WEBVTT - 🐭 BONUS: We're Entering Our Rat Era 🐭

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.

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<v Speaker 3>How Allo welcome if you're on you here, I'm Frumes

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<v Speaker 3>and opposite me is Flex Mummy looking like for Rucaus

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<v Speaker 3>salt that Yeah, like you got a little tracksuit moment on.

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<v Speaker 3>I think she's the one that was the little spoiled brat.

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<v Speaker 1>Vibe, but like should I claim it?

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<v Speaker 2>Do we have? She's got a fit?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, great, she's giving you think she's in aries Anyway, Guys,

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<v Speaker 1>we are a radio show you best believe that also

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<v Speaker 1>has a very successful catch up podcast. We are on

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<v Speaker 1>break right now.

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<v Speaker 3>But our producer Mickey made you are bonus episode, so

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<v Speaker 3>you don't miss us too much.

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<v Speaker 1>The rukasults. How I imagine my kid based on these images?

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<v Speaker 1>One hundred Yeah problem, that's so pretty.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is.

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<v Speaker 1>Flex and Frooms. We are having a hot girl rat

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<v Speaker 1>summer by we, I mean obviously you, me and Frumena

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<v Speaker 1>is coming to You might be thinking it is not

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<v Speaker 1>summer in Australia. It's not, but it's actually summer like

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<v Speaker 1>everywhere else in the Northern Hemisphere. So it's good to

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<v Speaker 1>maintain a breast of what's happening in culture, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I think all of these things can be applied and

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<v Speaker 1>should absolutely be applied to the Australian winter. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>that so strongly in my gut and loins, the ideas

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<v Speaker 1>that we should be behaving in rat like ways, scurrying places,

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<v Speaker 1>eating well, being in places we should not be in

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<v Speaker 1>congregating with the community. This creative made a follow up

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<v Speaker 1>video and distilled the ethos of Hot Rat Girl Summer

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<v Speaker 1>into four distinct points, which I will repeat now. Number one,

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<v Speaker 1>go outside. You might be thinking, I've seen plenty of

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<v Speaker 1>rat inside. Maybe you saw a mouse, am I. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know if you saw a rat, and if you did,

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<v Speaker 1>it's time to call your landlord. I can't stress enough

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<v Speaker 1>how much staying inside is. It's a plague on our

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<v Speaker 1>our society and culture. Because you stay inside long enough,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna say four days in a row, you'll never

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<v Speaker 1>want to go outside again. You'll convince yourself that everything

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<v Speaker 1>you need remains in your home. And yes, to a point,

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<v Speaker 1>you know you can't get in your home. The feeling

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<v Speaker 1>of meeting a stranger, Yeah, you can't do that. Number two,

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<v Speaker 1>you have to be eating and enjoying eating. What do

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<v Speaker 1>we know about rats scuing around having little cheeses, being indulgent,

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<v Speaker 1>being over indulgent. If I had a block of cheese,

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<v Speaker 1>would a rat leave half? Never? No way never. There's

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<v Speaker 1>something also very like ceremonial about eating outside. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think you can again conjure that feeling up inside. It

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<v Speaker 1>starts to get really like everyday pedestrian when it needs

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<v Speaker 1>to feel celebratory and ceremonial. Our fresco number three And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if rats do this, but this person said,

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<v Speaker 1>you need to kill the cringe, kill the part of

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<v Speaker 1>you that thinks it's too cool to enjoy things. Right

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<v Speaker 1>taking that selfie in the middle of a busy road,

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<v Speaker 1>Just do it, babe. You're gonna have the memory wearing

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<v Speaker 1>that loud outfit talking to a stranger. All of these

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<v Speaker 1>things that you've somehow told yourself are just too embarrassing

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<v Speaker 1>for you to get around being up the front at

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<v Speaker 1>a gig, in the in the moush in the pit.

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<v Speaker 1>You know you would you would never do that, You

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<v Speaker 1>would never do that. Why not? You're a rat. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a rat. We're all rats. I like Netflix and number

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<v Speaker 1>four no overthinking. I like to say, for every degree

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<v Speaker 1>of overthinking, the action must increase. Wow, I'm an overthinker,

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<v Speaker 1>But that doesn't stop the action. If anything, the action

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<v Speaker 1>quells the overthinking. The issue with overthinking is that the

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<v Speaker 1>tangents never stop. You open a new door every time,

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<v Speaker 1>so many possibilities, it's infinite. But as soon as you

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<v Speaker 1>make a decision, you close a door. You might open

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<v Speaker 1>a new one, but it's a fresh narrative. So number

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<v Speaker 1>four is neverthinking. But if you must overthink, quell it

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<v Speaker 1>with an action.

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<v Speaker 2>I like that a lot.

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<v Speaker 1>FLEXI well done, period, have a happy hot girl rat

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<v Speaker 1>summer or winter. And if you don't celebrate, that's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>To please nar be dad to your friends.

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<v Speaker 3>I was thinking in bed the other day, what are

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<v Speaker 3>some things that I wish I knew in my early twenties.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like, when decades go past, when you're in

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<v Speaker 3>your thirties, to talk about your twenties, when you're in

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<v Speaker 3>your twenties, talk about your teens. Let's normalize. Uh oh,

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<v Speaker 3>doing it like fire every five years when you're checking

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<v Speaker 3>close enough, you're so close enough to the bomb site

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<v Speaker 3>to like appreciate the waves, but you're also further enough

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<v Speaker 3>away to have a little bit of perspective.

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<v Speaker 1>So see the beauty in the debris.

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<v Speaker 3>That's exactly right, FLEXI. So I've come up with my

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<v Speaker 3>three personal things that I wish I knew in my

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<v Speaker 3>early twenties that I think would have.

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<v Speaker 2>Saved some time.

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<v Speaker 3>Number One, your wait wait for it, ladies, Oh, does

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<v Speaker 3>not determine your date ability.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>In my early twenties, she was dealing, she was going

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<v Speaker 3>through some things. It was giving a low weight fibe. Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>and tell me why I went on less dates when

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<v Speaker 3>I was quote unquote in my perfect body. Yeah, riddle

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<v Speaker 3>me that girl's Yeah. So if you are currently in

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<v Speaker 3>your state, we're thinking, oh my god, like I look

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<v Speaker 3>too much this way, or I'm gonna.

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<v Speaker 2>Lose this if I do this.

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<v Speaker 3>Trust me, girls and guys or anyone else who experiences this.

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<v Speaker 1>I sound like Rihanna.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh gender appropriations, No, whoever you are, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Truly believe that.

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<v Speaker 3>Like, if someone's gonna go shoo, they're gonna go shoe,

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<v Speaker 3>whether or not you're a size six or a size

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<v Speaker 3>whatever else.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's never like this. That's the real equality. Literally,

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<v Speaker 1>why a dating experience is so universal, babe, you can't escape.

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<v Speaker 1>What I will say though, is if you don't trust

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<v Speaker 1>yourself trust the data. Do you know you don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to be that girl who's like, oh my god, em

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<v Speaker 1>Rada got cheated on, so there's no hope. No, that

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<v Speaker 1>should excite you in the sense that if this person

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<v Speaker 1>that your pedestal as the peak of is still experiencing

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<v Speaker 1>these very human things, what does that tell you that

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<v Speaker 1>we're all subject to experiencing human things?

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<v Speaker 2>Exactly?

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<v Speaker 1>It won't. It won't guard you.

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<v Speaker 2>It won't safeguard you.

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<v Speaker 4>Girls.

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<v Speaker 2>Boys.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a good thing to learn very quickly, to be

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<v Speaker 1>affiliate known. Yeah, so I have great stories some of

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<v Speaker 1>us and a roster of hotties. I'm making out for

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<v Speaker 1>it now, I think, at least in my own mind. Yeah. Absolutely.

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<v Speaker 3>Number two, if you go to UNI, you'll get a

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<v Speaker 3>hex step. Tell me why I didn't realize when I

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<v Speaker 3>decided to go to university that hex for a thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't who didn't tell me, I don't know why

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<v Speaker 1>the tell everyone made so free.

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<v Speaker 2>So weird they didn't mention it. I think it's a

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<v Speaker 2>I think you.

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<v Speaker 1>Like when your parents were young. I feel like it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't an option anyway, it was free or something that free.

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<v Speaker 2>Here I am in UNI.

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<v Speaker 3>I never really failed any subjects just because it's not

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<v Speaker 3>my style. But there's people out here like swapping degrees,

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<v Speaker 3>like still finishing degrees.

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<v Speaker 2>That's like one hundred of thousands of dollars. So like,

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<v Speaker 2>if you're still.

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<v Speaker 1>In school and didn't be in just increase my seven

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<v Speaker 1>point reconsider university.

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<v Speaker 2>But also if you got I'm serious though.

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<v Speaker 3>Literally in my first job, I like left you need

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<v Speaker 3>to do it, and the boss would always be like,

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<v Speaker 3>you should just leave UNI. I was like, no, it's

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<v Speaker 3>like not, you know, It's like I didn't want to

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<v Speaker 3>like lose this thing that.

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<v Speaker 1>I worked really hard for optics.

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<v Speaker 3>I should have taken his advice and lastly have conviction,

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<v Speaker 3>but never say never. So I was thinking the other

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<v Speaker 3>day in the shower, isn't it funny how at every

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<v Speaker 3>single point of my life I've thought I was right,

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<v Speaker 3>but not in a righteous way, Like I never have

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<v Speaker 3>thought that I've known better than other people. I've just

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<v Speaker 3>been really clear on like I like this and I

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<v Speaker 3>like that. I haven't really been wishy washy on certain

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<v Speaker 3>moral things. Then tell me why two years after the

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<v Speaker 3>fact of something, I have a completely different understanding of

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<v Speaker 3>my life. I love them who I am, and so

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<v Speaker 3>it's a good thing to realize. Is that doesn't mean

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<v Speaker 3>don't have conviction or don't believe in certain things because

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<v Speaker 3>they're going to change, but just be prepared for the

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<v Speaker 3>personal three sixty, which is both changing your opinion and

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<v Speaker 3>changing it back and having a new lease of life

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<v Speaker 3>on that opinion and a new perspective. Prepare for that

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<v Speaker 3>however you can. I don't even know if it's possible to.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's always coming. Even when you think it's not coming,

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<v Speaker 1>it's coming. My first piece of feedback, not advice, just feedback,

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<v Speaker 1>is that you should get into the habit of learning

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<v Speaker 1>through doing, not observing. When you are in your early twenties,

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like you get into the habit of thinking

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<v Speaker 1>you know stuff because you saw some stuff, and you

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<v Speaker 1>might be thinking, what's the difference. This is what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 1>If you can't tell the difference between learning through observing

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<v Speaker 1>versus learning through doing, then that's the point in itself.

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<v Speaker 1>There's a lot of beauty you can get from preparing

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<v Speaker 1>yourself for the reality of something and shielding yourself from

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<v Speaker 1>actually having to break your own back to get invested right,

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<v Speaker 1>so you can observe your friends going to UNI. You

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<v Speaker 1>can observe a fowled relationship. You can someone buying a house,

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<v Speaker 1>but when the stakes aren't high, you don't put in

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<v Speaker 1>the effort to understand the nu answers of what's involved. Right, So, like,

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<v Speaker 1>before I bought a house, I was like, how even

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<v Speaker 1>buy a house? Exactly, babe, they're talking LMI, they're talking

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<v Speaker 1>taxes twenty percent of what what is? It's twenty percent?

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<v Speaker 1>And suddenly this thing I felt so adult to do

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<v Speaker 1>at a big age of twenty eight, I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I actually don't have any insight for this. Number two,

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<v Speaker 1>I hate to say it, Oh, everything actually matters. I

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<v Speaker 1>think that people think that being whimsical and fantastical and

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<v Speaker 1>being someone who's very pragmatic are on opposite ends of

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<v Speaker 1>the spectrum at all time. You can definitely do both.

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<v Speaker 1>But I think the thing that high school doesn't prepare

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<v Speaker 1>you for is all the things that you should be

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<v Speaker 1>practical about you become whimsical about, and all the things

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<v Speaker 1>to be whimsical about you become practical about. So you

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<v Speaker 1>become you know, friendships should be practical, and then it

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<v Speaker 1>stays in a whimsy place, and then you're like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>we're twenty one and we're not friends anymore because there's

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<v Speaker 1>no recess. It's like, yeah, because you should have been

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<v Speaker 1>practical about that, about what you want to do when

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<v Speaker 1>you leave school. Maybe be practical about that. Be whimsy

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<v Speaker 1>about like jigging one day. It's funny, whimsy, but if

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<v Speaker 1>you care about academics, then be practical. I feel as

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<v Speaker 1>though this whole concept of practical decision making I swear

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<v Speaker 1>I did not do until I was twenty three hundred percent.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, it's whatever, I can just like do

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<v Speaker 1>a bit at this and do a bit at that.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got time, and you do have so much time.

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<v Speaker 1>But what I don't think people say is how you

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<v Speaker 1>get to spend that time is very indicative of how

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<v Speaker 1>you spent it. You don't just suddenly learn academia through age.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't learn maturity just by existing. You actually have

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<v Speaker 1>to be practiced in stuff. Things matter and you should

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<v Speaker 1>figure out if and how and where they matter to you.

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<v Speaker 1>And number three or what I wish I knew. The

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<v Speaker 1>behaviors you make around friendship are defined in high school.

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<v Speaker 1>I really think they are because we come out of

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<v Speaker 1>high school and expect that these relationships that we want

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<v Speaker 1>so badly. These friendships are a byproduct of existing, Like

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<v Speaker 1>if I go to UNI, I should just make friends

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<v Speaker 1>because we all go here. If I go to work,

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<v Speaker 1>just make friends, And it's like, no, there's actually an

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<v Speaker 1>intention required. And I also feel like we're in denial

0:11:28.800 --> 0:11:30.800
<v Speaker 1>about the type of friends we are. I was saying

0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:33.920
<v Speaker 1>to free me earlier. If you've ever been someone who

0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:35.800
<v Speaker 1>was complicit in someone being kicked out of the group,

0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:37.760
<v Speaker 1>you were a bully, but you don't want to see

0:11:37.760 --> 0:11:41.720
<v Speaker 1>it that way. If you created conditional dynamics, you're probably

0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:43.760
<v Speaker 1>going to keep that with you because who's checking you

0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.040
<v Speaker 1>to make sure you're switching it up. If you were

0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:49.600
<v Speaker 1>the friend who always had a best friend, chances are

0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:51.960
<v Speaker 1>you probably going to maintain that dynamic as you get older,

0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.400
<v Speaker 1>because who's going to break the circuit. You know, if

0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:57.079
<v Speaker 1>you always had a friend group, or if you in

0:11:57.360 --> 0:11:59.520
<v Speaker 1>this friend group did stuff on the weekends, you haven't

0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:06.040
<v Speaker 1>expect So just be mindful that your expectation matches your adulthood.

0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:09.800
<v Speaker 1>Because people like my friend doesn't call me after work.

0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:14.920
<v Speaker 1>She's employed now crazy, she's not alive crazy stuff an

0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:18.240
<v Speaker 1>ata like she was when you knew her. Best I

0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:18.840
<v Speaker 1>love it Flex.

0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:19.760
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for indulging.

0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:20.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh, thank you, bab.

0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:22.480
<v Speaker 3>If you have any great tips, send them in to

0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:25.319
<v Speaker 3>Flex and Frooms at Instagram. I'd like to hear other

0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:27.520
<v Speaker 3>people's ideas of what they would say to you in

0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.000
<v Speaker 3>the early twenties. I always love these chats, very illuminating.

0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:32.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like, have fun but also be more serious. Oh,

0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:35.400
<v Speaker 1>be more serious and be more fun. That's what I

0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:36.640
<v Speaker 1>would consolidate.

0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:38.439
<v Speaker 2>Totally makes sense.

0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:46.000
<v Speaker 3>Flex and Frooms on kedas So the Lantic Getti and

0:12:46.000 --> 0:12:48.800
<v Speaker 3>coming through the Goods didn't article about why we speak

0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:50.360
<v Speaker 3>more weirdly at home. I think I read this a

0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.719
<v Speaker 3>few months ago, perhaps, But it's the idea that when

0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:55.640
<v Speaker 3>you're at home, you're speaking different languages and are more comfortable.

0:12:58.080 --> 0:12:59.880
<v Speaker 1>What it's like is like so this on when he's.

0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:03.320
<v Speaker 3>Talking about how her Turkish American boyfriend, she wanted to

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.160
<v Speaker 3>impress him and find out the way to say happy

0:13:06.200 --> 0:13:08.400
<v Speaker 3>birthday on his special day. So she learned some of

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.600
<v Speaker 3>the new vocabulary and there's like numbers and animals and

0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.000
<v Speaker 3>months to wish him. I'm not going to try and

0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:16.720
<v Speaker 3>say it, but the Turkish way of saying happy birthday,

0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:20.200
<v Speaker 3>And she said it incorrectly while they drank like pigs

0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:23.679
<v Speaker 3>in his tiny apartment. And now more than a decade later,

0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:25.960
<v Speaker 3>they still use that.

0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:29.800
<v Speaker 1>Word, the incorrect phrase. Oh that's sweet, so don't we love?

0:13:30.000 --> 0:13:33.640
<v Speaker 3>I say, get more words in your own language incorrect,

0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.040
<v Speaker 3>and then you can all have a secret language. I

0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 3>find it here on this podcast. I'll missay something. Flexie

0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:41.760
<v Speaker 3>would definitely repeat it back to me. Yeah, what is

0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.640
<v Speaker 3>a small form of bullying. But I think we're quite worthy.

0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:47.240
<v Speaker 1>People like for me and I very quick to nickname

0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 1>people to kind of like add a flare to language,

0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:54.120
<v Speaker 1>and we don't really pick and choose when that's done professionally. Personally,

0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:56.760
<v Speaker 1>it's all going to be there. I think it's nice

0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:58.440
<v Speaker 1>to know. But it's also easy to see when we're

0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:02.079
<v Speaker 1>influencing other people. When it's no longer weird anymore. Other

0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:04.120
<v Speaker 1>people are using the nicknames or accepting the way that

0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.000
<v Speaker 1>we say things or do things. It's like, this is

0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:09.200
<v Speaker 1>what happens. We are a plague and we are insecting

0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.520
<v Speaker 1>at rapid rates. It is true, and I love that.

0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:14.640
<v Speaker 3>I think this is what really sets certain movies and

0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:17.240
<v Speaker 3>TV shows apart. You can tell when someone who likes

0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:20.320
<v Speaker 3>that stuff writes a dialogue because it's successful, because not

0:14:20.800 --> 0:14:22.880
<v Speaker 3>when they do comedies like I'm pretty sure I've whatt

0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.360
<v Speaker 3>Shit's creak, and they talk to each other like how

0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:26.080
<v Speaker 3>you actually talk.

0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:28.480
<v Speaker 2>To your siblings. I think sometimes it's like people go

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.680
<v Speaker 2>into I've never really been in a writer's room for

0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:31.440
<v Speaker 2>a fiction, go.

0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:33.880
<v Speaker 1>Hey, sis, hey my top back.

0:14:34.760 --> 0:14:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Usually you're just saying, can you get my top now?

0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:42.320
<v Speaker 1>Now, you effing b I'm so sick of you. I'm

0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:45.440
<v Speaker 1>super sick of this vibe. My sister's kissing me off.

0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:49.520
<v Speaker 1>So when what it actually say is my sister's a demon,

0:14:50.400 --> 0:14:53.000
<v Speaker 1>she's a rabid wheel debase. But no, we're worried the

0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:55.760
<v Speaker 1>audience won't get it, Yeah, but they always get it

0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.840
<v Speaker 1>quickly before we go to our break. That's the issue

0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:01.200
<v Speaker 1>I had when I was writing my first book. This

0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:05.040
<v Speaker 1>like constant back and forth between like the big dogs,

0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:07.840
<v Speaker 1>the editors the book people being like people won't understand,

0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:11.520
<v Speaker 1>and I'm like the person who I'm writing this for understands.

0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.200
<v Speaker 1>If I'm saying this girl is being a demon, I

0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.720
<v Speaker 1>don't need to specify from which culture was she in?

0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:18.080
<v Speaker 4>Gin?

0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:18.640
<v Speaker 3>Was she?

0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:20.400
<v Speaker 1>It's clear?

0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.120
<v Speaker 5>Don't make me explain their why I let to spell

0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:30.359
<v Speaker 5>it out. She was actually gonna sell a way. But

0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:34.200
<v Speaker 5>there is.

0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:37.520
<v Speaker 3>An application called Grinder. It is probably as infamous as

0:15:37.520 --> 0:15:39.640
<v Speaker 3>Tinder in that it was one of the original apps,

0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:44.600
<v Speaker 3>predominantly for men who like to have relations with men.

0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:47.520
<v Speaker 3>I don't know much about it. I'd never even actually

0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:51.160
<v Speaker 3>seen the interface, despite having many what literally, I've.

0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:53.120
<v Speaker 1>Never seen the Internet is very surprising to me.

0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:54.480
<v Speaker 2>Having many.

0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:59.160
<v Speaker 3>Friends, okay, I had never once looked inside them until

0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:01.000
<v Speaker 3>I was walking on the street with a friend of

0:16:01.040 --> 0:16:02.000
<v Speaker 3>mine anonymous.

0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.280
<v Speaker 2>Anonymous, So there is no shame in being on Grinder.

0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:06.560
<v Speaker 1>There's no shame in dating.

0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:10.800
<v Speaker 3>Seriously, guys, but it's not really dating. According to this person,

0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:14.000
<v Speaker 3>he gave me the rundown on what Grinder is all about.

0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:16.040
<v Speaker 3>I'm just going to play the tape, so we are

0:16:16.080 --> 0:16:19.240
<v Speaker 3>just on a walk in von day and tell me

0:16:19.320 --> 0:16:20.360
<v Speaker 3>about Grinder.

0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:25.480
<v Speaker 4>Well, I was showing Lucinda aman'sa's and then Lucinda asked

0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:27.840
<v Speaker 4>what his name was and I didn't know, and listener

0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.480
<v Speaker 4>was shocked about that. But then I explained that when

0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:33.200
<v Speaker 4>it comes to Grinder, you don't really know anyone's names,

0:16:33.760 --> 0:16:35.440
<v Speaker 4>like you can choose to write your name in the

0:16:35.480 --> 0:16:38.160
<v Speaker 4>header but not many people do. Most people just write

0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:39.520
<v Speaker 4>like come.

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:40.320
<v Speaker 1>Dump Twink.

0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:45.000
<v Speaker 4>Because there's just this anonymity on the app that is

0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 4>different to Tinder and Hinge, a bit of a subversion

0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:50.520
<v Speaker 4>from the normal dating apps where they're so personal. But

0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:53.560
<v Speaker 4>when it comes to Grinder, it's like the antithesis of that.

0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:57.280
<v Speaker 4>It's all about the anonymity. People don't really care about

0:16:57.280 --> 0:16:59.720
<v Speaker 4>each other's info. They just walk.

0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:04.399
<v Speaker 2>I see, it's just like I first heard about the concept.

0:17:07.240 --> 0:17:10.240
<v Speaker 1>Well see, that's interesting to me because I feel like,

0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:17.400
<v Speaker 1>of course, in contrast to Grinder, traditional online dating feels personal,

0:17:17.440 --> 0:17:20.399
<v Speaker 1>but I don't think it is either. Really. I feel

0:17:20.400 --> 0:17:23.600
<v Speaker 1>like you give a lot of information, but I don't

0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 1>think it's personal because even how you choose to frame

0:17:26.880 --> 0:17:31.560
<v Speaker 1>yourself is done like through the lens of what will

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:34.800
<v Speaker 1>appeal most other people. It's very rare that people are

0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:38.359
<v Speaker 1>curating profiles that are as accurate of a reflection of

0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:43.920
<v Speaker 1>who they are as a person. I feel, no, you

0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:46.560
<v Speaker 1>you had a round table to make your pro the same,

0:17:46.880 --> 0:17:49.480
<v Speaker 1>and you know what it was important. It was important.

0:17:49.840 --> 0:17:53.359
<v Speaker 1>I feel like Grinder works because it's like threaded into

0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.800
<v Speaker 1>the way that gay people are socialized to date each other,

0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:01.040
<v Speaker 1>right but the way that heteros are socialized date, all

0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:06.880
<v Speaker 1>of the information is almost like collateral, so you have

0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:10.040
<v Speaker 1>to like step up to what you're offering. For example,

0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:13.960
<v Speaker 1>like people are so aware of like the disparity between

0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:17.280
<v Speaker 1>like heterodating and like women do this and men do this,

0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:19.760
<v Speaker 1>and I'm putting in this and you're taking this that

0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:21.840
<v Speaker 1>even before you get to finding someone you want to

0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:26.080
<v Speaker 1>match with, you're acutely aware of what the exchange is

0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:28.439
<v Speaker 1>and you want it to be fair or you want

0:18:28.480 --> 0:18:31.040
<v Speaker 1>to be getting more than you're giving, which means that

0:18:31.160 --> 0:18:34.480
<v Speaker 1>any information you put on your profile is just to

0:18:34.520 --> 0:18:36.200
<v Speaker 1>say I'm worth what I'm asking for.

0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:40.280
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I feel that most. That's why I cover up

0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:44.720
<v Speaker 3>on my arm, on my hinge. The first picture of me,

0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 3>I'll show you flex, show me the hinge. Tell me

0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:51.760
<v Speaker 3>why I've got this beautiful picture covered up the tatars

0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:53.200
<v Speaker 3>ah because.

0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:53.720
<v Speaker 1>It's like a payball.

0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:58.080
<v Speaker 3>Don't boobs just because it's like the boobs are really

0:18:58.080 --> 0:18:58.720
<v Speaker 3>present the photo.

0:18:58.720 --> 0:18:59.679
<v Speaker 2>I don't want that to be the first thing.

0:19:00.520 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 1>And it's a great photo of you.

0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:07.040
<v Speaker 2>It's a good photo that looks like me yesified, yeah, yes, fied.

0:19:07.160 --> 0:19:09.720
<v Speaker 1>But that's what flashotography will do to you, you know,

0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:12.719
<v Speaker 1>is that not what I look like? It is what

0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:14.800
<v Speaker 1>you look like, but not every day, and you probably

0:19:14.800 --> 0:19:15.840
<v Speaker 1>look like that on a date as well.

0:19:16.240 --> 0:19:20.399
<v Speaker 4>True you've been listening to The Flex and Froom's daily podcast.

0:19:20.640 --> 0:19:24.240
<v Speaker 4>For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.