Speaker 1: The Flegs and Rooms Daily Podcast.
Speaker 2: Flexing Rooms Podcast Edition. This episode is going to be
Speaker 2: super fun. As always, we go deep, not subterranean, we
Speaker 2: go shallow deep, we go.
Speaker 3: One meter pull kitty laps.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I came across this term on TikTok called blowfishing.
Speaker 2: It is in the realm of catfishing, but has to
Speaker 2: do with I'm gonna stop myself.
Speaker 4: There was that a cliphanger almost jump scares be coming
Speaker 4: because literally, when you thought you've heard it all when
Speaker 4: it comes to these dating buzzwords, we haven't even scratched
Speaker 4: the surface.
Speaker 5: So stick around.
Speaker 4: How do you feel about that one?
Speaker 3: I do like whispering?
Speaker 4: That was nice.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's get into it, Flecks and Frooms.
Speaker 2: Somebody's asking us. Let's name him Kevin. Kevin wants to
Speaker 2: know if he is the asshole for permanently deleting his
Speaker 2: girlfriend's Instagram. What do you think?
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm triggered by that, so that's a yes.
Speaker 3: Yes, listen to this.
Speaker 2: Kevin says, my girlfriend and I have been dating for
Speaker 2: five years now. He doesn't have any social media, No Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat,
Speaker 2: none of it. Says he's a private guy. Red flag
Speaker 2: and he likes keeping his personal life to himself. I
Speaker 2: understand that his girlfriend, on the other hand, is obsessed
Speaker 2: with Instagram. She has over eight hundred photos posted and
Speaker 2: is constantly scrolling through the app every waking moment she's
Speaker 2: not working or sleeping. How many photos do you have?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 4: Over one thousand, eight hundred is just regular? If you've
Speaker 4: been posting on the app since twenty thirteen, of course
Speaker 4: you got Also.
Speaker 2: You get paid be on the app. I got almost
Speaker 2: three thousand. Again I shit post, though, he said he
Speaker 2: confronted her a few times about this in the last
Speaker 2: few years, and she always says she'll cut down, but
Speaker 2: she never does. Last week, he says, she was using
Speaker 2: his laptop because her laptop was at the store and
Speaker 2: she forgot to loog out of her email, so he
Speaker 2: used this as an opportunity to do that forget the
Speaker 2: password thing, so it sets the reset password link to
Speaker 2: her account, And while he was doing that, he also
Speaker 2: googled hattedly Instagram and then deleted her account just like
Speaker 2: that gone. He says that she woke up the next
Speaker 2: day and started screaming and crying about how he in
Speaker 2: quotations he's put permanently deleted her Instagram instead of deactivating it,
Speaker 2: and that he betrayed her trust, and now she won't
Speaker 2: talk to him because she says she can't recover Instagram
Speaker 2: and a profile of ten years is lost forever. He
Speaker 2: thinks she's being incredibly childish and throwing a tantrum over
Speaker 2: some random app and wants to knows he the asshole
Speaker 2: or nah.
Speaker 4: I would be going no exaggeration, to the police, for real,
Speaker 4: if somebody deleted my Instagram that is literally ten years gone,
Speaker 4: I'd probably lash out physically. I'm not gonna lie, probably
Speaker 4: hit some things, not him, because I don't promote violence
Speaker 4: of anything.
Speaker 3: Generic.
Speaker 4: Something's getting hit. Put it that way. What does he
Speaker 4: do for a work I'd go up to his work,
Speaker 4: probably spread some rumors, find his work account, send on
Speaker 4: some really inappropriate memes, make him look like a freak,
Speaker 4: and then yeah, break up with him. Yeah, there was
Speaker 4: no way you could stay with somebody who would have
Speaker 4: the goal to delete your social media because social media
Speaker 4: isn't just social media, like that's your photo album. It's
Speaker 4: like burning down a house or the photos inside it.
Speaker 4: You can't get It's exactly that, because that's all social
Speaker 4: media is.
Speaker 6: Really.
Speaker 4: I think when you get to the bottom of it
Speaker 4: is the reason why we're chronicling everything is so that
Speaker 4: when we're sixty saggy and keep it going.
Speaker 3: I like that, sixty saggy and.
Speaker 4: Sentient, senile nice, sixty saggy, senile and barely sentient, we're
Speaker 4: gonna be looking back at our Instagram and thinking, yeah, damn,
Speaker 4: I was I slayed in Europe twenty thirteen. Yes, but
Speaker 4: now that has been completely taken away from it.
Speaker 2: I can't believe it because you can tell he's definitely
Speaker 2: conflating actual Instagram usage with posting. Yes, you know, like
Speaker 2: the memories, the eight hundred posts, totally valid. I don't
Speaker 2: think that's what he really dislikes is the fact that
Speaker 2: every waking moment she swipe, swipe.
Speaker 3: Swipe, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Speaker 2: And for that reason, I don't think he's understanding the
Speaker 2: severity of what he's just done.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because he doesn't use Instagram.
Speaker 3: He's like, whatever the photos are? There are they?
Speaker 6: So?
Speaker 2: I've got two phones. One is the personal phone, one
Speaker 2: is the profession content business phone. And on my personal phone,
Speaker 2: I've run out of iCloud space for almost like a
Speaker 2: year and a half now two years. But when that happened,
Speaker 2: my phone was on the fritz, like it kept on freezing.
Speaker 2: I could not access it to take stuff off the
Speaker 2: phone and put it elsewhere, because like couldn't live in
Speaker 2: the cloud.
Speaker 3: I couldn't take it off.
Speaker 2: So I went to the Apple store and they were like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: that sucks, so just to wipe your phone.
Speaker 3: I was like huh.
Speaker 2: They're like, yeah, we'll just have to wipe it and
Speaker 2: like maybe some stuff will come back, maybe it won't,
Speaker 2: like I don't know, okay.
Speaker 4: And you couldn't just get more cloud space.
Speaker 3: No, you can only have two terabytes you had you.
Speaker 4: Had that much content? Yeah, far roun.
Speaker 2: I'm a documentarian, babe. So the options were you get
Speaker 2: a new phone and leave this phone as is. But
Speaker 2: the reason why I couldn't do that is because my
Speaker 2: number is hooked up to so much stuff, my two
Speaker 2: factor authentication. You're just going to be far too difficult
Speaker 2: to not maintain this number. So it's like, you know what,
Speaker 2: erase it all, erase those memories from two thousand and
Speaker 2: thirteen onwards. I didn't even need them, and so they did.
Speaker 2: That's amazing, And I was surprised that I wasn't heaps
Speaker 2: attached to it, but I was like, what are we
Speaker 2: gonna do now? Like I've got no choice. But thankfully
Speaker 2: the photos did come back, some of them. Anyway, Like
Speaker 2: twenty seventeen is gone, most years are gone.
Speaker 4: But it's quite funny, yeah, because often it like all
Speaker 4: twenty all to twenty fifteen will be there and there'll
Speaker 4: be a rogue year that's like, you're not too bad.
Speaker 2: I know what they're doing anyway. So this guy gonna
Speaker 2: name Kevin is an asshole. You've definitely crossed the line.
Speaker 2: You have overreacted. You have decided that your perception of
Speaker 2: old mates' usage is better than the reality. You've done
Speaker 2: nothing to try and understand what she's going through, and
Speaker 2: you've made an irreversible decision.
Speaker 3: You're a dick. You gotta go dol Yeah, in the bin.
Speaker 1: This is flex and frooms on.
Speaker 2: Kita for me, has a bit of a confession about
Speaker 2: her ailment.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't say this is necessarily in the mental illness category,
Speaker 4: but I would say that it's adjacent. So something that
Speaker 4: I do in my brain and I want to know
Speaker 4: if other people listening get this is I will draw
Speaker 4: a picture in my head, often when I'm about to
Speaker 4: go to sleep. So basically I draw a line down
Speaker 4: the middle, get a line through it, like a cross,
Speaker 4: and then two other lines are like in between the
Speaker 4: other bits.
Speaker 3: And it's feeling great.
Speaker 4: Witch, Yeah, it is a bit hex like, and then
Speaker 4: draw a circle around them, but the circles like within
Speaker 4: the sticks. And then I do a loop down like
Speaker 4: on the on the Road spells.
Speaker 3: This is a jon of arc the witches that were burned.
Speaker 4: So it's basically like a It's a symbol that doesn't
Speaker 4: mean anything. And I do it over and over around
Speaker 4: in my head like as many times that then I feel.
Speaker 2: Really like counting sheep. Yes, And how long do you
Speaker 2: think you've done this for? Well, I can remember at
Speaker 2: least like the past five years.
Speaker 4: I don't know what. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. It
Speaker 4: just is a fluffy occurrence. Doesn't really make me feel
Speaker 4: a certain way. But I asked a whole bunch of
Speaker 4: people on Instagram.
Speaker 2: And to your point, a couple was it last week
Speaker 2: or the week before we discussed that you have this
Speaker 2: thing that you've termed pre nut synesthesia. Yes, but basically
Speaker 2: you think of certain rows when we're having discussions, not
Speaker 2: because you're at that place, we're talking about that road.
Speaker 3: It just pops up in your brain.
Speaker 4: Yes, for no reason, weird associations that don't make sense.
Speaker 4: I think it's a brain wiring thing. Anyway, I asked
Speaker 4: lots of people and they said, I think of a
Speaker 4: three D cube and what just sometimes Yeah, it's my
Speaker 4: name incursive with a specific shape for the dot on
Speaker 4: the eye. The lines of a manual gear stick from
Speaker 4: first gear to reverse, three vertical lines, one horizontal. So
Speaker 4: people have these weird like sequences that they do in
Speaker 4: their head. They're like drawings.
Speaker 2: And to your point, you're scrolling through, so you made
Speaker 2: a question box on Instagram and you have a fair
Speaker 2: few submissions here. This is not one, two or three.
Speaker 2: This could be thirty, forty, fifty sixty. And I still
Speaker 2: don't know what it is. I don't want to say
Speaker 2: I don't get it. I think I can conceptualize it,
Speaker 2: but I'm like, but when and why? But there is
Speaker 2: no when and why.
Speaker 3: It just happens.
Speaker 4: Because it just happens, because maybe it happens more when
Speaker 4: you're anxious. I don't know. Anyway, I have a friend
Speaker 4: who has agreed to be on the show, so I'm
Speaker 4: gonna give her a call.
Speaker 3: And by a friend, you may produce a B and
Speaker 3: that's okay. She can be bothered to.
Speaker 4: Hello, God, that was a quick It's almost like you're
Speaker 4: in the room next door waiting brook. So what's your story? Dool?
Speaker 5: So I do this weird thing when someone talks to me.
Speaker 5: I'll get a certain word from that sentence and then
Speaker 5: I have to draw it on my teeth with my tongue.
Speaker 1: And it's in fours.
Speaker 5: So if, for example, rooms it's seven letters, I would
Speaker 5: then feel uncomfortable because then there's one missing. So I'd
Speaker 5: have to keep going and create words to complete the.
Speaker 4: Sentence four by four.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it has to be in force otherwise I feel
Speaker 5: so uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: Have you done that today?
Speaker 6: Yeah? Oh?
Speaker 7: Constantly?
Speaker 5: Like I literally I don't even realize I'm doing it sometimes.
Speaker 4: And why do you think it's four?
Speaker 5: I hate odd numbers, so it has to be like
Speaker 5: an even number, so it could be like a ten
Speaker 5: or whatever. And then I'll put like a little space
Speaker 5: in between the words as well.
Speaker 4: Why what's this odd number? Hate?
Speaker 3: I like my favorite numbers.
Speaker 4: Can't do it? How funny?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 4: Also only have a volume on the right letter, I
Speaker 4: mean on the right number.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Once I've completed the sentence, I then draw a square
Speaker 5: with my tongue around it.
Speaker 4: See if to the person listening to this who doesn't
Speaker 4: get it flex, I don't know how to explain it
Speaker 4: beyond I know exactly what Brooke is talking about.
Speaker 2: But I love that you both know exactly what you're
Speaker 2: talking about. There must be a sense of like community
Speaker 2: happening right now. We're like, she gets me, she knows
Speaker 2: exactly what I mean.
Speaker 4: That's awesome, definitely, Well thanks Brook, Have you find some
Speaker 4: solace in this life? Oh?
Speaker 1: This is flex and frooms on.
Speaker 2: Every now and then somebody comes with a new term,
Speaker 2: a new buzz word in the dating realm, and more
Speaker 2: often than not doesn't stick.
Speaker 4: Uh huh.
Speaker 2: I think we've definitely latched onto gas lighting, love bombing
Speaker 2: and we've stopped there. Maybe there was breadcrumbing for a second.
Speaker 7: Crumbing was definitely there.
Speaker 2: Ghosting crowd favorite. A soft ghost is what I coined myself,
Speaker 2: very popular online. Yeah, you wean people off you. It's sweet,
Speaker 2: one might say, nice, not kind, but nice certainly not
Speaker 2: good not bad though debatable, let's not get into it.
Speaker 2: I came across as TikTok of somebody ready to introduce
Speaker 2: a new term to us. It's called blowfishing. Now off
Speaker 2: the dome. What do you think that means in the
Speaker 2: context of dating.
Speaker 4: Ah, inflating yourself and then pricking someone when they realize
Speaker 4: it's not real.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I forgot what blowfishing meant in my notes, and I
Speaker 2: knew there was a little TikTok to come back to
Speaker 2: so that we get surprised together.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I know it's it's something.
Speaker 2: About lying, concealing, maybe like over inflating, but I think
Speaker 2: that might be here. What does catfishing even mean?
Speaker 3: Let's well, no blood fishing.
Speaker 7: Listen to this. Have you heard the term blowfishing.
Speaker 6: It's kind of like catfishing, except instead of misrepresenting the
Speaker 6: way you look, you misrepresent your lifestyle, your income, your experience.
Speaker 7: Or your expertise.
Speaker 6: And it can be done through a very intentional manipulation
Speaker 6: of truth, or it can be done a little bit
Speaker 6: more covertly by leaving out important details that give context
Speaker 6: as to how you got from where you were to
Speaker 6: where you are now. And it's just one way that
Speaker 6: people are using manipulation in order to get more sales
Speaker 6: and book more clients or peer like they are more
Speaker 6: of an expert than they are so that they can
Speaker 6: make more money. So let me give you a real
Speaker 6: life example, because this actually happens in social media quite
Speaker 6: a bit. Let's say that there is this person. They
Speaker 6: have grown their account relatively quickly. It got into six
Speaker 6: figures relatively quickly, and they credit it to the fact
Speaker 6: that they have a really strong strategy that's organic and
Speaker 6: that anyone can accomplish. So with your limited resources, you
Speaker 6: can achieve the same results.
Speaker 7: This person has been featured in press.
Speaker 6: Yes, they've gotten interviews, and they've had the opportunity to
Speaker 6: work with maybe some interesting clients.
Speaker 2: Controversial, that was a tiktop from that Ali Mason talking
Speaker 2: about blowfishing being the new cat fishing.
Speaker 3: Very controversial.
Speaker 2: Rimy was nodding, nodding, nodding as that said it was
Speaker 2: going so blowfishing.
Speaker 4: It's interesting to me that this goes beyond dating. I
Speaker 4: find off on like breadcrumbing, this that is totally spoken
Speaker 4: about in the realm of dating. But actually you could
Speaker 4: probably use all of those not phrases or like ideas
Speaker 4: across different social interactions, like I've definitely been love bombed
Speaker 4: by someone a friend and then they've yeated off to
Speaker 4: a new friend.
Speaker 2: And that's a pattern of their Oh yeah, yeah, you're
Speaker 2: the favorite friend.
Speaker 4: Yeah the moment, Yeah yeah, flavor the month. What is
Speaker 4: with those people?
Speaker 2: I'm not sure and I don't think it's a bad thing.
Speaker 2: I've definitely had a favorite person, but they've turned out
Speaker 2: to be, you know, lifelong friends. Like Grace is my
Speaker 2: favorite person, she stayed.
Speaker 3: I just think.
Speaker 2: It's it's tricky, but to the point of blow fissue.
Speaker 2: When we were talking about our podcast stats and how
Speaker 2: what is that start? Where like the sixth most listened
Speaker 2: to podcast in the way yeah, very can which is.
Speaker 4: The biggest network in Australia in terms.
Speaker 2: Of Oh, it's huge, it's a great stat But I
Speaker 2: was telling you about how some podcast people will say
Speaker 2: that they've had a million listens, knowing that the average
Speaker 2: person will think that a million listens means a million
Speaker 2: individual people, whereas you could have had ten thousand people
Speaker 2: listen one hundred thousand times or a million people listen once.
Speaker 2: But because people will go with their interpretation of it,
Speaker 2: which is usually more positive than the reality of it,
Speaker 2: very blow fishy thing to do.
Speaker 4: Interesting? Do we want to docs?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Never, but yes to the point of blowfishing. Have you
Speaker 2: experienced that or have you blowfished in the dating context?
Speaker 4: I've definitely blowfished. Oh yeah, inflated my age?
Speaker 3: How do you do that?
Speaker 4: I don't know. Just take my pea plates down? What
Speaker 4: I think we're spaking about this? I swear all these
Speaker 4: stories I've told before. Yeah, I used to take I
Speaker 4: was dating a guy, yeah, who turned out to be
Speaker 4: my boyfriend. But I didn't want him to know how
Speaker 4: old I was or how young I was, So I
Speaker 4: just take my pea plates down. Who pick him up
Speaker 4: in my car with my little green peaplates on?
Speaker 2: You picking up your older boyfriend in your car plates?
Speaker 2: So he thinks you're older than you are. He didn't
Speaker 2: know how old you are.
Speaker 3: Nah, I don't.
Speaker 4: Speak about it for like six months, willful ignorance.
Speaker 3: This is the same one surf dive and speak Okay,
Speaker 3: this poor man.
Speaker 4: It's like we're out of each other's lives away.
Speaker 3: I'm ring home this story.
Speaker 4: I think he is a great person. But yes, this
Speaker 4: is all the same person. It just so happens that
Speaker 4: these are great fodder stories. It's actually not a representation
Speaker 4: or reflection on him. But yes, I'm doging him. If
Speaker 4: you knew him, you'd probably love him. Yeah, I would
Speaker 4: take my pea plates down and also would say, yep,
Speaker 4: like I've got this job. I've had this job for
Speaker 4: this amount of time, the kaya job in reality, been
Speaker 4: doing it for three months.
Speaker 3: Well you're good.
Speaker 4: I was a complete blowfisher, which I think. Yeah, it's
Speaker 4: different to catfishing because I think a lot of the
Speaker 4: time blowfishing comes from a place of wanting to impress
Speaker 4: the person, not.
Speaker 3: You justifying it.
Speaker 2: I can imagine that if people were fish, it would
Speaker 2: be for a very good reason. I noticed a lot
Speaker 2: of blowfishing, specifically with people who say they work in
Speaker 2: tech because they know that we think they're building apps
Speaker 2: and selling them to lassion. Whereas if you just happen
Speaker 2: to work in a facility that makes tech product and
Speaker 2: you work at the call center, like sure, you work
Speaker 2: in a tech environment, but people know they amp that up,
Speaker 2: similar to like I work in media that one because
Speaker 2: you know people are like, oh, okay, well so you
Speaker 2: are what like the head of creative at a SO
Speaker 2: and so. No, you run a casual podcast that's okay,
Speaker 2: but it's a blowfishy thing to do.
Speaker 1: Do you think so?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 4: I think it's only blowfishy if you yourself put emphasis
Speaker 4: on a certain area. So like tech didn't used to
Speaker 4: be cool, Tech was nerdy before media. I guess media
Speaker 4: has always been kind of cool.
Speaker 5: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I would say I feel like, you know, it's blowfishing
Speaker 2: because especially when you're talking to random people, they like
Speaker 2: to provide little nuggets of flex to make you feel
Speaker 2: like they're a good partner. And so there are key
Speaker 2: words or phrases that you'll say that give a person
Speaker 2: the impression that you are more eligible than not. Like
Speaker 2: saying you work in hospitality definitely comes across better than
Speaker 2: I'm a bartender.
Speaker 3: They're the same thing.
Speaker 2: One just has a bit of a flare to it,
Speaker 2: saying you work in law versus I'm a lawyer, but
Speaker 2: you just work at the law place as a janitor.
Speaker 2: It's okay, but you know what you're doing. And if
Speaker 2: there's a whole term for it must be rampant on
Speaker 2: the apps. I like this, you like it?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I like this term.
Speaker 4: I think this is finding a way to talk about something.
Speaker 2: That a lot of people do you included a lot
Speaker 2: of people, a lot of people, party of ones, Karen
Speaker 2: Fruits Rice.
Speaker 1: You're listening to Flex and Frooms on Kida.
Speaker 2: Last week we talked about how you can't name your
Speaker 2: child Linda or Sandra in Saudi Arabia for various reasons.
Speaker 2: But they have a list of illegal names eventually that
Speaker 2: aren't keeping on the culture, or they're alluding to too
Speaker 2: much celebrity or whatever it might be. But today I
Speaker 2: want to tell you about what you can't name a
Speaker 2: kid in New Zealand. Oh we haven't Zelander in the
Speaker 2: room as well, Brook, we do got the quota up,
Speaker 2: so listen to this. You cannot name your child Lucifer
Speaker 2: sex fruit, sex fruit, yes, mafia, no fear, or anal.
Speaker 4: Baby, anal little baby Lucifer.
Speaker 2: And look, I would love to understand when, how and
Speaker 2: why the government jumps and says yeah, Na, that's not
Speaker 2: gonna work for us, because in some instances, like if
Speaker 2: Elon Musk can name his kid symbols and letters and
Speaker 2: have that somehow miraculously be pronounced as ash, I would
Speaker 2: imagine there would be some lee with words like Lucifer,
Speaker 2: like baby Lucy that can't be Anyway.
Speaker 4: The Lucifer one I find interesting because obviously it means
Speaker 4: the devil in some cultures Christianity, I believe. But Lucifer
Speaker 4: was a name before it was the devil's name, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean. Jesus was a name before Jesus.
Speaker 4: Beyonce was a name before Beyonce. So just because these
Speaker 4: people have taken that name and claimed it should mean
Speaker 4: that you can't call your baby Lucifer.
Speaker 2: So what Fris means to say is that cultural context
Speaker 2: does not matter when naming children.
Speaker 3: Gives the damn.
Speaker 4: It's just it's just a combination of letters. Lucifer is
Speaker 4: a nice name. Objectively, what would you name your kid allegedly.
Speaker 3: M it's a good one.
Speaker 4: I see you with allegedly alas yeah, and then I
Speaker 4: as the first name, and then the middle name is Digress.
Speaker 3: That's beautiful.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flex and Frims Daily podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, need on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.