WEBVTT - Circumcised at 6 and the Pooping Houdini

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, we had a few comments about your swearing in

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<v Speaker 1>the last episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Did you see that I haven't seen that? Is it

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<v Speaker 2>our ageous?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? It's huge, like canashtop swearing?

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<v Speaker 2>Seriously, what buck off?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just joking. Welcome back to Two Dads. I am

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<v Speaker 1>Mattie Jay and I'm as. This is a podcast that

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<v Speaker 1>is all about parenting, the good, the bad, and relatable.

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<v Speaker 1>And look, if there are any new listeners right now

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<v Speaker 1>have just tuned in. Maybe they've seen our faces on

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<v Speaker 1>the artwork of the podcast and thought, hey, they look

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<v Speaker 1>like they could offer some advice. I think if you

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<v Speaker 1>come here for advice, it'd be like someone entering a

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<v Speaker 1>chili eating contests.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually, that's a lie. Someone took my advice the other day.

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<v Speaker 2>They even sent me a message to say I forgot

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<v Speaker 2>to tell you.

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<v Speaker 1>Actually, now, look at the smile on your face.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm an expert. Which part don't talk in the middle

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<v Speaker 2>of the night. Did you see that I have been

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<v Speaker 2>a message?

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<v Speaker 1>I think I saw a message from.

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<v Speaker 2>A ready my dam.

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<v Speaker 1>From a mum.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, she was like genius, didn't even think about it.

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<v Speaker 2>So like, why do you need to talk in the

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<v Speaker 2>middle of night? You don't need to talk. If she goes,

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<v Speaker 2>can you get me some water?

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<v Speaker 1>Just do it? Just there is the odd look. You know.

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<v Speaker 1>Obviously we like to talk ourselves down too much. Because

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<v Speaker 1>there are a lot of other podcasts out there that.

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<v Speaker 2>Do offer gen we don't focus on it.

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<v Speaker 1>No, if there is advice, it's purely accidental.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely, that was an accident. That was me kind of

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<v Speaker 2>being like that what worked for me could work for you.

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<v Speaker 2>But I also I just don't want to see people

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<v Speaker 2>getting in an argument in the middle of the night, especially

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<v Speaker 2>if they are your neighbors, thinking your neighbors.

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<v Speaker 1>If there's one thing that we can do, Ash, I

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<v Speaker 1>hope we can do, it's just bring couples together and

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<v Speaker 1>try and minimize any arguments that they have around the kids.

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<v Speaker 2>And build some normality before we start.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, it would be remiss of us not to crack

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Absolutely, what have we got today?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, this is something different.

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<v Speaker 2>I've had this before, you've had I had a couple

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<v Speaker 2>last night, Ash at all.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh Yeah, cheers your ginger beer people.

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<v Speaker 2>Of the equipment, because that's expensive.

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<v Speaker 1>Better be a ginger beer, Ash, fact, if I may,

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<v Speaker 1>this has half the sugar of other ginger beers out

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<v Speaker 1>there that are alcoholic.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, and like you know me, I'm a beer

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<v Speaker 2>guy all the all the day long. I couldn't get

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<v Speaker 2>that out. I'm a big guy through and through. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't drink any spirits rarely unless I'm absolutely hammered.

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<v Speaker 1>What made you go for the ginger beer yesterday? Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>I thought, like, I haven't had a chance to try

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<v Speaker 2>it yet. We're going to talk about it today real quick,

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<v Speaker 2>and I thought, you know what, I'm gonna have six

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<v Speaker 2>of them. So I had a few of them last

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<v Speaker 2>year and I quite like them. They're definitely in the rotation.

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<v Speaker 1>Normally i'd have this on a summer afternoon. Winter still

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<v Speaker 1>quite nice.

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<v Speaker 2>Winter's got a gingery beer feel about it too.

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<v Speaker 1>It's kind of like I think if you're in the UK,

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<v Speaker 1>like mulled wine. Yeah, yeah, it is big and the

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<v Speaker 1>Australian equivalent ginger beer.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know what I did? It was late yester afternoon.

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<v Speaker 2>I had the kids. I locked them in the trampoline

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<v Speaker 2>out there as you do perfect ziparp, but I put

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<v Speaker 2>a padlock with man. Just went out there and just

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<v Speaker 2>watched them UFC wrestle out there and did.

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<v Speaker 1>They want to be in the trampoline or were you like,

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<v Speaker 1>get in there now, oscar.

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<v Speaker 2>Well it was pretty dark and cold by the time

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<v Speaker 2>I got.

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<v Speaker 1>Dad. Please anyway, twelve Ginger Beer being like you guys

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<v Speaker 1>having fun.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're good, So thank you again, Better Beer for

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<v Speaker 2>the Ginger Beer, lower Sugar get in India.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I ask just really quickly before we get into

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<v Speaker 1>the episode. We joked the other week about April's reaction

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<v Speaker 1>to Better Be here being a sponsor.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like, obviously she doesn't know yet. No, look it's fine. Yeah, Look,

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<v Speaker 2>it wasn't the first choice. But where that's right? Now

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<v Speaker 2>she's up, she's working.

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<v Speaker 1>So this is not easy working, Like this podcast business

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<v Speaker 1>is hard work.

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<v Speaker 2>It's tough. Choose again, half empty. I wanted to just

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<v Speaker 2>quickly touch on something really quickly. You know, I've had

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<v Speaker 2>a rough week so far already Wednesday. But it's been

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<v Speaker 2>a rough week, a rough trot. As some would say,

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<v Speaker 2>We can't.

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<v Speaker 1>Go into detail, can we? No, No, because they'll be listening.

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<v Speaker 2>Potentially they'll be listening and that would end really badly.

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<v Speaker 2>But same time, but something worse happened, something more embarrassing happened.

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<v Speaker 2>Yesterday I was down the shops, just picked up a

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<v Speaker 2>few things as you do. You know what we're picking

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<v Speaker 2>up just condon.

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<v Speaker 1>Want definitely not you just like groceries. Grocery.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just had to get you know, the usual

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<v Speaker 2>stuff like eggs, ship whatever, that sort of stuff. And

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<v Speaker 2>I've got a few things from Woolie's. I've got a

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<v Speaker 2>few things that weren't on the list. Okay, and you

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<v Speaker 2>know I love their brown paper bags. I just feel

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<v Speaker 2>like an elegant man walking out with the brown paper bag.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know something about it.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you mean?

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<v Speaker 2>They're just nice, They're just nice to carry. The nice

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<v Speaker 2>and square things fit in there nicely. I'm not rummaged

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<v Speaker 2>around with a plastic fucking suitcase.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah I can't. I kind of get what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 1>But at the same time, I prefer the plastic one,

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<v Speaker 1>like the hard plastic, because they're more robust, like if

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<v Speaker 1>you're carrying milk and stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't have any others, and I don't have any

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<v Speaker 2>linen bags.

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<v Speaker 1>Although no products that were like letting out no more.

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<v Speaker 2>I stupidly overfilled them. Okay, now we think you know

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<v Speaker 2>where this is going. Yes, I was walking out to

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<v Speaker 2>the car and it just so happened to be school

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<v Speaker 2>knockoff time as a school across the street. Yep, and

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<v Speaker 2>they're all hall and these teenagers and you know what

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<v Speaker 2>teenagers are like, they're fucked. They're absolute assholes.

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<v Speaker 1>Took the words right out of my mouth.

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<v Speaker 2>Both bags snap right in front of all these school kids,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was just like, it's such an ick.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like that scene from Home Alone where he's got

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<v Speaker 1>the brown paper bags and they just bottom out.

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<v Speaker 2>Will happen, and it's like such an ick. If you

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<v Speaker 2>see someone, it's like, there's two things that I think

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<v Speaker 2>that's similar. There's picking up your groceries off the off

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<v Speaker 2>the floor of the car park or ground of the

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<v Speaker 2>car park. Yeah, that's bottom feeder, that's bottom feed And

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<v Speaker 2>also chasing a plastic bag that's in the wind. Weird

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<v Speaker 2>little run after a plastic bag that's called the wind.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just always out of reach. Did you lose the eggs?

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<v Speaker 2>No, they were on top, so like safe landing, Thank heavens,

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<v Speaker 2>Thank heavens. But look I was red faced.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you get a reaction from the kids, Oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it was what are you staring at? I was just like,

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<v Speaker 1>get out of here, picking up your condoms.

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<v Speaker 2>It seems ash buy his home Brown. I wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>talk about Macy. Yes, so Lola's what two? Macy's coming

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<v Speaker 2>up to two? Lola's potty training as we worked out

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<v Speaker 2>last week, would you smite it all over the fucking wall.

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<v Speaker 2>Macy's almost almost too.

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<v Speaker 1>She's like six months out, how far.

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<v Speaker 2>Month in June? Five months five months out, say five

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<v Speaker 2>months out, So she's not potty training. She's still in

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<v Speaker 2>very much in nappies, diapers, whatever people's preferences on that.

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<v Speaker 2>And she's doing this thing now where she just disappears

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<v Speaker 2>and goes quiet. So it's safe to say a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of weeks ago, two weeks ago, it was just me

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<v Speaker 2>and Macy in the house. Anyway, I've got distracted and

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<v Speaker 2>I've lost Macey.

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<v Speaker 1>Hang on, wait, so you've lost her because we're in

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<v Speaker 1>your house right now and.

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<v Speaker 2>I've lost her.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not really.

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<v Speaker 2>I was distracted. I was doing something.

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<v Speaker 1>What are you doing? Drinking?

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<v Speaker 2>No? Go on, man, sorry no, I was probably scrolling

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<v Speaker 2>TikTok or taking a shit, and I was like, I

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<v Speaker 2>was just she was up there playing or whatever, and

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<v Speaker 2>then she's just gone quiet. I was like, I just

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<v Speaker 2>gone quiet. So I went try and find her. Went

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<v Speaker 2>into the bedroom, their bedroom, No one to be found.

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<v Speaker 2>Nowhere to be found. Back into my bedroom. Checked the

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<v Speaker 2>bathrooms as you do.

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<v Speaker 1>Am I losing my mind?

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<v Speaker 2>I thought, like, I'm fucking losing my mind. He checked

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<v Speaker 2>the balconies, even the doors shut. She's grown three foot

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<v Speaker 2>and reached the doors. I've come downstairs. Thought okay, she

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<v Speaker 2>must be in the kitchen because she loves the snack

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<v Speaker 2>cupboard is within reach for her. And I thought, gotta

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<v Speaker 2>be there, got to be down there somewhere.

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<v Speaker 1>But she's also not at the age where like it's

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<v Speaker 1>funny for kids when you're like where are you and

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<v Speaker 1>they hide because it's like hide and seek. Yeah, she's

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<v Speaker 1>not there yet.

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<v Speaker 2>Right now, she's like starting to know that it's Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>it's a game.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're like here, she won't come. She won't come.

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<v Speaker 2>No, But this was like she just went quiet. I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, fuck, Like where is she? I thought, because

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<v Speaker 2>she can get up and down the stairs backwards thankfully,

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<v Speaker 2>and I have downstairs. The doors are all shut. Going

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<v Speaker 2>to the garage and not in the garage, open the

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<v Speaker 2>front ship. At this point, I'm panicking.

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<v Speaker 1>At this time, right now, how long until April gets home.

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<v Speaker 2>A while.

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<v Speaker 1>See, Okay, so you're like, I'm panicking, but I would.

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<v Speaker 2>Have had enough time to go and steal another baby

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<v Speaker 2>and come back with it.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was like, doesn't make any sense.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, where's she gone anyway? So I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>check back upstairs one more time. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>walked upstairs, checked in their bedroom. Nothing. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>walk into our bedroom, and as I walked past our closet,

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<v Speaker 2>I just a waft was emitting. A waft went up

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<v Speaker 2>my nose. It happened to be shit.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, so she's gone, you say, shit, Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>She's gone. She's hidden in our cupboard. She's sitting on

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<v Speaker 2>top of the shoe rack. It's the three to two

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<v Speaker 2>or three story shoe rack, depending on how many levels

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<v Speaker 2>you account, and she was on top of that, sitting there, silent.

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<v Speaker 2>And what she's done. She's snuck off into our wardrobe

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<v Speaker 2>and taking a shit. And I would have never have

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<v Speaker 2>founder unless I walked past and smelt the waft of

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<v Speaker 2>baby shit straight up my nostrils. And since then, she's

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<v Speaker 2>continued to do it. So like the other day, we're

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<v Speaker 2>at a friend's house and she's gone again, completely gone.

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<v Speaker 2>She doesn't know this house anyway, like the balcony wrap around,

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<v Speaker 2>she's completely gone. And then i'd come around the corner,

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<v Speaker 2>she's out there like looking at me.

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<v Speaker 1>Like don't like, what are you doing?

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<v Speaker 2>So at the moment, it's kind of like a hide

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<v Speaker 2>and go poosy situation.

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<v Speaker 1>It's weird that they go through that phase of wanting

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<v Speaker 1>to have a bit of privacy, because they definitely come

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<v Speaker 1>out of it like now my kids will just shit.

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<v Speaker 2>And then Laura's done the complete one eighty or three

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<v Speaker 2>sixty where she's like she's like, I'm just shit rush.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's funny how they do that, don't you reckon?

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<v Speaker 1>Like I remember Marley would sit down and squat behind

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<v Speaker 1>the couch and just like just to have like a

0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:41.800
<v Speaker 1>little bit of privacy. And I'd look over and she'd

0:11:41.840 --> 0:11:43.719
<v Speaker 1>be like popping a vein from a forehead.

0:11:43.760 --> 0:11:46.280
<v Speaker 2>That look well, I told you about my friend that

0:11:46.360 --> 0:11:49.760
<v Speaker 2>had the poo runner, remember, oh yeah yeah, And when

0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.199
<v Speaker 2>he needs to pooh, he just takes off in like circles,

0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.400
<v Speaker 2>like running and running and running, and he would just

0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:57.520
<v Speaker 2>find a spot where no one's looking, like, I mean,

0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:00.120
<v Speaker 2>they don't know any better. But like also, like I

0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:03.280
<v Speaker 2>think Macy thinks it's some sort of game. Now if

0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:05.200
<v Speaker 2>I know, I can't hear her for a little bit

0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:08.080
<v Speaker 2>of time, am I smeller? Just getting a nappy out

0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:09.520
<v Speaker 2>and the whips and I'm prepping.

0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 1>It's a really annoying time as well when they start

0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:16.440
<v Speaker 1>going onto solids and their poos go from being like

0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:19.440
<v Speaker 1>a kind of like a purely breast milk or milk

0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:23.760
<v Speaker 1>based poo to then transitioning to like having solids form

0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:26.560
<v Speaker 1>that pool, and it's like the smellers I know.

0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:30.199
<v Speaker 2>And then also it was like can I check it? Why?

0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:30.679
<v Speaker 2>What for?

0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:31.920
<v Speaker 1>Well?

0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:35.160
<v Speaker 2>You should know this. Apparently you can say a lot

0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:36.760
<v Speaker 2>about the baby's health by their ship.

0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:39.600
<v Speaker 1>Obviously you don't want it to runny, but it comes.

0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:41.640
<v Speaker 2>It's just coming across a bit now, like if you

0:12:41.679 --> 0:12:44.840
<v Speaker 2>want to check every poo, like, what is it your thing? Now?

0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:52.800
<v Speaker 1>But surely I'm doing it for a medical reason. Are

0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:55.960
<v Speaker 1>you eating Macy's No?

0:12:55.960 --> 0:12:57.679
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no checking if she's

0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:04.240
<v Speaker 2>healthy taste? Yeah, look, so hide and go pooh seek

0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:05.120
<v Speaker 2>with Macy lately?

0:13:06.040 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 1>What's your trigger for when you guys will get to

0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:11.160
<v Speaker 1>add a nappies during the day to start potty training?

0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:11.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Look, is that an April question. I'll be on the spot.

0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:18.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, classic dad, do you know what? The

0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.360
<v Speaker 2>other day as well, I was at the doctors with

0:13:21.080 --> 0:13:23.160
<v Speaker 2>Macy because she needed a clearance to go back to

0:13:23.240 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 2>Kindy or something. Anyway, went to just like the medical

0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.960
<v Speaker 2>center down here really early, first in and the guy goes,

0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:31.560
<v Speaker 2>who does she usually see?

0:13:32.000 --> 0:13:33.120
<v Speaker 1>Is it like the regular doctor?

0:13:33.400 --> 0:13:35.040
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I have no idea. He was like,

0:13:35.080 --> 0:13:37.240
<v Speaker 2>is this your baby? I was like, yeah, let me

0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:40.640
<v Speaker 2>just go them up a classic dad has no idea?

0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:42.839
<v Speaker 1>Did you have the blue books? I always going there

0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:43.600
<v Speaker 1>like where's the blue book?

0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.640
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, I thought the blue book for when

0:13:46.679 --> 0:13:49.160
<v Speaker 2>you just when you just have them? I mean you

0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.480
<v Speaker 2>could you got offer me baby journal?

0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.720
<v Speaker 1>Well apparently like I don't know when you stop.

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.760
<v Speaker 2>Dad forgot and my GP's.

0:13:56.320 --> 0:14:00.480
<v Speaker 1>Name anyone who doesn't have kids. When you have a

0:14:00.480 --> 0:14:03.560
<v Speaker 1>baby there then and there isn't it. They're like, here's

0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:04.800
<v Speaker 1>your baby, and you get.

0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:08.520
<v Speaker 2>Baby comes out with it under a time, here's my

0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:09.040
<v Speaker 2>blue book.

0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:13.000
<v Speaker 1>Sigh. You get like a little gift pack you get.

0:14:12.800 --> 0:14:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Like from New South Wales Healthy in this instance.

0:14:15.200 --> 0:14:17.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you get a little tote bag and it has

0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:19.960
<v Speaker 1>goodies can't remember what's in there. I think I know,

0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:22.960
<v Speaker 1>I start, I stell a couple of blankets from the hospital.

0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:27.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh the stripy color there class, Yeah, we took one

0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:29.760
<v Speaker 2>for the dog so the dog could get used to

0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:31.360
<v Speaker 2>the smell before the baby came home.

0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:33.360
<v Speaker 1>Very good, very good. It didn't work, But within that,

0:14:33.400 --> 0:14:35.200
<v Speaker 1>it is a blue book and that's meant to be

0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.280
<v Speaker 1>you thing for like every it has like has it's

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:45.520
<v Speaker 1>like your car. Essentially also lose in my car as well.

0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:49.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, night man, I know, like I don't even know

0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:51.480
<v Speaker 2>where it is, but April will be able to whip

0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:56.080
<v Speaker 2>it out. Yeah, he keep it on me at all times.

0:14:56.080 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 2>This is my one too. Anyway, that's maze at the moment.

0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.040
<v Speaker 1>A question, what is your bedtime?

0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:06.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to rinse me about my bedtime on this

0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:09.520
<v Speaker 2>last night, I was in bed at seven point thirty.

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:12.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm essentially a toddler.

0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, can you just just like really really top line,

0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.000
<v Speaker 1>don't have to go to so much detail. What time

0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:20.640
<v Speaker 1>did the kids go to bed? What's your schedule? Like?

0:15:21.200 --> 0:15:23.760
<v Speaker 2>Well, makes is usually in bed by like seven?

0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:27.160
<v Speaker 1>Okay, so dinner at six? What time?

0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.600
<v Speaker 2>I feel like you call me out? I had dinner

0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:31.160
<v Speaker 2>last night.

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:31.920
<v Speaker 1>At five o'clock.

0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.840
<v Speaker 2>I get so much shit about this from my friends

0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 2>because they're like.

0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:38.720
<v Speaker 1>Dinner at five is not even dark yet?

0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:42.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, wait till summer. It's definitely not like it's midday

0:15:42.080 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 2>when we have dinner.

0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 1>So you have dinner with the kids or it.

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:51.880
<v Speaker 2>Varies depending on how hungry April is. Shit. But yeah,

0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:54.640
<v Speaker 2>so like for example, last night last night, I had

0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:57.920
<v Speaker 2>dinner at five quarter.

0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:01.080
<v Speaker 1>Past five wow. Wow.

0:16:01.400 --> 0:16:04.680
<v Speaker 2>Then bath macy the bed oscar to bed like bit

0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:08.360
<v Speaker 2>after seven last night and daddy's lights out.

0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:10.840
<v Speaker 1>Are you asleep by seventeen?

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.040
<v Speaker 2>No? No, no, no, I'm like sleep by like eight thirty.

0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:16.520
<v Speaker 2>If you message me after eight, you're not getting respect.

0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:20.960
<v Speaker 2>You've noticed, no totally. It says ash has do not disturb.

0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:25.560
<v Speaker 2>And it's like three in the afternoon, I'm having a nap, man,

0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:29.960
<v Speaker 2>I get a message from you are like twelve o'clocking like, yeah,

0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:32.360
<v Speaker 2>good luck, champ, but you know you've noticed that you.

0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I'll respond when I'm on the pier like okay, well

0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 2>I've got in for another few hours. Now let's have

0:16:38.400 --> 0:16:39.680
<v Speaker 2>a business meeting real quick.

0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.200
<v Speaker 1>And so how does it work then with the kids,

0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:47.240
<v Speaker 1>Like because obviously Macy's in a cot still yeah yeah, yeah, Oscar,

0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:48.000
<v Speaker 1>what's he sleeping.

0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:52.840
<v Speaker 2>He's in a single bed with a he's in a cage.

0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.200
<v Speaker 2>He's in a cage in the garage.

0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:57.880
<v Speaker 1>Is he able to leave his bed?

0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, yeah, and he does. He comes gets in.

0:17:00.440 --> 0:17:02.320
<v Speaker 1>With us on average, like every night.

0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.240
<v Speaker 2>It's an argument every time before we go to bed.

0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:08.120
<v Speaker 2>You say, you stay in your bed all night.

0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:10.119
<v Speaker 1>And he's there thinking shut up.

0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:13.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah. So instead of now bribing him with things

0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:15.960
<v Speaker 2>to staying there, I've decided to take things back to

0:17:16.000 --> 0:17:19.639
<v Speaker 2>the shop. So, like, he's got this bike, hot Wheels

0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.240
<v Speaker 2>bike who rides around the living room. I think it's

0:17:22.280 --> 0:17:26.399
<v Speaker 2>outside of the moment. And he loves it, obviously he

0:17:26.480 --> 0:17:28.919
<v Speaker 2>loves it. And the other night you're sleeping in your

0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:32.280
<v Speaker 2>bed all nights And he's like nope, that's stupid face.

0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:37.840
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, well you are, because otherwise I'm

0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:40.760
<v Speaker 2>taking that fucking Hot Wheels thing and I'm taking it

0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:42.760
<v Speaker 2>back to the shop. I didn't say fucking or maybe

0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:48.440
<v Speaker 2>I did. I really register it. I'm taking it back

0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:51.040
<v Speaker 2>to the shop and he's like no, And I was like,

0:17:51.040 --> 0:17:52.840
<v Speaker 2>we'll sleep in your bed. He's like no. I'm like

0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.800
<v Speaker 2>how are you not working this out? Work work it out?

0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:00.479
<v Speaker 2>So he did that night and he got keep it.

0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:01.920
<v Speaker 2>But then last nime.

0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:04.400
<v Speaker 1>Just putting the fear of God and yeah, you.

0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:06.480
<v Speaker 2>Know, but then he started doing this thing where he's like,

0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:11.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, man, how do you how do you go? No,

0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:13.880
<v Speaker 2>you didn't. It's like, tell me all about it. Because

0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:15.880
<v Speaker 2>someone says to me, watch your nightmare last night. I'm

0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:17.840
<v Speaker 2>just like, I did that thing where you're trying and

0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:23.640
<v Speaker 2>punch someone and you can't do it. Are you trying

0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:26.280
<v Speaker 2>to run after something and running backwards?

0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:28.600
<v Speaker 1>Marley had a nightmare and it was about the fact

0:18:28.640 --> 0:18:30.919
<v Speaker 1>that she wanted some warm water in a bottle and

0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:34.000
<v Speaker 1>the babysitter said no to her, and that was her nightmare.

0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:37.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Yeah, the life of a toddler. It'd

0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:40.440
<v Speaker 1>be sweet, wouldn't it. That's your biggest worry, that's your nightmare.

0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.720
<v Speaker 2>God, that'd be amazing. I'm having nightmares about having to

0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:49.080
<v Speaker 2>wake up and go to work. Real problems, real problems, Marley, real.

0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:52.199
<v Speaker 1>Problem when I comes into bed. Are you guys like

0:18:52.240 --> 0:18:52.920
<v Speaker 1>this is fine?

0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:57.000
<v Speaker 2>You try and look at that point, it's about sleep. Yeah,

0:18:57.200 --> 0:18:59.399
<v Speaker 2>the punts is annoying because he just does that little

0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.280
<v Speaker 2>half cry thing if you're not cuddling him, like.

0:19:03.000 --> 0:19:06.960
<v Speaker 1>They'll get ya and I get ya. Shut the I

0:19:07.000 --> 0:19:10.680
<v Speaker 1>remember speaking to other parents about bedtime routines, and here

0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:13.000
<v Speaker 1>it is, before I had kids, hearing a parent talk

0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:15.880
<v Speaker 1>about like co sleeping, having their child in bed with them,

0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:18.159
<v Speaker 1>and I remember thinking, what the fuck is wrong with

0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:20.160
<v Speaker 1>you letting your child sleep in your bed, Like that's

0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:23.280
<v Speaker 1>just gonna, I think, just make them really dependent. And

0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:27.040
<v Speaker 1>also it's just gonna then ruin you know, any intimacy

0:19:27.040 --> 0:19:28.640
<v Speaker 1>with you on your partner when your child keeps coming

0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:29.360
<v Speaker 1>in the middle of the night.

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:35.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Look, we go through phases where he can sleep

0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:36.320
<v Speaker 2>with us, and then we get him to go back.

0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:38.320
<v Speaker 2>He's pretty good at going back. Like he'll come in

0:19:38.359 --> 0:19:40.680
<v Speaker 2>at like three, four o'clock in the morning and there's

0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:42.720
<v Speaker 2>no action having at three or four o'clock in at

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:44.159
<v Speaker 2>that point. A lot of time you just sneaks and

0:19:44.160 --> 0:19:45.520
<v Speaker 2>you don't even know he's there, and I wake up

0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:47.159
<v Speaker 2>and as a child's foot in my face.

0:19:47.520 --> 0:19:51.040
<v Speaker 1>Right. Yeah, because yeah, Marley, nowadays, like I would say,

0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:52.320
<v Speaker 1>every single night.

0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.280
<v Speaker 2>If she's in there every night, Now, if.

0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:55.880
<v Speaker 1>I wake up in the morning and she's not there.

0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:58.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, this is weird. I don't even register now,

0:19:58.160 --> 0:20:01.560
<v Speaker 1>Like she just slots in where the beds positioned. She'll

0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:04.240
<v Speaker 1>come to me first because I'm like closest to the doorway,

0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:07.480
<v Speaker 1>and it's almost like just you know, in my sleep,

0:20:07.520 --> 0:20:09.760
<v Speaker 1>I just grab her and I put her in accept

0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:15.359
<v Speaker 1>Except last night wasn't a smooth operation. We had a

0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:17.560
<v Speaker 1>little incident in the bedroom.

0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:20.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you seem to be having instance in the bedroom

0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:20.600
<v Speaker 2>all the time.

0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:24.320
<v Speaker 1>And this one's not like animals, This is not this

0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:27.399
<v Speaker 1>is not sexually it's not sexulated. Unfortunately, I wish it was,

0:20:27.800 --> 0:20:36.520
<v Speaker 1>which it would be. Yeah with my wife's Okay, So

0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:39.760
<v Speaker 1>in the middle of the night Marley's obviously you know

0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:41.720
<v Speaker 1>she's working up at like one or two o'clock, which

0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:44.960
<v Speaker 1>is normally when she comes in. She's started walking towards

0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:45.560
<v Speaker 1>the bed.

0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:49.280
<v Speaker 2>And punch her out like she was an intruder.

0:20:53.119 --> 0:20:56.720
<v Speaker 1>Well, I don't recall doing this. This is just me.

0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:59.520
<v Speaker 1>This is me. I'm a protective kind of guy. You know,

0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:00.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm looking up.

0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:04.359
<v Speaker 2>Oh you look real alpha. I can't imagine in the

0:21:04.400 --> 0:21:07.159
<v Speaker 2>middle of the night. How yeah, I'll love to do

0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:11.160
<v Speaker 2>what your pajamas the classes with a flap at the back.

0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:13.440
<v Speaker 2>Real project you've got.

0:21:14.840 --> 0:21:18.880
<v Speaker 1>She's tried to like pull up the doubt and slot in,

0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:23.240
<v Speaker 1>and I've in my sleep, I've had my instincts have

0:21:23.359 --> 0:21:26.199
<v Speaker 1>kicked in, thinking someone's trying to like I don't know,

0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:28.439
<v Speaker 1>it's like a dog trying to attack us, and so

0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:33.439
<v Speaker 1>I've like grabbed her and like thrown her.

0:21:33.960 --> 0:21:34.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

0:21:35.800 --> 0:21:38.720
<v Speaker 1>And then I just I kind of like, I'm half asleep,

0:21:38.720 --> 0:21:39.520
<v Speaker 1>but I hear this like.

0:21:40.160 --> 0:21:45.280
<v Speaker 2>You threw your child across the room, pushed on You

0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:46.800
<v Speaker 2>just said you grabbed her and through it.

0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:48.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but you make it sound so much more just.

0:21:48.840 --> 0:21:53.919
<v Speaker 2>Gathering evidence just in case, just for the testimony.

0:21:55.520 --> 0:21:58.880
<v Speaker 1>And obviously Marley starts bawling her eyes out. She's wailing,

0:21:59.160 --> 0:22:01.840
<v Speaker 1>oh yeah. And I'm still going to half asleep. Takes

0:22:01.880 --> 0:22:04.439
<v Speaker 1>me a while to get the engine running, and Laura

0:22:04.480 --> 0:22:05.919
<v Speaker 1>is like, what the hell was that. I'm like, I

0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:08.400
<v Speaker 1>don't know, rabid dog's broken into the house and I've

0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:09.120
<v Speaker 1>just saved us.

0:22:10.760 --> 0:22:13.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh the floor she hit the floor.

0:22:14.080 --> 0:22:17.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I threw onto the carpet. I was protecting the family.

0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:19.880
<v Speaker 1>It's my instincts.

0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:21.199
<v Speaker 2>Social services up in you.

0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:25.160
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm sure it's not the.

0:22:25.119 --> 0:22:27.960
<v Speaker 2>First You're not the first parent to think any intruders

0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:28.359
<v Speaker 2>in your.

0:22:28.240 --> 0:22:30.359
<v Speaker 1>Bed, Like sometimes it's scary.

0:22:30.160 --> 0:22:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Especially where you live like you once. At the end

0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:36.880
<v Speaker 2>of the it's a bit sketchy. So I think it's

0:22:37.160 --> 0:22:42.160
<v Speaker 2>fair play. Play on. So she's okay. Obviously she.

0:22:43.760 --> 0:22:46.159
<v Speaker 1>Was fine. No, yeah, she's like desiccated shoulder. She's ok

0:22:46.359 --> 0:22:47.120
<v Speaker 1>No big deal.

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:48.560
<v Speaker 2>Hope just eight weeks out.

0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:51.120
<v Speaker 1>I was secretly hoping that it might deter her from

0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:52.480
<v Speaker 1>coming in the next night.

0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:57.560
<v Speaker 2>Did it well? Even half she ran in, She ran

0:22:57.600 --> 0:23:03.560
<v Speaker 2>in like a hit up, comes in with shoulder pads.

0:23:03.680 --> 0:23:07.240
<v Speaker 2>Karen Football starts up. That's how you get your kids

0:23:07.240 --> 0:23:08.400
<v Speaker 2>to not sleep with you anymore?

0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:10.840
<v Speaker 1>Yes, crash tackle them to the ground.

0:23:10.840 --> 0:23:13.239
<v Speaker 2>This podcast is full of advice. I fly kick them

0:23:13.240 --> 0:23:14.960
<v Speaker 2>to the head, straight to the head.

0:23:15.040 --> 0:23:25.800
<v Speaker 1>Problem solved, Cash, It is time to answer some questions

0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:29.440
<v Speaker 1>which have been submitted by lovely listeners. We always go

0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:32.760
<v Speaker 1>with two questions. I guess this part of the podcast

0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:38.840
<v Speaker 1>is where you may there may be a peppering of advice.

0:23:38.600 --> 0:23:40.840
<v Speaker 2>Except for what we just talked about previously, where you've

0:23:41.000 --> 0:23:42.160
<v Speaker 2>how to get your kids out of your bed.

0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:44.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so I think if anyone does come for advice,

0:23:44.680 --> 0:23:48.320
<v Speaker 1>normally you just skip through three quarters. Come here, you

0:23:48.359 --> 0:23:51.159
<v Speaker 1>may get something. It's like if you're looking for gold

0:23:51.200 --> 0:23:51.639
<v Speaker 1>and creek.

0:23:52.080 --> 0:23:53.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you like you.

0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:55.359
<v Speaker 1>Comes at the end, you may get a sprinkling of

0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:56.000
<v Speaker 1>gold dust.

0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:58.080
<v Speaker 2>Unlikely, it always the last place you look.

0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:01.920
<v Speaker 1>Definitely no nugget. Yeah, but this first question is an

0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:04.240
<v Speaker 1>interesting one. This one popped up and we both went, oh,

0:24:04.320 --> 0:24:06.280
<v Speaker 1>I won't say who it's from. Some people have said,

0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:07.960
<v Speaker 1>we really like it that you didn't put our name

0:24:07.960 --> 0:24:08.240
<v Speaker 1>in there.

0:24:08.359 --> 0:24:09.000
<v Speaker 2>Let's stick with that.

0:24:09.080 --> 0:24:11.440
<v Speaker 1>Let's run it will always make it anonymous, unless you

0:24:11.520 --> 0:24:12.880
<v Speaker 1>say I want to call out, then well.

0:24:12.720 --> 0:24:14.880
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to get them in trouble or like,

0:24:15.080 --> 0:24:15.639
<v Speaker 2>because we're.

0:24:15.480 --> 0:24:17.440
<v Speaker 1>All about keeping the peace between relationships.

0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:19.639
<v Speaker 2>Well, we started the episode with that, so I suppose

0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:21.119
<v Speaker 2>a bit of finish with that.

0:24:22.280 --> 0:24:24.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, we've got a question for you guys.

0:24:24.800 --> 0:24:27.399
<v Speaker 2>How did you go for you guys? For me? Is

0:24:27.440 --> 0:24:27.760
<v Speaker 2>it for me?

0:24:28.160 --> 0:24:28.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

0:24:28.440 --> 0:24:29.720
<v Speaker 2>No? This is or.

0:24:33.960 --> 0:24:37.200
<v Speaker 1>Question for us guys coming from it's coming from a

0:24:37.280 --> 0:24:40.160
<v Speaker 1>mum here. Okay, how did you go with sexy time

0:24:40.440 --> 0:24:42.840
<v Speaker 1>during pregnancy? Were you into it? Or were you a

0:24:42.840 --> 0:24:45.320
<v Speaker 1>little bit turned off? Slash freaked out? She kind of

0:24:45.359 --> 0:24:48.520
<v Speaker 1>gives some context here she's with her second partner, she's

0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:51.480
<v Speaker 1>pregnant with her third. She has two older boys with

0:24:51.640 --> 0:24:54.240
<v Speaker 1>someone else, and she said that she's experienced this with

0:24:54.320 --> 0:24:56.760
<v Speaker 1>both men now that they're just not into it. So

0:24:56.800 --> 0:24:59.359
<v Speaker 1>she says, is it not being attracted to me whilst

0:24:59.359 --> 0:25:02.879
<v Speaker 1>I'm pregnant or is it thinking they're poking the baby's head.

0:25:03.480 --> 0:25:05.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm interested to know how you guys were with this

0:25:06.240 --> 0:25:09.600
<v Speaker 1>and how your wives reacted. She wants at twenty four

0:25:09.600 --> 0:25:11.640
<v Speaker 1>to seven. Huh yeah, good on her.

0:25:11.960 --> 0:25:16.160
<v Speaker 2>That's not that's the dream, I think. Look, unless you're

0:25:17.240 --> 0:25:19.560
<v Speaker 2>hung like an absolute horse, you're not poking anyone in

0:25:19.600 --> 0:25:19.800
<v Speaker 2>the head.

0:25:19.920 --> 0:25:24.760
<v Speaker 1>Champ, Well that's Mike cue to say that as a

0:25:24.760 --> 0:25:28.120
<v Speaker 1>man with an enormous cock ash. It was a very

0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:30.480
<v Speaker 1>big concern for me. Oh okay, I thought that mine

0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:31.640
<v Speaker 1>is very long, very thin.

0:25:31.840 --> 0:25:36.359
<v Speaker 2>I've seen your budget smokers, mate, no grower, nothing to

0:25:36.359 --> 0:25:38.520
<v Speaker 2>worry about. Look, it's definitely different.

0:25:38.840 --> 0:25:40.640
<v Speaker 1>Did you have more sexy time?

0:25:40.720 --> 0:25:42.560
<v Speaker 2>I think it was like pretty standard, Like I don't

0:25:42.560 --> 0:25:45.800
<v Speaker 2>think a whole lot changed, but it's always also going

0:25:45.880 --> 0:25:48.200
<v Speaker 2>to be like in how far along.

0:25:48.400 --> 0:25:50.639
<v Speaker 1>I was kind of into it. I kind of liked it.

0:25:50.680 --> 0:25:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Well, obviously the vision is getting ready for childbirth. Yes,

0:25:54.640 --> 0:25:55.960
<v Speaker 2>so there is changes.

0:25:56.280 --> 0:26:01.920
<v Speaker 1>It's a bit more plump plump, which it's a good thing.

0:26:02.240 --> 0:26:05.560
<v Speaker 2>It's great, exactly right. Look it was, yeah, I would

0:26:05.600 --> 0:26:10.320
<v Speaker 2>say for the first six months were still happening, and

0:26:10.320 --> 0:26:11.879
<v Speaker 2>then I think as we got close to the end,

0:26:12.000 --> 0:26:13.600
<v Speaker 2>she was just more uncomfortable.

0:26:13.119 --> 0:26:15.840
<v Speaker 1>Right, totally totally and like you can't you know.

0:26:15.840 --> 0:26:18.639
<v Speaker 2>I can't, Maneve, Yeah, you know, I'd be like, Laura,

0:26:18.800 --> 0:26:20.919
<v Speaker 2>get up if you need a roller over. It's like

0:26:21.000 --> 0:26:22.040
<v Speaker 2>one two three.

0:26:24.600 --> 0:26:26.840
<v Speaker 1>I asked Laura, I know, I said, like were you

0:26:26.920 --> 0:26:27.640
<v Speaker 1>were you hornier?

0:26:27.720 --> 0:26:30.280
<v Speaker 2>And she was like, nah, I see, I was meant

0:26:30.280 --> 0:26:32.520
<v Speaker 2>to ask it this morning and I forgot, But I'm

0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:34.560
<v Speaker 2>going to say she wasn't. I'm going to say it,

0:26:34.600 --> 0:26:37.680
<v Speaker 2>like I said, it was pretty normal for most of it.

0:26:37.880 --> 0:26:41.560
<v Speaker 1>But I kind of I don't know, like I kind

0:26:41.560 --> 0:26:45.359
<v Speaker 1>of thought it was like being so I'm trying to

0:26:45.400 --> 0:26:50.960
<v Speaker 1>find my words here, Laura being so womanly. I found

0:26:51.000 --> 0:26:51.919
<v Speaker 1>that like a turn on.

0:26:52.320 --> 0:26:56.680
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what that means, the.

0:26:56.640 --> 0:26:59.679
<v Speaker 1>Fact that she was like mothering my credit. I don't know,

0:26:59.760 --> 0:27:03.560
<v Speaker 1>sound sounds weird when I try and verbalize it.

0:27:02.280 --> 0:27:05.640
<v Speaker 2>Yea, I just found it, like the whole the whole.

0:27:06.480 --> 0:27:08.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's sexy, like she's you know.

0:27:08.600 --> 0:27:10.760
<v Speaker 2>Carrying my childe.

0:27:10.840 --> 0:27:13.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, all of that put together.

0:27:13.600 --> 0:27:16.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you just don't know. Some people, it could be

0:27:16.359 --> 0:27:19.320
<v Speaker 2>their turn off, could be completely attractive to the look

0:27:19.400 --> 0:27:26.760
<v Speaker 2>of what they're actually mounting. Otherwise it could be much

0:27:26.800 --> 0:27:29.960
<v Speaker 2>more emotional, like yours sounds more emotional. So look, I

0:27:30.000 --> 0:27:33.520
<v Speaker 2>think we obviously can't answer this question because we're just

0:27:33.600 --> 0:27:38.639
<v Speaker 2>two people with no idea. Okay, So for me, like

0:27:38.760 --> 0:27:41.360
<v Speaker 2>I said, it wasn't a turn on and it wasn't

0:27:41.400 --> 0:27:41.879
<v Speaker 2>a turn off.

0:27:42.920 --> 0:27:46.480
<v Speaker 1>Did you though, towards the tail end of the pregnancy,

0:27:46.840 --> 0:27:49.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, this is when my baby's very close to

0:27:49.800 --> 0:27:53.320
<v Speaker 1>coming out. Did it ever enter your deliveries a quick,

0:27:53.400 --> 0:27:57.879
<v Speaker 1>quick five minutes? I would, You know, sometimes in the

0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.400
<v Speaker 1>middle of sex, I'd be like, holy shit, I'm about

0:28:00.400 --> 0:28:02.280
<v Speaker 1>to become a dad sun And obviously that's not a

0:28:02.320 --> 0:28:04.920
<v Speaker 1>thought that you want to have, as you're I didn't.

0:28:04.600 --> 0:28:05.840
<v Speaker 2>I didn't. I don't recall having that.

0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:07.320
<v Speaker 1>You didn't look at the belly and go that's going

0:28:07.400 --> 0:28:09.120
<v Speaker 1>to be my child, not even.

0:28:08.960 --> 0:28:13.000
<v Speaker 2>Once, yeah, but not like during it. Sometimes I train

0:28:13.040 --> 0:28:13.800
<v Speaker 2>on something else.

0:28:13.640 --> 0:28:15.840
<v Speaker 1>Man, So I would sometimes I'd be like, holy shit,

0:28:15.960 --> 0:28:17.399
<v Speaker 1>that's going to be my daughter a right, and then

0:28:17.440 --> 0:28:18.119
<v Speaker 1>I'd be like, oh.

0:28:17.960 --> 0:28:20.479
<v Speaker 2>God, no, I know what you mean. She was saying,

0:28:21.400 --> 0:28:23.280
<v Speaker 2>he's just not that both just not been into It's

0:28:23.280 --> 0:28:25.480
<v Speaker 2>probably just going to come down to the person. That's

0:28:25.680 --> 0:28:26.800
<v Speaker 2>my answer to that question.

0:28:27.040 --> 0:28:31.160
<v Speaker 1>Long story short, sometimes during sex you do think of

0:28:31.280 --> 0:28:33.760
<v Speaker 1>what is actually happening here, and there's a child in

0:28:33.800 --> 0:28:34.080
<v Speaker 1>the room.

0:28:34.160 --> 0:28:38.720
<v Speaker 2>The longer process. Yes, all right, Matthew. So our second

0:28:38.760 --> 0:28:41.960
<v Speaker 2>question today comes from one of our lovely listeners and

0:28:42.080 --> 0:28:45.520
<v Speaker 2>it comes that's weird. Oh my god, I get through it.

0:28:45.840 --> 0:28:49.920
<v Speaker 2>Just let me get okay. Question number two, Yes, yes,

0:28:50.120 --> 0:28:53.280
<v Speaker 2>having your child circumcised? Are you for or against?

0:28:54.240 --> 0:28:55.720
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm for it.

0:28:56.000 --> 0:28:59.000
<v Speaker 2>I think I mean, don't give you that look your form.

0:28:59.080 --> 0:29:01.920
<v Speaker 2>Mutilating a child's peenis that sounds about right?

0:29:01.960 --> 0:29:04.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's freak, it's cleaner, right. I heard the numbers

0:29:04.720 --> 0:29:07.000
<v Speaker 1>have dropped off. I feel like not as many people

0:29:07.040 --> 0:29:08.800
<v Speaker 1>are getting the snip for their kids.

0:29:09.040 --> 0:29:09.280
<v Speaker 2>Nah.

0:29:09.480 --> 0:29:12.080
<v Speaker 1>In the nineties, I was born in eighty seven. I

0:29:12.120 --> 0:29:14.160
<v Speaker 1>think the nineties it was like all the rage. It

0:29:14.240 --> 0:29:16.320
<v Speaker 1>was like fondu fondu un circumcision.

0:29:18.120 --> 0:29:20.880
<v Speaker 2>So my friend group is split up in between circumcised

0:29:20.880 --> 0:29:24.880
<v Speaker 2>and uncircumcised, and it's always a consistent battle.

0:29:25.000 --> 0:29:27.120
<v Speaker 1>What do you mean as in like people like the circumcised.

0:29:27.200 --> 0:29:28.680
<v Speaker 1>We all have a Sunday barbecue and the.

0:29:28.720 --> 0:29:31.760
<v Speaker 2>Unders making fun of the other one the party.

0:29:31.760 --> 0:29:33.160
<v Speaker 1>It's segregated personally.

0:29:33.240 --> 0:29:36.280
<v Speaker 2>I am uncircumcised and thankful because I need the length,

0:29:40.800 --> 0:29:44.200
<v Speaker 2>And Oscar is also uncircumcised because I know he's also

0:29:44.360 --> 0:29:45.280
<v Speaker 2>going to need the length.

0:29:45.320 --> 0:29:49.000
<v Speaker 1>Builthy animals, You are disgusting. I can smell parmes and

0:29:49.080 --> 0:29:49.680
<v Speaker 1>cheese from here.

0:29:49.680 --> 0:29:52.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, you're telling me that if you had a baby

0:29:52.200 --> 0:29:54.320
<v Speaker 2>boy right now, you would cut the end of its

0:29:54.320 --> 0:29:56.720
<v Speaker 2>dick off. What would you do? Wear it around your

0:29:56.760 --> 0:29:58.000
<v Speaker 2>neck like a trophy?

0:29:58.320 --> 0:29:59.000
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely?

0:29:59.560 --> 0:30:02.840
<v Speaker 2>Freak huh girl. Dads would be like that too.

0:30:03.080 --> 0:30:07.840
<v Speaker 1>This has now become anyone listening who's circumcised. I think

0:30:07.880 --> 0:30:11.000
<v Speaker 1>what you've done is an admirable thing. You are a

0:30:11.040 --> 0:30:12.760
<v Speaker 1>clean individual, great hygiene.

0:30:13.000 --> 0:30:15.480
<v Speaker 2>There is this like bit of war though, like women

0:30:15.560 --> 0:30:18.920
<v Speaker 2>have go do you prefer them circumcised? I think that's

0:30:19.000 --> 0:30:23.080
<v Speaker 2>just your just blankt and assumptions. Get April down there,

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:25.000
<v Speaker 2>flop me cock out.

0:30:26.480 --> 0:30:29.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay. I was circumcised, not for religious reasons.

0:30:30.080 --> 0:30:32.160
<v Speaker 2>But because it was too big.

0:30:34.280 --> 0:30:37.720
<v Speaker 1>I wish it was too big. I had too much foreskin.

0:30:37.560 --> 0:30:38.240
<v Speaker 2>Had a five skin.

0:30:38.440 --> 0:30:41.360
<v Speaker 1>I had half cock half skin.

0:30:41.760 --> 0:30:44.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh really fifty to fifty Yeah, I was fifty.

0:30:44.840 --> 0:30:49.120
<v Speaker 1>So what happened was I was six at the time. Whoa,

0:30:50.280 --> 0:30:52.560
<v Speaker 1>I was once one of you, and I thought.

0:30:52.400 --> 0:30:53.640
<v Speaker 2>It's yeah, so you're a trader.

0:30:53.920 --> 0:30:58.160
<v Speaker 1>So the age of six, I thought, well, this is

0:30:58.240 --> 0:31:01.320
<v Speaker 1>now it's you know, obviously this point, I'm now going

0:31:01.360 --> 0:31:03.560
<v Speaker 1>to grow up being uncircumcised. I was hanging out with

0:31:03.600 --> 0:31:07.680
<v Speaker 1>the uncircumcised kids. I'd form my allegiances, and then all

0:31:07.680 --> 0:31:12.280
<v Speaker 1>of a sudden, my mom, Yeah, she brought the boys

0:31:12.280 --> 0:31:16.360
<v Speaker 1>together because I'm one of five kids, three boys, four

0:31:16.360 --> 0:31:20.280
<v Speaker 1>boys in the family. So the issue was someone kept

0:31:20.320 --> 0:31:26.240
<v Speaker 1>pissing everywhere, all over the toilet floor, it was everywhere.

0:31:26.280 --> 0:31:28.560
<v Speaker 1>I don't think I knew. I think I just thought

0:31:28.560 --> 0:31:29.479
<v Speaker 1>that was how you pissed.

0:31:29.560 --> 0:31:33.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, well, like a like an elephant's trunk

0:31:33.560 --> 0:31:35.920
<v Speaker 2>when it's super excited living around.

0:31:36.800 --> 0:31:39.800
<v Speaker 1>Because I had so much foreskin, it would just like

0:31:39.840 --> 0:31:42.040
<v Speaker 1>it would ruin the spray and it had come out

0:31:42.080 --> 0:31:46.440
<v Speaker 1>like a oh my god, so much to that, and

0:31:46.480 --> 0:31:48.520
<v Speaker 1>there would just be pissed everywhere, and I'd be like

0:31:49.200 --> 0:31:50.680
<v Speaker 1>that was a good one, and then I'd leave my mom.

0:31:50.760 --> 0:31:54.040
<v Speaker 1>My mom would come and being like, fuck.

0:31:53.960 --> 0:31:56.480
<v Speaker 2>Is this so you're telling me that your mom chopped

0:31:56.480 --> 0:31:58.000
<v Speaker 2>the end of you, dick off because you didn't want

0:31:58.000 --> 0:31:59.920
<v Speaker 2>to clean up the bathroom anymore in the kitchen and

0:32:00.040 --> 0:32:03.240
<v Speaker 2>said I thought I was going to say, we got

0:32:03.280 --> 0:32:11.200
<v Speaker 2>all the kids together and took a vote should be to.

0:32:09.880 --> 0:32:13.400
<v Speaker 1>Sacrifice of me on a Friday evening in the backyard

0:32:13.640 --> 0:32:16.880
<v Speaker 1>in the goat, but my mom pulled me aside and

0:32:16.920 --> 0:32:19.840
<v Speaker 1>she was like, hey, can I I think she must

0:32:19.880 --> 0:32:21.560
<v Speaker 1>have been like, can I just have a quick look,

0:32:22.120 --> 0:32:25.360
<v Speaker 1>and then she was like, fuck, he's got a big car.

0:32:26.360 --> 0:32:29.200
<v Speaker 1>It's a lot of foreskin went to the doctor and

0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:30.360
<v Speaker 1>wait to see your mum again.

0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:31.280
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna yeah.

0:32:31.320 --> 0:32:34.120
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it must be sad for you recording in

0:32:34.200 --> 0:32:36.240
<v Speaker 1>your house this time and my mom's not around.

0:32:36.360 --> 0:32:39.920
<v Speaker 2>I know, you just save this so I can't be like.

0:32:44.000 --> 0:32:45.280
<v Speaker 1>I went to the doctors and they were like, we

0:32:45.400 --> 0:32:46.640
<v Speaker 1>got to get rid of it. It's too much on

0:32:46.720 --> 0:32:47.280
<v Speaker 1>the young fella.

0:32:47.440 --> 0:32:53.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't believe this where I feel like you absolutely

0:32:53.560 --> 0:32:54.560
<v Speaker 2>trying to pull one over.

0:32:54.880 --> 0:32:57.960
<v Speaker 1>I swear to god, I'm not trying to so then

0:32:58.120 --> 0:33:00.600
<v Speaker 1>at the age of yeah, ages six, so I was

0:33:00.640 --> 0:33:03.280
<v Speaker 1>grade one at a time and I had to then.

0:33:03.960 --> 0:33:06.120
<v Speaker 1>You remember saying to the classroom. I was like, guys,

0:33:06.120 --> 0:33:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm going into surgery. Wish me luck. It's booked for tomorrow.

0:33:10.480 --> 0:33:12.640
<v Speaker 1>When I come out of it, I will no longer

0:33:12.680 --> 0:33:16.080
<v Speaker 1>be the Maddy j that I was once before. And

0:33:16.200 --> 0:33:20.320
<v Speaker 1>I remember waking up and the words that I was

0:33:20.360 --> 0:33:23.440
<v Speaker 1>told by the doctor were very comforting, said surgery had

0:33:23.440 --> 0:33:25.240
<v Speaker 1>gone well, and.

0:33:25.640 --> 0:33:29.200
<v Speaker 2>We added two extra inches because we felt sorry for that.

0:33:31.960 --> 0:33:34.960
<v Speaker 1>But I remember, it's weird how some things stick out

0:33:35.040 --> 0:33:36.640
<v Speaker 1>in your mind, like your penis.

0:33:40.760 --> 0:33:41.840
<v Speaker 2>It's meant to do that.

0:33:43.280 --> 0:33:46.120
<v Speaker 1>My penis was bandaged up. It was like it was

0:33:46.160 --> 0:33:48.000
<v Speaker 1>so girthy for the thought it was going to be

0:33:48.040 --> 0:33:51.240
<v Speaker 1>hell yeah, I was like yes, but he made me

0:33:51.280 --> 0:33:53.720
<v Speaker 1>go do a week to make sure that the bandages

0:33:53.760 --> 0:33:55.680
<v Speaker 1>weren't covering, and it was all fine.

0:33:55.840 --> 0:33:58.320
<v Speaker 2>Was like a little target, like let's see how you

0:33:58.320 --> 0:34:00.840
<v Speaker 2>get bull's eye, you good fellas.

0:34:01.200 --> 0:34:04.080
<v Speaker 1>This is a fucking serious story, and you're just there

0:34:04.160 --> 0:34:07.640
<v Speaker 1>taking them. I think, being vulnerable and opening myself up.

0:34:07.720 --> 0:34:10.319
<v Speaker 1>I think, no, this is true and so love this.

0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:11.279
<v Speaker 2>Did she keep it?

0:34:12.000 --> 0:34:15.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't think she did. I haven't. I can't confirmed.

0:34:15.040 --> 0:34:16.560
<v Speaker 2>I've got a phone number you can ask it.

0:34:16.960 --> 0:34:19.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm assuming that Mum decided not to keep my foreskin.

0:34:19.600 --> 0:34:21.040
<v Speaker 1>There would have been so much of it because I

0:34:21.040 --> 0:34:23.279
<v Speaker 1>had so much foreskin like a scarf. You could have

0:34:23.360 --> 0:34:26.400
<v Speaker 1>like gone fucking sailing with that thing. Put it on

0:34:26.440 --> 0:34:29.120
<v Speaker 1>a little tinny and you could have fucking sailed to Sydney.

0:34:29.760 --> 0:34:32.120
<v Speaker 1>It's like Sidney to Hobart. Who's that it's the foreskin

0:34:32.160 --> 0:34:34.239
<v Speaker 1>boat again?

0:34:35.080 --> 0:34:35.319
<v Speaker 2>Skin?

0:34:36.640 --> 0:34:39.080
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, So then from that moment on, I was

0:34:39.120 --> 0:34:41.920
<v Speaker 1>then circumcised. So I'm the only one in my family

0:34:41.960 --> 0:34:42.760
<v Speaker 1>of the kids.

0:34:42.760 --> 0:34:44.399
<v Speaker 2>Just the head of your paenis kept colduring winter.

0:34:45.320 --> 0:34:49.279
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes it does. I'm not gonna lie. Apparently we are

0:34:49.360 --> 0:34:52.920
<v Speaker 1>less sensitive, so sex is more enjoyable for those who

0:34:52.960 --> 0:34:56.040
<v Speaker 1>are uncircumcised. But I wouldn't know because I still come

0:34:56.040 --> 0:34:56.880
<v Speaker 1>in like thirty seconds.

0:34:58.480 --> 0:35:03.440
<v Speaker 2>He's pretty enjoyable to me. I had a mate who actually,

0:35:03.880 --> 0:35:06.040
<v Speaker 2>within the last ten years so in his twenties, had

0:35:06.040 --> 0:35:09.719
<v Speaker 2>to get his get circumcised because the girth of his

0:35:10.239 --> 0:35:15.560
<v Speaker 2>penis actually outgrew the skin and it became tight, so tight.

0:35:16.080 --> 0:35:18.640
<v Speaker 1>So he must have been just a massive grower or

0:35:18.760 --> 0:35:20.399
<v Speaker 1>was it like as it was flaccid. It was still

0:35:20.400 --> 0:35:20.759
<v Speaker 1>too big.

0:35:20.880 --> 0:35:22.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like it was becoming really uncomfortable.

0:35:22.800 --> 0:35:24.360
<v Speaker 1>They just like not put like a snip in it

0:35:24.400 --> 0:35:24.839
<v Speaker 1>to like.

0:35:25.640 --> 0:35:26.480
<v Speaker 2>Release the pressure.

0:35:28.040 --> 0:35:29.000
<v Speaker 1>They had to get rid of the whole thing.

0:35:29.200 --> 0:35:30.840
<v Speaker 2>How old was Well, the thing is he had a size.

0:35:31.320 --> 0:35:33.080
<v Speaker 2>He had a size thirty four skins. You need to

0:35:33.120 --> 0:35:34.000
<v Speaker 2>starze thirty two.

0:35:39.360 --> 0:35:41.319
<v Speaker 1>That would be such a good problem to have. So

0:35:41.760 --> 0:35:45.080
<v Speaker 1>your penis are we big? Are we yay of? Are

0:35:45.120 --> 0:35:46.080
<v Speaker 1>we nay? Look?

0:35:46.480 --> 0:35:50.480
<v Speaker 2>You're yay for circumcism? And there's no criticism from me

0:35:51.440 --> 0:35:52.759
<v Speaker 2>because it's each to their own.

0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:54.239
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm for it.

0:35:54.400 --> 0:35:57.719
<v Speaker 2>I have my allegiance with all of my friends are

0:35:57.719 --> 0:35:58.520
<v Speaker 2>circumcised too.

0:35:58.920 --> 0:36:01.120
<v Speaker 1>That I should have asked this question a lot sooner.

0:36:01.239 --> 0:36:03.520
<v Speaker 1>The fact that you're uncircumcised.

0:36:03.160 --> 0:36:04.720
<v Speaker 2>That's what that's why this works.

0:36:05.280 --> 0:36:08.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, freak.

0:36:09.040 --> 0:36:10.640
<v Speaker 2>I need the length, so I've got an.

0:36:10.600 --> 0:36:13.160
<v Speaker 1>Excuse so it doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me, Okay.

0:36:13.320 --> 0:36:15.080
<v Speaker 1>To be honest, it's one of those things that I'd say, Laura,

0:36:15.120 --> 0:36:15.719
<v Speaker 1>what do you want to do?

0:36:16.160 --> 0:36:16.880
<v Speaker 2>It'll be up to her.

0:36:16.960 --> 0:36:18.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's a Laura.

0:36:18.360 --> 0:36:19.680
<v Speaker 2>Question to take one look at and go.

0:36:19.719 --> 0:36:23.360
<v Speaker 1>He needs all the length, Ash That is all we

0:36:23.400 --> 0:36:27.400
<v Speaker 1>have time for anyone out there who's having some issues parenting.

0:36:28.320 --> 0:36:30.959
<v Speaker 1>Maybe they have turned to the professionals, they haven't given

0:36:31.000 --> 0:36:33.640
<v Speaker 1>them a reasonable answer. Come to us, say.

0:36:33.640 --> 0:36:36.520
<v Speaker 2>Getting If they go to professionals, they're getting an educated answer.

0:36:36.800 --> 0:36:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Yes, you want to count to that word.

0:36:38.880 --> 0:36:41.200
<v Speaker 2>Than someone who's educated doesn't have kids trying to give

0:36:41.239 --> 0:36:45.280
<v Speaker 2>you advice. It's one who's uneducated and also has kids

0:36:45.680 --> 0:36:46.640
<v Speaker 2>give you advice.

0:36:46.880 --> 0:36:49.680
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I think it's important if you are making any

0:36:49.680 --> 0:36:51.960
<v Speaker 1>big life decisions with your children, you want to make

0:36:51.960 --> 0:36:55.480
<v Speaker 1>sure you're getting answers from everybody, like family, friends, professional,

0:36:55.719 --> 0:36:59.319
<v Speaker 1>medi j ash. That's that is why, that is why

0:36:59.360 --> 0:37:02.480
<v Speaker 1>we're here. But you can submit any questions on Instagram

0:37:02.520 --> 0:37:06.239
<v Speaker 1>at two Doting Dads, slip into our dms. We'll pick

0:37:06.280 --> 0:37:08.920
<v Speaker 1>out the best ones. Keep it anonymous unless you want

0:37:08.920 --> 0:37:09.560
<v Speaker 1>to shout.

0:37:09.280 --> 0:37:13.400
<v Speaker 2>Out yeah, yeah and look. If you enjoy today's episode,

0:37:13.440 --> 0:37:16.120
<v Speaker 2>please go onto Apple Podcasts, leave a review, leave a

0:37:16.200 --> 0:37:19.520
<v Speaker 2>star rating. Same with Spotify as well. Otherwise, if you

0:37:19.560 --> 0:37:21.680
<v Speaker 2>just want to send us a message picture of your penis.

0:37:22.760 --> 0:37:23.040
<v Speaker 1>Send it.

0:37:23.200 --> 0:37:25.400
<v Speaker 2>If you've got a five skin right now.

0:37:27.960 --> 0:37:31.279
<v Speaker 1>If you're pregnant, send us a photo, give us. We'll

0:37:31.320 --> 0:37:32.120
<v Speaker 1>be posting them all.

0:37:34.360 --> 0:37:34.839
<v Speaker 2>Thank you guys.

0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:38.759
<v Speaker 1>We've ended up recording right now, see you next Verses.

0:37:46.080 --> 0:37:49.720
<v Speaker 1>Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

0:37:49.719 --> 0:37:53.440
<v Speaker 1>throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.

0:37:53.680 --> 0:37:56.200
<v Speaker 2>We pay our respects to their elders past and present

0:37:56.239 --> 0:37:59.000
<v Speaker 2>and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres straight

0:37:59.080 --> 0:38:03.000
<v Speaker 2>onto peoples today. This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land