Speaker 1: Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 1: on Cut. This is Arf Stung Cut, and this is
Speaker 1: a very very very very special edition because not only
Speaker 1: is it presented by Laura and myself, but we have
Speaker 1: a very special guest.
Speaker 2: Well, this best, very very special guest is someone who
Speaker 2: is quite close to me. It is someone who I
Speaker 2: cohabitate with. It is someone who father two of my children.
Speaker 2: It is also the man that I won on a
Speaker 2: reality TV show. Welcome to the podcast, Mattie Jay.
Speaker 3: Is this my third or fourth episode I've been in?
Speaker 1: Oh, don't act like you don't know you've been keeping tally?
Speaker 3: Is it my fifth? What happens when I get to
Speaker 3: ten episodes?
Speaker 2: You get played, you get a gold start. You might
Speaker 2: get a blowy not by who?
Speaker 1: Okay, guys is Daily Mail. This is a rough start.
Speaker 1: We do have Maddy Jay as a guest host on
Speaker 1: today's episode. He's going to be answering some questions. We're
Speaker 1: gonna have a little bit of a laugh.
Speaker 3: I love how you guys have really teased this, Like
Speaker 3: everyone's like we get it. It's matt like put them on.
Speaker 1: Also, like who else comes on here and does ask
Speaker 1: gun cut with you?
Speaker 2: But this is the first time that the three of
Speaker 2: us a sexy menajatoire, has done ask Uncut together.
Speaker 1: It's the first threesome.
Speaker 3: Britt has dreamed of this moment since you guys first
Speaker 3: started doing the podcast and.
Speaker 1: Dreamt or dreamed awkward. I mean, nobody likes the grammar Queen.
Speaker 1: That was me. Either way, you guys are roasting mean
Speaker 1: and I roasted you back. It doesn't work in our
Speaker 1: own bedroom you would say such things to us. I
Speaker 1: actually don't even know if it was correct. Anyway, it is.
Speaker 3: It is nice that we could, I mean, we could
Speaker 3: gang up on Brit. I mean, you guys could gang
Speaker 3: up on me.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel about this threesome.
Speaker 2: No, we're not going up on Britt. It's if anything,
Speaker 2: it's going to be Britta and I gang up.
Speaker 3: On you today.
Speaker 1: Matthew Johnson perfect.
Speaker 3: Sorry, didn't mean that to get weird. Sorry.
Speaker 1: Sorry, So I just want to tell you something I
Speaker 1: just that I think is really funny. I think Kevin
Speaker 1: Rudd big cool. I think Kevin Rudd needs to be
Speaker 1: Prime Minister. Did you hear what he did today? Funny?
Speaker 1: If you guys haven't read it. Long story short, he
Speaker 1: dropped his daughter off in noos or at a restaurant,
Speaker 1: and then there must have been some people that were
Speaker 1: be intoxicated that thought that was their uber So they
Speaker 1: went in and piled in into Kevin Rud's car and
Speaker 1: told him where they were going. And he was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, cool, I'm just gonna roll with this.
Speaker 1: I will take these random drunk people to their destination.
Speaker 3: Surely it's Kevin Rudd. Everybody knows what he looks like.
Speaker 3: Surely you jump in the car, you're gonna look in
Speaker 3: the rearview mirror and you're gonna look at the fact
Speaker 3: that it's Kevin Rudd driving, and you're gonna go, wow,
Speaker 3: at Time's really that tough for you, keV. What's going on?
Speaker 1: What a good guy?
Speaker 2: Though, Like you know, maybe they thought he'd just taken
Speaker 2: up a new occupation.
Speaker 3: Well, I think he is out of work. He's been
Speaker 3: out of work for a while, hasn't he.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, correct me if I'm wrong. I
Speaker 1: thought once you were prime minister or president, once you finished,
Speaker 1: you don't know, you don't stop getting an income. That
Speaker 1: was my impression. You continue to be paid for like
Speaker 1: X amount of years after do.
Speaker 2: You know what, Even if that's not true, let's just
Speaker 2: start that room.
Speaker 1: I just don't know what we do here. I don't
Speaker 1: know how well we look after our people here.
Speaker 3: I mean, don't look at me. I don't know anything
Speaker 3: about politics. All I know is about funny Youba drivers
Speaker 3: and Kevin Rudd.
Speaker 2: So you guys come here for us to answer your deep,
Speaker 2: dark and burning questions. But you know what, it sounds like,
Speaker 2: we don't know what we're talking about. So I just
Speaker 2: got good on him, Matthew. We have you here for
Speaker 2: a man's perspective today, to answer all of the questions
Speaker 2: and give an extra little spin on how you think
Speaker 2: things should go down. Yes, but before we get into
Speaker 2: all that, tell us what's been happening in your life?
Speaker 2: I mean I know, but tell everybody else.
Speaker 3: I know too. I have an accidentally unfiltered story of
Speaker 3: literally of you that happened to me. I've never told
Speaker 3: you this, Oh my god. And I saw someone posted
Speaker 3: in the life on cut facebook group that they I
Speaker 3: think it was like a pink dildo they left on
Speaker 3: the sink when a plumber came to the house. Yes,
Speaker 3: I didn't leave a dildo out. Okay, So this happened.
Speaker 3: This happened.
Speaker 2: I like, wait, like that you said you didn't leave
Speaker 2: it out like you have one anyway, Like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: put it away.
Speaker 1: I washed my dildo, but they put it away.
Speaker 3: Nothing wrong with guys earning a dildo, not for me.
Speaker 3: Just just to clarify, he's laming.
Speaker 1: We've got like a whole staf all his under the bed.
Speaker 3: Okay, So what happened? I want to say a few
Speaker 3: weeks ago, this is maybe just after Lola was born.
Speaker 3: When it comes to masturbating, I don't use any lubricant.
Speaker 3: I just never have. I've never needed to. Except I
Speaker 3: saw in one of the top drawers in the bathroom
Speaker 3: there's a tube there. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's yours from before we got together. It's
Speaker 2: literally moved with us from your old apartment. It's it's
Speaker 2: a loube that you've used with somebody else, because.
Speaker 1: We've never used it.
Speaker 3: I don't know whose it is. It's five year old
Speaker 3: loop living in a sharehouse. We packed up somehow I
Speaker 3: ended up with.
Speaker 2: Someone's read the loob out straight after we finished this record,
Speaker 2: I'm going to put the loub in the beitch.
Speaker 3: I need to check the use by date on that loop.
Speaker 1: It's done. It's five years old. I'm telling you it's done.
Speaker 3: Okay, So obviously you know you had given birth. We
Speaker 3: weren't in a position where we were about to have sex.
Speaker 3: So I went and I was the trimmer. It was
Speaker 3: in the bottom drawer. As I got it out, I
Speaker 3: looked at the end of the drawer and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: there's that lubricant. And I was like, maybe I should
Speaker 3: give that a try, just to mix things up and
Speaker 3: see what it's like, see what I'm missing out on. Anyway,
Speaker 3: I did that, and I brought it into the main bathroom.
Speaker 3: We have two bathrooms in our house. I brought it
Speaker 3: from the en suite into the main bathroom.
Speaker 1: So he traveled with the loop, traveled with the loob.
Speaker 3: You had your friends over and then they were using
Speaker 3: the bathroom. And it wasn't until like midway through that night,
Speaker 3: when they came over for dinner that I realized that
Speaker 3: I still left the loub in the bathroom next to
Speaker 3: the hand washed next to.
Speaker 1: A pile of tissues. Okay, hang on, this is this
Speaker 1: is okay, Because I thought where this was going was
Speaker 1: that you went to jack off while We're had a
Speaker 1: friend's over and I was like, it's just a bit weird.
Speaker 2: Well, I actually thought it was going to be that
Speaker 2: he accidentally used the lube as toothpaste, so like all
Speaker 2: of this was okay in comparison to her.
Speaker 1: I thought the story was going.
Speaker 3: But it wasn't until I went to the bathroom to
Speaker 3: do a WII that I went to wash my hands
Speaker 3: and I was like, what's that weird choop doing that?
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, and three of the girls had
Speaker 3: gone to the bathroom and they would have known that.
Speaker 1: How did it feel using expired lubel on your penis
Speaker 1: quite good? I'm perfect. I'm glad that that. Like, I
Speaker 1: wasn't prepared for that, but I'm glad we got there.
Speaker 1: I can follow on from that. It's not me though.
Speaker 3: I've been holding onto that story for weeks now, and
Speaker 3: it feels so good. Did that off my chest?
Speaker 1: I think that's funny. But people would have just thought
Speaker 1: that you were getting lucky with Laura. Your friends would
Speaker 1: have just been like, damn, Laura, how are you going
Speaker 1: back to that after a week?
Speaker 2: Laura, three weeks after giving birth. It's just our house
Speaker 2: is just covered in lubricant. Anyway, brit where have you
Speaker 2: been tell us a story that has nothing to do
Speaker 2: with my sex life?
Speaker 1: Well, we had someone else writing, and that was just
Speaker 1: reminded me of that we had someone else writing. And
Speaker 1: she had just renovated her house, particularly the two new bathrooms.
Speaker 1: So her family brothers, dad, and stepdad all were coming
Speaker 1: over to check out the new tiles and the house
Speaker 1: and everything. So takes them. She was really proud. She's like,
Speaker 1: she took them into the first bathroom, she was showing
Speaker 1: them everything and they were like getting really into it
Speaker 1: and looking really intricately at the tiles that they've used
Speaker 1: and the grout and complimenting them. Then they took them
Speaker 1: into the next bathroom. She's like, going in, this one's
Speaker 1: this one's my favorite. Her dad walks in, her stepdad
Speaker 1: walks in, and then they both walk out really quickly,
Speaker 1: and she was like, I was weird because I were
Speaker 1: really into the other bathroom and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: So she walks in there and she accidentally left a
Speaker 1: very very very full and bloody pad on the bench
Speaker 1: and she's like and she she's like, I had rolled
Speaker 1: it up and I'm meant to put in the bathroom,
Speaker 1: but it hit it somehow throughout the morning, unrolled itself
Speaker 1: so that there was a bull blitt so and stuck
Speaker 1: it to the wall. So they walked out that like,
Speaker 1: very nicely, very nice. We better hit the road now.
Speaker 3: She's come back here. Let me show you around.
Speaker 1: She said, you didn't look at the tiles anyway. That's
Speaker 1: enough of that. Okay.
Speaker 3: There is nothing scarier for a guy than seeing a
Speaker 3: used pad or tampon, and it's very natural. There's nothing
Speaker 3: wrong with it that will send shivers down any man's spine.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, well before we get into answering your deep,
Speaker 2: dark and burning questions, Matthew Johnson, why don't you tell
Speaker 2: us all where.
Speaker 1: You've been the last eight weeks.
Speaker 2: It's lovely to see you again. It's nice to have
Speaker 2: you home for in a relationship. This is my fiance everyone,
Speaker 2: I've missed him terribly since our child was born.
Speaker 3: Is it weird having me around the house so much? Now? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I thought it was a single mom. Now she sent
Speaker 1: to me today, Oh fin Ney, to sign that up
Speaker 1: for another reality show? He's around too much?
Speaker 3: Well, hey this celebrity big brother, maybe I could do that.
Speaker 2: Please don't so what Matt is talking about is that
Speaker 2: Lula was a week old, Matt started dancing with the Stars,
Speaker 2: which is.
Speaker 1: Like six days a week, ten twelve hour days. He
Speaker 1: was nonexistent.
Speaker 3: Well, I thought maybe I would train like two maybe
Speaker 3: three days at the most, because I thought, you know,
Speaker 3: how hard can it be? It's just dancing, it's effectively
Speaker 3: just walking briskly to music, famous.
Speaker 1: Last words, and how hard can it be? Why don't
Speaker 1: you tell us how hard it is?
Speaker 2: But I mean, Matt has done a few TikTok videos,
Speaker 2: so he's pretty well versed in the world of dancing.
Speaker 2: Like I mean, it's surprising, if anything, that if he
Speaker 2: doesn't win this actually do you know.
Speaker 3: What's funny though, was there was a point where I
Speaker 3: was training heaps because I really felt like I was struggling.
Speaker 3: Dance didn't come naturally to me a surprise while and they're.
Speaker 1: Crazy because you're such an athlete.
Speaker 3: And Laura was like, thank you, thank you, Britt.
Speaker 1: We all remember your swimming story.
Speaker 3: Matt.
Speaker 2: I told you would end up being you and me
Speaker 2: piling up on that. I knew that this is how
Speaker 2: this is going to.
Speaker 3: Be workplace bullying. I'd like to speak to HR please
Speaker 3: we are hr. So I was training maybe six days
Speaker 3: a week and you were saying, hey, like, surely everybody
Speaker 3: else isn't training as much as you are. And then
Speaker 3: you watched one of my dances and you were like,
Speaker 3: you need to train more. It was like a Sunday
Speaker 3: and I was like, my feet turned and my knees
Speaker 3: are really achy, and you were like, keep training.
Speaker 2: It was atually, it's been a really full on eight week.
Speaker 2: So Lola is now eight weeks old. Matt started training, No,
Speaker 2: she's nine weeks I think. I mean, who's counting? Matt
Speaker 2: started when she was one week old, and it was like,
Speaker 2: like normally Matt and I we were very, very fifty
Speaker 2: to fifty when it comes to parenting.
Speaker 1: But then going from.
Speaker 3: I'd say it's ninety eight to two percent of the mo.
Speaker 2: Going from having like that much support to having two
Speaker 2: kids and no support was a really full on.
Speaker 1: It's been hard, but.
Speaker 3: Anyway, one of the hardest things I think I've ever
Speaker 3: done in this part of my life.
Speaker 1: Were you more nervous for dancing with the stars than
Speaker 1: you were when you were about to meet all the
Speaker 1: girls on the red carpet for The Bachelor?
Speaker 3: Oh? Very good. Question. I think. Look, actually, I think
Speaker 3: I was more nervous on Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 2: Really, the question I want to know is, were you
Speaker 2: more nervous at the finale of The Bachelor when you
Speaker 2: were going to tell me that you loved me?
Speaker 1: Oh stars?
Speaker 3: Dancing with the Stars, I was more nervous. I think
Speaker 3: it was. Yeah, it was. It was one of the
Speaker 3: most nerve wracking things I've ever done.
Speaker 1: It.
Speaker 3: I was so far out of my comfort zone to
Speaker 3: the point where I didn't want to go and perform.
Speaker 3: My first dance was such a difficult one and I'd
Speaker 3: never done it before, and everybody else was so much
Speaker 3: more experience than I was. I was like, I need
Speaker 3: to fake an injury. I need to have some excuse
Speaker 3: that will mean I don't have to perform in front
Speaker 3: of everybody, because.
Speaker 1: I need to ship myself.
Speaker 3: I thought about shitting myself. I really did. I was like,
Speaker 3: is that what I'm gonna have to do?
Speaker 1: My out?
Speaker 2: So you know that things are really bad If your
Speaker 2: only option to get out of something is shitting yourself,
Speaker 2: Like if shooting or something is the less worse option,
Speaker 2: you know you're.
Speaker 1: In a really bad but it's an out though people
Speaker 1: will give that to you. They'll be like, oh go
Speaker 1: quick like that.
Speaker 3: I was seriously considering it. I was like, should I
Speaker 3: do it? What options do I have? Thankfully I didn't
Speaker 3: ship myself.
Speaker 2: I do want to just say though, over the last
Speaker 2: eight weeks, like Matt has been training so hard and
Speaker 2: he has dedicated so much time to this.
Speaker 1: Show, which is why it's so surprising how bad he was.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I was going to say is
Speaker 1: the opposite. You're really good. It's actually amazing how much
Speaker 1: better you've gotten.
Speaker 2: And I'm so proud of you, and it's been really Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's so excited.
Speaker 3: I can I ask is it slightly arousing in any
Speaker 3: way watching me dance?
Speaker 2: Is it slightly arousing watching you dance with a really
Speaker 2: hot twenty four year old?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Actually not funny?
Speaker 4: Bad?
Speaker 3: But what about the moves? When I had some in
Speaker 3: my routines, I had a couple of little solo moments.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come on, Look you do a good lift and
Speaker 2: a good spirit, and you look great in a pair
Speaker 2: of Cuban heels.
Speaker 3: Boy, I know I do.
Speaker 1: Laura and I did get to go to the opening night.
Speaker 1: We did go and watch Matt's first dance and as
Speaker 1: much as I pay you out, Matt, you know that
Speaker 1: if it was true, I wouldn't pay you out. It
Speaker 1: was brilliant to watch you. Your facials were everything, like
Speaker 1: everything facial.
Speaker 3: I don't want to watch it bad.
Speaker 1: Your facials were the best part. But we could see,
Speaker 1: Laura and I were in the audience feeling your nerves
Speaker 1: like they were penetrating us. We could you were the
Speaker 1: most nervous. Your nerves were penetrating us. That's how I felt.
Speaker 1: I felt chain smoking out the back. But I really
Speaker 1: felt for you because I have never seen you like that.
Speaker 1: Usually you're so confident in everything you do, and I
Speaker 1: could physically see it on your face that you were like, shit,
Speaker 1: now is the time to either shit myself or shine. Shine,
Speaker 1: shit or shine.
Speaker 3: It's weird how dancing is just such a nerve wracking
Speaker 3: experience for guys like I would always try and avoid
Speaker 3: the dance flow. But now the best part is Laura,
Speaker 3: I think we have to think about the wedding and
Speaker 3: the fact that we're going to have one hell of
Speaker 3: a first dance now.
Speaker 2: Actually on this so, before Matt and I met, like well,
Speaker 2: I used to do Solta dancing lessons I was really
Speaker 2: into it, and when we met on the show, Matt
Speaker 2: kind of scoffed at me and was like, you do
Speaker 2: salsa dancing. He's like, if anything, that was like a
Speaker 2: notch on the belt. He was like, no, you know,
Speaker 2: all these other girls have other interests that are more
Speaker 2: aligned with my interests. And I was like, salsa dancing
Speaker 2: so much fun, and now I don't do salsa dancing anymore.
Speaker 2: And when it came to talking about our wedding dance
Speaker 2: just the other night, Matt was like, I think we
Speaker 2: should do a Viennese.
Speaker 3: Walt It's a Medley brit So it'll be a Vinnie's
Speaker 3: waltz to begin with, and then it'll transition into something
Speaker 3: more fun, like a samba.
Speaker 1: Or a charta.
Speaker 2: So what Matt was trying to say, if you guys
Speaker 2: don't know what a Viennese waltz is, which why would you.
Speaker 1: No one knows what Avnnes waltz is.
Speaker 2: It's very similar to like a very stiff ballroom dance
Speaker 2: where the man has to have very stiff frame and
Speaker 2: his elbow goes out in like a ninety degree angle.
Speaker 2: And Matt was talking about that being our dance, and
Speaker 2: I was like.
Speaker 3: Are you on all I love it?
Speaker 1: It would be beautiful, but it would be hysterical, like
Speaker 1: it's not you or no way.
Speaker 2: I'm vetoing this right now. I'm just going to get
Speaker 2: up on more to work. That's what I'm all about
Speaker 2: for my Wait there.
Speaker 3: You do you? You do your walls working, and I'm
Speaker 3: going to be doing the solo Vinni's waltz. It is
Speaker 3: not normally done by one person on his own, but
Speaker 3: that's what I'm going to do because I love it.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I'm going to put my guesses in now.
Speaker 1: I've got tickets on beck Hewitt to take out the crown.
Speaker 1: I know she's done it the first time years and
Speaker 1: years and years ago. I just feel like she's a natural.
Speaker 1: She's very athletic, she's quick. She was always a cool
Speaker 1: girl on Summer Bay.
Speaker 3: And she grew up dancing. Well.
Speaker 2: What a lot of people don't know about this season
Speaker 2: as well, is that this is actually an all star season.
Speaker 2: So this season of Dancing with the Stars, everybody who's
Speaker 2: on the show has been on a Dancing with the
Speaker 2: Stars before. They've either won it or they've come very
Speaker 2: close to winning it. Yeah, and then there's three wildcards,
Speaker 2: and someone who I want to know about who is
Speaker 2: one of the wildcards is Chappelle Corby.
Speaker 1: How did she go?
Speaker 3: She's actually quite good. I was surprised at her dancing ability,
Speaker 3: but I was also really surprised at just how nice
Speaker 3: and genuine she is. I met her were doing a
Speaker 3: publicity shoot and we were sitting next to each other
Speaker 3: whilst we're getting makeup, and she was just so lovely.
Speaker 3: She was really warm and genuine and I really liked
Speaker 3: hanging out with her. She was probably one of my
Speaker 3: favorite celebrities that I mean, I know other people like
Speaker 3: you can't call her a celebrity, and I know that
Speaker 3: she's not really a celebrity, but she's a really big
Speaker 3: part of pop culture in Australia.
Speaker 2: Well, she has that notoriety. I mean, it's been very controversial.
Speaker 2: I think there's been lots of articles that have come
Speaker 2: out and there's been a lot of conversation and chatter
Speaker 2: around Chappelle doing Dancing with the Stars, But every single
Speaker 2: person in Australia knows who she is.
Speaker 1: I'm all for people rewriting their story and I've heard
Speaker 1: nothing but good things about Chappelle. So It's funny you
Speaker 1: say that, because anyone that has spoken about her has
Speaker 1: said really, really great things. But I get why there
Speaker 1: are some people that are up in arms when they're
Speaker 1: putting Chappelle on a show the title says stars, purely
Speaker 1: for the fact that if your kids are at home
Speaker 1: and they're looking up, these are the people that essentially
Speaker 1: we want our kids to look up to.
Speaker 3: People are like, mummy, who's that. You're like, well, that's
Speaker 3: Tom Williams. He was on Better Home than Gardens as
Speaker 3: a carpenter. And then if they go and who's that,
Speaker 3: and you go, well, that's Chappelle Corby and she was
Speaker 3: found guilty.
Speaker 1: Of wedding some marijuana and a boogie bag.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a tricky conversation to have, but I really
Speaker 3: do think that a lot of people's perception of Chappelle
Speaker 3: will change after they watch her on Dancing with the Starts.
Speaker 2: And I think people's perception of her had already started
Speaker 2: to change after Sas, which you know, we got to
Speaker 2: see her humanized as a person and not just as
Speaker 2: this person who's been in articles and in prison. And
Speaker 2: hope she gets to rewrite her own.
Speaker 3: Story and to put into perspective. There's a lot of
Speaker 3: catering on site. At the end of the day, a
Speaker 3: lot of it just ends up in the bin. Chappelle
Speaker 3: would actually gather up that food and then she would
Speaker 3: dish it out to the homeless. Wow. I would do
Speaker 3: the same thing, but.
Speaker 1: No, no, no no.
Speaker 2: I would come home and open the fridge and there
Speaker 2: was like eighteen containers of food in the fridge, which,
Speaker 2: mind you, I was breastfeeding, so I'm quite happy to
Speaker 2: eat it all. But knowing that one person was taking
Speaker 2: her to the homeless and the other person was stopped.
Speaker 1: See, that's pretty amazing to hear. These are the things
Speaker 1: you don't hear about. So thank you.
Speaker 3: I was looking after Laura, you know about, but we
Speaker 3: didn't have time to.
Speaker 1: Cook the things you don't hear about. Yes, Matt, you
Speaker 1: bring Laura home food, but Chappelle bring the leftover food
Speaker 1: to the homeless like no one else did that. So
Speaker 1: I think that's hats off to her, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: that we've got a platform to voice this.
Speaker 3: We're both just lovely people.
Speaker 2: Well, guys, Dancing with the Star actually starts at this Sunday,
Speaker 2: so if you do want to see Matt in a
Speaker 2: pair of Cuban heels doing a beautiful charter that is
Speaker 2: on Sunday night on Channel seven.
Speaker 1: Well, Matt, we're looking forward to watching whatever goes down
Speaker 1: on Sunday Night. I can't wait to watch you shake
Speaker 1: that tush. That sounded weird, Laura. I'm sorry, I don't
Speaker 1: want to watch your shaking. I can't wait to watch it.
Speaker 3: Dan, can I just say, can you stop looking at
Speaker 3: my toush please? But I know I'm in good shape
Speaker 3: right now. I've been training a lot, but this is
Speaker 3: just ridiculous. You're making me feel very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: It was a really bad way for me to say
Speaker 1: I can't wait to watch you dance.
Speaker 2: Anyway, guys, let's get into the episode what you have
Speaker 2: come here to listen for. And this is the first
Speaker 2: time that we have all done and ask uncut episode together,
Speaker 2: the three of us. It's always just like Matt moonlighting
Speaker 2: with Bread or we've done an episode together the two
Speaker 2: of us before.
Speaker 1: But never away a menajetoir of ask gunkut. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: hit the ground running and start this off. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: summarize this one, guys, because it was a long one,
Speaker 1: but essentially we had a female write in that says,
Speaker 1: I have been fighting really badly with my partner. It
Speaker 1: is very, very toxic. He has done something wrong by me,
Speaker 1: He's cheated on me in the past. Now we're having
Speaker 1: a texting fight. What I want to know is what
Speaker 1: is more powerful writing something abusive and quippy back or
Speaker 1: radio silence and not responding at all.
Speaker 2: Okay, it depends on what the outcome is. I mean,
Speaker 2: obviously she wants to break up with him completely, like
Speaker 2: is it over now?
Speaker 1: She's like, I want to know what is better in
Speaker 1: a fight? What is more powerful? Like, as a male, Matt,
Speaker 1: what is going to hurt you more? Are you hanging
Speaker 1: on the line waiting to see someone writes back and
Speaker 1: they never get it? Or would you rather something that's
Speaker 1: really nasty come through?
Speaker 3: Okay? I think I feel bad that I'm trying to
Speaker 3: encourage someone to inflict more emotional pain into their partner,
Speaker 3: but they have done the wrong thing. I think in
Speaker 3: that situation, there's nothing that's gonna be more effective than
Speaker 3: someone saying that they're just really disappointed and like them
Speaker 3: being upset the.
Speaker 1: Dad quote like I'm disappointed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think if you're just really aggressive and abusive.
Speaker 3: I think it almost makes them like it's easier. I
Speaker 3: think it's easy for them to react in that way
Speaker 3: than someone crying and saying, I'm just so hurt and
Speaker 3: you know, I can't believe you've done this to me.
Speaker 3: I think that's gonna that is going to be worse
Speaker 3: than anything else. Any any kind of swearing or name
Speaker 3: calling is not going to be as effective as that.
Speaker 2: Well, I agree with you in saying that, Like I think,
Speaker 2: and we say this a lot in this podcast, so
Speaker 2: there's power and vulnerability in that, Like it really softens
Speaker 2: someone and allows them to see what they've done wrong.
Speaker 2: Matt and I are both so stubborn that when we
Speaker 2: fight with each other, neither one wants to back down.
Speaker 1: The World War three, I have to like take the
Speaker 1: kids and run.
Speaker 3: I have to keep a tally of like who was
Speaker 3: last person to apologize, because we take it in turns.
Speaker 2: But we always talk it out and we don't do
Speaker 2: the silent treatment like that.
Speaker 1: For me, the silent treatment is pure torture.
Speaker 3: I think the longest I've gone is being in bed
Speaker 3: with you for about forty five minutes without back facing
Speaker 3: each other before eventually I was like my hand came
Speaker 3: crawling across the bed and like tapped on the shoulder
Speaker 3: and I was like, hey, okay.
Speaker 1: So Brown on track. Sorry, now we're having a therapy
Speaker 1: session for man and Laura. We'll get back to answering
Speaker 1: your question. We love each other. I think that, honestly,
Speaker 1: I think what Mattis said is true, that it's way
Speaker 1: more powerful to say I'm disappointed than you bleep bleep, bleep,
Speaker 1: bleep bleep. So one hundred percent go the disappointment card
Speaker 1: if you're going to respond. But again, I think silence
Speaker 1: if this is over and you know you're not going
Speaker 1: back to him, you know you don't want to repair anything,
Speaker 1: and you want to inflict the most pain possible. There's
Speaker 1: nothing worse than someone that won't respond to you, especially
Speaker 1: when you know they're waiting for it, they're on the
Speaker 1: other end of the line. They'll often message you, please,
Speaker 1: please answer me, please respond. If you give them silence,
Speaker 1: that's what's going to hurt the most. But you know,
Speaker 1: here at Life on Cut, we don't encourage ghosting. I
Speaker 1: still think that you should end it amicably. I still
Speaker 1: think you should explain the situation and if you don't
Speaker 1: want to talk to him. I would just say, look,
Speaker 1: I've said what I want to say. I'm done now.
Speaker 1: I don't think there's anything else to continue in this conversation.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think it is very situational dependent, Like
Speaker 2: you can't just silence treatment someone that you want to
Speaker 2: continue to have a relationship with that is really shitty behavior,
Speaker 2: and it ends up meaning that sometimes the silent treatment
Speaker 2: is worse punishment than what the crime is to start with.
Speaker 2: Maybe not in the case of cheating, but if someone's
Speaker 2: cheated on you, I think you'd really have to want
Speaker 2: to take some time out to assess whether or not
Speaker 2: you even want to be with them anyway, Like that's
Speaker 2: the bigger question right there. But if you've decided you
Speaker 2: don't want to be with the person anymore, what they've
Speaker 2: done is too big, it's too damaging, and you're not
Speaker 2: going to reconcile things, then yeah, I don't think that
Speaker 2: you need to talk something to death. That does come
Speaker 2: a point where the conversation ends and you're allowed to
Speaker 2: go silent on them, and no answer is an answer
Speaker 2: that speaks for itself. Being silent can sometimes be the
Speaker 2: biggest way of punishing someone as well.
Speaker 1: But what Laura just said is really the drive home here.
Speaker 1: If you do want to continue a relationship with him,
Speaker 1: then you can't do the silent treatment. It's just toxic.
Speaker 1: It's not healthy, it's not compatible with a long term,
Speaker 1: healthy relationship. So just define in your head first what
Speaker 1: you want. Do you want to continue this relationship, maybe
Speaker 1: it's even with a friend or a partner or a
Speaker 1: family member. If you know the relationship is going to
Speaker 1: continue or you want it to continue, you have the
Speaker 1: adult conversation and at least just text them to say
Speaker 1: you don't want to speak, give them that at a minimum.
Speaker 3: Okay, do you know what I think would be a
Speaker 3: really great idea and this is really simple here, but
Speaker 3: you could just key his car, I think.
Speaker 1: And that is Matt's last episode with life on cut.
Speaker 2: You could also just like cut all his clothes up
Speaker 2: as well and put everything in a bag on the
Speaker 2: front lawn, and that that works perfectly too if you
Speaker 2: want to really escalate the silent treatment. But one more
Speaker 2: thing I want to say about silent treatment though, is
Speaker 2: expanding on what you just said, Brett. It's okay to
Speaker 2: say to someone I need some time out, like I
Speaker 2: don't want to continue this conversation. This needs to stop,
Speaker 2: and I need to go away for a couple of
Speaker 2: hours to clear my head and come back and have it.
Speaker 2: That's not necessarily giving someone the silent treatment. That's like
Speaker 2: walking away in order to give yourself a little bit
Speaker 2: of space and a little bit of clarity, and sometimes
Speaker 2: that's really needed in a fight to be able to
Speaker 2: come back and go cool. I've calmed down now and
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say things that I don't mean,
Speaker 2: and that iguiness you're looking at me with the biggest
Speaker 2: smirk on your face because we may have had a
Speaker 2: fight and that entailed this a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously, I've been training a lot, rich, I've
Speaker 3: been gone a lot, and Laura has been really incredible.
Speaker 3: You've done so much, and you've done it with me
Speaker 3: being not in the house, and you've done it whilst
Speaker 3: I have been in the household. So I've got to
Speaker 3: commend you on that. I did come home. I was tired,
Speaker 3: you'd had a tricky day. We got into an argument,
Speaker 3: and credit to you, Laura, you walked away and didn't
Speaker 3: tell me where you were going.
Speaker 2: I didn't walk away. I drove to my sister's house
Speaker 2: and had some wine. I came back a few hours later.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm space it be shocked and
Speaker 1: acts like I don't know that this happened.
Speaker 3: I was like, she'll be back, and then after ten minutes,
Speaker 3: I was like, I hope she'll be back, but no, no,
Speaker 3: and then I knew it was fine. I think the
Speaker 3: breaking point is when after we have a little bit
Speaker 3: of time apart, we then see each other and then
Speaker 3: you have a smirk on your face and I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 3: we're good here.
Speaker 2: But I also think that that's like an important thing,
Speaker 2: like fights are normal in a relationship so long as
Speaker 2: that they're always resolved and resolves respectfully, and like for us,
Speaker 2: this is totally turned into therapy session. I know, so.
Speaker 1: Weird question for us, like.
Speaker 2: We resolve every disagreement or argument that we have before
Speaker 2: we go to sleep. We never go to sleep angry
Speaker 2: at each other. I think that going back to this
Speaker 2: very specific question, which is is it better to give
Speaker 2: someone the silent treatment or is it better to antagonize someone,
Speaker 2: I think the answer to this is no, it's not
Speaker 2: better to antagonize someone. The silent treatment in this example
Speaker 2: is better because by you being angry and aggressive, aggression
Speaker 2: is only ever met with aggression, and you, guys, are
Speaker 2: going to escalate this and it's going to mean that
Speaker 2: the person is cheated on you is no longer remorse
Speaker 2: for the cheating. It's just driven home the fact that
Speaker 2: they're hating on you as well, and you've given them
Speaker 2: a reason to be angry at you.
Speaker 1: So silent treatment, I think wins out in this situation.
Speaker 3: So just to clarify, no keying of the car and.
Speaker 1: Wardrobe.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, So I've got question number two. This one
Speaker 2: does come with a little bit of a trigger warning
Speaker 2: because we are talking about mental health, but I'm going
Speaker 2: to paraphrase this because it was a little bit of
Speaker 2: a long one and it's also a really hard one,
Speaker 2: I think to tackle. So I've thought about this a
Speaker 2: lot today. The person who's written in their best friend
Speaker 2: is really struggling with depression and has been for the
Speaker 2: past couple of years. Over the last year, it has
Speaker 2: been a constant theme of the friendship, and it has
Speaker 2: been really, really difficult for her to be able to
Speaker 2: support her friend. Her friend who has depression is refusing
Speaker 2: to go and seek help for it. And the person
Speaker 2: who wrote in the question is asked, at what point
Speaker 2: can I walk away from this friendship or at what
Speaker 2: point can I put some distance between our friendship? And
Speaker 2: does that make me an asshole by wanting to put
Speaker 2: some distance in our friendship?
Speaker 1: This is a tricky one. I mean, it's tricky, and
Speaker 1: it's not tricky for me. It's tricky because one hundred percent,
Speaker 1: you need to be there to support your friends and
Speaker 1: your family. Everyone's going to go through a hard time
Speaker 1: and everyone's going to need that support person at some
Speaker 1: point in their life. The problem with this is that's
Speaker 1: okay when the person with the problem is reaching out
Speaker 1: for help and wanting to help themselves. If they're refusing help,
Speaker 1: you can't constantly be the person that carries the weight
Speaker 1: of all of their problems. If you're working through it
Speaker 1: with them and you know they are actively seeking treatment,
Speaker 1: then if possible, yeah, continue on that journey as much
Speaker 1: as you can and support them if it's getting to
Speaker 1: the point where it's affecting your mental health. There's a
Speaker 1: reason that they say on a plane in an emergency
Speaker 1: that you take your oxygen mask first so that you
Speaker 1: can help others. There's a point where you need to
Speaker 1: look after yourself first so you can look after other people.
Speaker 1: If it's one hundred percent affecting your mental health, then
Speaker 1: you need to take a step back to get make
Speaker 1: sure you're back on track. Then you can either go
Speaker 1: go back in again and help try to get them
Speaker 1: treatment again. So you'll go with them do whatever you can.
Speaker 1: But for sure that comes to a point where if
Speaker 1: they are not willing to do anything at all from
Speaker 1: themselves and it's bringing you down to a level that
Speaker 1: it's bad for your mental health one hundred percent, you
Speaker 1: can walk away from that.
Speaker 3: But I think if you are going to walk away,
Speaker 3: you need to speak to family and friends as well.
Speaker 3: I think it can't just be all on you as
Speaker 3: one person to try and help this other friend through
Speaker 3: a situation, because you know, if you're going to step away,
Speaker 3: which you're able to do, you want to make sure
Speaker 3: this person still isn't left in a position of being
Speaker 3: really vulnerable. So I think I would hope that there
Speaker 3: is enough support network where somebody can if you want
Speaker 3: to tap out, somebody else can tap in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, whether that's like you go to their family maybe
Speaker 1: and say, look, she's really struggling and I'm not enough
Speaker 1: for her, Like I can't be there as much as
Speaker 1: she needs and I need someone else to take it on.
Speaker 1: I think that's a really good point to make, Matt,
Speaker 1: that don't just run away from it and leave your
Speaker 1: friend hi and dry with absolutely no one. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I guess the last thing that I want to add
Speaker 1: to this is like, you have to take care of
Speaker 1: yourself at some point. There does come a point where
Speaker 1: your own mental health and what toll that's taking on
Speaker 1: you has to take priority. But you can have that
Speaker 1: conversation with the person as well. I think having a
Speaker 1: really honest and open conversation before just tapping out where
Speaker 1: they're going to feel a banded sitting down and saying,
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like we're having these same conversations
Speaker 1: on repeat. I feel like you're not making any progress
Speaker 1: in how you feel, and I really really want you
Speaker 1: to go see someone because I don't have the skills
Speaker 1: of the qualifications to keep having these conversations with you.
Speaker 1: So either we can't keep having this conversation, or you
Speaker 1: go and seek help. And I think that that at
Speaker 1: least they then understand where you're at and they're not
Speaker 1: going to feel like you've just pulled the rug underneath them,
Speaker 1: which is really important as well. Such a serious question
Speaker 1: it is, but it's important because I think it's something
Speaker 1: a lot of people struggle with. And I know we
Speaker 1: get a lot of questions based on what do I
Speaker 1: do when my friend has a mental health problem? Like
Speaker 1: we do receive a lot of those, and we will
Speaker 1: do a proper episode on it with a psychologist guys
Speaker 1: like that is in the works, but for now, I
Speaker 1: think that this is important. Look after yourself, but also
Speaker 1: make sure you're looking after your friend, all right, Maddie,
Speaker 1: Jay bring us home with a third question, question number three.
Speaker 3: And this was actually a conversation I was having with
Speaker 3: a friend of mine recently, and I thought it was
Speaker 3: quite interesting because I don't know if I know the
Speaker 3: answer to this question, but he was saying, is there
Speaker 3: a limit to the number of times you can break
Speaker 3: up with someone before you need to call it quits?
Speaker 3: So he moved out here from overseas with his partner,
Speaker 3: and when they first arrived in the country, it was
Speaker 3: a really tricky time where he couldn't get a job,
Speaker 3: he didn't have many friends. She had landed the dream job,
Speaker 3: and so there was this real big disconnect with how
Speaker 3: they were both settling into the country. He almost resented
Speaker 3: her for the fact that everything was falling into place,
Speaker 3: whereas he was really stuck in a rut with his
Speaker 3: professional career. And you know, when you're not working, you're
Speaker 3: not meeting new people. So it's really hard when you're
Speaker 3: in a brand new country and you don't have your
Speaker 3: normal network of friends. So they break up because of that,
Speaker 3: got back together. Then there was other issues where there
Speaker 3: was jealousy, the break up because of that, then got
Speaker 3: back together. They break up a third time, and he's
Speaker 3: now in a position where he really wants to get
Speaker 3: back together with a but he's wondering, Hey, do you
Speaker 3: think enough's enough? After three times of breaking up and
Speaker 3: getting back together? Should I just call it quits or
Speaker 3: do you think there's still a chance for us to
Speaker 3: be happy together.
Speaker 1: I mean, how many times you can break up before
Speaker 1: it's over for good. It's it's pretty open ended for
Speaker 1: me and very situational. I think it's dependent on the
Speaker 1: reason you're breaking up. If you are breaking up for
Speaker 1: the same reason over and over again, like if one
Speaker 1: of you is cheating or being unfaithful over and over
Speaker 1: and over again. Then I mean for me, I would
Speaker 1: probably say two was the limit. If it's something like that.
Speaker 1: I don't think cheating and infidelity has to be over.
Speaker 1: It's very dependent on the situation. But for me, if
Speaker 1: it's something like in fidelity, I would be like two
Speaker 1: times that I'm out. But if you two really love
Speaker 1: each other and the reason you're breaking up is because
Speaker 1: at that point of time, one of you can't get
Speaker 1: to the other side of the country.
Speaker 3: Or okay, what about if it's squabbling, Let's say, yeah,
Speaker 3: it does that you love each other, but it's just
Speaker 3: there's little TIFFs and little fians that continuously pop up.
Speaker 1: No one wants to squabble. No one wants the life
Speaker 1: of squabbling. So if you're a squabbler and that's the
Speaker 1: reason tap out that you don't a lifetimes of bloody
Speaker 1: long time to squabble, I.
Speaker 2: Won one hundred percent agree. And I think that there's
Speaker 2: kind of a limit, like what you said, Britt, If
Speaker 2: it's because it's situational or there's something that has been
Speaker 2: keeping you apart and there's a physical reason as to
Speaker 2: why it hasn't worked, then sure give it another shot.
Speaker 2: But if it's because of your personalities or just over
Speaker 2: time there's this nigglingness or something unless something fundamentally changes
Speaker 2: in who you are as people like that change needs
Speaker 2: to be clear as day, like they've stopped drinking alcohol,
Speaker 2: or they're not doing drugs anymore, they're not party, whatever
Speaker 2: it is. That's like adding to the causality of why
Speaker 2: you're fighting. But if nothing has actually changed, and it's
Speaker 2: just that you're gonna work on yourselves together, I think
Speaker 2: three times. Come on, guys, you've worked on it, You've tried.
Speaker 2: It doesn't fucking work. Yes, you love each other, but sometimes,
Speaker 2: and we talked about.
Speaker 1: This in the podcast for Love, it is not enough.
Speaker 1: It's not enough.
Speaker 2: You need to have so many other things that make
Speaker 2: the relationship right, and nobody wants to spend a fucking
Speaker 2: lifetime vickery.
Speaker 1: I've got some friends that break up a lot. They
Speaker 1: love each other to death, none of them have been unfaithful,
Speaker 1: but they annoy each other to the point that they're like,
Speaker 1: I can't do this, I need space. And they're constantly
Speaker 1: going on these breaks, and in this reason, I'm like,
Speaker 1: end it. And you're going to spend a lifetime of annoying.
Speaker 3: Each other some people do need that. I think though
Speaker 3: some people kind of thrive off that environment where it
Speaker 3: is like tumultuous and you know, there's constant drama and
Speaker 3: there's this push and pull between the two people.
Speaker 1: Well, I think they mistake that for passion. I think
Speaker 1: people mistake that for a passion in a relationship and
Speaker 1: we fight for each other. And I'm not not a
Speaker 1: believer of that. I think that like passion should be
Speaker 1: like you want to rip each other's clothes off in
Speaker 1: the bedroom, not that like you need to hate each
Speaker 1: other so that you can make up.
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. And I think that like when you
Speaker 2: do have that sort of volatility to a relationship, that's
Speaker 2: when you're erring into This is actually toxic.
Speaker 1: It's not good for either of us.
Speaker 2: You shouldn't be in a constant's flux between like hating
Speaker 2: the person you're with and then loving the person so
Speaker 2: much that it's overwhelming. There should be some constant in
Speaker 2: a relationship.
Speaker 1: And if you want to get if you really want
Speaker 1: to be with someone like Matt your friend, he probably
Speaker 1: shouldn't be questioning do you reckon? I should get back
Speaker 1: with her? If he wants to get back with her,
Speaker 1: he should be like, fucking miss so I want to
Speaker 1: get back with her. I want to make it work.
Speaker 1: Not asking friends, like I just think that that means
Speaker 1: like maybe maybe you miss them, maybe you're a bit bored,
Speaker 1: but that's what.
Speaker 2: But also I think as well, when you start asking friends,
Speaker 2: it's because there's a part of that which is like embarrassment,
Speaker 2: Like it's a bit embarrassing to constantly be breaking up
Speaker 2: and getting back with the same person. You kind of think,
Speaker 2: what are my friends going to think? What is my
Speaker 2: family going to think that we can't seem.
Speaker 1: To make it work?
Speaker 2: And I guess like maybe sometimes it is great to
Speaker 2: get an outsider's perspective and speak to your friends and
Speaker 2: speak to your family, because sometimes they can see things
Speaker 2: that you can't see about your relationship and they might say, hey,
Speaker 2: you might think you're really in love with this person,
Speaker 2: but you treat them like shit when you're together. And
Speaker 2: I don't think that it's a good idea that you
Speaker 2: get back together.
Speaker 3: Because there's nothing more awkward than having wine with a
Speaker 3: friend and absolutely hating on your partner and then the
Speaker 3: week later being like, by the way, Jim is coming
Speaker 3: to dinner back together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we spoke about that recently. Actually, you should just
Speaker 1: never bad mouth your friends X because it's all so
Speaker 1: bad when they're like, hey, you got back with Bobby
Speaker 1: and you're like, fuck.
Speaker 2: Great, Yeah, you know I hate Please don't tell him.
Speaker 1: Guys. That's it. Three quick questions Matt, thanks for coming
Speaker 1: on the pod today.
Speaker 3: I feel like threes on enough. I just want more,
Speaker 3: Like I'm just getting warmed up.
Speaker 1: It's because you want to get that blowjob. Right. We'll
Speaker 1: give your guys an update next weep going.
Speaker 3: If we do a two hour episode, that's pretty much
Speaker 3: the equivalent of ten apps. Let's do it all.
Speaker 2: Right, guys, you know the drill. If you haven't asked
Speaker 2: uncut question for us, please slide into our dms at
Speaker 2: life on Cut podcast. You can also leave a review
Speaker 2: on Apple Podcasts and you can subscribe there as well.
Speaker 1: And guys, you know the drill.
Speaker 2: Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell
Speaker 2: your cat, and your fish and your friends and everybody.
Speaker 4: Also also also just just sorry, but before I forget,
Speaker 4: if you want to see one of the world's best
Speaker 4: and I say that with like a squirmish.
Speaker 1: Of the and make a little asterisk at the top.
Speaker 3: The best charge, I'll snap onto the bottle. I'll say
Speaker 3: the best chart shut I could possibly do Channel seven
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Speaker 4: Just sit back and enjoy it because I'm gonna put
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