WEBVTT - 'THE BRIDGE' HAS A LASTING IMPACT ON BARDIE! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:01.720 It's in the news today, but it was actually on 0:00:01.800 --> 0:00:02.720 TV Reload the. 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:04.040 Podcast last DeLine. 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:07.840 Welcome back to TV Reload. My name's Benjamin Norris, and 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:10.440 on this podcast I will go behind the scenes with 0:00:10.560 --> 0:00:13.560 the biggest players in television. Each episode you will get 0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:18.440 a front row seat with content makers like executive producers, writers, 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:22.200 editors and casting agents, plus the talent that we see 0:00:22.200 --> 0:00:25.440 on our screen. TV Reload reloads the shows that you 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.479 are currently watching and gives you a better insight into 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:33.000 our television industry and our streaming services. Today on the podcast, 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:36.080 I will continue on from yesterday as I unpacked the 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:40.559 latest reality TV series from endemolshein Australia, which is currently 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:45.000 on Paramount Plus. It is The Bridge. Joining me is 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:48.000 the winner of the series, Barty, who managed to make 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:51.720 the controversial decision to keep most of the money. I 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:54.280 absolutely loved Barty on the show and it's no wonder 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:57.360 why she won, as most of the cast loved her turn. 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:01.000 Varty was certainly a team leader with our heart and 0:01:01.040 --> 0:01:03.279 we will learn throughout this chat that she is a 0:01:03.280 --> 0:01:06.959 fantastic human too. The Bridge saw a cast of unknowns 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.160 forced into a situation where not only building a bridge 0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:14.200 was physically exhausting, but mentally, they faced a conundrum that 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:17.120 would only see one person in charge of how the 0:01:17.200 --> 0:01:21.000 final prize money would be spent. Bardy talks about her 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:24.520 brutal response from fans, why she took the money, and 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:28.080 how she feels about that decision now, and why she 0:01:28.240 --> 0:01:32.120 would never do reality TV again. Today's chat is a 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.679 really interesting chat, and I'm sure you'll be thinking about 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:37.760 it for days. However, let's get started with today's guest. 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:41.160 I'd like to welcome Barti from the Bridge to TV Reload. 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:44.360 It's been a ride. I wouldn't change anything. 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:48.120 You have seventeen days to build the bridge. 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.040 I'm sure a lot of people don't agree with what 0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:52.000 I did, but it's a choice I made and I 0:01:52.040 --> 0:01:54.800 stand by my choice. It is a team effort to 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:58.440 really pull this thing together. To be completely honest, I 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:00.960 don't actually know e exactly where it is. 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:04.280 Should you fail, no one will claim the cat. 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:06.360 You know, being a woman has nothing to do with 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:06.840 what you do. 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:13.560 Will this place change them forever? As they built the bridge? 0:02:14.200 --> 0:02:16.320 The reason you know there's been a lot of talk. 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:17.720 Why didn't I share with Dean? 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:20.480 Hi, Barty, how are you hello? 0:02:21.040 --> 0:02:24.040 I'm doing pretty well. I can't really complain. 0:02:24.760 --> 0:02:27.760 I was just saying to Madison, who I was talking 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:32.880 to before, how unusual his name is to be Madison 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.880 as a boy. But then you also have an unusual name, 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:40.080 which is BARTI. Where does that name come from? 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:45.400 So interestingly enough, So Barty is kind of a family name. 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.920 When I was born, mom didn't really know what to 0:02:49.040 --> 0:02:54.839 call me, and she ended up naming me after her aunt, Barty. 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:58.760 But Barty wasn't really her actual name. Her actual name 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.840 is Marjorie and Barti is just a nickname that they 0:03:01.919 --> 0:03:02.440 gave her. 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:04.640 And yeah, I love it. 0:03:04.680 --> 0:03:08.040 I feel like I feel like a Bardie if you 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:09.320 cannot feel like your name. 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:11.880 But I just feel like it suits Madison. 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:15.360 Suits Madison's so much. And I actually said to his Bace, 0:03:15.680 --> 0:03:18.000 Madison's like regal, but it's also like poison. 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:19.200 Oh my gosh. 0:03:19.360 --> 0:03:24.520 I Madison is just yeah, he's gorgeous, Like he's just 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:27.720 one of those people who you know. He was like, 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:31.480 he's just honest, he goes for it, and yeah, but 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:32.160 he's there. 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:33.800 He's a real good person. 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:37.360 I like your name because as I was watching the show, 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:41.120 I kind of was like, it sounds like Barbie, but 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.600 you're the anti Barbie because, like you know, let's i mean, 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.200 before Barbie went all woke and now there's you know, 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.320 all the different Barbies to fit in with all the 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:51.720 different sizes of women and all the types of women. 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.360 You can even get a chippy Barbie these days, so 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:59.680 there is a Bardi Barbie. But interestingly enough, I kind 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.800 of feel like you are the anti Barbie because yeah, 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:05.000 you're very different to that aesthetic of what we know, 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:06.560 even though you have the blonde hair. 0:04:06.720 --> 0:04:09.400 Okay, so a lot of people do you know, mishear 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:12.600 my name because Barty is not obviously a name you 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:16.840 really ever hear, so people will go, oh, no, Barbie 0:04:17.040 --> 0:04:18.040 and like no with. 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:21.720 A D because I don't know. I just like I 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:22.320 don't really. 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:25.640 Align with being called Barbie. Not in a bad way, 0:04:25.720 --> 0:04:28.520 go her, but I'm kind of just like, no, I'm Bardi. 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:31.359 I'm good with that, Like that's that survive I'm on. 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:33.880 I just love it because it is that. I mean, 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:37.200 you are just not Barbie, and I love that about you. 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:40.160 You're just the modern age woman. And it all sounds 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:42.240 so contrived as it's coming out of my mouth, but 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:43.360 I just think it's amazing. 0:04:43.640 --> 0:04:46.760 Oh, that's so nice. It's so good to hear. I think, 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:49.760 you know, I really love I think. 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.640 You know, when I started my apprenticeship and stuff, I 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:55.400 really struggle to kind of go, Okay, well, I'm a 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.400 woman in a man's world. What does like how do 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.960 I find my femininity here? And how do I feel myself? 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.599 And for a long time, I think I got really 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:10.960 lost in that masculine place. And so finding who I 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:13.279 am and showing up truly as I am as a 0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:16.520 woman has been something I've worked so hard towards and 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:19.760 something I'm really proud of because you know, it doesn't 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:20.360 matter what. 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:21.479 You do where you are. 0:05:22.000 --> 0:05:25.320 If you're a woman, then you can do whatever you want. 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.040 It has you know, being a woman has nothing to. 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:28.760 Do with what you do. 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:30.960 I agree, and I love this thing about you. I 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.160 just think it's like even hearing you talk about it, 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.120 and I just think of all of the young girls 0:05:35.160 --> 0:05:38.280 that would get to watch you on Telly. Not probably now, 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:39.920 because they should watch it when they're a bit older, 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:42.480 but I just think growing up, we didn't have people 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.640 on television like yourself. And yes, you've probably gone through 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:48.360 the struggle to go through that for yourself, but it 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:49.960 gives people something to look up to. 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:51.479 It's so crazy. 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:55.839 I do get messages and stuff from girls and women, 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:59.720 especially in the industry that I'm in. I get a 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:04.200 lot of women reach out, especially from the industry, whether 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:06.600 they're kind of looking to take on a trade or 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:12.039 they've taken one on. And they're always so lovely and 0:06:12.440 --> 0:06:15.719 really are thankful for me showing up as myself in 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:19.400 my journey. And you know, I mean, it's always so 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:23.279 lovely to have people come to you with something like that. 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.040 And I really do believe that. 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:30.440 Seeing someone in that place that you want to be 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:34.080 can be so helpful. But I always, you know, remind 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.280 myself to I can only you know, I can only 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:41.680 show up that way if I'm in good alignment with myself. 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:45.119 I'm being true to myself. And you know, I really 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:47.400 do think when we show up the best for ourselves 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:49.279 and we're able to show up better for the people 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:49.920 around us. 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:53.880 And yeah, where did you get this knowledge from? I 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:56.200 don't want to say that, you know in a condescending 0:06:56.240 --> 0:06:58.120 way about you being young, but you know you have 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:02.880 great leadership skills, you have great insight into the world. 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:04.200 Where does this all come from? 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:06.840 Where does it all come from? Really? 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:10.800 I think in some ways, I've just been through it. 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:15.160 You know, I've just gone through so many different things 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:19.000 in my life, and each time something's come up, it's 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:23.520 been you know, it has been hard, and I've learned 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:26.520 a lot of truths, and you know, there's even times 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:28.760 I look back at myself and I go, you know, 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:30.880 I could have shown up a lot better there, But 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:33.560 I don't know. I think that's just it. I think 0:07:33.600 --> 0:07:36.400 it doesn't really matter how young you are. It's about 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:40.120 where you've been and where you're willing to meet yourself. 0:07:40.160 --> 0:07:44.480 You know, I'm so I so strongly believe in working 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:48.560 on yourself and working through the places you've been. And 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:51.520 I suppose that's a journey I'm on. I'm on that 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:56.440 journey with myself, and it's a great place to be. Well. 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:59.040 I think that it's all fantastic and amazing and so 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:01.680 glad that you got to be on this TV show. 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:04.400 I mean, you've survived the bridge, You've won the bridge. 0:08:04.560 --> 0:08:06.760 How does that all feel now? Looking back? 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:12.440 Looking back on my time on the Bridge is so 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:17.200 surreal and it's so just really difficult to put into 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:20.720 words because when you kind of do something like that. 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.800 I was, you know, I was so far. 0:08:24.320 --> 0:08:28.680 Out of my element, you know, I just it was insane. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.720 You know. The reason I actually took on the challenge 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.640 of doing a bridge was because in my life I 0:08:34.760 --> 0:08:37.120 just felt like, you know, I got a bit comfortable. 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:40.559 Things were, things were as they were, and I think 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:43.080 we need a bit of difficulty to push ourselves to 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:44.880 grow and go to the next level. So that was 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.080 my driving force. I was like, you know, I just 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:49.000 want to get out of my comfort zone and just 0:08:49.120 --> 0:08:52.280 do something. And the bridge definitely did that. You know, 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:56.199 I've never worked so hard in my life. I've never 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:02.120 you know, been so mentally fatigue. It was just something 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:06.079 like nothing I've ever experienced. And to be completely honest, 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:10.400 I feel like in that time there, I went into 0:09:10.920 --> 0:09:16.199 a complete transition of even who I am during the experience. 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:18.959 I mean, they lurius in to these shows with huge 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:21.959 prize money. Did you commit to winning? Well, when did 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.560 you commit to winning? And were you determined to win 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:25.480 the money from the start. 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:31.040 To be completely honest, my driving force every day was 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:35.120 just this mission to do it. And I was so 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:38.040 you know, I wanted to go on there and I 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:42.720 wanted to, like really just get in like, just get 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:46.680 in there and just be so strong and just push 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:50.200 myself and just you know, be that person who shows 0:09:50.280 --> 0:09:52.240 up for all the other women who are out there 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:56.400 absolutely keicky asks because you know, it's not an easy 0:09:56.440 --> 0:09:57.200 thing to do. 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.000 And even one of my favorite things while we were 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:05.959 filming is watching all the other women just absolutely getting it. 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:08.840 You know, everyone was from such different walks of life, 0:10:08.880 --> 0:10:12.959 and they were all just going so hard and pushing 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:17.120 themselves past what they even thought was capable. So every day, 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:22.000 even as a team leader, I really just it was 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:23.280 just about the task. 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:24.319 I think. 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:29.079 Obviously, you know, anyone would be lying to say they 0:10:29.080 --> 0:10:32.200 went on it, and you know, you go on it. 0:10:32.320 --> 0:10:33.280 You know there's a prize. 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:35.560 Of course I was aware there was a prize, but 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:40.360 coming up to final night, just before everyone did their votes, 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:44.400 we were everyone went around and said why they want 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:50.240 to win, and every single person said they would every yeah, 0:10:50.360 --> 0:10:52.560 every person said they would split the money. 0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:54.200 And that's just how it was. 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:56.200 And at this point I was kind of looking at 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:58.560 it and I was in this place where I thought, 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:01.920 you know, this could really be, this could actually change 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:05.240 my life. This is my opportunity to sit here and 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.200 talk to these people who I build a connection with 0:11:07.320 --> 0:11:09.720 and say, look this is how I'm feeling. And I 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:12.240 sat there, I said, this money could change my life. 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.719 There's no ifs or bites about that. And you know, 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.800 if we split the money it becomes what does it become? 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:22.040 Off holiday or whatever. 0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.280 Interesting question that I got asked a lot and that 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.240 is have you got the money? How quickly did you 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.199 get the money? Ah? 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:31.920 Like do I have the money? 0:11:32.320 --> 0:11:32.640 Yeah? 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:35.200 No, I don't have the money. 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:37.320 What happened with that money that was in the box. 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:41.720 The money in the box is not real money. I 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:44.280 thought it was real. I thought it was real, and 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.760 when I saw it, I mean, you know, I've never 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:51.400 seen slabs of money before, so it looks one thousand 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:54.160 percent real. I'm not sure to do it, you know, 0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:57.000 I'm sure if someone will hear that and go, well, 0:11:57.040 --> 0:12:01.040 it actually looks nothing real. But in my case, I 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:02.400 thought I thought it was real. 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:03.800 But no I didn't. 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:07.120 I didn't you know, leave Tasmania with one hundred and 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.000 eighty thousand in cash. 0:12:09.120 --> 0:12:10.800 That would be a bit red hot. 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:12.800 When are they going to give you the money? Like 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:14.640 I remember after Big Brother, I woke up the next 0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:16.320 day and the money was in my bank account. 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:21.640 The money's on its way, I'm sure. No, the money 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:23.920 is coming, The money is coming soon. 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:28.360 Amazing. Well, I think that's interesting, very interesting to hear 0:12:29.320 --> 0:12:31.720 because you know, you were so adamant about setting up 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:33.839 a business, you know, from the start, and that was 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.400 the story that you were sharing, you know, building business 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.360 with your name on it, which you know the viewers 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:41.600 really loved and brought into Is that exactly what you're 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:43.520 going to do and if you started putting those wills 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:44.120 in motion. 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:48.720 Yes, definitely. So I'm super excited. That is one thousand percent. 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:52.280 I mean, well, I can't speak for every chippy or 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.840 anything like that, but I know it is such a 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:57.560 big dream for so many people, but it's not really 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.960 an easy one. So right now, well, you know, I'm 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.000 actually I still have a few months to go on 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:07.400 my apprenticeship and I'm also studying my Builder's course at 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:11.360 the moment, which you need obviously to go ahead and 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:14.600 have a business. So that's what I'm working towards right now. 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:19.199 And yeah, that's definitely what I want to do. I'm 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.040 looking into all the ways I can do that and 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.720 make it possible for myself because obviously it's not really 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:28.400 something you wake up your bang I'm doing Like I'm 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:32.040 doing this. It's amazing to dream. I dream big, but 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:34.520 I'm also a realist and I know that there's things 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:36.319 that I need to put in place so that when 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.680 I'm ready, I'm ready to go. I don't need to 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:42.840 worry and everything like that. But you know, in the meantime, 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.160 there's lots of things I'm doing that I feel like 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:49.080 really aligned with where I want to go and the 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:52.559 kind of business I want to have and things I. 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:52.960 Want to do. 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:55.600 Well. You certainly sound like a sensible girl who knows 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.360 what she's doing. I need to ask how did a 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:00.720 person like you end up on a show line The Bridge. 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.600 I was actually just on my Facebook one day and 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:07.600 I was scrolling through and castings for the Bridge came 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:11.120 up and I saw it and I read about it, 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:13.439 and I was like, oh, my gosh, that looks really cool, 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.080 you know what I mean. You see something like that 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.120 and you think to yourself, You're like, oh, that looks awesome, 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:21.560 you know, but I don't know. 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:22.520 Maybe it's not for me. 0:14:22.640 --> 0:14:26.320 You kind of put yourself in that mindset you're like, oh, yeah, no, 0:14:26.520 --> 0:14:28.000 that's not going to be me. 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:31.280 And then literally the next day. 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:35.320 I got a call from someone and they were like, 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:38.160 have you heard of the Bridge? I really think you 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:41.920 should apply to go on. And that's when I started 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:45.320 really thinking about doing it. Yeah, obviously, there's a whole 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:49.560 process that you go through in order to be cast, 0:14:49.960 --> 0:14:54.040 and you talk to lots of different people. There's it's 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:57.560 honestly endless, like the health checks that you go everything, 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:01.720 they check literally everything, and and then it was just 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:06.200 like it was happening, so very surreal looking. 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:09.600 Back, very surreal. I mean, this show is a very 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:11.920 strange show. I have to say that. So you know, 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:14.840 you've made a decision that will, no doubt play on 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:18.120 your mind for the rest of your life. How comfortable 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:20.720 has the decision been to sit with with the. 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:22.760 Decision to keep the money. 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:25.560 It was very important to me that in my decision 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:29.240 I was really honest and even before there was any 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.400 voting done, I was so honest with everyone and I said, 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:35.680 this is where I see it. I want to take 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:40.320 the money. I explain why that was, and I to 0:15:40.360 --> 0:15:42.400 be honest. Pretty much at that point I gave up 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:45.160 the I didn't really think I would win. I was like, 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.200 you know, everyone here wants a share in the money, 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:53.480 But I thought I'd rather be honest and lose then 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:59.400 win and feel you know, uncomfortable and be a liar. 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:04.800 Like that just wouldn't work with how I felt. It 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:06.240 just wouldn't feel right to me. 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:08.960 Like do you wake up some days and go, oh, 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.520 I can't believe I didn't give it to Dino? Or 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:14.560 do you wake up you know, like not regretting. I'm 0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:15.920 going to get into that in a minute, but like, 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:19.360 how does it sit with you? Have you been comfortable 0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:22.640 with the actual decision or has there been any regrets? 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:26.080 So as I would say, you know, I was honest 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:28.600 about my decision. That was one thing that I was 0:16:28.720 --> 0:16:31.960 really proud of, and I went, yeah, okay, this is 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:36.240 the choice. So you know, Bushy got I shared with 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:40.200 Bushy because I mean, he's so deserving and he's so 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:44.200 he just you know, he needs the money. And every 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:49.080 single person there, every single person would have said yeah Bushie. 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:51.840 The reason, you know, there's been a lot of talk 0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:53.240 why didn't I share with Dean? 0:16:53.880 --> 0:16:55.120 You know, I obviously was. 0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.800 I had a good connection with Dean, and I can 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:03.080 understand why people feel that way. The reason I didn't 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:09.000 was purely because I didn't see how, you know, everyone there, 0:17:09.119 --> 0:17:12.800 in my eyes was also so deserving, So then I 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:15.720 didn't see how then I could go, Okay, well then 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:20.280 this person, I'll share with you, But then I'm not 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:23.360 going to share with these people or you know, as 0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:25.000 soon as you it's like, I. 0:17:24.960 --> 0:17:26.600 May as well split it with everyone there. 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:33.480 I mean, morally, obviously, the best feeling would be to go, yep, 0:17:33.760 --> 0:17:35.480 I'll share with every single person here. 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:36.560 I'll split it equally. 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:41.679 But it just, yeah, I'm sure it's brought up a 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:45.480 lot of like feelings in myself and a lot of 0:17:45.480 --> 0:17:49.320 people have had a lot of negative things to say 0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:54.160 about it and about myself, and it doesn't feel good, 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:58.000 of course it doesn't. But I made that decision. I 0:17:58.040 --> 0:18:00.359 stand by the choice I made. I stand by it 0:18:00.440 --> 0:18:05.560 in the honesty I had and the people that I shared. 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:06.360 The experience with. 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:10.040 I was yeah, I mean, I was honest, and I'm 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:11.960 sure a lot of people don't agree with what I did, 0:18:12.040 --> 0:18:14.040 but it's a choice I made, and I stand by 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:18.080 my choice, and I know within myself that everything I'm 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.760 going to do and the changes I'm going to make 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:23.840 in my own life are also going to have so 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:28.240 many different impacts in other people's lives, and you know, 0:18:28.400 --> 0:18:31.919 money isn't everything. And yeah, I'm sure a lot of 0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:37.120 people may think I'm greedy, but money also does create opportunities, 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:40.119 and it has given me an opportunity to create, to 0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:44.760 create so many different things from this, yeah, I think. 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:48.080 So, you know, were there conversations with producers or the 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:52.040 production company, psychologists or even a chance to you know, 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:55.200 contact your outside relationships before making this decision. 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:03.480 No, So it was literally like, so we're in the show, 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:05.920 I pretty much say to everyone, this is what I'm 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:09.399 gonna do with the money, and then I end up 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:13.399 being voted and then it's just like by that time, 0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:15.320 you know, I don't even know what time it would 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:17.960 have been, surely like two o'clock in the morning something 0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:21.800 like that. So then I pretty much went to bed 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:26.720 just thinking like, holy fuck, like what's going on? You know, 0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:30.480 what the heck? What's going on? And then the next 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:35.160 day woke up and I walked the bridge and yeah, 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:36.280 I it was. 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.240 And it was so it was so emotional. 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:40.360 You know, you see me in there and I am 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:44.600 crying and I'm so upset, and it's because I truly 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:47.960 was so upset because you know, sure I would have 0:19:48.280 --> 0:19:52.639 loved to have shared the money with everyone, but I chose, 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:56.000 and I made the decision to put myself first, and 0:19:56.680 --> 0:20:00.560 that's a hard choice to make to do that. So yeah, 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:04.399 it was pretty much just myself. I don't know, I 0:20:04.520 --> 0:20:07.359 just made the choice I had. Maddie and Elliott they 0:20:07.400 --> 0:20:12.280 were so so supportive of me. Everyone, I must say, 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:15.800 was really supportive of me and my choice and was 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:20.880 happy to have a conversation about it or anything like that. 0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:22.760 Aleiro was really good. 0:20:22.960 --> 0:20:27.800 She came to me and said, whatever you decide to do, 0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:30.000 you're so deserving and just know that. 0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:31.920 Yeah, it's a really weird thing. 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.760 I mean, you have all of these people around you, 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:38.919 but it's also kind of awkward to seek support for 0:20:39.000 --> 0:20:42.199 them in the choice you want to make because it 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:43.040 impacts them. 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:47.000 But that's it. That's just I suppose the way it is. 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:49.359 Did you think that if you gave the money to 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:51.760 Dean then you would have to go down the rabbit hole? Like? 0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:54.000 Do you think that's what I thought? I was like, oh, Bartie, 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:55.960 she can't give them. You know, if she gives the 0:20:56.000 --> 0:20:58.000