Speaker 1: Matthew, how would you describe parenting? It is hell?
Speaker 2: Oh my god. It is painful, it is exhausting, it's relentless.
Speaker 2: But can I also have to say I love my kids,
Speaker 2: love my kids. It's great. Wouldn't change for the world,
Speaker 2: but it's it's a world of hell.
Speaker 1: Well said Well.
Speaker 3: Comedian Becky Lucas would explain it probably the same, but
Speaker 3: she loves it.
Speaker 2: At least I'm not alone Becky Lucas, she is one
Speaker 2: of Australia's favorite comedians.
Speaker 3: Yes, she was the first Australian female comedian to feature
Speaker 3: on Conan O'Brien.
Speaker 4: I think the worst thing about your parents getting divorce
Speaker 4: is that they move into two different houses and then you,
Speaker 4: as the kid, has to move from house to house.
Speaker 4: I remember being little thinking why can't I stay here?
Speaker 4: And you guys move to me, and I'm like, why
Speaker 4: am I five years old learning how to roll my
Speaker 4: socks to fit more room in the suitcase because dad
Speaker 4: kiss a woman at a party. Now I get there,
Speaker 4: he's like, oh, you forgot your toothbrush. I'm like, dull,
Speaker 4: you forgot your wedding bells?
Speaker 2: And it's quite an achievement. Now, Becky, she is a
Speaker 2: mum and boy. It is tough, but it is also
Speaker 2: one of the best things in the world. Gosh, Becky
Speaker 2: and I were so alike. We're soight wh're is the
Speaker 2: same person? Both hilarious? Right Ash?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah? Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Parenting for Becky has been a bit of a roller
Speaker 3: coaster since a son was born. Little George was born
Speaker 3: with a heart condition that meant that we have to
Speaker 3: go to open heart surgery before his first birthday. Becky
Speaker 3: feels like those early days of motherhood were robbed from her.
Speaker 1: Look.
Speaker 2: It can be tough for a comedian to share a
Speaker 2: vulnerable story of their life, but this is one that
Speaker 2: is incredibly heartfelt and we're so thankful that Becky felt
Speaker 2: comfortable to share the story with us today.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let's get into it.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads and one doting mum.
Speaker 2: I am Maddie, Jane, I'm Ash and I'm Becky.
Speaker 4: Lucas nailed your own name.
Speaker 2: Sorry for stuffing up the intro.
Speaker 4: I think it shows a sense of fun. We're all
Speaker 4: This is.
Speaker 2: A podcast all about parenting, Becky. It is the good,
Speaker 2: it is the bad, and the relatable. And if you
Speaker 2: come for advice, not us, not now, not never, but
Speaker 2: maybe from you.
Speaker 1: Maybe, uh huh.
Speaker 3: We just have to put that there legally, okay, trouble okay,
Speaker 3: but you're allowed to give advice if you've got some.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 2: Now, my question was yeah, and I hate to be
Speaker 2: so goddamn cliche.
Speaker 4: Hey, don't overthink it.
Speaker 2: But you're from Brisbane. I'm from Brisbane. You asked before
Speaker 2: if I went to Marris what school did you go to?
Speaker 4: I went to Brisbane State High What does that mean?
Speaker 4: So you're a don't you I'm not an athlete. I
Speaker 4: just lived in the catchment.
Speaker 1: Because a comedian. Yeah, I was like, I heard comedy
Speaker 1: is going to be in the Olympics. Well it was.
Speaker 1: It was break dancing, but we're going to have it
Speaker 1: in the next Olympics. No, I made it up.
Speaker 4: Come on, Jesus, the jungle has fried? You are you
Speaker 4: seem like so we allowed to mention the jungle.
Speaker 1: It was televised. It's over I know.
Speaker 4: But what I feels like sensitive, he's just like sensitive
Speaker 4: about his time.
Speaker 2: Still I'm coming to terms of like what just happened.
Speaker 1: He still has the night terrorists during the day there
Speaker 1: and be like.
Speaker 2: The bathroom for one second, come out crying and I'm like,
Speaker 2: did you do the post?
Speaker 4: I feel like every time there's a celebrity that goes
Speaker 4: into the jungle, they always do a post being like
Speaker 4: we saw these amazing leopards and like, did you do that?
Speaker 4: I did, because I just feel like every celebrity has
Speaker 4: to pretend like, yeah, like I was in there for this,
Speaker 4: but also the amazing leopards and.
Speaker 3: Your friend goes away for like a month and like, yes,
Speaker 3: I lived in London for a month.
Speaker 1: Yeah, South Africa for like a month.
Speaker 2: In my defense, I took the kids on the safari
Speaker 2: and they saw actually there was two cheaters who just
Speaker 2: killed an antelope. Oh my god, and the thing was.
Speaker 4: Like so speaking that local language.
Speaker 2: And this thing was so mangled. It was so mangled,
Speaker 2: and the kids were like, my kids are five and four,
Speaker 2: like what's wrong with it. I was like, it's just sleeping.
Speaker 2: And then these two cheaters are gnawing at it and.
Speaker 3: They're like make it stop, and I was, my god,
Speaker 3: it's a jungle massage.
Speaker 2: I did see a couple of zebra.
Speaker 6: Try.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel like we sometimes try to get a bit
Speaker 2: of a read on our guests.
Speaker 4: Maybe you'll never know me, you will never know. You
Speaker 4: can try, you can try, but you'll never know me.
Speaker 2: Did you ever get suspended from school?
Speaker 4: Yes, but I will say this, it was an in
Speaker 4: school suspension. Yeah, I know, I know, but it's really
Speaker 4: smart because if you get suspended, you're just at home
Speaker 4: with all your things. But in school suspension you just
Speaker 4: had to sit outside the office for five days.
Speaker 2: Like medieval times. Being on show, you're like one of
Speaker 2: those things too.
Speaker 4: Like a hanniballeto mask, and I got it for smoking
Speaker 4: cigs in the toilet, Yeah, which is funny. It'd be
Speaker 4: funny if someone put a sig through the hannibal leto mask.
Speaker 2: Give a hip. What was your thinking behind smoking cigarettes
Speaker 2: in the toilet?
Speaker 4: Just actually liked cigarettes? Yeah, My thinking was like I
Speaker 4: like to do this, and I'm going to do this.
Speaker 2: Was it the little lunch or the big lunch?
Speaker 4: It might have even been like during class.
Speaker 1: Nice you have.
Speaker 4: It's kind of funny because it's not even like, oh,
Speaker 4: this naughty thing we're planning to do. I'm like just
Speaker 4: actually stressed out from class and need my little genuinely
Speaker 4: stressed out.
Speaker 2: And then how did you get caught?
Speaker 4: I was stopped on I actually can't remember bridge it with.
Speaker 2: My I honestly, I didn't think you would have been
Speaker 2: type of person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was smoking. It was more that's the only
Speaker 1: time he was suspended.
Speaker 4: I think, So there were other times where it was
Speaker 4: like threatened or whatever. But yeah, I was like, I
Speaker 4: wouldn't say I was a naughty kid, but I did
Speaker 4: get swept up in the moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, who was the disciplinary one at hunt? Who have parents?
Speaker 4: Thank you for actually bringing that up. Okay, I guess
Speaker 4: I guess my fractured home life kind of contributed to Yeah,
Speaker 4: it's like but disciplinary. I don't know, Like I guess
Speaker 4: both my parents were disciplinarian in a way. But there
Speaker 4: is something about them being separated where you never truly
Speaker 4: have to answer to anyone too much, Like you can
Speaker 4: always stories can be you know, you can kind of
Speaker 4: play parents. Yeah, Like if I was ever in trouble,
Speaker 4: I could always just gossip about Dad to mom. You know,
Speaker 4: She's like, where on your homework? I'm like, I don't know,
Speaker 4: but do you know what Dad said the other He said,
Speaker 4: this is a really weird thing, and she's interested. So
Speaker 4: I could always which I think kind of is bad.
Speaker 4: Like I do think I gossip a lot now because
Speaker 4: I grew up being able to yeah.
Speaker 1: Dad's good and your girlfriend yeah yeah, quickly change.
Speaker 4: That will always be a bit interested in a tidbit
Speaker 4: of your life.
Speaker 2: I'll blame having an older sister from my last gossip. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm like, guess, guess what, ash you do love gossip?
Speaker 4: There's always something, you know how evolutionary things always get
Speaker 4: people out of bad behavior, like I don't know, you'll
Speaker 4: you'll or something like, well, gossip was actually an evolutionary
Speaker 4: tool because it was the collition of the information about
Speaker 4: the mob and the tribe and you were just trying
Speaker 4: to like survive, and it's like not used a piece
Speaker 4: of shit, but you can like use these things like oh,
Speaker 4: it's actually about survival. It's because I'm a woman and
Speaker 4: gossip's my only tool in the tribe.
Speaker 1: And before they had.
Speaker 3: Delivered thing, they just gossiped its way like Chinese whispers
Speaker 3: the next person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, let's get back on track.
Speaker 4: Okay, sorry, I am a mother. Let's get more into Yah.
Speaker 2: So your son is currently with your sister.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my sister Hannah, who's twenty two, and she's awesome,
Speaker 4: but yeah, she we drove here and the windscreen wipers
Speaker 4: were on the whole time and she just didn't notice.
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, like she just.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's kind of she was awesome, but like saying,
Speaker 4: she just doesn't Yeah, she's not aware.
Speaker 3: Between you and her, like, yeah, not to point that out, sorry,
Speaker 3: but she's quite young.
Speaker 4: And I'm quite.
Speaker 2: Going back to the divorce parents, is this?
Speaker 4: Yeah, second family? I'm Sorryron, simply two half two half
Speaker 4: eas Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's enough of that. That's enough questioning for me. I
Speaker 1: just want to get the whole picture.
Speaker 4: Okay, what else do you want to do?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry for Ash, That's okay, that's all right, He's uh,
Speaker 2: I get it, take it away, keep going.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, okay, so why't.
Speaker 6: Ask about the parents, the divorce parents. I want to
Speaker 6: know about about Chris, my boyfriend. Yes, okay, what do
Speaker 6: you want to know?
Speaker 1: Boy?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What did you meet?
Speaker 4: We met at a party through a friend. What it was.
Speaker 4: He was having a party at his house.
Speaker 1: He was having the party you just said a party,
Speaker 1: not his party.
Speaker 4: It was his party. And I was with some friends
Speaker 4: actually the boys from the Buttuda Advocate and my friend
Speaker 4: Lovely Boys, my friend, my friend Dixie I just arrived
Speaker 4: and at first sight for me maybe and Chris, what
Speaker 4: do you think, he's just really hot. It's a bit
Speaker 4: of acause mostly that it's a power play as well.
Speaker 4: It's his house, his party. Yeah, he's got the upper hand,
Speaker 4: do you reckon? I kind of think arriving to the
Speaker 4: party is a bit of upper hand. I think hosting
Speaker 4: a party in a very weak position really a little
Speaker 4: bit because you're worrying about how the party is going
Speaker 4: to go, your toilets being people taking big dumps, ship
Speaker 4: people are doing it.
Speaker 1: You walked down and you like took a big ship
Speaker 1: in the hay.
Speaker 4: I'm in control, I have the upper hand. Don't go
Speaker 4: in there.
Speaker 1: You kind of think like it's my party, I got
Speaker 1: pick of the birds.
Speaker 4: But then that is true, that is true. I think
Speaker 4: you could make a case either way. I think there
Speaker 4: is a vulnerability in having a party because like if
Speaker 4: it's a if it's a failure, that's embarrassing and people
Speaker 4: are kind of using your house just however they want,
Speaker 4: and you're the one that has to be like, guys,
Speaker 4: can you not get there?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: You have to be a bit a bit of a
Speaker 4: sort of what's the word anal attentive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, i'd I can't do I can't host events.
Speaker 4: Because I'm just yet. It's just too anxious, and you're
Speaker 4: worried about who's talking to who and who's having a
Speaker 4: good time, and like, I'm just out of my mind
Speaker 4: the whole time.
Speaker 2: Who was spearheading the conversation about starting a family?
Speaker 4: Yeah, isn't it mostly the woman? I feel like men don't.
Speaker 1: It's a good question.
Speaker 4: Men don't know that they want it until it happens.
Speaker 4: Like he was very like, he was like, yeah, it'd
Speaker 4: be cool, and then I sort of pushed it down
Speaker 4: the track. And then even like when I was pregnant,
Speaker 4: like he was obviously excited and everything, but it felt
Speaker 4: like he went but I made all the decisions about
Speaker 4: what prem we're getting. I could really barely get him.
Speaker 4: But I do feel like, yeah, he didn't care about
Speaker 4: all of that stuff or maybe couldn't conceptualize it. And
Speaker 4: then as soon as the baby was in front of him,
Speaker 4: it was like, which you guys probably remember that feeling
Speaker 4: of like can't really conceptualize and then it's there and
Speaker 4: he just could not stop crying. Really, and he's not
Speaker 4: a crier at all. He was crying so much, Like
Speaker 4: our baby had to go to nick You for a
Speaker 4: few days because he inhaled a lot of liquids and
Speaker 4: he was okay, like he was stable and everything, Like
Speaker 4: he was really just there for monitoring. And my boyfriend
Speaker 4: cried so much that the nurse in nick You was like, hey, man,
Speaker 4: are you okay? It's like the place where the most
Speaker 4: crying happens. He still was crying more than anyone. Yeah,
Speaker 4: Like he just could not believe happiness, like absolutely overwhelmed
Speaker 4: by the love, and ever since then has been so
Speaker 4: much more involved than any Like, you know, we can
Speaker 4: talk for so long about like, oh, I think we
Speaker 4: should buy this type of food and I think this
Speaker 4: and he looked like he's pooh. Was like he just
Speaker 4: went from being yeah, I couldn't get him really interested
Speaker 4: to yeah, that's all we talk about. He's obsessed.
Speaker 2: That's the dream though, right, But you would want that
Speaker 2: as opposed to you being like, can you please just
Speaker 2: change an happy?
Speaker 4: Yeah? No, he's the best, dat he's awesome.
Speaker 2: Where do you think that reluctance came from?
Speaker 1: It?
Speaker 4: Just I just think I don't know. I mean, I
Speaker 4: think it's kind of a cultural thing. Like people are
Speaker 4: very anti natalist, you know, Like I do think there's
Speaker 4: a bit of anti baby sentiment in the air, and
Speaker 4: I don't know what came first. I'm like, is it
Speaker 4: because it's harder for people to is it the breakdown
Speaker 4: of society where it's like people aren't earning enough money
Speaker 4: to have a baby, or like they're not you know,
Speaker 4: it's harder to meet a life partner, and so you
Speaker 4: just kind of take on this attitude of like babies.
Speaker 4: I don't know, I do feel like there's a bit
Speaker 4: of that.
Speaker 2: I think it's a bit of a there's two sides
Speaker 2: that there's one side of people being like it is amazing,
Speaker 2: like it's life changing, I have purpose, and the other
Speaker 2: side where it's like rule my life. Yeah I can't
Speaker 2: do anything anymore.
Speaker 4: But like both like every day I'm like this is fucked,
Speaker 4: and then I'm in the same day I'm I've never
Speaker 4: smiled more in my life, Like it's just the joy
Speaker 4: is crazy. But it's every day I'm like, what have
Speaker 4: I done?
Speaker 1: Is wrong?
Speaker 3: It is you know we were talking about this before
Speaker 3: where it's like like you can't truly love something all
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 1: No, You're like, yeah, you're like, oh.
Speaker 3: This is amazing, and then you're like then they like
Speaker 3: smash a glass off the thing, and you're like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, totally absolutely, but it's such an exercise. And like, like,
Speaker 4: I had a friend the other day who doesn't want kids,
Speaker 4: and he was talking about how he took all day
Speaker 4: to make a sandwich and I was I had just
Speaker 4: had no sleep and it was just so like just
Speaker 4: to get to this place where we were going heading
Speaker 4: up for a gig, it was just so much, baby,
Speaker 4: and I'm like struggling, hunched over zips, like just your
Speaker 4: whole day so hard. And he said, like he was
Speaker 4: describing making this sandwich all day and then he kind
Speaker 4: of was like, oh, sorry because he knows how hard
Speaker 4: my day is. But in my mind, I'm like, no,
Speaker 4: don't be sorry, Like I'm I love even though it's
Speaker 4: I was complaining. I love doing this for my son. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and like I get to see him, like I saw
Speaker 4: him see a rainbow for the first time, and it's
Speaker 4: like it's all worth it.
Speaker 2: It's like watch my son see a rainbow for the
Speaker 2: first time and that moment, or make a sandwich all day.
Speaker 4: Like yeah, yeah, it sounded pretty good. Actually, but yeah,
Speaker 4: it is. It's a funny, it's yeah. I guess it's
Speaker 4: also designed perfectly, like because before you do it, you
Speaker 4: just don't know how good it is. So like people
Speaker 4: who haven't done it or don't want to do it,
Speaker 4: they'll never feel that. So it's kind of good.
Speaker 2: You don't know what you don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you don't know what you don't know. But yeah,
Speaker 4: it is fucked for pregnant, like not as easy as
Speaker 4: I assumed. Maybe I think we tried like five months.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, so yeah, like I thought it would be boom,
Speaker 4: but five months. It's not as long. I know, like
Speaker 4: other people have that much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, will you spend your twenties trying not to get
Speaker 2: pressured exactly and then when you try and get pregnant
Speaker 2: like oh wow, this is actually.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've had a lot of common Why is this
Speaker 4: not taking? They always made it out like like just
Speaker 4: one of them was gonna be like and I'm like, well.
Speaker 3: Millions, it's sort of like if you're throwing off ship
Speaker 3: at the wall, something's going to stick, right, That's what comes.
Speaker 2: I'm imagining Betty just like covered in like sick, Something's
Speaker 2: going to stick.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Chris, is there like nothing else.
Speaker 1: Like Matt from the Jungle.
Speaker 2: When Chris found out, was he on board or was Yeah.
Speaker 4: Like immediately was really happy. But I just think before
Speaker 4: then didn't have the drive that I did, Like, wasn't
Speaker 4: as alongside me as I would have wanted. But I
Speaker 4: just I don't know whether it was hormonal or whatever,
Speaker 4: but I was like, it's happening, and I just knew
Speaker 4: he'd love it once he did it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, was it an easy pregnancy.
Speaker 4: It was physically, but we had a like we had
Speaker 4: a pretty hectic time. At my seventeen week scan, it
Speaker 4: was actually it was earlier. I maybe had an earlier
Speaker 4: scan at like fourteen weeks. So I'm really bad at talking, seriously,
Speaker 4: I feel it's a new skill to like talk earnestly, Like,
Speaker 4: especially as a comedian, you just always want to get laughed.
Speaker 4: So you're like, oh, they accept me, so to speak
Speaker 4: covered and come exactly, and then you laugh and I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 4: everything's all good, and now I have to be earnest
Speaker 4: and no. So at my fourteen week scan, the lady
Speaker 4: sort of couldn't see all of the heart, but she
Speaker 4: didn't seem worried. She was like, oh, it's just really
Speaker 4: small and he's in a weird position. So come back
Speaker 4: in a few weeks. So I didn't think anything of it.
Speaker 4: That my GP was like, that's normal. So I went
Speaker 4: back at seventeen weeks like happy as Larry. Everything up
Speaker 4: until then had been perfect, perfect, perfect, So I just
Speaker 4: never thought anything of it. And then she was doing
Speaker 4: the scan and this lady wasn't saying anything, and I
Speaker 4: was like, can you see what you're looking for? And
Speaker 4: she said, oh, I think I can. I'm just going
Speaker 4: to get the obstetrician to talk to you. And so
Speaker 4: then it was just like like the worst feeling I've
Speaker 4: I actually haven't talked about his phages but and so
Speaker 4: then I got put into a little room for fifteen
Speaker 4: minutes by myself, and the obstetrician walked in and just
Speaker 4: pushed the tissues towards me. You're kidding, yeah, And she
Speaker 4: said it's not good news, and I started crying, and
Speaker 4: she basically started describing what it was, but never kind
Speaker 4: of got into like you just want information, Like I
Speaker 4: was like, so does this what does this mean? Like
Speaker 4: am I so we have to terminate it or whatever?
Speaker 4: And she said, we just don't know she's actually quite
Speaker 4: strange as an obstitution, Like this lady. She because when
Speaker 4: I was crying, she goes, Oh my god, she goes,
Speaker 4: this is actually the worst part of my job.
Speaker 1: I was like yeah.
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, sorry, why do we.
Speaker 1: Do the best? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Right, So she was like, he has this thing called
Speaker 4: I suspect he has this thing called Tetralogy of Fallow.
Speaker 4: And it's I know, it's called Tetralogy of Fallow.
Speaker 1: The things I know.
Speaker 4: I wish it was more simple because no one can
Speaker 4: remember it. It sounds like a JR. Tolkien novel or something,
Speaker 4: but it's it's like there's four things that have gone
Speaker 4: wrong with the heart, so they only need to correct too,
Speaker 4: and that's the whole, and there's the valve. But the
Speaker 4: thing is it can be a sign of other abnormalities.
Speaker 4: So I didn't know whether I was going to have
Speaker 4: what he had had genetic abnormalities, and we would have
Speaker 4: to terminate at like twenty weeks, which would have been
Speaker 4: so horrible anyway, So we went in at twenty weeks
Speaker 4: and had everything done and they were like, no, he's
Speaker 4: actually completely healthy and normal except for this thing. And
Speaker 4: they said it was actually funny because a lot of
Speaker 4: like I got a lot of comfort from the women
Speaker 4: who were like, it's okay, darling, everything's going to be fine.
Speaker 4: We have so many kids who come in with this
Speaker 4: gets fixed. And I liked that kind of caring, feminine reassurance.
Speaker 4: Whereas my boyfriend, who's half Chinese, doesn't like all of
Speaker 4: that very fairy talk. And he loved the doctor because
Speaker 4: the doctor was this Chinese guy, this little guy called
Speaker 4: doctor guy, and he just looked at it and he said,
Speaker 4: we can fix, we can fix, and he's like, it's fine,
Speaker 4: I fix all the time. It's fine outset. Yeah, And
Speaker 4: like my boyfriend like enjoyed a Chinese man who knows
Speaker 4: what he's talking about, like assuring us of and so, yeah.
Speaker 2: At least you had both ends of the spectrum, like
Speaker 2: you have your self touch of the you had like
Speaker 2: the firmness of the Chinese doctor.
Speaker 4: So totally everyone's covered. Yeah, And so they do. They
Speaker 4: f it's kind of their bread and butter surgery. There's
Speaker 4: literally today would be two three kids right now at
Speaker 4: Westmead getting it done. It's like something that they'd fix
Speaker 4: a lot, but it is something that to fix, to
Speaker 4: fixate its open heart surgery. Yeah on a baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry, baby, not a child.
Speaker 4: And so this is all happened like so this is
Speaker 4: before I've had the baby. So they're all very confident
Speaker 4: and like we fix it all the time. And they
Speaker 4: make me feel like, you know, back to the pregnancy,
Speaker 4: just you know, he's healthy and like we'll fix it
Speaker 4: and these are all the steps. But you know, I'm
Speaker 4: reading things online and there's a big spectrum and there's
Speaker 4: people who've had a really terrible time with it. But
Speaker 4: I also think you have to remember when you're reading
Speaker 4: stuff online, the sort of person who posts in online
Speaker 4: forums is a very anxious person usually, do you know
Speaker 4: what I mean? Like, so, yeah, anyway, so I just
Speaker 4: tried to be positive and stuff, and then I had
Speaker 4: the baby and it's suddenly like, oh, they're going to
Speaker 4: do this to my baby. And so that then became
Speaker 4: like I had been quite positive and like it's fixable,
Speaker 4: blah blah blah, and then suddenly it was like, but
Speaker 4: what if it's not and what if something goes wrong?
Speaker 4: And then I had this little baby?
Speaker 2: How long until they have the surgery?
Speaker 4: So they didn't know. So the heart kind of takes
Speaker 4: a little while to settle when the baby's born, Like
Speaker 4: there's a few little vowels and stuff that open and
Speaker 4: shut just in general, so they just had to see
Speaker 4: how it all settled and then keep an eye on it,
Speaker 4: and then they would decide based on how much oxygen
Speaker 4: he's getting and everything. So when he was born, they
Speaker 4: said probably around in six months. We had a surprise
Speaker 4: hospital visit. They can go blue. They go blue when
Speaker 4: the valve gets constricted, and it can happen like if
Speaker 4: they're having a big crying fit or whatever. So that
Speaker 4: just added because they cry. So when he would cry,
Speaker 4: like normal people are freaking out, but I'm freaking out
Speaker 4: because I'm worried he's going to go blue. So like
Speaker 4: all of my anxieties were just so heightened. But then
Speaker 4: I also had a really normal experience, like whenever I
Speaker 4: talk to other mums, we were dealing with the same thing,
Speaker 4: but I just had such an extra worry. And then
Speaker 4: we had a hospital stay that was unexpected. He had
Speaker 4: a blue spell during one of his checkups and then
Speaker 4: it was suddenly like we're getting rushed to Westmead Hospital
Speaker 4: and we were there for a week. And I don't
Speaker 4: know if you've ever been on a ward with a child,
Speaker 4: It's just like I had a little You have to
Speaker 4: put them to sleep, and there's six other babies screaming,
Speaker 4: and then it's a nightmare and the nurses come in,
Speaker 4: so you just I just get him to sleep, and
Speaker 4: then the nurse would come in and take his blood
Speaker 4: pressure and he'd wake up screaming, and I'd get him settled,
Speaker 4: and another baby would wake up screaming, and I just
Speaker 4: didn't sleep for the entire I felt like I was
Speaker 4: in hell. There was a woman next to me and
Speaker 4: her little girl, Huffsa. She had a little girl and
Speaker 4: she was coming down off she'd just had heart surgery
Speaker 4: and she was recovering and she was in delirium. So
Speaker 4: her little girl screamed for like twenty three hours of
Speaker 4: twenty four hours. They couldn't do anything, and then they
Speaker 4: and then there's like hell, yeah, and that happened to
Speaker 4: my son as well.
Speaker 1: I've never heard never I know that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, hope that's a good thing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get like, like for them to scream, do
Speaker 3: they explore what, like why they screamed so much?
Speaker 1: They just so not all of them.
Speaker 4: Get screaming delirium. My son went cross eyed, which was
Speaker 4: actually I'm laughing now, but I it wasious, like it
Speaker 4: was fucked. I was so upset because no one knew
Speaker 4: what was going on either. They were like, we don't
Speaker 4: really know why he's doing that. We can do a
Speaker 4: brain scan tomorrow, and I'm like, please don't talk about
Speaker 4: We've just done the heart. I know, because the whole
Speaker 4: time it's been like, you know, with the brain, that's
Speaker 4: that's very scary. It so seems so unknown. But with
Speaker 4: the heart, like even though it's horrific, it's a pump,
Speaker 4: like it's mechanical. They can fix it. Like my midwife
Speaker 4: would always say, like he's got a pumbing issue, but
Speaker 4: we can fix it. And that kind of calmed me down,
Speaker 4: is there?
Speaker 2: And this is like a confronting question, So apologies to
Speaker 2: ass but you know, you think all the feedback you're
Speaker 2: getting from the medical staff is that this is fixable
Speaker 2: and this is not something that we haven't dealt with before,
Speaker 2: we have experience here. But at the same time, open
Speaker 2: heart surgery is full on in your head. Are you
Speaker 2: also trying to manage expectations of like I wanted to
Speaker 2: go well, but things might not work out. I know,
Speaker 2: where's your head at? Leading into that five months.
Speaker 4: I was just so mental because yeah, it's like how
Speaker 4: do you love? I loved this thing that I felt
Speaker 4: also like he could be taken from me, and like
Speaker 4: they would talk about, you know, they have to tell
Speaker 4: you what they're going to do in the surgery and
Speaker 4: I never wanted to be told, but you know, they
Speaker 4: have to break his sternum and his blood is outside
Speaker 4: of his body, he's they stop his heart as a
Speaker 4: five month old like this, and he was you know,
Speaker 4: I know everyone thinks their baby special, but like he
Speaker 4: just is so full of life and so happy, and
Speaker 4: like I couldn't. Yeah, there was. It was very tough
Speaker 4: because I felt like I had to confront his death
Speaker 4: all the time. Like I just felt like every day
Speaker 4: I had to think, like every time he smiled or
Speaker 4: did something, I was like, you might die. And it
Speaker 4: almost made me scared of him, like like I was
Speaker 4: scared of his weakness. And I also think other people
Speaker 4: were were a little bit too, because we always It's
Speaker 4: like when people talked about him, they always said like,
Speaker 4: look how strong he is it, look how big and
Speaker 4: tough he is, And it was almost like are we
Speaker 4: saying this? Because to love him being weak, it's like,
Speaker 4: can we not love him as a weak baby? Like, yeah,
Speaker 4: he has to show how strong he is in every
Speaker 4: other way, do you know what I mean? And I like, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: For you to be like, well, it's like everything's okay,
Speaker 1: and it's like it's not.
Speaker 4: And even like when he was recovering from the open
Speaker 4: heart surgery, he didn't recover as quickly as they had predicted.
Speaker 4: He actually caught COVID somehow during operation or just after,
Speaker 4: and yeah, so he was under sedation for longer and
Speaker 4: it was a scary time, but the doctors and the
Speaker 4: nurses were like, it's okay, he's recovered ring Like he's
Speaker 4: taking his time, and he's recovering at the pace he
Speaker 4: needs to. He doesn't have to recover perfectly, you know, and.
Speaker 3: Like everyone recovers from yeah, and that includes a five
Speaker 3: month old baby totally.
Speaker 4: And I think, yeah, we had had this whole narrative
Speaker 4: of like, oh, he's so tough, he's going to kick
Speaker 4: surgery and the balls, and like it's actually like it's
Speaker 4: actually okay that he didn't and he's still lovable. So yeah,
Speaker 4: it was a very tough time. Like I was it
Speaker 4: was weird because yeah, in so many ways I had
Speaker 4: a you know, he was a normal baby, and but
Speaker 4: I just could not enjoy it in the same way.
Speaker 4: And I like, really, it feels like life has started now.
Speaker 3: Yes, so the lead up to the surgery, not knowing
Speaker 3: when it's going to happen, I suppose they.
Speaker 4: Said yes, but then we did lock it in. Okay,
Speaker 4: So after that hospital stay that the surgeon was like,
Speaker 4: let's just lock it in. We'll do it. And the
Speaker 4: lead up is just I mean, I lost my mind.
Speaker 4: I was just like I would walk around crying, weeping
Speaker 4: in public, like I don't know you, I just it
Speaker 4: was just so sad. So I'm going to cry. It's
Speaker 4: so funny that I was talking about being having come
Speaker 4: but yeah, it's it's like a it's oh my god,
Speaker 4: it's embarrassing. I mean, yeah, obviously it's a sad topic.
Speaker 4: But he's really good now, Like he's really he's really strong.
Speaker 4: He's actually already.
Speaker 3: Lifting other than you waiting for surgery or is it normal?
Speaker 1: Like everything is well?
Speaker 4: They tell me, like they they're like, yeah, he can
Speaker 4: do everything. He needs to check up every year for
Speaker 4: the rest of his life and he will need when
Speaker 4: he's older, like when he goes through puberty, they will
Speaker 4: need to put another valve in. That's the main thing.
Speaker 4: But the surgeon seems to think that they won't have
Speaker 4: to do open heart again, that they can do most
Speaker 4: of these things via catheter. So I'll always worry, like
Speaker 4: I'll just always freak out. And he's so active and
Speaker 4: sometimes I'm like, just chill, chill. Yeah, i just want
Speaker 4: him to be a ballet dancer or something. I wanted
Speaker 4: to be athletic, but like not contact sport. Yeah, And
Speaker 4: I'm just scared that he was going to want to
Speaker 4: play rugby. And because there's a fame that you do know,
Speaker 4: Sean White, the Olympic snowboarder, he has tetralogy A fellow
Speaker 4: really yeah, so he needed like three open heart surgeries.
Speaker 2: Before the age of five, flying in the air like
Speaker 2: twenty feet out of our heart.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And like he you know, did football and like
Speaker 4: they can definitely do apparently whatever other kid does.
Speaker 2: I will not tell George that George reading.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm like, You're going to just live with mummy,
Speaker 4: Like you.
Speaker 2: Know, when you go through that traumatic experience as a
Speaker 2: parent and you come out the other end. And we
Speaker 2: spoke before about the fact that parenting is amazing, but
Speaker 2: those are moments are matched with moments where it's exhausting,
Speaker 2: it's relentless, it's so bloody hard. Do you ever get
Speaker 2: guilt your life?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: I thought I might lose you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're pissing me on Yeah, yeah, totally. And
Speaker 4: then and then that's even harder because I'm like, I'm
Speaker 4: not even allowed to have the normal experience of being
Speaker 4: pissed off at your kids. Yeah, it does feel like
Speaker 4: I was it almost the different ways in which I
Speaker 4: feel I've been robbed emerge like I don't even I
Speaker 4: wasn't even prepared, Like he's he's not a great sleeper,
Speaker 4: but only because we are. You know, for the first
Speaker 4: six months of his life, they said, don't let him
Speaker 4: cry too much because he might go blue and lose oxygen.
Speaker 4: And then he has his heart fixed, and they're like, yep,
Speaker 4: he's good. His heart's like fixed. You can let him
Speaker 4: scream his head off, but that's a very hard thing
Speaker 4: for us to do.
Speaker 2: We don't want to do that.
Speaker 4: So because of that, he just runs rings around us,
Speaker 4: like we just do whatever he wants, like yeah, which
Speaker 4: you know, probably isn't good for him. Like, I know
Speaker 4: that I need to teach him to sleep, and that
Speaker 4: will require me like dealing with my own anxiety around
Speaker 4: his health for his own sake. But that's just really
Speaker 4: hard to do. And yeah, I just feel angry sometimes
Speaker 4: that I can't even do I can't do that, Like,
Speaker 4: but yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Don't know what does a sleep team look like for
Speaker 1: you guys?
Speaker 4: Well, just he does what he wants. We kind of
Speaker 4: cater to that, and no, we tried to. You know,
Speaker 4: he has his stories and his toys and stuff. We're
Speaker 4: slowly getting him to learn to fall asleep without the boob.
Speaker 4: But I fed to sleep just for every Yeah, it's easy,
Speaker 4: and you know, I'm like, he's been through so much,
Speaker 4: Like I'll give him some titty, Yeah, given the boob
Speaker 4: when they love it, it's like who am I to
Speaker 4: take it from him? And you can always find someone
Speaker 4: to justify it.
Speaker 2: But I think every parent. We have another friend who's
Speaker 2: got a baby that doesn't sleep, and the dad is like,
Speaker 2: I just can't if the baby's sleeping, Like I've just
Speaker 2: got to go in there, and you know that you're
Speaker 2: doing a disservice to the baby. But You're like, we
Speaker 2: used to rock Marley to sleep every single nap she
Speaker 2: had and then transition into a car like we were.
Speaker 2: We gave her like a life of pure luxury and
Speaker 2: so then when it was time for her to like
Speaker 2: fend for herself, she was like, yeah, you've You've held
Speaker 2: my hand every step of the way, and now you
Speaker 2: can let go.
Speaker 1: Transition is like it's like handling an explosive.
Speaker 4: You're like, and you start hating any sound like yeah,
Speaker 4: the I'm like, if I had a gone, I would
Speaker 4: have shot a bunch of dogs, like or like someone's
Speaker 4: doing repairs in the building. I'm like, oh, you're you're
Speaker 4: plumbing just had to be fixed.
Speaker 3: Like my daughter, or like maybe my daughter was having
Speaker 3: a nap and it would be like the neighbor hated this.
Speaker 1: I reckon. She just drilled on purpose. I get a call,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go over there.
Speaker 4: I'm like, go on, Yeah, I was like, it gets
Speaker 4: so psycho. I was laughing the other day. I mean,
Speaker 4: I'm still in it. Like but with my family. We
Speaker 4: went to visit my family over Christmas and I was
Speaker 4: inside having a nap with George, just got him to sleep.
Speaker 4: He was in a really good nap, and there was
Speaker 4: a freak do you know what a whirlyworli is? It
Speaker 4: was like a mini tornado. Yeah, a freak whirly whirly
Speaker 4: whipped through my parents seriously, and it lifted all the
Speaker 4: lawn furniture in the air and a big umbrella and
Speaker 4: my stepmom tried to grab it and she got all lifted. Seriously,
Speaker 4: she nearly died. Everyone's screaming and I'm in the room
Speaker 4: and I come out and I'm like, he just got
Speaker 4: to sleep.
Speaker 7: So's it's funny how like psychotic you get, like because
Speaker 7: I know that, like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that it's so precious, especially like a nap. The
Speaker 3: naps in the day sets you up for what your
Speaker 3: night's going to fucking you think.
Speaker 4: It does, and it's like does it? It does, and
Speaker 4: you're like, we have to get on the schedule again, and.
Speaker 1: Then there's just like one noise.
Speaker 4: He's like, for god, I know, yeah, And you have
Speaker 4: no control over anything that you think if you can
Speaker 4: control nap time and weak windows and stuff.
Speaker 3: But my parents were over the other day and both
Speaker 3: kids have been like didn't up all day. It was
Speaker 3: like a really big day for them. My parents came
Speaker 3: in the late afternoon. So they're excited again because my
Speaker 3: parents are there, and then they go after sleep. My
Speaker 3: dad's such a gone death, I reckon, so allowed to Yeah,
Speaker 3: every five minutes, I'm like.
Speaker 1: Shut and he's like, we here to visit you. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I wish I did it. Now they're away again.
Speaker 4: It's like they punish you, the parents, like they like
Speaker 4: seeing us in turmoil.
Speaker 1: Oh for sure, for sure. I mean they're like, we've
Speaker 1: done it, now.
Speaker 4: You've got it, and they think we're insane, Like I
Speaker 4: think they just put us down when we were tired
Speaker 4: and they just didn't follow all this stuff, or as
Speaker 4: we're like, we actually need five hours before bedtime in
Speaker 4: order to get the sleep.
Speaker 1: Pressure to see everyone thinks sleep, everyone think about being
Speaker 1: and then.
Speaker 2: They're looking at Chris and being like, wow, he's such
Speaker 2: a great father, he's so hands on.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess so, I think there's a bit of
Speaker 4: that reluctant. I don't know what they're thinking. I think
Speaker 4: I think I'm such a psycho that they're mostly focused
Speaker 4: on I'm still mental. I reckon, if you can't.
Speaker 1: Tell you.
Speaker 4: I haven't picked up, just come out of the jungle.
Speaker 4: So you do.
Speaker 3: You think I'm coming off the back of April being
Speaker 3: mental for so many years and it's completely I feel like,
Speaker 3: it's so it's so normal to be like, we're all
Speaker 3: so hyper sensitive in that moment, your way, in the
Speaker 3: absolute thick of it has got nothing on that you
Speaker 3: remember that you're.
Speaker 2: Like people, people who are in the first years amazing, amazing,
Speaker 2: But there was also the.
Speaker 3: Hell it's like we also we joke a lot. Is
Speaker 3: like I don't remember, we don't remember. You forget all
Speaker 3: about this until you have another one, and then you
Speaker 3: forget all about it all over again.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean. And also it's like, but I love it,
Speaker 4: like I'm in hell, but I love it. And it's
Speaker 4: hard to.
Speaker 2: Explain that you have produced is like trying to understand
Speaker 2: it doesn't no parents when you're like, it's hell, but
Speaker 2: I've like, but I'm I've acclimatized to it. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: used to it, and I've got a comfy seat.
Speaker 3: It becomes you're like, it becomes like your whole hobby,
Speaker 3: your whole life. You'rely and this I actually don't can't
Speaker 3: see it any other way anymore.
Speaker 4: I know, And I feel like it's a like you
Speaker 4: you're passing on. Like not having kids for me felt
Speaker 4: a bit like refusing to have your turn in tiggy,
Speaker 4: you know, like the kids, yeah are actually like I'm like,
Speaker 4: I've come down an ancestral line of like, you know,
Speaker 4: I've got a pretty interesting family, like we all do.
Speaker 4: But like my dad's family, his mum was Aboriginal, his
Speaker 4: dad was Russian. You know, it's just hectic. And it's
Speaker 4: just like women for so long have just been like
Speaker 4: squatting out kids in absurd circumstances, so difficult, and it's
Speaker 4: just so funny for me to be in like bed
Speaker 4: ordering uber eats, like no, I don't think I can
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 1: Strategy like don't knock, don't look me in the eyes.
Speaker 3: Like my my grandfather's indigenous and he was one of fourteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah fuck did his mum do fourteen? And we've got
Speaker 1: like two and we're like, don't wake them up?
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly. And it just felt like it like it's
Speaker 4: my turn and I just had to do it.
Speaker 2: I don't know, how are you finding doing it in
Speaker 2: regards to work.
Speaker 4: It's in some ways it's really good because I used
Speaker 4: to be so neurotic about putting you know, like I'm
Speaker 4: going to try this new joke and I get really
Speaker 4: doubt if it didn't work or whatever, and now it's
Speaker 4: like fuck it. Like I'm quite free of mind. Like
Speaker 4: I go, I'm doing bedtime, dinner time, it's bath and
Speaker 4: then I have to get in a like uber and
Speaker 4: go to a gig and I just have to try it.
Speaker 4: And I think that kind of I don't give a
Speaker 4: fuck attitude is like helpful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, as your material change them, it.
Speaker 4: Has Yeah, but then you also have a lot of
Speaker 4: time to think about stuff like I'm lying there with
Speaker 4: this during nap time, and you have like time to
Speaker 4: be a bit you know, I can write, Yeah.
Speaker 3: The things that you didn't maybe, like you might just
Speaker 3: be walking down the street with your baby and you're
Speaker 3: like okay, and then you get home and you're like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm waiting for the baby to wake up. Way, I'm
Speaker 3: observing things that happened different now.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And you're also just rooted in, you know, humanity
Speaker 4: a bit more Like when I talk to Uber drivers now,
Speaker 4: it's like we're both like I love my kids. It's
Speaker 4: like I fucking love my kid, and it's like you're
Speaker 4: all the other day was at the airport in Coffs
Speaker 4: Harbor and I saw this mom and it was so
Speaker 4: cute her little her girl was coming to Sydney and
Speaker 4: she had her little Sydney outfit on, like oh you know,
Speaker 4: little Ara and William's boots and she.
Speaker 1: Had a little backpack Sydney.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just so excited and the mom, you know,
Speaker 4: you could see her saying goodbye to her and it's like, oh,
Speaker 4: you know. And I really felt that, like, oh my god,
Speaker 4: they grow up and then they leave and I just
Speaker 4: might not have ever observed that before and understood. It's
Speaker 4: like you you see what roots people to or like
Speaker 4: binds them to the earth, like why they work, why
Speaker 4: they do these things, like.
Speaker 2: You do it no greater purpose?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you just love and it's fun to show
Speaker 4: a new human being how to enjoy the world. Like
Speaker 4: I just think about my son's the experiences he gets
Speaker 4: will will have in his life, like just even I
Speaker 4: don't know, waking up on a nice morning and smelling
Speaker 4: like a nice smell, and I think about him doing that.
Speaker 4: It makes me happy.
Speaker 1: The first Yeah, just.
Speaker 3: New things like trying to get on their level too,
Speaker 3: with seeing something for the first time, like when as
Speaker 3: adults when I'm like, fucking look that you imagine.
Speaker 4: Like everything everything dropping acid all day and then we're
Speaker 4: like go to sleep, go to sleep where.
Speaker 1: I just want to rainbow. You just tell me a
Speaker 1: fucking rainbow.
Speaker 2: You like, go to sleep now.
Speaker 4: Anything?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Is it hard to work at the same pace, like
Speaker 2: at the moment I laid fringes on, Yeah, speaking to
Speaker 2: other comedians and they'll do like consecutive shows like ten, fifteen,
Speaker 2: twenty shows back to back.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're probably talking to the men doing it
Speaker 4: as well, which is very different. Like I don't actually
Speaker 4: not to be like I'm the only because I'm not.
Speaker 4: But I don't know many women who've I'm still breastfeeding
Speaker 4: and stuff. I don't really know women who've gone back
Speaker 4: to it in this way. And I'm actually a bit nervous,
Speaker 4: to be honest, Like I'm excited to do the show
Speaker 4: and I hope that it's good and people like it,
Speaker 4: but I'm really scared to do it. Then you can't
Speaker 4: like when I've done Adelaide and Melbourne. You know, you
Speaker 4: do your show and then you go home and you
Speaker 4: think about what worked and didn't work, and you can
Speaker 4: really like put that time into it and I just can't.
Speaker 4: I mean I can. I'll have to find ways to
Speaker 4: do that to keep my little human alive exactly. It's
Speaker 4: just that there will be balancing and.
Speaker 1: I hope that's okay, you'll take him.
Speaker 4: Yeah. So luckily Chris has been able to take time
Speaker 4: off work so I can tour and stuff.
Speaker 1: Wow, OK, yeah cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. Crazily I'm the bread winner and I'm
Speaker 4: a comedian. It's like not, it's not normal. I remember
Speaker 4: when I realized I needed money to It's a really
Speaker 4: crazy but I realized. I was at the Now salon
Speaker 4: and this rich woman was talking to me and I said, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm thinking about having a baby. We started talking and
Speaker 4: she said, oh, what do you do? And I said
Speaker 4: I'm a comedian and she went and she said what
Speaker 4: does your partner do? And I said he's a social worker,
Speaker 4: and she went like she could not hide her disdain.
Speaker 2: You're working in like I don't know, as an avatar
Speaker 2: or like killing animals entertain people.
Speaker 4: Yeah, an avatar at least has a regular paycheck.
Speaker 1: You're a frustration a dead animal.
Speaker 2: I think the work is admirable.
Speaker 1: On your side.
Speaker 4: I don't think she meant it was not admirable. I
Speaker 4: think she was just like, what are you going to
Speaker 4: do for money? You have a it's not a real
Speaker 4: thing to do. And she's not wrong.
Speaker 2: You're proving her, proving her wrong.
Speaker 4: That's true. That's true. I have done well And if
Speaker 4: people just want to keep buying tickets, that would be
Speaker 4: really good.
Speaker 2: Put some information in the show notes.
Speaker 4: Definitely, Yeah, please.
Speaker 2: Or two questions. Okay, I know that it's still early days,
Speaker 2: like you're still with a newborn, so maybe way too
Speaker 2: premature to ask this question, but will you go a second? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I would love to. I feel like it would be
Speaker 4: very healing to go through the process and hopefully not
Speaker 4: have something go, you know, the health thing or fucked
Speaker 4: if it happens again. It's not a gen anything, it's
Speaker 4: just a freak accident. But I would love to. I
Speaker 4: just don't know how. We don't have family in town.
Speaker 4: It feels like we're just handballing him back and forth.
Speaker 4: We haven't nanny once a week. Day Care could be
Speaker 4: life changing, and it is. I used to be like
Speaker 4: no daycare, and now I'm like, what about daycare?
Speaker 1: Honestly, I think like I think we waited.
Speaker 2: We waited till Marley was like definitely beyond twelve months. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we put her in for a couple of days a
Speaker 2: week and we just, yeah, you.
Speaker 1: Don't know yourself.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm thinking eighteen months two days a week.
Speaker 2: We change.
Speaker 1: We forget that.
Speaker 3: It's like the stimulation that they get to like it
Speaker 3: might be like feel like I'm just off boarding.
Speaker 1: It's to someone else, but they have so much.
Speaker 4: Yeah, new toys, and he does come alive with other people,
Speaker 4: like he gets bored of me and then loves. He'll
Speaker 4: be grizzly and then we go out and he's like weaving.
Speaker 1: And everyone and then just do so much with Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's you know, and there's other kids doing the same ship.
Speaker 2: So I think I am thinking the waiting lists in
Speaker 2: Sydney are pretty extreme.
Speaker 1: So we're just going to add to totally.
Speaker 4: I should I think once I have a little and
Speaker 4: you know, once he gets at the moment, we're just
Speaker 4: still definitely in the trenches of like totally it's just
Speaker 4: physically hard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you mentioned we handball, Yeah, and it's every
Speaker 3: couples doing the same thing. We're like, you know, like
Speaker 3: you taking for now and get some rare a lot
Speaker 3: of families going through all that. But when you when
Speaker 3: you have two, it does become a bit more difficult.
Speaker 3: But then they sort of go together.
Speaker 4: I know, and you kind of need you need. You
Speaker 4: can't play a ball game without four people. You kind
Speaker 4: of need two kids, two adults for family holidays.
Speaker 2: You can't play with three. But it's a bit ship.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it is a bit and the dynamics wrong. It
Speaker 4: has to be two kids ganging up on the parents totally.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's even then.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got my nieces.
Speaker 3: She's an only child child, and I think there will
Speaker 3: be the case. So I'm just like reluctant.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I mean I'm an only child technically.
Speaker 2: Winning thoughts and prayers with winning.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm an only child technically, but I do have
Speaker 4: two half sisters, but you know, we didn't grow up together,
Speaker 4: so I very much identify as an only child.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my kids, like they just bicker.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we will caveat that. Previous conversation is the only
Speaker 2: children are great, and they are fantastic.
Speaker 4: I think they are cameras. I think they take on
Speaker 4: a lot. As an only child, you take on like
Speaker 4: you're very aware of your parents' son. Am makers when
Speaker 4: you have a sibling, you're in your own Yeah, And
Speaker 4: I do get sad sometimes because I think there is
Speaker 4: no one in the entire world who knows what it's
Speaker 4: like to have my mum. No one, you know, you
Speaker 4: can know her, but no one will know what it's
Speaker 4: like to be raised.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Whereas now with half sisters, we can talk about my
Speaker 4: dad or whatever. And that is a novel experience to
Speaker 4: have other people, Yeah, being parented by my dad, whereas yeah,
Speaker 4: where are you going with this? Is this just going
Speaker 4: a trail off?
Speaker 2: I don't know if the sort of picked up a
Speaker 2: bust is.
Speaker 4: Like listen, Nick Cody was a lot more.
Speaker 2: One more question and I have for you, Becky, when
Speaker 2: George is all grown up, yes he's no longer living
Speaker 2: at home. If that time does come, who knows is
Speaker 2: the one thing you would want him to remember about
Speaker 2: the house that he grew up in.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 4: I just want him to remember like comfort and like
Speaker 4: nice moments which his dad's really good at making, like
Speaker 4: he really he knows, like Saturday morning, let's make pancakes
Speaker 4: and put nice music on, and like coziness is such
Speaker 4: a nice thing. And I also want him to feel
Speaker 4: understand good I want him to feel like, well, we've
Speaker 4: really listened to him and made the effort to like
Speaker 4: understand where he's coming from and his life. And yeah,
Speaker 4: I don't know. My parents can never remember my friend's names,
Speaker 4: and I find that so frustrating. And it's like, I
Speaker 4: just want to remember everything about his life, even if
Speaker 4: he finds it over Mary. I want to be an
Speaker 4: overbearing mom.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 4: I think it's nice.
Speaker 2: I've really spoken for an hour, but it sounds to
Speaker 2: me like you are a great mom and you have
Speaker 2: a great partner who's also a great dad. So well done.
Speaker 4: Thanks, thank you, that's really nice.
Speaker 1: Thank you for spending some time with us.
Speaker 4: Loved it, didn't I didn't know. I actually really love
Speaker 4: hanging out.
Speaker 1: With you guys. Thank you. Any chat about calm I'm
Speaker 1: all about.
Speaker 4: I was a bit nervous, like, yeah, it's weird walking
Speaker 4: into someone else's dynamic, but I think we've really got
Speaker 4: a long guy's I think just if you want to
Speaker 4: analyze how this.
Speaker 3: Went, if you can come back anytime, you lie, I
Speaker 3: can't come back, was like, can I come back?
Speaker 4: It's also so fun to have permission to speak freely
Speaker 4: about parenting because you know, when you are at a
Speaker 4: party and you there's people who aren't parents, and then
Speaker 4: you are having a parenting chat and someone, a non
Speaker 4: parenting person comes over and you're so yeah, you're so
Speaker 4: self conscious about how boring you're being. This podcast is
Speaker 4: really boring.
Speaker 2: Non parents yea. And you can see someone just like.
Speaker 3: Slowly, we've a lot of non parent listeners, though not
Speaker 3: like some people are like, oh, it's my favorite podcast.
Speaker 2: I have kids.
Speaker 1: Man, well you're weird. Love you, Thank you again.
Speaker 4: No, thanks a lot and and goodbye and at a point,
Speaker 4: thanks guys, thank you.
Speaker 1: Fun fact, we've had two guests that.
Speaker 3: Have appeared on Cony Now in this podcast.
Speaker 2: Don't tell me who the other person was.
Speaker 1: Who was it was?
Speaker 3: It is Nick Cody, Nick Cody and Becky Lucas, which
Speaker 3: is great for Australian comedy.
Speaker 2: Both absolutely hairy, both absolutely hilarious. And if you found
Speaker 2: Becky hilarious, anythink maybe I want to go see her
Speaker 2: stand up. We have great news. You can see her
Speaker 2: touring a new show. Things have changed, but the essence
Speaker 2: remains all around the country. Tickets can be found in
Speaker 2: the show notes.
Speaker 3: That's that's an amazing name for a show. I will
Speaker 3: just say.
Speaker 2: That I like it very deep, yes, mysterious.
Speaker 1: Now, if you're listening, get out there and supporting you mum.
Speaker 3: Let me help her get back to work back on stage.
Speaker 2: And if you've enjoyed this episode, help us say it work.
Speaker 1: Just help us please.
Speaker 2: You can subscribe, review, give us a few stars for
Speaker 2: you comments on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or follow us on
Speaker 2: social media TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. We have a group
Speaker 2: there as well. And if there's any guests that you
Speaker 2: would like us to interview, moms or dads, anyone you
Speaker 2: may find interesting or hilarious, let us know.
Speaker 1: Until next time.
Speaker 5: Bye.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
Speaker 3: peoples today