WEBVTT - #130 Becky Lucas: Preparing my newborn for open heart surgery 

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<v Speaker 1>Matthew, how would you describe parenting? It is hell?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. It is painful, it is exhausting, it's relentless.

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<v Speaker 2>But can I also have to say I love my kids,

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<v Speaker 2>love my kids. It's great. Wouldn't change for the world,

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<v Speaker 2>but it's it's a world of hell.

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<v Speaker 1>Well said Well.

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<v Speaker 3>Comedian Becky Lucas would explain it probably the same, but

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<v Speaker 3>she loves it.

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<v Speaker 2>At least I'm not alone Becky Lucas, she is one

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<v Speaker 2>of Australia's favorite comedians.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, she was the first Australian female comedian to feature

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<v Speaker 3>on Conan O'Brien.

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<v Speaker 4>I think the worst thing about your parents getting divorce

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<v Speaker 4>is that they move into two different houses and then you,

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<v Speaker 4>as the kid, has to move from house to house.

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<v Speaker 4>I remember being little thinking why can't I stay here?

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<v Speaker 4>And you guys move to me, and I'm like, why

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<v Speaker 4>am I five years old learning how to roll my

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<v Speaker 4>socks to fit more room in the suitcase because dad

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<v Speaker 4>kiss a woman at a party. Now I get there,

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<v Speaker 4>he's like, oh, you forgot your toothbrush. I'm like, dull,

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<v Speaker 4>you forgot your wedding bells?

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<v Speaker 2>And it's quite an achievement. Now, Becky, she is a

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<v Speaker 2>mum and boy. It is tough, but it is also

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<v Speaker 2>one of the best things in the world. Gosh, Becky

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<v Speaker 2>and I were so alike. We're soight wh're is the

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<v Speaker 2>same person? Both hilarious? Right Ash?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah? Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>Parenting for Becky has been a bit of a roller

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<v Speaker 3>coaster since a son was born. Little George was born

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<v Speaker 3>with a heart condition that meant that we have to

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<v Speaker 3>go to open heart surgery before his first birthday. Becky

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<v Speaker 3>feels like those early days of motherhood were robbed from her.

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<v Speaker 1>Look.

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<v Speaker 2>It can be tough for a comedian to share a

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<v Speaker 2>vulnerable story of their life, but this is one that

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<v Speaker 2>is incredibly heartfelt and we're so thankful that Becky felt

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<v Speaker 2>comfortable to share the story with us today.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, let's get into it.

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<v Speaker 2>Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.

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<v Speaker 2>I am Maddie, Jane, I'm Ash and I'm Becky.

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<v Speaker 4>Lucas nailed your own name.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry for stuffing up the intro.

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<v Speaker 4>I think it shows a sense of fun. We're all

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<v Speaker 4>This is.

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<v Speaker 2>A podcast all about parenting, Becky. It is the good,

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<v Speaker 2>it is the bad, and the relatable. And if you

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<v Speaker 2>come for advice, not us, not now, not never, but

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<v Speaker 2>maybe from you.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe, uh huh.

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<v Speaker 3>We just have to put that there legally, okay, trouble okay,

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<v Speaker 3>but you're allowed to give advice if you've got some.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, my question was yeah, and I hate to be

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<v Speaker 2>so goddamn cliche.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, don't overthink it.

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<v Speaker 2>But you're from Brisbane. I'm from Brisbane. You asked before

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<v Speaker 2>if I went to Marris what school did you go to?

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<v Speaker 4>I went to Brisbane State High What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 4>So you're a don't you I'm not an athlete. I

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<v Speaker 4>just lived in the catchment.

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<v Speaker 1>Because a comedian. Yeah, I was like, I heard comedy

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<v Speaker 1>is going to be in the Olympics. Well it was.

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<v Speaker 1>It was break dancing, but we're going to have it

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<v Speaker 1>in the next Olympics. No, I made it up.

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<v Speaker 4>Come on, Jesus, the jungle has fried? You are you

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<v Speaker 4>seem like so we allowed to mention the jungle.

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<v Speaker 1>It was televised. It's over I know.

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<v Speaker 4>But what I feels like sensitive, he's just like sensitive

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<v Speaker 4>about his time.

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<v Speaker 2>Still I'm coming to terms of like what just happened.

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<v Speaker 1>He still has the night terrorists during the day there

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<v Speaker 1>and be like.

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<v Speaker 2>The bathroom for one second, come out crying and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>did you do the post?

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like every time there's a celebrity that goes

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<v Speaker 4>into the jungle, they always do a post being like

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<v Speaker 4>we saw these amazing leopards and like, did you do that?

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<v Speaker 4>I did, because I just feel like every celebrity has

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<v Speaker 4>to pretend like, yeah, like I was in there for this,

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<v Speaker 4>but also the amazing leopards and.

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<v Speaker 3>Your friend goes away for like a month and like, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>I lived in London for a month.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, South Africa for like a month.

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<v Speaker 2>In my defense, I took the kids on the safari

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<v Speaker 2>and they saw actually there was two cheaters who just

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<v Speaker 2>killed an antelope. Oh my god, and the thing was.

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<v Speaker 4>Like so speaking that local language.

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<v Speaker 2>And this thing was so mangled. It was so mangled,

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<v Speaker 2>and the kids were like, my kids are five and four,

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<v Speaker 2>like what's wrong with it. I was like, it's just sleeping.

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<v Speaker 2>And then these two cheaters are gnawing at it and.

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<v Speaker 3>They're like make it stop, and I was, my god,

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<v Speaker 3>it's a jungle massage.

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<v Speaker 2>I did see a couple of zebra.

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<v Speaker 6>Try.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like we sometimes try to get a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of a read on our guests.

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<v Speaker 4>Maybe you'll never know me, you will never know. You

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<v Speaker 4>can try, you can try, but you'll never know me.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you ever get suspended from school?

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, but I will say this, it was an in

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<v Speaker 4>school suspension. Yeah, I know, I know, but it's really

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<v Speaker 4>smart because if you get suspended, you're just at home

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<v Speaker 4>with all your things. But in school suspension you just

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<v Speaker 4>had to sit outside the office for five days.

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<v Speaker 2>Like medieval times. Being on show, you're like one of

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<v Speaker 2>those things too.

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<v Speaker 4>Like a hanniballeto mask, and I got it for smoking

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<v Speaker 4>cigs in the toilet, Yeah, which is funny. It'd be

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<v Speaker 4>funny if someone put a sig through the hannibal leto mask.

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<v Speaker 2>Give a hip. What was your thinking behind smoking cigarettes

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<v Speaker 2>in the toilet?

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<v Speaker 4>Just actually liked cigarettes? Yeah, My thinking was like I

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<v Speaker 4>like to do this, and I'm going to do this.

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<v Speaker 2>Was it the little lunch or the big lunch?

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<v Speaker 4>It might have even been like during class.

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<v Speaker 1>Nice you have.

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<v Speaker 4>It's kind of funny because it's not even like, oh,

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<v Speaker 4>this naughty thing we're planning to do. I'm like just

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<v Speaker 4>actually stressed out from class and need my little genuinely

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<v Speaker 4>stressed out.

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<v Speaker 2>And then how did you get caught?

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<v Speaker 4>I was stopped on I actually can't remember bridge it with.

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<v Speaker 2>My I honestly, I didn't think you would have been

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<v Speaker 2>type of person.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was smoking. It was more that's the only

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<v Speaker 1>time he was suspended.

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<v Speaker 4>I think, So there were other times where it was

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<v Speaker 4>like threatened or whatever. But yeah, I was like, I

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<v Speaker 4>wouldn't say I was a naughty kid, but I did

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<v Speaker 4>get swept up in the moment.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, who was the disciplinary one at hunt? Who have parents?

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you for actually bringing that up. Okay, I guess

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<v Speaker 4>I guess my fractured home life kind of contributed to Yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>it's like but disciplinary. I don't know, Like I guess

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<v Speaker 4>both my parents were disciplinarian in a way. But there

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<v Speaker 4>is something about them being separated where you never truly

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<v Speaker 4>have to answer to anyone too much, Like you can

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<v Speaker 4>always stories can be you know, you can kind of

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<v Speaker 4>play parents. Yeah, Like if I was ever in trouble,

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<v Speaker 4>I could always just gossip about Dad to mom. You know,

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<v Speaker 4>She's like, where on your homework? I'm like, I don't know,

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<v Speaker 4>but do you know what Dad said the other He said,

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<v Speaker 4>this is a really weird thing, and she's interested. So

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<v Speaker 4>I could always which I think kind of is bad.

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<v Speaker 4>Like I do think I gossip a lot now because

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<v Speaker 4>I grew up being able to yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Dad's good and your girlfriend yeah yeah, quickly change.

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<v Speaker 4>That will always be a bit interested in a tidbit

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<v Speaker 4>of your life.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll blame having an older sister from my last gossip. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, guess, guess what, ash you do love gossip?

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<v Speaker 4>There's always something, you know how evolutionary things always get

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<v Speaker 4>people out of bad behavior, like I don't know, you'll

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<v Speaker 4>you'll or something like, well, gossip was actually an evolutionary

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<v Speaker 4>tool because it was the collition of the information about

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<v Speaker 4>the mob and the tribe and you were just trying

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<v Speaker 4>to like survive, and it's like not used a piece

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<v Speaker 4>of shit, but you can like use these things like oh,

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<v Speaker 4>it's actually about survival. It's because I'm a woman and

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<v Speaker 4>gossip's my only tool in the tribe.

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<v Speaker 1>And before they had.

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<v Speaker 3>Delivered thing, they just gossiped its way like Chinese whispers

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<v Speaker 3>the next person.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, let's get back on track.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, sorry, I am a mother. Let's get more into Yah.

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<v Speaker 2>So your son is currently with your sister.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, my sister Hannah, who's twenty two, and she's awesome,

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<v Speaker 4>but yeah, she we drove here and the windscreen wipers

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<v Speaker 4>were on the whole time and she just didn't notice.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh fuck, like she just.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, she's kind of she was awesome, but like saying,

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<v Speaker 4>she just doesn't Yeah, she's not aware.

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<v Speaker 3>Between you and her, like, yeah, not to point that out, sorry,

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<v Speaker 3>but she's quite young.

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<v Speaker 4>And I'm quite.

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<v Speaker 2>Going back to the divorce parents, is this?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, second family? I'm Sorryron, simply two half two half

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<v Speaker 4>eas Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>That's enough of that. That's enough questioning for me. I

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<v Speaker 1>just want to get the whole picture.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, what else do you want to do?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry for Ash, That's okay, that's all right, He's uh,

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<v Speaker 2>I get it, take it away, keep going.

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<v Speaker 1>I was going to say, okay, so why't.

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<v Speaker 6>Ask about the parents, the divorce parents. I want to

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<v Speaker 6>know about about Chris, my boyfriend. Yes, okay, what do

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<v Speaker 6>you want to know?

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<v Speaker 1>Boy?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>What did you meet?

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<v Speaker 4>We met at a party through a friend. What it was.

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<v Speaker 4>He was having a party at his house.

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<v Speaker 1>He was having the party you just said a party,

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<v Speaker 1>not his party.

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<v Speaker 4>It was his party. And I was with some friends

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<v Speaker 4>actually the boys from the Buttuda Advocate and my friend

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<v Speaker 4>Lovely Boys, my friend, my friend Dixie I just arrived

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<v Speaker 4>and at first sight for me maybe and Chris, what

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<v Speaker 4>do you think, he's just really hot. It's a bit

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<v Speaker 4>of acause mostly that it's a power play as well.

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<v Speaker 4>It's his house, his party. Yeah, he's got the upper hand,

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<v Speaker 4>do you reckon? I kind of think arriving to the

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<v Speaker 4>party is a bit of upper hand. I think hosting

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<v Speaker 4>a party in a very weak position really a little

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<v Speaker 4>bit because you're worrying about how the party is going

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<v Speaker 4>to go, your toilets being people taking big dumps, ship

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<v Speaker 4>people are doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>You walked down and you like took a big ship

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<v Speaker 1>in the hay.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm in control, I have the upper hand. Don't go

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<v Speaker 4>in there.

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<v Speaker 1>You kind of think like it's my party, I got

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<v Speaker 1>pick of the birds.

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<v Speaker 4>But then that is true, that is true. I think

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<v Speaker 4>you could make a case either way. I think there

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<v Speaker 4>is a vulnerability in having a party because like if

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<v Speaker 4>it's a if it's a failure, that's embarrassing and people

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<v Speaker 4>are kind of using your house just however they want,

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<v Speaker 4>and you're the one that has to be like, guys,

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<v Speaker 4>can you not get there?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>You have to be a bit a bit of a

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<v Speaker 4>sort of what's the word anal attentive.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, i'd I can't do I can't host events.

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<v Speaker 4>Because I'm just yet. It's just too anxious, and you're

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<v Speaker 4>worried about who's talking to who and who's having a

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<v Speaker 4>good time, and like, I'm just out of my mind

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<v Speaker 4>the whole time.

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<v Speaker 2>Who was spearheading the conversation about starting a family?

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, isn't it mostly the woman? I feel like men don't.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a good question.

0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:34.240
<v Speaker 4>Men don't know that they want it until it happens.

0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.280
<v Speaker 4>Like he was very like, he was like, yeah, it'd

0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.320
<v Speaker 4>be cool, and then I sort of pushed it down

0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:43.040
<v Speaker 4>the track. And then even like when I was pregnant,

0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:46.319
<v Speaker 4>like he was obviously excited and everything, but it felt

0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:49.400
<v Speaker 4>like he went but I made all the decisions about

0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:52.040
<v Speaker 4>what prem we're getting. I could really barely get him.

0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.360
<v Speaker 4>But I do feel like, yeah, he didn't care about

0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:58.240
<v Speaker 4>all of that stuff or maybe couldn't conceptualize it. And

0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:01.040
<v Speaker 4>then as soon as the baby was in front of him,

0:12:01.080 --> 0:12:05.760
<v Speaker 4>it was like, which you guys probably remember that feeling

0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 4>of like can't really conceptualize and then it's there and

0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:13.480
<v Speaker 4>he just could not stop crying. Really, and he's not

0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:16.240
<v Speaker 4>a crier at all. He was crying so much, Like

0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:18.720
<v Speaker 4>our baby had to go to nick You for a

0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 4>few days because he inhaled a lot of liquids and

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:30.800
<v Speaker 4>he was okay, like he was stable and everything, Like

0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.200
<v Speaker 4>he was really just there for monitoring. And my boyfriend

0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.559
<v Speaker 4>cried so much that the nurse in nick You was like, hey, man,

0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:40.280
<v Speaker 4>are you okay? It's like the place where the most

0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:45.200
<v Speaker 4>crying happens. He still was crying more than anyone. Yeah,

0:12:45.240 --> 0:12:51.480
<v Speaker 4>Like he just could not believe happiness, like absolutely overwhelmed

0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:54.560
<v Speaker 4>by the love, and ever since then has been so

0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.040
<v Speaker 4>much more involved than any Like, you know, we can

0:12:58.080 --> 0:13:00.120
<v Speaker 4>talk for so long about like, oh, I think we

0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:01.960
<v Speaker 4>should buy this type of food and I think this

0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:05.400
<v Speaker 4>and he looked like he's pooh. Was like he just

0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:08.120
<v Speaker 4>went from being yeah, I couldn't get him really interested

0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:10.760
<v Speaker 4>to yeah, that's all we talk about. He's obsessed.

0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:12.960
<v Speaker 2>That's the dream though, right, But you would want that

0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:16.000
<v Speaker 2>as opposed to you being like, can you please just

0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:16.880
<v Speaker 2>change an happy?

0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:19.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah? No, he's the best, dat he's awesome.

0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:21.520
<v Speaker 2>Where do you think that reluctance came from?

0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:21.719
<v Speaker 1>It?

0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.880
<v Speaker 4>Just I just think I don't know. I mean, I

0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.240
<v Speaker 4>think it's kind of a cultural thing. Like people are

0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:31.120
<v Speaker 4>very anti natalist, you know, Like I do think there's

0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.560
<v Speaker 4>a bit of anti baby sentiment in the air, and

0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:35.440
<v Speaker 4>I don't know what came first. I'm like, is it

0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:38.520
<v Speaker 4>because it's harder for people to is it the breakdown

0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:42.160
<v Speaker 4>of society where it's like people aren't earning enough money

0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:46.080
<v Speaker 4>to have a baby, or like they're not you know,

0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.160
<v Speaker 4>it's harder to meet a life partner, and so you

0:13:49.280 --> 0:13:52.319
<v Speaker 4>just kind of take on this attitude of like babies.

0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:54.600
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, I do feel like there's a bit

0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:54.800
<v Speaker 4>of that.

0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.640
<v Speaker 2>I think it's a bit of a there's two sides

0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.120
<v Speaker 2>that there's one side of people being like it is amazing,

0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:02.600
<v Speaker 2>like it's life changing, I have purpose, and the other

0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.440
<v Speaker 2>side where it's like rule my life. Yeah I can't

0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:06.280
<v Speaker 2>do anything anymore.

0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:09.680
<v Speaker 4>But like both like every day I'm like this is fucked,

0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:14.240
<v Speaker 4>and then I'm in the same day I'm I've never

0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.480
<v Speaker 4>smiled more in my life, Like it's just the joy

0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:19.960
<v Speaker 4>is crazy. But it's every day I'm like, what have

0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:20.360
<v Speaker 4>I done?

0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:20.920
<v Speaker 1>Is wrong?

0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:23.800
<v Speaker 3>It is you know we were talking about this before

0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:28.400
<v Speaker 3>where it's like like you can't truly love something all

0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 3>the time.

0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:32.360
<v Speaker 1>No, You're like, yeah, you're like, oh.

0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.000
<v Speaker 3>This is amazing, and then you're like then they like

0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:37.600
<v Speaker 3>smash a glass off the thing, and you're like.

0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:46.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, totally absolutely, but it's such an exercise. And like, like,

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.000
<v Speaker 4>I had a friend the other day who doesn't want kids,

0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:50.640
<v Speaker 4>and he was talking about how he took all day

0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:54.760
<v Speaker 4>to make a sandwich and I was I had just

0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 4>had no sleep and it was just so like just

0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:00.480
<v Speaker 4>to get to this place where we were going heading

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.520
<v Speaker 4>up for a gig, it was just so much, baby,

0:15:03.560 --> 0:15:07.040
<v Speaker 4>and I'm like struggling, hunched over zips, like just your

0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:10.320
<v Speaker 4>whole day so hard. And he said, like he was

0:15:10.440 --> 0:15:12.720
<v Speaker 4>describing making this sandwich all day and then he kind

0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:15.280
<v Speaker 4>of was like, oh, sorry because he knows how hard

0:15:16.360 --> 0:15:19.200
<v Speaker 4>my day is. But in my mind, I'm like, no,

0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:23.600
<v Speaker 4>don't be sorry, Like I'm I love even though it's

0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:26.960
<v Speaker 4>I was complaining. I love doing this for my son. Yeah,

0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.800
<v Speaker 4>and like I get to see him, like I saw

0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.120
<v Speaker 4>him see a rainbow for the first time, and it's

0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:33.240
<v Speaker 4>like it's all worth it.

0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:36.120
<v Speaker 2>It's like watch my son see a rainbow for the

0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:38.960
<v Speaker 2>first time and that moment, or make a sandwich all day.

0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:45.080
<v Speaker 4>Like yeah, yeah, it sounded pretty good. Actually, but yeah,

0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.440
<v Speaker 4>it is. It's a funny, it's yeah. I guess it's

0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:51.920
<v Speaker 4>also designed perfectly, like because before you do it, you

0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:56.200
<v Speaker 4>just don't know how good it is. So like people

0:15:56.240 --> 0:16:00.360
<v Speaker 4>who haven't done it or don't want to do it,

0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:02.880
<v Speaker 4>they'll never feel that. So it's kind of good.

0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:03.920
<v Speaker 2>You don't know what you don't know.

0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:05.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you don't know what you don't know. But yeah,

0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:14.560
<v Speaker 4>it is fucked for pregnant, like not as easy as

0:16:14.560 --> 0:16:16.880
<v Speaker 4>I assumed. Maybe I think we tried like five months.

0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:20.720
<v Speaker 4>Oh wow, so yeah, like I thought it would be boom,

0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.320
<v Speaker 4>but five months. It's not as long. I know, like

0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:24.400
<v Speaker 4>other people have that much.

0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:28.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, will you spend your twenties trying not to get

0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:31.120
<v Speaker 2>pressured exactly and then when you try and get pregnant

0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:32.760
<v Speaker 2>like oh wow, this is actually.

0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:36.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I've had a lot of common Why is this

0:16:36.160 --> 0:16:40.120
<v Speaker 4>not taking? They always made it out like like just

0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.960
<v Speaker 4>one of them was gonna be like and I'm like, well.

0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:45.200
<v Speaker 3>Millions, it's sort of like if you're throwing off ship

0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:49.400
<v Speaker 3>at the wall, something's going to stick, right, That's what comes.

0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:55.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm imagining Betty just like covered in like sick, Something's

0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 2>going to stick.

0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:01.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Chris, is there like nothing else.

0:17:02.880 --> 0:17:03.880
<v Speaker 1>Like Matt from the Jungle.

0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:09.000
<v Speaker 2>When Chris found out, was he on board or was Yeah.

0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:12.280
<v Speaker 4>Like immediately was really happy. But I just think before

0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:16.720
<v Speaker 4>then didn't have the drive that I did, Like, wasn't

0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:20.400
<v Speaker 4>as alongside me as I would have wanted. But I

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:23.680
<v Speaker 4>just I don't know whether it was hormonal or whatever,

0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:26.080
<v Speaker 4>but I was like, it's happening, and I just knew

0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:27.359
<v Speaker 4>he'd love it once he did it.

0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:32.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, was it an easy pregnancy.

0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:35.800
<v Speaker 4>It was physically, but we had a like we had

0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:44.399
<v Speaker 4>a pretty hectic time. At my seventeen week scan, it

0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.840
<v Speaker 4>was actually it was earlier. I maybe had an earlier

0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:50.000
<v Speaker 4>scan at like fourteen weeks. So I'm really bad at talking, seriously,

0:17:50.080 --> 0:17:57.159
<v Speaker 4>I feel it's a new skill to like talk earnestly, Like,

0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:59.280
<v Speaker 4>especially as a comedian, you just always want to get laughed.

0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:03.560
<v Speaker 4>So you're like, oh, they accept me, so to speak

0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:07.320
<v Speaker 4>covered and come exactly, and then you laugh and I'm like, Okay,

0:18:07.320 --> 0:18:10.320
<v Speaker 4>everything's all good, and now I have to be earnest

0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:14.240
<v Speaker 4>and no. So at my fourteen week scan, the lady

0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:17.199
<v Speaker 4>sort of couldn't see all of the heart, but she

0:18:17.240 --> 0:18:19.880
<v Speaker 4>didn't seem worried. She was like, oh, it's just really

0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.480
<v Speaker 4>small and he's in a weird position. So come back

0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:24.760
<v Speaker 4>in a few weeks. So I didn't think anything of it.

0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:28.280
<v Speaker 4>That my GP was like, that's normal. So I went

0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.760
<v Speaker 4>back at seventeen weeks like happy as Larry. Everything up

0:18:31.840 --> 0:18:34.040
<v Speaker 4>until then had been perfect, perfect, perfect, So I just

0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:38.200
<v Speaker 4>never thought anything of it. And then she was doing

0:18:38.240 --> 0:18:42.280
<v Speaker 4>the scan and this lady wasn't saying anything, and I

0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:45.159
<v Speaker 4>was like, can you see what you're looking for? And

0:18:45.200 --> 0:18:48.280
<v Speaker 4>she said, oh, I think I can. I'm just going

0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:50.879
<v Speaker 4>to get the obstetrician to talk to you. And so

0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:55.000
<v Speaker 4>then it was just like like the worst feeling I've

0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:59.080
<v Speaker 4>I actually haven't talked about his phages but and so

0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:01.160
<v Speaker 4>then I got put into a little room for fifteen

0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:04.639
<v Speaker 4>minutes by myself, and the obstetrician walked in and just

0:19:04.680 --> 0:19:08.119
<v Speaker 4>pushed the tissues towards me. You're kidding, yeah, And she

0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:12.640
<v Speaker 4>said it's not good news, and I started crying, and

0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:16.760
<v Speaker 4>she basically started describing what it was, but never kind

0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:21.639
<v Speaker 4>of got into like you just want information, Like I

0:19:21.720 --> 0:19:23.520
<v Speaker 4>was like, so does this what does this mean? Like

0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:26.240
<v Speaker 4>am I so we have to terminate it or whatever?

0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:28.600
<v Speaker 4>And she said, we just don't know she's actually quite

0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:33.040
<v Speaker 4>strange as an obstitution, Like this lady. She because when

0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.520
<v Speaker 4>I was crying, she goes, Oh my god, she goes,

0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:37.560
<v Speaker 4>this is actually the worst part of my job.

0:19:39.320 --> 0:19:43.440
<v Speaker 1>I was like yeah.

0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:46.280
<v Speaker 4>I was like, okay, sorry, why do we.

0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:50.480
<v Speaker 1>Do the best? Yeah?

0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.240
<v Speaker 4>Right, So she was like, he has this thing called

0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:55.240
<v Speaker 4>I suspect he has this thing called Tetralogy of Fallow.

0:19:56.480 --> 0:20:00.920
<v Speaker 4>And it's I know, it's called Tetralogy of Fallow.

0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:02.320
<v Speaker 1>The things I know.

0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:04.920
<v Speaker 4>I wish it was more simple because no one can

0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:10.800
<v Speaker 4>remember it. It sounds like a JR. Tolkien novel or something,

0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:16.200
<v Speaker 4>but it's it's like there's four things that have gone

0:20:16.240 --> 0:20:18.720
<v Speaker 4>wrong with the heart, so they only need to correct too,

0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:22.679
<v Speaker 4>and that's the whole, and there's the valve. But the

0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:25.399
<v Speaker 4>thing is it can be a sign of other abnormalities.

0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:27.359
<v Speaker 4>So I didn't know whether I was going to have

0:20:27.520 --> 0:20:30.679
<v Speaker 4>what he had had genetic abnormalities, and we would have

0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:33.320
<v Speaker 4>to terminate at like twenty weeks, which would have been

0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:35.680
<v Speaker 4>so horrible anyway, So we went in at twenty weeks

0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:38.160
<v Speaker 4>and had everything done and they were like, no, he's

0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:42.360
<v Speaker 4>actually completely healthy and normal except for this thing. And

0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:45.720
<v Speaker 4>they said it was actually funny because a lot of

0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 4>like I got a lot of comfort from the women

0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:50.560
<v Speaker 4>who were like, it's okay, darling, everything's going to be fine.

0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 4>We have so many kids who come in with this

0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:57.400
<v Speaker 4>gets fixed. And I liked that kind of caring, feminine reassurance.

0:20:57.400 --> 0:21:00.560
<v Speaker 4>Whereas my boyfriend, who's half Chinese, doesn't like all of

0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:03.520
<v Speaker 4>that very fairy talk. And he loved the doctor because

0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:06.080
<v Speaker 4>the doctor was this Chinese guy, this little guy called

0:21:06.080 --> 0:21:08.680
<v Speaker 4>doctor guy, and he just looked at it and he said,

0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:12.240
<v Speaker 4>we can fix, we can fix, and he's like, it's fine,

0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:16.400
<v Speaker 4>I fix all the time. It's fine outset. Yeah, And

0:21:16.400 --> 0:21:20.040
<v Speaker 4>like my boyfriend like enjoyed a Chinese man who knows

0:21:20.080 --> 0:21:23.680
<v Speaker 4>what he's talking about, like assuring us of and so, yeah.

0:21:23.720 --> 0:21:26.159
<v Speaker 2>At least you had both ends of the spectrum, like

0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:29.320
<v Speaker 2>you have your self touch of the you had like

0:21:29.440 --> 0:21:31.119
<v Speaker 2>the firmness of the Chinese doctor.

0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:36.080
<v Speaker 4>So totally everyone's covered. Yeah, And so they do. They

0:21:36.080 --> 0:21:38.280
<v Speaker 4>f it's kind of their bread and butter surgery. There's

0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:41.480
<v Speaker 4>literally today would be two three kids right now at

0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:44.600
<v Speaker 4>Westmead getting it done. It's like something that they'd fix

0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:48.639
<v Speaker 4>a lot, but it is something that to fix, to

0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:52.560
<v Speaker 4>fixate its open heart surgery. Yeah on a baby.

0:21:53.240 --> 0:21:54.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sorry, baby, not a child.

0:21:54.760 --> 0:21:58.000
<v Speaker 4>And so this is all happened like so this is

0:21:58.040 --> 0:22:01.320
<v Speaker 4>before I've had the baby. So they're all very confident

0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:03.200
<v Speaker 4>and like we fix it all the time. And they

0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:05.800
<v Speaker 4>make me feel like, you know, back to the pregnancy,

0:22:06.040 --> 0:22:08.720
<v Speaker 4>just you know, he's healthy and like we'll fix it

0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:12.120
<v Speaker 4>and these are all the steps. But you know, I'm

0:22:12.160 --> 0:22:14.520
<v Speaker 4>reading things online and there's a big spectrum and there's

0:22:14.600 --> 0:22:17.560
<v Speaker 4>people who've had a really terrible time with it. But

0:22:17.640 --> 0:22:19.480
<v Speaker 4>I also think you have to remember when you're reading

0:22:19.480 --> 0:22:22.400
<v Speaker 4>stuff online, the sort of person who posts in online

0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:25.840
<v Speaker 4>forums is a very anxious person usually, do you know

0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:29.919
<v Speaker 4>what I mean? Like, so, yeah, anyway, so I just

0:22:29.960 --> 0:22:32.240
<v Speaker 4>tried to be positive and stuff, and then I had

0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:35.840
<v Speaker 4>the baby and it's suddenly like, oh, they're going to

0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:38.760
<v Speaker 4>do this to my baby. And so that then became

0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:43.600
<v Speaker 4>like I had been quite positive and like it's fixable,

0:22:43.640 --> 0:22:45.520
<v Speaker 4>blah blah blah, and then suddenly it was like, but

0:22:45.600 --> 0:22:47.600
<v Speaker 4>what if it's not and what if something goes wrong?

0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:49.959
<v Speaker 4>And then I had this little baby?

0:22:50.480 --> 0:22:52.440
<v Speaker 2>How long until they have the surgery?

0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:56.840
<v Speaker 4>So they didn't know. So the heart kind of takes

0:22:56.880 --> 0:22:58.720
<v Speaker 4>a little while to settle when the baby's born, Like

0:22:58.760 --> 0:23:00.800
<v Speaker 4>there's a few little vowels and stuff that open and

0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:04.360
<v Speaker 4>shut just in general, so they just had to see

0:23:04.359 --> 0:23:06.600
<v Speaker 4>how it all settled and then keep an eye on it,

0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:10.360
<v Speaker 4>and then they would decide based on how much oxygen

0:23:10.400 --> 0:23:13.119
<v Speaker 4>he's getting and everything. So when he was born, they

0:23:13.119 --> 0:23:16.000
<v Speaker 4>said probably around in six months. We had a surprise

0:23:16.080 --> 0:23:20.080
<v Speaker 4>hospital visit. They can go blue. They go blue when

0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:24.040
<v Speaker 4>the valve gets constricted, and it can happen like if

0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:26.520
<v Speaker 4>they're having a big crying fit or whatever. So that

0:23:26.640 --> 0:23:29.760
<v Speaker 4>just added because they cry. So when he would cry,

0:23:29.840 --> 0:23:32.920
<v Speaker 4>like normal people are freaking out, but I'm freaking out

0:23:33.000 --> 0:23:35.400
<v Speaker 4>because I'm worried he's going to go blue. So like

0:23:35.520 --> 0:23:39.000
<v Speaker 4>all of my anxieties were just so heightened. But then

0:23:39.240 --> 0:23:41.480
<v Speaker 4>I also had a really normal experience, like whenever I

0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:43.800
<v Speaker 4>talk to other mums, we were dealing with the same thing,

0:23:43.880 --> 0:23:48.600
<v Speaker 4>but I just had such an extra worry. And then

0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:52.520
<v Speaker 4>we had a hospital stay that was unexpected. He had

0:23:52.520 --> 0:23:54.800
<v Speaker 4>a blue spell during one of his checkups and then

0:23:54.840 --> 0:23:57.520
<v Speaker 4>it was suddenly like we're getting rushed to Westmead Hospital

0:23:58.440 --> 0:24:00.320
<v Speaker 4>and we were there for a week. And I don't

0:24:00.320 --> 0:24:02.840
<v Speaker 4>know if you've ever been on a ward with a child,

0:24:04.040 --> 0:24:06.359
<v Speaker 4>It's just like I had a little You have to

0:24:06.400 --> 0:24:09.919
<v Speaker 4>put them to sleep, and there's six other babies screaming,

0:24:10.160 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 4>and then it's a nightmare and the nurses come in,

0:24:12.880 --> 0:24:15.679
<v Speaker 4>so you just I just get him to sleep, and

0:24:15.680 --> 0:24:18.200
<v Speaker 4>then the nurse would come in and take his blood

0:24:18.200 --> 0:24:21.320
<v Speaker 4>pressure and he'd wake up screaming, and I'd get him settled,

0:24:21.320 --> 0:24:23.439
<v Speaker 4>and another baby would wake up screaming, and I just

0:24:23.480 --> 0:24:25.359
<v Speaker 4>didn't sleep for the entire I felt like I was

0:24:25.359 --> 0:24:28.159
<v Speaker 4>in hell. There was a woman next to me and

0:24:28.240 --> 0:24:31.640
<v Speaker 4>her little girl, Huffsa. She had a little girl and

0:24:31.760 --> 0:24:34.840
<v Speaker 4>she was coming down off she'd just had heart surgery

0:24:34.920 --> 0:24:37.520
<v Speaker 4>and she was recovering and she was in delirium. So

0:24:37.880 --> 0:24:40.560
<v Speaker 4>her little girl screamed for like twenty three hours of

0:24:40.840 --> 0:24:44.639
<v Speaker 4>twenty four hours. They couldn't do anything, and then they

0:24:44.760 --> 0:24:47.439
<v Speaker 4>and then there's like hell, yeah, and that happened to

0:24:47.480 --> 0:24:48.560
<v Speaker 4>my son as well.

0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:51.240
<v Speaker 1>I've never heard never I know that.

0:24:51.480 --> 0:24:53.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, Well, hope that's a good thing.

0:24:53.920 --> 0:24:59.439
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I get like, like for them to scream, do

0:24:59.480 --> 0:25:02.000
<v Speaker 3>they explore what, like why they screamed so much?

0:25:02.160 --> 0:25:03.840
<v Speaker 1>They just so not all of them.

0:25:03.760 --> 0:25:07.919
<v Speaker 4>Get screaming delirium. My son went cross eyed, which was

0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:11.880
<v Speaker 4>actually I'm laughing now, but I it wasious, like it

0:25:11.920 --> 0:25:15.440
<v Speaker 4>was fucked. I was so upset because no one knew

0:25:15.440 --> 0:25:18.200
<v Speaker 4>what was going on either. They were like, we don't

0:25:18.240 --> 0:25:20.040
<v Speaker 4>really know why he's doing that. We can do a

0:25:20.080 --> 0:25:22.920
<v Speaker 4>brain scan tomorrow, and I'm like, please don't talk about

0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:25.720
<v Speaker 4>We've just done the heart. I know, because the whole

0:25:25.760 --> 0:25:29.400
<v Speaker 4>time it's been like, you know, with the brain, that's

0:25:29.480 --> 0:25:31.639
<v Speaker 4>that's very scary. It so seems so unknown. But with

0:25:31.680 --> 0:25:35.000
<v Speaker 4>the heart, like even though it's horrific, it's a pump,

0:25:35.119 --> 0:25:38.159
<v Speaker 4>like it's mechanical. They can fix it. Like my midwife

0:25:38.160 --> 0:25:40.000
<v Speaker 4>would always say, like he's got a pumbing issue, but

0:25:40.040 --> 0:25:43.200
<v Speaker 4>we can fix it. And that kind of calmed me down,

0:25:43.640 --> 0:25:44.000
<v Speaker 4>is there?

0:25:44.359 --> 0:25:47.320
<v Speaker 2>And this is like a confronting question, So apologies to

0:25:47.320 --> 0:25:51.080
<v Speaker 2>ass but you know, you think all the feedback you're

0:25:51.080 --> 0:25:53.440
<v Speaker 2>getting from the medical staff is that this is fixable

0:25:53.640 --> 0:25:56.480
<v Speaker 2>and this is not something that we haven't dealt with before,

0:25:56.560 --> 0:25:59.320
<v Speaker 2>we have experience here. But at the same time, open

0:25:59.320 --> 0:26:03.359
<v Speaker 2>heart surgery is full on in your head. Are you

0:26:03.520 --> 0:26:06.879
<v Speaker 2>also trying to manage expectations of like I wanted to

0:26:06.920 --> 0:26:09.800
<v Speaker 2>go well, but things might not work out. I know,

0:26:09.880 --> 0:26:12.360
<v Speaker 2>where's your head at? Leading into that five months.

0:26:12.320 --> 0:26:14.600
<v Speaker 4>I was just so mental because yeah, it's like how

0:26:14.600 --> 0:26:17.919
<v Speaker 4>do you love? I loved this thing that I felt

0:26:18.040 --> 0:26:21.119
<v Speaker 4>also like he could be taken from me, and like

0:26:21.200 --> 0:26:23.800
<v Speaker 4>they would talk about, you know, they have to tell

0:26:23.840 --> 0:26:25.359
<v Speaker 4>you what they're going to do in the surgery and

0:26:25.560 --> 0:26:28.320
<v Speaker 4>I never wanted to be told, but you know, they

0:26:29.240 --> 0:26:33.800
<v Speaker 4>have to break his sternum and his blood is outside

0:26:33.800 --> 0:26:37.480
<v Speaker 4>of his body, he's they stop his heart as a

0:26:37.480 --> 0:26:39.520
<v Speaker 4>five month old like this, and he was you know,

0:26:39.560 --> 0:26:41.800
<v Speaker 4>I know everyone thinks their baby special, but like he

0:26:41.920 --> 0:26:45.400
<v Speaker 4>just is so full of life and so happy, and

0:26:46.560 --> 0:26:49.639
<v Speaker 4>like I couldn't. Yeah, there was. It was very tough

0:26:50.880 --> 0:26:53.359
<v Speaker 4>because I felt like I had to confront his death

0:26:54.240 --> 0:26:56.720
<v Speaker 4>all the time. Like I just felt like every day

0:26:56.760 --> 0:26:59.080
<v Speaker 4>I had to think, like every time he smiled or

0:26:59.080 --> 0:27:01.520
<v Speaker 4>did something, I was like, you might die. And it

0:27:01.600 --> 0:27:05.280
<v Speaker 4>almost made me scared of him, like like I was

0:27:05.320 --> 0:27:07.879
<v Speaker 4>scared of his weakness. And I also think other people

0:27:07.920 --> 0:27:11.200
<v Speaker 4>were were a little bit too, because we always It's

0:27:11.240 --> 0:27:13.320
<v Speaker 4>like when people talked about him, they always said like,

0:27:13.760 --> 0:27:15.960
<v Speaker 4>look how strong he is it, look how big and

0:27:16.040 --> 0:27:19.399
<v Speaker 4>tough he is, And it was almost like are we

0:27:19.480 --> 0:27:24.040
<v Speaker 4>saying this? Because to love him being weak, it's like,

0:27:24.080 --> 0:27:26.600
<v Speaker 4>can we not love him as a weak baby? Like, yeah,

0:27:26.800 --> 0:27:28.600
<v Speaker 4>he has to show how strong he is in every

0:27:28.640 --> 0:27:33.760
<v Speaker 4>other way, do you know what I mean? And I like, yeah, exactly.

0:27:33.480 --> 0:27:36.399
<v Speaker 1>For you to be like, well, it's like everything's okay,

0:27:36.440 --> 0:27:37.960
<v Speaker 1>and it's like it's not.

0:27:39.680 --> 0:27:42.040
<v Speaker 4>And even like when he was recovering from the open

0:27:42.119 --> 0:27:45.879
<v Speaker 4>heart surgery, he didn't recover as quickly as they had predicted.

0:27:46.000 --> 0:27:50.040
<v Speaker 4>He actually caught COVID somehow during operation or just after,

0:27:50.200 --> 0:27:54.320
<v Speaker 4>and yeah, so he was under sedation for longer and

0:27:54.520 --> 0:27:57.800
<v Speaker 4>it was a scary time, but the doctors and the

0:27:57.880 --> 0:28:01.640
<v Speaker 4>nurses were like, it's okay, he's recovered ring Like he's

0:28:01.680 --> 0:28:04.159
<v Speaker 4>taking his time, and he's recovering at the pace he

0:28:04.240 --> 0:28:08.080
<v Speaker 4>needs to. He doesn't have to recover perfectly, you know, and.

0:28:08.000 --> 0:28:11.400
<v Speaker 3>Like everyone recovers from yeah, and that includes a five

0:28:11.440 --> 0:28:12.600
<v Speaker 3>month old baby totally.

0:28:12.640 --> 0:28:14.600
<v Speaker 4>And I think, yeah, we had had this whole narrative

0:28:14.640 --> 0:28:16.280
<v Speaker 4>of like, oh, he's so tough, he's going to kick

0:28:16.320 --> 0:28:19.520
<v Speaker 4>surgery and the balls, and like it's actually like it's

0:28:19.520 --> 0:28:24.639
<v Speaker 4>actually okay that he didn't and he's still lovable. So yeah,

0:28:24.720 --> 0:28:28.480
<v Speaker 4>it was a very tough time. Like I was it

0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:30.560
<v Speaker 4>was weird because yeah, in so many ways I had

0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:32.760
<v Speaker 4>a you know, he was a normal baby, and but

0:28:33.119 --> 0:28:35.399
<v Speaker 4>I just could not enjoy it in the same way.

0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:38.400
<v Speaker 4>And I like, really, it feels like life has started now.

0:28:38.800 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 3>Yes, so the lead up to the surgery, not knowing

0:28:41.960 --> 0:28:43.480
<v Speaker 3>when it's going to happen, I suppose they.

0:28:43.400 --> 0:28:46.400
<v Speaker 4>Said yes, but then we did lock it in. Okay,

0:28:46.680 --> 0:28:49.560
<v Speaker 4>So after that hospital stay that the surgeon was like,

0:28:49.640 --> 0:28:52.200
<v Speaker 4>let's just lock it in. We'll do it. And the

0:28:52.280 --> 0:28:55.000
<v Speaker 4>lead up is just I mean, I lost my mind.

0:28:55.080 --> 0:28:59.800
<v Speaker 4>I was just like I would walk around crying, weeping

0:28:59.840 --> 0:29:03.160
<v Speaker 4>in public, like I don't know you, I just it

0:29:03.240 --> 0:29:07.800
<v Speaker 4>was just so sad. So I'm going to cry. It's

0:29:07.840 --> 0:29:10.920
<v Speaker 4>so funny that I was talking about being having come

0:29:13.160 --> 0:29:16.080
<v Speaker 4>but yeah, it's it's like a it's oh my god,

0:29:16.120 --> 0:29:22.280
<v Speaker 4>it's embarrassing. I mean, yeah, obviously it's a sad topic.

0:29:22.480 --> 0:29:26.640
<v Speaker 4>But he's really good now, Like he's really he's really strong.

0:29:27.720 --> 0:29:28.760
<v Speaker 4>He's actually already.

0:29:28.520 --> 0:29:37.840
<v Speaker 3>Lifting other than you waiting for surgery or is it normal?

0:29:37.880 --> 0:29:39.520
<v Speaker 1>Like everything is well?

0:29:39.520 --> 0:29:41.480
<v Speaker 4>They tell me, like they they're like, yeah, he can

0:29:41.520 --> 0:29:43.800
<v Speaker 4>do everything. He needs to check up every year for

0:29:43.840 --> 0:29:47.400
<v Speaker 4>the rest of his life and he will need when

0:29:47.400 --> 0:29:49.960
<v Speaker 4>he's older, like when he goes through puberty, they will

0:29:49.960 --> 0:29:52.560
<v Speaker 4>need to put another valve in. That's the main thing.

0:29:52.640 --> 0:29:55.400
<v Speaker 4>But the surgeon seems to think that they won't have

0:29:55.440 --> 0:29:57.280
<v Speaker 4>to do open heart again, that they can do most

0:29:57.320 --> 0:30:01.840
<v Speaker 4>of these things via catheter. So I'll always worry, like

0:30:01.880 --> 0:30:05.440
<v Speaker 4>I'll just always freak out. And he's so active and

0:30:05.480 --> 0:30:10.400
<v Speaker 4>sometimes I'm like, just chill, chill. Yeah, i just want

0:30:10.480 --> 0:30:12.840
<v Speaker 4>him to be a ballet dancer or something. I wanted

0:30:12.840 --> 0:30:15.920
<v Speaker 4>to be athletic, but like not contact sport. Yeah, And

0:30:15.960 --> 0:30:18.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm just scared that he was going to want to

0:30:18.720 --> 0:30:21.440
<v Speaker 4>play rugby. And because there's a fame that you do know,

0:30:21.480 --> 0:30:24.800
<v Speaker 4>Sean White, the Olympic snowboarder, he has tetralogy A fellow

0:30:25.000 --> 0:30:28.080
<v Speaker 4>really yeah, so he needed like three open heart surgeries.

0:30:27.640 --> 0:30:30.440
<v Speaker 2>Before the age of five, flying in the air like

0:30:30.680 --> 0:30:32.000
<v Speaker 2>twenty feet out of our heart.

0:30:32.800 --> 0:30:36.600
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. And like he you know, did football and like

0:30:37.480 --> 0:30:41.080
<v Speaker 4>they can definitely do apparently whatever other kid does.

0:30:42.040 --> 0:30:45.920
<v Speaker 2>I will not tell George that George reading.

0:30:46.360 --> 0:30:48.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm like, You're going to just live with mummy,

0:30:50.840 --> 0:30:51.960
<v Speaker 4>Like you.

0:30:51.880 --> 0:30:53.960
<v Speaker 2>Know, when you go through that traumatic experience as a

0:30:54.040 --> 0:30:56.040
<v Speaker 2>parent and you come out the other end. And we

0:30:56.080 --> 0:30:59.360
<v Speaker 2>spoke before about the fact that parenting is amazing, but

0:30:59.520 --> 0:31:02.600
<v Speaker 2>those are moments are matched with moments where it's exhausting,

0:31:02.600 --> 0:31:06.760
<v Speaker 2>it's relentless, it's so bloody hard. Do you ever get

0:31:07.360 --> 0:31:08.760
<v Speaker 2>guilt your life?

0:31:10.760 --> 0:31:10.960
<v Speaker 4>You know?

0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:12.360
<v Speaker 2>I thought I might lose you.

0:31:12.480 --> 0:31:16.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and you're pissing me on Yeah, yeah, totally. And

0:31:16.720 --> 0:31:19.520
<v Speaker 4>then and then that's even harder because I'm like, I'm

0:31:19.520 --> 0:31:23.280
<v Speaker 4>not even allowed to have the normal experience of being

0:31:23.280 --> 0:31:25.560
<v Speaker 4>pissed off at your kids. Yeah, it does feel like

0:31:25.600 --> 0:31:29.680
<v Speaker 4>I was it almost the different ways in which I

0:31:29.800 --> 0:31:34.400
<v Speaker 4>feel I've been robbed emerge like I don't even I

0:31:34.400 --> 0:31:37.720
<v Speaker 4>wasn't even prepared, Like he's he's not a great sleeper,

0:31:38.640 --> 0:31:41.000
<v Speaker 4>but only because we are. You know, for the first

0:31:41.200 --> 0:31:43.240
<v Speaker 4>six months of his life, they said, don't let him

0:31:43.280 --> 0:31:46.840
<v Speaker 4>cry too much because he might go blue and lose oxygen.

0:31:46.960 --> 0:31:48.920
<v Speaker 4>And then he has his heart fixed, and they're like, yep,

0:31:48.920 --> 0:31:51.680
<v Speaker 4>he's good. His heart's like fixed. You can let him

0:31:51.680 --> 0:31:54.400
<v Speaker 4>scream his head off, but that's a very hard thing

0:31:54.480 --> 0:31:55.120
<v Speaker 4>for us to do.

0:31:55.160 --> 0:31:56.320
<v Speaker 2>We don't want to do that.

0:31:57.760 --> 0:32:01.360
<v Speaker 4>So because of that, he just runs rings around us,

0:32:01.440 --> 0:32:05.720
<v Speaker 4>like we just do whatever he wants, like yeah, which

0:32:06.040 --> 0:32:08.360
<v Speaker 4>you know, probably isn't good for him. Like, I know

0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:12.240
<v Speaker 4>that I need to teach him to sleep, and that

0:32:12.280 --> 0:32:15.080
<v Speaker 4>will require me like dealing with my own anxiety around

0:32:15.120 --> 0:32:19.320
<v Speaker 4>his health for his own sake. But that's just really

0:32:19.320 --> 0:32:22.640
<v Speaker 4>hard to do. And yeah, I just feel angry sometimes

0:32:22.680 --> 0:32:27.640
<v Speaker 4>that I can't even do I can't do that, Like,

0:32:28.520 --> 0:32:29.080
<v Speaker 4>but yeah, I.

0:32:29.080 --> 0:32:31.120
<v Speaker 1>Don't know what does a sleep team look like for

0:32:31.160 --> 0:32:31.440
<v Speaker 1>you guys?

0:32:31.640 --> 0:32:35.080
<v Speaker 4>Well, just he does what he wants. We kind of

0:32:35.120 --> 0:32:39.400
<v Speaker 4>cater to that, and no, we tried to. You know,

0:32:39.520 --> 0:32:44.280
<v Speaker 4>he has his stories and his toys and stuff. We're

0:32:44.640 --> 0:32:48.840
<v Speaker 4>slowly getting him to learn to fall asleep without the boob.

0:32:48.880 --> 0:32:53.280
<v Speaker 4>But I fed to sleep just for every Yeah, it's easy,

0:32:53.360 --> 0:32:55.400
<v Speaker 4>and you know, I'm like, he's been through so much,

0:32:55.520 --> 0:32:58.280
<v Speaker 4>Like I'll give him some titty, Yeah, given the boob

0:32:58.840 --> 0:33:00.880
<v Speaker 4>when they love it, it's like who am I to

0:33:00.920 --> 0:33:03.480
<v Speaker 4>take it from him? And you can always find someone

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:04.320
<v Speaker 4>to justify it.

0:33:04.480 --> 0:33:07.920
<v Speaker 2>But I think every parent. We have another friend who's

0:33:07.920 --> 0:33:11.080
<v Speaker 2>got a baby that doesn't sleep, and the dad is like,

0:33:11.200 --> 0:33:14.120
<v Speaker 2>I just can't if the baby's sleeping, Like I've just

0:33:14.160 --> 0:33:16.240
<v Speaker 2>got to go in there, and you know that you're

0:33:16.280 --> 0:33:20.280
<v Speaker 2>doing a disservice to the baby. But You're like, we

0:33:20.360 --> 0:33:23.360
<v Speaker 2>used to rock Marley to sleep every single nap she

0:33:23.440 --> 0:33:25.840
<v Speaker 2>had and then transition into a car like we were.

0:33:26.560 --> 0:33:29.080
<v Speaker 2>We gave her like a life of pure luxury and

0:33:29.120 --> 0:33:30.360
<v Speaker 2>so then when it was time for her to like

0:33:30.400 --> 0:33:34.440
<v Speaker 2>fend for herself, she was like, yeah, you've You've held

0:33:34.440 --> 0:33:35.600
<v Speaker 2>my hand every step of the way, and now you

0:33:35.680 --> 0:33:36.200
<v Speaker 2>can let go.

0:33:36.880 --> 0:33:39.640
<v Speaker 1>Transition is like it's like handling an explosive.

0:33:39.720 --> 0:33:44.320
<v Speaker 4>You're like, and you start hating any sound like yeah,

0:33:44.400 --> 0:33:46.520
<v Speaker 4>the I'm like, if I had a gone, I would

0:33:46.560 --> 0:33:53.640
<v Speaker 4>have shot a bunch of dogs, like or like someone's

0:33:53.680 --> 0:33:56.280
<v Speaker 4>doing repairs in the building. I'm like, oh, you're you're

0:33:56.360 --> 0:34:01.000
<v Speaker 4>plumbing just had to be fixed.

0:34:00.200 --> 0:34:03.160
<v Speaker 3>Like my daughter, or like maybe my daughter was having

0:34:03.200 --> 0:34:06.080
<v Speaker 3>a nap and it would be like the neighbor hated this.

0:34:06.160 --> 0:34:09.080
<v Speaker 1>I reckon. She just drilled on purpose. I get a call,

0:34:09.840 --> 0:34:10.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to go over there.

0:34:10.840 --> 0:34:15.920
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, go on, Yeah, I was like, it gets

0:34:15.960 --> 0:34:18.759
<v Speaker 4>so psycho. I was laughing the other day. I mean,

0:34:18.800 --> 0:34:21.400
<v Speaker 4>I'm still in it. Like but with my family. We

0:34:21.480 --> 0:34:24.680
<v Speaker 4>went to visit my family over Christmas and I was

0:34:24.719 --> 0:34:27.880
<v Speaker 4>inside having a nap with George, just got him to sleep.

0:34:27.920 --> 0:34:29.920
<v Speaker 4>He was in a really good nap, and there was

0:34:29.960 --> 0:34:33.120
<v Speaker 4>a freak do you know what a whirlyworli is? It

0:34:33.200 --> 0:34:37.160
<v Speaker 4>was like a mini tornado. Yeah, a freak whirly whirly

0:34:37.280 --> 0:34:46.560
<v Speaker 4>whipped through my parents seriously, and it lifted all the

0:34:46.640 --> 0:34:49.840
<v Speaker 4>lawn furniture in the air and a big umbrella and

0:34:49.880 --> 0:34:56.719
<v Speaker 4>my stepmom tried to grab it and she got all lifted. Seriously,

0:34:57.080 --> 0:35:00.239
<v Speaker 4>she nearly died. Everyone's screaming and I'm in the room

0:35:00.239 --> 0:35:02.560
<v Speaker 4>and I come out and I'm like, he just got

0:35:02.640 --> 0:35:03.200
<v Speaker 4>to sleep.

0:35:06.320 --> 0:35:17.279
<v Speaker 7>So's it's funny how like psychotic you get, like because

0:35:17.520 --> 0:35:18.520
<v Speaker 7>I know that, like.

0:35:19.360 --> 0:35:23.319
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that it's so precious, especially like a nap. The

0:35:23.440 --> 0:35:25.239
<v Speaker 3>naps in the day sets you up for what your

0:35:25.320 --> 0:35:27.120
<v Speaker 3>night's going to fucking you think.

0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:30.200
<v Speaker 4>It does, and it's like does it? It does, and

0:35:30.239 --> 0:35:34.359
<v Speaker 4>you're like, we have to get on the schedule again, and.

0:35:34.280 --> 0:35:35.760
<v Speaker 1>Then there's just like one noise.

0:35:35.800 --> 0:35:40.080
<v Speaker 4>He's like, for god, I know, yeah, And you have

0:35:40.160 --> 0:35:42.319
<v Speaker 4>no control over anything that you think if you can

0:35:42.320 --> 0:35:45.040
<v Speaker 4>control nap time and weak windows and stuff.

0:35:45.080 --> 0:35:48.080
<v Speaker 3>But my parents were over the other day and both

0:35:48.200 --> 0:35:51.040
<v Speaker 3>kids have been like didn't up all day. It was

0:35:51.080 --> 0:35:53.000
<v Speaker 3>like a really big day for them. My parents came

0:35:53.080 --> 0:35:55.440
<v Speaker 3>in the late afternoon. So they're excited again because my

0:35:55.520 --> 0:35:57.680
<v Speaker 3>parents are there, and then they go after sleep. My

0:35:57.760 --> 0:36:01.200
<v Speaker 3>dad's such a gone death, I reckon, so allowed to Yeah,

0:36:01.400 --> 0:36:02.480
<v Speaker 3>every five minutes, I'm like.

0:36:02.480 --> 0:36:06.520
<v Speaker 1>Shut and he's like, we here to visit you. I'm like,

0:36:06.960 --> 0:36:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I wish I did it. Now they're away again.

0:36:11.800 --> 0:36:15.520
<v Speaker 4>It's like they punish you, the parents, like they like

0:36:15.600 --> 0:36:16.760
<v Speaker 4>seeing us in turmoil.

0:36:17.080 --> 0:36:19.439
<v Speaker 1>Oh for sure, for sure. I mean they're like, we've

0:36:19.440 --> 0:36:20.160
<v Speaker 1>done it, now.

0:36:20.080 --> 0:36:22.719
<v Speaker 4>You've got it, and they think we're insane, Like I

0:36:22.719 --> 0:36:25.600
<v Speaker 4>think they just put us down when we were tired

0:36:26.120 --> 0:36:28.719
<v Speaker 4>and they just didn't follow all this stuff, or as

0:36:28.760 --> 0:36:31.840
<v Speaker 4>we're like, we actually need five hours before bedtime in

0:36:31.920 --> 0:36:32.640
<v Speaker 4>order to get the sleep.

0:36:32.680 --> 0:36:37.480
<v Speaker 1>Pressure to see everyone thinks sleep, everyone think about being

0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:38.640
<v Speaker 1>and then.

0:36:40.239 --> 0:36:42.880
<v Speaker 2>They're looking at Chris and being like, wow, he's such

0:36:42.920 --> 0:36:45.399
<v Speaker 2>a great father, he's so hands on.

0:36:47.080 --> 0:36:49.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I guess so, I think there's a bit of

0:36:49.560 --> 0:36:53.040
<v Speaker 4>that reluctant. I don't know what they're thinking. I think

0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:56.120
<v Speaker 4>I think I'm such a psycho that they're mostly focused

0:36:56.120 --> 0:37:03.600
<v Speaker 4>on I'm still mental. I reckon, if you can't.

0:37:03.520 --> 0:37:03.840
<v Speaker 1>Tell you.

0:37:05.640 --> 0:37:08.720
<v Speaker 4>I haven't picked up, just come out of the jungle.

0:37:08.760 --> 0:37:12.560
<v Speaker 4>So you do.

0:37:12.640 --> 0:37:16.319
<v Speaker 3>You think I'm coming off the back of April being

0:37:16.400 --> 0:37:20.000
<v Speaker 3>mental for so many years and it's completely I feel like,

0:37:20.040 --> 0:37:23.399
<v Speaker 3>it's so it's so normal to be like, we're all

0:37:23.600 --> 0:37:26.520
<v Speaker 3>so hyper sensitive in that moment, your way, in the

0:37:26.920 --> 0:37:29.400
<v Speaker 3>absolute thick of it has got nothing on that you

0:37:29.440 --> 0:37:30.360
<v Speaker 3>remember that you're.

0:37:30.200 --> 0:37:36.040
<v Speaker 2>Like people, people who are in the first years amazing, amazing,

0:37:36.120 --> 0:37:37.600
<v Speaker 2>But there was also the.

0:37:37.560 --> 0:37:40.960
<v Speaker 3>Hell it's like we also we joke a lot. Is

0:37:41.120 --> 0:37:43.960
<v Speaker 3>like I don't remember, we don't remember. You forget all

0:37:44.400 --> 0:37:47.680
<v Speaker 3>about this until you have another one, and then you

0:37:47.719 --> 0:37:49.240
<v Speaker 3>forget all about it all over again.

0:37:49.600 --> 0:37:53.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean. And also it's like, but I love it,

0:37:53.400 --> 0:37:56.399
<v Speaker 4>like I'm in hell, but I love it. And it's

0:37:56.680 --> 0:37:57.239
<v Speaker 4>hard to.

0:37:57.200 --> 0:38:01.799
<v Speaker 2>Explain that you have produced is like trying to understand

0:38:03.960 --> 0:38:09.399
<v Speaker 2>it doesn't no parents when you're like, it's hell, but

0:38:09.440 --> 0:38:12.160
<v Speaker 2>I've like, but I'm I've acclimatized to it. Yeah, I'm

0:38:12.239 --> 0:38:13.800
<v Speaker 2>used to it, and I've got a comfy seat.

0:38:14.200 --> 0:38:17.360
<v Speaker 3>It becomes you're like, it becomes like your whole hobby,

0:38:17.480 --> 0:38:21.320
<v Speaker 3>your whole life. You'rely and this I actually don't can't

0:38:21.360 --> 0:38:23.360
<v Speaker 3>see it any other way anymore.

0:38:22.920 --> 0:38:26.759
<v Speaker 4>I know, And I feel like it's a like you

0:38:26.760 --> 0:38:30.240
<v Speaker 4>you're passing on. Like not having kids for me felt

0:38:30.239 --> 0:38:33.560
<v Speaker 4>a bit like refusing to have your turn in tiggy,

0:38:34.920 --> 0:38:38.920
<v Speaker 4>you know, like the kids, yeah are actually like I'm like,

0:38:39.480 --> 0:38:42.279
<v Speaker 4>I've come down an ancestral line of like, you know,

0:38:42.320 --> 0:38:44.160
<v Speaker 4>I've got a pretty interesting family, like we all do.

0:38:44.320 --> 0:38:48.239
<v Speaker 4>But like my dad's family, his mum was Aboriginal, his

0:38:48.400 --> 0:38:53.359
<v Speaker 4>dad was Russian. You know, it's just hectic. And it's

0:38:53.440 --> 0:38:56.560
<v Speaker 4>just like women for so long have just been like

0:38:57.040 --> 0:39:02.600
<v Speaker 4>squatting out kids in absurd circumstances, so difficult, and it's

0:39:02.640 --> 0:39:04.680
<v Speaker 4>just so funny for me to be in like bed

0:39:05.120 --> 0:39:07.879
<v Speaker 4>ordering uber eats, like no, I don't think I can

0:39:07.960 --> 0:39:08.239
<v Speaker 4>do it.

0:39:08.640 --> 0:39:12.359
<v Speaker 1>Strategy like don't knock, don't look me in the eyes.

0:39:12.880 --> 0:39:15.600
<v Speaker 3>Like my my grandfather's indigenous and he was one of fourteen.

0:39:15.800 --> 0:39:20.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah fuck did his mum do fourteen? And we've got

0:39:20.239 --> 0:39:22.000
<v Speaker 1>like two and we're like, don't wake them up?

0:39:22.160 --> 0:39:25.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah exactly. And it just felt like it like it's

0:39:25.239 --> 0:39:28.680
<v Speaker 4>my turn and I just had to do it.

0:39:28.920 --> 0:39:32.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, how are you finding doing it in

0:39:32.080 --> 0:39:33.080
<v Speaker 2>regards to work.

0:39:33.880 --> 0:39:36.440
<v Speaker 4>It's in some ways it's really good because I used

0:39:36.440 --> 0:39:39.879
<v Speaker 4>to be so neurotic about putting you know, like I'm

0:39:39.880 --> 0:39:42.200
<v Speaker 4>going to try this new joke and I get really

0:39:42.239 --> 0:39:44.080
<v Speaker 4>doubt if it didn't work or whatever, and now it's

0:39:44.120 --> 0:39:46.640
<v Speaker 4>like fuck it. Like I'm quite free of mind. Like

0:39:47.040 --> 0:39:51.279
<v Speaker 4>I go, I'm doing bedtime, dinner time, it's bath and

0:39:51.320 --> 0:39:53.040
<v Speaker 4>then I have to get in a like uber and

0:39:53.120 --> 0:39:55.279
<v Speaker 4>go to a gig and I just have to try it.

0:39:55.400 --> 0:39:57.960
<v Speaker 4>And I think that kind of I don't give a

0:39:57.960 --> 0:39:59.800
<v Speaker 4>fuck attitude is like helpful.

0:40:00.280 --> 0:40:02.959
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, as your material change them, it.

0:40:02.920 --> 0:40:05.040
<v Speaker 4>Has Yeah, but then you also have a lot of

0:40:05.080 --> 0:40:07.440
<v Speaker 4>time to think about stuff like I'm lying there with

0:40:07.520 --> 0:40:10.239
<v Speaker 4>this during nap time, and you have like time to

0:40:10.320 --> 0:40:13.760
<v Speaker 4>be a bit you know, I can write, Yeah.

0:40:13.640 --> 0:40:16.520
<v Speaker 3>The things that you didn't maybe, like you might just

0:40:16.560 --> 0:40:18.520
<v Speaker 3>be walking down the street with your baby and you're

0:40:18.560 --> 0:40:20.680
<v Speaker 3>like okay, and then you get home and you're like, okay,

0:40:20.680 --> 0:40:23.359
<v Speaker 3>I'm waiting for the baby to wake up. Way, I'm

0:40:23.400 --> 0:40:25.280
<v Speaker 3>observing things that happened different now.

0:40:25.719 --> 0:40:30.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, And you're also just rooted in, you know, humanity

0:40:30.120 --> 0:40:32.600
<v Speaker 4>a bit more Like when I talk to Uber drivers now,

0:40:32.600 --> 0:40:34.680
<v Speaker 4>it's like we're both like I love my kids. It's

0:40:34.719 --> 0:40:37.200
<v Speaker 4>like I fucking love my kid, and it's like you're

0:40:37.400 --> 0:40:39.600
<v Speaker 4>all the other day was at the airport in Coffs

0:40:39.600 --> 0:40:41.759
<v Speaker 4>Harbor and I saw this mom and it was so

0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:44.880
<v Speaker 4>cute her little her girl was coming to Sydney and

0:40:44.920 --> 0:40:47.440
<v Speaker 4>she had her little Sydney outfit on, like oh you know,

0:40:47.600 --> 0:40:49.719
<v Speaker 4>little Ara and William's boots and she.

0:40:49.760 --> 0:40:51.640
<v Speaker 1>Had a little backpack Sydney.

0:40:51.800 --> 0:40:55.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's just so excited and the mom, you know,

0:40:55.960 --> 0:40:58.400
<v Speaker 4>you could see her saying goodbye to her and it's like, oh,

0:40:58.920 --> 0:41:00.920
<v Speaker 4>you know. And I really felt that, like, oh my god,

0:41:00.920 --> 0:41:02.759
<v Speaker 4>they grow up and then they leave and I just

0:41:02.880 --> 0:41:06.000
<v Speaker 4>might not have ever observed that before and understood. It's

0:41:06.000 --> 0:41:09.520
<v Speaker 4>like you you see what roots people to or like

0:41:09.840 --> 0:41:12.319
<v Speaker 4>binds them to the earth, like why they work, why

0:41:12.320 --> 0:41:13.600
<v Speaker 4>they do these things, like.

0:41:13.800 --> 0:41:15.320
<v Speaker 2>You do it no greater purpose?

0:41:15.520 --> 0:41:18.760
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and you just love and it's fun to show

0:41:19.719 --> 0:41:22.440
<v Speaker 4>a new human being how to enjoy the world. Like

0:41:22.520 --> 0:41:26.920
<v Speaker 4>I just think about my son's the experiences he gets

0:41:26.960 --> 0:41:30.759
<v Speaker 4>will will have in his life, like just even I

0:41:30.760 --> 0:41:33.760
<v Speaker 4>don't know, waking up on a nice morning and smelling

0:41:33.800 --> 0:41:36.600
<v Speaker 4>like a nice smell, and I think about him doing that.

0:41:36.640 --> 0:41:37.799
<v Speaker 4>It makes me happy.

0:41:39.560 --> 0:41:40.959
<v Speaker 1>The first Yeah, just.

0:41:41.120 --> 0:41:43.560
<v Speaker 3>New things like trying to get on their level too,

0:41:43.640 --> 0:41:46.400
<v Speaker 3>with seeing something for the first time, like when as

0:41:46.440 --> 0:41:51.240
<v Speaker 3>adults when I'm like, fucking look that you imagine.

0:41:50.840 --> 0:41:56.160
<v Speaker 4>Like everything everything dropping acid all day and then we're

0:41:56.200 --> 0:41:58.440
<v Speaker 4>like go to sleep, go to sleep where.

0:42:00.120 --> 0:42:02.880
<v Speaker 1>I just want to rainbow. You just tell me a

0:42:02.920 --> 0:42:03.720
<v Speaker 1>fucking rainbow.

0:42:03.800 --> 0:42:04.960
<v Speaker 2>You like, go to sleep now.

0:42:07.520 --> 0:42:07.840
<v Speaker 4>Anything?

0:42:08.000 --> 0:42:08.280
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:42:08.960 --> 0:42:12.400
<v Speaker 2>Is it hard to work at the same pace, like

0:42:12.400 --> 0:42:15.080
<v Speaker 2>at the moment I laid fringes on, Yeah, speaking to

0:42:15.120 --> 0:42:19.040
<v Speaker 2>other comedians and they'll do like consecutive shows like ten, fifteen,

0:42:19.120 --> 0:42:20.200
<v Speaker 2>twenty shows back to back.

0:42:20.280 --> 0:42:22.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and you're probably talking to the men doing it

0:42:22.160 --> 0:42:25.239
<v Speaker 4>as well, which is very different. Like I don't actually

0:42:25.400 --> 0:42:27.319
<v Speaker 4>not to be like I'm the only because I'm not.

0:42:27.440 --> 0:42:31.200
<v Speaker 4>But I don't know many women who've I'm still breastfeeding

0:42:31.239 --> 0:42:33.839
<v Speaker 4>and stuff. I don't really know women who've gone back

0:42:33.880 --> 0:42:36.960
<v Speaker 4>to it in this way. And I'm actually a bit nervous,

0:42:37.080 --> 0:42:39.879
<v Speaker 4>to be honest, Like I'm excited to do the show

0:42:39.920 --> 0:42:42.560
<v Speaker 4>and I hope that it's good and people like it,

0:42:42.640 --> 0:42:47.520
<v Speaker 4>but I'm really scared to do it. Then you can't

0:42:48.880 --> 0:42:51.160
<v Speaker 4>like when I've done Adelaide and Melbourne. You know, you

0:42:51.200 --> 0:42:52.560
<v Speaker 4>do your show and then you go home and you

0:42:52.560 --> 0:42:54.279
<v Speaker 4>think about what worked and didn't work, and you can

0:42:54.360 --> 0:42:57.440
<v Speaker 4>really like put that time into it and I just can't.

0:42:58.000 --> 0:43:00.520
<v Speaker 4>I mean I can. I'll have to find ways to

0:43:00.560 --> 0:43:03.319
<v Speaker 4>do that to keep my little human alive exactly. It's

0:43:03.400 --> 0:43:05.359
<v Speaker 4>just that there will be balancing and.

0:43:05.280 --> 0:43:08.160
<v Speaker 1>I hope that's okay, you'll take him.

0:43:08.440 --> 0:43:10.719
<v Speaker 4>Yeah. So luckily Chris has been able to take time

0:43:10.760 --> 0:43:12.640
<v Speaker 4>off work so I can tour and stuff.

0:43:13.160 --> 0:43:14.840
<v Speaker 1>Wow, OK, yeah cool.

0:43:15.560 --> 0:43:18.399
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I know. Crazily I'm the bread winner and I'm

0:43:18.400 --> 0:43:23.440
<v Speaker 4>a comedian. It's like not, it's not normal. I remember

0:43:23.480 --> 0:43:28.400
<v Speaker 4>when I realized I needed money to It's a really

0:43:28.440 --> 0:43:33.080
<v Speaker 4>crazy but I realized. I was at the Now salon

0:43:33.160 --> 0:43:36.879
<v Speaker 4>and this rich woman was talking to me and I said, oh, yeah,

0:43:36.880 --> 0:43:39.360
<v Speaker 4>I'm thinking about having a baby. We started talking and

0:43:39.880 --> 0:43:42.359
<v Speaker 4>she said, oh, what do you do? And I said

0:43:42.400 --> 0:43:48.239
<v Speaker 4>I'm a comedian and she went and she said what

0:43:48.280 --> 0:43:50.640
<v Speaker 4>does your partner do? And I said he's a social worker,

0:43:50.680 --> 0:43:55.560
<v Speaker 4>and she went like she could not hide her disdain.

0:43:58.440 --> 0:44:01.920
<v Speaker 2>You're working in like I don't know, as an avatar

0:44:02.160 --> 0:44:05.200
<v Speaker 2>or like killing animals entertain people.

0:44:07.840 --> 0:44:11.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, an avatar at least has a regular paycheck.

0:44:13.000 --> 0:44:14.640
<v Speaker 1>You're a frustration a dead animal.

0:44:15.640 --> 0:44:17.840
<v Speaker 2>I think the work is admirable.

0:44:19.040 --> 0:44:19.720
<v Speaker 1>On your side.

0:44:20.320 --> 0:44:22.560
<v Speaker 4>I don't think she meant it was not admirable. I

0:44:22.560 --> 0:44:24.360
<v Speaker 4>think she was just like, what are you going to

0:44:24.400 --> 0:44:27.040
<v Speaker 4>do for money? You have a it's not a real

0:44:27.320 --> 0:44:28.799
<v Speaker 4>thing to do. And she's not wrong.

0:44:29.800 --> 0:44:32.479
<v Speaker 2>You're proving her, proving her wrong.

0:44:32.600 --> 0:44:35.000
<v Speaker 4>That's true. That's true. I have done well And if

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:37.040
<v Speaker 4>people just want to keep buying tickets, that would be

0:44:37.120 --> 0:44:37.520
<v Speaker 4>really good.

0:44:38.480 --> 0:44:40.040
<v Speaker 2>Put some information in the show notes.

0:44:40.239 --> 0:44:41.799
<v Speaker 4>Definitely, Yeah, please.

0:44:43.680 --> 0:44:47.000
<v Speaker 2>Or two questions. Okay, I know that it's still early days,

0:44:47.040 --> 0:44:49.359
<v Speaker 2>like you're still with a newborn, so maybe way too

0:44:49.360 --> 0:44:53.120
<v Speaker 2>premature to ask this question, but will you go a second? Yeah?

0:44:53.160 --> 0:44:55.400
<v Speaker 4>I would love to. I feel like it would be

0:44:55.520 --> 0:44:59.000
<v Speaker 4>very healing to go through the process and hopefully not

0:44:59.120 --> 0:45:02.759
<v Speaker 4>have something go, you know, the health thing or fucked

0:45:02.800 --> 0:45:05.640
<v Speaker 4>if it happens again. It's not a gen anything, it's

0:45:05.640 --> 0:45:09.759
<v Speaker 4>just a freak accident. But I would love to. I

0:45:09.840 --> 0:45:12.200
<v Speaker 4>just don't know how. We don't have family in town.

0:45:12.640 --> 0:45:14.719
<v Speaker 4>It feels like we're just handballing him back and forth.

0:45:14.760 --> 0:45:17.279
<v Speaker 4>We haven't nanny once a week. Day Care could be

0:45:17.280 --> 0:45:19.880
<v Speaker 4>life changing, and it is. I used to be like

0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:22.000
<v Speaker 4>no daycare, and now I'm like, what about daycare?

0:45:22.880 --> 0:45:25.040
<v Speaker 1>Honestly, I think like I think we waited.

0:45:25.080 --> 0:45:29.520
<v Speaker 2>We waited till Marley was like definitely beyond twelve months. Yeah,

0:45:29.600 --> 0:45:30.880
<v Speaker 2>we put her in for a couple of days a

0:45:30.920 --> 0:45:33.359
<v Speaker 2>week and we just, yeah, you.

0:45:33.320 --> 0:45:33.960
<v Speaker 1>Don't know yourself.

0:45:34.080 --> 0:45:36.319
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm thinking eighteen months two days a week.

0:45:37.320 --> 0:45:38.319
<v Speaker 2>We change.

0:45:38.440 --> 0:45:39.080
<v Speaker 1>We forget that.

0:45:39.160 --> 0:45:42.400
<v Speaker 3>It's like the stimulation that they get to like it

0:45:42.800 --> 0:45:45.560
<v Speaker 3>might be like feel like I'm just off boarding.

0:45:45.600 --> 0:45:48.200
<v Speaker 1>It's to someone else, but they have so much.

0:45:48.480 --> 0:45:51.720
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, new toys, and he does come alive with other people,

0:45:51.719 --> 0:45:54.239
<v Speaker 4>like he gets bored of me and then loves. He'll

0:45:54.280 --> 0:45:56.560
<v Speaker 4>be grizzly and then we go out and he's like weaving.

0:45:56.239 --> 0:45:59.759
<v Speaker 1>And everyone and then just do so much with Yeah.

0:46:00.080 --> 0:46:02.120
<v Speaker 1>It's you know, and there's other kids doing the same ship.

0:46:02.239 --> 0:46:07.640
<v Speaker 2>So I think I am thinking the waiting lists in

0:46:07.680 --> 0:46:08.720
<v Speaker 2>Sydney are pretty extreme.

0:46:08.760 --> 0:46:10.080
<v Speaker 1>So we're just going to add to totally.

0:46:10.760 --> 0:46:13.680
<v Speaker 4>I should I think once I have a little and

0:46:13.760 --> 0:46:15.520
<v Speaker 4>you know, once he gets at the moment, we're just

0:46:15.560 --> 0:46:18.880
<v Speaker 4>still definitely in the trenches of like totally it's just

0:46:18.960 --> 0:46:20.360
<v Speaker 4>physically hard.

0:46:20.440 --> 0:46:24.879
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but you mentioned we handball, Yeah, and it's every

0:46:24.880 --> 0:46:27.759
<v Speaker 3>couples doing the same thing. We're like, you know, like

0:46:28.040 --> 0:46:31.600
<v Speaker 3>you taking for now and get some rare a lot

0:46:31.600 --> 0:46:33.440
<v Speaker 3>of families going through all that. But when you when

0:46:33.480 --> 0:46:35.120
<v Speaker 3>you have two, it does become a bit more difficult.

0:46:35.120 --> 0:46:37.960
<v Speaker 3>But then they sort of go together.

0:46:37.760 --> 0:46:41.640
<v Speaker 4>I know, and you kind of need you need. You

0:46:41.640 --> 0:46:44.959
<v Speaker 4>can't play a ball game without four people. You kind

0:46:45.000 --> 0:46:48.360
<v Speaker 4>of need two kids, two adults for family holidays.

0:46:48.640 --> 0:46:50.600
<v Speaker 2>You can't play with three. But it's a bit ship.

0:46:50.760 --> 0:46:52.759
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it is a bit and the dynamics wrong. It

0:46:52.760 --> 0:46:55.480
<v Speaker 4>has to be two kids ganging up on the parents totally.

0:46:55.800 --> 0:46:56.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's even then.

0:46:57.400 --> 0:46:58.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've got my nieces.

0:46:58.960 --> 0:47:01.120
<v Speaker 3>She's an only child child, and I think there will

0:47:01.120 --> 0:47:02.920
<v Speaker 3>be the case. So I'm just like reluctant.

0:47:03.000 --> 0:47:05.880
<v Speaker 4>Oh no, I mean I'm an only child technically.

0:47:06.320 --> 0:47:08.520
<v Speaker 2>Winning thoughts and prayers with winning.

0:47:08.680 --> 0:47:14.719
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'm an only child technically, but I do have

0:47:14.760 --> 0:47:17.280
<v Speaker 4>two half sisters, but you know, we didn't grow up together,

0:47:17.400 --> 0:47:20.440
<v Speaker 4>so I very much identify as an only child.

0:47:20.560 --> 0:47:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, my kids, like they just bicker.

0:47:23.040 --> 0:47:27.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we will caveat that. Previous conversation is the only

0:47:27.880 --> 0:47:30.799
<v Speaker 2>children are great, and they are fantastic.

0:47:30.960 --> 0:47:36.040
<v Speaker 4>I think they are cameras. I think they take on

0:47:36.120 --> 0:47:38.600
<v Speaker 4>a lot. As an only child, you take on like

0:47:38.680 --> 0:47:41.040
<v Speaker 4>you're very aware of your parents' son. Am makers when

0:47:41.040 --> 0:47:44.319
<v Speaker 4>you have a sibling, you're in your own Yeah, And

0:47:44.400 --> 0:47:47.400
<v Speaker 4>I do get sad sometimes because I think there is

0:47:47.440 --> 0:47:49.919
<v Speaker 4>no one in the entire world who knows what it's

0:47:49.920 --> 0:47:53.160
<v Speaker 4>like to have my mum. No one, you know, you

0:47:53.200 --> 0:47:55.000
<v Speaker 4>can know her, but no one will know what it's

0:47:55.040 --> 0:47:55.720
<v Speaker 4>like to be raised.

0:47:56.280 --> 0:47:56.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:47:56.600 --> 0:47:59.080
<v Speaker 4>Whereas now with half sisters, we can talk about my

0:47:59.160 --> 0:48:02.839
<v Speaker 4>dad or whatever. And that is a novel experience to

0:48:02.880 --> 0:48:12.640
<v Speaker 4>have other people, Yeah, being parented by my dad, whereas yeah,

0:48:13.320 --> 0:48:15.200
<v Speaker 4>where are you going with this? Is this just going

0:48:15.280 --> 0:48:15.879
<v Speaker 4>a trail off?

0:48:18.040 --> 0:48:19.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if the sort of picked up a

0:48:19.480 --> 0:48:20.000
<v Speaker 2>bust is.

0:48:19.960 --> 0:48:26.680
<v Speaker 4>Like listen, Nick Cody was a lot more.

0:48:28.719 --> 0:48:31.319
<v Speaker 2>One more question and I have for you, Becky, when

0:48:31.520 --> 0:48:33.680
<v Speaker 2>George is all grown up, yes he's no longer living

0:48:33.719 --> 0:48:37.239
<v Speaker 2>at home. If that time does come, who knows is

0:48:37.280 --> 0:48:39.000
<v Speaker 2>the one thing you would want him to remember about

0:48:39.040 --> 0:48:40.120
<v Speaker 2>the house that he grew up in.

0:48:40.480 --> 0:48:41.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh.

0:48:41.320 --> 0:48:45.839
<v Speaker 4>I just want him to remember like comfort and like

0:48:46.560 --> 0:48:50.279
<v Speaker 4>nice moments which his dad's really good at making, like

0:48:50.360 --> 0:48:53.600
<v Speaker 4>he really he knows, like Saturday morning, let's make pancakes

0:48:53.640 --> 0:48:56.640
<v Speaker 4>and put nice music on, and like coziness is such

0:48:56.680 --> 0:48:59.200
<v Speaker 4>a nice thing. And I also want him to feel

0:48:59.600 --> 0:49:02.839
<v Speaker 4>understand good I want him to feel like, well, we've

0:49:02.880 --> 0:49:07.319
<v Speaker 4>really listened to him and made the effort to like

0:49:07.680 --> 0:49:10.960
<v Speaker 4>understand where he's coming from and his life. And yeah,

0:49:11.160 --> 0:49:15.200
<v Speaker 4>I don't know. My parents can never remember my friend's names,

0:49:16.120 --> 0:49:18.360
<v Speaker 4>and I find that so frustrating. And it's like, I

0:49:18.400 --> 0:49:20.799
<v Speaker 4>just want to remember everything about his life, even if

0:49:20.800 --> 0:49:24.520
<v Speaker 4>he finds it over Mary. I want to be an

0:49:24.560 --> 0:49:25.319
<v Speaker 4>overbearing mom.

0:49:25.400 --> 0:49:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I do.

0:49:26.080 --> 0:49:26.880
<v Speaker 4>I think it's nice.

0:49:27.239 --> 0:49:31.359
<v Speaker 2>I've really spoken for an hour, but it sounds to

0:49:31.400 --> 0:49:32.880
<v Speaker 2>me like you are a great mom and you have

0:49:32.920 --> 0:49:35.719
<v Speaker 2>a great partner who's also a great dad. So well done.

0:49:35.840 --> 0:49:37.480
<v Speaker 4>Thanks, thank you, that's really nice.

0:49:37.600 --> 0:49:38.799
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for spending some time with us.

0:49:39.000 --> 0:49:41.480
<v Speaker 4>Loved it, didn't I didn't know. I actually really love

0:49:41.520 --> 0:49:42.000
<v Speaker 4>hanging out.

0:49:41.880 --> 0:49:43.920
<v Speaker 1>With you guys. Thank you. Any chat about calm I'm

0:49:43.920 --> 0:49:44.279
<v Speaker 1>all about.

0:49:46.520 --> 0:49:49.760
<v Speaker 4>I was a bit nervous, like, yeah, it's weird walking

0:49:49.800 --> 0:49:52.920
<v Speaker 4>into someone else's dynamic, but I think we've really got

0:49:52.920 --> 0:49:55.239
<v Speaker 4>a long guy's I think just if you want to

0:49:55.280 --> 0:49:56.160
<v Speaker 4>analyze how this.

0:49:56.120 --> 0:50:00.080
<v Speaker 3>Went, if you can come back anytime, you lie, I

0:50:00.440 --> 0:50:04.439
<v Speaker 3>can't come back, was like, can I come back?

0:50:05.880 --> 0:50:08.520
<v Speaker 4>It's also so fun to have permission to speak freely

0:50:08.560 --> 0:50:10.719
<v Speaker 4>about parenting because you know, when you are at a

0:50:10.719 --> 0:50:13.480
<v Speaker 4>party and you there's people who aren't parents, and then

0:50:13.640 --> 0:50:16.560
<v Speaker 4>you are having a parenting chat and someone, a non

0:50:16.600 --> 0:50:20.600
<v Speaker 4>parenting person comes over and you're so yeah, you're so

0:50:20.640 --> 0:50:24.680
<v Speaker 4>self conscious about how boring you're being. This podcast is

0:50:24.719 --> 0:50:25.800
<v Speaker 4>really boring.

0:50:28.000 --> 0:50:30.959
<v Speaker 2>Non parents yea. And you can see someone just like.

0:50:31.000 --> 0:50:36.560
<v Speaker 3>Slowly, we've a lot of non parent listeners, though not

0:50:36.760 --> 0:50:38.800
<v Speaker 3>like some people are like, oh, it's my favorite podcast.

0:50:38.600 --> 0:50:39.360
<v Speaker 2>I have kids.

0:50:39.680 --> 0:50:46.279
<v Speaker 1>Man, well you're weird. Love you, Thank you again.

0:50:46.280 --> 0:50:51.680
<v Speaker 4>No, thanks a lot and and goodbye and at a point,

0:50:52.960 --> 0:50:59.879
<v Speaker 4>thanks guys, thank you.

0:51:00.480 --> 0:51:02.080
<v Speaker 1>Fun fact, we've had two guests that.

0:51:02.120 --> 0:51:04.000
<v Speaker 3>Have appeared on Cony Now in this podcast.

0:51:04.680 --> 0:51:05.920
<v Speaker 2>Don't tell me who the other person was.

0:51:05.960 --> 0:51:07.239
<v Speaker 1>Who was it was?

0:51:11.239 --> 0:51:15.640
<v Speaker 3>It is Nick Cody, Nick Cody and Becky Lucas, which

0:51:15.719 --> 0:51:17.240
<v Speaker 3>is great for Australian comedy.

0:51:17.560 --> 0:51:24.960
<v Speaker 2>Both absolutely hairy, both absolutely hilarious. And if you found

0:51:24.960 --> 0:51:27.560
<v Speaker 2>Becky hilarious, anythink maybe I want to go see her

0:51:27.600 --> 0:51:30.160
<v Speaker 2>stand up. We have great news. You can see her

0:51:30.160 --> 0:51:33.200
<v Speaker 2>touring a new show. Things have changed, but the essence

0:51:33.360 --> 0:51:36.400
<v Speaker 2>remains all around the country. Tickets can be found in

0:51:36.440 --> 0:51:37.160
<v Speaker 2>the show notes.

0:51:37.400 --> 0:51:41.200
<v Speaker 3>That's that's an amazing name for a show. I will

0:51:41.239 --> 0:51:41.760
<v Speaker 3>just say.

0:51:41.600 --> 0:51:44.399
<v Speaker 2>That I like it very deep, yes, mysterious.

0:51:44.440 --> 0:51:46.600
<v Speaker 1>Now, if you're listening, get out there and supporting you mum.

0:51:46.640 --> 0:51:49.520
<v Speaker 3>Let me help her get back to work back on stage.

0:51:50.200 --> 0:51:53.719
<v Speaker 2>And if you've enjoyed this episode, help us say it work.

0:51:54.120 --> 0:51:55.200
<v Speaker 1>Just help us please.

0:51:56.280 --> 0:51:59.000
<v Speaker 2>You can subscribe, review, give us a few stars for

0:51:59.000 --> 0:52:01.560
<v Speaker 2>you comments on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or follow us on

0:52:01.600 --> 0:52:04.680
<v Speaker 2>social media TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. We have a group

0:52:04.719 --> 0:52:06.719
<v Speaker 2>there as well. And if there's any guests that you

0:52:06.719 --> 0:52:10.120
<v Speaker 2>would like us to interview, moms or dads, anyone you

0:52:10.200 --> 0:52:12.920
<v Speaker 2>may find interesting or hilarious, let us know.

0:52:13.640 --> 0:52:14.359
<v Speaker 1>Until next time.

0:52:14.840 --> 0:52:18.960
<v Speaker 5>Bye.

0:52:22.920 --> 0:52:26.560
<v Speaker 2>Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

0:52:26.560 --> 0:52:30.279
<v Speaker 2>throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

0:52:30.520 --> 0:52:33.040
<v Speaker 3>We pay our respects to their elders past and present

0:52:33.080 --> 0:52:36.160
<v Speaker 3>and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

0:52:36.239 --> 0:52:36.960
<v Speaker 3>peoples today