1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Job mission with Jonesy and Amanda. Ah, you've got a 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: friend in me. Indeed, it's been a really, really tough year, 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,320 Speaker 1: hasn't it. So many of us in lockdown, and it's 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,960 Speaker 1: no surprise there's a big conversation around mental health. Keeping 5 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 1: us physically safe is one thing, but we also have 6 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: to guard our mental health. Gus Walland is on a 7 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,599 Speaker 1: mission to encourage men to reach out to a mate 8 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: and to build mental fitness across Australia with his foundation 9 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: Gotcha for Life. He joins us now, Hi. 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 2: Gars, Amanda Jones, thanks for having me on Die. 11 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:31,320 Speaker 3: Great to have you. 12 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 1: I really realized the importance I've got sons and the 13 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: importance for boys of friendships. My youngest son is in 14 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: year twelve, and the pivoting, the uncertainty, all the stuff 15 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: that's still up in the air for him, and all 16 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,200 Speaker 1: the rituals they're losing of not knowing that they'd finished 17 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: school when he won't be going back to school. So 18 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: much is lost. And yet I know he's got a 19 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 1: great circle of friends, and so he will meet a 20 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: friend for a walk, he'll meet a friend for a swim, 21 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: He'll they'll have zoom catch ups on a Saturday. That 22 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 1: stuff is so important, isn't it? 23 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 2: Oh? Exactly right, and good on him the fact that 24 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 2: he has built those relationships, that he's built that village 25 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 2: around him. My daughter Amanda's going through the same thing. 26 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 2: She's year twelve this year, and she won't be going 27 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 2: back to school, and you're right, they're missing out on 28 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,240 Speaker 2: so much and they don't know if they're going to 29 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 2: get schoolies, they don't know if they're going to get 30 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,960 Speaker 2: the ball at the end of the year. Ord of 31 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 2: stuff as well. So what we're really saying is the 32 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,399 Speaker 2: numbers of anxiety, the number of depression, the numbers on suicide, 33 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,759 Speaker 2: unfortunately are horrific in this country. So what do we do. 34 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,360 Speaker 2: We have to start building our relationships up so they're 35 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,759 Speaker 2: not just involving banter. They've got to be more than that. 36 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 2: We've got to get a friendship where it's actually so 37 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,400 Speaker 2: it's so good that we can talk about absolutely anything, 38 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 2: warts and all without any judgment. And it doesn't mean 39 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 2: that the person listening has to fix it, but it 40 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 2: means that we don't have anyone worrying alone. There's too 41 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 2: many people out there at the moment that just worry 42 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 2: alone too much in our own heads about what other 43 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: people might think, or if we don't quite have all 44 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 2: our stuff together, going to be bagged for that. What 45 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 2: we have to do is build relationship ships where we 46 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 2: have such a good friendship and such a deep level 47 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 2: of friendship that you can literally have a village around 48 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 2: you that can help you with all the type of 49 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 2: stuff that life throws at you. And at the moment 50 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 2: they've been throwing a doozy the year twelve kids, but 51 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 2: it's all Australians and in fact there's probably all the 52 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 2: humans on the planet they're going through this at the moment. 53 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 3: So how do you actually find this? Because what I 54 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,359 Speaker 3: find with this is a lot of lip service. There's 55 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 3: a lot of are you okay? Or let's not talk 56 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,440 Speaker 3: on the radio for a day. But really, when it 57 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 3: comes down to it, how do you know that a 58 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 3: friend of yours is going through a tough time because 59 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 3: it's very hard to pick. 60 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 2: Oh. Look, men in particular are really good at putting 61 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: on the mask and making out that everything's okay when 62 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 2: it's not okay. So all we have to do is 63 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,360 Speaker 2: flip it completely on your head. Could I agree with 64 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,799 Speaker 2: you completely? Jonesy? We're having a day here and there 65 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 2: is not going to cut it. What we have to 66 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 2: do is be actually educate ourselves to make sure that 67 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 2: we're doing this every single day. So what I say 68 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 2: to people is right down on a bit of paper, 69 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 2: and all your listeners can do it when they get 70 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 2: to work this morning. Literally write down on a sheet 71 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 2: of paper all the people that you love and a 72 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,079 Speaker 2: door in this world, and then make yourself a mark 73 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 2: out of ten, Give yourself a mark out of ten 74 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 2: for how you think that relationship's going. What had you 75 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 2: done in the last month or so to make sure 76 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 2: that that relationship can be the best it possibly can be. 77 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,239 Speaker 2: Because it's line in a fan time. This is not 78 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 2: the time to take your relationships for granted. And what 79 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 2: you have to do, Jonesy, you need to get on 80 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 2: the front foot, show some vulnerability and actually tell those 81 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 2: people what they mean to you. Tell them that you 82 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 2: love them, tell them that show a bit of vulnerability 83 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 2: yourself by saying that perhaps your life isn't quite traveling 84 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 2: as well as it might seem to be, and actually 85 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 2: start having a conversation which actually means something outside of banter, 86 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 2: because they're the conversations that when you feel a bit 87 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 2: uncomfortable and you're a fish out of water. They're the 88 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 2: conversations that will just secure that relationship to the point 89 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 2: where you won't be worrying alone and you'll end up 90 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 2: just having these great group of mates and friends that 91 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 2: look after each other properly. 92 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: See. Just hearing that fills me with anxiety to add 93 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 1: it to my to do list, which is terrible because 94 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: I have great, beautiful friends that live in Melbourne and 95 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: I and last year I thought, am I reaching out 96 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: to them a knife? It's it's it's hard when you've 97 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: got limited resources yourself. 98 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 3: I've found in these times, you know, I found media friends. 99 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 3: I don't really have any media friends. I've got Amanda. 100 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 3: That's about the only solid media friend that I would have. 101 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 3: But I text some of my media friends, but you 102 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 3: never get a reply back. And I always think, and 103 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,799 Speaker 3: then I don't know if you noticed as well, Gus, 104 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,159 Speaker 3: but sometimes you just think, well, is it me or 105 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 3: is it or are they just media friends? 106 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean? 107 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 3: Because it's so and this the media world is so fake, 108 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 3: I really and it is like there's not like there's 109 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,599 Speaker 3: guys that I've been in this business for a long time, 110 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 3: but I don't have any solid medium mates. 111 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, media mates and media mates. I get brush. Then 112 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,000 Speaker 2: when it comes to this sort of conversation, look at 113 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 2: the list of people that have known you for a 114 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 2: long time and you truly love and adore yourself, Not 115 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,280 Speaker 2: people that we meet at awards nights or the odd 116 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 2: you know, the occasional interview or something like that. We're 117 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 2: talking about that really core group, that village. You know, 118 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 2: they used to say it takes a village to bring 119 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 2: up a child. Well, it takes a village to bring 120 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 2: up a human being. Now, So Amanda, I know that 121 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 2: my anxiety might jump into God, I've got to add 122 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 2: that to my day. But really, what's more important at 123 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 2: the moment than the people that you love the most 124 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 2: making sure that they feel okay, because of course they 125 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 2: might not be telling you they you know what, Amanda's 126 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 2: so busy, Jonesy's so busy. I'm not going to bother 127 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 2: them with that. Well, I prefer to have that awkward 128 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 2: conversation now than they have. Obviously, what could happen and 129 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 2: what is happening unfortunately way too much in this country, 130 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 2: which is people worrying alone and then making that permanent 131 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 2: decision based on a very temporary situation. So I said 132 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 2: at the end of the Man Up program I did 133 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 2: on the ABC, it's time to man up and speak up. 134 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 2: And that goes to every single Australian. There's way too 135 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 2: many at the moment worrying about what anyone else might 136 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 2: think about us. You know what, if they love you, 137 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 2: then we can help you. I don't want to be 138 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 2: in a situation where they're worrying alone. 139 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: And also, you have a it's okay to show your 140 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,840 Speaker 1: own vulnerability. If someone's asking you about yourself and you're 141 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,600 Speaker 1: not great, say. 142 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,520 Speaker 2: So, that's right, especially if it comes from you, guys, 143 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 2: because they would look at your life and go look 144 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,679 Speaker 2: at you, guys. You've been a top rating radiation show 145 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 2: for nearly twenty years. You're lovely people. You seem to 146 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 2: have all your ducks in a row. If you actually 147 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,560 Speaker 2: answered the questions honestly and said, you know what, I'm 148 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 2: actually struggling a little bit at the moment, all of 149 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,480 Speaker 2: a sudden, the whole relationship and that whole conversation goes 150 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 2: to another level when you go, wow, this is not 151 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 2: just going to be one of those banter conversations this 152 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 2: is going to be real, and then once you have 153 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 2: more and more of those real conversations, then more and 154 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 2: more RICHI your relationships be, and then we'll look after 155 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 2: each other better. 156 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 1: It's interesting you say that, Gus, because a couple of 157 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: weeks ago, it was all I just really felt overwhelmed, 158 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: and I got a bit weepy on air, and I 159 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,239 Speaker 1: got such an outpouring of support that then I felt 160 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: embarrassed that, Oh, I'm how dare I complain? And if 161 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: you look at social media you'll have people who will 162 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,040 Speaker 1: tell you that, But how dare I complain? And then 163 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: I thought, actually, and my husband said, no, You're allowed 164 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: to have a a sad, hard day and to share 165 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: it with people. It's okay for us all to feel that. 166 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 2: Of course, we're human beings at the end of the day. 167 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 2: You know, why do we only get permission to pride 168 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 2: funerals and weddings or if your footy team wins. You 169 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 2: know what I mean? If you felt it that day, 170 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 2: and you felt you felt you felt safe enough with 171 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 2: Jonesy there, he would look after your team would look 172 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 2: after you, and your listeners who truly love you would 173 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: understand that you're being real and that's what they want 174 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 2: in the morning. I don't want any fakeness. They want 175 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 2: you to be real. So to me, brush everyone who's 176 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,239 Speaker 2: giving you any hard time over that. Keep being yourself 177 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 2: and both of you. That's why you've been so successful. 178 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 2: But you guys can lead this by being a bit 179 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 2: more vulnerable yourself if you want to be. Don't catch 180 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 2: yourself going oh no, I better not do it. Just 181 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 2: go with it. 182 00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 1: Yes, that's good advice. 183 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 3: And I was watching a Hue on Instagram so inconclusive 184 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 3: with his little skin cancery thing. What's the go with that? 185 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's in London at the moment. He's about to 186 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 2: do a movie with well, with Sir Anthony Hopkins, So 187 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 2: he's getting a bit nervy at the moment about about 188 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 2: walking on the stage with him. Yeah, he's he had 189 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 2: quite a few of those cut out over the last 190 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 2: five years or so, Jonesy And you know it's simply 191 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 2: because you know, we spent so much time as youngsters 192 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 2: probably not slip slap slopping as much as we should, 193 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 2: and not wearing a hat and so forth. So yeah, 194 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 2: he gets his checked all the time, and it looks 195 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 2: at the moment it's going to be okay. So we'll 196 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 2: just keep up fingers crossed. But for everyone out there, 197 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 2: keep getting yourself checked. Get the hat on, hat hat, 198 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 2: slip slop and slap mate. Yep. 199 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 3: Well, Gus, there's one kid, you know, with the whole 200 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 3: end of the year, and I wouldn't be the first 201 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 3: one to admit this, the anxiety of your kids not 202 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 3: going to schoolies. How do you feel about that? 203 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 2: I'm actually it staved me a few grand and I'm 204 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 2: makes you happy, and there will be enough times for 205 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,160 Speaker 2: them to get together and have a few tunsactly. That's 206 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: one thing I'm not too worried about it. You've got to. 207 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:48,839 Speaker 3: Look at the silver lining. 208 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:49,199 Speaker 2: Gus. 209 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 3: Thank you for joining. I go to got you for 210 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,520 Speaker 3: life dot Orgus Wallan, thank you. 211 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 2: Good on you guys, Love you. Jonesy and Amanda's