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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.

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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just

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Speaker 2: wants answers Now. School holidays they must be just the

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Speaker 2: most fun time. I hope you're enjoying your school holidays.

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Speaker 2: This doctor Justin Coulson, I'm the founder of Happy Families

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Speaker 2: dot com dot you and dad to six kids recently

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Speaker 2: had some great conversations on the Happy Families podcast. Want

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Speaker 2: to share some highlights from the podcast with you now

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Speaker 2: now and then I get to talk with an absolute

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Speaker 2: giant when it comes to research, knowledge and understanding. Susan

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Speaker 2: Engel is one of those giants. She wrote one of

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Speaker 2: my favorite books. It's called The Hungry Mind. It's not

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Speaker 2: a light read. It's an academically oriented treatise on why

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Speaker 2: our kids are not curious in the classroom and what

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Speaker 2: we can do to help them to be more curious.

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Speaker 2: The Hungry Mind and also the author of the Intellectual

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Speaker 2: Lives of Children. So in episode two hundred and eleven,

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Speaker 2: Kylie and I talked with Susan about how we can

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Speaker 2: help our children to become more curious. Talk about curiosity,

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Speaker 2: I mean, how do we help our children become more curious?

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Speaker 1: You know, one of the things I talk about in

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Speaker 1: the book is this idea that at birth children begins

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Speaker 1: seeking patterns and familiar and they know the difference between

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Speaker 1: what's familiar and unfamiliar. So right away they show signs

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Speaker 1: of knowing the difference between, say, their mother's voice or

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Speaker 1: their father's voice. But often at birth it's their biological

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Speaker 1: mother's voice that they're familiar with because we think they

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Speaker 1: heard it in utero, so and very quickly they know

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Speaker 1: the difference between the people that they see a lot

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Speaker 1: and the people they don't. And then quickly that extends

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Speaker 1: to other things they're familiar with and their ability to

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Speaker 1: respond differently or they do respond differently when they're shown

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Speaker 1: something different. And that's what I call in both that

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Speaker 1: book and the new book a novelty detector. It's one

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Speaker 1: of the most powerful tools that babies are born with.

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Speaker 1: And the second piece of that is that they have

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Speaker 1: a great urge to become comfortable with they're familiar with

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Speaker 1: whatever isn't familiar to them, So they want to incorporate

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Speaker 1: what's new into what they know. And when you think

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Speaker 1: about it, none of us could survive if everything was

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Speaker 1: constantly surprising to us. We depend on the fact that

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Speaker 1: many things become familiar and routine, whether it's the people

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Speaker 1: you see every day, or the routines of breakfast or

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Speaker 1: putting your shoes on, or what's around the corner from

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Speaker 1: your house. This is not unique to humans. Rats have

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Speaker 1: this characteristic too. They seek to sort of obtain the

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Speaker 1: unknown what is so interesting, So part of it is

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Speaker 1: an urge to make the unfamiliar familiar, and that's there

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Speaker 1: at birth. One of the things that makes humans so

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Speaker 1: cool is they had this particular kind of curiosity, which

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Speaker 1: is called epistemic curiosity, the eagerness to find out more

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Speaker 1: about why things are the way they are, how things happened.

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Speaker 1: You clearly had a lot of that because faced with

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Speaker 1: a sense that you weren't doing well as a dad,

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Speaker 1: or that your kids weren't doing what you wanted them to,

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Speaker 1: you could have done a million different things. You could

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Speaker 1: have stuck with it and been angry and just kept

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Speaker 1: trying the same old approach, but you didn't. You not

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Speaker 1: only changed your approach, you wanted to understand more about

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Speaker 1: what under what was going on, the whys and the

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Speaker 1: house and the whats of it all. And that's a

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Speaker 1: fundamental human characteristic and a very powerful one. I could

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Speaker 1: go on and on about all that it explains in

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Speaker 1: human in the best of human behavior. What's interesting about

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Speaker 1: little kids is they very quickly become very familiar with

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Speaker 1: the every day. So, you know, the bottle of juice

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Speaker 1: instead of milk is no longer a surprise to them,

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Speaker 1: and the dog walking in the door isn't a surprise.

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Speaker 1: And the grandmother or babysitter or a neighbor who comes

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Speaker 1: in they get familiar with, and they start to be

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Speaker 1: interested in a slightly what will I say, a subtler

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Speaker 1: level of surprise. They begin looking for surprise in more

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Speaker 1: fine grain ways. So suddenly it's which toy is different

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Speaker 1: from the others, or which animal that they haven't seen before.

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Speaker 1: They almost are looking for surprises in the things that

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Speaker 1: interest them. So go back to the dinosaur expert, the

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Speaker 1: five year old dinosaur expert. Very quickly they know everything

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Speaker 1: there is to know about me. They know about everything

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Speaker 1: about t rex and whatever else the other dinosaurs are,

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Speaker 1: and they begin the real little young five year old

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Speaker 1: experts begin to be surprised about subtler things, which things

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Speaker 1: that t rex can and can't fight, whether the t

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Speaker 1: rex can or can't stand the cold. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: making this up. I know nothing about dinosaurs, but so

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Speaker 1: part of the task for grown ups is to give

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Speaker 1: their children enough experiences, whether it's books or things, or stories,

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Speaker 1: or walks, different ways to go to school, or noticing

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Speaker 1: things in the grocery store. It doesn't have to be fancy,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be a museum, but giving them

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Speaker 1: enough thing so they can be surprised because the same

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Speaker 1: old things will no longer be surprising to them.

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Speaker 2: That's Professor Susan Engel, the author of the books The

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Speaker 2: Hungry Mind and The Intellectual Lives of Children. To hear

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Speaker 2: more of that conversation, visit episode two hundred and eleven

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Speaker 2: of the Happy Families podcast. Neurodiverse children up beautiful, but

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Speaker 2: they also bring unique challenges for parents and educators. The

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Speaker 2: world does not always accommodate them easily or well. Communication, affection, behavior, learning,

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Speaker 2: and almost every other aspect of life can be challenging

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Speaker 2: for the child and their families. The webinar A Parent's

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Speaker 2: Guide to Autism by leading autism expert Michelle Garnett can

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Speaker 2: help parents and educators strengthen the bond with their autistic

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Speaker 2: children for better outcomes for children and families. A parent's

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Speaker 2: Guide to Autism is available at Happy Families dot com

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Speaker 2: dot au. Well, that just about wraps up the Happy

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Speaker 2: Families podcast for today, But just before we finish things off,

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Speaker 2: I need to let you know about the books that

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Speaker 2: I've written that can make such a difference in your

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Speaker 2: family's life. There's twenty one Days to a Happier Family,

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Speaker 2: which is online wherever you buy your books, or in

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Speaker 2: bookstores as well. Twenty one Days to a Happier Family

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Speaker 2: is about how you can create habits to make your

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Speaker 2: family happier. One of the best selling books on resilience

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Speaker 2: over the last handful of years has been Nine Ways

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Speaker 2: to a Resilient Child. Nine Ways to a Resilient Child

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Speaker 2: is a book that I wrote that's designed to help

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Speaker 2: you to understand all of the things that we might

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Speaker 2: be doing that undermine our kids' resilience and find ways

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Speaker 2: that we can boost their resilience. Right back up, the

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Speaker 2: book that I think is my parenting bible, the one

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Speaker 2: that I recommend to everyone if you've got a young family,

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Speaker 2: is Ten Things Every Parent Needs to Know. In that book,

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Speaker 2: you will discover what to do about getting on the

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Speaker 2: same page as your partner, How you can discipline your

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Speaker 2: children effectively, what to do about screen time, How you

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Speaker 2: can manage sibling rivalry. The list goes on and on

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Speaker 2: and on, and the one that I'm most proud of

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Speaker 2: of all is Misconnection. Misconnection Way your teenage daughter hate you,

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Speaker 2: expects the world and needs to talk. If you've got

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Speaker 2: tween or teen girls, this is the book that considers

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Speaker 2: all of the big issues when it comes to raising

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Speaker 2: tween and teen girls. I'd love for you to check

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Speaker 2: those books out and more. They're all available at Happy

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Speaker 2: families dot com, dot au or wherever you buy your books.

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Speaker 2: Twenty one Days to a Happier Family, Nine Ways to

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Speaker 2: a Resilient Child, miss Connection, and ten Things every Parent

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Speaker 2: needs to Know. Oh and my seventh book is coming

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Speaker 2: out soon. More details in the next few weeks. On

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Speaker 2: that one. It's especially for dad's expecting that can't wait

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Speaker 2: for you to discover more about that soon. The Happy

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Speaker 2: Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.

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Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. And if you'd like

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Speaker 2: more and fo about making your family happier, check out

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Speaker 2: those book books Happy families dot Com. Dot You or

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Speaker 2: just visit the website, have a look at the articles,

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Speaker 2: the blogs, and keep on listening to the Happy Families

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Speaker 2: podcast