Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and a welcome back to another episode of
Speaker 1: Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany, and this is
Speaker 1: our down, a dirty, sexy, little short and sharp episode
Speaker 1: where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions.
Speaker 2: It's really weird when we do this record and I
Speaker 2: look at you sitting in my house where I'm usually sitting.
Speaker 1: It's like recording inception. Well, I'm glad that you find
Speaker 1: it weird. Today you have terrible reception, just going to
Speaker 1: put it out there and I can hear you fine,
Speaker 1: but I'm looking at poor connection error with Wi Fi. Okay,
Speaker 1: so that's obviously my servar can't d anything about that
Speaker 1: over here. Just so you guys know, we're trying to
Speaker 1: run this entire podcast off European Wi Fi at the moment,
Speaker 1: and it's all based hotel to hotel depending on brit Is.
Speaker 1: So it's dicey, but I'm making it happen.
Speaker 2: So I'm currently well. Last week was Spain and the
Speaker 2: Wi Fi was so dodgy there. I was a bit disastrous.
Speaker 2: I had to just use roaming data, so my bank's
Speaker 2: gonna love that. Next month this time I'm in England
Speaker 2: and the WiFi is brilliant for me. So but I
Speaker 2: am coming to you from Wimbledon, and Wimbledon has actually started,
Speaker 2: so that's very, very exciting. It started yesterday. Jordan's supposed
Speaker 2: to play today in like three hours, but he because
Speaker 2: of the rain, he's been canceled till tomorrow. So that's
Speaker 2: about all that's happening online. I'm going to tennis every day.
Speaker 2: It is the only time I'm allowed out of my hotel.
Speaker 2: I've had six COVID tests this week alone, so I
Speaker 2: went from not having had a COVID test before I left,
Speaker 2: which I don't actually know how I got that far.
Speaker 2: I don't know how I've worked through the whole pandemic
Speaker 2: first hand with COVID and then didn't even have a test.
Speaker 2: Now I'm getting six a week, so that's pretty bonkers.
Speaker 1: Well, a lot has changed here since we last spoke.
Speaker 1: So if you guys listen to Tuesday's episode we spoke
Speaker 1: at the start, we were like, oh, Sydney lockdown, so depressing,
Speaker 1: and now three quarters of Australia in lockdown. So welcome one,
Speaker 1: welcome all.
Speaker 2: We're here. We're in it together.
Speaker 1: But if you listen to Tuesday's episode and you were thinking,
Speaker 1: why are the girls only speaking about Sydney. It's because
Speaker 1: at the time when we record it, it literally was
Speaker 1: only Sydney that was affected. So I'm so sorry that
Speaker 1: it's now taken over. Australia really escalated quickly.
Speaker 2: I go to bed here in the time zone and
Speaker 2: I woke up and all of Australia was in a lockdown.
Speaker 1: I was like, that's pretty much how we felt even
Speaker 1: though we were here, so nothing was different. But guys,
Speaker 1: you know what this episode is. This is our short
Speaker 1: sharp episode where we answer your questions. Thank you to
Speaker 1: every single person who has written in a question for
Speaker 1: today's episode. But before we get into that, I just
Speaker 1: want to bring something up that has gone down in
Speaker 1: the Facebook discussion group. So if you guys aren a member,
Speaker 1: jump on it's Life Uncut discussion group.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I think we've all had an experience at some point
Speaker 1: or another when it comes to catfishing. Now, I'm talking like,
Speaker 1: maybe you've been online dating and you've seen a profile
Speaker 1: and gone like, oh, that looks a bit dicey, or
Speaker 1: maybe you've even found out that someone's taken your photos
Speaker 1: and use them to set up their own sort of
Speaker 1: you know, online dating profile. I feel like a lot
Speaker 1: of us would have experienced that at some time or another.
Speaker 1: Now this happened in the Facebook group, and I think
Speaker 1: this is also a testament to just how big the
Speaker 1: Facebook group has gotten. So one of our followers had
Speaker 1: posted something in the Facebook group and she was calling
Speaker 1: out on behalf of her friend to try and get
Speaker 1: to the bottom of a profile that her friend had
Speaker 1: matched with. So here it is, guys, So my friend
Speaker 1: thinks that maybe she's being catfish by this guy on Tinder.
Speaker 1: Does anyone happen to know this person in these pictures?
Speaker 1: A lot of things she tells me seems to be
Speaker 1: super suss and screams out red flags. He says he
Speaker 1: doesn't have social media except he has Snapchat, and when
Speaker 1: he uploads a story it's always from his camera role.
Speaker 1: It's never just from what he's doing in the day.
Speaker 1: Surely someone has to know him or the people in
Speaker 1: the photos who are with him. So this post garnered
Speaker 1: so many comments and people were trying to get to
Speaker 1: the bottom of it, people giving their two cents about
Speaker 1: how weird it is that he's saying he doesn't have
Speaker 1: Instagram but he's got Snapchat. Wait for it, So Not
Speaker 1: only did we get to the bottom of who this
Speaker 1: guy is, one of our other followers commented on that
Speaker 1: post and said, guys, this is my boyfriend insert's name,
Speaker 1: tags her boyfriend and says she's definitely getting catfished. I
Speaker 1: am so proud that we have such a strong community
Speaker 1: that this sort of FBI investigation can take place and
Speaker 1: we can save We can save you and your girlfriends
Speaker 1: from all the heartbreak we are we're providing.
Speaker 2: As actually anything can happen in a Lifeline cut discussion group.
Speaker 2: That's incredible. But are we sure and I'm just saying this,
Speaker 2: I haven't read all the comments. Are we sure that
Speaker 2: it is a catfish and the boyfriend wasn't outed for cheating?
Speaker 1: No, we are one hundred percent sure that this is
Speaker 1: a catfish. Not only did she tag her boyfriend, she
Speaker 1: was in the picture with her boyfriend, it was a
Speaker 1: completely different name. And this leads me into my next thing. So, guys,
Speaker 1: this is just like the most amazing hot tip that
Speaker 1: I had never ever heard of. And everybody who has
Speaker 1: read this I think had their minds blown. So somebody
Speaker 1: else has gotten onto this post and written if you
Speaker 1: have the person's phone number, So even if you're not
Speaker 1: sure if you're being catfished or not. If you have
Speaker 1: gotten to the point where you guys are texting offline
Speaker 1: and you actually have their phone number, what you can
Speaker 1: do is that you can set up a draft OSCO
Speaker 1: payment to their phone number on Netbank. So what this
Speaker 1: will do is it'll give you the first letter of
Speaker 1: their first name and the first letter of their surname,
Speaker 1: which means that you can then figure out if the
Speaker 1: names match that you've been given and if the names
Speaker 1: don't match, well, we have ourselves a catfish ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 2: I am actually obsessed with catfishing, so I don't know
Speaker 2: if you're with what we're doing it. There's a show.
Speaker 2: There's a show called Catfish, and I love it so
Speaker 2: much because, as this guy Neve, if you got everyone,
Speaker 2: it's been around like twenty years, but ultimately this one
Speaker 2: guy was burned. His name's Neveh's ultimately burned who was catfish?
Speaker 2: So he started his own show. And now people that
Speaker 2: think they've been catfish and can't get to the bottom
Speaker 2: of it, they come to him and he investigates and
Speaker 2: finds out I am obsessed with it. I would love
Speaker 2: to do an episode on catfishing. Laura's not quite there yet,
Speaker 2: but I think we can break her. But I've actually
Speaker 2: been on both ends. I have been catfished, but I
Speaker 2: called them out pretty soon because I could tell. And
Speaker 2: I have also been My profile's been used for catfishing.
Speaker 2: So when I was online dating last year, there was
Speaker 2: this one time that someone must have been going hardcore
Speaker 2: being Britney, because I all of a sudden, all these
Speaker 2: text messages. Everyone that I was matching was saying things like, ah,
Speaker 2: we meet again. Things are gonna get spicy this time,
Speaker 2: like things like this, and I was like, well hey,
Speaker 2: I was like this, excuse excuse me? Are you taking
Speaker 2: me out for spicy tie? I'm not sure what's happening
Speaker 2: here or all these people started to say, and then
Speaker 2: it started to get a bit nasty. People were like, oh,
Speaker 2: you actually gonna meet me this time? Or are you
Speaker 2: just gonna drag me along for a while? And I
Speaker 2: was like, oh fuck. I was like, I have not
Speaker 2: matched with any of these people. Someone's using my profile
Speaker 2: and I was like, look, I'm so sorry, I don't
Speaker 2: know who you are. They're like, yeah, a likely story,
Speaker 2: and I'm like no, I don't know who you are. Wait,
Speaker 2: did anybody like give you any more information? Were they
Speaker 2: using your profile and using your name or were they
Speaker 2: just using your images? They must have been using your
Speaker 2: entire like person. Yeah, so both. So the reason it
Speaker 2: finally came out was I got a dm from a
Speaker 2: girl in my phone with a screenshot of my profile. Right.
Speaker 2: She was in a relationship and her boyfriend's friend had
Speaker 2: come over and was like, I'm talking to Brittany. I'm
Speaker 2: talking to Brittany blah blah blah blah blah. And she
Speaker 2: was listening to the podcast, so she knew that, like
Speaker 2: I was seeing someone else. And she was like, I
Speaker 2: don't think that's Brittany and is like, yeah it is.
Speaker 2: And she was like, asked to send you a photo,
Speaker 2: And all the photos that was being sent to this
Speaker 2: guy were photos that were obviously just taken from my
Speaker 2: Instagram all the internet. They weren't, like ever photos of me.
Speaker 2: And she's like, bro, you're not, I'll just dm R.
Speaker 2: So she damned me. And she's like, are you talking
Speaker 2: to this guy because he thinks that you're gonna like
Speaker 2: run off and get married. And I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, can you please tell him that that's not me.
Speaker 2: I don't know who he's talking to. So someone was
Speaker 2: going hardcore with my name and my photos. Well, this
Speaker 2: is the power of the Facebook Life on Card group.
Speaker 2: I am so proud of you guys.
Speaker 1: Also, I mean, I shared this story back in season one,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to share it again briefly for anyone
Speaker 1: who hasn't heard it. The only time that I've had
Speaker 1: like a severe catfishing go on. I was in Sydney
Speaker 1: and I had a friend of mine who was online dating.
Speaker 1: He was in Yuar and he screenshot these pictures and
Speaker 1: it was obviously me. They'd gone on to Facebook and
Speaker 1: they'd taken and just kind of like streamed all my
Speaker 1: pictures and put all my pictures onto an online dating
Speaker 1: profile on Tinder. Now, the girl's name was Katinka. They
Speaker 1: put an extra ten years on my age, so like
Speaker 1: you did me dirty Katinka. Wait, this was her profile handle.
Speaker 1: Katinka enjoyed jazz, deep blues, some other house music, and anal.
Speaker 1: He was a fucking good time, is what I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell you. But I feel like we've covered enough catfishing.
Speaker 1: At the intro of this episode, we're going to get
Speaker 1: into your questions. We've picked out some real rippers for
Speaker 1: you today. I quite enjoyed the vagina one, so stick
Speaker 1: around for that one. And yeah, thanks to everybody who
Speaker 1: was sent in a question for this episode. If you
Speaker 1: want to send one for next week's episode, all you
Speaker 1: have to do is slide on into our DMS on Instagram.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, let's get into the questions. I'm going
Speaker 2: to kick smart with question number one. Say's best friend's
Speaker 2: Bucks party will be seven weeks after our baby is born.
Speaker 2: I have told him that I don't think it's appropriate
Speaker 2: to go, as we would have just had a newborn baby,
Speaker 2: and as we are based in Melbourne and the Bucks
Speaker 2: is on the Gold Coast. I have said that I
Speaker 2: am not comfortable with the timing, but at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, it's up to him. He has said
Speaker 2: he doesn't want to disappoint his friends, and that my
Speaker 2: sister can stay overnight and help in his absence. What
Speaker 2: do you guys think? Is this okay? Is this not okay? Help? Oh? Okay?
Speaker 1: I think this is such a tricky one because, on
Speaker 1: one hand, I understand.
Speaker 2: Especially if it's your first child.
Speaker 1: Why you feel and want your partner to be there.
Speaker 1: On the other side, I can completely understand why he
Speaker 1: wants to be at his best friend's Bucks party. Can
Speaker 1: you make a compromise? Can he go for one night?
Speaker 1: He's obviously offering you solutions where somebody can come and
Speaker 1: stay and help where you know you're not going to
Speaker 1: be on your own, You're going to have that extra support.
Speaker 1: So if he met halfway in this said Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: going to go for one night two days, is that
Speaker 1: enough of a compromise. And if it's not, and the
Speaker 1: fact is not so much that you need the help,
Speaker 1: but the fact is that you just absolutely don't want
Speaker 1: him to go on the Bucks party, if you kind
Speaker 1: of like have to sit with yourself and unpack it
Speaker 1: a little bit. If the real issue is that it's
Speaker 1: a Bucks party, not the fact that he's going away
Speaker 1: and leaving you for a night, or the fact that
Speaker 1: you know you won't have the support. If the issue
Speaker 1: is actually the Bucks party, then maybe there's more conversation
Speaker 1: around trust that's loaded into this as well. I think
Speaker 1: that this might be a bit of a twofold question. Yeah, look,
Speaker 1: this is a tricky one, and I don't have a
Speaker 1: newborn baby. I have never had a newborn baby, so
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: I can't put myself in the position firsthand, But if
Speaker 2: this is your first child, I do wonder if maybe
Speaker 2: you have like higher levels of anxiety because you don't
Speaker 2: know what it's going to be like, you don't know
Speaker 2: if you're gonna be able to cope for a night.
Speaker 2: And they are normal, one hundred percent normal feelings, like
Speaker 2: I imagine the anxiety would be through the roof because
Speaker 2: it's a whole new experience. I think, what Laura, that
Speaker 2: is true as well? Though. Is it just that it
Speaker 2: is a Bucks party? Because there are a lot of people,
Speaker 2: A lot of women are uncomfortable with their partners going
Speaker 2: on Bucks parties for a multitude of reasons. I think
Speaker 2: with this one, I think if it was me, I
Speaker 2: think I'd come to some compromise. I do think that
Speaker 2: I would let him go. It is seven weeks after
Speaker 2: and it is his best friend, and he has offered
Speaker 2: you a solution with your sister, I think that I
Speaker 2: would ask for compromise. I think I would say, can
Speaker 2: you just go for one night? Could you fly up
Speaker 2: on the Saturday, have the Bucks party Saturday night, and
Speaker 2: then come back on the Sunday. So it's hopefully not
Speaker 2: that much longer than twenty four hours that you would
Speaker 2: be on your own.
Speaker 1: And also, I guess the big thing with this is, like,
Speaker 1: you never want to be in a situation with your
Speaker 1: partner where you're telling them what they can and can't do.
Speaker 1: Like you never want to say to your partner, you're
Speaker 1: not going on a Bucks party, You're not doing this.
Speaker 1: You want to explain to your partner why something upsets you,
Speaker 1: why you would hope that maybe they would try to
Speaker 1: see things from your perspective. But at the same time, like,
Speaker 1: the most important part of this is compromise and if
Speaker 1: you trust him and there is no issue with him
Speaker 1: going on a Bucks party from that perspective, as in,
Speaker 1: like you're not worried about the idea of their being
Speaker 1: strippers or all the other shit that can get loaded
Speaker 1: into a bus party, which I think that for a
Speaker 1: lot of people, it is a very sort of tricky
Speaker 1: conversation to have. I think there are a lot of
Speaker 1: women out there who feel uncomfortable by their partners going
Speaker 1: on Bucks parties, and I to be honest, don't blame them.
Speaker 1: It kind of a situation or depends on the group
Speaker 1: of friends. It depends on the guy. It depends on
Speaker 1: what your history is like with them. They can be
Speaker 1: tricky situations. However, if you were in a healthy, really
Speaker 1: trusting relationship and your partner is trustworthy, then they shouldn't
Speaker 1: be something that you're scared of your partner going on.
Speaker 1: From my perspective of having a baby.
Speaker 2: It's fucking hard.
Speaker 1: The six weeks seven week mark is hard. The sleep
Speaker 1: debt has caught up to you. You still have all
Speaker 1: the hormones going crazy. For me personally, Matt had Dancing
Speaker 1: with the Stars when we had Lola, and he wasn't
Speaker 1: home a lot, like there was a lot of time
Speaker 1: that he was out, and I would say that the
Speaker 1: five weeks six week mark was when things really came
Speaker 1: crashing down for me. And I guess in my perspective
Speaker 1: towards having kids was kind of like, you know what,
Speaker 1: clear the schedule because we just don't know what it's
Speaker 1: going to be like. So I don't want you to
Speaker 1: have things in your plan or in your itinery that
Speaker 1: can't be shifted. I think a one night compromise and
Speaker 1: having some extra support and help at your house is
Speaker 1: really the answer, and maybe him coming to the table
Speaker 1: with trying to bring a solution and not just leave
Speaker 1: you feeling abandoned or leaving you feeling like you're not
Speaker 1: going to be able to cope in that situation.
Speaker 2: I think the other thing too, just to add one
Speaker 2: last thing. Everything that you said, Laura, I agree with,
Speaker 2: But I think the last thing is you one hundred
Speaker 2: percent don't know what the situation is going to be.
Speaker 2: You don't know how your life is going to be.
Speaker 2: You don't know how the baby will be. You don't
Speaker 2: know if you're going to have a level of depression
Speaker 2: after the child, which is we all know is very common.
Speaker 2: So I think what you need to do is have
Speaker 2: the conversation with your partner and both be really supportive
Speaker 2: of each other. I think you need to say, look,
Speaker 2: it's not that I don't want you to go because
Speaker 2: I don't want you to have fun. The reason is
Speaker 2: I just feel a bit anxious and concerned about being
Speaker 2: on my own and about the unknown and not knowing
Speaker 2: how about you. You know, you go for the one night,
Speaker 2: We make a compromise. You go for the one night,
Speaker 2: but if when the time comes, if I'm not in
Speaker 2: a good place, So if I'm not in a good
Speaker 2: headplace and the baby's not cooperating and life is a
Speaker 2: ship fight, you might need to look at not going
Speaker 2: and pulling out last minute. So I think just have
Speaker 2: that adult conversation on the table and look at all options,
Speaker 2: knowing that if push comes to shove, he will be
Speaker 2: there and he will be happy to cancel. So I
Speaker 2: think that's the conversation you need to have. Because also
Speaker 2: in any relationship, and I know this from experience, the
Speaker 2: second you start to put the demands on your partner
Speaker 2: in any way and I mean him on you, you
Speaker 2: and her starting to say yes, you can do this,
Speaker 2: No you can't, I don't want to do this, there's
Speaker 2: going to eventually be a level of resentment that builds up,
Speaker 2: feeling like they're being controlled or you're being controlled. And
Speaker 2: again I'm not just saying that he's going to feel
Speaker 2: this because you're saying this. I'm just saying in all
Speaker 2: aspects of a relationship, I think it's really important in
Speaker 2: the way you have the conversation.
Speaker 1: Okay, coming to you with question number two, and I
Speaker 1: really like this question. So this is one that I
Speaker 1: am bringing to the table because God knows things down
Speaker 1: there and not what they used to be after two kids.
Speaker 1: I am thinking of getting cosmetic surgery on my vagina,
Speaker 1: not me but the person who wrote this in but
Speaker 1: maybe I think about it too. Basically, should I get
Speaker 1: cosmetic surgery? How do I know what is normal? I
Speaker 1: was with my girlfriend the other day and she was
Speaker 1: talking about innies and oudias, and then she made a
Speaker 1: comment that kind of was along the lines of like, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't believe that some people have full oudies. And
Speaker 1: I was just there like, ah, yeah, feeling pretty insecure
Speaker 1: because I guess that's me. What do you think about
Speaker 1: surgery for your vagina? And should I get it? I'm
Speaker 1: going to kickstart what I think about this, because when
Speaker 1: do you ever see vaginas like other people's vaginas we
Speaker 1: don't like, we don't have There's not this grand access
Speaker 1: to looking at what everyone's vagina looks like. Our perception
Speaker 1: of what a vagina should look like is often based
Speaker 1: on porn or on things that we have been able
Speaker 1: to act. And I am going to say that, yes,
Speaker 1: people who are in pornos have perfectly beautiful, tight, little
Speaker 1: tiny vaginas. Is that normal yeah for some people?
Speaker 2: Sure? Is it the norm for majority of people? No?
Speaker 1: And I think that, like, we should be a little
Speaker 1: bit more okay with the full spectrum of what a
Speaker 1: vagina looks like. And if you're not sure, go and
Speaker 1: have a look at the moment exhibition of like forty
Speaker 1: vaginas that are being cast.
Speaker 2: It's the wall of vaginas. Honestly, it'll give you a
Speaker 2: much better.
Speaker 1: Idea of what is normal, and that is that it
Speaker 1: is vast and very different for every single person.
Speaker 2: I look, I agree. But the procedures called labia plasty,
Speaker 2: and it depends on what your laby look like. But
Speaker 2: it's a trimming of the LaBier makes it look neater,
Speaker 2: and I say, Nita inadverted commas. There are so many
Speaker 2: different vaginas, and men don't look at a vagina and
Speaker 2: be like, oh that will left laby is a little
Speaker 2: bit too long. I better not have sex with her.
Speaker 2: They do not think that. They're like, holy shit, I
Speaker 2: get to have sex. The reason I'm gonna say that
Speaker 2: I think this is okay for you to do if
Speaker 2: you want to, is because there are a lot of
Speaker 2: women that are really self conscious about it. A. But
Speaker 2: B it can physically cause a problem. It can be
Speaker 2: really rubbing on different outfits, like if it is actually
Speaker 2: a particularly long one, you can get really bad rashes
Speaker 2: and irritation because it's rubbing against your undies. There's rubbing
Speaker 2: againstr jeans. I've read a lot of women because when
Speaker 2: this question came through, I had a look online, and
Speaker 2: it's actually not an uncommon procedure. I think you really
Speaker 2: need to think about the reason you want to get
Speaker 2: this done. And if it's just because you heard your
Speaker 2: friends say that there's a innies and yours is an audi,
Speaker 2: I would one hundred percent be like, babe, please do
Speaker 2: not worry, because there are so many people out there
Speaker 2: without the vaginas, Like there's no such thing as what
Speaker 2: is a normal vagina, Like it doesn't exist. There are
Speaker 2: so many different shapes and sizes of a vagina. They
Speaker 2: all look one hundred percent different do the same thing.
Speaker 1: Like you said, there are people that have like one
Speaker 1: side longer than the other. There's different colors, like they
Speaker 1: are so fucking different. And I think, Okay, yes, sure,
Speaker 1: if it's causing some sort of like if it's uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: if there's a real reason behind it, if you are
Speaker 1: extremely self conscious about it because you feel like you
Speaker 1: lay so far out of what is a comfortable middle ground. Fine,
Speaker 1: consider it, but look, I mean, I just think that
Speaker 1: there's a lot of pressure this day and age to
Speaker 1: be perfect and to be perfect, from having perfect hair
Speaker 1: to having a fucking pedicure to having like perfectly shaven
Speaker 1: legs and a perfectly shaven vagina. And I just think
Speaker 1: that there's so much pressure for every single thing to
Speaker 1: be perfect. Who fucking cares what your vagina looks like.
Speaker 1: Trust me, after a couple of years and a few babies,
Speaker 1: gravity's gonna take hold of it anyway. If you're an
Speaker 1: eady now, you're probably not gonna be an eaty when you're.
Speaker 2: Eighty years old.
Speaker 1: So like, I just think, be a little bit kinder
Speaker 1: to yourself as well, and maybe sit on the thought
Speaker 1: for a while. Go and Google, have a look at
Speaker 1: different vaginas. And I don't mean google and look at porn.
Speaker 1: I mean, like, look at what a normal, very run
Speaker 1: of the mill, average yours or mine or anybody else's
Speaker 1: vagina looks like. And I just think that maybe be
Speaker 1: a little bit careful about what you're holding up is
Speaker 1: like the gold standard of what a vagina should look like.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent agree with what Lauren said. But I'm
Speaker 2: also very pro people changing things that are going to
Speaker 2: make them more comfortable. Like I want people to love themselves,
Speaker 2: but if you are, if it's going to stop you
Speaker 2: from being intimate with people because you're so embarrassed by
Speaker 2: something or mortified, even though we might look at your
Speaker 2: vagina and be like, you don't need to be like that, baby,
Speaker 2: Your vagina's great. If you just can't get past that,
Speaker 2: then that is a reason for you to go and
Speaker 2: look into it one hundred percent. But please don't just
Speaker 2: do it because you think more people have innies than
Speaker 2: OUTI is.
Speaker 1: And this is the case for everything though, right Like
Speaker 1: we're not against having plastic surgery, we're not against doing
Speaker 1: anything that you want to do, but it's the sentiment
Speaker 1: behind it. You know, if you want to go and
Speaker 1: get a nose job, great, if the reason why you
Speaker 1: want to get a nose job is because it will
Speaker 1: make you feel better and you're doing it for yourself.
Speaker 1: But if you're doing it because of this comparison culture,
Speaker 1: you're doing it because you feel like the only way
Speaker 1: that you're going to beautiful is is to have X,
Speaker 1: Y and Z done. I think that sometimes there's this
Speaker 1: really unattainable goal that's out there, and like we've kind
Speaker 1: of drifted so far from what is normal and what
Speaker 1: we're born with because we keep on striving to be
Speaker 1: more perfect, more beautiful. The filters on the internet are
Speaker 1: getting more crazy. We can change ourselves so easily and accessibly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and for all of you people that don't have
Speaker 2: a medical condition and are going to make your laby
Speaker 2: look better, spare thought for us. You're making this harder
Speaker 2: for us that have Audi labiers if you're all going
Speaker 2: to make yours really neat.
Speaker 1: Totally fucking owl. I'm over here with an Audi Labia,
Speaker 1: like whatever. I quite like my I am actually so
Speaker 1: fucking proud of my vagina.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I'm sure Deli Mail is going to pick this up.
Speaker 1: I guess it's not. I've had two babies out of
Speaker 1: this thing. Like, trust me, it has been on a
Speaker 1: roller coaster, this vagina. It has been swollen, and when
Speaker 1: I walked it's back to kind of normal now, Like
Speaker 1: I have been on a real roller coaster and thinks
Speaker 1: I have a great one, and that's what matters to me.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I just think we need to
Speaker 1: be a little bit less harsh in ourselves when it
Speaker 1: comes to all of our different body parts.
Speaker 2: All right, do you have another question for me?
Speaker 1: I do all right on that note, question number three.
Speaker 1: I've recently started seeing a new guy and it's going
Speaker 1: really well. We aren't officially together, but it's definitely headed
Speaker 1: that way. In my previous long term relationship, I cheated
Speaker 1: on my partner and that is why the relationship ended. Now,
Speaker 1: this was about eighteen months ago, and I have learned
Speaker 1: and grown so much from this experience and I would
Speaker 1: never in a million years or let it happen again.
Speaker 1: I'm unsure of whether this experience is something that I
Speaker 1: need to discuss with my new partner. Is this something
Speaker 1: that needs to be brought up before someone else tells him,
Speaker 1: or should this just not be a topic of conversation.
Speaker 1: I'm nervous for the outcome of this and don't know
Speaker 1: how to approach this at all.
Speaker 2: AB absolutely not. I do not think that you need
Speaker 2: to go into a relationship or start dating someone and
Speaker 2: say look before you for me, I need to tell
Speaker 2: you that years ago I did the wrong thing and
Speaker 2: cheated on someone. No, that is not a thing that
Speaker 2: needs to happen. If your partner asks you, do you
Speaker 2: need to respond? You still don't need to, but I would.
Speaker 2: My advice here is fuck like. We're not defined by
Speaker 2: what we have done or mistakes we have made in
Speaker 2: the past. There are plenty of people, myself included, have
Speaker 2: her made mistakes in the past, and that doesn't stay
Speaker 2: with you forever, and it doesn't make you a specific person.
Speaker 2: If your partner asks you, have you ever cheated on
Speaker 2: anyone in the past, then I would probably be honest,
Speaker 2: especially if what you've said where you're scared someone else
Speaker 2: will tell him. That's not a time to lie. If
Speaker 2: you know that the truth could come out, then I
Speaker 2: would just be honest. If they ask you, I would say, look, yeah,
Speaker 2: it was not something i'm proud of. I did do it.
Speaker 2: I'm mortified by it, and I would one hundred percent
Speaker 2: never do it again, like I was young and stupid
Speaker 2: and made a mistake one hundred pcent. To be honest,
Speaker 2: don't be like, no way, I never did. Because you
Speaker 2: want the guy to fall herd over heels in love,
Speaker 2: because when he finds out in six months, he'll be like, yo,
Speaker 2: you're lying to me, which is probably worse than if
Speaker 2: you just told me you had cheated in the past.
Speaker 2: Now that was a convoluted answer, but are you on
Speaker 2: board with that.
Speaker 1: I feel like this is controversial because I think there's
Speaker 1: gonna be people who disagree with this totally. Okay, we
Speaker 1: don't have to agree with everything. I think you got
Speaker 1: there in the end with your point.
Speaker 2: But what I was like, I just don't think you
Speaker 2: need to say. I don't think you owe anyone. You
Speaker 2: don't have to meet someone and be like, Hi, I
Speaker 2: like long walk to the beach sunsets early mornings, and
Speaker 2: I cheated once, Like, you don't need to do that.
Speaker 1: No, And I okay, So I agree. I do not
Speaker 1: think that you need to tell someone, especially before you're
Speaker 1: in a committed relationship. I don't think you need to
Speaker 1: sit down and be like, hey, I want to tell
Speaker 1: you about my deep and dark, seated past and here's
Speaker 1: my childhood trauma and I cheated on a guy eighteen months.
Speaker 2: This is not life on cut.
Speaker 1: You don't have to do that by any means. And
Speaker 1: when you said Britt that like, if they ask you,
Speaker 1: you should then tell them the truth. My one thing
Speaker 1: I'm going to say is if he asks you, have
Speaker 1: you ever cheated? You have to tell him the truth.
Speaker 1: And I do think that you owe it to him
Speaker 1: to tell him the truth. And the reason why is
Speaker 1: because we all have different triggers in a relationship. We
Speaker 1: all have different things that are a caveat, you know,
Speaker 1: that are like a make or break for some people.
Speaker 1: They will have an insecurity that may have been because
Speaker 1: they've been cheated on it, maybe because they've experienced something
Speaker 1: in their life. And so if they ask that question
Speaker 1: of you and you lie, then they're opting into a
Speaker 1: relationship based on a person who they thought you were,
Speaker 1: or based on an experience that they thought you have had.
Speaker 1: So I think if somebody asks at point blank have
Speaker 1: you cheated? You owe that person, if you care about them,
Speaker 1: the honest truth so that they can make up and
Speaker 1: inform decision for themselves. If they don't ask the question, No,
Speaker 1: I don't think you fucking owe them that you do.
Speaker 1: At some point, you know, we talk about our relationships,
Speaker 1: these things kind of come up. But I don't think
Speaker 1: that you have to sit down and sit in the
Speaker 1: shit that you've done in your past and tell every
Speaker 1: single person because exactly what you've said in your message,
Speaker 1: we learn from our mistakes we grow as people and
Speaker 1: we make choices as to whether we really acknowledge whether
Speaker 1: we want to do those things again. And I have
Speaker 1: cheated in my past relationship. Matt knows about it. Matt
Speaker 1: knows everything about my past relationships. But did I tell
Speaker 1: him that before he committed to me on the red
Speaker 1: carpet on The Bachelor. No, when you first arrival night, yeah, like, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Laura, It's so nice to meet you. I cheat
Speaker 1: on my ex boyfriend because I was going through a
Speaker 1: bit of a shitty time my life. No, I didn't
Speaker 1: tell him that. I look back on that time of
Speaker 1: my life and I regret the decisions I made, and
Speaker 1: I learned from those experiences, and what that has done
Speaker 1: for me is that I know I will never do
Speaker 1: that to Matt because I never want to make those
Speaker 1: mistakes again in my life. So, if anything, he has
Speaker 1: received the much better, well rounded version of what I
Speaker 1: was ten years ago. And I think that maybe that's
Speaker 1: what this guy's going to receive, a view like you've lived,
Speaker 1: that you've made the mistakes. I don't think you need
Speaker 1: to punish yourself by sitting there and telling him every
Speaker 1: part of your mistake unless he specifically asks for it.
Speaker 1: I think the really important part of this is that
Speaker 1: you've learnt from it.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: If somebody who you know, or somebody who's connected to
Speaker 1: him uses that as a weapon against you to tell
Speaker 1: him that you know you've cheated, then that opens up
Speaker 1: a conversation that you guys are going to have to
Speaker 1: sit down and have if you're fearful that someone is
Speaker 1: going to out you for it. Like I don't know
Speaker 1: how like spectacular this cheating scandal was. I don't know
Speaker 1: how damaging it was to your friendship groups or to
Speaker 1: your relationship. There could be a chance that maybe a
Speaker 1: lot of your friends who are similar friends to him
Speaker 1: know about this, and there is a possibility it would
Speaker 1: get back to him. If you're worried about it getting
Speaker 1: back to him, then maybe it's good for it to
Speaker 1: come from you so that you could control the conversation.
Speaker 1: You can control the story, and you can tell it
Speaker 1: from your own perspective. And I think sometimes when we're
Speaker 1: vulnerable and we admit the mistakes that we've made in
Speaker 1: the past, it's much better than seeming like we've hidden them.
Speaker 1: So I guess that that's just a decision for you
Speaker 1: to make. As to how you want to manage this.
Speaker 1: But I think that we've all done shitty things in
Speaker 1: the past in relationships, and that's how we learn and
Speaker 1: we do better. I don't think that just because you've
Speaker 1: cheated once, it makes you a cheater for life. I
Speaker 1: actually really hate that once a cheater, always a cheat saying,
Speaker 1: because I think we can really really learn from hurting
Speaker 1: other people.
Speaker 2: I don't have anything to add. That was like such
Speaker 2: a big spiel.
Speaker 1: Sorry it was big, but I guess because I've lived
Speaker 1: it and I've experienced it. When we make sweeping statements
Speaker 1: like that, like once a cheatter, always a cheater, it
Speaker 1: doesn't allow for personal growth, It doesn't allow for change,
Speaker 1: it doesn't allow for becoming a better person. And I
Speaker 1: think that like, at the end of the day, that's
Speaker 1: the journey that we're all on. We're all trying to
Speaker 1: do better than what we did six months ago, or
Speaker 1: a year ago or ten years ago.
Speaker 2: Well, it's also like that saying a leopard can't change
Speaker 2: its spots. I used to say that all the time,
Speaker 2: and I used to really believe it, but it's not true.
Speaker 2: Like I mean, physically a leopard can't, but like as
Speaker 2: an analogy.
Speaker 1: Pretty sure, that's the whole point of saying no, I agree.
Speaker 1: It's funny because we unpacked this a little bit with
Speaker 1: producer Keisha, and Keisha was like, if I was in
Speaker 1: that situation, I would want to know if my partner
Speaker 1: had cheated on someone like I would want to be
Speaker 1: told that. And I guess my retaliation to somebody who's
Speaker 1: listening to this and thinking, Yeah, if I was dating
Speaker 1: a guy, I would want to know if he cheated
Speaker 1: on his ex. If you want to know that, ask
Speaker 1: the question. Don't expect someone to give that information to you,
Speaker 1: because we're not entitled to know every single thing about
Speaker 1: the person we're dating's past. Like, we're not entitled to
Speaker 1: that information. But if it's something that is, like I said,
Speaker 1: a deal breaker for you, ask the question and hopefully
Speaker 1: you'll get a really honest conversation that will come from it,
Speaker 1: a really vulnerable and real conversation.
Speaker 2: But anyway, guys, that is it for us.
Speaker 1: That is our quick, down and dirty Ask Uncut episode
Speaker 1: where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions. And
Speaker 1: if you have any more burning questions for us, you
Speaker 1: can slide on into our DMS on Instagram, which is
Speaker 1: life Uncut Podcast, or you can also follow us on
Speaker 1: the Facebook page which is on the Life on Podcast
Speaker 1: discussion group. Now, this is also our last episode. Well
Speaker 1: it's not our last episode. We're not leaving you for
Speaker 1: very long, but we were planning on having a media break,
Speaker 1: which we were going to take three weeks off, and
Speaker 1: instead of just having a media break and going and
Speaker 1: having a holiday, we're sick for this. We can't get
Speaker 1: away from it. So we have actually recorded bonus content,
Speaker 1: so you guys will still get episodes on Tuesdays and
Speaker 1: on Thursdays, it just won't be the normal scheduled episodes
Speaker 1: that you guys are used to. We do, however, have
Speaker 1: a very exciting bonus episode coming up which I am
Speaker 1: going to be interviewing the new.
Speaker 2: Batchy our pilot, Jimmy, So that'll be.
Speaker 1: Coming in a couple of weeks too, And if you
Speaker 1: guys want to keep on top of that, you can
Speaker 1: jump on Instagram or on the Facebook page and I
Speaker 1: will let you know as soon as that's been recorded
Speaker 1: and it's coming out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so there's just gonna be some really fun content.
Speaker 2: We didn't want to leave you guys high and dry completely,
Speaker 2: so we've got some content coming from Laura and Matt.
Speaker 2: We've got the bonus episode with Jimmy the Bachelor, who
Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear. If the time zones allow,
Speaker 2: I will phone on in.
Speaker 1: We have a completely accidentally unfiltered All your Embarrassing Dating
Speaker 1: Stories episode which I fucking cannot.
Speaker 2: Wait to listen to it happens. Yes, we've got that,
Speaker 2: and then I don't want to make any promise because
Speaker 2: I haven't heard how good it's gonna be yet. But
Speaker 2: Jordan and I might be bringing you an extra bonus
Speaker 2: podcast too, because that's what you guys wanted. But the
Speaker 2: reason I'm not promising that is I don't know how
Speaker 2: shit he'll be yet. I don't know if the guy
Speaker 2: can podcast. I don't know if it's gonna be worth listening.
Speaker 1: To, thinking it could be worst case scenario but hoping
Speaker 1: for the best. And then we'll see where we land
Speaker 1: somewhere in the middle of that. So no promises, but
Speaker 1: they're the things coming to you, guys.
Speaker 2: And anyway, that is it from us.
Speaker 1: If you haven't subscribed yet, hit subscribe five stars. You
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