friend of mine yesterday in the UK and

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Speaker 1: we were reminiscing about the time that his life that

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Speaker 1: was going to take a very different turn. He came

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Speaker 1: very close to being The Arsenal football club in London

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Speaker 1: is a very old club known as the Gunners, and

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Speaker 1: they have a big mascot that's a kind of green

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Speaker 1: dinosaur called Gunnosaurus. He came very close to being hired

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Speaker 1: for an entire season. He's a mad fan of the club.

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Speaker 1: It would have been a really big deal with him, right.

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Speaker 1: We still laugh about the You know when you laugh

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Speaker 1: about something, your friend laughs a bit, but years later

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Speaker 1: just out there's still a core like it still hurts

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Speaker 1: him because he still believes he should have got the

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Speaker 1: job as Gunnosaurus. He was going to be their mascot.

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Speaker 3: Or you like for him and all your mates to

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Speaker 3: know that like me.

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Speaker 1: You know, and he be there before the home games

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Speaker 1: and stuff like that. It would have been a big

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Speaker 1: thing in his life. But anyway, he didn't get it,

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Speaker 1: and I was wondering to him other things that you

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Speaker 1: tried out for that you really wanted to get but

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Speaker 1: just didn't happen. It just happen to you, Jackie Boy.

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Speaker 3: I tried out when I was doing community radio in

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Speaker 3: high school. I was a teenager and tried out for

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Speaker 3: a work experience video that was going to go into

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Speaker 3: every school in the country where I would be the

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Speaker 3: host and explain how you get through work.

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Speaker 1: We got what an honor.

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Speaker 3: I didn't get it, but I got offered another role

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Speaker 3: in the video where I just had to wear overalls

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Speaker 3: and be in the background of a factory as a

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Speaker 3: work experience kid, non speaking.

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Speaker 1: Non speaking. That guy who's talking in this audition high

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Speaker 1: him no words, put it in the back, give him

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Speaker 1: a broom.

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Speaker 3: But my mom still has the VHS tape.

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Speaker 1: That's awesome. Our producer Tom has got a great story

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Speaker 1: about a TV show in New Zealand that he tried

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Speaker 1: out for. Tom what was the show?

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Speaker 2: It was a thing called The Go Show, which was

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Speaker 2: like a children's TV show. It was like High Five

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Speaker 2: or The Wiggles, but a low budget.

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Speaker 1: The Kiwi version of The Wiggles hosted by Dave Dobbin.

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Speaker 1: And what was the what was the audition? What did

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Speaker 1: you have to do?

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Speaker 2: We just saw a flyer at the pub and so

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Speaker 2: figured we'd give it the last.

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Speaker 1: We're going to find the next Wiggles? Isn't it drinking

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Speaker 1: a pub? In New Secrets, you find kids entertainers? Are

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Speaker 1: you not put down the paints? Come with us?

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Speaker 3: I'm looking at the cover of The Go Show and

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Speaker 3: the three presenters who end up getting hired sticking their

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Speaker 3: head out of a cartoon rocket, and I just can't

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Speaker 3: pitch you Tom being one of the three people entertaining

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Speaker 3: kids for a living.

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Speaker 2: It was a real sliding doors moment because I vividly

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Speaker 2: remember being on a TV set in New Zealand dresses

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Speaker 2: a turtle with my friend Jake dresses a whale, singing

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Speaker 2: a song about turtles and whales, and thinking just to

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Speaker 2: be like.

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Speaker 1: One could have been. And now you're here on this show.

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Speaker 1: Every time he sees you and I thinks about that

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Speaker 1: singing turtle.

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Speaker 3: How was like I could have been a turtle?

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Speaker 1: Laping doors moments. All right, what did you try out

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Speaker 1: for but not get? This is the Christian O'Connell show podcast. Christian,

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Speaker 1: I got through to the in personal auditions for Who

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Speaker 1: Wants to Be a Millionaire and Deal or No Deal

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Speaker 1: back in the day. Clearly I didn't have anything interesting

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Speaker 1: or sad enough to get on air with Eddie or

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Speaker 1: Andrew or win anything. I remember a din or No Deal.

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Speaker 1: They did a fake out and pretended Andrew o'kief will

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Speaker 1: be there to meet us. The disappointment.

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Speaker 3: Here start sitting down at interview that whole audience of deal.

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Speaker 1: Mumbles turned up with a truckloads. We just want to

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Speaker 1: get on TV. I remember two years ago my agent,

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Speaker 1: you know my agent, old Hollywood, Right, it's the same guy.

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Speaker 1: He ran an amazing opportunity, Christian, for you to be

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Speaker 1: on daytime TV all across Australia. I don't know it

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Speaker 1: goes and it was a very very well known daytime

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Speaker 1: quiz show right and said all these things. There's not

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Speaker 1: really any room to do it. You're just asking questions.

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Speaker 1: He goes, no, no, no, they've heard what you do. This

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Speaker 1: is always lie. They love what you do on the

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Speaker 1: radio and they want you to be spontaneous. Went all right,

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Speaker 1: and go along. They want you to do an audition.

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Speaker 1: I went right again, I go along right, and they

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Speaker 1: go and I'm handed this light. It must be thirty

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Speaker 1: pages and it's an episode. So I'm going to do

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Speaker 1: an episode where one of them is going to be

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Speaker 1: a contestant. So anyway, they go, so, you know, we

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Speaker 1: want you to add lib you know, be warm and

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Speaker 1: friend and I'm like, yeah, this is what I did.

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Speaker 1: This is great. Anyway, I start chatting to this person's

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Speaker 1: pretend to be a butcher, and they go, there's a something.

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Speaker 1: I see someone with a stop watch. I start chatting

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Speaker 1: and they go, stop, you're gonna have to go again.

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Speaker 1: But quicker, you had libbing every contestant. I was only

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Speaker 1: allowed eight seconds, asked questions eight seconds, and then every

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Speaker 1: time I did a true question, stop, go again. You

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Speaker 1: need to get the questions in under fifteen seconds. And

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Speaker 1: I remember walking out of there and my agent round went,

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Speaker 1: they've offered you what. I don't want it. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's two hundred episodes a year, you'll be rolling in it.

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Speaker 1: I went, I don't want that. I don't want it.

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Speaker 1: All right, what did you try out for but didn't

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Speaker 1: get nine four one four one four three oh and.

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Speaker 4: Good on ing good on in Christian How are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm good? So what's your story for a something? So?

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Speaker 4: I used to swim for my school on a Saturday

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Speaker 4: morning and there was diving as well, and one of

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Speaker 4: our divers was injured, so I was asked to step

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Speaker 4: in for him. I was going to do a back somersault,

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Speaker 4: so start standing up and enter with my feet and

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Speaker 4: he said, na, nah, you got to do it back

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Speaker 4: one and a half so that you're going with your hands.

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Speaker 4: It looks more impressive. Okay, but I've never done that before.

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Speaker 4: How do I do that?

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Speaker 5: You guys?

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Speaker 4: It's easy. Just spin and rotate and when you're in

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Speaker 4: the air, throw your head back, look for the water.

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Speaker 4: Spot the water, and make yourself as hard as a board.

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Speaker 1: And even if you're describing it, all of this sounds impossible,

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Speaker 1: bending physics and the laws of space.

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Speaker 4: Well, I don't have the body of a gymnasts, so

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Speaker 4: I'm a fairly big blake. So this was going to

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Speaker 4: be a decent task for me to achieve. So I

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Speaker 4: got on the board, went up, looked for the water,

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Speaker 4: kicked out hard and my back. Instead of going in vertically,

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Speaker 4: I went in horizontally like a big ocean. The sound

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Speaker 4: resonated off the pool wall, and as I floated back

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Speaker 4: up to the surface in pain that I'd never experienced before,

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Speaker 4: I did notice that I was getting a standing ovation

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Speaker 4: from the fund. When I looked over to the scorers,

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Speaker 4: I got a zero for an incomplete dive. So I

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Speaker 4: did not get to complete the dive. The nice thing

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Speaker 4: was about five grates is later, when I was up

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Speaker 4: on the blox, I stood up and with my back

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Speaker 4: glowing like a red traffic light, everyone gave me a

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Speaker 4: standing ovation.

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Speaker 1: Again this ovation, This is amazing.

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Speaker 4: The pain that I was enduring was was worth a

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Speaker 4: standing ovation.

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh and that's a great story, well told. Thank

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Speaker 1: you very much, No, thank you. Here we go, Heirvanna, Giovanna.

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Speaker 6: Good morning, Christian team. Here are you going?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're going, Javannah, Welcome to the show. So what

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Speaker 1: did you try out for but not get Oh?

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Speaker 6: Back in the early eighties, when I was a young

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Speaker 6: girl in high school, I tried out for the missed

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Speaker 6: potato Queen of Koi rap.

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Speaker 1: I love the story already, So what do you have

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Speaker 1: to do to be crowned miss Potato Queen of Cooie Rap.

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Speaker 6: Well, you had to answer. You had to get interviewed

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Speaker 6: by a local committee and they wanted to know, you know,

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Speaker 6: your aspirations as a young woman, how you could contribute

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Speaker 6: to the local community. But I missed out. I think

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Speaker 6: the winner's mother was on the committee.

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Speaker 5: Yes, you reckon.

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Speaker 3: There was some corruption going on behind the scenes.

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Speaker 6: Oh, just a little, I think, but all good. So

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Speaker 6: they had floats and everything. It was such a big

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Speaker 6: deal and they'd have a big dinner and you've got

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Speaker 6: awarded your crown and sash. It was a big thing.

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Speaker 3: What does the potato Queen wear?

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Speaker 6: She doesn't wear a potato.

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Speaker 1: Remember this was the eighties. I'm guessing not much actually

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Speaker 1: naked as a spot You'll be all right, Jeevanna. Thank

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Speaker 1: you very much. You cool.

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Speaker 5: Thank you. The Christian O'Connell show podcast.

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Speaker 1: Last few stories. Then what did you try out for

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Speaker 1: but not get? Good morning, Tony?

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Speaker 5: Oh good a Christian? How are you?

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Speaker 1: I'm good Tony? Thanks for calling the show. And what

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Speaker 1: did you try out for?

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Speaker 5: Well, back in the late eighties, we tried out for

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Speaker 5: me and a friend of mine tried out for a Perfect

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Speaker 5: Match back in the eighties.

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Speaker 1: Huge shows, weren't they.

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Speaker 5: We turned up at a little church in South Melbourne.

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Speaker 5: The thing was that I actually made it through, but

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Speaker 5: they sort of they put me on something called Perfect

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Speaker 5: Match Personal, which wasn't actually it was like a it's

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Speaker 5: hard to describe. I just did it speel.

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Speaker 3: And this doesn't it doesn't actually sound like you're on

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Speaker 3: a TV show? Who were They.

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Speaker 1: Might not be the best call to us and speak

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Speaker 1: to a council or something. Pants off what I'm.

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Speaker 5: Still I'm still getting ribbed because I think it was

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Speaker 5: Tiffany Lamb. She started laughing at me and Greg Evans

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Speaker 5: gave her the side ironsid what he puts on.

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Speaker 1: We're struggling to understand the scene here, Tony understanding the

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Speaker 1: producers decision.

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Speaker 5: Now I can't get over it, and I'm still getting

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Speaker 5: ribbed over it. And we're still trying to find the

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Speaker 5: video the footage. A friend of mine, it's his mate,

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Speaker 5: his lifelong ambition to try and find the footage.

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Speaker 3: Huggy used to do the voiceovers for Perfect Match.

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Speaker 1: He's such a legend. We'll have to ask Hunky Don

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Speaker 1: does he know about classified the spin of thing? So

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Speaker 1: you weren't on the TV.

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Speaker 5: I was. I was, but it was called Perfect Match

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Speaker 5: Personals where they just played a little crab and some

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Speaker 5: photos of been with Maria Porns mustro spec in the eighties.

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Speaker 1: Right, gotcha?

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Speaker 3: Yes, just stop ringing bells for anybody else. But we

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Speaker 3: have to believe you.

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Speaker 1: All right, Tony, thank you very much. You kill me.

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Speaker 1: I have a good day.

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Speaker 4: Christ you two?

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Speaker 1: Uh what was that? Huggey will be explain this well,

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Speaker 1: he'd better add words to it. He won't explain it,

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Speaker 1: but but he know about it. No, l good morning,

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Speaker 1: Good morning guys.

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Speaker 5: How are you good?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're good? Narall What did you try out for?

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Speaker 6: I've been on I've been on a few game shows,

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Speaker 6: but my all time favorite was Family Feud.

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Speaker 5: And we went along to the audition, got all the

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Speaker 5: way through and my family were dads.

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Speaker 4: What could I say?

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Speaker 1: The family? Let you down?

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Speaker 5: Yep?

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Speaker 4: We they all look like do you using the headlights?

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Speaker 5: What do you doving?

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Speaker 1: They couldn't even give an end, not doing nothing where

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Speaker 1: they stare down the barrel like staring at their camera.

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Speaker 3: Ohm, learning the nudge?

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Speaker 1: Come on god, oh let down my family. That's that's funny.

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Speaker 1: NoREL you poor. You should have hired him actors. Oh

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Speaker 1: that's great, Noelle, thank you very much.

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Speaker 4: You cool.

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Speaker 1: The Christian O'Connell Show podcast