WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - The great innie vs outtie vagina debate 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:22.000 Hi, guys, and a welcome back to another episode of 0:00:22.079 --> 0:00:25.119 Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and this is 0:00:25.160 --> 0:00:28.480 our down, a dirty, sexy, little short and sharp episode 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:32.199 where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:35.120 It's really weird when we do this record and I 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.760 look at you sitting in my house where I'm usually sitting. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.560 It's like recording inception. Well, I'm glad that you find 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:42.440 it weird. Today you have terrible reception, just going to 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:43.960 put it out there and I can hear you fine, 0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:47.800 but I'm looking at poor connection error with Wi Fi. Okay, 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:50.120 so that's obviously my servar can't d anything about that 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:52.159 over here. Just so you guys know, we're trying to 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:55.920 run this entire podcast off European Wi Fi at the moment, 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.800 and it's all based hotel to hotel depending on brit Is. 0:00:58.840 --> 0:01:00.800 So it's dicey, but I'm making it happen. 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:03.480 So I'm currently well. Last week was Spain and the 0:01:03.480 --> 0:01:05.800 Wi Fi was so dodgy there. I was a bit disastrous. 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.399 I had to just use roaming data, so my bank's 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:11.440 gonna love that. Next month this time I'm in England 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:14.120 and the WiFi is brilliant for me. So but I 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:17.240 am coming to you from Wimbledon, and Wimbledon has actually started, 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:21.959 so that's very, very exciting. It started yesterday. Jordan's supposed 0:01:22.000 --> 0:01:24.640 to play today in like three hours, but he because 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:27.959 of the rain, he's been canceled till tomorrow. So that's 0:01:27.959 --> 0:01:31.120 about all that's happening online. I'm going to tennis every day. 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.440 It is the only time I'm allowed out of my hotel. 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.959 I've had six COVID tests this week alone, so I 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:40.480 went from not having had a COVID test before I left, 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:42.360 which I don't actually know how I got that far. 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:44.360 I don't know how I've worked through the whole pandemic 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:47.240 first hand with COVID and then didn't even have a test. 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.440 Now I'm getting six a week, so that's pretty bonkers. 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:53.240 Well, a lot has changed here since we last spoke. 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:56.240 So if you guys listen to Tuesday's episode we spoke 0:01:56.280 --> 0:01:59.240 at the start, we were like, oh, Sydney lockdown, so depressing, 0:01:59.680 --> 0:02:02.600 and now three quarters of Australia in lockdown. So welcome one, 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:03.400 welcome all. 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:05.040 We're here. We're in it together. 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.800 But if you listen to Tuesday's episode and you were thinking, 0:02:07.880 --> 0:02:10.400 why are the girls only speaking about Sydney. It's because 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.760 at the time when we record it, it literally was 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:15.440 only Sydney that was affected. So I'm so sorry that 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:18.040 it's now taken over. Australia really escalated quickly. 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:19.480 I go to bed here in the time zone and 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:21.320 I woke up and all of Australia was in a lockdown. 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:23.760 I was like, that's pretty much how we felt even 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:26.400 though we were here, so nothing was different. But guys, 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:29.240 you know what this episode is. This is our short 0:02:29.240 --> 0:02:31.640 sharp episode where we answer your questions. Thank you to 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.160 every single person who has written in a question for 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.920 today's episode. But before we get into that, I just 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.240 want to bring something up that has gone down in 0:02:40.320 --> 0:02:43.320 the Facebook discussion group. So if you guys aren a member, 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:45.880 jump on it's Life Uncut discussion group. 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:46.760 Now. 0:02:47.040 --> 0:02:49.720 I think we've all had an experience at some point 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:53.400 or another when it comes to catfishing. Now, I'm talking like, 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:55.880 maybe you've been online dating and you've seen a profile 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.440 and gone like, oh, that looks a bit dicey, or 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:01.200 maybe you've even found out that someone's taken your photos 0:03:01.280 --> 0:03:03.880 and use them to set up their own sort of 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:05.880 you know, online dating profile. I feel like a lot 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:07.960 of us would have experienced that at some time or another. 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:11.200 Now this happened in the Facebook group, and I think 0:03:11.240 --> 0:03:14.200 this is also a testament to just how big the 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:16.800 Facebook group has gotten. So one of our followers had 0:03:16.840 --> 0:03:19.800 posted something in the Facebook group and she was calling 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.480 out on behalf of her friend to try and get 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:24.600 to the bottom of a profile that her friend had 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:27.000 matched with. So here it is, guys, So my friend 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:29.920 thinks that maybe she's being catfish by this guy on Tinder. 0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:32.880 Does anyone happen to know this person in these pictures? 0:03:33.320 --> 0:03:35.360 A lot of things she tells me seems to be 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:38.400 super suss and screams out red flags. He says he 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:41.520 doesn't have social media except he has Snapchat, and when 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:43.920 he uploads a story it's always from his camera role. 0:03:43.960 --> 0:03:45.800 It's never just from what he's doing in the day. 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:48.760 Surely someone has to know him or the people in 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:51.680 the photos who are with him. So this post garnered 0:03:51.840 --> 0:03:55.160 so many comments and people were trying to get to 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:57.360 the bottom of it, people giving their two cents about 0:03:57.360 --> 0:03:59.040 how weird it is that he's saying he doesn't have 0:03:59.120 --> 0:04:02.040 Instagram but he's got Snapchat. Wait for it, So Not 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:03.800 only did we get to the bottom of who this 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.480 guy is, one of our other followers commented on that 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:11.600 post and said, guys, this is my boyfriend insert's name, 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:16.359 tags her boyfriend and says she's definitely getting catfished. I 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:19.240 am so proud that we have such a strong community 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:22.200 that this sort of FBI investigation can take place and 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:24.880 we can save We can save you and your girlfriends 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.839 from all the heartbreak we are we're providing. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:30.680 As actually anything can happen in a Lifeline cut discussion group. 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:34.200 That's incredible. But are we sure and I'm just saying this, 0:04:34.279 --> 0:04:36.240 I haven't read all the comments. Are we sure that 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:39.080 it is a catfish and the boyfriend wasn't outed for cheating? 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:41.720 No, we are one hundred percent sure that this is 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:44.000 a catfish. Not only did she tag her boyfriend, she 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:45.960 was in the picture with her boyfriend, it was a 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:49.960 completely different name. And this leads me into my next thing. So, guys, 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:52.280 this is just like the most amazing hot tip that 0:04:52.320 --> 0:04:54.840 I had never ever heard of. And everybody who has 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:58.360 read this I think had their minds blown. So somebody 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:01.279 else has gotten onto this post and written if you 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:04.240 have the person's phone number, So even if you're not 0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:06.120 sure if you're being catfished or not. If you have 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.279 gotten to the point where you guys are texting offline 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.680 and you actually have their phone number, what you can 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.000 do is that you can set up a draft OSCO 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:15.919 payment to their phone number on Netbank. So what this 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.279 will do is it'll give you the first letter of 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:20.880 their first name and the first letter of their surname, 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.599 which means that you can then figure out if the 0:05:23.680 --> 0:05:25.600 names match that you've been given and if the names 0:05:25.600 --> 0:05:28.760 don't match, well, we have ourselves a catfish ladies and gentlemen. 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:32.000 I am actually obsessed with catfishing, so I don't know 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:34.400 if you're with what we're doing it. There's a show. 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:36.760 There's a show called Catfish, and I love it so 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:39.480 much because, as this guy Neve, if you got everyone, 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:42.360 it's been around like twenty years, but ultimately this one 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:45.239 guy was burned. His name's Neveh's ultimately burned who was catfish? 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:47.560 So he started his own show. And now people that 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:49.359 think they've been catfish and can't get to the bottom 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:51.320 of it, they come to him and he investigates and 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.520 finds out I am obsessed with it. I would love 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:55.760 to do an episode on catfishing. Laura's not quite there yet, 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:58.159 but I think we can break her. But I've actually 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:01.159 been on both ends. I have been catfished, but I 0:06:01.200 --> 0:06:03.280 called them out pretty soon because I could tell. And 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:05.839 I have also been My profile's been used for catfishing. 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:08.599 So when I was online dating last year, there was 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:11.320 this one time that someone must have been going hardcore 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:14.360 being Britney, because I all of a sudden, all these 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:18.719 text messages. Everyone that I was matching was saying things like, ah, 0:06:18.760 --> 0:06:21.440 we meet again. Things are gonna get spicy this time, 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:22.920 like things like this, and I was like, well hey, 0:06:22.920 --> 0:06:25.080 I was like this, excuse excuse me? Are you taking 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.279 me out for spicy tie? I'm not sure what's happening 0:06:27.320 --> 0:06:29.360 here or all these people started to say, and then 0:06:29.360 --> 0:06:31.640 it started to get a bit nasty. People were like, oh, 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:33.120 you actually gonna meet me this time? Or are you 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:34.599 just gonna drag me along for a while? And I 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:36.120 was like, oh fuck. I was like, I have not 0:06:36.200 --> 0:06:39.400 matched with any of these people. Someone's using my profile 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:41.039 and I was like, look, I'm so sorry, I don't 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:42.680 know who you are. They're like, yeah, a likely story, 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:46.000 and I'm like no, I don't know who you are. Wait, 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:48.400 did anybody like give you any more information? Were they 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.840 using your profile and using your name or were they 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:52.920 just using your images? They must have been using your 0:06:53.080 --> 0:06:57.359 entire like person. Yeah, so both. So the reason it 0:06:57.520 --> 0:06:59.480 finally came out was I got a dm from a 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:03.080 girl in my phone with a screenshot of my profile. Right. 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:07.120 She was in a relationship and her boyfriend's friend had 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.240 come over and was like, I'm talking to Brittany. I'm 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:11.320 talking to Brittany blah blah blah blah blah. And she 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:13.280 was listening to the podcast, so she knew that, like 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:14.840 I was seeing someone else. And she was like, I 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:16.560 don't think that's Brittany and is like, yeah it is. 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:18.360 And she was like, asked to send you a photo, 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:20.200 And all the photos that was being sent to this 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:23.360 guy were photos that were obviously just taken from my 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:25.920 Instagram all the internet. They weren't, like ever photos of me. 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:27.880 And she's like, bro, you're not, I'll just dm R. 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:30.960 So she damned me. And she's like, are you talking 0:07:30.960 --> 0:07:32.560 to this guy because he thinks that you're gonna like 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:34.000 run off and get married. And I was like, oh 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:36.280 my god, can you please tell him that that's not me. 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:38.600 I don't know who he's talking to. So someone was 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:42.360 going hardcore with my name and my photos. Well, this 0:07:42.440 --> 0:07:45.360 is the power of the Facebook Life on Card group. 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:47.200 I am so proud of you guys. 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:50.000 Also, I mean, I shared this story back in season one, 0:07:50.040 --> 0:07:51.720 but I'm going to share it again briefly for anyone 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:54.080 who hasn't heard it. The only time that I've had 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:57.239 like a severe catfishing go on. I was in Sydney 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.520 and I had a friend of mine who was online dating. 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:02.640 He was in Yuar and he screenshot these pictures and 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.720 it was obviously me. They'd gone on to Facebook and 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:06.720 they'd taken and just kind of like streamed all my 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.440 pictures and put all my pictures onto an online dating 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:14.000 profile on Tinder. Now, the girl's name was Katinka. They 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:16.320 put an extra ten years on my age, so like 0:08:16.440 --> 0:08:19.960 you did me dirty Katinka. Wait, this was her profile handle. 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:26.600 Katinka enjoyed jazz, deep blues, some other house music, and anal. 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:31.600 He was a fucking good time, is what I'm going 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:34.800 to tell you. But I feel like we've covered enough catfishing. 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:36.920 At the intro of this episode, we're going to get 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:39.559 into your questions. We've picked out some real rippers for 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:42.080 you today. I quite enjoyed the vagina one, so stick 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:45.079 around for that one. And yeah, thanks to everybody who 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:47.560 was sent in a question for this episode. If you 0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:50.000 want to send one for next week's episode, all you 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:52.680 have to do is slide on into our DMS on Instagram. 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.600 All right, guys, let's get into the questions. I'm going 0:08:56.640 --> 0:09:01.120 to kick smart with question number one. Say's best friend's 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:05.000 Bucks party will be seven weeks after our baby is born. 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:07.520 I have told him that I don't think it's appropriate 0:09:07.600 --> 0:09:09.960 to go, as we would have just had a newborn baby, 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.600 and as we are based in Melbourne and the Bucks 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:14.760 is on the Gold Coast. I have said that I 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:16.959 am not comfortable with the timing, but at the end 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:19.600 of the day, it's up to him. He has said 0:09:19.720 --> 0:09:21.880 he doesn't want to disappoint his friends, and that my 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:26.080 sister can stay overnight and help in his absence. What 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:31.079 do you guys think? Is this okay? Is this not okay? Help? Oh? Okay? 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:33.720 I think this is such a tricky one because, on 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.000 one hand, I understand. 0:09:35.520 --> 0:09:37.319 Especially if it's your first child. 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:40.840 Why you feel and want your partner to be there. 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.400 On the other side, I can completely understand why he 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.160 wants to be at his best friend's Bucks party. Can 0:09:46.200 --> 0:09:49.040 you make a compromise? Can he go for one night? 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:52.840 He's obviously offering you solutions where somebody can come and 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:54.800 stay and help where you know you're not going to 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:57.400 be on your own, You're going to have that extra support. 0:09:57.600 --> 0:10:00.600 So if he met halfway in this said Okay, I'm 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:03.480 going to go for one night two days, is that 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.240 enough of a compromise. And if it's not, and the 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.199 fact is not so much that you need the help, 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:11.520 but the fact is that you just absolutely don't want 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.679 him to go on the Bucks party, if you kind 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:15.400 of like have to sit with yourself and unpack it 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:17.560 a little bit. If the real issue is that it's 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:19.520 a Bucks party, not the fact that he's going away 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:21.199 and leaving you for a night, or the fact that 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:23.600 you know you won't have the support. If the issue 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:27.920 is actually the Bucks party, then maybe there's more conversation 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:31.400 around trust that's loaded into this as well. I think 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:34.960 that this might be a bit of a twofold question. Yeah, look, 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.040 this is a tricky one, and I don't have a 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:39.080 newborn baby. I have never had a newborn baby, so 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:39.600 you know. 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.600 I can't put myself in the position firsthand, But if 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:46.240 this is your first child, I do wonder if maybe 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:49.320 you have like higher levels of anxiety because you don't 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:50.760 know what it's going to be like, you don't know 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:52.200 if you're gonna be able to cope for a night. 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:54.840 And they are normal, one hundred percent normal feelings, like 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:57.280 I imagine the anxiety would be through the roof because 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:00.199 it's a whole new experience. I think, what Laura, that 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:02.840 is true as well? Though. Is it just that it 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:04.920 is a Bucks party? Because there are a lot of people, 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:06.880 A lot of women are uncomfortable with their partners going 0:11:06.880 --> 0:11:10.080 on Bucks parties for a multitude of reasons. I think 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:12.240 with this one, I think if it was me, I 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.440 think I'd come to some compromise. I do think that 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:16.720 I would let him go. It is seven weeks after 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:19.160 and it is his best friend, and he has offered 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:21.520 you a solution with your sister, I think that I 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.560 would ask for compromise. I think I would say, can 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:25.320 you just go for one night? Could you fly up 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:28.080 on the Saturday, have the Bucks party Saturday night, and 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.560 then come back on the Sunday. So it's hopefully not 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:33.800 that much longer than twenty four hours that you would 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:34.440 be on your own. 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.640 And also, I guess the big thing with this is, like, 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:38.440 you never want to be in a situation with your 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:40.840 partner where you're telling them what they can and can't do. 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:43.240 Like you never want to say to your partner, you're 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:45.600 not going on a Bucks party, You're not doing this. 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:49.120 You want to explain to your partner why something upsets you, 0:11:49.559 --> 0:11:52.200 why you would hope that maybe they would try to 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:54.920 see things from your perspective. But at the same time, like, 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:57.400 the most important part of this is compromise and if 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.400 you trust him and there is no issue with him 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.720 going on a Bucks party from that perspective, as in, 0:12:02.840 --> 0:12:04.719 like you're not worried about the idea of their being 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:07.040 strippers or all the other shit that can get loaded 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:09.320 into a bus party, which I think that for a 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:13.160 lot of people, it is a very sort of tricky 0:12:13.240 --> 0:12:14.640 conversation to have. I think there are a lot of 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.000 women out there who feel uncomfortable by their partners going 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:19.480 on Bucks parties, and I to be honest, don't blame them. 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:21.240 It kind of a situation or depends on the group 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:23.680 of friends. It depends on the guy. It depends on 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.480 what your history is like with them. They can be 0:12:26.640 --> 0:12:30.280 tricky situations. However, if you were in a healthy, really 0:12:30.280 --> 0:12:33.680 trusting relationship and your partner is trustworthy, then they shouldn't 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.200 be something that you're scared of your partner going on. 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.240 From my perspective of having a baby. 0:12:39.120 --> 0:12:40.200 It's fucking hard. 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.480 The six weeks seven week mark is hard. The sleep 0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:45.679 debt has caught up to you. You still have all 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:49.280 the hormones going crazy. For me personally, Matt had Dancing 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:52.439 with the Stars when we had Lola, and he wasn't 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.400 home a lot, like there was a lot of time 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.440 that he was out, and I would say that the 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.319 five weeks six week mark was when things really came 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:03.680 crashing down for me. And I guess in my perspective 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.679 towards having kids was kind of like, you know what, 0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.959 clear the schedule because we just don't know what it's 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:09.600 going to be like. So I don't want you to 0:13:09.640 --> 0:13:12.360 have things in your plan or in your itinery that 0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:15.520 can't be shifted. I think a one night compromise and 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.560 having some extra support and help at your house is 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:21.160 really the answer, and maybe him coming to the table 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:23.720 with trying to bring a solution and not just leave 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.200 you feeling abandoned or leaving you feeling like you're not 0:13:26.200 --> 0:13:27.760 going to be able to cope in that situation. 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:29.959 I think the other thing too, just to add one 0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:32.120 last thing. Everything that you said, Laura, I agree with, 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:35.360 But I think the last thing is you one hundred 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.520 percent don't know what the situation is going to be. 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:39.320 You don't know how your life is going to be. 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:40.880 You don't know how the baby will be. You don't 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.679 know if you're going to have a level of depression 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.360 after the child, which is we all know is very common. 0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:47.960 So I think what you need to do is have 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:51.400 the conversation with your partner and both be really supportive 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.160 of each other. I think you need to say, look, 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:54.960 it's not that I don't want you to go because 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:57.240 I don't want you to have fun. The reason is 0:13:57.280 --> 0:13:59.560 I just feel a bit anxious and concerned about being 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:01.760 on my own and about the unknown and not knowing 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.839 how about you. You know, you go for the one night, 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:07.720 We make a compromise. You go for the one night, 0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:10.320 but if when the time comes, if I'm not in 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:11.679 a good place, So if I'm not in a good 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:14.440 headplace and the baby's not cooperating and life is a 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:17.160 ship fight, you might need to look at not going 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.120 and pulling out last minute. So I think just have 0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:21.960 that adult conversation on the table and look at all options, 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.200 knowing that if push comes to shove, he will be 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:26.840 there and he will be happy to cancel. So I 0:14:26.880 --> 0:14:29.000 think that's the conversation you need to have. Because also 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.920 in any relationship, and I know this from experience, the 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:36.120 second you start to put the demands on your partner 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:37.800 in any way and I mean him on you, you 0:14:37.880 --> 0:14:40.440 and her starting to say yes, you can do this, 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:42.320 No you can't, I don't want to do this, there's 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:46.040 going to eventually be a level of resentment that builds up, 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.320 feeling like they're being controlled or you're being controlled. And 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.280 again I'm not just saying that he's going to feel 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:53.360 this because you're saying this. I'm just saying in all 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:56.040 aspects of a relationship, I think it's really important in 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:57.800 the way you have the conversation. 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:00.400 Okay, coming to you with question number two, and I 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.920 really like this question. So this is one that I 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:05.160 am bringing to the table because God knows things down 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:07.200 there and not what they used to be after two kids. 0:15:07.600 --> 0:15:11.160 I am thinking of getting cosmetic surgery on my vagina, 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:12.960 not me but the person who wrote this in but 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.800 maybe I think about it too. Basically, should I get 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:18.680 cosmetic surgery? How do I know what is normal? I 0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:20.440 was with my girlfriend the other day and she was 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:23.560 talking about innies and oudias, and then she made a 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.280 comment that kind of was along the lines of like, oh, 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.680 I can't believe that some people have full oudies. And 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:33.119 I was just there like, ah, yeah, feeling pretty insecure 0:15:33.240 --> 0:15:36.360 because I guess that's me. What do you think about 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:40.400 surgery for your vagina? And should I get it? I'm 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.720 going to kickstart what I think about this, because when 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.680 do you ever see vaginas like other people's vaginas we 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:50.400 don't like, we don't have There's not this grand access 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:54.360 to looking at what everyone's vagina looks like. Our perception 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:57.240 of what a vagina should look like is often based 0:15:57.280 --> 0:15:59.640 on porn or on things that we have been able 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:02.200 to act. And I am going to say that, yes, 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:06.800 people who are in pornos have perfectly beautiful, tight, little 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:10.760 tiny vaginas. Is that normal yeah for some people? 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.360 Sure? Is it the norm for majority of people? No? 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.800 And I think that, like, we should be a little 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:18.800 bit more okay with the full spectrum of what a 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:22.400 vagina looks like. And if you're not sure, go and 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:25.000 have a look at the moment exhibition of like forty 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:26.200 vaginas that are being cast. 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:29.000 It's the wall of vaginas. Honestly, it'll give you a 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:29.960 much better. 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:32.280 Idea of what is normal, and that is that it 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:35.160 is vast and very different for every single person. 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:40.240 I look, I agree. But the procedures called labia plasty, 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:42.160 and it depends on what your laby look like. But 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:45.240 it's a trimming of the LaBier makes it look neater, 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:49.920 and I say, Nita inadverted commas. There are so many 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:53.920 different vaginas, and men don't look at a vagina and 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:56.160 be like, oh that will left laby is a little 0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:58.000 bit too long. I better not have sex with her. 0:16:58.160 --> 0:16:59.960 They do not think that. They're like, holy shit, I 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.440 get to have sex. The reason I'm gonna say that 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:04.040 I think this is okay for you to do if 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:06.359 you want to, is because there are a lot of 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:10.480 women that are really self conscious about it. A. But 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:13.879 B it can physically cause a problem. It can be 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:16.760 really rubbing on different outfits, like if it is actually 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:20.040 a particularly long one, you can get really bad rashes 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.520 and irritation because it's rubbing against your undies. There's rubbing 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:25.320 againstr jeans. I've read a lot of women because when 0:17:25.320 --> 0:17:27.280 this question came through, I had a look online, and 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:31.040 it's actually not an uncommon procedure. I think you really 0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:32.800 need to think about the reason you want to get 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.760 this done. And if it's just because you heard your 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:39.359 friends say that there's a innies and yours is an audi, 0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:42.000 I would one hundred percent be like, babe, please do 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:44.240 not worry, because there are so many people out there 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:46.280 without the vaginas, Like there's no such thing as what 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:48.560 is a normal vagina, Like it doesn't exist. There are 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:51.800 so many different shapes and sizes of a vagina. They 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:55.000 all look one hundred percent different do the same thing. 0:17:55.480 --> 0:17:57.360 Like you said, there are people that have like one 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:00.280 side longer than the other. There's different colors, like they 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:04.359