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Speaker 1: Hi, it's Petrina Jones. Okay, I'll admit to being all

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Speaker 1: fan girl with my new BFF Cheeker keyboard. In the

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Speaker 1: last episode of Rage Against the Menopause, I mean, who

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Speaker 1: could blame me? It was like catching up with a

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Speaker 1: lifelong girlfriend. We talked turning the big fifty, readjusting to

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Speaker 1: an empty nest when your kids leave home, and the

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Speaker 1: liberation of learning to tell people no. Finally, if you

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Speaker 1: no doubt love part one, then this second installment will

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Speaker 1: leave you feeling truly empowered. Cheka tells me how she

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Speaker 1: took charge of her menopause journey and encourages the rest

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Speaker 1: of us to do the same. Queen Chica is back.

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Speaker 1: Poor a drink, sit back and enjoy menopause. It's coming

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Speaker 1: for you no matter what. Let's build a village of support.

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Speaker 2: Why is it so damn hot in here?

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Speaker 1: Menopause is so hot right now?

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Speaker 2: I think them fly and menopause.

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Speaker 1: Women just want to feel hurt. Rage against the Menopause

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Speaker 1: And I'm not taking anything, and maybe maybe I should be.

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Speaker 2: Look, I have to tell you it's a total game changer. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And are you do? You have the night sweats and

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Speaker 2: the and it's got.

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Speaker 1: You know what I hate Now I do my makeup

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Speaker 1: and I have to get a tissue because I'm okay.

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Speaker 2: So literally, for me, I was waking up saturated. Just

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Speaker 2: go and I. The first time it happened, I thought,

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Speaker 2: am I sick? What strong infection or something? There's something wrong.

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Speaker 2: Then I worked it out, but as soon as I

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Speaker 2: went on to my gel its three days, I fell

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Speaker 2: back to my normal self. So I would say, and

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying or go to the doctor, have a

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Speaker 2: chat and just see. Because the number of my girlfriends,

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Speaker 2: because I'm so open about talking about it, have who

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Speaker 2: have called me up and said, I don't know what

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Speaker 2: to do, And I just think our doctors have to

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Speaker 2: be there to help us. And I know a lot

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Speaker 2: of doctors kind of push it aside, but they're getting

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Speaker 2: more and more understanding towards it, so I feel like,

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's I find when you have that. It's

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Speaker 1: not every night, but when you do have those hot flushes,

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Speaker 1: it's exhausted. It drains the life blood out of you.

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Speaker 2: What is it. I was sitting next to a lady

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Speaker 2: at a dinner and she literally went, I've never seen

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Speaker 2: anyone's skin just break her, and I said to you, okay,

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Speaker 2: she says, oh my god, I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: And I said, just fan yourself and or go outside,

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Speaker 2: do whatever you have to do to come down, because

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Speaker 2: it's like an internal fire. It is.

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Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, it's hard to just like opulear power plant. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: right down the like a center rod down the middle of.

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Speaker 2: Your body correct and you think, how is this happening?

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Speaker 1: And you know you can't even enjoy a glass of wine.

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Speaker 2: Kind of joy anything actually.

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Speaker 1: Because it just it sets the flushes off.

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Speaker 2: Well, I found that my anxiety, which was I felt,

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Speaker 2: was about only myself, like I was doubting everything I

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Speaker 2: was doing. Yes, hated who I was. It was being

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Speaker 2: so mean and nasty to me, and I thought, I

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Speaker 2: don't like this is not who I am, and I

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Speaker 2: need to fix it. The only person that can fix

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Speaker 2: it is me, So get out there and do some homework.

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Speaker 1: But the self doubt, the self doubt, and a time

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Speaker 1: in your life where.

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Speaker 2: You don't need that on top of everything else, need that,

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Speaker 2: on top of putting on a bit of extra weight

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Speaker 2: that you can't move, or your boobs are changing and

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Speaker 2: getting bigger and all those things. So No, it's not fun. No,

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Speaker 2: but you can. You can definitely change it. Oh, you

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Speaker 2: give me so much hope in but you do need

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Speaker 2: to just you know what, I think. You just need

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Speaker 2: to check in with your doctor, get every test you can.

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Speaker 1: How did you find Speaking of diet, did you change

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Speaker 1: your diet.

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Speaker 2: And everything from you know, doing two meals a day

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Speaker 2: to fasting to keto exercise whatever I could do, But

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Speaker 2: it's really that mid section. It's just changing. And my

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Speaker 2: boobs have definitely grown, like I've definitely gone up a

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Speaker 2: couple of sizes. And that's the bit I don't like, Like,

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Speaker 2: I just want to be well, I'm never going to

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Speaker 2: be able to go backwards. But it's funny how your

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Speaker 2: head becomes so great and you understand everything. Your body

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Speaker 2: doesn't catch up with that.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, oh my head just seems messy all the time,

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Speaker 1: and you know that fogginess. I promise you go on

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Speaker 1: to that HRT.

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Speaker 2: And and I'm also an not being a big advert

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying you should do it because there's many alternatives,

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Speaker 2: but I do feel like in such a short amount

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Speaker 2: of time, I was back into control and switch. Yeah yeah, wow, yeah,

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Speaker 2: So what else did you do so I did well,

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Speaker 2: obviously I did that. I did the Marina, which was

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Speaker 2: the slow estrogen ye, the progesterone tablet. And then I've

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Speaker 2: just started doing nice things for myself, go for a walk,

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Speaker 2: put my ear pods on. I never did stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: I was always on the phone or doing things, just

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Speaker 2: giving myself some quiet time. I'm a massive reader, and

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Speaker 2: I'd come home sometimes at three o'clock in the afternoon

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Speaker 2: and go, you know what, you are allowed to sit

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Speaker 2: on the couch and read if you want to, or

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Speaker 2: watch TV or whatever it is. You get in your

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Speaker 2: head all these things that you're not meant to do. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so you suddenly have these.

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Speaker 1: Rules productive with my time. I've got a time to

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Speaker 1: sit and read a book for two hours.

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Speaker 2: Correct, But yeah, exactly what's not what's going to change?

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Speaker 2: And look, I, as I was saying to you just

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Speaker 2: before we went on to doing this, I'm so ainly organized.

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Speaker 2: Yet I have everything really literally set up ready to go.

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Speaker 2: So giving those little moments to myself, even if it's

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Speaker 2: making a cup of tea and buying a book, or

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Speaker 2: buying a magazine and sitting and reading it, or getting

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Speaker 2: on my iPad looking at Pinterest, all those things are

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Speaker 2: really nurturing and they're nice things to do so and

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Speaker 2: I also too, made a massive effort with my girlfriends,

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Speaker 2: picking up the phone, chatting to them, seeing where they're at,

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Speaker 2: checking in all that kind of.

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Speaker 1: I think that's been my greatest area of support is girlfriends,

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Speaker 1: which is part of the idea of what I thought,

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Speaker 1: I need to do a podcast on this and start

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Speaker 1: talking about it because women want it, women need it, yes,

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Speaker 1: and they do. They need it. They need that support.

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Speaker 1: We need to build this village and so women feel heard.

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Speaker 1: I just had a beautiful message on Instagram at the weekend.

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Speaker 1: There was a woman she was a nurse, and she

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Speaker 1: said she had a female supervisor who had a go

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Speaker 1: at her and she said, when I look back, it

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Speaker 1: was I was going through perimenopause and I just wasn't

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Speaker 1: wasn't coping. And she said, thank you for making me

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Speaker 1: feel heard scene and I feel so much better about

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Speaker 1: myself and not so hard on myself.

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Speaker 2: That's really nice.

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Speaker 1: But that's the thing. I think we need to support

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Speaker 1: each other and to know that while it is different

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Speaker 1: for everyone, there's a lot of common threads that we

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Speaker 1: that we're going through and it's okay. You know. The

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Speaker 1: thing when I had Audrey, I was an older mum.

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Speaker 1: I was thirty nine, and I really dreaded going to

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Speaker 1: mother's group. Yes, really dreaded it.

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Speaker 2: I dreaded it too, really.

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Speaker 1: And I said, and it's nothing about being elitist or

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Speaker 1: thinking you're better that. It's got nothing to do with that.

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Speaker 1: But I said to my husband, I will go to one.

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Speaker 1: I will. I'll give it a chance, but I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure it's going to be for me. And I thought

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Speaker 1: they're going to be really young mums because our area

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Speaker 1: it's predominantly younger girls. Have you know, it's thirty nine. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: I went and we all sat in a circle and

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Speaker 1: introduced ourselves and they were putting this sort of glow

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Speaker 1: around the whole. You know, everything's one so easy. Oh

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Speaker 1: I love being a mother. It's just it's everything i'd

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Speaker 1: hoped and wished for. And I'm thinking, while I was lucky,

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Speaker 1: Audrey was a pretty easy bait. She was six weeks

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Speaker 1: prim though, but we'd had five years of trying to

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Speaker 1: get pregnant. I'm trying to get pregnant and repeated miscarriages,

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Speaker 1: and it was I was just glad to be across

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Speaker 1: the line. It's just, you know. And I was honest

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Speaker 1: and it got to me and I said, well, you

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Speaker 1: know what, I'm actually really struggling because I've done full

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Speaker 1: time work in radio for twenty plus years. I've worked

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Speaker 1: full time since UNI, and now all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: while I'm very grateful because.

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Speaker 2: I've had to work because it's been my dream.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and finally I'm on Matt leave, which I never

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Speaker 1: thought i'd get to try. It's actually not what I

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Speaker 1: thought it would be.

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Speaker 2: I completely understand that because I was I was young,

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Speaker 2: and when I had CHESSI and I think I was

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Speaker 2: twenty four or twenty five, and I didn't have any

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Speaker 2: friends that had children. No, and I didn't have fun.

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Speaker 2: I had a really tough time. I broke my cocksix

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Speaker 2: having her. I think I also had postnatal depression, which

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Speaker 2: no one talked again, another conversation that no one talked

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Speaker 2: about thirty years ago, and I struggled. Bruce used to

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Speaker 2: walk out the door and I used to grab him, crying,

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Speaker 2: go please, don't leave me. And then when I got

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Speaker 2: pregnant with be Jan and I went to my doctor

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Speaker 2: and explained what was happening. He said, why didn't you come?

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Speaker 2: And I said, because I thought I was meant to

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Speaker 2: be coping. No one listens to me when I was

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Speaker 2: a failure. Yeah, because everyone's like, oh, it's so exciting,

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Speaker 2: it's so wonderful. No, it was hard. I couldn't feed her,

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Speaker 2: and then the judgment or the judgment god from the

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Speaker 2: mothercraft nurses. She came into the hospital. She said to Bruce,

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Speaker 2: your wife has to breastfeed, he said, but she I

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Speaker 2: couldn't see because of my broken cocksicks, he said, but

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Speaker 2: it's not happening. I don't want her to be crying

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Speaker 2: because she feels like this is not good enough. So

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Speaker 2: there's always this pressure of everyone comparing us to everybody else.

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Speaker 2: You're right, it's not good.

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Speaker 1: We had so as I said, Audre was six weeks prayer,

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Speaker 1: I had pre clamps ya. She was strong as an ox.

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Speaker 1: Though she was so strong, she was in the Humidi

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Speaker 1: crip for like an hour. Chic, it was inside.

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Speaker 2: That's why she's the woman she is today.

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Speaker 1: Girl. Anyway, you know, I got big boot and so

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Speaker 1: when they were trying to you know, how stupid am I?

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Speaker 1: I was brought up around babies my whole life I

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Speaker 1: just thought you put them on your boob, but.

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Speaker 2: I think we all thought that though. I just thought,

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Speaker 2: it's just.

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Speaker 1: You're just gonna have boob and they latch on and

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Speaker 1: da da da no no. Anyway, so I had these big,

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Speaker 1: like sherriff.

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Speaker 2: Size boobs and cracked nipples.

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Speaker 1: So tiny because she was prim and I said to Chris,

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Speaker 1: my god, I'm gonna.

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Speaker 2: Likes are bigger than the baby swashhad.

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Speaker 1: Anyway, then this you know, lactation specialist came in. They're

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Speaker 1: not all negatively, they're not. But my experience wasn't great,

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Speaker 1: and she was getting really frustrated, and Audrey was screaming

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Speaker 1: the nursery down. I just had nothing. I would express

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Speaker 1: for like an hour through the night and I'd get

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Speaker 1: like twenty minutes not.

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Speaker 2: Enough, very ridiculous. So it wasn't for you, like what

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Speaker 2: are these for?

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Speaker 1: If I can't if I got a breastfeed? What a

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Speaker 1: waste their fum bags?

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Speaker 2: What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: It's like everything I thought, it goes back to everything

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Speaker 1: that you think it's going correct, it's not.

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Speaker 2: Because so many things weren't talked about. No, like they

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Speaker 2: were not talked about. That's it. It's funny. I had

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Speaker 2: my mum and her girlfriend for lunch a couple of

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Speaker 2: weeks ago, and I don't know why I said something

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Speaker 2: about menopause, but I did. A mum's friend went, we

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Speaker 2: don't talk about that. I said, oh no, I mean

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Speaker 2: they're both in their mid eighties, god loveless. And she's like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: we don't talk. No, we do talk about it. That's

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Speaker 2: how we get our information.

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Speaker 1: We do.

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Speaker 2: So babies, pregnancy, menopause, teenagers getting their periods, all that

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Speaker 2: sort of stuff.

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Speaker 1: You got to talk about it, absolutely, And that's the

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Speaker 1: thing we talk about, conception, pregnancy and birth. Why don't

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Speaker 1: we talk about menopause?

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Speaker 2: It should be just well, did you know what I

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Speaker 2: heard this the other day? You probably already know this.

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Speaker 2: But when doctors are studying and learning, they get one

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Speaker 2: tutorial on menopause sixty that's it.

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Speaker 1: Out of the menopause inquiry. Yeah, who, I've spoken to

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Speaker 1: Senator Waters, she'll feature in this series sixty minutes. It's

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Speaker 1: extremely their entire medical degree.

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Speaker 2: Yep, yep. So no wonder, no one knows what's I know.

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Speaker 1: No wonder we're walking around blind like it is exactly.

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Speaker 1: I think it's up to our generation to break that chain.

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Speaker 2: Couldn't agree with you more and you.

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Speaker 1: Know, and I'm sure your daughter will benefit from you

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Speaker 1: being as open about it, and I think.

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Speaker 2: And I also wanted to make sure my son understood

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Speaker 2: as well, exactly because at some point his supports partner exactly.

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Speaker 2: They need to know that it's normal. It's part of life.

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Speaker 2: It's just the same as having it. It's not the same.

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Speaker 2: But you know the concept of when you go through

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Speaker 2: a baby, which you do together, this is something you

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Speaker 2: need to go through together as well.

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Speaker 1: So our dads are so much more involved now, correct,

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Speaker 1: you know, yep, there's so much more hands on, thank goodness.

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Speaker 2: Thank goodness. Me and my Bruce, I think was one

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Speaker 2: of you know, he was in there obviously when I

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Speaker 2: had CHESSI but no one loved that child more than him.

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Speaker 2: He'd go into the nursery and push all the other

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Speaker 2: babies aside, and the nurses would say, you know, mister Keyble,

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Speaker 2: you can't do that because other fathers sick, their babies

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Speaker 2: are beautiful as well, and they need to be in

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Speaker 2: the center too. Yes, but look at her, she's so beautiful,

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Speaker 2: cheers beautiful. She has these amazing like little bow lips.

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Speaker 1: She's still got beautiful lip.

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Speaker 2: She's got great lips, those little lips sticking out if

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Speaker 2: she was a.

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Speaker 1: Cute opportunity to check curly hair.

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Speaker 2: She's got curly hair. I've got curly hair too, So

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Speaker 2: she's like me, yeah, I spent my life straight to

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Speaker 2: the humidity. Well look at this, I have to put

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Speaker 2: in a puny shot down and all the little bits

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Speaker 2: come out and you're like, oh please, I know, but

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Speaker 2: you always look good. You're gorgeous.

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Speaker 1: So you are full on metopause. Now, yes, you're through that.

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Speaker 1: And you're saying that there is light at the.

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Speaker 2: End of the time. I promise you there is light

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Speaker 2: at the end of the tunnel. And I think you

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Speaker 2: just have to take every day, week, month, whatever it is,

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Speaker 2: as it comes, and just allow yourself to, you know,

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Speaker 2: deal with whatever it is, and just you know, get

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Speaker 2: your blood tested if you need to. And I think

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Speaker 2: the thing for me about being on HRT that I

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Speaker 2: really I suppose it's the positive, is that my doctor

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Speaker 2: is amazing at making sure I'm constantly getting my boobs

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Speaker 2: checked and having blood tests to check where everything's out,

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Speaker 2: the hormones, that my thyroid or the rest of pature

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Speaker 2: on the blocks.

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Speaker 1: No, yes, yes, all the other It's like fifty plasets too.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I feel like it's funny. I had to have

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Speaker 2: a hit replacement a year ago, and you know when

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Speaker 2: you go into hospital and they have this entire list

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Speaker 2: of all the things, do you have this? This? This?

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Speaker 2: I had no against every one of them. And I

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Speaker 2: said to the nurse, never in my life did I

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Speaker 2: know how good that would feel? And she said, do

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Speaker 2: you know how rare it is that we get a

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Speaker 2: patient like you that's got no problems, fit wealthy young.

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Speaker 2: I'm very, very lucky. But I do look after myself.

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Speaker 2: So as soon as there's a problem, I do go

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Speaker 2: and get it looked at. So creston, don't procrastinate, not

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Speaker 2: on something small. But if you know something's not quite right.

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Speaker 1: And you always relase sense, don't you you do?

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Speaker 2: Do you know when something's not quite right?

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Speaker 1: How's the hip after the replacement? How was the recovery?

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, it's so strange. I had gone. I've

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Speaker 2: always had a lower back problem or my entire life,

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Speaker 2: and I've seen every back doctor. I've had quartzone injections,

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Speaker 2: I've had nerves burnt out, everything done, and I went

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Speaker 2: to this amazing doctor to get an infusion, you know,

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Speaker 2: like a vitamin infusion. And when I walked in, he

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Speaker 2: said to me, you've got a problem with your hip

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Speaker 2: and I said, oh, no, it's my back. He said, no,

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Speaker 2: it's your hip. I want you to go and get it.

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Speaker 2: MRI went off and had that done and the result

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Speaker 2: came back that it was completely crumbled inside. I hiped

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Speaker 2: his place since the day I was born, and no

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Speaker 2: one had picked up on it. And my surgeon said,

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Speaker 2: I cannot believe you're actually.

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Speaker 1: You're walking the way you are.

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Speaker 2: So the first that was a year ago that I

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Speaker 2: had the right side done. My back has not like

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Speaker 2: the change. It's been a tough change just getting the

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Speaker 2: balance in the adjust and I have to do the

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Speaker 2: other side at some point just because they're both crappy bush.

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Speaker 2: I feel like a new woman. It has taken longer

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Speaker 2: than I expected, but no, I feel really really good

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Speaker 2: and I appreciate now. I lie in bed in the

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Speaker 2: morning every morning I lie there and I go, how

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Speaker 2: are you feeling? Yes, I go do a bit of

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Speaker 2: quick little feet What hurts today? Feet, legs hips, back, head,

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Speaker 2: nope or good jump?

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Speaker 1: Out of bed and it's not whereas before prior.

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Speaker 2: Well, this is lived on painkillers.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this is my left here.

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Speaker 2: Have you had it looked at?

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Speaker 1: No, just got the physio.

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Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no you need I've got sa I

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Speaker 2: think No, no, no no, that's exactly what I had as well.

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Speaker 2: So my surgeon said to me that because of my age,

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Speaker 2: there was a whole generation of mainly women actually, that

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Speaker 2: were missed out on being told that they had this

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Speaker 2: displace yet, so you never know you might actually have

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Speaker 2: a hip problem. This way to just go get an MRI.

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Speaker 2: Just add that to the list when you go to

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Speaker 2: the doctor.

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Speaker 1: Oh, the long, everbody list, the ever growing list. Tell me,

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Speaker 1: I'm dying to know. And I know you can't give

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Speaker 1: away any trade secrets. But BJ, your son's wedding, it's

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Speaker 1: scheduled for next year, Yes, and it's going to be

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Speaker 1: in Australia, Yes it is. And your excitement level.

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Speaker 2: I am so excited, Bruce and I are so excited.

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Speaker 2: But we've just had them both here, and we've had

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Speaker 2: Beja's partner's family here as well, and we've done a

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Speaker 2: whole sort of show them everything and gone through it all.

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Speaker 2: And you know what, it's really very reant my element

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Speaker 2: and I even Bruce was like, now what are you

360
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Speaker 2: gonna wear? I said, oh am, I going toware There's

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Speaker 2: another thing I haven't even thought about. But I think

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Speaker 2: when you have children that you've watched go up and

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Speaker 2: helps get through all the trials and tribulations of life,

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Speaker 2: then they meet that person. And to see my son

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Speaker 2: as happy as he is with a woman who I

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Speaker 2: could not have chosen better myself, who brings out the

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Speaker 2: best in him and supports and loves him gorgeous and

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Speaker 2: unfortunately he had a really nasty accident last year. He

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Speaker 2: was sit by a car. How he's doing great, but

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Speaker 2: it has been a long recovery. But she showed me

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Speaker 2: what an amazing woman she is because she rang me.

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Speaker 2: She was on the you know, sending us information because

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Speaker 2: obviously we're having to get across to London, which wasn't

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Speaker 2: exactly around the corner. But that's when I realized this girl,

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Speaker 2: she's a real deal. She's the real deal. And that

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Speaker 2: makes my heart sing because I love seeing the man

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Speaker 2: that he is with her. So yeah, it's pretty special.

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Speaker 2: So I want to give them the world.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm not surprised with parents like you and Bruce.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you've given them such a beautiful example and

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Speaker 1: obviously a beautiful nurturing upbring.

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Speaker 2: Although the most my family is so important to me,

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Speaker 2: like the crazy world that we live in. They are

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Speaker 2: my rocks and my stability, and they're the ones that

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00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,720
Speaker 2: have helped support me. And you know, Chessie lives in

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Speaker 2: LA and I FaceTime every single day.

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Speaker 1: How you do it? Don't?

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Speaker 2: I can't even It's heartbreaking because I do miss them.

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Speaker 2: I miss them so much, but madly they're living their best.

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Speaker 1: Lives and that brings you to it correct.

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Speaker 2: And you know what the great thing about technology today

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Speaker 2: is JESSI will be on FaceTime and her boyfriend's in

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Speaker 2: the back, so I get to say hello to him,

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Speaker 2: or a girlfriend will come over and you know, they'll

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Speaker 2: talk to me. And then I had her thirtieth last year,

396
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Speaker 2: which she invited me and we went to Costa Rica

397
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Speaker 2: and there was me, fifty five year old Cheeka with

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Speaker 2: twenty thirty year olds and I remember at one point

399
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Speaker 2: sitting in the pool going, oh my god, what is

400
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Speaker 2: going on here? But I loved it because they've all

401
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 2: kept in contact. There's a little group WhatsApp, and I said,

402
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Speaker 2: please don't take me off this. I love listening and

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Speaker 2: watching the conversation, so I do get to be a

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Speaker 2: part of her world in a different way.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, that's that's the thing you've got to understand.

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Speaker 1: And I can feel that movement with Audrey. Now is

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Speaker 1: that Chris and I have found we've had to change

408
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Speaker 1: our style of parenting, not necessarily just back off, but

409
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Speaker 1: just tost as she's adjusting. We all need to sort

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Speaker 1: of do that together.

411
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Speaker 2: And I think as long as she understands that you're

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Speaker 2: trying as well, yes, because you know, I feel sometimes

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Speaker 2: as parents we think it's our way or the highway,

414
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Speaker 2: but I think it's really important for kids to understand

415
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,640
Speaker 2: when also not perfect though sometimes we will make mistakes.

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Speaker 2: And for me, it was really important when that happened

417
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Speaker 2: that i'd say to my kids, I'm sorry, yes I

418
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Speaker 2: had a really bad day or something happened and I

419
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Speaker 2: took it out on you, or I'm sorry that I

420
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Speaker 2: wasn't there for you the right thing that I correct

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Speaker 2: because then it allows them to do the same thing

422
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Speaker 2: that's right. So it's a good example for them. But

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Speaker 2: you know, it's an extraordinary time when you're all adjusting

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Speaker 2: to the changes extraordinary time.

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Speaker 1: That's what it's like, dicey, And I think, like I've

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Speaker 1: just got on the train at fortite, how long does

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Speaker 1: it go for.

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Speaker 2: It keeps going? I think it just changes. Like it's

429
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 2: still they're more independent and they're doing their thing, but

430
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Speaker 2: they still rely on you for them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

432
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 2: I don't want to ever lose that though. No, no,

433
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,679
Speaker 2: And it's funny. I now really make an effort if

434
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,639
Speaker 2: be or chessy call me, and if I'm in the

435
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,960
Speaker 2: middle of something, I will say excuse me, and I'll

436
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:11,920
Speaker 2: go do yeah.

437
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,400
Speaker 1: Because it's something more important than that.

438
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,320
Speaker 2: And I probably didn't do enough of that as they

439
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,760
Speaker 2: were growing up. And I suppose that's my guilt that

440
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 2: I worked full time, and I'm sure you understand it is,

441
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,719
Speaker 2: but you feel guilty because you've had to, you know,

442
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 2: miss out on a sporting event because you've got to

443
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 2: set up a party, or you miss out on I

444
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,440
Speaker 2: don't know, making lunches or whatever because you have to

445
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 2: get up early in the morning. But then I feel

446
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,920
Speaker 2: like I look at my two children and they're extraordinary

447
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 2: work ethic, and I know it's because of what they've seen,

448
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,240
Speaker 2: so you know good and the bad. It may not

449
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,159
Speaker 2: happen straight away, but you will see it reflect on

450
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 2: the other side.

451
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,119
Speaker 1: I've had that probably the last I reckon twelve months,

452
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:52,480
Speaker 1: that pang of guilt of oh, you know, I didn't

453
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,640
Speaker 1: see the violin it assembling when she was doing violin

454
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 1: and that's gone, yeah, or you know, I don't know,

455
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,760
Speaker 1: talking at as simple the little the little Chris was there,

456
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,479
Speaker 1: one of us was there, and we sort of figured

457
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 1: that's why I went back to breakfast radio because I

458
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 1: was doing drive. But I went back. I thought, well,

459
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 1: this would be good because Chris will be there in

460
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 1: the morning and that's still our sort of brand now.

461
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,560
Speaker 1: And then I'm out to me even though I'm comatose

462
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 1: and half asleep, but there's always a constant.

463
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 2: There for her.

464
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 1: And look, you do what you think is the best

465
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 1: at the time.

466
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 2: You do what you are capable of doing in your

467
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 2: life at that time too. But you know, I always say,

468
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 2: the best advice I have is to keep her friends

469
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,760
Speaker 2: as close to you as possible too, so that you

470
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 2: know what's going on, and they're in the car talking

471
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 2: and you hear what's happening, because they're the things that

472
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 2: are really important. Used to make sure that when I

473
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,399
Speaker 2: was driving Beja to rugby practice and i'd take all

474
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:47,600
Speaker 2: the other boys, you'd just be listening, and yeah, they

475
00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 2: would know that you were there. And it's funny. I

476
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 2: was looking at my Instagram the other day and so

477
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 2: many of my kids' friends are still on my Instagram

478
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 2: from when they were fourteen or fifteen. Yeah, and it's

479
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:57,960
Speaker 2: nice to keep checking in with them on what's going on,

480
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 2: particularly as they both now don't live here. But yeah,

481
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,959
Speaker 2: having her friends in your life and knowing that they

482
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,320
Speaker 2: can come and talk to you, it's a huge thing.

483
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 1: Oh, you're so inspirational.

484
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,800
Speaker 2: I love this chat chatting to you too, it is.

485
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,440
Speaker 1: You've been just wonderful. If people want to know more

486
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,720
Speaker 1: about your endeavors, they can head to your website cheek.

487
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 2: You dot com, which I try and update regularly with

488
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 2: just things that are happening. It looks beautiful and I

489
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 2: love the whole sort of entertaining showing people how to

490
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 2: do different things, which is very much the core of

491
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 2: who I am. So yes, that's where you'll find what

492
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 2: I'm up to.

493
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,400
Speaker 1: We don't know about you, but I'm feeling so much

494
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,440
Speaker 1: more optimistic about taking charge of my own menopause now

495
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: after chatting to Chica talking about inspirational kickass women in

496
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 1: my series, don't skip my episode with editor and TV

497
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,280
Speaker 1: presenter Image and Crump, who gave women a license to

498
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: be more real when she admitted live on National TV

499
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 1: that she was having a hot flush. It's back in

500
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:59,320
Speaker 1: episode three of my first series of Rage Against the Menopause,

501
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 1: Age Against the Menopause,