WEBVTT - Let's talk compatibility!

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life

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<v Speaker 1>on Card.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. And guess who's in my

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<v Speaker 2>dead Drew.

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<v Speaker 3>I think they know it's me.

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<v Speaker 4>Brittany is back, Babies.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not Jason Momoa, and it's not Laura's hall pass.

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<v Speaker 2>It is, in fact, just me. It is not Matt either.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, he's often here in my bedroom. Surprising for everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, Brittany is back. She's back in old Sydney Town.

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<v Speaker 2>She's here in the Eastern suburbs. And I know how

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<v Speaker 2>thrilled you are to be back amongst my dirty laundry.

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<v Speaker 4>Truly, nothing has changed.

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<v Speaker 5>It's honestly like I never left. Like sitting here, this

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<v Speaker 5>is our first proper record back together. I actually feel

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<v Speaker 5>like I never left.

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<v Speaker 4>I should have made it a bit fancier for you.

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<v Speaker 4>Shouldn't like I could.

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<v Speaker 2>I've gotten maybe a champagne, but after the weekend that

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<v Speaker 2>I just had, I never fucking want to see a

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<v Speaker 2>champagne again.

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<v Speaker 3>No, no, do. I we're too old for We both

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<v Speaker 3>tried to go out.

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<v Speaker 4>It was a disaster. I'm too old.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm too My liver is gone, my kidneys, everything, it's

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<v Speaker 2>my back hurts.

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<v Speaker 5>I came home at midnight to think with the girls.

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<v Speaker 5>I went out for dinner. I actually wasn't even gonna go.

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<v Speaker 5>I said, I have to prep for this episode tomorrow,

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<v Speaker 5>and then like you have to have a life, and

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like, fine, I'm coming to dinner, but I need

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<v Speaker 5>to go home after that. Thinking in my head i'd be,

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<v Speaker 5>i'd eat, I'd be home by nine, nine thirty and

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<v Speaker 5>when midnight rolls around, I've got this We've got to

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<v Speaker 5>record at eight am that I haven't yet prepped, and

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<v Speaker 5>I was like, guys, I need to go home and

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<v Speaker 5>do this record now, to go home at midnight start working.

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<v Speaker 3>I woke up and I don't have to wake up

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<v Speaker 3>to kids. You've got to wake up to kids.

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<v Speaker 5>I felt like I had been hit by a semi trailer,

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<v Speaker 5>not of us, a semi trailer having.

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<v Speaker 4>A hangover when you've got children.

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<v Speaker 2>It's just the most like masochistic form of torture, Like

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<v Speaker 2>why would you do it?

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<v Speaker 4>It's just evil.

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<v Speaker 2>But also I am not used to this, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think that half of Australia, I mean Melbourn's out of lockdown,

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<v Speaker 2>you South Wales' is that of lockdown?

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<v Speaker 4>Half of Australia. It's not half is it's it's a

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<v Speaker 4>good chunk.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a solid chunk of Australia.

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<v Speaker 2>Chunk of Australia who's probably still nursing a hangover. But

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<v Speaker 2>my hangovers are no longer like one day, and they're

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<v Speaker 2>also unjustified. I only had a couple of margaritas and

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<v Speaker 2>a glass of wine, and it's like the punishment doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>match the crime.

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<v Speaker 4>That's how I feel.

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<v Speaker 5>You know what your problem is, old, No, that's one two.

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<v Speaker 5>You mix margarita's with wine.

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<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, it was a good time.

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<v Speaker 6>Though.

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<v Speaker 5>You have to pick your lane and stay in your lane.

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<v Speaker 5>You can't just be going willing Nelly with spirits and

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<v Speaker 5>different cocktails.

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<v Speaker 4>I know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like back in the day when I was like

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<v Speaker 2>eighteen and I'd mix Membora with white wine.

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<v Speaker 4>I'd wake up fine. I was like fifteen years ago.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like my used to be, like when I was

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<v Speaker 3>young and had a six pack. My sister's like it

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<v Speaker 3>was twenty years ago.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah as well. Times have changed, But you know what

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<v Speaker 4>I did.

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<v Speaker 2>This is what okay, this is my first Is it

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<v Speaker 2>a foray or ferrah foray? What is it when you

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<v Speaker 2>go out into the world again. I've forgotten because I

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<v Speaker 2>haven't been out in the world for a while. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>what we did on Saturday night was we went to

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<v Speaker 2>a friend's fortieth birthday party. And her name is Carla.

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<v Speaker 2>She was the makeup artist on The Bachelor Laura.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe Carla doesn't want all Australia to know how old she.

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<v Speaker 2>Is the fourth true Maybe actually, you know what, she's

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<v Speaker 2>living her best life. She's the best. So she's Osher's

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<v Speaker 2>makeup artist. And we went to her fortieth which meant

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<v Speaker 2>that we had dinner with Osha and Matt Agnew and

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<v Speaker 2>it was just this weird bachelor reunion, but also it

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<v Speaker 2>was really great.

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<v Speaker 5>My boat party too, was also like a weird bachelor reunion.

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<v Speaker 5>I was on a boat party incidentally with Holly and Jimmy.

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<v Speaker 5>That was interesting because Jimmy Camappen was like hey.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like, hey, did you like we matched on Tinder.

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<v Speaker 4>I was like hey, I was like hey, so did

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<v Speaker 4>you tell hollywe matched on Tinder?

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<v Speaker 3>He was like yeah, and I was like cool.

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<v Speaker 4>And then it was just like this that were really great?

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<v Speaker 4>Was it was?

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<v Speaker 5>It was fine, but I was like this first moment

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<v Speaker 5>of like cool, like I feel like we know each other,

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<v Speaker 5>but we've never actually met.

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<v Speaker 4>Now we matched.

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<v Speaker 5>He's like, yeah, you ghosted me, and I'm like, cool,

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<v Speaker 5>I did that too, and then she was there and

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<v Speaker 5>it was an interesting triangle.

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<v Speaker 2>How does it feel to have the upper hand to

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<v Speaker 2>know that I go to the Bachelor you ghosted Australia's

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<v Speaker 2>most eligible man this year.

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<v Speaker 5>I said to him, Look or in hindsight, everything happens

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<v Speaker 5>for a reason. Imagine who knows what would have happened

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<v Speaker 5>if we didn't go. You might never have met Holly.

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<v Speaker 2>So you maybe have been dating the kinky Captain, could

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<v Speaker 2>have happened. No, but it's always okay. It sounds I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like we sound like wankers, being like, yeah, we

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<v Speaker 2>feel like had Bachelor reunions.

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<v Speaker 4>It is always weird.

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<v Speaker 2>I find seeing people from the Bachelor franchise outside of

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<v Speaker 2>the Bachelor environment so weird.

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<v Speaker 3>I would never intentionally put myself in that situation.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're but guys, we actually, I mean, we've got

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<v Speaker 2>an awesome episode for you today. This is a bit

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<v Speaker 2>of a different one. We're talking about compatibility on this episode,

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<v Speaker 2>but it was I don't know, it kind of started

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<v Speaker 2>off that we wanted to talk about how important is

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<v Speaker 2>compatibility in a relationship, like how do you navigate when

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<v Speaker 2>things are different? And then we thought, actually, let's touch

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<v Speaker 2>on a few different types of incompatibility and to couples

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<v Speaker 2>who maybe conventionally people might look at their relationship and go, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>how do they make that work? So in order to

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<v Speaker 2>unpack this whole concept around compatibility, we also wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>reach out to you guys, to the listeners and if

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<v Speaker 2>you're following us on Instagram, we put up some stories

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<v Speaker 2>and we did a call out. Basically, we wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>know who of you are in relationships where compatibility has

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<v Speaker 2>been a part of the conversations that you had to

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<v Speaker 2>have early on. For example, if you're navigating into faith

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<v Speaker 2>or interracial relationships, just two people who have come together

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<v Speaker 2>from significantly different backgrounds and overcome or made it work.

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<v Speaker 2>So we do have a couple of people on the

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<v Speaker 2>podcast today to tell their stories. We're going to get

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<v Speaker 2>into that a little bit later and we're going to

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<v Speaker 2>unpack the whole conversation around compatibility.

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<v Speaker 4>But before we do that.

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<v Speaker 2>We want to talk about what everybody is talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>Alec Baldwin, holy shit, holy.

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<v Speaker 5>Shit, it's insane and I buy Now. Surely you guys

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<v Speaker 5>have heard and you've had this conversation with your friends

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<v Speaker 5>or you're hearing everyone talk about it. But Alex was on

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<v Speaker 5>the set of one of his films and he accidentally

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<v Speaker 5>shot and killed somebody. He shot and killed a crew

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<v Speaker 5>member with a prop gun. So this is a gun

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<v Speaker 5>that obviously was not supposed to have any live ammunition

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<v Speaker 5>in it. It is supposed to be able to be shot,

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<v Speaker 5>and nothing actually happens, but it looks like a real gun.

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<v Speaker 5>Everybody in the industry is up in Ar'm saying, I

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<v Speaker 5>don't know how this could have possibly happened. How could

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<v Speaker 5>this have gotten through all the checks that was supposed

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<v Speaker 5>to get to to get to the point that a

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<v Speaker 5>gun is fired on set and kill somebody.

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<v Speaker 3>And there are so many.

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<v Speaker 5>Aspects to this that are captivating the world. There are

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<v Speaker 5>so many discussions coming off the back of this about

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<v Speaker 5>set safety and how this happened. But I just I

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<v Speaker 5>can't get my head around it. I tried to put

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<v Speaker 5>myself in his position. Could you imagine what Alec Bald

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<v Speaker 5>wanted to be feeling right now?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh man?

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<v Speaker 2>Like, I mean, apart from like the complete and utter

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<v Speaker 2>distress and heartbreak, like he killed somebody, whether or not

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<v Speaker 2>it was a mistake or an accident, all of those

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<v Speaker 2>things aside. Imagine living the rest of your life knowing

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<v Speaker 2>that an accident that was made was altered in you

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<v Speaker 2>killing someone. And now Alec Baldwin is an actor on

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<v Speaker 2>this the movie is called Rust. He's an actor on

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<v Speaker 2>the set obviously, but he's also the producer, so his

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<v Speaker 2>level of liability in this whole scenario goes beyond just

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<v Speaker 2>being an actor who has handed a prop gun. But

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<v Speaker 2>we went down a rabbit hole.

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<v Speaker 4>With this, like really did?

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<v Speaker 2>I am stuck deep in the warren because it is

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<v Speaker 2>just it is so fascinating as much as it is heartbreaking.

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<v Speaker 2>It is fascinating and there are so many different facets

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<v Speaker 2>to this story, and every day more information is coming out.

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<v Speaker 2>But just to give you guys an overview in case

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<v Speaker 2>you know, maybe you've heard of it or you've seen

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<v Speaker 2>the headlines, but you haven't actually read the story. The

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<v Speaker 2>woman's name was Hala Hutchins. She's forty two years old.

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<v Speaker 2>She has a nine year old son, and she was

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<v Speaker 2>a cinematographer on set. And when it comes to movie

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<v Speaker 2>sets that have guns as part of their props. There

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<v Speaker 2>are so many safety regulations that are supposed to be

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<v Speaker 2>put in place, so many that it seems completely unfathomable

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<v Speaker 2>that something like this would have happened. Now there is

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<v Speaker 2>there's been some reports of people have come out and

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<v Speaker 2>said for this to happen, there must have been a

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<v Speaker 2>great deal of neglect around safety and precautions because it

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<v Speaker 2>just doesn't make sense. And there have been a few

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<v Speaker 2>key players in this story where they're trying to unpack

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<v Speaker 2>where their responsibility lies. A couple of people that are

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<v Speaker 2>important to mention are the gun armorer. So they have

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<v Speaker 2>a dedicated senior gun armorer on set. Her name was

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<v Speaker 2>Hannah Guziera Read. She's twenty four years old, and she

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<v Speaker 2>is responsible for checking the guns, making sure that it

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<v Speaker 2>has blanks loaded. She's the one that's responsible for calling

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<v Speaker 2>the safety precautions on set every day whenever a gun

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<v Speaker 2>is on set. And then there is also another man,

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<v Speaker 2>and that is the assistant director, Dave Halls. Dave Halls

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<v Speaker 2>is basically the guy who put the gun in Ali

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<v Speaker 2>Borwyn's hand. He was the one that called cold gun

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<v Speaker 2>on set, and cold gun is basically the term that's

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<v Speaker 2>used whenever there is a prop gun or any gun

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<v Speaker 2>that's on set, and it is supposed to identify that

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<v Speaker 2>it's been through all the safety checks and that there

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<v Speaker 2>are no rounds in the gun at all, and the

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<v Speaker 2>rounds that are usually used would be blanks. Ammunition is

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<v Speaker 2>never allowed on set, so the fact that this even

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<v Speaker 2>had real live ammunition in it is just a whole

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<v Speaker 2>other level of crazy.

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<v Speaker 5>Then that gets to another level. So this once you

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<v Speaker 5>started digging, so many things keep coming out. Now there

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<v Speaker 5>is a woman named Maggie Goll. Maggie Goll is a

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<v Speaker 5>prop maker and a licensed proto technician. Now, she had

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<v Speaker 5>filed an internal complaint with the executive producers of Hulu's

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<v Speaker 5>Into the Dark TV series back in twenty nineteen, and

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<v Speaker 5>this was over concerns about assistant director Dave Hall's conduct

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<v Speaker 5>on set. So this same man that handed the gun

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<v Speaker 5>that actually had the ammunition in it to Alec Baldwin

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<v Speaker 5>had already had a complaint put in about him two

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<v Speaker 5>years earlier about the same thing. She alleged in an

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<v Speaker 5>interview that Hall's had previously not followed safety protocols for

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<v Speaker 5>weapons and proto technics when she worked alongside him in

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<v Speaker 5>the TV series.

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<v Speaker 4>So two years ago.

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<v Speaker 5>This has already come out saying, look, something's not right.

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<v Speaker 5>He's not doing what he's supposed to do with his

0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:55.280
<v Speaker 5>gun safety. Now he is just one person. Then we

0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:57.520
<v Speaker 5>have Hannah, who Laura just mentioned. So she's the other

0:09:57.559 --> 0:09:59.839
<v Speaker 5>person whose sole job, that is her job, that is

0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.480
<v Speaker 5>the reason she is on set. She's literally the armorer.

0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.640
<v Speaker 5>That is her whole purpose to be there is to

0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:08.520
<v Speaker 5>make sure that everything is loaded properly, everything is safe,

0:10:08.640 --> 0:10:11.640
<v Speaker 5>the gun's are ready. It's also come out that not

0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:15.240
<v Speaker 5>that long ago, she was on a podcast herself talking

0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.520
<v Speaker 5>about her experience in her job, talking about what she

0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:20.959
<v Speaker 5>has to do, and she actually stated that she didn't

0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:23.560
<v Speaker 5>feel ready to be taking on the level of responsibility

0:10:23.559 --> 0:10:26.840
<v Speaker 5>that she had been taking on recently. So she's come

0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:28.880
<v Speaker 5>out and said, like, these are really crazy jobs. I

0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:31.079
<v Speaker 5>don't feel like I'm really ready for that. But somehow

0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:33.760
<v Speaker 5>she has ended up on this set, she has ended

0:10:33.840 --> 0:10:36.280
<v Speaker 5>up running it. She's a head armorer, she's the daughter

0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.679
<v Speaker 5>of one of the world's best armorers. And this has

0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.600
<v Speaker 5>happened so so far, we've got two to three people

0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.080
<v Speaker 5>where this live bullet, this live ammunition has somehow made

0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:47.640
<v Speaker 5>it through these people into a gun into the hands

0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:52.360
<v Speaker 5>Valley Baldwin. How this is happening still is beyond everybody.

0:10:52.600 --> 0:10:54.760
<v Speaker 2>And also in regards to Hannah. So I mean when

0:10:54.760 --> 0:10:56.480
<v Speaker 2>I say we went into a rabbit's born, on this,

0:10:56.720 --> 0:10:59.840
<v Speaker 2>we went into a rabbit's orn. So Hannah being the gun.

0:11:00.840 --> 0:11:03.839
<v Speaker 2>She also has a very checkered past. And now she's

0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.200
<v Speaker 2>only twenty four years old, she's new to the industry.

0:11:06.240 --> 0:11:09.840
<v Speaker 2>As Britches said, she felt completely unprepared and like she

0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:12.520
<v Speaker 2>didn't have the experience to be put into the position

0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:16.360
<v Speaker 2>of head armorer. So Hannah previously on another job which

0:11:16.400 --> 0:11:18.880
<v Speaker 2>only just recently wrapped filming. It was called the Old

0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:22.079
<v Speaker 2>Way film. They had to holp filming on that because

0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:25.040
<v Speaker 2>she was responsible for giving an eleven year old boy

0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:26.960
<v Speaker 2>a fully loaded gun.

0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:28.000
<v Speaker 4>So she has.

0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:30.680
<v Speaker 2>Already pied like you've got one job, Hannah, mate, check

0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:33.120
<v Speaker 2>the gun, Like are we kidding anyway?

0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:35.720
<v Speaker 4>So there's just so many levels.

0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Here where there have been like people screwing up on

0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:41.400
<v Speaker 2>their jobs, not taking health and safety into consideration. Other

0:11:41.440 --> 0:11:44.480
<v Speaker 2>crew members had already walked out over concerns of health

0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:45.000
<v Speaker 2>and safety.

0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:46.400
<v Speaker 4>They had already walked out.

0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:48.920
<v Speaker 2>Because of thirteen hour work days. And I know the

0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.800
<v Speaker 2>big question that everybody is asking that doesn't have an

0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:54.280
<v Speaker 2>answer to it yet is how the hell does live

0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:57.600
<v Speaker 2>ammunition get into a prop gun. But secondly, I think

0:11:57.640 --> 0:11:59.800
<v Speaker 2>the other big question that people need to ask is

0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:03.880
<v Speaker 2>what sort of liability does Alec Baldwin have beyond just

0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:06.120
<v Speaker 2>being the actor who pulled the trigger? If he is

0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:09.800
<v Speaker 2>the producer of this film, what is his responsibility when

0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:11.040
<v Speaker 2>it comes to health and safety.

0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.520
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, just six hours before the actual shooting, a whole

0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:16.720
<v Speaker 5>bunch of crew members walked off not only for poor

0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:19.600
<v Speaker 5>working conditions, Laura, but actually because there was actually an

0:12:19.600 --> 0:12:22.840
<v Speaker 5>incident where a prop gun was accidentally misfired earlier in

0:12:22.840 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 5>the filming, So they'd actually already had an incident with

0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:29.320
<v Speaker 5>gun relations. So there were people on set that were like,

0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:31.120
<v Speaker 5>this is crazy, we don't want to be here anymore.

0:12:31.400 --> 0:12:34.600
<v Speaker 5>Six hours before this unfortunate event unfolded.

0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:36.199
<v Speaker 2>Now, Britt and I had a bit of a debate

0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:38.360
<v Speaker 2>about this, Like we had a heated debate on the

0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:40.480
<v Speaker 2>phone before, because Britt was like, I feel sorry for

0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.600
<v Speaker 2>Alec Baldwin, and I don't think it's at all his

0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:45.160
<v Speaker 2>responsibility or his fault. I feel very sorry for Ali

0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.959
<v Speaker 2>Baldwin and of course I feel sorry for Alec Baldwin.

0:12:48.000 --> 0:12:50.720
<v Speaker 2>I feel incredibly sorry for him. But I do think

0:12:50.760 --> 0:12:53.120
<v Speaker 2>when there is health and safety issues in a workplace

0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:56.360
<v Speaker 2>and it's already been voiced, that has to be managed

0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:58.960
<v Speaker 2>from top tier, right like it is the people who

0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:02.319
<v Speaker 2>are in charge. It's the CEOs of companies, its producers

0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.680
<v Speaker 2>on set. It is their responsibility to ensure that the

0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:08.280
<v Speaker 2>safety and the environment that their crew are working in

0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.960
<v Speaker 2>is not compromised. And if you have your staff essentially

0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:16.960
<v Speaker 2>working extreme hours they're fatigued. How can you then not

0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:20.520
<v Speaker 2>take some responsibility when people are not doing their jobs properly.

0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:22.240
<v Speaker 2>And I think the big issue that I have with

0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:25.920
<v Speaker 2>this whole thing is that people had already voiced their

0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:28.959
<v Speaker 2>concerns for it. Now there has actually been some more

0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:31.400
<v Speaker 2>reports that came out today and this was reported in TMZ.

0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:32.800
<v Speaker 2>I just want to tell you this because this is

0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.240
<v Speaker 2>a fucking wild guys. The prop gun that killed cinematographer

0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:39.679
<v Speaker 2>Hala Hutchins on New Mexico movie set had been used

0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.800
<v Speaker 2>by crew members off site for fun, and new report

0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:45.679
<v Speaker 2>claims the gun, which was fired by Alec Borwan on

0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.120
<v Speaker 2>set of the movie Russ, may have even been loaded

0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:50.800
<v Speaker 2>with live rounds when it was used for was essentially

0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:54.880
<v Speaker 2>target practice. Multiple sources connected to the production and the

0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:57.520
<v Speaker 2>film told TMZ that the gun was fired at off

0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:01.040
<v Speaker 2>the clock gatherings, which could explain how round found its

0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:05.520
<v Speaker 2>way into the gun's chambers. This is wild, and I

0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:09.320
<v Speaker 2>think is something huge like this happening in a very

0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.840
<v Speaker 2>public setting doesn't do something for gun reform, and at

0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:16.040
<v Speaker 2>least gun reform in these sorts of scenarios, I would

0:14:16.080 --> 0:14:19.000
<v Speaker 2>be very surprised, because it's just devastating that at the

0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:20.800
<v Speaker 2>end of the day, a forty two year old mother

0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 2>with a nine year old boy has lost her life

0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.120
<v Speaker 2>and a little boy has become motherless.

0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:27.840
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and on top of that, I mean that would

0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:30.000
<v Speaker 5>make sense if those allegations are true that they were

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.640
<v Speaker 5>using the gun off site for target practice, that would

0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:35.360
<v Speaker 5>make absolute sense. But what that also means is that

0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:38.600
<v Speaker 5>the armorah didn't check it again before she handed the gun.

0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:41.240
<v Speaker 5>So maybe she's checked it a day earlier, maybe she

0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:43.200
<v Speaker 5>checked it in the morning. But I feel like this

0:14:43.240 --> 0:14:45.280
<v Speaker 5>sort of thing comes down to when you were physically

0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:46.280
<v Speaker 5>about to hand the gun over.

0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.480
<v Speaker 3>I feel like that's when it should be checked. Now

0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:49.760
<v Speaker 3>in regards to Alec Baldwin.

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:51.760
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yes this is I was like, I have one

0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:53.600
<v Speaker 2>more thing to say about the Alec Baldwin think I

0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:54.040
<v Speaker 2>want to know.

0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:57.400
<v Speaker 5>In regards to Alec Baldwin, I do not think that

0:14:57.480 --> 0:14:59.200
<v Speaker 5>he is at fault. I think what has happened to

0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:01.720
<v Speaker 5>him he could very well be charged for manslaughter, which

0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:05.080
<v Speaker 5>is obviously when something tragic like this has happened. But

0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:08.320
<v Speaker 5>there has never been any intent. But it is not

0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:11.440
<v Speaker 5>his job. And anyone that says it is his job

0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.560
<v Speaker 5>to have checked that gun, that's that's not what he's

0:15:13.600 --> 0:15:15.520
<v Speaker 5>there for. That is not what he's employed for. He's

0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:17.920
<v Speaker 5>employed as an actor, and he's employed as a producer.

0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:21.000
<v Speaker 5>Now for people saying that it's a producer's role, it's

0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:21.680
<v Speaker 5>actually not.

0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:22.680
<v Speaker 4>It is actually not.

0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 3>A producer's job to do this.

0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:26.720
<v Speaker 5>I want to tell you the difference between a producer

0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.880
<v Speaker 5>and a director. So a producer, which is what Alec

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.440
<v Speaker 5>Baldwin is, is the person responsible for like finding and

0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:36.320
<v Speaker 5>launching the project, so they find funding and things like that.

0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.720
<v Speaker 5>They hire the writers, they hire the directors, they hire

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:40.960
<v Speaker 5>key members, and they're involved in like the pre production,

0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:42.600
<v Speaker 5>the production and the pros production.

0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:43.680
<v Speaker 3>The director is.

0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:46.240
<v Speaker 5>A man named Joel Susa. Now the part we haven't

0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:48.880
<v Speaker 5>told you yet is Joel Susa was also shot. He

0:15:48.960 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 5>hasn't died, but he was injured in this as well,

0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:52.840
<v Speaker 5>so he's also in hospital. He was shot because he

0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:55.080
<v Speaker 5>was standing behind. He was shot on the shoulder, Yeah,

0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:57.920
<v Speaker 5>which is just horrific. But the director, which is Joel,

0:15:57.960 --> 0:16:01.640
<v Speaker 5>the man that was shot. A director is usually employed

0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:05.400
<v Speaker 5>to routinely check in with heads of every department to

0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:09.400
<v Speaker 5>communicate their needs and ensure that their creative vision properly

0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.800
<v Speaker 5>translate to the big screen. Ultimately, it is the director's

0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.320
<v Speaker 5>job to check in with each department to say, hey,

0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:17.240
<v Speaker 5>how's it going, what do you need? Can I do

0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:19.920
<v Speaker 5>anything for you? And make sure it's running smoothly. There

0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:22.240
<v Speaker 5>will definitely be people saying I'm not saying that what

0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:26.080
<v Speaker 5>happened was absolutely no one's fault or completely someone's fault.

0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:27.200
<v Speaker 3>I'm not putting the blame of anyone.

0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:29.760
<v Speaker 5>Obviously, this has gone through so many people and it's

0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:32.960
<v Speaker 5>beyond me how it made it this far. But I

0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.360
<v Speaker 5>feel horrific. My point is I feel horrific for Alec

0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:39.360
<v Speaker 5>Baldwin because he's not a trained armorer. In his mind,

0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.240
<v Speaker 5>he's like cool. That's why I have all these people

0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:44.120
<v Speaker 5>on set. I'm the actor. I'm here ready. It should

0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.480
<v Speaker 5>have gone through two people, at a minimum three people.

0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:49.000
<v Speaker 5>I'm ready to go. Like he's not trained in that.

0:16:49.160 --> 0:16:52.160
<v Speaker 5>So I feel very very sorry for him. I feel

0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:54.920
<v Speaker 5>sorry for everyone involved. I think it's horrific. He could

0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:56.920
<v Speaker 5>face charges, he may not. We're not really going to

0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:58.520
<v Speaker 5>know until there's a proper investigation.

0:16:58.800 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 4>Oh, Like, I.

0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:02.200
<v Speaker 2>Agree with so much of what you're saying, And of

0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:06.439
<v Speaker 2>course it is a incredible tragedy. And like I'm not

0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:09.439
<v Speaker 2>here saying I don't think him going to jail or

0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:12.480
<v Speaker 2>him being charged with murder or manslaughter. I don't think

0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:15.240
<v Speaker 2>that that solves what the problem is here. And I

0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:17.040
<v Speaker 2>don't know what the right problem. I don't know what

0:17:17.080 --> 0:17:19.000
<v Speaker 2>the right resolution is. I don't know what would make

0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:21.760
<v Speaker 2>this okay, because nothing will make it okay. Someone's dead.

0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:25.040
<v Speaker 2>But when you say his job is he's a producer,

0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:29.160
<v Speaker 2>so he gets the team together, do your fucking diligence check.

0:17:29.400 --> 0:17:32.479
<v Speaker 2>You check the person's references. If that armor has already

0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:34.960
<v Speaker 2>had complaints against her because she's twenty four years old,

0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:36.760
<v Speaker 2>she put a gun in an eleven year old's hand

0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:39.480
<v Speaker 2>and they had to stop filming. You hired her. There's

0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:42.800
<v Speaker 2>some responsibility there. If Dave Halls has already had a

0:17:42.880 --> 0:17:46.320
<v Speaker 2>long checked past with complaints against health and safety and

0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:50.280
<v Speaker 2>his attitudes towards gun safety on set, you're responsible for

0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.520
<v Speaker 2>hiring these people. And so that's why I feel a

0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:56.040
<v Speaker 2>little bit more like, as much as I feel so

0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:58.800
<v Speaker 2>sorry on all levels, exactly like you do, Britt, I

0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.480
<v Speaker 2>do think that there is a greater level of onus here.

0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:04.560
<v Speaker 2>Nothing that I have read so far has really put

0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:07.880
<v Speaker 2>claim to that, whereas everything is putting all the responsibility

0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.679
<v Speaker 2>on Dave Hall's and also on Hannah who was the armorer.

0:18:11.119 --> 0:18:12.760
<v Speaker 2>And I do understand at the end of the day

0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.080
<v Speaker 2>the buck stops with them. But as an employer, if

0:18:15.080 --> 0:18:18.119
<v Speaker 2>you employ people who are not good enough at their jobs,

0:18:18.200 --> 0:18:21.480
<v Speaker 2>or who have a history of not doing their jobs properly,

0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:22.879
<v Speaker 2>why didn't you check that?

0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:23.320
<v Speaker 6>Yeah?

0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:24.320
<v Speaker 4>Now did you employ them?

0:18:24.400 --> 0:18:27.000
<v Speaker 5>I totally hope you're saying too, But I still don't

0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.160
<v Speaker 5>think the blame is on him, like I think, ultimately

0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:32.200
<v Speaker 5>this is just it's so so unfortunate, it's so upsetting

0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.720
<v Speaker 5>and tragic, and it's so messy. There are so many

0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:37.280
<v Speaker 5>moving pieces in this it's going to be really hard

0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:40.560
<v Speaker 5>to investigate. I'm very, very interested to see what happens

0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:42.280
<v Speaker 5>at the end of this. And I think what it

0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:45.080
<v Speaker 5>really comes down to is budget people have tried to

0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:47.639
<v Speaker 5>take and whether that's Alec, whether that's I don't know

0:18:47.680 --> 0:18:48.240
<v Speaker 5>who's involved.

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:49.360
<v Speaker 3>And that's the thing we don't know.

0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:50.040
<v Speaker 4>We're all just.

0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:53.440
<v Speaker 5>Reading news articles that people are vomiting out. Someone has

0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.880
<v Speaker 5>probably cut some corners with budget and tried to keep

0:18:56.880 --> 0:18:59.560
<v Speaker 5>it really, really low. And unfortunately, when it comes to

0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:01.560
<v Speaker 5>things like guns on set, it's the last place that

0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:03.680
<v Speaker 5>you should be trying to cut corners and save money.

0:19:03.680 --> 0:19:05.760
<v Speaker 5>It's just safety comes first and that's probably what you

0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:07.280
<v Speaker 5>should be throwing your money out totally.

0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:10.200
<v Speaker 2>And if you have your staff working crazy, crazy hours,

0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:13.159
<v Speaker 2>I mean that is truly a budget issue, right Like

0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:15.080
<v Speaker 2>when people are worked to the bone or they work

0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:18.280
<v Speaker 2>sixteen seventeen hour days, it's because they're understaffed. And I

0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:20.800
<v Speaker 2>think that this has been a conversation that's been happening

0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:23.399
<v Speaker 2>on a much greater scale in the entertainment industry in

0:19:23.440 --> 0:19:26.200
<v Speaker 2>the States recently. So there's so much more to unpack here,

0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:28.000
<v Speaker 2>and as this story develops, maybe we'll give you guys

0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:29.560
<v Speaker 2>some updates, But I feel like Brittany and I are

0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:30.240
<v Speaker 2>quite hated all there.

0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:31.680
<v Speaker 4>We're so into.

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:33.240
<v Speaker 5>It, like we were just talking about it and I

0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:34.679
<v Speaker 5>don't want to say into it like it's bad, but

0:19:34.760 --> 0:19:36.520
<v Speaker 5>like we're just so enthralled at how this sort of

0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:37.080
<v Speaker 5>thing can happen.

0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:38.560
<v Speaker 3>But anyway, we'll update you as we go.

0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:41.720
<v Speaker 2>So our recommendation for this week is to read the news. Ah, great,

0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:43.800
<v Speaker 2>thanks for coming to Life on Cut. Okay, let's talk

0:19:43.840 --> 0:19:45.560
<v Speaker 2>about something more upbeat.

0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:50.240
<v Speaker 4>Hey, how did we do so? Accidentally? I'm filters? What

0:19:50.320 --> 0:19:50.840
<v Speaker 4>a segue?

0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:51.399
<v Speaker 6>All right?

0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:53.800
<v Speaker 5>I am ready for all right, I'm going to give

0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:56.880
<v Speaker 5>you a really fucking pretty funny and it's we've never

0:19:56.880 --> 0:19:58.760
<v Speaker 5>had anything like this for an accidentally unfilter.

0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:01.720
<v Speaker 4>I'm so I need this in my life.

0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:05.040
<v Speaker 3>Okay, that's so gross.

0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:09.119
<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, I've missed you so much.

0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Just seeing the laugh like in IRL, just being right

0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:16.560
<v Speaker 2>here across from the cackle.

0:20:16.760 --> 0:20:19.280
<v Speaker 4>God, it's heart warming. It was worth the way. Oh man,

0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:21.520
<v Speaker 4>it's been long four months in the desert.

0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:25.920
<v Speaker 3>I was eating some pudding. That's not it's just so funny.

0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:27.160
<v Speaker 4>I was eating some.

0:20:27.119 --> 0:20:29.200
<v Speaker 3>Pudding while sitting on my bed and watching TV.

0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:32.720
<v Speaker 5>After that I decided to trip my fingernails, because that's

0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:33.280
<v Speaker 5>just what you do.

0:20:34.200 --> 0:20:34.800
<v Speaker 4>Once I was.

0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:36.800
<v Speaker 5>Done, I realized there was a bit grubby to cut

0:20:36.840 --> 0:20:39.000
<v Speaker 5>my nails while sitting on my bed, and I needed

0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:41.119
<v Speaker 5>to clean up the clippings, so I scooped them up

0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:43.520
<v Speaker 5>and just dumped them into my empty pudding bowl. Because

0:20:44.240 --> 0:20:47.160
<v Speaker 5>because it's lockdown, I'm lazy and the episode was reaching

0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:48.879
<v Speaker 5>his climax. Obviously didn't want to get up just to

0:20:48.880 --> 0:20:51.000
<v Speaker 5>put these little clippings in the bin. I thought I

0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:54.000
<v Speaker 5>would take them away when I'm done. So after the

0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:56.320
<v Speaker 5>finished I got up to take my dishes to the kitchen,

0:20:56.760 --> 0:20:59.280
<v Speaker 5>I decided, you know what, I might just treat myself

0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:00.960
<v Speaker 5>to another small serving of pudding.

0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:04.000
<v Speaker 3>I then happily thought I would save myself some washing up,

0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:05.879
<v Speaker 3>and I just reused my bowl. Made sense.

0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.240
<v Speaker 5>It wasn't until the scraping the cream off the bottom

0:21:09.320 --> 0:21:11.480
<v Speaker 5>of the bowl I felt a fingernail in my mouth

0:21:11.520 --> 0:21:13.119
<v Speaker 5>and I remembered what I had done.

0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:15.800
<v Speaker 4>I might be the grub of a century. I ate

0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:21.959
<v Speaker 4>all my fingernails in my pudding. The only thing that

0:21:22.040 --> 0:21:22.480
<v Speaker 4>makes this.

0:21:22.560 --> 0:21:25.879
<v Speaker 5>Like remotely better, he said, it was your fingernails and

0:21:25.880 --> 0:21:27.639
<v Speaker 5>not your toenails, because if there was your toenails, I

0:21:27.680 --> 0:21:31.840
<v Speaker 5>would I probably would go make myself ump it.

0:21:31.840 --> 0:21:33.600
<v Speaker 4>It's like the best ax ellely I felt it.

0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:36.800
<v Speaker 3>It's so innocent a lot because you've just done it

0:21:36.800 --> 0:21:38.160
<v Speaker 3>to yourself. There were no witnesses.

0:21:38.200 --> 0:21:39.239
<v Speaker 4>You never had to share that.

0:21:39.320 --> 0:21:41.400
<v Speaker 2>Imagine if you were sharing it, though, would have made

0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:43.560
<v Speaker 2>the story better. Imagine if your fingers ate it up

0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:45.760
<v Speaker 2>on your boyfriend's mouth. No, just like a first date,

0:21:45.800 --> 0:21:46.959
<v Speaker 2>you're like, you have some pudding.

0:21:47.800 --> 0:21:50.840
<v Speaker 4>Oh my god? Do you know what my life consists of?

0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:52.840
<v Speaker 2>Walking around telling Molly to get her finger out of

0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:56.080
<v Speaker 2>her nose now, and every time she's like, yeah, Mummy,

0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:59.800
<v Speaker 2>my boogers are green every day. Yeah, it's the same conversation.

0:22:00.000 --> 0:22:03.240
<v Speaker 2>We have a lot of the same conversations with my toddler. Wow,

0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:07.400
<v Speaker 2>do you have an accillent im filter? I? Okay, I do, Guys.

0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:10.359
<v Speaker 2>Something mortifying happened to me today. I was in the

0:22:10.359 --> 0:22:13.399
<v Speaker 2>office speaking to a coworker who is in a specialized

0:22:13.400 --> 0:22:15.720
<v Speaker 2>at bougie program and I would die to be in

0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:18.359
<v Speaker 2>this program. She holds a lot of sway due to

0:22:18.440 --> 0:22:21.000
<v Speaker 2>being quite a senior member, and I've been trying to

0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:23.520
<v Speaker 2>impress her for the last couple of months. As my

0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:25.560
<v Speaker 2>other coworker and I have chatting to her at our desk,

0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:27.880
<v Speaker 2>I try and act casual and I put my hand

0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:30.240
<v Speaker 2>in my back pocket and feel something soft in there.

0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:33.000
<v Speaker 2>I thought, you know what, it's an antibacterial white. We

0:22:33.119 --> 0:22:34.720
<v Speaker 2>used to wipe things down on the desk and the

0:22:34.720 --> 0:22:37.840
<v Speaker 2>phone and everything else. So I pull it out, and

0:22:37.960 --> 0:22:39.919
<v Speaker 2>as I'm pulling it out, I'm standing there holding it

0:22:39.960 --> 0:22:42.760
<v Speaker 2>in my hands. And then after about twenty seconds, I

0:22:42.800 --> 0:22:45.760
<v Speaker 2>look down to find that there I am holding my worn,

0:22:45.960 --> 0:22:49.639
<v Speaker 2>silky undies that I wore all day yesterday and overnight.

0:22:50.000 --> 0:22:52.040
<v Speaker 4>I had grabbed them off the bathroom floor. This morning

0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:56.439
<v Speaker 4>after showering, I had grabbed podfort that's what you do

0:22:56.520 --> 0:22:58.440
<v Speaker 4>with your dirty undies. She says.

0:22:58.480 --> 0:23:00.000
<v Speaker 2>She lives in a sharehouse and she didn't want to

0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:02.360
<v Speaker 2>leave them on the floor, so she just absent mindily

0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:04.919
<v Speaker 2>put them in her pocket. Anyway, Apparently the woman had

0:23:04.960 --> 0:23:06.800
<v Speaker 2>been looking at them, and that's why she looked down,

0:23:07.280 --> 0:23:07.800
<v Speaker 2>and then she.

0:23:07.760 --> 0:23:10.400
<v Speaker 4>Just tried to carry on and pretend like nothing had happened. No,

0:23:10.520 --> 0:23:12.480
<v Speaker 4>like you have your uneasying your hand. Do you know

0:23:12.520 --> 0:23:13.399
<v Speaker 4>what this reminds me of?

0:23:13.440 --> 0:23:17.600
<v Speaker 5>This reminds me of that girl that accidentally took her well,

0:23:17.640 --> 0:23:20.080
<v Speaker 5>I mean she didn't accidentally. She purposely took her tampon

0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:22.440
<v Speaker 5>out when she went home on a date and she

0:23:22.520 --> 0:23:24.800
<v Speaker 5>was like and she she didn't have anywhere to put it,

0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:26.840
<v Speaker 5>so she's like, oh, just put it in my jean's pocket,

0:23:27.280 --> 0:23:29.240
<v Speaker 5>her black tampon, her used tampon. She put it in

0:23:29.240 --> 0:23:31.399
<v Speaker 5>the back of her black jeans pocket, wrapped up in

0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:33.879
<v Speaker 5>toilet paper because it has been it was not wrapped up.

0:23:34.080 --> 0:23:36.080
<v Speaker 4>She whipped it out. She was about to have sex

0:23:36.119 --> 0:23:36.400
<v Speaker 4>with this.

0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:38.560
<v Speaker 3>Guy and she wanted to pretend she didn't have a period, so.

0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:40.560
<v Speaker 2>She just whipped it out and put it in her

0:23:40.600 --> 0:23:41.280
<v Speaker 2>jean pocket.

0:23:41.400 --> 0:23:43.440
<v Speaker 5>But no, but that gets worse because the next day

0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:45.080
<v Speaker 5>she's like, she put a jeans on and left. She's like,

0:23:45.119 --> 0:23:47.040
<v Speaker 5>I better take the tampon out, and she realized it

0:23:47.040 --> 0:23:51.040
<v Speaker 5>wasn't there. She put it in his jean pocket. So

0:23:51.080 --> 0:23:55.000
<v Speaker 5>he had the tampon in his jean pocket. See, Irapy,

0:23:55.160 --> 0:23:57.159
<v Speaker 5>you were dead, you are dead. That is still one

0:23:57.200 --> 0:23:59.320
<v Speaker 5>of my favorite accidently on filters. It's ever happened, but

0:23:59.359 --> 0:24:01.640
<v Speaker 5>this just makes me think of you know, how small

0:24:01.760 --> 0:24:04.760
<v Speaker 5>kids have a comforter or a little bit of a blankie.

0:24:04.880 --> 0:24:05.640
<v Speaker 4>I'm just imagining.

0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:09.680
<v Speaker 5>I'm outing Keisha I producer, Keisha has one. She's staying

0:24:09.720 --> 0:24:12.119
<v Speaker 5>in my house, so I know, I'm just imagining.

0:24:12.359 --> 0:24:15.199
<v Speaker 2>I'm imagining her standing there, talking to her boss and

0:24:15.240 --> 0:24:17.240
<v Speaker 2>pulling it out and like holding in her hands, playing

0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:19.160
<v Speaker 2>with it like she's playing with the confident, just playing

0:24:19.160 --> 0:24:20.640
<v Speaker 2>with a pair of dirty underse.

0:24:20.359 --> 0:24:22.359
<v Speaker 3>Or like a stress ball, like rolling in between her fingers.

0:24:23.720 --> 0:24:24.960
<v Speaker 4>Hey, guys, that is it.

0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:29.000
<v Speaker 2>Let's get into the chat around compatibility and how important

0:24:29.000 --> 0:24:34.200
<v Speaker 2>it is in your romantic relationship. Well, you know what,

0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:36.720
<v Speaker 2>is it compatibility or is it chemistry?

0:24:37.359 --> 0:24:37.399
<v Speaker 6>What?

0:24:37.480 --> 0:24:38.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't know? I think they go.

0:24:38.880 --> 0:24:41.119
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I do know that was I've done the research.

0:24:41.560 --> 0:24:43.800
<v Speaker 5>Compatibility in chemistry, they do go hand in hand. You

0:24:43.840 --> 0:24:45.280
<v Speaker 5>do want a little bit of both. But I think

0:24:45.320 --> 0:24:47.800
<v Speaker 5>people often confuse the two. I think when there's a

0:24:47.800 --> 0:24:50.159
<v Speaker 5>really high level of chemistry with someone, like when you

0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:52.720
<v Speaker 5>just meet someone and you're like I want to oh,

0:24:52.760 --> 0:24:54.639
<v Speaker 5>and you're like let me sit on you.

0:24:55.160 --> 0:24:56.240
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and you're like this.

0:24:56.280 --> 0:24:58.440
<v Speaker 5>Is so sexy and there's so much heat and passion,

0:24:59.040 --> 0:25:02.199
<v Speaker 5>I think people confuse that chemistry with compatibility. But by

0:25:02.200 --> 0:25:04.320
<v Speaker 5>saying like we're just so men for each other, like

0:25:04.359 --> 0:25:06.359
<v Speaker 5>we can't keep our hands of each other. Then what

0:25:06.480 --> 0:25:09.160
<v Speaker 5>happens is you date for a little while and you're like, whoa,

0:25:09.160 --> 0:25:12.199
<v Speaker 5>this person's actually boring as fuck. They're breathing annoys me,

0:25:12.440 --> 0:25:13.960
<v Speaker 5>Like nothing about you.

0:25:13.840 --> 0:25:15.520
<v Speaker 3>I want to hang out with, but I still want

0:25:15.520 --> 0:25:16.400
<v Speaker 3>to rip your clothes off.

0:25:16.720 --> 0:25:16.960
<v Speaker 4>See.

0:25:17.000 --> 0:25:19.239
<v Speaker 2>I don't know if people confuse I think that like

0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:22.280
<v Speaker 2>for a lot of us, you would expect that it's intuitive,

0:25:22.280 --> 0:25:24.080
<v Speaker 2>but I just don't think it is. I don't think

0:25:24.080 --> 0:25:27.719
<v Speaker 2>people confuse chemistry and compatibility. I think they will force it.

0:25:27.760 --> 0:25:30.640
<v Speaker 2>If you have insane chemistry with someone, you will try

0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:33.639
<v Speaker 2>and make yourself believe that you're compatible, even if all

0:25:33.680 --> 0:25:35.439
<v Speaker 2>the red flags and the warning signs are there to

0:25:35.440 --> 0:25:37.840
<v Speaker 2>say that you're not. We have done a whole episode

0:25:37.880 --> 0:25:40.720
<v Speaker 2>around chemistry, But I think compatibility is a really interesting

0:25:40.800 --> 0:25:43.280
<v Speaker 2>kettle of fish because it's kind of like you're more

0:25:43.359 --> 0:25:48.920
<v Speaker 2>reliable brother of chemistry, whereas chemistry brother Chemistry is a liar. Right,

0:25:49.040 --> 0:25:52.520
<v Speaker 2>Chemistry is what we can become infatuated with, and compatibility

0:25:52.600 --> 0:25:55.919
<v Speaker 2>is its more reliable friend. Now, when I think of

0:25:55.920 --> 0:25:57.800
<v Speaker 2>compatibility and one of the things they think is really

0:25:57.800 --> 0:26:01.720
<v Speaker 2>interesting about this conversation is that for men, compatibility is twofold.

0:26:02.160 --> 0:26:04.440
<v Speaker 2>You need to be compatible in what you're doing now,

0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:07.439
<v Speaker 2>as in like your morals need to align, and like

0:26:07.520 --> 0:26:09.840
<v Speaker 2>when we say you need to be compatible. Firstly, I

0:26:09.880 --> 0:26:12.920
<v Speaker 2>just want to preface this with compatibility does not mean

0:26:12.960 --> 0:26:14.840
<v Speaker 2>that you need to be the same in every single

0:26:14.880 --> 0:26:18.040
<v Speaker 2>facet of life. We all know that opposites can attract.

0:26:18.080 --> 0:26:20.680
<v Speaker 2>We all know that you can be very different in

0:26:20.800 --> 0:26:23.399
<v Speaker 2>many ways to your partner. However, there has to be

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:27.080
<v Speaker 2>an undercurrent of core values or beliefs or something that

0:26:27.160 --> 0:26:30.240
<v Speaker 2>binds you. Whether it's it's your views on the world,

0:26:30.560 --> 0:26:33.320
<v Speaker 2>whether it's the fact that you're both vegans, whether it's

0:26:33.320 --> 0:26:36.159
<v Speaker 2>how you treat other people, whether it's just because they're

0:26:36.160 --> 0:26:38.119
<v Speaker 2>a really nice person and that's what you value at

0:26:38.119 --> 0:26:39.520
<v Speaker 2>the end of the day. Like, there has to be

0:26:39.600 --> 0:26:42.800
<v Speaker 2>some deep seated level of compatibility, and then you can

0:26:42.840 --> 0:26:45.359
<v Speaker 2>have all your other varying factors around you. Know, maybe

0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:47.800
<v Speaker 2>you do have different religions that you believe in, maybe

0:26:47.840 --> 0:26:51.159
<v Speaker 2>you are from really different upbringings, Maybe your perspectives on

0:26:51.280 --> 0:26:54.680
<v Speaker 2>money different. There can be so many different parts of

0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:58.360
<v Speaker 2>a relationship where compatibility comes into play. But the other

0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:02.200
<v Speaker 2>really really important thing about compatibility is that it has direction.

0:27:02.600 --> 0:27:04.520
<v Speaker 2>So not only are you thinking about, well, what do

0:27:04.640 --> 0:27:06.960
<v Speaker 2>you and I have and share in our core values?

0:27:07.119 --> 0:27:09.520
<v Speaker 2>But where is this a relationship heading? And is this

0:27:09.680 --> 0:27:12.400
<v Speaker 2>relationship like do we want to have kids in the future,

0:27:12.680 --> 0:27:14.480
<v Speaker 2>how are we going to raise our kids? Where do

0:27:14.560 --> 0:27:16.639
<v Speaker 2>we want to live? How many times a week do

0:27:16.680 --> 0:27:18.760
<v Speaker 2>we have to see your mum? These are the sorts

0:27:18.760 --> 0:27:21.679
<v Speaker 2>of things that can really dictate whether not just a

0:27:21.720 --> 0:27:25.119
<v Speaker 2>relationship works now, but whether a relationship is compatible in five, ten,

0:27:25.240 --> 0:27:26.200
<v Speaker 2>fifteen years time.

0:27:26.440 --> 0:27:28.440
<v Speaker 5>Now that might have sound like a lot of information,

0:27:28.560 --> 0:27:30.840
<v Speaker 5>but to break down compatibility, just to put it at

0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:32.960
<v Speaker 5>a really base level, it's just the ability to live

0:27:33.000 --> 0:27:35.280
<v Speaker 5>and work together in harmony, to want the same things,

0:27:35.320 --> 0:27:40.240
<v Speaker 5>and to have a really good, solid calming environment. And

0:27:40.320 --> 0:27:43.240
<v Speaker 5>like Laura said, it's to move forward directionally, compatibilities directional.

0:27:43.320 --> 0:27:44.840
<v Speaker 5>So you do want to have this environment that you

0:27:44.920 --> 0:27:47.440
<v Speaker 5>can not only live in in the now that is happy,

0:27:47.520 --> 0:27:48.520
<v Speaker 5>but in the future.

0:27:48.640 --> 0:27:51.000
<v Speaker 2>Before we go any further with unpacking this, I'd love

0:27:51.040 --> 0:27:53.520
<v Speaker 2>to know what are your opinions on opposites attracting.

0:27:53.960 --> 0:27:56.479
<v Speaker 5>I think opposites do attract I don't think you can

0:27:56.560 --> 0:27:58.800
<v Speaker 5>be too similar for someone like for me personally, I

0:27:58.840 --> 0:28:02.520
<v Speaker 5>look at all my relationships in the past, and the

0:28:02.520 --> 0:28:06.800
<v Speaker 5>most disastrous relationship I ever had was with somebody that

0:28:07.080 --> 0:28:10.680
<v Speaker 5>was too similar to me in terms of the way

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:13.280
<v Speaker 5>we our argument style, which I think is a really

0:28:13.280 --> 0:28:15.680
<v Speaker 5>big one because I think argument style and things like that,

0:28:15.760 --> 0:28:17.679
<v Speaker 5>like if or I don't know what the right word is,

0:28:17.680 --> 0:28:19.679
<v Speaker 5>not argument style, but the way we thought. We were

0:28:19.680 --> 0:28:21.880
<v Speaker 5>both too passionate about it. We wouldn't let each other win.

0:28:21.960 --> 0:28:24.000
<v Speaker 5>We're too stubborn. And maybe that's an age thing too,

0:28:24.080 --> 0:28:25.640
<v Speaker 5>like I was a bit younger and I always wanted

0:28:25.640 --> 0:28:29.720
<v Speaker 5>to be right. But for me, I think opposites do attract.

0:28:29.800 --> 0:28:31.720
<v Speaker 5>And the people that I have been attracted to in

0:28:31.760 --> 0:28:34.760
<v Speaker 5>the past Jordan, now they're very different to me in

0:28:34.840 --> 0:28:37.320
<v Speaker 5>terms of being introverted and extroverted, and I think that

0:28:37.400 --> 0:28:40.520
<v Speaker 5>this is a really key factor in dating now. We

0:28:40.560 --> 0:28:42.040
<v Speaker 5>have spoken about this in the past as well. You

0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:43.800
<v Speaker 5>don't have to be an introvert, doesn't have to be

0:28:43.840 --> 0:28:46.240
<v Speaker 5>with an extrovert. An extrovert can be with an extrovert,

0:28:46.280 --> 0:28:47.360
<v Speaker 5>but you have to be able to meet in the

0:28:47.400 --> 0:28:50.560
<v Speaker 5>middle on certain things. For me, I say that I'm

0:28:50.600 --> 0:28:53.200
<v Speaker 5>an introverted extrovert because I am. You guys know what

0:28:53.240 --> 0:28:55.640
<v Speaker 5>I'm like on the podcast, Like I am loud, I

0:28:55.800 --> 0:28:58.000
<v Speaker 5>don't have a filter. I laugh a lot at my

0:28:58.040 --> 0:29:00.520
<v Speaker 5>own jokes, but other people's jokes touper mainly my If

0:29:00.560 --> 0:29:01.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm at the party, I like to be the life

0:29:02.000 --> 0:29:03.760
<v Speaker 5>of the party. Getting me to the party is the

0:29:03.800 --> 0:29:06.520
<v Speaker 5>hard part. Like I do have this part of being introverted.

0:29:06.960 --> 0:29:09.720
<v Speaker 5>When I'm there, I'm great for somebody. I'm dating someone

0:29:09.720 --> 0:29:11.440
<v Speaker 5>like Jordan, and you guys will hear from him soon.

0:29:11.600 --> 0:29:15.240
<v Speaker 3>But he is the opposite. So he's very shy, he's

0:29:15.360 --> 0:29:17.040
<v Speaker 3>very quiet. He's very happy to.

0:29:17.120 --> 0:29:20.560
<v Speaker 5>Let me tell my jokes and be the energy between us.

0:29:20.800 --> 0:29:23.640
<v Speaker 5>But he's also really happy to have that introverted side

0:29:23.640 --> 0:29:25.240
<v Speaker 5>with me as well, so he'll be happy to then

0:29:25.360 --> 0:29:27.360
<v Speaker 5>sit at home watch a movie as opposed to going

0:29:27.360 --> 0:29:30.640
<v Speaker 5>out partying. And I think that is why we work,

0:29:30.720 --> 0:29:33.240
<v Speaker 5>because we're not one hundred percent opposite. We just have

0:29:33.440 --> 0:29:35.800
<v Speaker 5>enough to compliment each other. But we want to do

0:29:35.840 --> 0:29:37.600
<v Speaker 5>the same things in life, and we want to hang

0:29:37.600 --> 0:29:39.200
<v Speaker 5>out and do the same things on the weekend. So

0:29:39.240 --> 0:29:41.000
<v Speaker 5>the rest of it, he's like, you go party and

0:29:41.080 --> 0:29:43.120
<v Speaker 5>then we'll do something fun together on the weekend. So

0:29:43.160 --> 0:29:45.920
<v Speaker 5>it's about finding that balance. So I think one hundred

0:29:45.920 --> 0:29:49.520
<v Speaker 5>percent for me personally, I'm more attracted to people that

0:29:49.560 --> 0:29:50.280
<v Speaker 5>are opposite to me.

0:29:51.000 --> 0:29:53.080
<v Speaker 2>It's interesting, isn't it, Because I would have said back

0:29:53.120 --> 0:29:55.720
<v Speaker 2>in the day that like, opposites don't attract. I would

0:29:55.720 --> 0:29:58.400
<v Speaker 2>have really I found it really hard to get my

0:29:58.440 --> 0:30:00.160
<v Speaker 2>head around it. And I think the more the we

0:30:00.160 --> 0:30:01.920
<v Speaker 2>have done this podcast, the more that we have spoken

0:30:01.960 --> 0:30:04.120
<v Speaker 2>to so many different couples, the more I realized I

0:30:04.200 --> 0:30:06.200
<v Speaker 2>was living in an echo chamber of my own thoughts.

0:30:06.240 --> 0:30:09.480
<v Speaker 2>Like Matt and I are so similar. Sure, there's things

0:30:09.480 --> 0:30:11.680
<v Speaker 2>that we don't like. I hate football, he loves football.

0:30:11.920 --> 0:30:13.920
<v Speaker 2>There's some stuff that we don't align on. But when

0:30:13.920 --> 0:30:16.160
<v Speaker 2>it comes to like who we are at our core,

0:30:16.480 --> 0:30:19.520
<v Speaker 2>we are exactly the same. And that's why we fight

0:30:19.640 --> 0:30:20.280
<v Speaker 2>exactly the same.

0:30:20.360 --> 0:30:22.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, like, and.

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:24.360
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes it's a really bad thing, and sometimes it's a

0:30:24.360 --> 0:30:27.560
<v Speaker 2>really really great thing. But I think it's so interesting

0:30:27.560 --> 0:30:29.720
<v Speaker 2>and like we will get into a couple of conversations

0:30:29.720 --> 0:30:31.880
<v Speaker 2>we had in a little while with some of you

0:30:32.320 --> 0:30:36.600
<v Speaker 2>who have come from like fundamentally different paths and fundamentally

0:30:36.640 --> 0:30:41.040
<v Speaker 2>different backgrounds and upbringings. However, there's still this base. And

0:30:41.080 --> 0:30:43.960
<v Speaker 2>I think the really interesting thing about this conversation of

0:30:44.000 --> 0:30:48.600
<v Speaker 2>compatibility is even if you aren't compatible, as in, even

0:30:48.600 --> 0:30:51.760
<v Speaker 2>if you have different belief systems, whether like I said,

0:30:51.800 --> 0:30:53.880
<v Speaker 2>whether it's that one person's a vegan one person's a

0:30:53.880 --> 0:30:56.479
<v Speaker 2>meat eater, so long as there's respect for the other

0:30:56.520 --> 0:30:59.080
<v Speaker 2>person's belief that's what defines compatibility.

0:30:59.080 --> 0:30:59.440
<v Speaker 4>I think.

0:30:59.520 --> 0:31:01.680
<v Speaker 2>So you can be you can not align on a

0:31:01.680 --> 0:31:04.040
<v Speaker 2>lot of things in your relationships. Maybe you have very

0:31:04.080 --> 0:31:07.240
<v Speaker 2>different political views. But if you respect each other's political

0:31:07.320 --> 0:31:10.800
<v Speaker 2>views and it gives for like interesting debate and interesting discussions,

0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:13.880
<v Speaker 2>then that's a really healthy relationship. But if your political

0:31:13.960 --> 0:31:16.880
<v Speaker 2>views are so important to you that you cannot respect

0:31:16.960 --> 0:31:19.560
<v Speaker 2>someone who has a different political view to you, or

0:31:19.600 --> 0:31:22.160
<v Speaker 2>you cannot respect someone who has a different religion or

0:31:22.200 --> 0:31:25.680
<v Speaker 2>whatever it is, that's where compatibility is a huge part

0:31:25.880 --> 0:31:27.480
<v Speaker 2>of why relationships break down.

0:31:27.840 --> 0:31:29.920
<v Speaker 5>There really is a strong argument from a lot of

0:31:29.960 --> 0:31:33.040
<v Speaker 5>professors and a lot of professionals that argument and conflict

0:31:33.120 --> 0:31:35.480
<v Speaker 5>is actually good in relationships. And it's exactly what you

0:31:35.520 --> 0:31:37.480
<v Speaker 5>just said, Laura. You're never gonna have a relationship where

0:31:37.520 --> 0:31:39.840
<v Speaker 5>you don't argue, But it's about how you argue and

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:41.280
<v Speaker 5>about how you disagree.

0:31:41.440 --> 0:31:42.800
<v Speaker 3>So if you can disagree and.

0:31:42.760 --> 0:31:45.760
<v Speaker 5>Debate each other with a lot of respect and in

0:31:45.800 --> 0:31:48.240
<v Speaker 5>a really calm way, then that's healthy and that's encouraged.

0:31:48.240 --> 0:31:51.400
<v Speaker 5>And it's like Laura and I like prime example, Laura,

0:31:51.400 --> 0:31:52.719
<v Speaker 5>I would like to think that you and I are

0:31:52.880 --> 0:31:56.160
<v Speaker 5>very compatible, but we had we just completely disagreed about

0:31:56.160 --> 0:31:58.640
<v Speaker 5>Alec Baldwin. But that doesn't mean we're not going to

0:31:58.680 --> 0:32:01.400
<v Speaker 5>be able to be podcast host because we disagree respectfully.

0:32:01.400 --> 0:32:03.520
<v Speaker 5>We listen to each other's opinions. We're like, I get

0:32:03.520 --> 0:32:05.560
<v Speaker 5>what you're saying, but I think this, and I think

0:32:05.600 --> 0:32:08.160
<v Speaker 5>that that's a really like that's a prime example of cool.

0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:10.560
<v Speaker 5>We don't agree on this, but we have so many

0:32:10.560 --> 0:32:12.640
<v Speaker 5>similarities and so much respect for each other in every

0:32:12.640 --> 0:32:16.720
<v Speaker 5>other aspect that this makes it a compatible podcast hosting

0:32:16.880 --> 0:32:18.520
<v Speaker 5>thing that we've got going on here.

0:32:19.680 --> 0:32:21.920
<v Speaker 2>We are but also on that I mean, and this

0:32:22.000 --> 0:32:23.800
<v Speaker 2>is one of the this is one of the research

0:32:23.840 --> 0:32:26.000
<v Speaker 2>studies that we pulled out for this because we can

0:32:26.040 --> 0:32:28.720
<v Speaker 2>talk about compatibility and how important it is all day,

0:32:28.840 --> 0:32:31.600
<v Speaker 2>but like I said, it is this huge undercurrent of

0:32:31.680 --> 0:32:34.240
<v Speaker 2>respect that plays into it. And there is this quote

0:32:34.280 --> 0:32:36.920
<v Speaker 2>psychology professor at the University of Texas. His name is

0:32:36.960 --> 0:32:40.880
<v Speaker 2>at Ted Huston. He conducted a longitudinal study of married couples,

0:32:40.960 --> 0:32:44.840
<v Speaker 2>and he claims that maybe compatibility is a little bit overrated, right,

0:32:44.880 --> 0:32:46.840
<v Speaker 2>and maybe we put too much focus on the need

0:32:46.880 --> 0:32:49.840
<v Speaker 2>for everything to align. He says, my research shows that

0:32:49.880 --> 0:32:53.240
<v Speaker 2>there is no difference in the objective level of compatibility

0:32:53.320 --> 0:32:55.800
<v Speaker 2>between couples who are unhappy and those who are actually

0:32:55.800 --> 0:33:00.000
<v Speaker 2>happy in their relationships. But the unhappy ones think compatibility

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:02.800
<v Speaker 2>is important to a good marriage, but they don't think

0:33:02.800 --> 0:33:05.480
<v Speaker 2>that they have it in their own marriage. People over

0:33:05.560 --> 0:33:10.080
<v Speaker 2>emphasize the effect of personality or values, and they underemphasize

0:33:10.080 --> 0:33:14.320
<v Speaker 2>the extent to which easy congenial temperaments aid marriages. So

0:33:14.440 --> 0:33:17.720
<v Speaker 2>basically what he's saying then, is like, if you're a

0:33:17.840 --> 0:33:20.560
<v Speaker 2>nice person to get along with, if you're a kind

0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:23.600
<v Speaker 2>to your partner, if you have mutual respect with your partner,

0:33:23.840 --> 0:33:25.720
<v Speaker 2>if you love each other and you seek to better

0:33:25.800 --> 0:33:29.600
<v Speaker 2>understand each other, that is more important than being compatible.

0:33:29.640 --> 0:33:32.160
<v Speaker 2>That is more important than having like for like. You

0:33:32.200 --> 0:33:34.560
<v Speaker 2>can be really different to your partner, but if you

0:33:34.640 --> 0:33:37.120
<v Speaker 2>respect who they are, where they come from, and why

0:33:37.160 --> 0:33:39.080
<v Speaker 2>they show up in the relationship the way they do,

0:33:39.520 --> 0:33:40.920
<v Speaker 2>you guys can make it work out.

0:33:41.240 --> 0:33:43.360
<v Speaker 5>Some of the big hurdles that we want to talk about,

0:33:43.400 --> 0:33:45.880
<v Speaker 5>and the biggest hurdles that couples face in a relationship

0:33:45.920 --> 0:33:50.560
<v Speaker 5>in regards to compatibility are things like race, religion, and

0:33:50.720 --> 0:33:51.960
<v Speaker 5>politics now.

0:33:52.000 --> 0:33:54.280
<v Speaker 2>And philosophical views. I think that's a big one as well,

0:33:54.320 --> 0:33:55.960
<v Speaker 2>philosophical views one hundred percent.

0:33:56.000 --> 0:33:57.960
<v Speaker 5>And also, like we will get into this in a minute,

0:33:58.000 --> 0:34:00.640
<v Speaker 5>the big things like race and religion and culture differences,

0:34:00.720 --> 0:34:04.560
<v Speaker 5>they are very big driving factors, unfortunately, because it results

0:34:04.600 --> 0:34:07.920
<v Speaker 5>in the way you want to, for example, raise your children.

0:34:08.000 --> 0:34:10.040
<v Speaker 5>If you have very different ideas on how you want

0:34:10.040 --> 0:34:14.000
<v Speaker 5>to raise your children that comes from your religion, it's

0:34:14.080 --> 0:34:16.239
<v Speaker 5>going to be a big wedge in your relationship.

0:34:16.640 --> 0:34:18.760
<v Speaker 2>It's not just about how you want to raise kids,

0:34:18.800 --> 0:34:21.840
<v Speaker 2>it's also about how you navigate your relationship in the now. Obviously,

0:34:21.880 --> 0:34:25.359
<v Speaker 2>if you're from a Christian background, sex before marriage can

0:34:25.400 --> 0:34:27.680
<v Speaker 2>be a huge conversation. And if you're somebody who's not

0:34:27.760 --> 0:34:31.200
<v Speaker 2>religious and maybe you have had quite a free and

0:34:31.320 --> 0:34:35.000
<v Speaker 2>exciting sex life in the past dating somebody who's reserving

0:34:35.040 --> 0:34:37.920
<v Speaker 2>themselves for marriage, that's a huge conversation to have, and

0:34:37.960 --> 0:34:41.759
<v Speaker 2>that is very different and a very unique situation that

0:34:41.800 --> 0:34:45.279
<v Speaker 2>requires a lot of respect and requires so much communication

0:34:45.360 --> 0:34:46.120
<v Speaker 2>to make that work.

0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:48.080
<v Speaker 5>And that just comes down to what you know you

0:34:48.120 --> 0:34:50.200
<v Speaker 5>want in a relationship and who you are. So there's

0:34:50.239 --> 0:34:52.080
<v Speaker 5>no right or wrong. If you want to save yourself

0:34:52.120 --> 0:34:54.640
<v Speaker 5>a marriage because that's what you're believing, that is absolutely,

0:34:55.200 --> 0:34:58.680
<v Speaker 5>that's one hundred percent amazing, But you can't probably expect

0:34:58.719 --> 0:35:01.919
<v Speaker 5>to go and date somebody that really wants to have sex. Now,

0:35:02.160 --> 0:35:06.040
<v Speaker 5>I personally, when I think about compatibility, I if I

0:35:06.160 --> 0:35:08.560
<v Speaker 5>met someone on a date, like first date, I'm talking,

0:35:08.600 --> 0:35:10.040
<v Speaker 5>I don't know them, so I haven't got to know

0:35:10.080 --> 0:35:11.640
<v Speaker 5>their soul and who they are. I've gone on a

0:35:11.719 --> 0:35:13.000
<v Speaker 5>date with someone and they're like, hey, I don't want

0:35:13.000 --> 0:35:15.120
<v Speaker 5>to have sex. Before marriage was like girls gonna eat?

0:35:15.520 --> 0:35:16.840
<v Speaker 5>I was like, do you mind grabbing the bill? Like

0:35:17.080 --> 0:35:19.560
<v Speaker 5>I gotta get home, Sorry, I have a guy.

0:35:19.480 --> 0:35:21.400
<v Speaker 4>That they need to text and there's Brittany writing a

0:35:21.440 --> 0:35:22.160
<v Speaker 4>you up text.

0:35:22.320 --> 0:35:25.279
<v Speaker 5>But for me, sex in a relationship is important, Like

0:35:25.320 --> 0:35:28.759
<v Speaker 5>it's for my values and my beliefs. The intimacy that

0:35:29.000 --> 0:35:32.759
<v Speaker 5>comes with sexual relationships, that's what's important to me. And

0:35:33.120 --> 0:35:35.640
<v Speaker 5>I think that So if I met somebody that wasn't

0:35:35.840 --> 0:35:38.400
<v Speaker 5>really on that wavelength. It's just not gonna work. And

0:35:38.400 --> 0:35:40.799
<v Speaker 5>I think that's a big driving factor for compatibility. When

0:35:40.880 --> 0:35:42.680
<v Speaker 5>I write down a list of what I want.

0:35:42.560 --> 0:35:45.560
<v Speaker 2>I think sexual compatibility is huge and actually it's probably

0:35:45.560 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 2>one of the biggest paradigms on this. Like we didn't

0:35:48.120 --> 0:35:52.040
<v Speaker 2>mention it before, but you said, you know, religion, race, philosophical,

0:35:52.080 --> 0:35:54.640
<v Speaker 2>cultural sex is a huge one as well. Are you

0:35:54.640 --> 0:35:55.760
<v Speaker 2>compatible in the bedroom?

0:35:55.840 --> 0:35:56.359
<v Speaker 4>Yes or no?

0:35:56.960 --> 0:36:01.080
<v Speaker 2>I so this can I actually be a really interesting

0:36:01.120 --> 0:36:04.280
<v Speaker 2>time to get into the conversation with Kurt and Daisy.

0:36:04.680 --> 0:36:07.640
<v Speaker 2>Now Kurt and Daisy we got to interview them. We

0:36:07.719 --> 0:36:09.759
<v Speaker 2>did put the call out to everybody to try and

0:36:10.320 --> 0:36:13.920
<v Speaker 2>garner these really interesting relationships who have come to the

0:36:13.960 --> 0:36:16.839
<v Speaker 2>table with very different backgrounds. Daisy is from the UK.

0:36:17.200 --> 0:36:21.880
<v Speaker 2>She identifies as agnostic. She has no religious preference really

0:36:22.040 --> 0:36:24.279
<v Speaker 2>and I guess she describes herself as a little bit

0:36:24.280 --> 0:36:28.720
<v Speaker 2>more spiritual. Whereas her boyfriend Kurt, he is an evangelical Christian.

0:36:28.760 --> 0:36:31.920
<v Speaker 2>He has been very much brought up as very integrated

0:36:31.960 --> 0:36:34.520
<v Speaker 2>in the church, an extremely proactive member of the church,

0:36:34.680 --> 0:36:38.279
<v Speaker 2>and his family are devout Christians. They talked about what

0:36:38.400 --> 0:36:41.520
<v Speaker 2>it's been like navigating dating when they come from such

0:36:41.520 --> 0:36:44.680
<v Speaker 2>different belief systems when they have such different ideas around

0:36:44.800 --> 0:36:47.400
<v Speaker 2>sex and what that conversation.

0:36:47.040 --> 0:36:50.759
<v Speaker 7>Is like, I think because with the church, like it

0:36:50.840 --> 0:36:53.759
<v Speaker 7>does from an outside point of view, it's obviously like

0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:57.960
<v Speaker 7>a really tight knit community and Kurt's families really involved,

0:36:58.000 --> 0:37:00.480
<v Speaker 7>and it kind of just felt a bit like I

0:37:00.560 --> 0:37:03.240
<v Speaker 7>was on the outside of something in some weird ways.

0:37:03.280 --> 0:37:06.520
<v Speaker 7>I felt like I was almost corrupting you.

0:37:06.520 --> 0:37:12.160
<v Speaker 6>You probably were, which in all honesty, she did, Yeah,

0:37:12.160 --> 0:37:14.040
<v Speaker 6>in all honestly, Like I had to come to a

0:37:14.080 --> 0:37:15.800
<v Speaker 6>point where I was like, well, what are our values?

0:37:15.840 --> 0:37:17.719
<v Speaker 6>Like do we have the same values? Now that's kind

0:37:17.719 --> 0:37:20.319
<v Speaker 6>of the core thing that I lent on, but rather

0:37:20.480 --> 0:37:22.600
<v Speaker 6>what do we actually care about? Like what we what's

0:37:22.640 --> 0:37:24.520
<v Speaker 6>the bigger things that we care about? And that's why

0:37:24.560 --> 0:37:26.560
<v Speaker 6>I moved the conversation personal question.

0:37:26.680 --> 0:37:29.160
<v Speaker 5>But was their compromise so like, Kurt, were you no

0:37:29.320 --> 0:37:32.319
<v Speaker 5>sex before marriage? Were you not wanting to drink? Like

0:37:32.360 --> 0:37:35.000
<v Speaker 5>how strict were you in your faith? And then was

0:37:35.000 --> 0:37:36.600
<v Speaker 5>a compromise on that when you guys met?

0:37:37.160 --> 0:37:37.520
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:37:37.560 --> 0:37:41.240
<v Speaker 6>So for me, yeah, like I was waiting for a marriage,

0:37:41.320 --> 0:37:46.040
<v Speaker 6>like to have sex, and I guess I'd always had

0:37:46.040 --> 0:37:48.279
<v Speaker 6>this kind of open mindness about it as well, so

0:37:48.360 --> 0:37:50.040
<v Speaker 6>I wasn't just like this is just a way that

0:37:50.080 --> 0:37:50.480
<v Speaker 6>it would go.

0:37:50.560 --> 0:37:51.160
<v Speaker 4>I was like, if I.

0:37:51.120 --> 0:37:53.680
<v Speaker 6>Really fall in love with someone, we build a really

0:37:53.719 --> 0:37:57.120
<v Speaker 6>solid relationship, I would be open to it. But the

0:37:57.239 --> 0:37:58.800
<v Speaker 6>kind of idea was marriage.

0:37:59.080 --> 0:38:02.080
<v Speaker 7>I remember when Kurt told me that, and because I'd

0:38:02.120 --> 0:38:04.160
<v Speaker 7>obviously known about like the faith and everything before, and

0:38:04.200 --> 0:38:06.080
<v Speaker 7>then when that came up, and I think, because we've

0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:08.840
<v Speaker 7>had drinks together and this sounds like maybe a bit ignorant,

0:38:08.840 --> 0:38:10.440
<v Speaker 7>but I was like, oh, he seems so normal, like

0:38:10.520 --> 0:38:13.360
<v Speaker 7>surely not Like surely that wouldn't be the case. And

0:38:13.400 --> 0:38:16.680
<v Speaker 7>then when I found out, I think there was part

0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:19.680
<v Speaker 7>of my mind that was like, can you really call

0:38:19.719 --> 0:38:22.239
<v Speaker 7>someone your boyfriend if you haven't slept with them?

0:38:22.480 --> 0:38:22.760
<v Speaker 8>Yeah?

0:38:22.760 --> 0:38:26.120
<v Speaker 6>To me, that was like crazy because from the culture

0:38:26.160 --> 0:38:28.760
<v Speaker 6>that I come from, you can build a really great

0:38:28.800 --> 0:38:30.720
<v Speaker 6>connection and relationship without sex.

0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:34.480
<v Speaker 2>When you're brought up in the church and your life

0:38:34.520 --> 0:38:39.520
<v Speaker 2>is centered around your beliefs, that also is mostly very

0:38:39.600 --> 0:38:42.600
<v Speaker 2>much ingrained in your family values as well. How has

0:38:42.640 --> 0:38:46.040
<v Speaker 2>it been navigating for both of you, essentially the in laws,

0:38:46.080 --> 0:38:49.360
<v Speaker 2>like meeting each other's family, being accepted into each other's family,

0:38:49.480 --> 0:38:52.920
<v Speaker 2>knowing that you both have different faith and different belief systems.

0:38:53.600 --> 0:38:56.520
<v Speaker 6>I think that's still the tricky one because of COVID,

0:38:56.920 --> 0:38:59.040
<v Speaker 6>Like our relationships have kind of been built on like

0:38:59.080 --> 0:39:02.880
<v Speaker 6>this crazy time of not really getting to connect with

0:39:03.040 --> 0:39:05.760
<v Speaker 6>one another's friends. We've spent a lot more time together.

0:39:06.000 --> 0:39:08.240
<v Speaker 6>One of the things that my mum actually did say

0:39:08.719 --> 0:39:11.480
<v Speaker 6>was when I first told mom about Daisy, was like, oh,

0:39:11.480 --> 0:39:12.640
<v Speaker 6>does she have the God factor?

0:39:13.200 --> 0:39:14.640
<v Speaker 4>And what is the God factor?

0:39:15.000 --> 0:39:17.160
<v Speaker 6>I know, it's pretty much it's pretty much does she

0:39:17.239 --> 0:39:19.399
<v Speaker 6>believe in God? Is she a Christian? It's like kind

0:39:19.440 --> 0:39:21.719
<v Speaker 6>of like you know, slang by saying is does she

0:39:21.800 --> 0:39:22.960
<v Speaker 6>believe what we believe?

0:39:23.000 --> 0:39:24.760
<v Speaker 4>And I was like, no, she doesn't.

0:39:24.800 --> 0:39:27.560
<v Speaker 6>It was Daisy that in the beginning of the relationship,

0:39:27.600 --> 0:39:30.080
<v Speaker 6>and it was a terrible thing. I've told her because

0:39:30.080 --> 0:39:32.719
<v Speaker 6>it's pretty much at the time and didn't think about it.

0:39:32.920 --> 0:39:35.840
<v Speaker 6>Pretty much told her, hey, like, my family won't accept

0:39:35.880 --> 0:39:37.720
<v Speaker 6>you if you're not this, But that wasn't the case.

0:39:37.920 --> 0:39:41.239
<v Speaker 6>It just that's how it came across. My family ended

0:39:41.280 --> 0:39:42.919
<v Speaker 6>up coming to Sydney for a bit and Daisy didn't

0:39:42.920 --> 0:39:45.560
<v Speaker 6>meet them briefly. It's kind of like how Daisy spent

0:39:45.640 --> 0:39:47.600
<v Speaker 6>time with me the first time. She just seems normal

0:39:47.640 --> 0:39:49.320
<v Speaker 6>because like, my family are normal. They just have this

0:39:50.360 --> 0:39:54.279
<v Speaker 6>yeah but like sometimes oh no, like they're religious and

0:39:54.280 --> 0:39:56.640
<v Speaker 6>are scary, but my family are very normal. They just

0:39:56.640 --> 0:39:58.839
<v Speaker 6>have this very cool thing that brings them together and

0:39:58.840 --> 0:40:02.040
<v Speaker 6>that is part of convers station. But my dad actually

0:40:02.080 --> 0:40:04.080
<v Speaker 6>pulled me aside after they were just about to go

0:40:04.160 --> 0:40:06.000
<v Speaker 6>back and just said, hey, if you love Daisy, that

0:40:06.080 --> 0:40:09.160
<v Speaker 6>we love daisy, you know. So for me that was

0:40:09.200 --> 0:40:12.200
<v Speaker 6>really important and yeah, I was, like, I guess a

0:40:12.200 --> 0:40:15.120
<v Speaker 6>really moving moment for me because even myself I was

0:40:15.239 --> 0:40:17.720
<v Speaker 6>kind of like there's a lot of shame and guilt

0:40:17.760 --> 0:40:20.320
<v Speaker 6>and like, this isn't what I think the quick cutter

0:40:20.360 --> 0:40:22.359
<v Speaker 6>thing that my parents would want for me, but it's

0:40:22.400 --> 0:40:24.640
<v Speaker 6>just not how it's happened, and that's just had to

0:40:24.680 --> 0:40:25.160
<v Speaker 6>accept that.

0:40:25.360 --> 0:40:27.239
<v Speaker 2>What do you think of the biggest challenges that you

0:40:27.280 --> 0:40:30.520
<v Speaker 2>guys have, knowing that you both come from these different backgrounds.

0:40:30.800 --> 0:40:32.799
<v Speaker 7>I feel like one of our biggest things actually has

0:40:32.840 --> 0:40:36.440
<v Speaker 7>just been trying to overcome fear of judgment from like

0:40:36.520 --> 0:40:40.400
<v Speaker 7>our different friendship groups or family. That's probably been one

0:40:40.440 --> 0:40:43.560
<v Speaker 7>of the biggest things. And weirdly, COVID has been quite

0:40:43.560 --> 0:40:45.080
<v Speaker 7>good for that because we have just spent a lot

0:40:45.120 --> 0:40:46.720
<v Speaker 7>of time in our own bubble.

0:40:47.040 --> 0:40:49.759
<v Speaker 2>How is that presenting itself? And is it more from

0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:52.680
<v Speaker 2>your friends or your side or like whose side is

0:40:52.719 --> 0:40:55.239
<v Speaker 2>this judgment coming from? All these feelings of inadequacy?

0:40:55.560 --> 0:40:58.560
<v Speaker 7>It was definitely both because I think, especially around the

0:40:58.640 --> 0:41:02.840
<v Speaker 7>sex thing, for my friends, like that's like really weird,

0:41:03.000 --> 0:41:04.960
<v Speaker 7>like if you're seeing someone for a certain amount of

0:41:04.960 --> 0:41:08.720
<v Speaker 7>time and you haven't slept with them, And for Kurt's friends,

0:41:09.239 --> 0:41:12.400
<v Speaker 7>it would be like really weird the other way. So

0:41:13.160 --> 0:41:15.920
<v Speaker 7>it wasn't any like really negative judgment. It was just

0:41:16.040 --> 0:41:19.200
<v Speaker 7>almost this otherness like between our friendship group.

0:41:19.360 --> 0:41:21.640
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, and then I guess when we kind of moved

0:41:21.719 --> 0:41:24.880
<v Speaker 6>through that, Like for myself, it just it doesn't seem.

0:41:24.640 --> 0:41:25.680
<v Speaker 3>Like the biggest thing.

0:41:25.960 --> 0:41:29.200
<v Speaker 6>If I could be honest, I think that in a relationship,

0:41:29.280 --> 0:41:32.080
<v Speaker 6>sex is a great thing, but there's so many other things.

0:41:32.120 --> 0:41:35.279
<v Speaker 6>Communication is like I think if you're gonna have good communication,

0:41:35.400 --> 0:41:37.759
<v Speaker 6>you can build a good relationship. There's just so many

0:41:37.840 --> 0:41:40.719
<v Speaker 6>different layers, and I found that that's a great way,

0:41:40.960 --> 0:41:44.279
<v Speaker 6>like for intimacy, but even just like good conversation and

0:41:44.600 --> 0:41:48.440
<v Speaker 6>being open and being willing to like compromise and listening

0:41:48.480 --> 0:41:51.120
<v Speaker 6>to one another. Those things. I found those things are

0:41:51.160 --> 0:41:53.479
<v Speaker 6>more richer and better for me than the physical side

0:41:53.480 --> 0:41:53.799
<v Speaker 6>of things.

0:41:54.000 --> 0:41:56.799
<v Speaker 2>This whole idea the opposites attract. How do you find

0:41:56.920 --> 0:41:59.600
<v Speaker 2>that impacts your relationship? Like do you find that, yeah,

0:41:59.640 --> 0:42:01.879
<v Speaker 2>we had that these things that are opposite, but who

0:42:01.920 --> 0:42:04.400
<v Speaker 2>we are and what we want is aligned.

0:42:04.760 --> 0:42:08.160
<v Speaker 7>I think actually, all the things that came with like

0:42:08.239 --> 0:42:10.959
<v Speaker 7>Kirk growing up with a religion are all the things

0:42:10.960 --> 0:42:13.080
<v Speaker 7>that have given him like really good values and like

0:42:13.200 --> 0:42:15.759
<v Speaker 7>ability to communicate. We were saying on the walk here

0:42:16.600 --> 0:42:19.200
<v Speaker 7>when you know, I was kind of considering, oh, is

0:42:19.280 --> 0:42:21.600
<v Speaker 7>religion Is that the red flag at the beginning of

0:42:21.640 --> 0:42:24.680
<v Speaker 7>the relationship. And if I think about other people that

0:42:24.719 --> 0:42:28.520
<v Speaker 7>I've dated, and I've kind of been okay with their things,

0:42:28.600 --> 0:42:30.839
<v Speaker 7>like you know, people smoking weed every day and like

0:42:31.040 --> 0:42:32.520
<v Speaker 7>doing like not so nice.

0:42:32.920 --> 0:42:34.520
<v Speaker 4>Like I'm not preparing religion to weeds.

0:42:34.320 --> 0:42:36.840
<v Speaker 7>Snow No, But it's like, oh, like I'm okay with

0:42:37.000 --> 0:42:39.600
<v Speaker 7>things like that that like you know, and I'll put

0:42:39.640 --> 0:42:41.120
<v Speaker 7>up with things like that. But then it comes to

0:42:41.160 --> 0:42:44.560
<v Speaker 7>religion and it's like, oh, that's that's a red flag.

0:42:44.560 --> 0:42:45.000
<v Speaker 3>That's a no.

0:42:45.120 --> 0:42:47.080
<v Speaker 5>I think, yeah, like why is the religion the red

0:42:47.080 --> 0:42:48.400
<v Speaker 5>flag as opposed to the drugs?

0:42:48.520 --> 0:42:50.960
<v Speaker 7>It's normalized because it's like someone smoking weed or like

0:42:51.000 --> 0:42:54.239
<v Speaker 7>taking drugs, like it's normalized. But it's been like, even

0:42:54.280 --> 0:42:56.640
<v Speaker 7>though we are opposite in that way, we're really really

0:42:56.719 --> 0:43:00.000
<v Speaker 7>similar in values. And I think that's like the common threat.

0:43:00.719 --> 0:43:02.799
<v Speaker 6>It's just this ongoing thing, like a relationship is just

0:43:02.840 --> 0:43:04.719
<v Speaker 6>going to be ongoing, and that's what makes it kind

0:43:04.760 --> 0:43:06.879
<v Speaker 6>of fun because it is hard, but that's what makes

0:43:06.920 --> 0:43:08.880
<v Speaker 6>it worth it for me.

0:43:08.920 --> 0:43:11.640
<v Speaker 2>One of the really interesting parts of this conversation was

0:43:11.680 --> 0:43:17.279
<v Speaker 2>this idea that compatibility is not static. It's a constantly

0:43:17.400 --> 0:43:20.319
<v Speaker 2>shifting thing. And I think the more conversations that were

0:43:20.360 --> 0:43:24.640
<v Speaker 2>had in Daisy and Kurt's relationship, the more that they

0:43:24.719 --> 0:43:27.680
<v Speaker 2>realized how compatible they really were. And this idea that

0:43:27.719 --> 0:43:31.239
<v Speaker 2>you can work towards something and have conversations and communicate

0:43:31.280 --> 0:43:34.719
<v Speaker 2>towards something, and it's the understanding of where somebody else

0:43:34.800 --> 0:43:37.880
<v Speaker 2>is coming from. It's this understanding of their background that

0:43:37.960 --> 0:43:40.120
<v Speaker 2>can also build compatibility.

0:43:40.200 --> 0:43:42.000
<v Speaker 4>That it's not just a static thing.

0:43:42.160 --> 0:43:45.680
<v Speaker 5>It's compromise, and that in that sense, compatibility has changed

0:43:45.719 --> 0:43:48.600
<v Speaker 5>because now you're far more compatible because you've decided to

0:43:48.640 --> 0:43:51.360
<v Speaker 5>make some compromise in your relationship. So one hundred percent

0:43:51.640 --> 0:43:53.439
<v Speaker 5>if you do meet someone and there are so many

0:43:53.480 --> 0:43:56.160
<v Speaker 5>aspects that you were just like thurrothing on and you

0:43:56.239 --> 0:43:57.880
<v Speaker 5>want them in your life, but there's something that you

0:43:57.960 --> 0:44:00.840
<v Speaker 5>deem not compatible. It could be worth having the conversation.

0:44:01.480 --> 0:44:03.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think it also just lends itself to

0:44:03.640 --> 0:44:05.799
<v Speaker 2>this idea that sometimes we think we know what we want,

0:44:06.160 --> 0:44:07.600
<v Speaker 2>Like sometimes we have an idea.

0:44:07.840 --> 0:44:09.560
<v Speaker 3>Don't make me laugh, but do you know what I mean?

0:44:09.680 --> 0:44:12.440
<v Speaker 2>Like, sometimes we think we know what we want. We

0:44:12.480 --> 0:44:14.600
<v Speaker 2>think we know that we have a checklist, or we

0:44:14.680 --> 0:44:16.759
<v Speaker 2>have this idea of the type of person that we're

0:44:16.800 --> 0:44:19.560
<v Speaker 2>going to meet, and then somebody comes into our lives

0:44:19.600 --> 0:44:22.640
<v Speaker 2>and we're like, wow, I didn't expect that it was you,

0:44:22.760 --> 0:44:25.120
<v Speaker 2>but it's you, you know. And I think that sometimes

0:44:25.120 --> 0:44:27.359
<v Speaker 2>that can really bowl us off our feet. And if

0:44:27.400 --> 0:44:30.279
<v Speaker 2>we get too hung up on I want someone who

0:44:30.400 --> 0:44:33.719
<v Speaker 2>matches all my checklist in every single way, we kind

0:44:33.719 --> 0:44:35.600
<v Speaker 2>of can go into relationships with a little bit of

0:44:35.600 --> 0:44:39.080
<v Speaker 2>a blinker. Now when we say when I say checklists, like,

0:44:39.120 --> 0:44:40.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm actually not against them. I think it's kind of

0:44:41.000 --> 0:44:43.439
<v Speaker 2>good to have some idea about the person that you want.

0:44:43.480 --> 0:44:45.600
<v Speaker 2>And I think it's really good, especially if you're someone

0:44:45.680 --> 0:44:49.200
<v Speaker 2>who it's really shitty people who are really poor for you,

0:44:49.560 --> 0:44:51.239
<v Speaker 2>I think it's really important to have some sort of

0:44:51.360 --> 0:44:53.960
<v Speaker 2>checklist or some sort of idea. But the thing is

0:44:53.960 --> 0:44:55.759
<v Speaker 2>is like, you don't want that checklist to be so

0:44:55.920 --> 0:44:58.120
<v Speaker 2>rigid that you're drawing and drafting up a Ken dole.

0:44:58.440 --> 0:45:00.480
<v Speaker 2>You want it to be more based around value as

0:45:00.480 --> 0:45:02.560
<v Speaker 2>to who that person is at their deep core and

0:45:02.600 --> 0:45:04.480
<v Speaker 2>does that align with what you want and what you

0:45:04.600 --> 0:45:08.160
<v Speaker 2>love in life as well. Now, when we did the

0:45:08.200 --> 0:45:09.960
<v Speaker 2>call out to you guys, because we wanted to get

0:45:10.040 --> 0:45:12.040
<v Speaker 2>and we wanted to hear your stories. We wanted to

0:45:12.120 --> 0:45:16.000
<v Speaker 2>know who in our life on cut community is living

0:45:16.040 --> 0:45:18.600
<v Speaker 2>and navigating what might be deemed by other people as

0:45:18.640 --> 0:45:23.319
<v Speaker 2>an unconventional relationship. We understand that there is no cookie cutter,

0:45:23.360 --> 0:45:25.920
<v Speaker 2>There is no one size fits all. Even the conversation

0:45:26.000 --> 0:45:28.879
<v Speaker 2>between Daisy and Kurt. There are millions of other people

0:45:29.040 --> 0:45:32.719
<v Speaker 2>navigating similar relationships and doing it very differently. But we

0:45:32.760 --> 0:45:34.719
<v Speaker 2>wanted to make sure that we did our due diligence,

0:45:34.760 --> 0:45:37.160
<v Speaker 2>and we also spoke to an interracial couple who's one

0:45:37.160 --> 0:45:39.880
<v Speaker 2>of our listeners. Amelia has been with her husband Brian

0:45:39.920 --> 0:45:43.120
<v Speaker 2>for five years. Amelia was born here in Australia. She's

0:45:43.160 --> 0:45:46.719
<v Speaker 2>Caucasian and her husband was raised Buddhist and he was

0:45:46.760 --> 0:45:50.399
<v Speaker 2>born in China. Amelia speaks a lot about how being

0:45:50.440 --> 0:45:54.640
<v Speaker 2>in this relationship has made her very aware about microaggression

0:45:54.920 --> 0:45:59.279
<v Speaker 2>and racism within Australia. It also became evident to her

0:45:59.320 --> 0:46:01.840
<v Speaker 2>that a lot of the judgment that she felt was

0:46:01.880 --> 0:46:05.279
<v Speaker 2>from their families and from their in laws, because their

0:46:05.400 --> 0:46:08.759
<v Speaker 2>families had expected or wanted something different for them. As

0:46:08.800 --> 0:46:11.160
<v Speaker 2>I said, Amelia and Brian are happily married and it

0:46:11.200 --> 0:46:14.280
<v Speaker 2>was so great to speak to someone who has successfully

0:46:14.400 --> 0:46:18.160
<v Speaker 2>overcome some of the initial hurdles in regards to compatibility

0:46:18.160 --> 0:46:20.279
<v Speaker 2>that I found at the beginning of the relationship.

0:46:21.400 --> 0:46:23.560
<v Speaker 5>So, Amelia, what were some of the issues that you

0:46:23.600 --> 0:46:25.960
<v Speaker 5>did face early on in your relationship due to the

0:46:25.960 --> 0:46:28.520
<v Speaker 5>fact that you do come from different cultural backgrounds.

0:46:28.719 --> 0:46:31.759
<v Speaker 8>There haven't been many issues between us, but it's been

0:46:32.040 --> 0:46:36.080
<v Speaker 8>our families that have been the biggest issue. His mum

0:46:36.239 --> 0:46:41.680
<v Speaker 8>especially was particularly concerned that I was Caucasian and therefore

0:46:41.719 --> 0:46:44.560
<v Speaker 8>I wouldn't have the same family values as they did,

0:46:45.120 --> 0:46:49.120
<v Speaker 8>and she often made very unfair assumptions about me, especially

0:46:49.160 --> 0:46:53.120
<v Speaker 8>at the beginning of our relationship. Seems like, oh, she's Caucasian,

0:46:53.200 --> 0:46:55.400
<v Speaker 8>so therefore she's not going to want the children to

0:46:55.480 --> 0:47:00.360
<v Speaker 8>learn Mandarin. But these were all assumptions that she made,

0:47:00.440 --> 0:47:04.960
<v Speaker 8>essentially without getting to know me. And if you'd asked me,

0:47:05.480 --> 0:47:07.200
<v Speaker 8>I would have thought it was a great idea for

0:47:07.320 --> 0:47:09.560
<v Speaker 8>our kids to learn another language. Well, I wouldn't I

0:47:09.600 --> 0:47:12.320
<v Speaker 8>want them to learn another language. I guess the biggest

0:47:12.320 --> 0:47:16.439
<v Speaker 8>issue we had was other people's assumptions about each other.

0:47:17.239 --> 0:47:20.359
<v Speaker 8>And so, you know, for example, my parents would say

0:47:20.400 --> 0:47:24.200
<v Speaker 8>things like, oh, he's he's all right for a Chinese guy,

0:47:24.440 --> 0:47:27.560
<v Speaker 8>or his English is really good, and those sorts of

0:47:27.840 --> 0:47:31.239
<v Speaker 8>comments are actually quite racist when you stop and you

0:47:31.320 --> 0:47:36.279
<v Speaker 8>think about them, like, oh, somehow, it's this extraordinary thing

0:47:36.320 --> 0:47:40.400
<v Speaker 8>that this person whose Chinese can speak English with an

0:47:40.400 --> 0:47:43.200
<v Speaker 8>Australian act. We would walk into a Chinese restaurant and

0:47:43.239 --> 0:47:45.879
<v Speaker 8>people would just stare at us, or we would walk

0:47:45.920 --> 0:47:48.960
<v Speaker 8>into an Italian restaurant and people would just stare at us,

0:47:49.000 --> 0:47:54.400
<v Speaker 8>because somehow, in people's minds it was completely baffling to

0:47:54.520 --> 0:47:57.239
<v Speaker 8>them that I could be Caucasian and he could be

0:47:57.280 --> 0:47:59.960
<v Speaker 8>Asian and that we would love each other. Our particular

0:48:00.080 --> 0:48:03.760
<v Speaker 8>relationship dynamic really confuses people because it's not that common

0:48:03.960 --> 0:48:07.040
<v Speaker 8>but yeah, I definitely had no idea that racism still occurred,

0:48:07.040 --> 0:48:09.880
<v Speaker 8>and now I'm much more aware of it. I realized

0:48:09.880 --> 0:48:13.920
<v Speaker 8>like those microaggressions that ethnic minorities face, and you just

0:48:14.000 --> 0:48:15.759
<v Speaker 8>kind of go like, gee, they just put up with this,

0:48:15.840 --> 0:48:18.120
<v Speaker 8>and they just kind of laugh it off because that's

0:48:18.440 --> 0:48:20.799
<v Speaker 8>what their sort of conditioned to do, because if you

0:48:20.880 --> 0:48:23.880
<v Speaker 8>call it out, then you bring more of an awareness

0:48:23.880 --> 0:48:26.040
<v Speaker 8>to the problem and you can embarrass the other person.

0:48:26.080 --> 0:48:27.960
<v Speaker 8>So they'd rather not embarrass the other person.

0:48:28.600 --> 0:48:31.080
<v Speaker 2>How did you overcome some of the cultural differences that

0:48:31.120 --> 0:48:34.319
<v Speaker 2>you were face with and at the time did that

0:48:34.440 --> 0:48:36.480
<v Speaker 2>involve a lot of compromise from the two of you.

0:48:37.280 --> 0:48:42.200
<v Speaker 8>So I think at the beginning, we possibly didn't quite

0:48:42.239 --> 0:48:46.279
<v Speaker 8>put enough time into sort of educating me about Chinese

0:48:46.320 --> 0:48:49.080
<v Speaker 8>culture and what was expected of me. And so as

0:48:49.120 --> 0:48:53.200
<v Speaker 8>a result, the first actually like eighteen months of knowing

0:48:53.239 --> 0:48:57.520
<v Speaker 8>his parents were really difficult because again of this sort

0:48:57.520 --> 0:49:00.400
<v Speaker 8>of like preconceived idea that his mum had about me

0:49:00.520 --> 0:49:04.359
<v Speaker 8>being white and how that would change or affect my

0:49:04.560 --> 0:49:07.200
<v Speaker 8>values as a person, and therefore like it was just

0:49:07.440 --> 0:49:11.880
<v Speaker 8>not compatible with their culture. And so actually it required

0:49:11.920 --> 0:49:13.880
<v Speaker 8>a lot of education. I had to speak to a

0:49:13.920 --> 0:49:16.520
<v Speaker 8>lot of other Chinese people and kind of go like,

0:49:16.800 --> 0:49:19.160
<v Speaker 8>what am I doing wrong here? The thing in Chinese

0:49:19.200 --> 0:49:24.280
<v Speaker 8>culture is you're never outwardly discussing with someone what issues are,

0:49:24.320 --> 0:49:27.280
<v Speaker 8>but it will be sort of like danced around, beating

0:49:27.280 --> 0:49:30.280
<v Speaker 8>around the bush essentially, so I wasn't meant to talk

0:49:30.320 --> 0:49:32.799
<v Speaker 8>about things that I didn't like. If I had to

0:49:32.840 --> 0:49:34.839
<v Speaker 8>address something that I didn't like, it had to be

0:49:34.880 --> 0:49:37.719
<v Speaker 8>through him so he could essentially then like translate it

0:49:37.840 --> 0:49:40.319
<v Speaker 8>to his parents in a way that they accepted it.

0:49:40.360 --> 0:49:43.680
<v Speaker 8>Whereas I'm very open and very honest, and so I

0:49:43.719 --> 0:49:45.879
<v Speaker 8>had to really learn to kind of keep my mouth

0:49:45.920 --> 0:49:50.319
<v Speaker 8>shut and kind of talk to them through him. All

0:49:50.360 --> 0:49:52.640
<v Speaker 8>I could do was just educate myself. So I just

0:49:52.719 --> 0:49:57.239
<v Speaker 8>had to learn from other people what to do. How

0:49:57.239 --> 0:49:59.279
<v Speaker 8>do I show respect to these people? How do I

0:49:59.360 --> 0:50:02.400
<v Speaker 8>show that I'm he is big with their son? And

0:50:03.600 --> 0:50:07.520
<v Speaker 8>as I found out, my in laws are quite traditional.

0:50:07.840 --> 0:50:10.520
<v Speaker 8>But this is like how you should treat your elders.

0:50:10.520 --> 0:50:13.880
<v Speaker 8>Pour them tea, serve them food, give them the last

0:50:14.040 --> 0:50:17.319
<v Speaker 8>bite of the food on the table, open doors for them,

0:50:17.480 --> 0:50:19.919
<v Speaker 8>pull back the chair for them. I had to learn

0:50:20.000 --> 0:50:23.160
<v Speaker 8>to do all these things, which obviously as a white

0:50:23.160 --> 0:50:26.080
<v Speaker 8>person I'd never poured tea for someone before. It's just

0:50:26.160 --> 0:50:29.480
<v Speaker 8>like if you want tea for it yourself. One of

0:50:29.560 --> 0:50:33.719
<v Speaker 8>the differences is that Brian doesn't celebrate Christmas at all,

0:50:33.880 --> 0:50:36.759
<v Speaker 8>has never celebrated Christmas in his life, and I am

0:50:36.880 --> 0:50:39.319
<v Speaker 8>big on Christmas. He was trying to weasel his way

0:50:39.320 --> 0:50:41.600
<v Speaker 8>out of it because I've also got a birthday of December.

0:50:41.760 --> 0:50:43.080
<v Speaker 8>So he was like, what do you mean I have

0:50:43.160 --> 0:50:46.200
<v Speaker 8>to buy a birthday present and a Christmas present.

0:50:46.120 --> 0:50:50.960
<v Speaker 3>Like briant on board this ship, and.

0:50:51.000 --> 0:50:53.319
<v Speaker 8>So like I had to say to him, like, we're

0:50:53.320 --> 0:50:55.560
<v Speaker 8>going to go buy a Christmas tree and we have

0:50:55.680 --> 0:50:57.880
<v Speaker 8>to buy ornaments, and you know, you've got your big

0:50:58.000 --> 0:51:00.400
<v Speaker 8>ornaments and then you've got like your little fillow that

0:51:00.440 --> 0:51:03.440
<v Speaker 8>make the tree, you know, look nice as full. And

0:51:03.480 --> 0:51:05.480
<v Speaker 8>then I have to tell him, you can't just give

0:51:05.560 --> 0:51:08.120
<v Speaker 8>me the present in the packaging that it came in,

0:51:08.200 --> 0:51:09.640
<v Speaker 8>Like you have to wrap.

0:51:09.400 --> 0:51:12.600
<v Speaker 5>It and you have to write a card, and you

0:51:12.600 --> 0:51:14.120
<v Speaker 5>have to leave biscuits out for Santa.

0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:15.480
<v Speaker 4>You have to do a lot of stuff and you

0:51:15.480 --> 0:51:16.600
<v Speaker 4>have to put it under.

0:51:16.400 --> 0:51:19.480
<v Speaker 2>The tree, like there's a process here and take take

0:51:19.480 --> 0:51:20.439
<v Speaker 2>the price tag off.

0:51:20.600 --> 0:51:23.080
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, And so he was like, what do you mean,

0:51:23.120 --> 0:51:25.839
<v Speaker 8>I have to wrap it, and so I was like, look,

0:51:25.840 --> 0:51:29.000
<v Speaker 8>we'll buy some Christmas paper, like wrapping paper. This is

0:51:29.040 --> 0:51:31.560
<v Speaker 8>sort of how do you write the present? He doesn't

0:51:31.600 --> 0:51:34.120
<v Speaker 8>still doesn't wrap presents particularly well, but he's getting better

0:51:34.160 --> 0:51:34.440
<v Speaker 8>at it.

0:51:34.520 --> 0:51:37.120
<v Speaker 2>So you guys, fully compromise on this in that now

0:51:37.200 --> 0:51:40.480
<v Speaker 2>you celebrate Christmas, which is something that previously in his

0:51:40.560 --> 0:51:42.879
<v Speaker 2>upbringing he never would have done. Yea. And are there

0:51:42.880 --> 0:51:48.440
<v Speaker 2>any cultural ceremonies that you now celebrate that are Chinese

0:51:48.880 --> 0:51:51.560
<v Speaker 2>that you obviously would never have been exposed to prior

0:51:51.600 --> 0:51:52.319
<v Speaker 2>to Chinese Year?

0:51:52.719 --> 0:51:56.120
<v Speaker 8>Chinese New Year is like Christmas, New Years, every big

0:51:56.160 --> 0:51:59.880
<v Speaker 8>event that we celebrate in the one event. And the

0:52:00.040 --> 0:52:02.160
<v Speaker 8>think about Chinese New Year is that it changes dat

0:52:02.239 --> 0:52:06.520
<v Speaker 8>every year, so it never falls on the same I'd

0:52:06.600 --> 0:52:08.400
<v Speaker 8>like to keep your guessing. So it's usually at the

0:52:08.400 --> 0:52:11.960
<v Speaker 8>beginning of the year February, but it changes every year.

0:52:12.920 --> 0:52:16.600
<v Speaker 5>With the relationship with your husband's family, when was it

0:52:16.640 --> 0:52:18.600
<v Speaker 5>that they finally became more accepting of you?

0:52:19.120 --> 0:52:23.120
<v Speaker 8>It eventually it just shifted. I think they realized I

0:52:23.280 --> 0:52:27.360
<v Speaker 8>wasn't going anywhere. They realized I was making an effort.

0:52:27.480 --> 0:52:29.880
<v Speaker 8>I was doing the best I could, you know, like

0:52:30.560 --> 0:52:33.279
<v Speaker 8>I don't have a background in this. I don't I

0:52:33.360 --> 0:52:36.360
<v Speaker 8>wasn't brought up like fears and doing my best. And

0:52:36.400 --> 0:52:41.080
<v Speaker 8>I think eventually we realized, like as a family, that

0:52:41.239 --> 0:52:44.560
<v Speaker 8>I wasn't going anywhere, and therefore we all have to

0:52:44.560 --> 0:52:47.560
<v Speaker 8>make an effort to make things more pleasant because we

0:52:47.560 --> 0:52:50.320
<v Speaker 8>weren't going to be able to continue to move forward

0:52:50.800 --> 0:52:54.520
<v Speaker 8>in the manner that we had been. And so certainly

0:52:54.800 --> 0:52:58.240
<v Speaker 8>there were more attempts at speaking English at the table.

0:52:58.640 --> 0:53:02.480
<v Speaker 8>You know, often they would say something in Chinese and

0:53:02.520 --> 0:53:05.360
<v Speaker 8>then one of the family members would then translate it

0:53:05.440 --> 0:53:08.560
<v Speaker 8>into English for me, or we would have a conversation

0:53:08.680 --> 0:53:11.359
<v Speaker 8>in English and then if someone didn't know a word,

0:53:11.400 --> 0:53:14.080
<v Speaker 8>they would say it in Chinese, so then my husband

0:53:14.200 --> 0:53:17.560
<v Speaker 8>could translate it to me. So they certainly started to

0:53:17.880 --> 0:53:20.319
<v Speaker 8>make the effort because I think we all realized that

0:53:20.920 --> 0:53:24.839
<v Speaker 8>we just want what's best for Brian, and we you know,

0:53:24.920 --> 0:53:28.480
<v Speaker 8>we all loved him, and essentially the way we'd been

0:53:28.560 --> 0:53:31.600
<v Speaker 8>acting was we were like asking him which handy wanted

0:53:31.640 --> 0:53:34.560
<v Speaker 8>to cut off, which we then realized we didn't wanted

0:53:34.600 --> 0:53:36.359
<v Speaker 8>to cut off any hands. We wanted to be able

0:53:36.400 --> 0:53:40.120
<v Speaker 8>to move forward together. Brian, he realized he also had

0:53:40.160 --> 0:53:43.680
<v Speaker 8>to kind of educate his parents about what I was

0:53:43.880 --> 0:53:46.480
<v Speaker 8>like and what my family was like, and what my

0:53:46.600 --> 0:53:49.120
<v Speaker 8>upbringing was like, so they could have a bit more

0:53:49.160 --> 0:53:52.719
<v Speaker 8>context and understanding around why I was the way I was.

0:53:53.120 --> 0:53:56.320
<v Speaker 2>What advice do you have for anybody who is listening

0:53:56.400 --> 0:53:59.400
<v Speaker 2>who might be navigating relationship that has cultural differences.

0:53:59.640 --> 0:54:02.360
<v Speaker 8>I think the biggest thing you can do is to

0:54:02.560 --> 0:54:06.480
<v Speaker 8>educate yourself, and if that means even talking to people

0:54:06.560 --> 0:54:11.360
<v Speaker 8>of the same race outside of your partner, to understand

0:54:11.520 --> 0:54:16.040
<v Speaker 8>what the cultural dynamics are, to understand how does respect work,

0:54:16.080 --> 0:54:19.080
<v Speaker 8>how do I show respect? And I think you know,

0:54:19.920 --> 0:54:23.240
<v Speaker 8>being really frank with your partner going this is really tough.

0:54:23.320 --> 0:54:26.160
<v Speaker 8>And if your partner can reciprocate that and go, I know,

0:54:26.360 --> 0:54:29.880
<v Speaker 8>but you know, we'll figure it out together, then I

0:54:29.920 --> 0:54:32.280
<v Speaker 8>think you're on the right track. I think it's about

0:54:32.360 --> 0:54:35.600
<v Speaker 8>being open and honest and realizing you don't have all

0:54:35.640 --> 0:54:38.600
<v Speaker 8>the answers, and also realizing sometimes you have to swallow

0:54:38.640 --> 0:54:43.160
<v Speaker 8>your pride. It's really difficult when you pride yourself as

0:54:43.239 --> 0:54:48.160
<v Speaker 8>an independent, you know, open minded person that speaks the truth,

0:54:48.200 --> 0:54:51.240
<v Speaker 8>and you're suddenly being told you can't talk too much

0:54:51.400 --> 0:54:54.440
<v Speaker 8>or talk about things that will upset other people because

0:54:55.440 --> 0:54:58.480
<v Speaker 8>you know, you've got to keep the peace somehow. So

0:54:58.560 --> 0:55:02.520
<v Speaker 8>I think part of it is is swallowing your pride.

0:55:02.600 --> 0:55:06.080
<v Speaker 8>I know that's maybe not the nicest thing to hear,

0:55:06.280 --> 0:55:11.360
<v Speaker 8>but just going like, this situation is difficult, and I

0:55:11.440 --> 0:55:14.440
<v Speaker 8>need to make this peaceful somehow. I think there's no

0:55:14.520 --> 0:55:17.359
<v Speaker 8>point trying to like be right in a situation all

0:55:17.400 --> 0:55:19.960
<v Speaker 8>the time. Sometimes you've got to just let the waits

0:55:20.040 --> 0:55:21.520
<v Speaker 8>or show over you eventually, you know.

0:55:22.840 --> 0:55:25.520
<v Speaker 5>Well, I absolutely loved these chats today. And the fact

0:55:25.680 --> 0:55:28.919
<v Speaker 5>is there are so many different factors when it comes

0:55:28.960 --> 0:55:32.000
<v Speaker 5>to compatibility in a relationship. There's no right or wrong,

0:55:32.080 --> 0:55:34.040
<v Speaker 5>but there is a lot you need to think about.

0:55:34.040 --> 0:55:36.000
<v Speaker 5>There's a lot you need to negotiate with your partner

0:55:36.080 --> 0:55:38.200
<v Speaker 5>if you do have these fundamental differences and you do

0:55:38.239 --> 0:55:41.120
<v Speaker 5>want a long term relationship, there is no two ways

0:55:41.160 --> 0:55:45.000
<v Speaker 5>around it. Unfortunately, if you do not have compromise in

0:55:45.040 --> 0:55:49.040
<v Speaker 5>the relationship, you can never have a successful relationship where

0:55:49.080 --> 0:55:51.239
<v Speaker 5>the compatibility seems too divisive.

0:55:51.520 --> 0:55:53.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I guess the big like take home message

0:55:53.600 --> 0:55:55.640
<v Speaker 2>for me, especially after speaking to so many of you

0:55:55.680 --> 0:55:58.560
<v Speaker 2>as well, is just like, and we say it every week,

0:55:58.640 --> 0:56:02.040
<v Speaker 2>but the conversation around communication, you know, the more that

0:56:02.080 --> 0:56:05.160
<v Speaker 2>you better understand your partner, the better you understand where

0:56:05.200 --> 0:56:06.919
<v Speaker 2>they come from and how they show up in life,

0:56:07.320 --> 0:56:09.760
<v Speaker 2>the easier it is to support them and to figure

0:56:09.760 --> 0:56:13.000
<v Speaker 2>out whether or not you are actually compatible long term.

0:56:13.200 --> 0:56:15.240
<v Speaker 2>And I know for some of us, it's so fucking

0:56:15.320 --> 0:56:18.320
<v Speaker 2>hard to ask those questions because it's not the questions

0:56:18.360 --> 0:56:20.600
<v Speaker 2>that are scary, it's the answers that are scary. And

0:56:20.640 --> 0:56:22.640
<v Speaker 2>I think sometimes we avoid it and we skirt around

0:56:22.680 --> 0:56:25.680
<v Speaker 2>it because we're too scared of being disappointed and maybe

0:56:25.719 --> 0:56:26.720
<v Speaker 2>having to try again.

0:56:27.120 --> 0:56:28.400
<v Speaker 4>But it's just so.

0:56:28.320 --> 0:56:31.799
<v Speaker 2>Awesome to speak to people, especially from our own little life,

0:56:31.840 --> 0:56:34.680
<v Speaker 2>uncut family and community who we love. It's just so

0:56:34.719 --> 0:56:37.160
<v Speaker 2>amazing to speak to people who have come from these

0:56:37.160 --> 0:56:39.759
<v Speaker 2>different worlds and they're making their relationships work.

0:56:43.880 --> 0:56:46.400
<v Speaker 5>Okay, time for our suck and sweet. You know, we

0:56:46.480 --> 0:56:47.799
<v Speaker 5>never finish an episode without it.

0:56:47.800 --> 0:56:51.279
<v Speaker 3>That highlights in our low lights are you can go.

0:56:51.360 --> 0:56:54.800
<v Speaker 2>First, you are back, my suck and my sweet, my sweet,

0:56:54.800 --> 0:56:55.400
<v Speaker 2>my suck is you.

0:56:55.400 --> 0:56:58.279
<v Speaker 4>Were I did it around the wrong way?

0:56:58.560 --> 0:57:00.600
<v Speaker 2>No, my sweet, my sweet, is that your home and

0:57:00.640 --> 0:57:02.400
<v Speaker 2>that we get to record together and that we're no

0:57:02.480 --> 0:57:04.719
<v Speaker 2>longer having to look at each other on zoom and

0:57:04.760 --> 0:57:06.600
<v Speaker 2>I can touch you and kiss your face.

0:57:07.200 --> 0:57:09.320
<v Speaker 3>It makes you give me the wrong idea of what happens,

0:57:11.719 --> 0:57:12.320
<v Speaker 3>and you're suck.

0:57:12.719 --> 0:57:14.319
<v Speaker 2>And my suck for the week is that I had

0:57:14.320 --> 0:57:16.040
<v Speaker 2>a fucking dirty hangover on Sunday.

0:57:16.160 --> 0:57:19.320
<v Speaker 5>Okay, this is unheard of, but our mind's exactly the same.

0:57:19.400 --> 0:57:21.320
<v Speaker 5>My sweet has been back with you, and my suck

0:57:21.400 --> 0:57:23.760
<v Speaker 5>is that I had a dirty hangover. The only good

0:57:23.760 --> 0:57:25.800
<v Speaker 5>part about my dirty hangover is I didn't wake up

0:57:25.800 --> 0:57:27.840
<v Speaker 5>to a trial. Oh I woke up to two of them.

0:57:27.840 --> 0:57:28.800
<v Speaker 5>You could have had one of mine.

0:57:28.800 --> 0:57:29.320
<v Speaker 4>I had a spare.

0:57:29.440 --> 0:57:31.200
<v Speaker 3>We've never had the same sucking suite in life. That

0:57:31.240 --> 0:57:31.960
<v Speaker 3>What a way to finish.

0:57:32.000 --> 0:57:35.520
<v Speaker 2>We're so compatible, We're so compatible. What a perfect end

0:57:35.520 --> 0:57:37.960
<v Speaker 2>of the episode. Also, I'm going to check another suite

0:57:37.960 --> 0:57:40.840
<v Speaker 2>in there. I just got to see some friends.

0:57:40.320 --> 0:57:41.520
<v Speaker 4>And god, it felt good.

0:57:41.840 --> 0:57:43.720
<v Speaker 2>And I put on makeup, but I will high her

0:57:43.800 --> 0:57:46.120
<v Speaker 2>shoes and you look smoking. Oh man, do you know

0:57:46.160 --> 0:57:49.040
<v Speaker 2>what it's Sometimes it's nice to like put makeup on

0:57:49.120 --> 0:57:49.480
<v Speaker 2>and be like.

0:57:49.560 --> 0:57:52.360
<v Speaker 4>Remember, you're still hot. That's what my face can look like.

0:57:52.560 --> 0:57:55.480
<v Speaker 4>I still haven't. That's that's better than what we thought.

0:57:55.600 --> 0:57:57.360
<v Speaker 4>It's better than what I thought we were at we're

0:57:57.360 --> 0:58:00.200
<v Speaker 4>working with something here. People. Guys, thanks to everyone that in.

0:58:00.280 --> 0:58:02.720
<v Speaker 5>We absolutely loved reading all your stories. We loved reading

0:58:02.840 --> 0:58:05.120
<v Speaker 5>some of you weren't so successful in your relationships, but

0:58:05.280 --> 0:58:07.080
<v Speaker 5>so many of you were, and that's really what we

0:58:07.120 --> 0:58:09.280
<v Speaker 5>wanted to take home from this, so thank you to everyone.

0:58:09.520 --> 0:58:09.880
<v Speaker 4>Totally.

0:58:09.880 --> 0:58:11.440
<v Speaker 2>We didn't even touch on the fact that a lot

0:58:11.480 --> 0:58:13.560
<v Speaker 2>of you guys were like, yeah, actually it didn't work out.

0:58:13.720 --> 0:58:15.440
<v Speaker 4>We just talked about the success stories.

0:58:15.560 --> 0:58:17.280
<v Speaker 5>Yeah it doesn't Maybe we can do another episode on

0:58:17.320 --> 0:58:19.520
<v Speaker 5>the failures. But we you know, we love love here,

0:58:19.560 --> 0:58:22.280
<v Speaker 5>so we wanted to highlight the successes and what the

0:58:22.320 --> 0:58:24.840
<v Speaker 5>relationship that you can have. Just because you're from different

0:58:24.840 --> 0:58:28.520
<v Speaker 5>parts of life. Please keep your accidentally unfilters coming in

0:58:28.640 --> 0:58:31.440
<v Speaker 5>your confessionals any other awkward, embarrassing story.

0:58:31.640 --> 0:58:33.160
<v Speaker 4>Please. If you're eating pudding.

0:58:32.880 --> 0:58:35.440
<v Speaker 5>And cutting your toenails, don't put the toenails, cutting the pudding,

0:58:35.840 --> 0:58:36.680
<v Speaker 5>and guys.

0:58:36.400 --> 0:58:39.439
<v Speaker 2>You know the drill, Tell your mom, tell your dad,

0:58:39.480 --> 0:58:42.520
<v Speaker 2>tell your dog, tell your friends. I don't know, just

0:58:42.560 --> 0:58:46.160
<v Speaker 2>tell everybody and share a lout because we love love.

0:58:47.960 --> 0:58:48.640
<v Speaker 4>I'm about to wear

0:59:00.320 --> 0:59:10.120
<v Speaker 2>Bakababao takaba bababa karabeo