Speaker 1: Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamuta Land you do not deserve because
Speaker 2: I'm a professional. Hey guys, and welcome back to another
Speaker 2: episode of Life on Cut. I'm Brittany and I'm produced
Speaker 2: a Keishaw filling in for Laura. Yes, our one and
Speaker 2: only beloved Laura Burne is still sashetting her way across
Speaker 2: the dance floor on Dancing with the Stars. What's that
Speaker 2: knee kick thing that we saw her do a lot
Speaker 2: on Sunday? I don't know, but she did it about
Speaker 2: a thousand times. She's done it. She's doing a lot
Speaker 2: of kicking at the moment. Do you know that I
Speaker 2: went to a bar class last night and I thought
Speaker 2: of Laura. I was like, oh, that's nice, very romantic.
Speaker 2: Do you know bar like the mix between pilates and ballet?
Speaker 2: And then I went to a bar last night. I
Speaker 2: was drowning my sorrows and I was thinking about Laura.
Speaker 2: I haven't seen her in a while. I went to
Speaker 2: one of those ballet ballads kind of glasses, and now
Speaker 2: my butt is so sore. I feel like you could
Speaker 2: bounce coins off of it. Okay, is this an age thing?
Speaker 2: Because I also went to the gym and I cannot move?
Speaker 2: Is it because we're getting older? I don't know what
Speaker 2: it is. I thought I was. I always thought I
Speaker 2: was like relatively feared or healthy. But every part of
Speaker 2: my body is sore. I can't cough, I can't laugh.
Speaker 2: And it was just one gym class. Well, this is
Speaker 2: what Laura's been saying. I mean, she's been training for
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks now, but she's like three months.
Speaker 2: I think I'm so sorely, you know those it's the
Speaker 2: little muscles that you don't use all the time. Like
Speaker 2: for me, it's not the quds, it's the tiny ones
Speaker 2: in rain, like one of the glutes. Joking anyway, very sore.
Speaker 2: And I think that you know we're channeling some Laurer energy.
Speaker 2: Well I think mine was, And like I think I've
Speaker 2: been downplaying it. I've been so horrifically ill for weeks
Speaker 2: and I've managed to I think pretend I haven't been,
Speaker 2: but I have been. I was so so unwell and
Speaker 2: just as I thought I got better, I got sick again.
Speaker 2: So two nights ago, so I on, and how are
Speaker 2: you telling me this? Like as I know that you're
Speaker 2: telling the podcast family that you've been very unwell, but
Speaker 2: I am probably the most whip. Oh yeah, Kisha had
Speaker 2: to come over and save me and bring me drugs
Speaker 2: and take Delilah because I couldn't look after I was
Speaker 2: just yeah, it was bad anyway, This made me think
Speaker 2: of something funny. So two nights ago, I've been getting
Speaker 2: this vertigo and getting really dizzy and unwell, which is
Speaker 2: very unusual. This is not something that's ever happened, but
Speaker 2: like waking up dizzy with the world spinning and then vomiting,
Speaker 2: very very unusual. So I don't know if it's something
Speaker 2: to do with virus I had, or hopefully it's not
Speaker 2: something new that I've been getting happy with, something like
Speaker 2: many airs or something. It's quite serious but not funny.
Speaker 1: Part I was vomiting for twelve fifteen hours straight, couldn't
Speaker 1: sit down, couldn't move my head, couldn't look left or
Speaker 1: right or up.
Speaker 2: If every time I moved, I'd vomit. It was really horrific.
Speaker 2: So Keisha ended up bringing me over some anti nausea stuff,
Speaker 2: and she saved the day for me, which was amazing.
Speaker 2: When heroes where capes, my friend, oh no, they do
Speaker 2: not summer producers of the podcast, and so she took
Speaker 2: Delilah and just let me t t I and sleep
Speaker 2: and vomiting. Peace anyway, I guess about fifteen to seventeen
Speaker 2: hours went past of like vomiting and bean unwell, and
Speaker 2: then I finally was like, okay, I think it's past.
Speaker 2: I felt hungover, and I was like, I need to
Speaker 2: eat something. I felt so unwell for so long.
Speaker 1: I haven't eaten, haven't got anything in my stomach, haven't
Speaker 1: been able to drink, couldn't even keep water down.
Speaker 2: So I was like, I need to get back on
Speaker 2: tracks and roast feeling when you're like dehydrate it. But
Speaker 2: actually being hungover is a really good comparison because you
Speaker 2: haven't eaten for so long, you feel like a prune
Speaker 2: or like a sultana. Yeah, but you know when you
Speaker 2: know that food makes you feel better, something greasy, a
Speaker 2: coke or like you know. So I was like, I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: I'm interjecting you. When I was texting you being like hey,
Speaker 2: I'll come and get Delilah, but you know, I'll stop
Speaker 2: in at the pharmacy and get you some stuff on
Speaker 2: the way, Like what do you need. We were going
Speaker 2: through it all, there were group chats, it was all happening,
Speaker 2: and then she sends me your message. But you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: also if you could get some hot chips. I was like,
Speaker 2: it's nine o'clock in the morning. I don't even know
Speaker 2: where I would get hot chips, and I don't know
Speaker 2: if you're being serious. Yeah, I was serious because I've
Speaker 2: been vomiting for so long, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: just wanted some greasy hot chips anyway. I was like,
Speaker 2: you gotta get uber eats of those, mate, I'm not
Speaker 2: going to the hot chip store at nine o'clock on
Speaker 2: a Saturday morning. I don't think it's anything open at
Speaker 2: nine o'clock. But Lucky didn't because I continued to vomit
Speaker 2: all day. So it's good that I didn't get hot
Speaker 2: chips at nine o'clock in the morning. So I'm like, yes,
Speaker 2: I'm going to order my food now, I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: back on track. And I'm so hungry, I'm so greasy
Speaker 2: and I'm still hungover, So I get on to Uber
Speaker 2: Eats and I get very excited and I order chicken snitzel.
Speaker 2: I'm like, great, But every time I order it, I
Speaker 2: click into the picture and I'm like to look at
Speaker 2: it because you know, you need to eventually start salivy.
Speaker 2: So I clicked onto it and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm getting that snitzel. It's so big. Then I keeps growing.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you know, I'm adding chips, so
Speaker 2: I added hot chips. I was like, and I'm addening
Speaker 2: those two hash browns. Hash Browns. Better get a coke
Speaker 2: as well. Got a coke. Then I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: but I have to hydrate. Gonna get a poweraide out
Speaker 2: of the power raiding. Then I was like, last minute, Oh,
Speaker 2: it looks a bit dry out of tubble gravy in yeah,
Speaker 2: so light order. It's just me last minute. I added
Speaker 2: the gravy in okay, and I'm glad I did because
Speaker 2: it's very dry chicken sizzle anyway. Also, you know you've
Speaker 2: been vomiting for a while, so your throats are like
Speaker 2: the gravy is a great addition.
Speaker 1: So I'm very excited at the prospect of this food coming.
Speaker 1: And then within two minutes I get a notification on
Speaker 1: uber e's your orders on the way. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: my five stars is going to this uber ryha, five
Speaker 1: stars is going to this restaurant. If you are getting this,
Speaker 1: if you have done this in two minutes, bravo.
Speaker 2: Four minutes later because it wasn't far. Your order is approaching.
Speaker 2: And I was like, this is incredible. How did you
Speaker 2: even cook the nissel in that time? And I was like,
Speaker 2: this is when all my dreams come true. So I
Speaker 2: opened the door. Get the bag, doesn't feel that heavy,
Speaker 2: Walk inside, sit down, get everything out, like, get my
Speaker 2: plates out, get everything ready.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. I opened the bag, much to my disma.
Speaker 1: All that's in there is a tub of gravy.
Speaker 2: What did they suck it up? Was one of those
Speaker 2: like we'll deliver the rest later. So I'm like this,
Speaker 2: you fucked this up. You forgot my order. I'm beside
Speaker 2: myself because I'm like, oh, I want my now. You
Speaker 2: know when you're so sick, I'm like all I wanted
Speaker 2: is my order, Like and I paid so much for
Speaker 2: this order, and I'm really hungry and I'm really sick.
Speaker 2: And I wrote a thing that was like you've forgotten
Speaker 2: my order. Blah blah blah blah. Anyway, long story short,
Speaker 2: I went back in to check my order and all
Speaker 2: I had ordered was a tub of gravy. So all
Speaker 2: I got. Fucking all I ordered was a tub of gravy.
Speaker 2: That's it. That was my order. No wonder it took
Speaker 2: two minutes. They're like, this freak just wanted a table gravy. Sure,
Speaker 2: So that's why I was living. Hang on a second,
Speaker 2: with the delivery fee and the service fee. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: take twenty eight dollars for my What I had done
Speaker 2: is because I was so sick. I'd gone in and
Speaker 2: I was just looking at the food pictures, but I
Speaker 2: was shopped shopped. I didn't add anything to the card.
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, that's a good sizzel, and then
Speaker 2: I just clicked out of it and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm good chips. I didn't add anything. The only thing
Speaker 2: I was like, was like, added the leader tubber gravy.
Speaker 2: So that was my BI. I don't feel as bad
Speaker 2: about not getting you hot chips anymore because get fierce. Anyway,
Speaker 2: that's my story of the week. Did you have the
Speaker 2: gravy on anything that did you just drank it from
Speaker 2: the I ordered the meal I did, and the same
Speaker 2: driver came. It was the same man, and I was like,
Speaker 2: don't ask me. Also, just drop it at the doors.
Speaker 2: When you just see me right now, I look like
Speaker 2: golumn coming out of Okay, depends how The gravy wasn't enough,
Speaker 2: so I did order the stizel. I have a friend
Speaker 2: that drinks gravy by itself. That doesn't surprise me. Gravy
Speaker 2: is delicious. It is good, Yeah, but I don't even
Speaker 2: know what it is. What's a lot of stock and flower?
Speaker 2: I also don't know what stock is, like it's salty,
Speaker 2: no ground up chicken? Do we know what? Any I
Speaker 2: don't know. I know this is very off track, but
Speaker 2: I just I constantly fire myself in these moments where
Speaker 2: I'm like, nearly thirty, don't know what a very common
Speaker 2: ingredient is. Yeah, I don't know. Let's mythbust that next week?
Speaker 2: What else? What have you got to bring to the table?
Speaker 2: Should I a Kasha? I want to ask you about
Speaker 2: a Facebook group that I don't even know how I
Speaker 2: became a part of this Facebook group because I think
Speaker 2: someone I know, actually I know exactly who I know.
Speaker 2: It was one of my neighbors from when I was
Speaker 2: this is like my childhood home. One of my next
Speaker 2: one neighbors somehow added me to this Facebook group and
Speaker 2: then I became a part of the group. And I
Speaker 2: don't actually remember hitting ad but anyway, I'm a part
Speaker 2: of this Facebook group now and I don't know how
Speaker 2: I feel about it morally, And you're gonna tell us
Speaker 2: what the group is. There's like there's two sides of
Speaker 2: this coin, and I really don't know where I land.
Speaker 2: So the Facebook group is called SIS. Is this your man?
Speaker 2: Like sis? Sis? Yeah, like this is your man sisterhoods? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Help out? Yeah, sisters help me out? Yeah. Okay, So
Speaker 2: basically the premise of the Facebook group, I'm assuming that
Speaker 2: there's quite a lot of these, and they're based off
Speaker 2: of like the low location, because I think this one
Speaker 2: is I'm from Newcastle originally, and so I think this
Speaker 2: one's like Newcastle and the Hunter because all of the
Speaker 2: posts in there are from people like around that area.
Speaker 2: And I could be a bit late to the party
Speaker 2: on this, but I think the idea is that people
Speaker 2: who are online dating like bumble, Tinder, Hinge, whatever, all
Speaker 2: these other apps, they might start talking to someone and
Speaker 2: before going on a date with them, or maybe they've
Speaker 2: been dating them for a little while, they'll screenshot the
Speaker 2: profile or put up a picture of these guys and
Speaker 2: they'll be like, hey, I want a reference check on
Speaker 2: this person. Oh okay, And so like the communal FBI,
Speaker 2: it's like a car crash. I can't look away. I
Speaker 2: can't look away because I'm like, you are late to
Speaker 2: the party on this, I will say, am I Yeah.
Speaker 1: I vaguely remember Laura and I talking about this maybe
Speaker 1: last year. There was something that came up in the
Speaker 1: Bondai area about it a local kind of reference I've
Speaker 1: never been a part of these groups. I'm assuming it's
Speaker 1: the same kind of a group where it's like people
Speaker 1: putting their photos.
Speaker 2: Up and they're oh, it might be similar. This group
Speaker 2: wasn't asking for reference checks, but it was a group
Speaker 2: where you'd put a photo up if someone had scorned you.
Speaker 1: So you're like, yeah, it was like, PSI this guy cheated,
Speaker 1: he's a dick.
Speaker 2: He treated me badly, just so you know. And they
Speaker 2: just brought post Facebook group inder I killed because I've
Speaker 2: got a couple like of that. Well that's the idea.
Speaker 1: And they were putting up these public service announcements of
Speaker 1: guys that have done them wrong kind of thing. And
Speaker 1: I mean I think you could put women up there
Speaker 1: as well, but the group was predominantly women posting, So
Speaker 1: this sounds very similar, except as people asking for the reference.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and this is why I don't know where a
Speaker 2: land on it, because obviously there is the problematic side
Speaker 2: of that of people could say very bad and possibly
Speaker 2: defamatory things about people. I've seen both sides. I've seen
Speaker 2: photos be posted and people be like, I've known that
Speaker 2: guy for ten years. He's a really great bloke. He
Speaker 2: you know, had an next partner. They've got two kids,
Speaker 2: but they're on good terms and like he's a good dad.
Speaker 2: So I've seen the positive side of it, and I've
Speaker 2: seen the other side of it, where it's like I
Speaker 2: dated this guy for three months and I found out
Speaker 2: he was also dating six other people. He was a
Speaker 2: really bad person. I started to see these red flags
Speaker 2: of coercive control or like pretty full on things, and
Speaker 2: so in a way, I'm like, Okay, well that person's
Speaker 2: just saved their time. I've seen a lot of people
Speaker 2: be like, wow, I'm so glad I posted this because
Speaker 2: there is no way that I'm replying to this person now,
Speaker 2: but they don't know whether it's a bit. See, I
Speaker 2: don't like him, Murky. I don't like it. And the
Speaker 2: reason I don't like it is I understand that, like
Speaker 2: you do want this sort of sisterhood of helping people out.
Speaker 2: And of course, there are plenty of shitty people in
Speaker 2: the world, but there are plenty of good people in
Speaker 2: the world. And there are still plenty of shitty people
Speaker 2: in the world that were shitty, but I'm not shitty anymore.
Speaker 2: And what I mean by that is, like, there are
Speaker 2: plenty of people And Laura has said it before. She's
Speaker 2: openly admitted that she has cheated in her very young
Speaker 2: early days, you know, Like I'm talking like teenagers in
Speaker 2: early twenties. But there are lots of people that have
Speaker 2: done the wrong thing in a relationship when they're younger.
Speaker 2: They're not that person anymore. And I do think at
Speaker 2: that point a leopard can change its spots. And I
Speaker 2: just worry that it's a place where people don't get
Speaker 2: a chance to change and be something different. And I
Speaker 2: don't know. I'm very optimistic and I love, you know,
Speaker 2: I love to give people the benefit of doubt and
Speaker 2: twenty five thousand chances, Like, I'm really bad for that,
Speaker 2: but I just don't like the idea of there being
Speaker 2: a public space where people can go and post someone's
Speaker 2: photo and talk shit about them. At the end of
Speaker 2: the day, I think it's a form of bullying. But
Speaker 2: I think if someone fucked up once in relationship, if
Speaker 2: they ghosted you online, I don't think someone ghosting you
Speaker 2: and dropping off the face of the planet is reason
Speaker 2: to go and post them in a Facebook group so
Speaker 2: that a bunch of people can hate on them. See,
Speaker 2: I don't know, you're running this ring, aren't you.
Speaker 1: It's just like, I forget how I got added to
Speaker 1: the Facebook group, but it might be when I add
Speaker 1: made it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm not, but I don't know. I don't
Speaker 2: know whether for Like what I kind of put as
Speaker 2: a question in my own mind is what happens if
Speaker 2: someone that I've done who was a bad person or
Speaker 2: in my mind, a bad person, and treated me badly?
Speaker 2: What happens if a photo of one of them went
Speaker 2: up there? Would I comment on it? Because I probably would.
Speaker 2: There's been time somebody posted your ex so one of
Speaker 2: Case's execheated on it if someone posted your ex in there, Yeah, right,
Speaker 2: I would. I would comment and I'd be like, Hey,
Speaker 2: I just want to save you the drama and the
Speaker 2: trauma that I went through with this person. I hope
Speaker 2: he's changed, but what if he has changed. That's up point.
Speaker 2: Whether she wants to take the information that I've given
Speaker 2: she is asked for it. It's different to just like
Speaker 2: message that the message you directly you joined a group
Speaker 2: trawling hoping that your ex gets posted in there so
Speaker 2: that you can comment. No, I'm not saying you, but
Speaker 2: I'm saying in that situation that I happened, I think
Speaker 2: I would. I think there's like a little bit of
Speaker 2: camaraderie there. I think there's a little bit of like,
Speaker 2: I want to have your back because I don't want
Speaker 2: you to go through what I went through. But I
Speaker 2: do see that this is what I mean. I really
Speaker 2: am treading the line whether I'm for these or I'm not,
Speaker 2: because I think that they can be very problematic, But
Speaker 2: I also think that there's something to like, you know,
Speaker 2: maybe these guys will stop acting like dickheads if they
Speaker 2: keep on getting called out publicly. Nah, I don't know,
Speaker 2: you're gonna remember that once something's on the internet's on
Speaker 2: there forever, Like it's literally on there forever. And I
Speaker 2: think that, imagine if someone did that to you, no
Speaker 2: one could do that to me because I haven't treated
Speaker 2: someone badly.
Speaker 1: It does, That's the whole thing. It doesn't matter. You
Speaker 1: can say and make up any story you want. And
Speaker 1: that's what I was just about to say, is like
Speaker 1: it creates this space for revenge.
Speaker 2: So just say there was a breakup that I just say,
Speaker 2: a guy break up with a girl. Normally, she didn't
Speaker 2: see it coming. They were in love. She thought she
Speaker 2: was gonna marry him, but he decided didn't want to
Speaker 2: be with us, didn't want a relationship, wants to be
Speaker 2: on his own and find himself. But three weeks later,
Speaker 2: he's met someone that he actually likes and he's dating.
Speaker 2: And you're like, you lied to me, You told me,
Speaker 2: you know that you didn't want a relationship, but now
Speaker 2: you do.
Speaker 1: But you know, she can easily go on post him
Speaker 1: and be like, this guy was cheating on me obviously
Speaker 1: for three months, this guy was a dickhead.
Speaker 2: This guy left me. Hang. You can say whatever you want.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be true, and it can ruin
Speaker 2: someone's life sounds like an Olivia Rodriguez song.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't ask to be true and ruin your love, money,
Speaker 1: driving a fast car.
Speaker 2: Obviously we're going to have to pull it. I mean,
Speaker 2: I know that we end up turning to the poles
Speaker 2: a lot, but it's it's because we can't really agree here.
Speaker 2: I know what you're about to fucking say. You're about
Speaker 2: to say something about your photos. I put my hand up.
Speaker 2: I put my hand up because can I miss can
Speaker 2: I talk? Speaking of poles, we did a poll on
Speaker 2: if you can put a photo of yourself and your
Speaker 2: partner up in your house and guess what bitches you
Speaker 2: can guess who's in the right met However, I can
Speaker 2: do a follow up pole because we've got a lot
Speaker 2: of messages from people saying does this include wedding pictures? Also?
Speaker 2: Does it include a collage where there's like many photos
Speaker 2: of other things as well? And I would just like
Speaker 2: to point out that yours is neither of those things.
Speaker 2: Yours A three. Are you just trying to rub in
Speaker 2: that I'm not getting married? I know that I know
Speaker 2: I'm not. Man, I'm just trying to point out that
Speaker 2: it was an odd choice. Okay, so here we go.
Speaker 2: My three photos that I have.
Speaker 1: If you guys haven't listened to last week's episode, I've
Speaker 1: put three photos of Ben and myself, my beautiful boyfriend
Speaker 1: who doesn't live here, he lives in another country.
Speaker 2: I'm in love. We got a semi professional photo shoot
Speaker 2: done at the Louver, so sue me. We didn't book it.
Speaker 2: It was on the spot and the photos are beautiful.
Speaker 1: I had a blank wall, so I got three photos
Speaker 1: from our professional semi photoshoot from the Love that we
Speaker 1: didn't book, and I.
Speaker 2: Put them on my wall. That's what's all My throw
Speaker 2: three three white a four frames next to each other,
Speaker 2: one one one that's cract the same photos, so like, yeah,
Speaker 2: the same shoot, semi professional photoshoot that we didn't book
Speaker 2: from the loop. And I would also like to point
Speaker 2: out that the other friend who commented more than I
Speaker 2: did on this, I kind of more agreed with her.
Speaker 2: Kim is a stylist. Sorry, she was my stylist. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she's recently no style. She knows what looks good and
Speaker 2: she just merely pointed out it was an odd choice.
Speaker 2: I think we need a photo of the wall so
Speaker 2: that people can actually decide whether this is a go
Speaker 2: or not, because she doesn't really matter anyway, It is
Speaker 2: not odd. You just wait, missus newly in love? You've
Speaker 2: been in love a week? You wait. You are putting
Speaker 2: a photo up on a consent. You are doing a
Speaker 2: collage wall. So are you trying to say, because so,
Speaker 2: I've got these three photos right? Nothing else on the wall?
Speaker 2: Very defensive? Are your extremely Are you trying to say
Speaker 2: you and the audience? Are you trying to say that
Speaker 2: if I had a few different photos surrounding it, it
Speaker 2: would be okay? Yeah, whack some photos of Delilah up there.
Speaker 2: I would personally Delilah. I had some photos a sherry,
Speaker 2: mix it up a little. Why does that change the fact? Why?
Speaker 2: It just makes it a little less weird? And I
Speaker 2: don't know why I don't I'm weird. I don't know
Speaker 2: the psychology behind it. Okay, it's feeling within my body,
Speaker 2: deep internalized trauma. Here, I'm thinking, in secure. Why don't
Speaker 2: you have photos of me on your wall? I see
Speaker 2: you more than anyone in my entire life. Exactly. That's
Speaker 2: why I think I would make the wall. I don't
Speaker 2: need you plaster on my wall because I see you
Speaker 2: every day. If I'm not seeing you, I'm speaking to you.
Speaker 1: If I'm not speaking, we're dming simultaneously at the same
Speaker 1: time as we're dexting.
Speaker 2: Ben. I see like a couple of times a year,
Speaker 2: and he is my love. Look, I have a key
Speaker 2: to your house. I think I'm just print some photos
Speaker 2: of myself and your friends and put them on the wall,
Speaker 2: just to eaven it out wall. Okay, Well, the poles
Speaker 2: said that it was okay. More people had said that
Speaker 2: it's fine. But I mean, if you want to update
Speaker 2: the pole, Kisha and do sub poles until you've got
Speaker 2: the result you want, which is that it's creepy you
Speaker 2: do that like selective bias or something like that. I'm
Speaker 2: going until I get the results. I want confirmation bias.
Speaker 2: I actually got a few dms personally, and they were
Speaker 2: all positive. They're all like stuff everyone else. Brittany, you
Speaker 2: do you you put a bigger picture up of your
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, Queenn, that's fun because I know
Speaker 2: they're really messaging me this because you also have photos
Speaker 2: of you and your partner on your wall. It does
Speaker 2: look a semi shriny, but it's candles and flowers underneath
Speaker 2: you know what Ben's coming. Guys. He's coming in only
Speaker 2: two weeks now. I'm very excited. But I will see
Speaker 2: what he thinks when he gets here, and if he
Speaker 2: thinks it's weird, I'll like a couple of photos. There's
Speaker 2: something I need to tell you about this. And this
Speaker 2: is a very internalized tangent, so I apologize. But it's
Speaker 2: quite funny. The boy that I've started dating admitted to
Speaker 2: me last week because we're talking about doing group things, right,
Speaker 2: we're all gonna hang out, correct, he is really into
Speaker 2: the European soccer or football? Is he crushing on Ben?
Speaker 2: He turned to me and he's like, hey, I have
Speaker 2: to tell you something a bit weird. I didn't know
Speaker 2: who brit was before I knew you, but I did
Speaker 2: know who Ben was. Oh, Ben's gonna love that, and
Speaker 2: I have a little fan by dinner. Oh that's cute.
Speaker 2: That's true. At least I'm gonna have something to talk
Speaker 2: about totally. Thats mean to be a good vibe.
Speaker 1: It means Ben's not gonna talk to anyone else if
Speaker 1: he's some and they'll talk about soccer with hing.
Speaker 2: Okay, they can go off on their own anyway. I
Speaker 2: think it's time we get into our vibe and unsubscribed.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've got my vibe this week. My vibe
Speaker 2: I think is very suited to this time of year.
Speaker 1: And it is something that it took me a long
Speaker 1: time to get on board with, but once I did
Speaker 1: and I was absolutely sold. It's not overly esthetically pleasing,
Speaker 1: but it's practical.
Speaker 2: What I am talking about is an udie.
Speaker 1: Don't get me started or not sponsored, but if they're listening,
Speaker 1: would love a new one. And what he is like
Speaker 1: if you don't know what it is, it's that big,
Speaker 1: giant blanket, but it's a blanket that is.
Speaker 2: Made into like a hood and a coat. I think
Speaker 2: that's where it comes from. Hoodie became UDI. But it's
Speaker 2: got no arms and stuff. It does have arms, and
Speaker 2: it also has a pocket. It's like, okay, what it
Speaker 2: is is I'm trying to think of the name for it.
Speaker 2: What is it called? Because poncho that's the word.
Speaker 1: It's like a poncho, exactly like a poncho, except it
Speaker 1: is a It's full of the thickest, most beautiful wool.
Speaker 1: And I have a really cold house. I don't have heating.
Speaker 1: If you guys remember last year. I talked about it
Speaker 1: a lot, but I have to wear like every coat.
Speaker 1: I've got a thermals to walk around at night.
Speaker 2: It's something weird about your apartments because mine's exactly the same.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I swear to God, it's like five two ten
Speaker 2: degrees colder inside my apartment that it is outside. Oh,
Speaker 2: reverse insulation. I always think the days are horrible.
Speaker 1: I'm like, got so cold outside today, and then when
Speaker 1: I finally emerge from my den, I'm like, it's actually
Speaker 1: a beautiful sunny day, but my house retains the cold
Speaker 1: instead of retaining heat. Anyway, an it is like a
Speaker 1: beautiful cloud on your body. It's incredible. It doesn't look great.
Speaker 1: You're never going to go out in it, but it's amazing.
Speaker 1: It's a blanket that stuck to you at all times.
Speaker 1: So that's I've recently gotten mine out of the cupboard.
Speaker 1: That's why, because it's my house has taken a turn.
Speaker 2: It is freezing. The reason I'm laughing is because I
Speaker 2: feel like I had to get you to come around
Speaker 2: to the udi. You initially told me that I look
Speaker 2: stupid and that I should never wear it around anyone
Speaker 2: that I want to have sex with. I was like, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, that is such a ridiculous thing because
Speaker 2: I thought it didn't look comfortable because it's quite big,
Speaker 2: this blanket that's stuck on your body, it's quite big,
Speaker 2: and I thought it didn't look comfy and I couldn't
Speaker 2: work it out. And when I finally was cold enough
Speaker 2: to put it on one day, it never came off.
Speaker 2: I've been wearing an aughty for twelve months straight. I
Speaker 2: completely agree with this vibe. My vibe for the week
Speaker 2: is a product. Okay, Now, there are multiple things that
Speaker 2: I love about this product. If you caught a glimpse
Speaker 2: of our Instagram stories the other day, as the colder
Speaker 2: weather has hit Sydney, my skin is getting really dry.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I caught you saying, not a life story. I
Speaker 1: was trying to do a story about the podcast episode
Speaker 1: and Keisha's in the background.
Speaker 2: Going, oh, my skit is sudrap. But I had no
Speaker 2: idea that you were filming. I was just talking normally. Anyway.
Speaker 2: This product, it's a lita. It's called the bioderma At,
Speaker 2: a derm ultralourishing cleansing shower oil. Okay, now though that
Speaker 2: ten times, I'm going to put a link in the
Speaker 2: show notes so that you don't have to search that.
Speaker 2: There are so many things that I love about this product.
Speaker 2: Number One, I mistook this when I first bought it
Speaker 2: six months ago, and I thought it was a facial cleanser.
Speaker 2: So I have been using it as a facial cleanser
Speaker 2: for six months, and I can tell you right now
Speaker 2: you can use this as a facial cleans It gets
Speaker 2: your makeup off so well because it's oil based, right,
Speaker 2: which is where the dry skin thing comes into it.
Speaker 2: As it gets colder. It's really good to like wash
Speaker 2: yourself with oil products because it doesn't strip your body
Speaker 2: of oils in the same way that like soaps and
Speaker 2: that kind of thing do. Another thing, you can use
Speaker 2: it in your private intimate areas because exactly like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I've been using it in there because I have I
Speaker 2: have a bit of a sensitive one and I do
Speaker 2: find that sometimes when the pH of soaps is too alkaline,
Speaker 2: I can get thrush. Like that's why the whole that
Speaker 2: you're starting to whisper as you say that, like the people, Well,
Speaker 2: it's because it like strips your body of the natural things. Right.
Speaker 2: This one for me hasn't been a problem. It's been
Speaker 2: great it's only forty four dollars for the litera. That's
Speaker 2: a bargain. And the additional thing that I love about
Speaker 2: it is that you know, when you use antiperspirant deodorants,
Speaker 2: do you get that deodorant up under your under arms?
Speaker 2: Even if you use soap and stuff. I tend to
Speaker 2: find that there's still this like film. I think it's
Speaker 2: an anti persperant deodorant thing. Well, I found that the
Speaker 2: oil cleanser is really really good for getting that off.
Speaker 2: So I am absolutely bloody vibing this product. And I
Speaker 2: will put a link in the show notes because now
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I've just purchased another one, so now I
Speaker 2: don't mind if they sell out. I don't mind if
Speaker 2: they sell out because I'm stocked up for like another
Speaker 2: six months. So it's the Bioderma many many words alter
Speaker 2: nourishing cleansing showers, and it's an oil. It's an oil shaller.
Speaker 2: The peg and the brand is Biover. All right, let's
Speaker 2: get into the questions.
Speaker 1: Question number one, Hey ladies, short one, do you think
Speaker 1: the guy should make a booking at a restaurant if
Speaker 1: he asked you out? I had a first date on
Speaker 1: Friday night and the restaurant was packed. There was a
Speaker 1: one hour wait because my date didn't think ahead to
Speaker 1: book when he'd picked the restaurant and asked me out.
Speaker 1: I got the really bad that as we had to
Speaker 1: walk around for like an hour and a half to
Speaker 1: find an empty restaurant so we could eat.
Speaker 2: I love this question. We have never had a question
Speaker 2: like this, and it's so it's so simple. But I
Speaker 2: understand why she's turned off. I do, but I think
Speaker 2: the ink is an extreme response, reserved for probably things
Speaker 2: of more extreme. I don't know. If it was cold
Speaker 2: and raining, i'd be pretty off it too. But I
Speaker 2: do think this is mostly a personality based one, because
Speaker 2: it's something you and I have in common is that
Speaker 2: we're not particularly good at planning things. We're more off
Speaker 2: the cuff, spontaneous. Oh yeah, don't give him plan anything ever. No,
Speaker 2: And I'm actually just thinking about the first date that
Speaker 2: I went on most recently with the person I've started seeing,
Speaker 2: and he really wanted to book ahead of time, and
Speaker 2: I was to say it. I was like, let's just
Speaker 2: see what we feel like. I don't want to lock
Speaker 2: in any plans because we could get to it and
Speaker 2: The thing that I have a problem with booking things
Speaker 2: so far in advance is that you don't know a
Speaker 2: week your head what cuisine you're gonna crave, and so
Speaker 2: I feel locked into a decision. If you're booking somewhere,
Speaker 2: maybe it's best for you to be going to like
Speaker 2: an or you can ear buffet so you can pick
Speaker 2: your cuisine of the night just down at the RSL Grace.
Speaker 2: Sort of Yeah, but I think it depends where you live, right.
Speaker 1: If you live in a place where you know you
Speaker 1: can walk around and there's many many restaurants that are
Speaker 1: going to be available for you to walk into.
Speaker 2: It's different. As an example, if I was going on
Speaker 2: a date around Sydney, you sort of have to book
Speaker 2: because things book out. You're not really in a place
Speaker 2: to be like, let's just try our luck. You might
Speaker 2: get lucky, but you also might not.
Speaker 1: You might walk around if it's peak hour in summer,
Speaker 1: you might walk around for a long time trying to
Speaker 1: find a restaurant. I do think for a first date,
Speaker 1: even if you're not a planner, I'm not a planner,
Speaker 1: I want to see what cuisine I feel like in
Speaker 1: ten minutes. I don't like to book a restaurant. I
Speaker 1: tried to book dinner last night ten minutes before it Toddies,
Speaker 1: and I was like, damn what they booked out ten
Speaker 1: minutes in evance? I tried to book. But I think
Speaker 1: for a first date you probably do need to make
Speaker 1: a bit of an effort and lock something in the
Speaker 1: ink is a bit extreme. I'd give this guy a
Speaker 1: second crack if you enjoyed the night, give him second
Speaker 1: crack for sure, but tell him be like, Okay, if
Speaker 1: we do this again, I'm not walking around for another hour.
Speaker 2: Let's lock something in. I think it's as simple as that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I tend to agree. I do think that talking directly,
Speaker 2: I do think maybe you've been a little bit harsh
Speaker 2: on them, to be fair. However, if you're like a
Speaker 2: type a person who likes things organized and you like
Speaker 2: things structured, then either you are going to communicate this
Speaker 2: with him, or maybe he's just not your person, because
Speaker 2: like maybe you need to align on those kinds of things.
Speaker 2: You know, I don't think we're calling him not the
Speaker 2: person because he just didn't book the first day. You know,
Speaker 2: there is a part that's like cool, you can book
Speaker 2: it if you won't, But there's it's the first day
Speaker 2: in he house you at. You want to feel like
Speaker 2: he's taking control and he's taking somewhere special and he's
Speaker 2: putting in the effort. I just tell him, I'll just say, hey,
Speaker 2: we're gonna do that again. You need to lock that
Speaker 2: shit in because like, these heels ain't made for walking. Okay,
Speaker 2: So yes or no? Do you think they should make
Speaker 2: a booking at a restaurant if they ask you? Yes, Okay, Kisha,
Speaker 2: you want to fight me on it? I don't want
Speaker 2: to fight or because I can see that most people
Speaker 2: would be like, yeah, that's reasonable and normal. So I
Speaker 2: will say, okay, perhaps they should have booked, but also
Speaker 2: try and be understanding if some people are not really
Speaker 2: that way inclined. Yeah, it's not a reason to dump
Speaker 2: the guy. Like, if that's the worst thing he's done,
Speaker 2: he's be spontaneous with his food. You do it, okay.
Speaker 2: Question number two? Do I have a right to be
Speaker 2: upset if my best friend forgets my birthday? Some context?
Speaker 2: I've been extremely close friends with them for over a
Speaker 2: decade since high school. I always know their birthday by heart,
Speaker 2: but without Facebook reminders of me making note of it
Speaker 2: on my social media, my birthday will pass without any
Speaker 2: thought on their part. I just recently seven ties with
Speaker 2: one best friend, and this was one of the small
Speaker 2: reasons behind that decision. It feels hurtful and I feel forgettable,
Speaker 2: if that makes any sense. But I would like to
Speaker 2: know your thoughts on the matter. Should best friends know
Speaker 2: each other's birthdays without being reminded by social media? Oh?
Speaker 1: This makes me sad that I hope it's not the
Speaker 1: main reason you seven ties with your friend. I just
Speaker 1: recently seven times with one of my best friends. This
Speaker 1: was one of the small reasons behind that. That makes
Speaker 1: me sad because I don't think a friendship is defined
Speaker 1: by somebody remembering your birthday. You know I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: that because I'll pull my hand up and say I
Speaker 1: forget everyone's birthdays. There's a small group of people's birthdays
Speaker 1: that I remember, which are my family, Kisha's because Keisha's
Speaker 1: birthday is my birthday. We have the same birthday, which
Speaker 1: is the twenty first of August, and you know the
Speaker 1: person that I'm dating. I think in terms of a
Speaker 1: friend group, I always remember around when it is I
Speaker 1: remember the month, or if it's at the end of
Speaker 1: that month, but I often don't remember until I'm reminded.
Speaker 2: And maybe I'm reminded because they're saying, Hey, it's my
Speaker 2: birthday dinner next week. Maybe it's a Facebook post. But
Speaker 2: I don't think that makes you a bad friend. I
Speaker 2: would still be able to say I know I'm a
Speaker 2: really good friend for that person because I'm I see
Speaker 2: them all the time. I turn up for them, they
Speaker 2: turn up for me. We love each other. I don't
Speaker 2: think remembering a date means anything now, that's just me.
Speaker 2: I understand why it might make you upset, especially because
Speaker 2: you know that you go above and beyond for your friends,
Speaker 2: and we always have as humans, we have this expectation
Speaker 2: of like receiving what we give, which sometimes isn't the case.
Speaker 2: I'm hoping, and I'm assuming your friends do give back
Speaker 2: to you and fill your cupping other ways.
Speaker 1: If the whole thing is that their shit friend and
Speaker 1: they forget your birthday but they're just a dickhead as well.
Speaker 2: That's different. But if they're showing up for you in
Speaker 2: other ways and they just don't remember a date of
Speaker 2: the year, I think that's okay. I think that you
Speaker 2: probably shouldn't have seven times with your friend in that situation.
Speaker 2: But that's me and birthdays don't mean a lot to me,
Speaker 2: so it's very personal. I have two things to say
Speaker 2: about this one. When I have done this in the past,
Speaker 2: it's actually not the fact that I've forgotten my friend's birthday.
Speaker 2: It's the fact that I'm not aware of what the
Speaker 2: date actually is. And I've actually done this to my mum,
Speaker 2: but her birthdays at the start of January, and you
Speaker 2: know that time period over Christmas where you have no
Speaker 2: idea what day it is, you have no idea what
Speaker 2: date it is. I have literally forgotten her birthday before,
Speaker 2: and I felt so bad about it. But that is
Speaker 2: what happens more often for me with my friend's birthday.
Speaker 2: If someone was to say, like randomly, what's blah blah
Speaker 2: blah's birthday, and it was, you know, six months away,
Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh, they're birthdays on this day. But
Speaker 2: when it actually comes to it, sometimes I get the
Speaker 2: Facebook notification thing being like it's these people's birthdays and
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh shit, like I need to order some
Speaker 2: flowers for them, or I need to order something to
Speaker 2: be like here, you have a donut or a cupcake
Speaker 2: delivered to your work because you want to my closest people.
Speaker 2: I love you so much, but I just didn't know
Speaker 2: what the date of that actual day was. I have
Speaker 2: forgotten my own birthday before. If I forgot your birthday
Speaker 2: means nothing. I have woken up before and been like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, it's my birthday, like I didn't even know. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's because someone said, are you doing anything for your birthday?
Speaker 2: And I was like, well, when's my birthday? Well, I
Speaker 2: think that's the other part of this. It depends on
Speaker 2: whether the friend who's forgetting your birthday is what I
Speaker 2: would call a birthday person. So you know, we've all
Speaker 2: got them in our lives. It's the people that have
Speaker 2: birthday month and they do things. They do a dinner,
Speaker 2: and they'll do a going out, and they'll do a
Speaker 2: cruise and they'll do all these things to celebrate their
Speaker 2: birthday because they are a birthday person and they love
Speaker 2: celeb braiding it and they were just born, like you've
Speaker 2: just been born. I mean, that's how we feel. You
Speaker 2: didn't win an award, but everything not everyone feels that way.
Speaker 2: And so I'm trying to not put those people down because,
Speaker 2: like you know what, sometimes you need people like that
Speaker 2: with the big energy in your life to get you
Speaker 2: to go out and do different things. Yeah, And I
Speaker 2: mean we live a busy life, and I under same way.
Speaker 2: I mean humans, we live busy lives as adults, and
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's nice to find
Speaker 2: a reason and an excuse to go and celebrate. So
Speaker 2: I think that's what people do. It's like my birthday month,
Speaker 2: fucking party month. Yeah, run and drop your workbooks totally.
Speaker 2: So I actually think that this is a bit more
Speaker 2: like it depends on whether the person that you're upset
Speaker 2: about forgetting your birthday is a birthday person. So obviously
Speaker 2: you're the type of person who would really put a
Speaker 2: lot of time and thought and effort into celebrating them.
Speaker 2: So the question is like, do they show up for
Speaker 2: you in other aspects of your life? Is this actually
Speaker 2: that you're just feeling unappreciated by them in general? Are
Speaker 2: you feeling as though you're never really in their thoughts?
Speaker 2: Are you feeling as though they don't really check in
Speaker 2: with you on how you're going in your life? And
Speaker 2: this is it's just kind of like the cherry on
Speaker 2: top that they also don't seem to give a shit
Speaker 2: when you have your birthday come around.
Speaker 1: Also, this is going to sound harsh, and I don't
Speaker 1: mean it to be harsh, but if your friends, if
Speaker 1: you are just say it's me right, I don't have kids.
Speaker 1: I'm essentially single, you know, I live here on my own,
Speaker 1: so I've got more time on my hands. If your
Speaker 1: friends are a Laura who have multiple jobs and they
Speaker 1: have kids and they have a husband, and they've got
Speaker 1: a business and they're doing a TV.
Speaker 2: Show like if whoever, you're very relatable. But no. But
Speaker 2: if your friend is really busy and they have a
Speaker 2: family and stuff, no offense, but your birthday is not
Speaker 2: a priority. The priority is feeding the kids that night,
Speaker 2: putting them to bed, getting them sorted for the next week. Like,
Speaker 2: people's priorities turn and they're different and you remember different things,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, trying to remember another friend's birthday.
Speaker 2: It's just not on the top of the list. It
Speaker 2: doesn't mean you mean any less to them. It just
Speaker 2: means their brain is taking up more space on other
Speaker 2: things at the moment. Yeah, but in that situation, I
Speaker 2: actually think that it's the friends like that that should
Speaker 2: probably be celebrated more because I think that you know true. Additionally,
Speaker 2: we celebrate things like getting engaged, getting married, having kids.
Speaker 2: Like if you're single and both of us are in
Speaker 2: this situation, I feel like I'm always celebrating other things
Speaker 2: with other people and getting them gifts, and you know,
Speaker 2: all of the hoopla around it, and I don't really
Speaker 2: have much that society tends to celebrate about me. So
Speaker 2: I do understand if you're falling into that category. If
Speaker 2: you're like, this is the one thing that I expect
Speaker 2: you to care about because I've supported all of these
Speaker 2: other things that you have had in your life totally,
Speaker 2: But can you understand why. I'm sure they still want
Speaker 2: to celebrate it, but you can understand why they might
Speaker 2: have just forgotten it. Is my point. It doesn't mean
Speaker 2: you mean less to them, but you're upset that they're
Speaker 2: not remembering, Like this listener's upset that they're not You
Speaker 2: literally have said, they don't remember my birthday off by heart.
Speaker 2: They need a prompt.
Speaker 1: I think ninety percent of the population don't remember their
Speaker 1: friends and families birthdays off by heart. I think I
Speaker 1: could ask my dad what us four kids birthdays are
Speaker 1: and he wouldn't remember.
Speaker 2: He loves us fiercely you were at the past word child,
Speaker 2: were you none of his work. I don't know what
Speaker 2: what his password is. It's probably a dog.
Speaker 1: But like I know, my dad always he was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I know your August. He knows all the month, but
Speaker 1: like he loves us more than anything.
Speaker 2: It's not a reflection of that. So I know it's
Speaker 2: really tough to hear, but I think that maybe go
Speaker 2: a little bit easier on your friends, and maybe it's
Speaker 2: not the worst thing for you to prompt them, Hey,
Speaker 2: you're going to be free in a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2: It's my birthday. Give them a couple of week reminder.
Speaker 2: I would appreciate that. When my friends do that, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: thank god they let me know that. I actually think
Speaker 2: that this says to me that you're probably feeling a
Speaker 2: little bit underappreciated in most aspects of this friendship. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think so. I think there's probably there must be
Speaker 2: more to this, especially if you've said you know, I've
Speaker 2: said it up. But there are a few reasons there
Speaker 2: must be more, and I hope there is if it
Speaker 2: is just that, but just know that I'm sure it
Speaker 2: is absolutely nothing personal. I'm going to put a poll up,
Speaker 2: as we always do on a Thursday, we put our
Speaker 2: poles to ask guncut questions up because I reckon this
Speaker 2: one could be interesting. I feel as though often, Britt,
Speaker 2: you and I feel very similarly about things like this
Speaker 2: because neither of us are kind of birthday people. Maybe
Speaker 2: that's a trait of people born on our day because
Speaker 2: you do have the same birthday. Also, the odds of
Speaker 2: that very rare. Like we're on like a three person
Speaker 2: team and two of us have the one birthday. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and we will find out kind of what the general
Speaker 2: consensus is, because I feel as though most people may
Speaker 2: care a little bit more than what you or I
Speaker 2: really Yeah, yeah, because I have that's interesting to me.
Speaker 2: There's not one percent of me that would care if
Speaker 2: my friend for my birthday. I have friends in my
Speaker 2: life that are very much birthday people, and I think
Speaker 2: that they would be pretty offended if I didn't contact
Speaker 2: them on the day. Luckily for me, they tend to
Speaker 2: share like a thousand Instagram stories of people think like
Speaker 2: how do you that day, queen, And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: text give them a call exactly. You get a reminder, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I get the reminder. I'm the person who needs the reminder?
Speaker 2: All right, question number three, Hi, ladies, I need your help.
Speaker 2: A bit of background. You've come to the wrong place. Sorry,
Speaker 2: you've come absolutely to the right place. A bit of background.
Speaker 2: My partner and I have been together for almost five
Speaker 2: years and we are so in love. I am one
Speaker 2: hundred percent sure he is a person and I want
Speaker 2: to spend forever with He is my penguin. She didn't
Speaker 2: write that. I added that in. But I know he's
Speaker 2: about to propose because he told me I have a
Speaker 2: good indication.
Speaker 1: Dude, he's supposed to keep out a secret. Whenever he
Speaker 1: brings it up, he says, I've planned the perfect moment.
Speaker 1: But just warning, you don't have high expectations for the ring.
Speaker 2: Now. Don't get me wrong. I think about our wedding
Speaker 2: all the time and I cannot wait to get married.
Speaker 2: But I just don't want him to propose unless he
Speaker 2: can get my dream ring. Keep in mind, he knows
Speaker 2: exactly the ring I want. Admittedly, the ring is about
Speaker 2: ten thousand dollars, which I understand is a lot of money,
Speaker 2: but he also has a pretty decent job and about
Speaker 2: one hundred thousand dollars sitting in savings. But he's not
Speaker 2: willing to.
Speaker 1: Spend anywhere near ten thousand dollars because he quote doesn't
Speaker 1: think it's about the ring. Now, I'm not a gold
Speaker 1: digger or anything like that, but to me, it's such
Speaker 1: a special and important.
Speaker 2: Symbol of our union. It's something I want to keep forever.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I feel horrible seeing this, but i'd that
Speaker 1: he never proposed than proposed without the ring I love.
Speaker 2: Oh. So I have two questions. One, am I Shelly
Speaker 2: for caring about the ring this much? Because I feel
Speaker 2: crazy too? What do I do about this one? Yes
Speaker 2: you are, Yes you are. Oh look, I don't think
Speaker 2: you're that crazy for having your heart set on something
Speaker 2: that you really want, given that you do have the
Speaker 2: means to obtain it. Okay, So I think the monetary
Speaker 2: thing is what is a little bit maybe catching us
Speaker 2: up because it does seem superficial to care about the
Speaker 2: price of something. But I have recently learned about engagement
Speaker 2: rings not because of my own? Is it because of mine?
Speaker 2: Is a secret squirrel? Because of mine? Twenty to know
Speaker 2: something to get my nails out there. I'm learning about
Speaker 2: the difference in things like lab grown versus I don't
Speaker 2: know what the actual term is. But in the wild
Speaker 2: diamonds yeah, like naturally mine versus lab grown. So I'm
Speaker 2: pro lab grown. Yes, me too. As it turns out,
Speaker 2: it's a lot more environmentally friendly and it avoids a
Speaker 2: lot of trade that is unethical. Lab grown diamonds have
Speaker 2: identical I want to say, like genetic makeup. That is
Speaker 2: not the actual term, but the makeup of it is identical, identical,
Speaker 2: but it's ethical. Yeah. However, they don't have as good
Speaker 2: resale value. I did find out hopefully you don't resell
Speaker 2: your wing ring guys. That is a good point. So
Speaker 2: I think the monetary value is the thing that maybe
Speaker 2: is making this situation a little bit on the nose,
Speaker 2: you know. Is it the style of ring that you want,
Speaker 2: Is it the quality of the diamond involved, Is it
Speaker 2: the size of the diamond? I think it's kind of
Speaker 2: one of these things where it's like, it's okay to
Speaker 2: really want what you want, particularly for something that you're
Speaker 2: planning on wearing for the rest of your life. But
Speaker 2: if he's not willing to spend that much on it,
Speaker 2: I think maybe you're gonna have to end up saying, hey,
Speaker 2: this is actually what I want. So you tell me
Speaker 2: how much you're willing to put into it, and I'll
Speaker 2: actually put in the rest because this is exactly what
Speaker 2: I want. I know, our own engagement ring. I know
Speaker 2: it's not as in romantic, but like, this is what
Speaker 2: you want, and he's kind have made it clear that
Speaker 2: he's not willing to spend that much. I mean, I
Speaker 2: also don't know whether he's just a bit tight around
Speaker 2: the purse in other ways. But I don't think you're
Speaker 2: crazy for caring about it. I think that maybe if
Speaker 2: you would rather him never propose, maybe you're gonna have
Speaker 2: to think about ways to get the ring that you
Speaker 2: really really want them. Oh, okay, there's a few things
Speaker 2: for this, a few layers. Let's start unpeeling this ungin. Yes,
Speaker 2: it's okay to want the ring you want ten thousand dollars. Absolutely,
Speaker 2: that is fine.
Speaker 1: I understand that you have your heart set on this ring. Now,
Speaker 1: One thing Keisha said is that you could look at
Speaker 1: Have you actually looked at alternatives of having a ring
Speaker 1: that looks identical but doesn't cost the same price. What
Speaker 1: we mean by that is is lab growing diamonds, is
Speaker 1: sourcing it elsewhere?
Speaker 2: I say elsewhere because I'm pretty sure. You can get
Speaker 2: a lot of bargains in places like Dubai. A lot
Speaker 2: of things are cheaper there. Yeah, look into that. Don't
Speaker 2: quite me. Like Bai not known for being a cheap places.
Speaker 2: A lot of people go and get their diamonds from
Speaker 2: Dubai and then they get the ring made. That makes
Speaker 2: me question why they're cheaper, and I feel like I
Speaker 2: don't want to the fact that there is one hundred
Speaker 2: thousand dollars in his savings makes you probably question it
Speaker 2: more so. When you first said, like, he won't buy
Speaker 2: my dreaming, I don't want to marry him, I was like,
Speaker 2: that's not right. I don't like that. But then when
Speaker 2: you say he does have the money, it does make
Speaker 2: you wonder, Okay, well, why isn't he willing to spend it?
Speaker 2: Why isn't he willing to spend it? I ask him
Speaker 2: that is it because.
Speaker 1: He's really saving for a house for you guys? Is
Speaker 1: he putting the money to something better for the both
Speaker 1: of you. It's very different story if you, guys, have
Speaker 1: been saving for a long time for a deposit and
Speaker 1: he really wants to put it towards that, or if
Speaker 1: he's going out partying every week and dropping money on drinking,
Speaker 1: frivolous going away. If he's spending money on that but
Speaker 1: says that you're not important enough to put it for
Speaker 1: the ring, then that's also different.
Speaker 2: But some people can be very practical people and they
Speaker 2: can see that a piece of jewelry, it's not a
Speaker 2: thing that they're wanting to spend a lot of money
Speaker 2: on it. I mean, we see this all the time,
Speaker 2: particularly in hetero relationships, where guys will be like, what
Speaker 2: do you mean you want to buy a designer bag.
Speaker 2: It's a handbag. You can get a handbag for two
Speaker 2: hundred dollar. This one's five grand.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's because something means more to you than them,
Speaker 1: and you'd have different priorities. You have said you'd rather
Speaker 1: not get married, you'd rather him not propose unless it's
Speaker 1: with your dream ring. So you've literally said your love
Speaker 1: and the union tying and not is dependent on the ring.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that is it though? Or is
Speaker 1: it dependent on the fact he hasn't listened to her?
Speaker 2: Well? No, she literally just said don't want my dream
Speaker 2: ring or I don't want to get married. But what
Speaker 2: I mean by that is like, is it because simply
Speaker 2: of the ring. Or is it the fact that he
Speaker 2: is not willing to recognize that this is something very
Speaker 2: important to her and therefore he should care about it
Speaker 2: simply because she cares about it. Is it like a
Speaker 2: deeper meaning, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Well, I mean maybe, but she I mean at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, she said, I feel horrible saying this.
Speaker 1: I'd rather he never propose than propose without a ring.
Speaker 1: I love, I get the ring.
Speaker 2: I love part. You want to love what's on your hand.
Speaker 2: Like I would be shattered if I got given a ring,
Speaker 2: an engagement ring, and I didn't like it esthetically, Like
Speaker 2: if I didn't like it and I thought, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I got to wear that forever. But I ring that
Speaker 2: Sam and Snay's on the batch that the cheese will
Speaker 2: ring to it. But I would still say yes because
Speaker 2: I love them, And then I would sort it out after.
Speaker 2: That's the part for me, melt it down and you
Speaker 2: get it restructed. Absolutely, you would pour that off and
Speaker 2: get something else. No, but I think that that's the
Speaker 2: main thing. At the end of the day. I know
Speaker 2: it's upsetting that you're not going to get your dream ring,
Speaker 2: But is there not another ring? That you absolutely love
Speaker 2: as much, but maybe cost less. Is there a way
Speaker 2: that you can meet halfway? Maybe reconsider that you would
Speaker 2: rather not get married at all if it's not the ring,
Speaker 2: because if he's your person and your penguin, you'll definitely
Speaker 2: work that out. Of course, wa Keisha said absolutely. If
Speaker 2: you want to add some money to your own ring,
Speaker 2: go for it. Maybe you can propose, and you've said
Speaker 2: you want to get married, Maybe you can, you know,
Speaker 2: settle on a ring, now propose, and then work it
Speaker 2: out later. Maybe in six months or a year you
Speaker 2: can upgrade it to something that you love more.
Speaker 1: There are options. But I wouldn't not marry the poor
Speaker 1: guy because you don't have your absolute, very specific, ten
Speaker 1: thousand dollars dreamering.
Speaker 2: And that's just me, I guess at the end of
Speaker 2: the day. And maybe that's because I've been single and
Speaker 2: lonely and desperate for so long that I propose me,
Speaker 2: I'd fucking jump out it. I'd be like, yeah, I
Speaker 2: dag it is that a burger ring us. I will
Speaker 2: take the onion ring. I am alagic onions, but I
Speaker 2: will take it. And these are not tears of happiness.
Speaker 2: They're tears because my ring is they're normal though, Like
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess I feel a little bit out
Speaker 2: of the loop on this. Is it normal for people
Speaker 2: to contribute financially to their own engagement ring? I actually
Speaker 2: have no idea. I reckon there'd be people that would have.
Speaker 1: I'd reckon they be people that have saved as a
Speaker 1: couple for a long time for it. Because the thing is,
Speaker 1: there's also no normal price for a ring anymore. I
Speaker 1: couldn't even tell you if ten thousand dollars was expensive
Speaker 1: or not for a ring. I have friends that have
Speaker 1: had two thousand dollars on their engagement ring, five, ten, twenty.
Speaker 2: I know people have got those is it mos? Andite?
Speaker 2: Am I saying that, yeah, wasn't it? Because they're just
Speaker 2: like I don't really care about diamonds and this was
Speaker 2: literally a couple hundred bucks. Totally, it's a personal preference thing.
Speaker 2: But I actually think the more I've thought about this,
Speaker 2: as we've been speaking about it, I actually think that
Speaker 2: your deep underlying problem here is the fact that you've
Speaker 2: said something's really important to you and your partner, the
Speaker 2: person that you love the most in the world, is
Speaker 2: not really I don't know, I for respect that desire
Speaker 2: of yours is the phrase I'd want to use, but
Speaker 2: it's along those lines. It's one of the fact that
Speaker 2: he's being a little bit dismissive of something that's really
Speaker 2: important to you. Well, I feel like in a way,
Speaker 2: you're thinking that he's saying, I don't think you're worth it.
Speaker 2: At the end of the day. It's like you're saying,
Speaker 2: I love this ring. It's ten grand though, and he's like,
Speaker 2: no way. There's a part of that that's like, oh,
Speaker 2: you don't think I'm worth that. You don't think our
Speaker 2: love's worth that. I totally understand that. I understand the
Speaker 2: reasoning why you're upset about it, for sure, and you're
Speaker 2: allowed to be upset about it. I just don't think
Speaker 2: it's worth not marrying the guy is my thing. I
Speaker 2: think there's always a way you can work around it,
Speaker 2: for sure. I would really love a follow up of
Speaker 2: this one, and we haven't done an askun cut aftermath
Speaker 2: for ages.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would love to hear this as well. And
Speaker 1: I do really hope you get married, because there's really
Speaker 1: rare all love.
Speaker 2: It is exactly that. It is rare, as rare as
Speaker 2: a diamond. It is rare as it might cost diamond
Speaker 2: from Divio.
Speaker 1: Also, in case Ben listens to this, whilst I said
Speaker 1: I don't care, whilst I said I don't care, like
Speaker 1: obviously would still love something nice and pictures of what
Speaker 1: you like.
Speaker 2: I'm joking not you don't want. Coming off the back
Speaker 2: of that, I would actually love for you and Laura
Speaker 2: to do an asked Cut aftermath. So we haven't done
Speaker 2: one for Cosh. It must have been at least six months.
Speaker 2: The way that works is that if we've ever answered,
Speaker 2: and I say we've if Laura and Britt I've never
Speaker 2: answered one of your ask gun Cut questions, we often
Speaker 2: want to know what happens after you know their opinions
Speaker 2: or their advice is being given. We always want to know.
Speaker 2: I totally sleep over some of these. Yeah, send it
Speaker 2: in to our dms on Instagram, but just put a
Speaker 2: little summary of what your actual initial question was, and
Speaker 2: that goes the same. If you have a question you'd
Speaker 2: like the girls to unpack for Askuncut, just send it
Speaker 2: into our Instagram messages at Life on Cut Podcasts. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we love the detail, We love how it went down.
Speaker 2: If we maybe you took our advice, maybe you didn't,
Speaker 2: Maybe you took our advice and it blew up. Don't
Speaker 2: send us one. You ruined my life. Please send them
Speaker 2: anywhere with the heading ask and cut aftermath, and we
Speaker 2: will do an episode soon. And on that note, that
Speaker 2: is us gone. I think Keisha, you might be feeling
Speaker 2: on next week's episode two. And then I think Laura's
Speaker 2: back in action. Yeah, we're not really sure of Laura's
Speaker 2: schedule at the we we haven't seen her in a while.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure it's been a year. What's that a Titanic,
Speaker 2: it's been eighty four years. I think I need to
Speaker 2: do it. She's wellness check sends onto her house. No,
Speaker 2: she's been dancing Upper Storm and I'm excited for you
Speaker 2: guys to see her move soon. I think it's gonna
Speaker 2: be airing soon. So you're gonna have to all get
Speaker 2: behind her because she's definitely gonna need it and want it.
Speaker 2: You can follow our Facebook discussion group where a lot
Speaker 2: of the juicy stuff goes down. There's a link in
Speaker 2: the show notes, and we're also on TikTok. We're getting better.
Speaker 2: We're getting better at TikTok. We're on the TikTok.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So go and follow us, don't forget, tell your
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